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"Suho-yah."
Sieun was mumbling incoherently, his face swollen with the promise of bruises that would form painfully. His eyes were clouded, not properly focusing on either Juntae or Baku looming over him. A few metres away, Seongje laid slumped against the concrete in a similar state. A few more metres, Hyuntak couldn't move from the iron fence he had fallen against.
It was a fairly pitiful scene. Juntae couldn't recall feeling this stressed in his life.
He leaned down next to Sieun. “What was that, Sieun-ah?”
"Suho…"
“Suho?” Juntae looked at Baku and asked frantically, “Who is Suho? Do you know him, Baku-yah? Can Sieun even tell where he is? Could he have an, um—what is it called?—a concussion or something?”
Juntae's heart pounded as hastily as his rushed words, which stumbled over each other as they flowed relentlessly out of his mouth.
"Ahh, Baku, what do we do?" Juntae reached forward before drawing back as he deliberated between helping Sieun up and not jostling him too much. "Seongje's punches looked so painful. Sieun is—"
"Juntae-yah," Baku said with a steady face. He talked slowly and softly, as if to calm Juntae's panicking. "I'm going to take Sieun back to school to rest."
Simple. Straightforward. In control. Juntae swallowed and nodded. He tried to even his voice. "Yep. Okay. Take him to the anime club room. There's a first aid kit in there.”
Baku hummed. He took in the wider scene in front of them. He nodded his chin towards the iron fence. “Why don't you go help Gotak? He looks a little rough. Leave Sieun with me.”
Juntae swivelled his head back—Hyuntak was still squeezing his eyes shut in pain and wincing. “Oh, Hyuntak!”
He hurried back to Hyuntak's side, scurrying around Seongje and avoiding the other Kanghak boys. He knelt down and, automatically, Juntae's hands floated up to pat his head. Hyuntak's eyes cracked open slightly and he gave Juntae a funny look.
"Sorry…" he apologised, lowering his hands. "It's a habit."
Hyuntak's eyes fluttered shut and he went back to leaning his head against the fence.
"Um," Juntae started, swallowing again to draw confidence into his voice, "let me help you up. We'll go down together, Baku's taking Sieun."
Hyuntak gave a slight incline of his head, which Juntae barely recognised as a nod. He offered his arm but Hyuntak ignored it, clawing the fence to help himself up. Juntae rose with him, his arms outstretched, ready to catch him if he fell.
"You guys alright?"
Baku came over to check on them. He had Sieun sprawled over his back, his arms and legs dangling over Baku's shoulders and hips.
Hyuntak fully straightened his back. Grimacing, he said, "Dumbass. You're late."
Baku's mouth straightened into a line. "I'm sorry." Looking down, he hiked Sieun further up his back. "This is all—"
"If you say, "This is all my fault," I'm going to kick your ass," Hyuntak snarled. He glanced at Sieun, likely noting the state he was in up close. "Just go. Sieun needs to rest properly."
Baku said nothing in return, just tightened his grip on Sieun's legs and turned to leave. Going down the stairs was tough—Baku was carrying Sieun and Juntae and Hyuntak were still nursing their injuries—but they made it down eventually.
Just as they exited the building, Juntae noticed police cars parking down the street. God. The fuss the Union kicked up chasing them down and forcing them to the top of that building must have been caught by the neighbours. The four of them just hurried around the corner, out of sight of the police.
Baku bid them a goodbye with a solemn nod of his head and headed in the direction of Eunjang. That left Hyuntak and Juntae to walk home.
Every time his sneakers made contact with the worn-out concrete, a dull ache rang throughout his body, starting from the heels of his feet reverberating up to throb in his head. Hyuntak trudged beside him, dragging his feet. The fact that he was matching Juntae's speed, when his longer legs would normally outpace him, said a lot about the amount of pain he was in.
Juntae clasped his hands together tightly, urging them to stop quivering. Since they ended up on that rooftop, he had been insanely uneasy, and even now that the worse of it was over, his heart still couldn't stop clamoring.
Was it really over? His body didn't seem to believe so—his veins still thrummed with adrenaline, unable to settle, perpetually on edge. Were there more boys from Kanghak, coming to chase after them? Were they waiting for the right moment to pounce?
From across the road, a group of young men laughed loudly. Their cackles echoed around the street.
Juntae snapped his head towards the noise and instinctively pressed to Hyuntak's side. The boys weren't looking at them though, just laughing about something amongst themselves.
Hyuntak gave him a confused look— Juntae was completely crowding his space. He shuffled back awkwardly to an acceptable distance.
