Chapter Text
It had been three months since Regina Mills had woken up in a jail cell after being found passed out on the side of the road. When she had asked what had happened to her and why she was being held in a police station, the cops had informed her that she had been found unconscious on the side of road in the middle of nowhere by a couple who had been camping in the woods nearby. When she told the local sheriff that she had no explanation as to why she had ended up in that position, he revealed to her that when they had found her she had smelled strongly of a mix of booze and cigarettes and that they had found an enormous amount of what looked like cocaine in her pockets, hence the jail cell.
“Seems like you had one hell of a party to yourself” the sheriff remarked with hints of both sarcasm and disappointment in his voice.
When Regina asked if she was to be let go soon as she assured the cops she had no idea where the drugs from and that she hadn't taken anything of the sort before, the sheriff promised that once his officers had done a full sweep of her apartment and found that there was nothing else to implicate her in the world of drug dealing, she was free to go. She had given her address willingly, a small and slightly run-down apartment in the quiet town near the police station as she swore she had nothing to hide. The sheriff, seemingly noticing how distressed Regina was about the whole situation, tried to comfort her.
“Hey lady, if what you say is true and you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to worry about. You don't seem like the type anyways, I’ve had run ins with many drug dealers in my years and you? Don't really fit the profile”
She wasn't exactly sure what he was trying to get at and at one point she was sure there was some sort of dig in there somewhere, but she appreciated the gestured all the same. It was then that she realised she was wearing some sort of flashy, expensive looking pantsuit that didn't seem like her usual style at all and she was almost one hundred percent sure she never even owned anything of the sort but of all the things that had happened to her today, this was definitely not the strangest.
True to her word her little apartment was clean, and she was later discharged with nothing but a small fine to her name. She apologised profusely to the old sheriff for any hassle she had caused him and thanked him for his kindness before making her way back to her quiet, uneventful life.
It had been 3 months since Regina Mills’ life had turned to shit. It felt that ever since that day she was cursed to a life where she was constantly screwed over and miserable and every memory from before her night in the jail cell had become increasingly fuzzy. Little did this version of Regina know, she was cursed. Swept away from her family and her life as she knew it with no memory of Storybrooke or her son or any of her past. Every day she woke up with an aching emptiness in her chest that hurt more than the day before. She was sure that someday that was all she would become. Nothing but a vessel full of pain just going through the motions. Regina had tried to piece together the day before she was found on the side of the road but all she could remember was taking a walk down by the lake near the woods where she lay unconscious with no clue as to where the alcohol or drugs could have possibly came from. She didn't even smoke.
The only time Regina ever truly felt relief was when she slept and when she slept, she dreamed. She dreamt of magic and hope. A life of adventure and a dysfunctional family who loved her which felt all too real, but when she woke every morning, she was met with the same crushing reality that these were all just dreams. Childish dreams that had no place in her dull, miserable life. But there was something else in these dreams too, someone else. A face she couldn't quite make out and as she regained consciousness each morning all she could remember were long blonde curls and eyes green like how the northern lights would look if they were put up against a deep blue sky. No matter what the dream included and how different each adventure was, the same woman starred in almost every single one.
Something else Regina had noticed about her dreams was that when she had dreams without the mysterious blonde, they would very much mirror the feeling of misery and loneliness that she felt in her everyday life. However, when the figure is the introduced, the dream immediately brightens and she then feels nothing but warmth and safety in her presence. She sometimes wonders if this is what love feels like.
For as long as Regina can remember, she had been alone. Her family had died when she was so young that she doesn't even remember who they were and as far as friends go, she'd never been the most sociable person in the world. She had had a few friends throughout high school but after she had left, they'd all moved on with their lives and had forgotten about her. Despite being beautiful she’d never had much luck in the way of love either aside from a few boyfriends here and there. She would never describe any of her relationships with men as love. They felt more like a chore, something she had to do to seem more “normal” in the eyes of those around her. If she was being honest with herself, she had never really felt anything for men. Not the way she felt about women, especially the one who visited her as she slept. Was it possible to be in love with someone who didn't even exist?
Sometimes when she thinks about it for too long, she can't really recall ever getting those dreams before her night in the jail cell. To be honest, she didn't really remember much of her life before that day in general. Everything kind of just felt like a huge blur. And the clearer memories that she did have sometimes felt as though they didn't really belong to her, that although she did remember them it doesn't feel like they really happened. Regina was sure that if she tried to explain it to a professional that they would be able to give her a full explanation as to why she felt that way but she's not so sure that she would believe them. So she went about her life doing her best to ignore the way she felt deep down and continued to go through the motions the way she assumed everyone else around her did.
