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There was something about the fruit on this planet. It was odd, unusual, nothing they could’ve expected. They’d docked the castle on a planet to recuperate from a battle, seemingly uninhabited. Weird, given the lush and beautiful greenery.
That probably should’ve been a sign.
Hunk had collected several samples to take back to the castle, ensuring they were safe for human (or half Galra) consumption. Some had passed, so the team had set out in search for more.
They were safe, wouldn’t kill them, but they had an unusual effect. Lance chewed an orange and green coloured fruit that looked like a cross between a mango and pineapple. It tasted somewhere between a strawberry and a lychee.
He took a bite, then decided he would stick with food goo. The others all seemed to agree. They hadn’t even tried the same fruits. Just because something was edible, didn’t mean it was tasty.
Except, the fruits began to make the paladins act – strange. Hunk was off with the pixies, singing to himself and dancing around the room with his own music. Pidge lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling with glazed eyes. She was counting. Just lying there, counting.
Keith was wrapped around Lance, unable to control his new koala like limbs. Lance had to try very hard not to talk.
His fruit was making him tell the truth.
Coran entered the room and saw the chaos, startling slightly. “What’s going on here?”
“Weird fruit made us weird.” Lance said, the only one able to focus on the question.
Amusement filled Coran, determining they were in no real danger. “Is Hunk ok?”
The yellow paladin was singing to the wall now, in his own world. He’d almost stood on Pidge, who was well into the 100s now.
“He’s as ok as the rest of us,” Lance said, going for a shrug. It was made very difficult with Keith’s arms tight around his shoulders. Keith, who had him in a death grip, knuckles practically white. It became clear that the fruit caused him physical pain if he wasn’t touching Lance, they’d found that out the hard way. Lance hoped the fruits effects weren’t permanent.
“You seem fine,” Coran said, observing Lance.
“I can’t lie,” he said. “I tried.” Because he had. Several times. Earth’s sky was blue, the water was wet, he loved Keith. Even his own thoughts refused to lie.
Coran nodded, slowly evaluating the space. “Well, then. I’ll go see if we can’t hurry this along.”
Lance dropped onto the couch, sagging into Keith’s waiting arms. He arranged them so he was sitting on top of Keith, the black paladin delighting in the new position. He ran his fingers through Lance’s hair, Lance all but melting at the new action, so tender, so careful.
He wished it were real.
“Are you in there?” Lance asked, trying so hard to clench his mouth on the thoughts that threatened to become words. This was harder than killing Zarkon.
Keith hummed, vibrations moving through Lance’s body. His fingers drew soft patterns on Lance’s exposed arms. “I’m here, sorry. Are you uncomfortable?”
“No, yes, I don’t know,” the inability to lie wasn’t working for Lance. He wanted to say he was fine with this, because he didn’t want Keith to hurt. But he also wasn’t fine with it, because this was what his heart truly desired. Keith wasn’t his, he wouldn’t ever be.
“I’m sorry,” Keith said, truly sounding it. “I can’t help it.”
“It’s-” he stopped. It wasn’t ok, he wanted to say. None of this was ok. “I know.” he said instead. He was glad the fruit hadn’t made him compelled to speak the truth. At least he had the ability to remain silent.
“This sucks,” Keith said.
“Tell me about it.”
They sounded as miserable as each other. Keith, who hated physical contact, went so far as to avoid a high five, and Lance, who just wanted to kiss him.
Lance sighed, looking at where Pidge and Hunk were collapsed. Hunk was reciting poetry now, beside the counting paladin. Both seemed out of it, enough that Lance wasn’t concerned.
“How do you feel?” Lance asked after some time had passed.
“Weird,” Keith said. “I know what I’m doing, but I have no control to stop it. My skin needs to be on yours.”
“I’m sorry,” Lance said. He didn’t want to cause discomfort to his best friend. Keith valued his personal space, and here Lance was, enjoying it. He was taking advantage of the situation.
He just wanted Keith to want this too. To be in his arms because he wanted to.
He knew it would never happen.
Unfortunately, it hadn’t worn off by dinner time. Not even by bedtime. Apparently, if the body was digesting it, the effects remained. 3 whole days. Pidge was at least able to sleep, and Hunk had long since passed out.
Lance knew there was no chance Keith would be able to sleep without Lance. He was already preparing for a sleepless night.
