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Saying that the situation on Coruscant was chaotic would be a compliment.
A bomb detonated on top of them again, shaking the grounds of the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home), the Jedi Temple. Cracks formed on the light-colored marble, and dust fell over the few people still there.
By the sounds of debris falling, Obi-Wan estimated that they had lost one of the Council spires.
There were some whimpers behind him with the last of the Creche clans to be evacuated exuding their fear into the Force.
The young padawan turned to them with a smile, summoning all the confidence he could.
"It's ok, nevi padibibli(little ones. It's in a more cute way than just "initiates" in the plural form). We're almost there."
Ten tearful pairs of eyes stared at him, lips trembling and faces pale.
"You're all so brave," he complimented them, extending his hand for the closest one to hold.
Even amidst that disaster and even with them being so loud and undisciplined in the Force, Obi-Wan meant what he said.
The oldest of the clan was five; the youngest, barely three.
Just the fact that they weren't panicking, but listening and following a junior padawan of all people, was a huge blessing of the Force.
The closest to Obi-Wan, a tiny Human named Reva, held his extended hand.
(Even if her little fingers were trembling, the padawan felt way more at peace holding that specific initiate's hand. There was no time for him to think too deeply about it, but he hoped he could give her just a little bit of calm and serenity).
They formed a small buddy system, with Obi-Wan and Reva being the leaders of the group.
Obi-Wan knew they had to be faster. He knew. But he was fairly certain that hurrying up would cause panic, and he wasn't strong enough yet to carry all ten of them on his own, either physically or on the Force.
They continued ahead, going downstairs. Towards the lowerdeck hangar on the Coruscant layer just beneath the Temple.
The evacuation point.
It was hard not to let fear dominate him, especially while having to keep himself so open in the Force.
It hurt.
It hurt not just because of the attack on the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home), not just because of all the deaths of the Jedi who were doing their best to defend the building long enough so their young could evacuate.
No.
A Sith was leading the assault.
A presence so vile and cold it hurt just by being near it and open in the Force.
(Obi-Wan was doing his absolute best to ignore the fact that, although that Force-Presence was now frosty, it was terribly familiar).
Through their Jaieh-Padawan(master-student, master-padawan) bond, master Qui-Gon was doing his best to shield his padawan from the worst of it. Obi-Wan could feel him, floors above where he was, not fighting, at least not yet. But there was no time to figure out what his jaieh(master, teacher) was doing in the evacuation process.
Another bomb exploded.
There was no sound of debris this time. It could be because they were too low to hear it, but Obi-Wan believed that, at least this time, the anti-artillery defenses held.
It didn't stop the structure from shaking again, nor was it good for the small younglings with him.
There were more whimpers.
A little boy started to hiccup, tears running down his face.
His pair held him tightly, even if her lips were quivering and a few tears ran down her face.
Beside Obi-Wan, Reva was also silently crying. Her chin trembled, and she was holding the padawan's hand so tight it hurt.
But she kept looking ahead. Big brown eyes watered, but stayed fierce.
Obi-Wan squeezed her hand a little, intertwining their fingers, making her look at him.
He smiled again, desperately trying to channel the calm his master always had.
He knew he wasn't doing a good job at that. He did it anyway.
"Trust the Force, little Reva. It's with us always."
"H-how do you know?" she asked in a whisper.
All eyes were on him.
"I know it because I can feel it."
"But it's cold!" More tears ran down her face.
"I know, nev padibibli kat fehl(little one of mine. A cute way to say "my initiate"). But in the cold, in the dark, there's always a light to guide us."
She was still fearful, but seemed to accept his words.
They proceeded carefully through the familiar empty corridors.
The Temple defenses seemed to have held enough, so there was no need for Obi-Wan to fight in the lower levels.
A few stairs more, and there was a small gasp.
"I can feel it, padawan Obi-Wan!" Reva said, her young force presence filling up with hope and joy.
He stretched his senses a little bit more (still avoiding that cold, familiar bond) and found out what she was talking about.
They were close enough that, even with the toxic miasma of the Sith polluting the Force, it was possible to feel the presence of Jedi underneath them.
With a smile, he nodded at her.
"That's right, dear heart." he looked behind him, giving the other a similar smile. "Stay together with me, nevi padibibli(little ones. It's in a more cute way than just "initiates" in the plural form). We're almost there, but let's keep focus."
Through tears, he got serious nods from his group of younglings.
It was really a miracle of the Force that he was capable of keeping ten toddlers focused until the lowerdeck hangar. However, the moment Reva saw the Mikkan Jedi Master at the ramp of one of the last ships still there, she gasped again, letting go of Obi-Wan's hand and running.