She would sometimes feel embarrassed by how excited she would feel to go to sleep and dream. Dream of a life where she did have a family and people who loved her. Where she fought against evil with the beautiful blonde who was always by her side and travelled to new, fascinating realms each night. But she didn't care. This is what kept her sane, from going off the rails completely. It's not like she had anyone to judge her for it anyway. She was alone.
Tonight Regina dreamt of something new. She was on a rooftop in the middle of the strange town that often appeared in these dreams. The sun was beginning to set and she was in a fancy dress with people all around her. A party, she thinks. She feels herself settle in a chair beside a teenage boy who she believes in her son in her dreamland. She always wanted a child. Everything around her is beautiful and bright, joy surrounds her. However, she has a sinking feeling in her stomach this time. She can't quite place why just yet. Absentmindedly, she looks around for a familiar head of blonde hair feeling disappointment when she can't seem to find her. The music stops, the conversation dies down and all heads turn to the entrance of the rooftop. Regina finds who she is looking for.
The blonde is dressed in a floor length white gown and Regina is hit with a wave of realisation as to where she is and why. A wedding. Not just any wedding but the wedding of the woman she loves. Her stomach tightens as she watches with a plastered-on smile, trying to look happy for her friend on her big day. She watches her and a dark haired man stand side by side at the altar. As the blonde begins to say her vows, she turns her head and looks directly into Regina’s eyes. Her breath catches and Regina has to look away before her face can betray her true feelings. The blonde's eyes find the floor before she continues what she has started. Just before Regina can hear the couple say their “I do’s” the dream fades away.
Reginas eyes snap open and as though she’d had a nightmare, her body pulls her upright.
“Emma...” Regina whispered into the darkness.
Before her brain could catch up to what had happened, Regina had fallen back asleep. She does not dream this time. When she wakes the next morning, she has no memory of waking up during the night. She has no memory of how the strength of her emotions while watching Emma get married again almost woke her up from a curse that she is completely oblivious to. All she is aware of is the sinking feeling in her chest that she feels each morning as she wakes up. As if on autopilot, she walks to the bathroom to clean up and gets dressed for the day. She prepares herself to relive what felt like the same day all over again. She pulls on a simple pair of jeans, and the brand assigned uniform t-shirt for her boring retail job located only a few blocks from her apartment and off she goes.
Her day is the same as always. She hates her job. She would try to change but this is the longest she had ever kept a job as for some reason she can't seem to hold on to them. She always finds herself being fired even though she is sure she's done nothing wrong. So she chooses not to risk it. Once again, she gets ready for bed excited for what new adventures may await her in her dreamland except this time, she doesn't dream. As she sleeps, she sees nothing but darkness. In fact, the dream of the mysterious blondes wedding was the last dream Regina ever had. Even if she tried, Regina doesn't think she would ever be able to describe the pain and emptiness she felt after waking up from nothingness. Waking up from her dreams had been disappointing yes, but waking up from no dream? That was a type of pain she was in no way prepared for. It was as though she’d lost her hope. Her only method of escape from this miserable life had left her just like everything else. So she drank.
Regina drank and drank just to feel something other than complete numbness and as she drank, she would watch all sorts of fantasy movies to attempt to replicate the feeling she would get from her dreams. But someone was missing from every one she watched. Nothing she tried could ever make Regina feel the way she did. She needed her back.
Regina returned home from work that day and went about her now normal routine of cracking open a bottle of whisky and finding a new fairytale themed film to watch. This time she decided on Snow White and The Seven Dwarves. She wasn't sure why, she had never really liked the film growing up and for as long as she could remember, Snow White was her least favourite of the famous princesses but there was something drawing her to watch it on this particular night. As she pressed play and took a big swig of her bottle, she heard a knock on the door. It was quiet, for a moment she thought she had made it up. No one ever knocked on her door. But then it came again, this time a little louder. She paused her tv placing the remote and bottle on the table next to her raggedy couch and cautiously headed towards the door.
Before opening the door, she looked through the small peephole to be careful and saw a stranger with a red leather jacket and long blonde hair standing in the hallway. She slowly opened the door which caught the woman's attention, and she turned to Regina with a bright smile. Reginas breath caught the moment she looked into the stranger's eyes. They were a beautiful bluey-green colour that she recognised immediately from her dreams. Despite the smile on the woman's face, Regina could see an almost desperate sadness in them that she couldn't quite understand.
“Hi! My names Emma Swan. I'm your new roommate.” smiled the woman.
