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Lena is studying all things pop culture with Nia. It was going fine just until tonight when Alex brought up some concert she wants to attend.
Lena catches the tail end of the conversation, “Oh! I love Hayley Kiyoko,” she butts in.
“She’s brilliant!” She continues clearing the countertop, balancing the last of the cups.
Sam and Alex stare at each other momentarily in a silent disagreement. See, for as long as they’ve known Lena, it’s been up for debate whether or not the woman plays for the other team– the correct team, according to Alex. Sam continuously assures that Lena Luthor is not a lesbian.
“What straight person listens to Lesbian Jesus? Name one!” Alex whisper shouts.
“Uh me, for one-”
“Don’t count, you only started because we live together,” She disqualifies. “Veto.”
Sam rolls her eyes, “Fine; your little sister!”
Alex scoffs, “Kara’s another veto.” She pops another grape in her mouth. “Lived with me in my formative years.”
“You’re insufferable!”
Little by little, Alex has been collecting “evidence” to build her case against the Arias’ firm. Lately, it feels like their new friend is just toying with them for fun. It’s too late to shut down the investigation because of what’s at stake: the gay card. It would be easier to invent time travel than it would to explain the severity of this inquiry. It’s also assuming of you to think that Detective Danvers is alone in this operation. Oh no, there’s a full league on the field. Alex has put together the most elite set of queers to prove her point. In the least stalkerish ways, she’s watched Lena interact with 3 people in class: Winslow Schott, Maggie Sawyer, and Jess Wu. The four of them are in agreement with her sapphic lifestyle, so they’re now fully immersed in this horse shit show.
On the “other side,” Sam Arias was on a mission not to get involved, but she wasn’t about to be proven wrong either. After a few days, the roommates shook on 100 bucks. Since Alex has a team, it’s only fair that Sam gets a team too. Took all of 3 days to get this show on the road. On the left, Sam, Andrea Rojas, James Olsen, and Lucy Lane. Is this an invasion of privacy? Possibly. Should one of them just ask? Definitely. It was settled. Alex and Sam explained the rules:
Can’t ask her
No flirting
Reluctant admittance doesn’t count
Should anyone outright ask, you owe 50 bucks
Three simple rules. Weeks of pure chaos. The silent one-sided dance was getting infuriating, but with Finals just around the corner, they had no choice but to wait it out. On the last day of classes, Kara always hosts a get-together to celebrate the end of another semester, so they had only until then to complete their investigation. A week and change of stupid internet sayings, lectures on “Not everyone who has or does ______ is gay,” and daily texts in the chat that have far too many thoughts to keep track of.
Pursuing friendships didn’t come so easily to the young genius. She was meek and slightly off-putting when it came to socializing. It wasn’t her fault, but she wanted to try to remedy the hand she’d been dealt. On her first night here, Lena sought out the chess club and met Querl, who immediately matched her intellect, if not exceeded it. She enjoyed his company very much, and soon enough, she considered him a friend. He had invited her to a movie but warned her that he’d be bringing two others who were compared to excitable puppies. Kara and his girlfriend, Nia, quickly fell smitten with the young girl. She found Nia a little easier to talk to; she assumes it because she has Querl, who’s also socially inept. Kara talked a lot. Too much. It was giving Lena a headache. Nia had to remind her to slow down with her rapid-fire thoughts. Is this how friends are? She thought.
It took weeks of hanging out before Lena realized that she had a lot more in common with Kara than she initially presumed. The only problem was that Kara was always in the know about some new fad or referenced some older pop culture things from her childhood. Lena was at a loss. She wanted to understand what the hell a “SpongeBob” was and why everything they talked about could be related to the creature. Kara extended the invitation for the end-of-semester gathering to Lena personally. She couldn’t bring herself to say no to those eyes, so now she’s got to brush up on the references. She has a little over a week to at least understand one show reference.
“Yeah, no,” Querl clicked the timer, “Kara and I have an understanding in which she can only reference things I’ve seen, read, or heard of. Otherwise, she has to talk to Nia.”