(It bothered him to let her go, but Obi-Wan knew that it was for the best, for her own well-being. It was still a little painful).
The master took Reva tackling her in stride, even when the little initiate started to cry almost uncontrollably in her arms. The padawan guided the other nine until the shuttle, and all of them started to cry once the other Jedi came out to pick them up.
The Jedi Master had held Reva and was now trying to calm her down while she bawled her eyes out.
"It's ok, little Reva. I've got you. It's ok."
Obi-Wan let out a small sigh of relief.
Mission accomplished. His younglings were safe.
However, he couldn't relax. Not yet.
He had to find his jaieh(master, teacher).
The Force was pulling him up, back to where the main attack was happening, to where master Qui-Gon was. (It was also closer to the Sith, and Obi-Wan got goosebumps in his arms from that malignant presence).
But even if the Force wasn't summoning him there, Obi-Wan would never abandon his master like that.
He started to turn, set on running all the way up again, when the Jedi Master interrupted him.
"Padawan, where are you going?"
Obi-Wan tightened his jaw, body still tense.
"I have to find my master."
"No, padawan. You must come with us. It's too dangerous."
The padawan took a step away from the ship.
"I won't leave without my jaieh(master, teacher)! He's still there!"
There was no need for him to explain how he knew that. After all, all Jedi know the depths of a Jaieh-Padawan(master-student, master-padawan) bond, how deep the connection was. Most padawans would only leave without their masters if either the padawan was incapacitated and dragged away, or if the master was dead.
The master clenched her jaw, her tendrils moved in agitation. It was very clear that she was not pleased with leaving such a young padawan behind.
However, the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home) shook again, with more dust from the cracked marble falling on them and with all the little children flinching.
Time was running out, and that last explosion seemed to have made the decision for the Master.
She took a deep breath, giving the Force her fears and doubts.
"Be careful. Trust the Force."
"I will."
Obi-Wan gave little Reva, who was looking at him in between her own hiccups, a last smile. His chin quivered a little with that smile, but he did his best to project calm and serenity with his expression and in the Force.
"May the Force be with you. Always."
Her wide brown eyes were the last thing he saw as Obi-Wan turned around and ran.
Without having to guide his nevi padibibli(little ones. It's in a more cute way than just "initiates" in the plural form), Obi-Wan could go faster, using the Force to jump over debris or over entire sets of stairs. His own shields were a little more raised, since now he could use subterfuge and the secret passages.
(Even if it was just a frail and almost one-sided pair-bond, the link he had with the Sith got colder when he raised his mental defenses. A reaction of angry frostbite. The padawan considered if he should cut the connection, destroy that bond they had from before the Sith Fell to the Darkside. However, that could result in backlash, and Obi-Wan didn't have time to deal with that. His master needed him.)
As he got up and up again, more destruction was seen.
Parts of the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home) had collapsed.
New hazards and obstacles made of the broken pieces of their Temple, of their home.
At a certain point, Obi-Wan had to run close to the training salles when a new explosion rocked the building.
He had to stop while the structure shook, and, in doing so, he saw it.
The Sabermasters' mosaic.
A beautiful piece made of colorful glass, delicate little pieces combine one by one until a beautiful drawing of seven masters was made. But although the material was the same, the styles couldn't be more different, as each master was made in a different moment in time.
Each one of them was of the master who created one of the seven lightsaber forms.
One of the explosions had cracked the mosaic; another had made it collapse; and a third, the one that stopped Obi-Wan on his tracks for a few seconds, broke the padawan's heart.
He was very young when it happened, but Obi-Wan remembered when the last one, Master Windu, creator of the Seventh Form, Vaapad, was added to the Saber's Pantheon.
Now, the seven masters laid cracked on the floor, the glass of the mosaic scattered where the stone had broken.
Obi-Wan's heart was heavy seeing jaieh(master, teacher) Windu's head cleaved from his neck, the purple of the mosaic lightsaber shattered around the broken master. The light of the setting sun made it all look a little too red.
The padawan pushed his pain to the Force as he started running again. There was no time to mourn the lost artwork (and Obi-Wan prayed that the broken mosaic wasn't a bad Omen).
By now, Obi-Wan could sense the ugly marks of death again, of his fallen brothers and sisters, the Jedi Guards who died defending the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home) before the Council was able to turn on the massive shields.
He wished he could honor the fallen Jedi, but there was no time.
He had to continue running. He was almost there.
Another explosion shook the Temple.
Part of the ceiling collapsed, and it was just because of the Force's warning that the padawan dodged it on time.
He still got a nasty bump on his head. His vision blacked out for a moment, and Obi-Wan needed to lean on a wall not to fall to the ground.
