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He was shocked when Shane asked him to speak at their rehearsal dinner. When Shane and Ilya had opted to go against any wedding party- he’d assumed there would be no speeches. Or that it would be impromptu ones from the handful of guests that were coming to the ceremony. So Shane’s request both shocked and humbled him. Shane had always said he’d be his best man on his wedding day, but he had given up on there even being a wedding day when he’d come out as gay. Not because he didn’t think Ilya and Shane were serious about each other- perhaps they were a bit too serious- but because they may just never feel like they could in his lifetime. And that tore at his heart- for both of his boys.
He looked down at his index cards, his careful notes. Sometimes he envied Yuna’s ability to just speak from her heart. He cared, so much, about these boys and he wanted to get this right. He wanted them to know that even when they were in the depths of hiding from the world- he’d seen them. He’d seen them for exactly who they were and loved them the whole time.
Yuna gently elbowed him and he stood. This was nothing like leading a meeting at his work, as the eyes of many of the MLH’s premiere players landed on him- along with a smattering of other very well connected people throughout the entertainment world. He could not believe that these were his son’s dearest friends after everything they’d gone through when he was a boy.
“Hello- I think everyone knows this- but in case you don’t. I’m David Hollander, Shane’s father and if you ask my future son-in-law- where my son gets his ‘boring’ from. He’s not wrong on that count. And I normally give very boring talks about financial trends in Canada, but I think analyzing trends makes me fairly observant.
“I worried about Shane- like any father does. I worried about friends, I worried about his life outside of hockey, I worried about the injuries I knew would come, and I worried if he’d ever find love. If he’d ever find that someone that got him, that was just his person. Then I went to grab my charger from his house one summer day and everything changed.
“Ilya Rozanov walked into our home that day- terrified out of his mind- but there for my son. In the span of a couple of hours- I knew that Ilya was it for Shane and that Shane was it for Ilya. And I found a new worry- would they ever be able to just be themselves? Would they have to give up parts of their lives to have each other? Would hiding away who they cared about destroy what they had?
“So I watched. I observed. And I hoped that the love I saw in our kitchen that day would stand the test of time. I hope all of you will bear with me as- I want to regale you about three moments when I got to see their love shine through in a world that I know wanted this to fail. Wanted this to end.
“Ilya’s last season in Boston- I walked into Shane’s apartment and found the calendar on his fridge. A full hockey season on display- like normal. What wasn’t normal was the new color coding. Home games, away games, practices, and now these two new categories. Innocuous to anyone else- especially if they didn’t know Shane’s system. But something that stood out like a sore thumb if you know Shane- if you know what it takes for him to change his habits. And as I stood there and tried to decode the new categories it hit me- long weekends. Days without practice. Times when Boston and Montreal would overlap in another city for a night. Flights and train rides and a schedule to get time together. Purposefully planned to optimize whatever time they could steal away. Shane had turned his planning and preparation skills onto something other than hockey- for the first time ever- and I knew that those plans would trump everything. Extra practice. Sleep. In season rituals. They were all going to go to hell if they messed with the plan. The plan for the two of them to actually be together- in the way that they could. I thought we’d see changes once Ilya was in Ottawa, when Shane could drive back and forth any night of the week- but it started then. It started the moment that they agreed that denying how much they cared was no longer an option.
“Skip a couple of years ahead. Another summer off- weeks upon weeks at their cottage. I get an SOS text from Ilya. Shane’s preferred base layer is being discontinued along with another half dozen items that Shane regularly uses from Under Armor. Having lived through Shane being forced to change these items in the past- I knew the panic. I’ve lived that panic with my son over a dozen times. Every hockey player in this room has gone through this and we’ve all adapted. We’ve bought something close, but there’s still that brand that we wish was available. What I did not expect was the plan from Ilya. He’d already bought out the stock online in Shane’s size- which was barely enough to get through that season. So he asked if we could go to every sporting goods store in the city to see what was available. In Ottawa. In a town where he’d get mobbed by fans and haters within minutes of each other. I brought up that I could take a look and only got a ‘I’ll be there in five text’. We spent the next five hours digging through racks and pulling together everything that we could. I also caught the nearly continuous text messages and then found out that Ilya hadn’t just recruited me. He’d messaged his friends across the league- some of whom were equally frantic- and others who were now on the hunt to find gear and send it to him, one who was sponsored by Under Armour and reached out to see if there was any way to get special runs of that gear- and got a firm no. Every favor he had was called in and I couldn’t really understand it. So I asked. And I’ll never forget the look Ilya gave me- like this was normal. Like this was exactly what you did for someone you loved. Like moving heaven and earth for the right hockey gear was a love language that I should speak- because my son is Shane Hollander and the right hockey gear is non-negotiable. And he didn’t just give Shane all of it as it came in, instead- he’s meticulously replaced items as they’ve worn out. He worked out a system with Hayden to get new gear to him from the stockpile whenever something started to wear out. I know of more than a dozen late night runs from Ottawa to Montreal to just drop off gear and then sprint back for a flight out. Shane- there’s an entire box still in our garage and even more at Ilya’s house- sorry to spoil the myth of this being the singular best pair of base layers you’ve ever bought. I thought today was a good day for you to find out how loved you are- in even the smallest of ways.
“The last moment- was only a couple of days ago. I originally wrote something about the night Shane proposed. About getting pictures of various rings and the thought and the details. About doing something that was special for both of them- about making a memory that mattered. Then I got sent vows- by both of them- to proofread. I’m not telling any of you what the vows are- that’s for tomorrow. I will tell you that I cried for a solid hour and a half as I corrected grammar and read through the snippets that they love most about each other. The things that got them here- in a room with all of their favorite people- prepared to dedicate themselves to each other forever. 15 years. 15 years of memories and moments and souls intertwining. Of love being what centered them, what made them grow, what pushed both of them to be better for themselves and for each other. I can’t wait until all of you get the chance to hear what I’ve read and see their love story in person- for perhaps the first time.
“Boys- I love you. And I wish you a lifetime of happiness. The kitchen table is now yours- as our wedding gift to you. The bravery you both showed that first day is what got you here and I couldn’t be prouder of who you have grown into today.”
He tucked away his index cards, glanced over at Yuna who gave him an easy smile. He moved back to their table and was immediately assaulted by the tightest hug he’d ever gotten from Ilya and then felt Shane join them. Both of them were quiet- Ilya he knew from being overwhelmed and Shane because that was just Shane. As he pulled back and cupped the back of their heads- locking eyes with each of them in turn- he poured the fatherly love he had for them into his gaze. He never knew that this was what his life would be, but he knew that he was meant to be exactly here- for the two men that were brave enough to finally love each other out loud.