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"I swear if I'm going to hear that song again..." Faye groaned, leaning her head back against the backrest of the slipper chair.
It was like the 20th time she has heard this one song.
"It's almost Christmas, you'll hear it again" Jet interjected, with a smile.
"Ugh" Faye responded, putting her hand on her face. "Why can't they play anything else... If I'm going to hear 'all I want for Christmas is you' again I think I'm going to scream..."
Spike, which was laying down on the couch, smiled. She was pretty funny like that, getting annoyed at a song.
They were watching TV again. And once again, the whoever ran the TV, has played a Christmas related ad.
And it obviously played that song again.
"ARGH" Faye yelped, shutting down the TV.
"Well, there goes the TV" Spike said under his breath.
For a moment, they all sat silent.
"So" Faye broke the quiet. "Any plans?"
"Plans for what?" Spike opened one eye.
"You know, Christmas" Faye shrugged.
"We can take a break from bounty hunting" Jet suggested. "We have enough money for now"
"And do what?" Faye looked at him.
"I'd visit my family" Jet shrugged, "haven't seen them in a while"
"You never said you had one" Spike said.
"Well, it's obvious" Jet grinned briefly.
"Not really..." Spike looked away.
**
**
**
Later Spike and Ed were walking through a small alley in a city on Ganymede.
Just because Jet told them to get something before they go visit his family's home.
"Spike-personnn" Ed exclaimed. "loooook"
She pointed at some painted dolls.
Rather than just dolls, it was a small dollhouse, with five figurines, from which three represented adults, one a kid and one a dog.
One of the adult-representing figurines had a small crack across it's paint, and possibly wood, like it has fell down. Rest of them perfect, paint bright and untouched.
It was a neat little family, but Spike's gaze lingered longer on the damaged doll.
"Ed wants it! Ed wants it!" Ed looked at Spike, excited.
"We don't have that much money..." Spike looked away.
"Oh please" Ed grabbed Spike's arm. "Just thisss?"
"I can give it to you, young boy, as a gift" suddenly another voice said.
It was the seller. He was smiling kindly.
"Ed is not a boy. Ed is a girl!" Ed turned to the man and grinned.
"To the young girl then" the seller handed the dollhouse to Ed.
"I have a dollhouse, I have a dollhouse!" Ed spun, holding the newly acquired prize high. "Thank you mister mister!"
Spike turned to the seller.
"How much will it cost?" he asked.
"Oh, nothing" the man waved his hand, "a smile on a kid's face is enough"
"Okay, thanks..." Spike muttered.
"Is she your sister?" the man suddenly asked, "She does look like you a bit"
Spike hesitated for a moment.
"...No..." he finally said. He almost said yes.
"A daughter then?" seller leaned against the stall.
"I'm a cowboy, sir" Spike looked at the man directly.
"Oh! No family then?" the smile disappeared from man's face.
"Yeah..." Spike sighed, before turning away.
Ed was far ahead in the alley, and she waved to Spike as she noticed him.
"Have a great day!" the seller called behind Spike as he started walking.
Spike didn't reply. He just walked.
Looking around, he saw many happy families, parents with their children, couples that probably will have kids someday, and kids playing with each other.
Spike slouched slightly, hands deeper into his pockets.
So many happy people all around, with their little families and places they belonged to.
"Spike-Spike!" Ed called from somewhere ahead.
But Spike wasn't paying attention to her.
But suddenly Spike felt a sudden tug on his arm.
He turned his head.
There was a woman, probably in her 30s, with messy curly black hair. Her eyes were light brown, just like Spike's left eye.
She looked as she saw a ghost, or hoped she saw one.
"Oh" she sighed, letting go of Spike's arm, "You're not him..."
She then turned and started walking away.
Spike watched quietly as she disappeared into the crowd.
"Weird..." he shrugged and turned.
He immediately bumped into Ed, which decided to run towards him.
"Spike-person, who was that?" Ed asked, looking up at him.
"I don't know" Spike looked behind briefly before looking back at Ed.
"Come on, Ed wants snack snacks!" Ed changed the topic immediately, grinning.
"Okay then" Spike smiled softly, forcing it on despite what he felt inside.
**
**
**
"Did you bring anything?" Jet asked, knocking on the door of the apartment.
"Yeah" Faye held up a small bouquet of what appeared to be colorful pens.
"Ye..." Spike also responded, but his stare was fixated at the floor.
Jet was quiet for a moment, looking briefly at Spike, before the door finally opened.
"Jet!" short woman, with short, neat black hair, exclaimed once she saw Jet.
"Mom!" Jet said, embracing the woman.
They hugged for a brief moment.
"Oh! these must be your friends" she stated pulling away from the hug, "Please come in, come in"
And so they walked inside, Jet and his mother first, Faye next, Ed and Ein right after them.