The dust of destruction made him cough, and the bump brought tears to his eyes.
The helplessness of the situation just added to his wish to curl up and cry.
However, he took deep breaths.
Almost there.
His jaieh(master, teacher) needed him.
It was with great relief that he saw master Qui-Gon and the remaining Jedi in the main atrium. They were mostly some of the Guards, half of the Council, and a couple of masters and knights. A few of them were kneeling beside the open panel of the emergency turbolift, the one that would take them all the way down to the lower levels of the Temple. They all gathered around a hover crate carrying a large pink kyber.
Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon turned to him as soon as he sensed his padawan approaching, his eyebrows raised.
"What are you doing here, padawan?" master Micah Giiett asked with eyes wide and a frown.
"I came to help!"
"You should have gone with the evacuating ships!" master Mace Windu's tone was hard.
Obi-Wan looked at master Qui-Gon for a brief moment before replying.
"I'm not abandoning my jaieh(master, teacher)!"
Before another counselor could argue, master Qui-Gon chuckled and put his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, rubbing his thumb in a comforting manner.
"Raise your hand if your own padawan wouldn't leave you no matter what."
"It's still too reckless!" jaieh(master, teacher) Micah practically shouted.
Master Qui-Gon turned to him.
"You had to almost knock your own padawan out so she would leave in one of the early ships, Mimi."
"It doesn't mean that I liked it, Kiki!"
"Boys, no fighting," master Jocasta Nu interrupted them with a stern glare while keeping her hand on the hovering crystal.
"What's done is done." Jaieh(master, teacher) Windu massaged his forehead, "And the elevator is almost functional again. We won't be here for long."
Holding his padawan's shoulder more firmly (the master's hand was a comforting weight to Obi-Wan at that moment), jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon added with good humor.
"Besides, it might be useful to have my padawan with us to defend the Ochlyth(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator)."
Master Windu's left eye twitched.
"Did you just suggest using your own padawan as a sentient shield?"
"I mean, he's already here anyway…"
Before jaieh(master, teacher) Windu got too angry, Obi-Wan intervened.
"And I volunteer! I'll defend this kyber with my life!"
It didn't seem to help, and master Windu glared daggers at master Qui-Gon.
"I hate to agree with Qui-Gon," jaieh(master, teacher) Nu chimed in, "but of all people, padawan Obi-Wan is a Force-sent to the task."
She turned to the padawan.
"With one caveat, padawan." she pointed to a couple of runes in a paper attached to the crystal. "If the Sith get too close, you must destroy it at any cost."
Obi-Wan blinked in confusion.
"I don't understand…"
"This is the Ochlyth Kaiber(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator kyber), the Wayfinder Life Crystal. It has the names and places of birth of all Force-Sensitives in the Galaxy. Only one of those exists at a time, and it always lasts for a full century."
"This one was found only 20 years ago," an Archivist Knight in the group added.
Master Nu nodded.
"The Sith cannot put their dirty hands on it. Do you understand, Obi-Wan?"
Wide-eyed, the padawan nodded.
Master Qui-Gon squeezed his shoulder again, getting the padawan's attention.
"And, Obi-Wan, if it gets to it, I want you to do as Jocasta said, and then you run."
The padawan gasped.
"But what about you, jaieh(master, teacher)?" he looked around to the group, blue eyes wide, "What about all of you?"
His master's expression was serious. At the same time, his Force-Presence enveloped Obi-Wan's tightly, full of affection and worry.
"After the Ochlyth(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator), this Sith in particular will go after you specifically. If it comes to it, I want you to run. We'll hold him back, but I want you to escape. Run until you're safe. Find your Grandmaster, your Great-Grandmaster, or any other Jedi. They'll protect you."
"Master-"
Another firm squeeze. Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon frowned, his dark blue eyes looked as hard as steel.
"Promise me, Obi-Wan."
"I-I promise-"
"Xai ikio'ah fuhx, padawan kat fehl(By the Will of the Force, promise me, padawan mine (it's a strong request for an oath, and Qui-Gon is using a verb tense implying that it's with the Force (giving even more weight to it)))."
Obi-Wan felt his heart tighten in his chest.
His master was asking for an oath from him. An oath in the name of the Force.
Obi-Wan didn't want to leave him. He really didn't. No matter what happened, he wanted to be by his master's side. All padawans wanted to be with their jaieh(master, teacher)s.
However… His master presence in the Force…
As much as he was still keeping his calm, there was a small tremor in jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon's words in the Force.
Fear.
Fear for Obi-Wan.
There was no hurt, as his master wasn't one to borrow grief from the future, being radically in the here and now. But there was that Fear for his padawan.
Fear of losing him either to death or to the Sith's cruelty.
