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It was an average day, well as average as a Hollow Family Roadtrip could be. The cousins had decided to take an exciting drive down South while Deacon was on spring break from college. The Keys, including the recently turned human, Buddy, tagged along with them. To avoid heavy traffic, the group decided to drive later in the day to arrive at their destination around 10pm.
Unfortunately, that did not happen. When the car made its way around D.C. the traffic was at a standstill for five hours. They had eaten dinner a couple hours prior to their battle with the spring Virgina heat as they turned the AC on and off to save their precious gas. However, by the time they were closer to their BnB, another bout of hunger had consumed them.
"Ughhhh we're all out of road snacks," Chase groaned, examining the empty bag by his feet. It was true that the peanut butter and chocolate had been consumed within the first half hour while the rest was snacked on before dinner.
"We're almost there. Just hold on a little longer," Deacon insisted, clutching the wheel to fight his own hunger.
"We still have an hour! Too bad there's like nothing open right now. Well, except Waffle House, but you know why we can't go there," Chase said, giving Deacon a pointed glare. Buddy arched brow.
"Do they not have any food that you can consume?"
"Well yeah, but this is a crack fic so it doesn't matter, but the real reason we can't go to Waffle House is because someone just HAD to get himself banned."
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! If that horse hadn't passed by the window-"
"Hold on, Freckles managed to get banished from that establishment?"
"Yeah, and he ruined our only shot at getting food right now because of it."
"What even is a Waffle House anyhow? And why on God's green earth would it be open during these odd hours of the night?" Chase groaned again, already getting hangry.
"I forgot you were like super old-" Buddy interrupted to protest before Chase shushed him, "Waffle House is a chain restaurant down South that is known for waffles, throwing chairs, and being a good indicator for how bad a hurricane is by whether or not they stay open. They're also the only restaurant in a thirty mile radius that is open at 2am."
"If they are known for throwing chairs, then how on earth did Freckles get banished?"
"Well…. It's a long story…"
Suddenly the world around them grew all wavy as they transitioned into a flashback scene because the author of this fic was too lazy to find a divider and thought this was a funny alternative.
Small child Chase Hollow and slightly less small child Deacon Hollow stood at the counter of Waffle House waiting for not a child Beth Hollow to order. They were on a family trip to the beach and decided to snag some waffles on the way.
Today was a special day in whatever town the Waffle House was in, some nowhere land off the exit from the highway, there was a parade carving through the streets that would make it hard to get back onto the interstate, but not for the reason you might think.
A herd of decorated horses trotted down the street making their way past the Waffle House. Small Deacon turned towards the window in awe, transfixed by the majestic creatures. One of the horses locked eyes with him and began to deviate from the path of the parade.
The other horses followed, encroaching on the Waffle House. Their riders were booted off as they began to gallop at startling speeds towards the window. Hooves clopped against the pavement. Deacon thought his dreams were coming true.
The thick glass of the Waffle House window stood no chance against the herd of angry horses. The four-legged creatures ransacked the place chasing after small child Deacon Hollow, who thought they were trying to play.
Eventually the family managed to escape, but not before the sign was hung up with Deacon's photo, banishing from all Waffle Houses for life.
"Wait, if they banned you when you were a child, who's to say they would even recognize you? That photograph is outdated is it not?"
"Wait, yeah you're right! Who's to say they'd know I'm the same guy? Let's go get waffles!"
The car screeched into the Waffle House parking lot and everyone disembarked. The three humans and multitude of keys walked into the building and approached the counter to make their order. Guests were tackling each other. Chairs were thrown. Someone pleaded at the counter if they could just get a waffle. Eventually it was there turn. The cashier looked up at them and looked eyes on Deacon.
"Sorry sir, we're gonna have to ask you to leave."
"Wuh? Why?"
"You're banned from Waffle Houses for life," the lady behind the counter said, pointing to the wall where a photo of when Deacon walked into the establishment just moments ago was pasted on the wall.
"How the fu-"
"Oh, ma'am I think you're mistaken! This isn't Deacon Hollow, this is my horse, Boris!" Chase stated. Buddy groaned at his idiocy. The cashier narrowed her eyes.
"He's a very strange looking horse."
"He, uh, gets that a lot, but I promise he's harmless!"
"Ok then. What can I get yall?"
"Do you have anything gluten-free?"
"This is a Waffle House. The only thing gluten-free are the little jam containers at the table."
"Okay, well can I get like a zillion of those? And some waffles for everyone else?" The lady nodded and the waffles appeared at a table set just for them, complete with tiny plates for the Keys.
"Chase? How did they know about my siblings?" Chase shrugged, already on his fifth packet of jam.
Deacon spared a glance outside the window to be met with reflective eyes.
"Um… guys?"
"Yeah?"
"I think we're being watched…"
Outside the restaurant window, a herd of horses stood eerily calm in comparison to the commotion within the building.
"Just keep your head down, Dorkin, and maybe they'll leave."
Deacon cowered under the table, pulling his plate of waffles with them. Ominous clopping crept closer to the window, pausing right before the glass. The horse looked around, pausing at their table momentarily, before deciding it had seen enough.
Once the horses left, they grabbed to-go boxes and high-tailed it out of there. Never once did they set foot in Waffle House ever again.
"Man, I got banned from Waffle House, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."