But it happened again when a man overtook them on the path. And again when a car honked their horn suddenly. Every time, he moved closer to Hyuntak—whether for comfort or as a measly attempt to protect him. At that car horn, Juntae even grabbed his arm.
Hyuntak finally couldn't hold back from saying something. He stopped completely and peered down at Juntae.
"What's up with you? You seem antsy."
Juntae looked up, caught off guard. "Antsy?"
"Yeah. Antsy. You keep flinching."
"Am I?"
"Yes. Just tell me what's wrong."
Juntae looked off to the side. He licked his lips nervously. “You, uh—" he glanced behind himself apprehensively "—you don’t think they're following us, do you?”
Hyuntak tilted his head and didn't respond, just gave him a gaze that wasn't quite discernible.
Saying his worries out loud made Juntae feel like an idiot. Hyuntak must have thought so too.
Juntae turned away hastily. "Ah, never mind! What am I saying…?"
He started walking again, head down, cheeks burning. After a few steps, he felt an arm fall around his shoulders.
"Where do you live?" Hyuntak hunched over to look Juntae properly in the eye. "I’ll walk you back."
"No, no need!" Juntae shook his head vehemently. "You're still injured! How could I expect you to walk all the way with me?"
"Then, you can patch me up," Hyuntak decided, lightly. "I hear you're an expert?"
Juntae's eyes widened. The idea of Hyuntak walking him home already seemed overwhelming.
But, Hyuntak in his house?
He shook his head once again. "I— I don't know if—" he wrung his hands nervously "It's not that I don't want to help with your injuries, it's just— Taking you to my house is a little…"
Hyuntak sighed. "Look, Juntae." When Hyuntak said his name, he jostled his shoulder lightly. "I'm worried about you."
Juntae just blinked at him, unsure of how to respond. Hyuntak continued, "Today was a lot, you know? I want to make sure you get home safe."
Juntae's eyes flitted over the bruises dotting Hyuntak's face and thought, Shouldn't it be the other way around?
If the cogs weren't turning so loudly in Juntae's brain, he would have a noticed a hand soothingly petting the back of his head, but, unfortunately, the touch went unnoticed.
Juntae didn't know what to do. But they were approaching the point they would have to seperate and Juntae couldn't deny the fact that he didn't feel safe walking home alone.
"Hm?" Hyuntak asked with a tilt of his head. "Okay?"
As soon as they arrived at Juntae's house, he ushered Hyuntak to lay down on the couch while he went to gather his things. His parents still weren't back from work yet so the two of them had the house to themselves. Once Hyuntak got off his feet and onto the soft cushions of Juntae's couch, his body relaxed, the tension seeping out of his muscles all at once. Juntae went to quickly change out of his school uniform, while Hyuntak just shrugged off his blazer and tossed it unceremoniously onto the arm of the couch.
Now, he could feel all of the aches and pains in his body acutely—the stabbing sensation in his knee, the throbbing in his head, even the faint taste of blood in his mouth.
A groan slipped out without him meaning too and, instantly, Juntae gave him an extremely concerned look.
"J— Just wait a second, Hyuntak! I'll go get you some pain-killers!" Juntae yelped before scuttling into his kitchen.
Hyuntak's eyes fluttered shut. He could hear the noises of Juntae rummaging, drawers being opened and shut, their contents rolling around and knocking into each other.
Hyuntak opened his eyes—just barely—and watched Juntae flit around his kitchen. He took tiny, frantic steps, rifling through his pantry and cupboards, murmuring to himself as he pulled out various first-aid items and placed them on the counter.
The clumsy way he gathered his things was kind of cute. And, the worried look he kept sending Hyuntak on the couch—eyebrows scrunched together, eyes wide, lips pressed together—was too.
Hyuntak found himself thinking that a lot recently. Thinking that Juntae was cute. To be fair, it would be hard to find anyone that would disagree. But, the way Hyuntak found him cute was slightly different. Juntae was cute in a way that made Hyuntak want to protect him or not let anyone else get too close. Sometimes, he felt the need to hold Juntae breathtakingly tight, or squish him between his fingers.
Juntae opened his fridge and bent down to peer into the freezer compartment.
"Does he need the small ice pack or the big ice pack?" Hyuntak could faintly hear his whispering. "I'll just take both," he muttered to himself.
Was this normal? It wasn't like Juntae was a kid or even a fluffy animal, so why did Hyuntak find him so… adorable?
Hyuntak tracked Juntae (with his eyes, not his head—moving his head hurt too much) as he reentered the living room. With him, he brought a bottle of medication, a glass of water, two ice packs, and a small first-aid kit—all precariously balanced in his hands and tucked under his arms. He placed them all down carefully, arranging them neatly on the coffee table.