"Ikio'ah foh.(I promise. (Obi-Wan isn't using the same verb tense, but he's making the oath anyway.)" Obi-Wan swore.
The words tasted like iron and ash in his mouth, and the padawan knew it would wound him to have to obey it, but he would do it. He was a Jedi, and he would honor his oath.
His jaieh(master, teacher)'s rigid expression relaxed. He hugged his padawan tightly.
Obi-Wan hugged him back.
There was another explosion.
The pair broke away from their embrace.
The Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home)'s structure shook like before, making the whole group look around the Temple, trying to see if the destruction would affect them.
It seemed that the marmoreal building still held.
However, this time, there was a different sound with that explosion.
The sound of cracks.
The Guards gasped.
"The shields! They won't last for much longer!"
From where they were, Obi-Wan could see the outside through the main doors. He could see the defense shields around the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home), a translucent white force-field sphere keeping the worst of the explosions away.
It was fractured, with cracks running all over it, as if it were made of glass.
Master Windu clenched his jaw and turned to the Jedi in front of the panel.
"How much longer?"
"Almost there, but we still need some time," one said.
"That damn traitor is too good with electronics!" another added in anger.
The group looked among themselves in apprehension.
All except jaieh(master, teacher) Windu, that is.
"Keep going," he took a step towards the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home)'s big doors. "I'll keep him distracted."
They stared at master Windu in heavy and mournful silence as he walked away, his shoulders squared and head held high. Nobody stopped him, for they knew that keeping the Sith busy was their best (and maybe only) chance of getting away with the Ochlyth Kaiber(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator kyber).
It still hurt, seeing him walk towards imminent death like that.
"Jaieh(master, teacher)…" Obi-Wan's voice was tight. He couldn't help but remember the broken mosaic he saw on his way there.
The dusk light had just gotten redder since.
Jaieh(master, teacher) Mace stopped. He looked over his shoulder.
His resolute brown eyes ran over the entire group first, as if saving them all in his memory with care.
Then his gaze stopped on Obi-Wan.
He let out a smile, a small stalwart thing.
"May the Force be with you. Always."
Obi-Wan held back tears and held onto the vain hope that he would see jaieh(master, teacher) Mace again.
He watched the master marching towards the entrance of the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home) and stopping there. The padawan could see only his back, but he noticed when the master put his hand in front of himself. If Obi-Wan had to guess, he would bet that the jaieh(master, teacher) had his hands inside his sleeves, together with a strong yet serene expression.
The perfect posture for the Master of the Jedi Order.
Mere moments later, another bomb fell on the Temple.
The shield shattered.
Shards of it fell for a single instant before dissipating as if they were never there. A melancholic moment of beauty amidst the chaos.
Now that the shield was gone, Obi-Wan could see that, right outside of the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home), there was an army waiting.
And leading it…
The Sith.
"Skywalker," master Mace greeted the Sith with a firm voice.
Obi-Wan was too far away for him to see details, but in the distance, he could see the silhouette of his former padawan-brother clad in a dark cape, darker than what he had ever used before. With morbid curiosity, he couldn't help but wonder if Anakin's eyes had turned toxic yellow under the cloak.
His jaieh(master, teacher) pushed him a little, so the padawan would be behind him. Obi-Wan still leaned out of master Qui-Gon's protection, eyes focused on the confrontation on the outside.
The Sith made a movement, raising his hand. It seemed to stop the troops in their tracks.
"Anakin Skywalker is no more," he shouted back. "I am Darth Vader, Lord of the Empire."
"And your first act as an Imperial Hound is to try and massacre the Jedi?"
"You're traitors! Power-hungry cold usurpers!"
"The Jedi Order's mandate always was and always will be to serve the people of the Galaxy."
"Will you continue lying to the end, Windu?" a brief laughter "Your arrogance is un-fucking-believable!"
"A Jedi does not seek power or glory." Jaieh(master, teacher) Mace's tone was calm in the middle of the storm. "But I suppose that was a lesson you never learned."
Anakin's presence got even colder, making Obi-Wan quiver slightly.
"You're such a hypocrite! You were always jealous of me, jealous of my powers! You couldn't stand that someone was more powerful than you, and you held me back! You in particular! You never respected me as the Chosen One, jealous that I was, and I am everything you'll never be!"
Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon flinched slightly at those words. He was too measured and controlled to let his emotions leak on their bond, but Obi-Wan knew him enough to understand his guilt.
From the very beginning, master Jinn was the biggest defender of the prophecy of the Daisha(Force-born or born from the Force. The Chosen One), the Chosen One. It happened before Obi-Wan was even born, but everybody knew the story of how jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon challenged the High Council to train Anakin Skywalker. The master had faith that Anakin was the Daisha(Force-born or born from the Force. The Chosen One), and that he would bring balance to the Force.