“We could watch a movie,” Keith suggesting, feeling Lance’s tension. He couldn’t hide anything with how close they were. “I’ll fall asleep, probably.”
Lance looked to his own room, then sighed. “We should try to sleep,” he could see the exhaustion on Keith’s face. All this hugging was draining him.
Keith followed Lance, then decided that wasn’t working.
He picked Lance up.
Lance gasped, flailing dramatically and throwing his arms around Keith’s neck. “What was that for?” he demanded, Keith’s powerful steps marching them to his room. Part of Lance wilted. He’d finally get to see Keith’s room, to sleep in it, but at what cost?
“Easier this way,” Keith said, depositing Lance on the bed. “Sorry,” was all the warning he got, before Keith was pulling him to his chest. Lance made another noise, dragged to the warmth of Keith’s side. Trapped.
He hated it. He loved it. He wanted to cry. Wanted to run away, but he couldn’t hurt Keith. He could never hurt him. He loved him too much for that.
“Stop apologizing,” Lance said, trying to relax. This was going to be a long 3 days. He couldn’t lie, and he couldn’t get away from the person he lied to the most.
Keith’s breathed deeply against Lance’s neck. “I’d never do this if it weren’t for the fruit.”
“I know,” Lance’s guts twisted, he knew it was the truth. Why would Keith ever touch Lance willingly? Keith, who was so perfect, who put the universe to shame by how good he was. He was so strong, so brave. And Lance knew he’d never be enough for Keith, and that hurt. He was all Lance could want.
“Are you ok?”
He closed his eyes, trying to steady his voice. “I will be.”
Keith shifted slightly, turning them so he could lean over Lance. He stared down at him, dark eyes piercing. “But you’re not now,” it wasn’t a question, and Lance didn’t say anything.
What part of this was ok? Having everything he wanted, so cruel and tempted like this. Dangling like a fruit, just in reach. A ghost of what it could be. But Keith wasn’t his. The damn fruit made this happen. He wanted to cry.
“I know you don’t want me to touch you,” Keith’s voice was soft, so full of emotion that it had Lance’s throat clogging.
“You have no idea,” Lance said, feeling heat rise to his face, eyes filling with pesky tears.
“Lance?” Keith asked, panic touching his tone. He looked hurt, pained, at seeing the tears in his eyes. Lance could do little to stop them.
“Please, I don’t want to talk.”
Keith nodded, laying back down, eyes staring at Lance. “It’ll be ok, Lance.”
Lance ached, heart begging to reach out and touch Keith, to tell him the truth. He couldn’t have Keith rejecting him, not when they had three days like this. “No, it won’t,” the words were whispered, falling on deaf ears as Keith was fast asleep, breath ghosting over Lance’s shoulder.
He woke, warm and safe. Strong arms caging him. For a moment, a single moment, Lance thought it was all real. Felt the love pour from the arms as though it were real. Let himself dream.
Then, he awoke and found Keith still sleeping. Eyes closed, he looked so peaceful. He looked so beautiful in sleep. Lance’s fingers ached to run through his mullet, over his cheeks. He ached to kiss him, for it to mean something. He wanted to reach forwards and tell him the truth.
He couldn’t, not if it would mean losing him. Now when all this was temporary. Keith would go back to keeping Lance at arm’s length. He was torn between committing this to memory and trying to forget. He couldn’t work out which would hurt more.
Keith’s eyes began to flutter open, arms squeezing tighter. Lance froze, waiting for Keith to adjust himself and the black paladin released a pained groan.
“Not a nightmare then,” Keith said, shutting his eyes once more, clenching them shut as his head lay on the pillow.
“I hope I don’t feature in your nightmares,” Lance said, somewhat horrified. Keith was so often in his dreams, so often appearing to comfort him, where everything was ok. This reality was so much worse.
“No,” Keith said, and it sounded like the truth. “Am I in your nightmares?”
Lance went to shake his head, but he paused. “Sometimes.”
Keith’s mouth fell open, eyes snapping to his friend’s. “What?”
“After a fight, if you get hurt. I dream you die. They’re the worst dreams.”
The black paladin looked – horrified. Saddened. Pained. “Lance…”
“I have them for the whole team,” Lance admitted, wanting to imply Keith wasn’t special, but he was. Keith’s dreams always felt the worst, the most real. He never woke up without a cold sweat and a racing heart.
