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Being a programmer in a mediocre company was not one of Zhigang’s life goals. He isn't sure what his life goals were. He never truly had any.
His salary could afford him a small apartment and he was not severely overworked. Never truly the competitive type thus he never was the best at anything. Even now in his small team he was not the leader. Or the best one.
Yet, he was contempt with his life. Or not really. For the past two years something felt not right. As if he was missing something. As if his life was supposed to be something else.
It was weird really. His brain for some reason enjoyed to wander off to his younger days when he was learning swordsmanship from a small place run by one of the neighbors in the small village Zhigang grew up.
The feeling of picking up a sword and slashing at air. The feeling of weight in his arms, the feeling of being strong.
He missed it. But he was not a child anymore and those memories kept resurfacing almost daily which created a certain longing.
Longing of slashing. Of battles he has not fought. Of blood he has not spilled.
It was weird really. Zhigang was passionate about swords, evident by a few of the expensive ones hanging from his walls, but it was never this… it was never longing. It was as if his body was remembering something he had not experienced.
Muscle memory. Muscle memory of slashing through bodies. He has never slashed something besides a chicken and once a pig. But that was not what he was longing for.
He was longing for killing grotesque creatures that existed somewhere outside of his vision. That was the only explanation Zhigang found. The only description he could give to the weird feeling.
But it was not only that. Not just missing something that has never happened.
He was also missions someone.
He could never make out a face. But his heart screamed and bled for this someone whose hands were the only ones allowed to touch his hair besides his oldest sister. Someone who was so beautiful the stars paled in comparison. Someone who was so powerful the grotesque creatures were scared of where as the shadows lurking in the dark bowed before them.
Someone who was by Zhigang’s side, and that someone never failed to make Zhigang smile.
He was going crazy. His mind was playing a trick on him wishing to drive him mad. And it was succeeding. Slowly but surely.
So what Zhigang does? Well goes to the bar to drink like a fish and on the next day be half dead. Perfect plan.
The only sad thing is that he did not have someone to go to the bar with. He had not a lot of friends and most of them were acquaintances at best. His three older sisters might agree but the last thing he wanted was them making fun of him. He loved his sisters but they liked to bully him way too much. The curse of being the youngest in the family.
And while in the bar for some magical reason instead of getting drunk so badly he would fall unconscious he took a few sips and left.
Great, awesome Zhigang. You can’t even drink properly.
‘Ah, the moon is kinda cool tonight…’ he thought to himself looking up at the dimly lit moon and the few clouds constructing it. The lights from the buildings around him shone so bright that no stars could be seen. Shame, really. He misses the view at the night sky from his village.
Ah, now remembering that image of the night sky, specifically the one that was once purple he involuntarily was reminded of that certain "someone" he was not able to remember.
Speaking of that-
With his peripheral vision a man with long black hair made into a single long braid that was reaching his past his belt walked right past Zhigang. Normally, he was not supposed to notice someone. An endless wave of people passing by but for some reason this one person caught his eye.
Unconsciously, almost as if acting on instinct, Zhigang turned around to grab the person by the arm. A man, Zhigang recognized. Despite the long hair it was a man with the face so alluring Zhigang would have jumped into the sea without hesitation if he were to see a siren with such a face.
“Ah-” Zhigang opened his mouth as the realisation just hit him. He had grabbed a random man. A random, very handsome man who looked surprised because of course- Zhigang, the dumbest person on earth, grabbed him and stopped him in the middle of the busy street while probably looking at him with love struck eyes.
But then- something creeped up to him. It was a feeling, a feeling so overwhelming his knees almost buckled.
‘Bloodlust’ his unhelpful mind supplied
‘What??’ it was too late as the "bloodlust" or whatever disappeared and with it the pressure.
Zhigang looked at the man again whose eyes softened just a bit. What a weird person, he gets grabbed by some random dude and stays so calm.
‘Is this what people call "love at first sight"?’ Zhigang wondered as his mouth stood agape looking at the man marveling over his beaty. He was some kind of military uniform- maybe a police uniform? With the badge hanging above his heart. The person’s eyes were filled with… recognition? No Zhigang must have mistaken it. And was it… a slight glint of lilac in the man’s eyes?
Zhigang’s eyes wandered a bit lower to the man’s lips and oh god he needed to kiss them-
“Jinwoo?” The name left his lips involuntarily and Zhigang needed a few seconds to even realize he said something but the feeling that came with saying that name…. It belonged on Zhigang’s tongue. The name should be said in a prayer, with the reverence that came with it.
For a fleeting moment, Zhigang’s constant longing for the "something" subsided as if he finally found the thing he was longing for.
“Jinwoo.” He said once more in a calmer tone but his breath was still taken. Before long, Zhigang’s eyes widened as he hurried to release the death grip he had on the beautiful man. And shit- Zhigang would have wishes he called the man on a date or at least got his number but now all of his chances are diminished. Not like he had a lot of anyway- he was wearing the "I do not give a flying fuck" outfit and his hair was made into a messy bun. Not only that, he had stepped into a person’s personal space and of all things grabbed him.
Honestly, Zhigang is already grateful that he was not punched in the face.
“I am so sorry-” Zhigang started but the man interrupted him.
“How do you remember?” The man questioned his eyebrows furrowed in that cute way, Zhigang had to hold himself back from kissing the space between Jinwoo’s eyebrows-
‘Huh..?’ Why did he called this man "Jinwoo"? Zhigang was certain he has never met the man. He would have remembered someone so handsome.