However, from small details in their conversations, the padawan heard how the master came to regret his previous faith. Since Knighthood, Anakin had been… difficult. Difficult in ways that weighed on their master's heart. But it was the knight's possessive and entitled attitude towards Obi-Wan, who was then a mere initiate, that had finally opened Qui-Gon's eyes.
"But now," Vader continued, his loud tone full of arrogance, "my chains are broken! You'll never have power over me again!"
Master Mace raised his chin.
"Prove it."
In a fluid movement, his lightsaber flew into his hand. The purple blade ignited just as he stood in a perfect opening stance for Vaapad, the violet light clashing with the red of the setting sun.
"Fight me yourself. Because all I see is nak lupaqor luimwan xariml'an(a childish ignorant, blinded by the Darksider (there are layers to this insult, see me after class for more info)), a little ignorant boy full of hubris."
Obi-Wan had to hold himself back from gasping at the heavy insult. Some in the group even snapped their heads to look back at Mace in shock.
Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon clenched his padawan's shoulder protectively while still looking in the direction of the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home)'s entrance. When Obi-Wan glanced at him, his master had his lips in a hard line.
Vader screamed in anger, his presence and power becoming heavier and more menacing in the Force. Summoning his lightsaber, the kyber bled in red, he jumped into a fight with master Mace.
It was brutal.
The Sith fought like Obi-Wan had never seen before.
Anakin had always been a little too aggressive in the salles with his Djem So, even before the war. But now…
Now, with the Darkside shrouding him, his attacks were something else.
Seeing that made Obi-Wan feel stupid.
Had he missed all the signs before?
Like all the children raised in the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home) at that time, Obi-Wan had admired Knight Skywalker, the power, confidence, and charm Anakin seemed to naturally exude. He had been beyond flattered at first when the knight had shown interest in him when he was just a young initiate.
However, that admiration died from one thousand small cuts.
So many things in Anakin's actions and behaviors compiled in those years they had known each other. Even now, it was hard for the padawan to put a finger on any of those small cuts, no matter how glaring they were.
The so casual and unnecessary disregard for the Council.
The blatant disdain for processing and caring for one's emotions in the Force.
The resentment, almost ire, towards the Jedi Code itself.
All in small doses, constantly. Small cuts with drops of vinegar on top.
Yet, Knight Skywalker never seemed to realize that the young padib(Jedi initiate) he was so insistent (borderline obsessive) in making into his first padawan, didn't reciprocate his interest. He was even antagonistic with anyone trying to "take" "his padawan" away from him.
The whole Temple noticed. Or, better said, Anakin himself made everybody notice his unreciprocated (slowly turning into unwanted) claim on Obi-Wan.
Master Yoda tried to run interference. But, to Obi-Wan's great despair, even with the Grandmaster of the Order sponsoring him, some jaieh(master, teacher) candidates (both masters and knights) who had previously shown interest in taking him as padawan had pulled back, scared off by Skywalker's temper.
All hope seemed lost, and Obi-Wan was starting to try to convince himself to become an AgriCorp member to escape the unwanted attention, when jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon came back to the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home).
The clash of the lightsabers continued, and Vader's brutality stirred up all those memories of all the small cuts, but worse.
For all intents and purposes, he was now a monster.
Yet, master Mace persevered.
Vaapad was also called the Ferocity Form, and its creator was known to be a Jedi who got close to the Dark, sometimes to a dangerous degree, especially when fighting.
In the padawan's opinion, perhaps the Form needed a different name, and people needed to check their eyes if they thought master Mace was dangerous.
He matched the Sith's brutality with grace, and the anger with patience. His movements and connection with the Force were measured and practiced, dancing in between light and shadows with the mastery only a true Jedi could achieve.
"Got it!" one of the knights who were fixing the emergency turbolift interjected in a cheer.
Obi-Wan turned just in time to see the doors opening.
Jaieh(master, teacher) Nu immediately programmed the hover crate to go inside. The Force bent around the Ochlyth Kaiber(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator kyber) in a strange way, but the crate moved with no problem.
The group started to enter the lift, but Obi-Wan hesitated. His eyes were still glued to the duel.
"Padawan, we have to go." Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon urged, trying to push him to the turbolift.
Obi-Wan resisted.
"But what about jaieh(master, teacher) Mace? We can't just leave him to fight the Sith alone! He's going to die!"
Even if master Mace defeated the Sith, there was an entire army behind him, not to speak of the Sith Master hiding in the Senate. No matter how skilled and disciplined a Jedi was, nobody could beat those odds by themselves.