That’s when she reached out to her. Nia happily agreed to the request; she started with an easy series for Lena to follow. Their pop culture tutoring sessions were put on pause to put all their focus on the last of their exams. As the day got closer, the lack of knowledge was eating her alive. They have gotten halfway through the first season of The Big Bang Theory just as an introduction to sitcoms. She had taken a liking to the actress who plays Penny, Kaley Cuoco.
Which brings us full circle.
Lena walks back over with the empty pizza boxes, Kara on her tail with a trash bag full of clinking beer bottles. Sam and Alex watch them carefully. They move like a well-oiled machine. Now everyone is confused. Sam shares a pointed look when Kara shamelessly flirts (probably oblivious to the fact) with their new friend, but is brushed off.
Alex shoots her roommate a glare, “So Lena,” she starts, “you gonna join us for more of these nights?”
“I mean, if the host doesn’t mind?” She says shyly. Her glance over to the handsome blonde left her pale cheeks flushed. Sam writes it off because they were all drinking not too long ago.
Tonight was the final night of their bet, and both teams were on the edge of their seats. Maggie and Jess tuck themselves away at the far end of the loveseat, quietly waiting to be proven correct. Winn and James lost interest in the bet a while ago, so they are currently on the balcony smoking, awaiting the results. Andrea can’t really be around Kara’s optimism for so long; it nauseates her, so she went home. She unmuted the group chat before leaving to find out. Nia and Querl are in their little love bubble on the other couch, sharing a hushed laughter.
Kara pipes up from the dirty dishes, “Consider this your formal invite to anything we do! Alex is trying to get tickets to see Haley Kiyoko,” she smiles. “Though the concert is like a month away.”
“Oh! She sings?” Lena furrows her brows. “I thought she was solely an actress.”
Sam snickered. “Told you.”
Kara bit back her grin. “What show or movie have you seen her in?”
The panicked expression on Lena’s face eases a bit when she turns her full attention to the blonde. “Is she not the one from – Nia, what was the show we were watching?”
It was fun to watch the weeks of investigating unfold before them.
“The Big Bang Theory,” Querl answered. “I believe the girl you’re referring to is Kaley Cuoco,” he states.
And there it is. Sam jumps in victory! “Ha! I told you she wasn’t gay!” She wags her freshly manicured finger in Alex’s face. So much for not getting involved. Suddenly, all eyes fall on the pair. Kara presses her lips into a thin line. She’s disappointed, as this isn’t the first time those two have done something stupid like this.
Sam seems to realize her mistake, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she rushes.
Alex ducks her head under her younger sister’s stare, “I can explain.”
Winn and James blow their last puffs. Maggie and Jess all but disappear into the room. Kara hates the “are they gay?” game.
“What’s happening?” Nia asks.
Kara plants her fists on her hips, “It seems we're still playing that stupid game. I told you guys to fucking quit it.” She stands between Alex and Sam and swats them both on their arms. She turns back to Lena, “I’m sorry on their behalf. I hope this doesn’t change your wanting to be around us.”
Lena is very confused. Too confused. “Someone please explain. I’m not sure I understand.”
Sam clears her throat, “We were trying to figure out if you were gay without asking you because it’s none of our business.”
“Right so,” Alex continues, “we’ve kept dropping gay terms, people, ideas around you to see if-”
“I took the bait. Right, okay.” Lena finishes flatly.
Kara’s ears are fire engine red right about now. The apartment falls silent until Querl makes a move to leave.
“Well… I had nothing to do with this,” he says, “I’ll see you for chess tomorrow morning. Goodnight.” He and Nia leave together.
A week later everyone gathers in the Danvers/Arias living room. Kara is front and center with a pointer. There is a PowerPoint presentation on the television behind her titled:
“If You’re Unsure, Just Ask!”
Lena finds humor in the group’s embarrassed and annoyed faces. So much so that she decided to grab a cake before finding her way here. Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor are 100% made for each other because on the cake it reads,
“Sex Reveal”
The group did end up going together to that concert. Buncha Homos, I tell ya.