Regina didn't answer immediately. That didn't make any sense; she wasn't looking for a roommate. She’d thought about it a couple of times every once in a while, with the hope that another person living in her spare room could possibly drown out the silence in her life, but she had never actually got round to doing anything about it.
“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong address.” Regina replied as she began to close the door.
Emma reached out a hand to stop her and pushed the door back open just enough so Regina could see her. She handed Regina a sheet of paper.
“No this is definitely the right place, here.” Emma urged and motioned to the paper now in Reginas hands.
She was right. Emma had all the correct paperwork to state that she was to move in to the apartment that day. She wasn't sure how this could have happened as she certainly never approved it. Her immediate reaction was to the papers back in Emma's face and tell her to get the hell out but before she could she looked up and oh those eyes. She didn't know why but every cell in her body just couldn't refuse the stranger before her. What was there to lose anyway, it's not like her life could get much worse. Maybe it would add something new to her repetitive days. Give her someone to talk to that wasn't a nagging customer or a polite neighbour.
“Welcome.” was all Regina could manage, giving Emma a tight smile as she stood to the side to let her past.
Emma's face lit up immediately and regina couldn't help but feel a warmth in her chest as the blonde's eyes filled with appreciation. That was something she hadn't felt in well, she actually couldn't remember the last time her chest didn't feel anything but tight and heavy. Emma immediately started excitedly chatting about how the rest of her things would be arriving the next day and about how much fun they were going to have together. Regina showed Emma to her new room and Emma set what stuff she had with her down before taking a look around. Regina had to stifle a smile at how hard her new roommate was trying to hide her initial reaction to the small and clearly unused bedroom, but she appreciated Emma trying to appear grateful. Emma appeared to notice the woman's hidden amusement.
“I’ve lived in smaller places” she shrugged and turned back to her belongings.
“I know it's not the nicest apartment in the world but it's all we’ve got it seems. We can figure it out as we go.” Regina replied.
“Yeah! It's gonna be great.” Emma smiled softly but in the back of her mind she was screaming “if only you knew.”
Every time Emma looked at her, her face was riddled with familiarity. It was as though Emma knew her and hadnt just met her only moments ago, yet Regina had no idea who this woman was. Well, aside from the fact that her eyes looked identical to the eyes she used to dream of every night until recently, but she pushed those thoughts from her mind and helped Emma get settled for the night. Once everything was done, Regina was ready to settle back on the couch to finish the movie she had started that afternoon until she heard a door creek open and timid footsteps heading towards her.
“Whatcha watching?” Emma asked as she found a spot on the sofa next to Regina.
She cringed at the thought of telling someone she just met that she was watching an animated kids movie but figured that if they were going to be living together, Emma would have to find out at some point that she watched fairytales religiously.
“Uhm, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” she replied, her voice nervous.
Emma's jaw dropped and she didn't quite know how to react. She snorted loudly at the absurdity of it all.
“Aint fate a bitch” she whispered to herself.
Realising the offended look on Reginas face she quickly tried to come up with ways to defend her reaction. All she could think of was that it was her parent's favourite movie as a kid and that Snow White and Prince Charming reminded her of them sometimes.
“My mom always told me that I looked like I could be their daughter” Emma giggled. She did not bring up the evil queen in fear of not being able to keep herself together if she did. She missed her best friend. A lot. Even sitting right there with her, it obviously wasn't the same. Regina didn't know who she was.
“Really? I always thought Snow White was quite irritating.” Regina grunted.
Emma barked out a laugh at that statement. It was crazy how curses worked sometimes.
“Mind if I join you?” Emma asked shyly.
Regina thought for a moment then gave Emma a hum in response before turning back to the screen. Emma smiled softly at her before doing the same. Regina could feel Emma looking at her sometimes throughout the movies, specifically whenever the Evil Queen was on screen but for now, she decided to keep the peace and ignore it. The movie ended and the two women said their goodnights before heading to their own bedrooms.
In her first moments alone since Emma had walked in and disrupted her life, Regina took a deep breath and let the events of the day wash over her. They hit her almost immediately. She had let a complete stranger move into her apartment for no reason other than the colour of her eyes. She silently kicked herself for being so stupid before heading to her bathroom to get ready for bed.
“It's all gonna be good, you'll see.” She whispered to herself in an effort to ease her mind before closing her eyes letting sleep find her.
And this time as she slept, the dreams returned but this time the mysterious blonde had a name and a face to her. This dream was one she’d had before, one from the beginning. One of a stranger arriving on her doorstep, disrupting her life and ultimately turning it upside down.