Master Qui-Gon's eyes were tight. A glimpse of grief crossed his face as he clenched his padawan's shoulder again. In their bond, he showed Obi-Wan his sorrow, but shared comfort.
"The Force is with him, padawan kat fehl(padawan of mine)."
The blood ran out of Obi-Wan's face, his mind refusing to accept what was going to happen.
He looked back in the direction of the duel.
As if guided by the Force itself, at that exact moment, jaieh(master, teacher) Mace pushed Vader away, getting distance.
He threw a glance over his shoulder.
The jaieh(master, teacher) then turned back to the Sith fully, but with his lightsaber raised in a purple vertical line in front of him.
"Face it, Skywalker. You'll never defeat us, the Jedi. Try as you might, but you will never kill us in any way that matters."
The Sith shouted, running for a new attack, red lightsaber on the ready for a mortal slash.
But the Jedi master didn't move.
For a moment, the light of the sun was not red as before, but golden. It haloed the master in bright light.
"Paishilakji kodaih forpaiji.(We shall rise again.)"
His final words still rang in the air, in the Force, when Vader's lightsaber got to him.
As it is the way of many Jedi Masters who had found peace, master Mace Windu vanished. His Force presence faded.
He was one with the Force once again.
Obi-Wan screamed for the fallen master. His instinct was to run to where the cloak laid on the floor, as irrational as that was. Tears bloomed in his eyes, and his heart felt as if it were being sliced in half.
Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon held him, stopping the padawan from going.
But the scream caught the attention of the Sith to them.
Even in the distance, Obi-Wan felt Vader's gaze on him like bitter, cold, toxic smoke invading his lungs. He could swear he saw the Sith smile.
Through the unwanted bond, he felt Vader trying to invade his head. The Dark Lord was trying to stoke Obi-Wan's emotions, turn his despair and grief into frosty anger, and with that, force their bond to widen. A tide of corruption trying to pull Obi-Wan under.
The Sith was so strong that he was able to push a single word, forcing its way beyond Obi-Wan's defenses.
<<< Apprentice. >>>
It was overwhelming.
However, Obi-Wan gritted his teeth.
He pulled all the fortitude he had, from all the corners of his soul. And like a faithful guardian, he felt the Force rallying with him, the Lightside giving him strength.
Obi-Wan glared in Vader's direction, allowing one single word of his own to pass through before the final act.
<<< ZHIFORPAI!(NEVER!) >>>
And he pulled the bond, tearing it apart.
The first thing Obi-Wan noticed when he came back to consciousness was that he was lying on someone, kept close to the person's chest like an infant.
He could hear his jaieh(master, teacher)'s voice singing to him their aniakarah(Lineage melody or Lineage mantra) as the master ran his fingers through the padawan's hair.
With a frown and some effort, he blinked his eyes open while letting out a small groan. His head hurt a lot.
Master Qui-Gon stopped his ministrations, keeping his hand on Obi-Wan's cheek.
"Jaieh(master, teacher)?"
With the help of his master, Obi-Wan sat on his calves, leaning on the wall they were close to.
His vision was a little bit woozy still, and he felt a little nauseous (the backlash from a Force-bond torn away instead of being gently and slowly unfolded), but he could see that they were in a cargo hold. He could feel the soft vibrations of the hyperspace engines working under his fingertips when touching the floor and hear its soft purr if he focused just a little. Some Jedi from their escape group were also resting there, either in small groups talking among each other or by themselves in meditation. The Ochlyth Kaiber(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator kyber) was in a corner out of the way, with jaieh(master, teacher) Nu and another archivist meditating near it.
He blinked in confusion, doing his best to surrender his pain to the Force.
"What happened?"
Master Qui-Gon, who had been leaning against the wall with his legs stretched in front of him, sat on his calves too, facing Obi-Wan. His expression was inscrutable in its calm.
"What is the last thing you remember?"
Obi-Wan looked down, his heart still hurt with the death of the Master of the Order.
"We were guarding the Ochlyth(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator). Jaieh(master, teacher) Mace…" he took a deep breath, fighting tears and nausea. "He sacrificed himself so we could run. Then Ana-…" another deep breath, this time to curb the pain and anger, "Darth Vader tried to invade my mind. I think I passed out after that."
The jaieh(master, teacher)'s expression stayed serene, but closed off. He nodded, putting his hands inside his sleeves and letting out a hum.
"You had a bond with the Sith."
With a flinch, the padawan looked away from his master's eyes.
"After you tore it," jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon continued, "both of you faced backlash. I dare to say that he got it worse than you, as you were the one who broke the bond, but that's neither here nor there. Both fainted. I caught you before you could hit the floor and hurt yourself. The army shot at us, but at that distance and with their commander incapacitated, they couldn't do much. We followed the plan, protecting the Ochlyth(Compass/Wayfinder/Locator). I carried you with me."