And wait, Zhigang was never even into man! He has never even considered someone "handsome"! He could recognize people that were supposed to look "handsome" to him but they never quite did it-
“How could I not?” And once again Zhigang’s body, mind and heart betrayed him. He said something while not intending to say it but his unhelpful mind was not cooperating with him. He was already humbling and scrambling to not look like a weirdo and the things he were saying were not helping his case.
“…I expected as much from someone like you.” The man smiled at him but somehow Zhigang did not feel like he deserved such adoring smile.
“Couldn't quite keep the "Seven star hunter" in the darkness for too long eh?” The man quietly chuckled and Zhigang forgot the world existed around them. That there were people walking besides them or that he was probably blocking the way to some.
‘"Seven Star Hunter" has a really nice ring to it…’
“You could never keep me away from you.” And Zhigang’s body acted on it own once more and honestly- he will slap himself on the face later on when he regains his body back but right now-
“Of course, of course. My husband is very persistent, isn't he?” And the word "husband" made Zhigang literally melt. It felt so good to be called Jinwoo’s husband that he wished he called him his once more-
‘You-! Keep yourself together Liu Zhigang! What will your sisters say if they saw you like that !?’ He screamed internally but in a second Jinwoo the man’s face was right in front of him. He felt something really cold land on his face- the man’s hand land on his cheek caressing it so lovingly and Zhigang purred like a cat which- he has never done before.
“I have things to attend to but I will come you later, okay?” The man said and in a blink of an eye the man vanished as if he was never there to begin with.
“Uhhh…?” He involuntarily let out a grumble clearly saddened at the man's departure but in the next second-
“-!” Someone flinched right beside him as Zhigang slapped himself on the face.
He never thought himself to be a lightweight, not really. But it seems that he was.
‘From now on, no alcohol. Never.’ Zhigang nodded as his cheek reddened from the slap he gave himself as the feeling of the man’s touch still lingered on his skin.
The next day, the last thing Zhigang has expected when coming back into his small apartment was seeing the very handsome man sitting on his couch his gloved hand underneath his chin as the man’s eyes were half closed looking at Zhigang.
And for some unknown reason instead of being creeped out or panic Zhigang smiled like the weirdo that he is. He even felt happy at seeing Jinwoo the man again.
“I expected a bit more from your apartment honestly.” The man chuckled and Zhigang noticed his slightly changed appearance. His braid that was neat had now some disheveled strand of hair and his clothes was not the police uniform but instead a black shirt with a black long coat and black jeans. And only now did he noticed that the man had only one glove and it looked kinda hot-
“You don't like it?” And the concept of the man not liking something Zhigang technically was apart of made him so miserable for some reason.
“Nah. I like it. Feels like you.” The man closed his eyes and threw himself back so his upper body hit the couch as if this was his couch. And Zhigang wasn't even mad about it.
“Ah, sorry by the way.” the man said and Zhigang tilted his head in confusion.
“For yesterday. You see Woo Jinchul- you remember him right? The head of the KHA’s surveillance team? Later became the chairman? Anyway he is the head of the police station where i am working now. Also i became a detective if you are interested- which, of course you are- but nevertheless, the reason why i had to leave you yesterday was because i was supposed to deliver some news to a certain someone as one of the fellow policemen. Shortly, a guy was killed during an arrest and i had to go personally to his parents who are in China to deliver the news. Who knew i would ran into you?” the man giggled and it made Zhigang’s heart flutter and his stomach was filled with butterflies as if he was a schoolboy interacting withe his crush.
“No this is- i don’t mind.” Zhigang said breathlessly his cheeks warming. It felt so weird to say stuff he did not mean to say but felt so right.
There was a nice silence between them which allowed Zhigang to regain his consciousness and ask the question he was wondering the whole day and night about.
“Who are you, exactly?” Finally regaining his voice he questioned as the man opened his eyes in confusion.
“You… what?” The man asked and he was so hurt Zhigang’s heart was broken into many small pieces at the sound of the man’s sad voice.
“I mean- you are Jinwoo, right? But like- argh this is so complicated. I don't know you, or I think I don't? Who are you and why do you-” ‘make me feel so complete?’
“… seems like you do not remember me after all.” The man stood up and started walking over to Zhigang his smile fading, withering like a flower cut and left without water to sustain it and the scorching sun above it
“I imagined you would. Not complete memories but at least some to remember the most important bits. It was either you remembered them or nothing at all.” The man his face with this neutral expression, stoic. Normally, he would not be able to decipher more intricate emotions from a stranger’s face but he could do that now. He could see that the man was slightly tense. Hopeful. Lonely.
“You could help me remember.” Zhigang replied and he wanted to pinch himself. What was he saying?
“Oh I certainly could. But do you want me to do it?” The man asked standing up and coming over to the frozen man.
“Pardon?” He blinked, his mind no longer answering on reflex.
“Do you really wish to rember the times of the history that no longer exist? Do you wish to burden yourself for all eternity?”
“Yes” He answered without meaning to once more.
“…haah… why did I expect anything else from my husband.” And it was nice hearing him being called this man’s husband. For him to lay a claim on Zhigang even though they met yesterday.
“You are answering without even meaning to. How typical.” The man came up to him placing his hand on Zhigang’s cheek.
“Nevertheless, welcome back.” The two last words were said in such a weird tone. By a language he did not understand but felt the meaning of. The voice of not just the man before him but from a thousand of thousands of creatures echoed through his mind, welcoming.