“I’m sorry.”
“Still saying that?” Lance looked away, eager to change the topic. “It is what it is.”
“Did you have any last night?”
“No,” he’d slept so well. Better than he had for months. Probably because he had a warm body pressed against him, safe and grounding.
“Good.”
Lance hummed.
Pidge was well into the 10,000s when they ate breakfast. She looked brighter after her sleep. Hunk’s poetry had taken on a more conversational tone, helping Coran prepare the food.
Keith was plastered against Lance’s back, after carrying him to the kitchens. Allura raised only an eyebrow at the appearance.
“Sleep well?” she asked. Lance nodded, Keith hummed. “I didn’t realise that fruit would have such effects.”
“It’s ok,” Keith said, though it didn’t sound sincere. Lance made him sit down in a separate chair, but the black paladin pulled Lance into his own lap. He went stiff, feeling the warmth of Keith’s lap and the strength of his leader. He forced himself to relax, knowing this would be much worse if he didn’t.
Allura watched Lance, observed him. “You seem to be ok?”
“I can’t lie.”
“Which shouldn’t be a problem,” Allura said, clapping her hands cheerfully. “No secrets on team Voltron!”
“Secrets are a part of life,” Keith said, sounding more defensive then Lance expected. “No one can have nothing to themselves. Even Voltron. And Lance has no choice but to tell the truth.”
He watched Keith, wide eyes fond. “That was almost eloquent.”
“I simply said what I’d want someone to say if it were me. We all have secrets, Lance.”
“Yeah,” he hummed.
Allura looked properly chastised. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Lance.”
“I know.”
With nothing to do for the rest of the day, Lance and Keith watched movie after movie. Staying as quiet as possible, it was easy to ignore the fruit. Keith would apologise, Lance would accept it, and they’d move on. None of this was fine, they weren’t about to pretend.
On the third morning, Pidge was back to normal. Hunk too. Lance – he couldn’t lie still. And Keith was still a koala.
At breakfast, Pidge was the one to laugh. “Of course, it’s you two that get stuck with the longer fruit.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance asked, bristling.
Pidge shrugged, unphased by the aggression in Lance’s tone. “Just, you know. Keith who hates physical contact, and you, who lies to everyone – including yourself. Poetic.”
Lance turned his glare to the floor, feeling his face flush.
“Are you compelled to tell the truth?” Hunk asked, looking like a concerned friend. He knew Lance’s affections for Keith, had heard him rant about them in the late hours of the night.
“No, just, if I want to speak, it must be the truth.”
“No wonder you’ve been so quiet,” Pidge muttered. “Weird.”
“I don’t speak constantly,” he said, getting defensive. “People would get sick of me much faster if I did.” The words were out before he could stop them, and he clamped his mouth shut.
Keith’s arms tightened around his waist. “We won’t get sick of you.”
“Everyone does, eventually.”
Silence filled the space. Lance wanted to run, to hide. He couldn’t, not with his personal koala.
“So, you can’t lie,” Pidge said, her tone suggesting she was trying to change the mood. “What do you honestly think of Keith’s mullet?” she wore a grin, she knew exactly what she was doing. That little –
“Pidge,” Hunk levelled her with a warning glare, shaking his head.
“I like it, a lot,” Lance said, not to anyone but the table. It was the truth. Keith would look beautiful with any hair style though. The mullet worked for him now more, he’d really grown into it.
“Dude,” Pidge was cackling. “How much longer? I want to know everything. Starting with why you skipped that one class?”
“I found a dog,” Lance said immediately. That was easy. Though he had lied at the time, everyone of his friends had known it was a lie. He’d had an image to maintain, he was supposed to be Keith’s rival. The cooler one. Cool people didn’t miss class to pat a dog.
“Seriously?” Pidge asked, though she knew it was the truth. “Ok, hook ups.”
“That’s private,” Lance frowned, twitching. He leant back into Keith, hoping he would offer some protection.
“It’s not like you were subtle, how many chicks, ballpark?”
Lance glared at the table, trying not to form words, but they pushed through. He could feel Keith’s gaze, burning into his shoulder. “None, ok? None. I never did anything with any of them. Guess I don’t have game.”
The table fell silent. Lance tried to burn a hole into the table with his glare. Hoped that it might swallow him whole.