He stared at his padawan with pensive dark blue eyes, while his padawan stared down at his own fists with tight eyes full of guilt.
The soft purr of the engine was the only sound between them for a moment.
"You had a bond with him," master Qui-Gon repeated, his tone softer.
Obi-Wan clenched his fists.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"For… keeping the bond with Vader and not… not breaking it before when it was safer."
The master hummed, letting the silence extend for a moment.
"Why did you break it in the way that you did?"
"He… he tried to invade my mind. To make the bond deeper."
"Our combined shields could have kept him away."
"I didn't…" a sigh "I wasn't thinking…"
Another small silence.
"I'm sorry, master."
Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon hummed, but still stayed quiet for a moment longer. His pensive musings felt like waves in their bond.
"You were angry."
Obi-Wan flinched.
"You are angry."
His voice was gentle. Calm. Completely non-judgemental and sounding just thoughtful.
"You are, aren't you?"
"Y-yes, master."
Another pensive hum.
"Why?"
That made Obi-Wan raise his head to stare at his jaieh(master, teacher) in shock.
"What do you mean 'why'?"
"I want you to walk me through why you are angry."
"The… The Sith attacked the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home)! Our home!" It was hard to keep his tone low as his fury rose once again. "He was going to march on the Temple! Kill everyone! Destroy us!"
He took a deep but shaky breath, tears coming to his eyes.
"H-He killed master Mace..."
"Indeed, Mace's death is truly a tragedy." His expression was still just serene, not giving anything away. "All fair reasons for one to be angry."
Obi-Wan hastily cleaned his tears before they could fall.
"Then why ask?" he snapped.
"Anger, padawan, isn't the only possible response. It's still a response, but just a possibility."
When the padawan looked back at his clenched fists, the master sighed.
"You're not at fault for your anger, and whoever says so is a fool. It's what you do with your anger, and if you hold onto it or not, that has you under scrutiny."
Feeling the blood run down from his face, Obi-Wan dared to raise his eyes again.
"I'm sorry."
Jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon took a deep breath, as if asking for patience.
"I need you to explain your actions to me, Obi-Wan, and I need you to be very honest."
The padawan nodded, still feeling nauseous and lightheaded.
"Why did you hold onto the bond you had with Anakin?"
Obi-Wan looked down for a moment.
There wasn't much time in between finding out that Vader was a Sith and breaking the bond. But even then, Obi-Wan had held onto it.
Darth Vader, before his fall, had been someone who had tried to possess him, take him by force.
However…
He hadn't been only that, had he?
"There's part of me… a part of me that even after all of this, all that he had done… even before his Fall… A part of me that loves him."
The padawan curled a little onto himself, shoulders tense and close to his ears.
"He was always very energetic, but in a way that spread like sunlight. I liked how he would talk about everything with me, of all people. He made me feel seen and… and cherished, even if it also made me feel as if I had to repay him somehow. And he always listened to me… or… at least… I thought so."
Master Qui-Gon hummed.
"Do you regret it? Picking me to be your master instead of him?"
Sucking a breath, Obi-Wan looked back at his jaieh(master, teacher).
"No! Never, master!"
When Obi-Wan was still an initiate, and all hope seemed lost for him to get a master (thanks to Anakin), master Qui-Gon came back to the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home) for a longer stay after two years in constant missions.
They had met by a sweet caprice of the Force.
The padib(Jedi initiate) had been looking for somewhere to hide from Anakin. The then Jedi Knight had been a little too insistent on that particular afternoon. The older the initiate got, the more the Knight was pushing for him to "accept already that they were meant to be". Obi-Wan just wanted a place to be, to take a breather and think for himself.
The jaieh(master, teacher) had been looking for his peace of mind in meditation. Master Yoda had told him the troubling news of his former padawan's behavior, both with the initiate and other things. The Grandmaster hadn't informed him of the name of the padib(Jedi initiate), but Qui-Gon wanted to meditate on that particular issue nonetheless.
They met in a secluded refuge near one of the many waterfalls of the Room of a Thousand Fountains, their nook being surrounded by soft, colorful, and extravagant new blooms.
And they just fit with each other, like puzzle pieces.
Qui-Gon was able to help the initiate calm himself and guided him through meditation, and Obi-Wan pulled the master from the spiral of doom that his mind seemed to be inadvertently going towards.
And after that first afternoon, they continued meeting.
There was something almost magical in how they felt about each other, that uplifting, fortifying, and relaxing aura that only existed when they were together.