“Juntae-yah," Hyuntak called out softly. "Can we turn off the lights? My head hurts so bad.”
Juntae didn't even respond, just swiftly jumped up to turn them off.
"Is that better?" He glanced at the kitchen—its lights were still spilling into the living room. "Do you want the kitchen lights off too?"
Hyuntak shook his head lightly. "They're fine. How else are we going to see?"
Juntae nodded slowly as he lowered himself to kneel back in front of the table. While Hyuntak shut his eyes again, Juntae worked silently. He shook out two pills of ibuprofen and grabbed the glass of water.
"Hyuntak-ah." He offered them both to Hyuntak. "Take this. It should help with the pain."
Hyuntak sat up gingerly and took the pills with the water. Then, Juntae offered him the ice packs.
"This one, you can use for your face. The bigger one can go anywhere else you need it."
Hyuntak did as he was told, holding the small ice pack to his cheek and placing the other on his knee. Then, Juntae opened his first aid kit, pulling out bandaids and antiseptic cream.
"Hey, what are the bandaids for?"
"Your cheek." Juntae notioned to his own left cheek. "You've got a cut."
Hyuntak felt the skin and winced. He hadn't even noticed.
"Lower your hand."
Juntae's hands were gentle. He dabbed at the cut with a damp cloth and added the antiseptic cream. Then, he peeled the bandaid from its wrapper and placed it over his cut carefully, his fingers just barely ghosting over his cheek.
Hyuntak's attention stayed on Juntae's face, while Juntae's eyes never left his cheek.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Huh?"
Hyuntak gestured to the steady way Juntae placed the bandaid on his cheek. "Your hands—" Hyuntak recalled how they quivered on their walk back "—they're not shaking any more."
Juntae hastily backed up. He sat back on the floor, his hands under his thighs, as if hiding them from view.
"It's stupid. I don't know why I was so freaked out."
"It's not stupid. It was a freaky situation."
Juntae just shook his head, disbelievingly. "You and Baku—" He looked up at Hyuntak with admiration in his eyes "—you were both so calm, even after all of that. I could never be like that."
Hyuntak paused for a second. He fiddled with the ice pack on his knee and brought the other back to his face.
"You know, I used to do taekwondo, right?"
Juntae nodded. "Of course I do. Your kicks are incredible."
Hyuntak hummed. "Do you know why I stopped?"
Juntae bit his bottom lip, then shook his head.
Hyuntak sighed.
This might be his first time telling this story—everyone else important in his life had been there to witness it. It was strange to be one telling it, rather than hearing it told by other people, mourning his 'wasted potential.' It would be the first time he had had to put those feelings he felt into words. The first time he would acknowledge it.
"The Union fucked me up. Fucked my knee up. It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Genuinely.
"The second worst pain was hearing that I wouldn't be able to play taekwondo again."
"I stayed inside for weeks. Didn't go anywhere except school and home. Kept my head down. I even avoided the spots Union boys like to hang out."
"But then I thought, "those assholes already took away my future, why should I let them take my pride?" So, I showed up—for Baku, for Eunjang, for myself—even though I was afraid. Even when I didn't want anything to do with them."
"Eventually, I got over my injury—physically and mentally—then I didn't have to pretend I wasn't afraid anymore. I'm more… resentful. So, I'll never let those dickheads kick me down again—whether with fear or with punches. I'll give them what they deserve and worse."
As Juntae listened, his eyes softened—Hyuntak couldn't tell if it was in sympathy or understanding.
Hyuntak nodded his chin towards him. "Did it not get to you too?"
"Huh?"
"I mean—" Hyuntak gestured vaguely "—everything that’s happened to you. With Hyoman and shit. Does it not make you wanna go punch a wall or beat the shit out of someone?"
Juntae thought for a moment, rocking on his palms before shaking his head.
"No, not really. I mean, at first, kinda? Just because I was so angry at how unfair it was. But then Sieun made me realise I was only stuck in that unfair situation as long as I let myself be."
Juntae folded his arms on the coffee table and laid his head on top of them.
"I think it all just made me want to be better person. Like, seeing all the evil in this world and how cruel people can be makes me want to balance it out by being as kind as I can. You know, reduce the negativity that’s out there. Or else, it would never end."
Hyuntak scooted forward on the couch. "But, don't you think those people should get what they deserve?"
His face screwed up. "I don't really want to be the source of someone else's pain."
"No matter the person?"
"No matter the person."
"Even Choi Hyoman?"
"Even Choi Hyoman."
Juntae sat there, his eyes blinking off into space, his cheek smushed up against his arm, all while Hyuntak was thinking...