And Spike walked last, closing the door behind him.
But he stopped at the doorway.
Jet was talking to some of his relatives already, probably catching up on lost time, Faye managed to get into a conversation with Jet's mother, probably talking about food or money, meanwhile Ed was showing the dollhouse to a few kids, that were also here, and Ein.
But no one noticed Spike yet.
The door was just behind him. He could excuse himself in any moment.
But it felt... wrong.
Maybe he didn't want to upset Jet, or maybe it was something else entirely.
He couldn't name it properly.
"Hey, Spike" Jet noticed Spike finally, "Come here!"
Spike, despite himself, walked over to Jet.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Look at this picture" he handed Spike a tiny piece of paper.
It was a photograph of a small child. With black hair and light bluish-gray eyes. And the kid grinned widely, holding a model of a plane.
"Was this you?" Spike looked from the picture.
"Yeah" Jet grinned, "That was the first model of a plane I ever put together"
He took the picture back.
"I was so proud of it" he added.
Spike didn't respond. He just stared briefly at Jet.
He slowly backed away when Jet, too involved in the conversation to notice, wasn't looking.
But suddenly he bumped into someone behind him.
He immediately turned.
"I'm so sorry-" he blurted out immediately.
But then froze.
It was that woman from before.
And she was staring at Spike with wide eyes as well.
Neither of them dared to say anything.
But then...
"Claire!" it was Jet.
"Oh, Jet!" woman snapped out of the thoughts. "Long time, no see!"
Jet moved to them quickly.
Spike moved aside instinctually.
"How have you been?" Jet asked.
"Oh I'm good" she smiled, but then looked back at Spike, "Is this a friend of your's?"
"Yes, this is Spike" Jet turned to Spike, "Spike, this is Claire, a neighbor from next door's"
"Nice to meet you, Spike" Claire reached a hand towards Spike.
"Nice to meet you too, ma'am" Spike said, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Claire noticed it, retreating, but still gave Spike a smile, but her gaze didn't leave him.
"Hmm" she hummed, "You look a lot like my husband...."
"You have a husband?" Jet interjected, suprised. "You never told me about it"
"Had" she sighed, "He died a long time ago"
"Oh" Jet let out, clearly not expecting that response.
"But I still keep a photo of him" she reached behind collar of her shirt, taking out a small locket pendant.
She opened it.
"Haha, he really did look a lot like you, Spike" Jet laughed once he saw the picture.
Spike took a look at the picture as well.
In the photo there was a man, which did look quite a lot like Spike, same green curly hair, but still looked... off, and Claire.
And a toddler-aged child.
And the child had same green hair like, as assumed, his father, and round, big light brown eyes.
Spike froze, staring at the kid.
The child had the same down-turned eyes he saw in the mirror so many times, and the same exact shape of them as well. The color of the right eye was off, but that was to be expected.
And the hair... it was just like his.S
"Who's the kid?" Jet asked, seemingly not noticing the resemblance.
"That's Waylen" Claire said softly, "He was such a bright child..."
"I never knew you had a kid" Jet looked at her, "What happened to him?"
"One day he... got lost" Claire stammered, "I looked for him everywhere, but... I could find him..."
She covered her eyes with her hand.
Jet immediately moved to try to comfort her.
"We'll find him, don't you worry" he said, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"You won't find him" Claire stated, clearly sobbing, "He'd be around 27 years old by now..."
Spike froze upon hearing that, speechless.
He suddenly remembered something.
He himself was never properly given a name.
All "Spike Spiegel" was was a name he had taken from pages a old, falling apart phonebook he found while playing out in a street.
He never asked where he came from, or where he belonged to.
All he had was street kids, Vicious, and then Mao and the Syndicate.
And then Julia.
And then... he didn't.
"Excuse me for a moment..." Spike finally moved, backing away the door.
He blindly moved until he hit it with his back.
"Spike...?" Jet immediately looked at Spike, reaching towards him.
Claire also was looking at Spike, eyes red, despite which she looked suprised.
Spike reached for the door handle, and opened the door, before almost spilling outside as if inside of the apartment suffocated him.
He quickly ran several steps, almost falling down, before stopping abruptly at the floor underneath.
"Spike!" he heard Jet call from upstairs.
But Spike didn't respond.
He sank to the floor against a wall, curling on himself.
His chest felt heavy.
He pressed a hand against his mouth, as if to stop himself from breathing so fast.
He felt as if he was stuck underwater.
And unlike normal deep water, he felt like there was no way out.
He pressed his other hand against his mouth, but slowly moved his hands to be pressed against his face instead, covering his eyes.
He gasped once pressure was gone from his lips.
Or was it a sob? He did not know.
He couldn't be Waylen. He was Spike. He was Spike Spiegel. A kid without a past. A kid without a care for his past.