“Maybe lets not ask these questions,” Hunk said, because he was a good bro and he looked uncomfortable.
Pidge just narrowed her eyes, focussed on Lance. “Why not?”
“Because I-” Lance bit his lip, but the words came out. “Because I was already falling for someone else.”
More silence, more unpleasant then the last. Keith’s arms stiffened. Lance hoped to all above that he hadn’t worked it out.
“What? Who?”
“Pidge,” Hunk snapped.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. It’s not like he’s going to tell us normally. And we need to make sure this chick is good enough for our Lance.”
“Guy,” Lance said, without thinking.
Her jaw dropped. “Oh. Lance-”
“Save it,” he went to stand, dragging his koala with him.
“I don’t want to hear another apology.”
Keith hummed against Lance’s back, comforting and real. “Whoever holds your heart must be very lucky.”
Lance snorted, closing his eyes. He was grateful to be facing away from Keith. At least this way he could hide his heart.
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t see yourself properly. Red paladin of Voltron, team sharpshooter, strategist. Lance, we’d be lost without you.” The sincerity of Keith’s voice made Lance’s heart flutter.
He sighed, trying not to enjoy the way Keith’s arms felt wrapped around him. This was just temporary. It would wear off by days end. Lance would go back to being alone, lying to himself.
“Thanks, Keith.”
“I’m serious, you know. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Did the weird fruit make you emotional too?”
Keith shook his head, prickles of hair against Lance’s neck almost pleasant. “No, that ones all me. You’ve got your secrets, I’ve got mine. But, you can always tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to ruin everything. You’re my best friend, Keith. I don’t want that to change.”
Keith shifted, leaning over Lance, practically looming. “Why would that change? Are you in love with Shiro? Because, sorry, gross. He’s too old for you, and that’s my brother.”
Lance laughed, despite himself. “No, not Shiro.”
“Griffon? He’s an asshole, Lance. Seriously, you could do so much better.”
“Not him.”
Keith was clearly about to go through the list of cadets in their year. But, Lance’s mouth decided to betray him.
“It’s you, Keith.”
The silence he received made him want to cry, but he also couldn’t hurt Keith by leaving. He didn’t want to upset him, but he clearly had. So, he hurried to fill the silence.
“It’s ok, I know you don’t feel the same, and I’m trying to get over you, I swear. I’m not expecting anything, I promise.”
He sealed his eyes shut, turning his head. He wanted to run, far, far away. Take Red, leave the ship. Anything to avoid Keith’s rejection.
“Me?” the word was barely a whisper, a ghost of a word. Lance refused to look up and see the horror, the disgust in Keith’s eyes.
Lance cringed away. “Yes, you, Keith. Obviously. You just – you’re so pretty, did you know that? And strong, powerful, you’re so good. Of course I love you. Always have. It’s why I started the rivalry. I just wanted you to notice me.”
Keith’s body seemed to go lax. “You love me?”
Lance’s eyes flung open, and he scowled at Keith. “I’d like to avoid the part where you rub salt in my wounds. Just reject me already, move on. Please.” Even he could hear the pleading tone.
That seemed enough to make Keith finally react, unfreezing. A hand moved to Lance’s cheek. “Oh, Lance. You don’t understand at all, do you?”
He felt confusion fall over him. Keith’s eyes were soft, watching so carefully. There was hope in them, a smile blooming those beautiful lips.
“I love you too, have for a long while.” Keith said, meeting Lance’s eyes deliberately.
“What?”
“I love you, Lance McClain. You’re proud and special, and you always know how to help someone else. Your smile is like the sun, and I want to gravitate towards you.”
“You love me?”
“All of you. Say you’ll be mine?”
Lance finally smiled, feeling all his strings cut. His body went lax on the bed, safe in Keith’s arms. “I’m always yours, Keith.”
Their first kiss was perfect. Lance felt all those long years of pining melt away. He felt their true connection settle. It had always been them.
“Red is the worst lion,” Lance said, grinning from ear to ear. “I hate Keith’s mullet.”
Keith groaned, rolling away from his boyfriend. “Are you always so loud in the mornings?”
Lance beamed, pulling Keith back to his side. “Only for you, my beloved.”
Keith hummed into a soft kiss full of promise. He accepted the contact with ease. “Glad you’re back.”
“I never left.”