What the fuck?
The idea that at Eunjang High School in fucking Yeongdeungpo , the one person who probably had the most reason to be resentful had nothing but kindness left in his heart after all that happened to him? Was there another person on this god-forsaken Earth that could come up with a perspective as pure as that one?
Was he an angel? Hyuntak couldn't help but think so.
"Are you tired?" Juntae's words pulled back his attention. "Do you want to just stay over?"
Hyuntak thought about it for a moment. His entire body hurt like hell and it would be a long and uncomfortable commute back home. He slowly nodded.
"Okay, great. You can sleep on my bed, I'll clean up my room now."
Hyuntak shook his head casually. "Nah, I'll just sleep on the couch."
"The cou—!" Juntae straightened up, as if the very notion was unimagineable. "No, no way. I know our couch isn't comfortable at all."
Hyuntak made a point of swinging his feet up and placing a pillow behind his neck, laying down as if he was ready to fall asleep there and then. His legs couldn't quite stretch out fully and his neck was in an awkward position, but it wasn't too bad.
"Ahh, but it's so nice though?"
"I'm serious. You can sleep in my room, it's fine."
"Hmmm, I think I'd prefer here though. Anyways, I'm a guest, how could I steal your bed?"
"You're injured, how could sleep out here?"
Hyuntak closed his eyes and pretended not to hear him.
"Hyuntak. Go Hyuntak."
Still nothing. Juntae gave an exasperated huff and Hyuntak could hear him walk off. After a few seconds, he popped an eye open and caught Juntae returning to the living room with some blankets, a foldable mattress, and a pillow.
Hyuntak watched, amused, as Juntae set up a bed next to the couch. "What's this? You're not going to sleep in your bed?"
"No," Juntae answered stubbornly. "Even if you're not using it, I won't use it either. So, you're just basically letting it go to waste."
Juntae looked up at him, brows drawn together in an attempt to look serious. He was waiting to see if his logic would cause Hyuntak to give in. Hyuntak just chuckled and settled into the couch cushions.
He gave an exaggerated sigh. "I guess we'll both be wasting it then. I don't really mind though; I can't imagine your bed is comfier than this."
Juntae grumbled to himself before stalking off to get another blanket. He threw it onto Hyuntak, who laughed again when it hit his stomach.
The room settled as Juntae started setting up his mattress and Hyuntak chuckled lightly to himself. Hyuntak broke the silence that had formed with a tentative quesiton.
"What did you think of me when you met me? Like, your first impression?
"First impression?" Juntae looked up from the pillow he was adjusting. "Well, I just heard about you here and there. I knew you were friends with Baku. And you're both on the basketball team. Other than that, I didn't really know…"
Juntae thought for a second then let out a snort.
"What?"
"Do you wanna hear something funny?"
"Tell me." Hyuntak found himself smiling before he even started.
"You know how all the boys called you Gotak?" Hyuntak nodded. "They never call you by your name, so I didn't know your real first name for a while." Juntae grinned. "I assumed your last name was Go, so, for a bit, your first name was just “Tak” in my head.”
"Tak." Hyuntak toyed with his bottom lip as he smiled. "Cute.”
(Everything about this kid was cute. How was that even possible?)
"You can keep calling me that, if you want."
Juntae turned his head and asked, "Really? Is that alright?"
"Yeah. Doesn't it make us seem super close?”Hyuntak flipped onto stomach and hugged his pillow where it slotted onto his chin. He made proper eye contact with Juntae and admitted, “I feel like we have gotten closer. With everything that's happened."
"Yeah." Juntae gave a small smile. "Us four have gone through so—"
"No. I mean—" Hyuntak gestured between them "—just us."
Juntae's eyebrows shot up. "Just us?"
"Yeah. Something about you, Juntae…"
"What?"
Hyuntak turned back onto his back with a sigh. "You’re different. You're not like Baku or Sieun. Being friends with you… feels different."
Juntae seemed to freeze—his eyes widened slowly, and his mouth parted.
He shook himself from his daze. "What does that even mean?" he asked, with a feigned lightness that masked his bewilderment.
"In a good way." Hyuntak settled into the cushion, readying himself to fall asleep. "I feel like I like you more than them."
Juntae didnt say anything. After a few moments of silence, Hyuntak looked to him, puzzled, and Juntae stared back at him with a indiscernible way. He pushed off his blanket slowly.
"I'm… going to go shower. And brush my teeth. You can go to sleep first, don't wait for me, you need the rest!"
Juntae's speech sped up towards the end as he scrambled away to the bathroom.
Huh, he thought. Weird.