Mao was the closest he had to a father, Vicious was the closest he had to a brother. And Ed was... Ed was the closest person he had to a little sister.
Spike heard loud footsteps above him.
"Spike!" It was Jet. His voice sounded louder, echoed by the stairway's walls.
Spike immediately regretted he didn't hide somewhere.
The footsteps stopped for a brief moment.
"SPIKE!" Jet yelled before running down more steps.
He stopped right in front of Spike, crouching down.
"Spike, what happened?" he asked, voice urgent and alarmed.
He placed his hand on Spike's left shoulder.
"Spike?" he repeated when Spike didn't respond.
"...I'm... sorry..." Spike mumbled, not moving.
"What?" Jet let out, definitely worried.
But Spike could hear Jet finally realize what might've happened.
"It's about that picture, right?" Jet asked carefully.
"...yeah..." Spike barely was able to speak.
He took his hands away from his face, and he saw Jet suddenly frown right when he did it.
"You're shaking..." Jet noticed, taking his hand away.
Spike dropped him hands to the floor below him, as if trying to ground himself.
He has never felt like this before.
But his hand immediately shot back up once one breath sounded... off.
"Spike" Jet immediately reacted, "Come here"
He gently pulled Spike forward, and Spike just... leaned.
Right into an embrace.
He immediately pressed his face against Jet's shoulder, hands wrapped hard against him.
Next sob came out muffled.
Jet slightly gasped at the force with which Spike held onto him, but immediately wrapped him with his hands as well.
"Shhhh..." he whispered as Spike sobbed.
**
**
**
They sat like this for whoever knows how long.
"Jet! Spike!" someone suddenly called from above.
"Where are you?!" it was Faye.
"We're down here!" Jet, turning his head away as possible from Spike, yelled back.
She ran down the stairs.
"Oh woah..." she stopped briefly before running right to Jet.
She crouched right next to him.
"Is he okay?" she asked, clearly worried now.
"No" Jet replied.
Spike pushed away from Jet.
He just realized he has left a wet stain on Jet's clothes.
But he also saw Faye's expression shift into something more serious.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Claire has shown a photo of her family, and the man in it looked a lot like Spike" Jet explained carefully.
"So possible family?" Faye looked at Jet.
"...It was the kid..." Spike mumbled, shaking his head.
"The kid?" Jet looked at Spike again. "What about the kid?"
Before the realization hit him.
"Oh" Jet let out, "OH"
"What is it?" Faye moved herself closer.
"The kid also looked like Spike" Jet looked at Faye, "Like, the resemblance was so uncanny..."
"So" Faye spoke, "do you think there might be a relation between them?"
But before Jet could reply.
"...Yes..." Spike interjected, with a shaky, faint voice.
"What do you think?" Faye asked, looking directly at him with a rather unsure stare.
"I... I need time" Spike hung his head, "to think all over this all..."
Neither Jet or Faye said anything for a good moment.
"We probably should go back" Jet finally said, "they might be worried"
**
**
**
And so, Spike, Faye and Jet, were back in the apartment.
Spike sat on the couch, far away from others.
Jet was standing near, from time to time glancing at Spike as if to make sure the younger man is okay.
Faye was speaking with Claire.
"You definitely would get along well with my niece, Asha, and her brother Anpu" Claire stated with a smile, but it seemed forced.
"Interesting names" Faye responded.
Spike stopped listening in after that.
Instead his gaze dropped down onto his hands.
He knew every line, every wrinkle, by heart, but still watching and tracing them soothed him somehow.
But he got interrupted even before he could start.
"Spike-person!" Ed was suddenly in front of him.
Spike immediately looked up at her.
She was grinning, and she was holding her hand behind her back.
"Ed has something to showww" she immediately took an object from behind her.
It was the dollhouse.
But...
Also not.
Because the figurines were different, now covered by uneven, messy paint, but still recognizable what they were supposed to be.
The dog figurine was now painted to resemble Ein.
The kid figurine was now Ed.
Two of the adult resembling figurines were Jet and Faye.
And the cracked adult figurine...
It was resembling Spike.
Spike picked up that figurine up with shaky hand.
The details were much more fine, clean and the paint was almost entirely perfect despite the crack in the wood.
"Ed made sure it's perfect perfect!" Ed leaned forward slightly. "I hope you like like it!"
"...I-I do" Spike barely could say it.
"Yay!" Ed spun around once, hands high above her.
Spike looked at her again.
Maybe, after all, she was his little sister.
He smiled.
**
**
**
„One passenger sat calmly in a corner there,
And thought: Oh happy he who's swooned amid this hell,
Or prays or knows a man to say the last farewell!”
["The Tempest"/"Burza" A. Mickiewicz, eng. translation]