It didn't take long for Anakin to find out that Obi-Wan had been spending "too much" time with Qui-Gon. His jealousy felt like acid. He had no qualms about letting the young padib(Jedi initiate) know exactly what the Knight thought about that "betrayal", showing how entitled he felt for Obi-Wan's time.
However, if there was one person capable of running interference and protecting Obi-Wan, it was Skywalker's former master, jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon.
Anakin lashing out only pushed the two closer.
It only took Qui-Gon asking Obi-Wan once for the two to become a master-padawan pair.
"I loved him like an older brother," the padawan continued desperately, "You're the only one I've really truly wanted to be my master and the one I love as my jaieh(master, teacher)."
Master Qui-Gon nodded. Something in his posture seemed to relax a little, even if his expression and Force Presence still were inscrutably calm.
"Then why did you tear the bond in the way you did?"
"I…" he averted his eyes, "I… I was angry. Because, how could he…" a pause so he could take a deep breath to hold his tears, "how could he try to destroy the Jedi? How could he so callously kill master Mace? How could he… how could he try to ruin me?"
"Was it then an act of revenge?"
"No… I mean, I guess my anger did push me a little, but…"
He raised his eyes, staring straight at his master.
"I wouldn't let him break me." A deep breath, "Yeah, even if I shouldn't, a small part of me wants him to suffer for what he has done. But I didn't break the bond because of that. I did it so he wouldn't hold power over me ever again."
That seemed to relax jaieh(master, teacher) Qui-Gon at last. If his relief wasn't obvious enough in the Force, the way he pulled Obi-Wan to his arms certainly left no doubts.
"Tumi ben'ah kodaih.(We Jedi endure/resist/persist)" his master said softly "Zhi solji kodaih Siiel(We Jedi will never yield to the Sith). You did well, padawan mine."
Obi-Wan wanted to relax and unwind in his master's arms, but the weight of today's losses was finally catching up to him.
"We lost the Anohrah("temple of the family" or "home temple", the Jedi Temple, their home)." he lamented while letting his tears fall and holding back hiccups. "We lost so many jehwidenan(Jedi Guards, Jedi Watchers). Master Mace we-"
"Shhh… It's alright, Obi-Wan, it's alright."
"But we lost everything!"
The jaieh(master, teacher) pulled away to gently dry his padawan's tears with his thumbs.
"While it's true that we are rather displaced at the moment, not everything is lost. Above all, we still have the Force, and it's with us always. And if we have the Force, we can rebuild."
He rested his hands on Obi-Wan's neck, massaging it to ward away the headache his padawan had.
"Being a Jedi isn't about a temple or some texts. It's not even about lightsabers, contrary to what your grandmaster might say. To be a Jedi is to follow the will of the Force, and the Force pushes us to endure, to adapt, and to overcome any adversity that comes from the Darkside."
His hands were gentle, being a soothing presence. Obi-Wan also suspected that his jaieh(master, teacher) was using the Force to help him with the backlash symptoms.
"And no matter how much the Sith brought darkness to the Galaxy, even after the longest night, the sun shall rise again."
Obi-Wan blinked, the meaning of jaieh(master, teacher) Mace's last words dawning on him.
"Paishilakji kodaih forpaiji.(We shall rise again.)" he repeated with wide eyes.
The master smiled.
"Yes, padawan. Our sacrifices today are not in vain. We shall rise again. For us, for the Galaxy, and for the Force."
Oddly enough, the first thing that came to Obi-Wan's mind was little Reva.
Now, finally with time to think and feel, he realized that what he had felt with Reva was very similar to how he felt with his jaieh(master, teacher). He had been calm and focused half of the evacuation only because of her, for her. The rest of the time it was because of and for his master.
They were Jedi.
Obi-Wan was but a link in that chain of masters and disciples, united through space and time by their dedication, their duty, and their love. Although most of the time, the Jedi traveled alone or in small groups, their strength was in their unity.
It was only together that they could truly thrive, and that was something that the Sith would never understand.
In his heart, Obi-Wan made an oath to himself that he would see little Reva again. Even if she didn't become his padawan as his heart craved, he would do everything he could so she and all the future Jedi could live to see the dawn of a better day.
"Xai shilakji kodaih forpaiji.(By the Will of the Force, we shall rise again)" he amended, letting out a smile to match his jaieh(master, teacher).
Master Qui-Gon blinked in surprise for a moment before smiling again. He held his padawan's hand, intertwining their fingers tightly just like Obi-Wan had done with Reva. But he also leaned into Obi-Wan's space, resting their foreheads together so they could share the same air, and opening their bond more to share the gentle strength they both had.
"Xai shilakji kodaih forpaiji.(By the Will of the Force, we shall rise again)"