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Shang Qinghua was asexual. Did he particularly care?

Well uh-

Yes and no?

Sure, the absence of sexual attraction can be hard to highlight, but it felt partially relevant to his identity as a whole. Even if he loved writing smut of his stallion protagonist, he sometimes forgot people actually had sex in real life. The concept sort of terrified him, but it was easier to digest when he remembered everyone was a character! That's right, only fictional and hence it was just fandom shipping when some NPCs started rawdogging it!

The thing was… people viewed him as someone who had sex. Which wasn't a problem for the most part; it was a harmless assumption, but he just felt awkward when someone he knew implied he'd be… doing that. Banging it out. Jerking a warm one. Sure, he was crude, but he couldn't help but be a bit apathetic as his unerotic phrases slipped into normal conversations.

Which led him to his current situation, where he said some randomly crude wordplay and Shen Qingqiu slapped his skull with a solid wooden fan. "Shameless!"

"No, no, shixiong, I didn't mean it like that!"

The man's face furrowed, his green eyes sent ablaze as he exclaimed, "Does this shidi place the blame on this one then? That it can only be this one's fault to draw in your depraved sight?!"

Shit, he didn't even remember what he said! He cowered from the fan being raised, instantly blurting out, "I'm asexual!"

Shen Qingqiu paused, but his expression remained just as judgemental. "Asexual?"

"Yeah…" Shang Qinghua straightened his back as much as he could. He swallowed, "I don't feel sexual attraction to others?"

"So? You aren't some uncontrollable beast." His fan returned to his side, settling for flat toxicity as his eyes narrowed. "That's how it should be."

The An Ding peak lord blinked at him a few times. "Ah." He didn't know that headcanon leaked into the actual story.

Shen Qingqiu was none the wiser to the man's thoughts as he glared. "Stop making excuses and get out of my sight."

"Will do, leaving now, bye Shen-shixiong!!" He waved a little as he ran out the room.

It was stupid, really stupid. With a stubborn erection burning between his legs, he regretted ever hunting for those Jaded Thornberries as fuel for a new artifact he wanted to try out. Sure, he managed to get the berries, but it was only moments later that some white flowers had blossomed, causing him to inhale enough pollen to cause the problem in his southern regions.

Erections weren't new, he sure as hell wasn't oblivious, but usually it was only a vague tingling that'd relatively go away on his own. Sometimes he would keep it long enough to jerk off, but it frankly felt like a waste of time that he only dabbled in when he was really bored.

But now his problem wasn't going away. When he dropped off his stuff at An Ding, the symptoms were getting a bit more extreme. He felt a little breathless from his racing heart, his vision spotted with dark black whenever he moved too fast. He put a hand onto his crotch just to cringe. It was sensitive, and as far as he recalled, very few pollens were actually relieved from a solo orgasm.

He huffed and ran a hand through his hair, not particularly caring that he looked disheveled from his flushed cheeks and dilated eyes.

Well, there was probably one person who could know if there was an alternative. He flew on his sword over one of the bridges and navigated towards Qian Cao Peak. The doctor's office was easy to locate and he welcomed himself inside. A disciple looked up from the front desk. "Greetings! Does this shibo request our shizun?"

"If possible," he answered, his voice a bit dry. He didn't quite want anyone near him, but his fellow peak lord was much better than a disciple.

"He is likely available." They led him down a secluded corridor and knocked. "Shizun? Shang-shibo is here."

There was some shuffling, a heavy thud like Mu Qingfang tripped, and then a desperate opening of the door. "So it is!" The delight of recognition rounded his face, "Shixiong, please come in."

The disciple left them be and Shang Qinghua walked further in the doctor's expansive office. "This one hopes he isn't interrupting."

"No, not at all. My martial siblings are always the top priority." Mu Qingfang closed the door and glanced him over. "Does Shang-shixiong remember the cause of his arousal?"

A bit of adrenaline shot through his veins as his hairs prickled off his skin, "How did you-" No, this was Mu Qingfang, of course he could notice it easily. Shang Qinghua deflated as he looked down, his skin overheated in every way possible. "It was a white flower? Uh- in the Twilight Forest."

The doctor didn't even bother to grab a notebook. "Ah, likely the Ivory Lilies. The remedy is dual cultivation."

Shang Qinghua swallowed, his chest wildly moving for the next breath. "Is that the only way?"

Mu Qingfang's face professionally softened. "Shixiong, there is no reason to feel awkward. This one is willing to assist- it's only for medical purposes."

"No, I-" He awkwardly squirmed, his chest tight with a mix of anxiety and forced arousal. "I just don't do that."

"That is fine, this one can take the lead."

Just as Mu Qingfang tapped the medical cot, Shang Qinghua spewed out, "I'm asexual."

The doctor tilted his head, processing the words before his eyes brightened with recognition. "Ah, asexuality! Thanking this shixiong for that context."

Shang Qinghua glanced around them. "Mu-shidi knows what that is?"

"Of course! It is always this one's priority to understand the nuances of any patient." He excitedly ran to one of his cabinets. "Shang-shixiong requests an alternative treatment, yes?"

His throat felt dry while he nodded his head so quickly that he probably looked stupid. "Yes, that would be perfect. This one wasn't sure if there was an alternative."

"Modern medicine is truly wonderful!" The doctor filled a syringe, and Shang Qinghua's face went pale. Ugh, if anyone could find a reason to stab him with a needle, it was Mu Qingfang. He looked the complete opposite way during the administration, only focusing on the idea of his future relief.

The doctor patted his shoulder when he was done. "It should be fully effective before the next sunrise, but some relief should come within a shichen."

Shang Qinghua felt some tension leave his body. "Thanks, doc."

Liu Qingge and Shang Qinghua were walking in the forest on a retrieval mission when the shorter peak lord tripped on an inauspicious vine on the ground. It latched around his ankle and he instantly reached for his sword, just to have his wrist taken too. "Ah- Liu-shidi! Get-"

The war god seemed absolutely unamused as he swung his sword through the tentacle-like vines, watching them slowly slither away and writhe on the ground.

Shang Qinghua sighed in relief and looked up at Liu Qingge. Who just stood there. Not helping him up. He slightly furrowed his brow and got up, kicking off the excess vine. "Thanks."

"Watch where you step," he coldly demanded, his voice trailing with a hint of venom as he kept walking forward.

The An Ding peak lord quickly caught up. "If something's wrong, this one requests to know what."

Liu Qingge looked at the man with disdain. "You're well aware."

"Of?"

The man gestured to the vines back there before he kept storming forward.

Shang Qinghua kept pace, even if the Bai Zhan peak lord huffed about it. "C'mon- I'm sorry, I didn't see the vine there!" His footsteps faltered for a moment before picking right back up, "Wait- I didn't want to get trapped! I'm uh-" He glanced around, almost as if trying to see if anyone else was in the dense forest, "Asexual."

Liu Qingge just sighed, not even bothering to look at the man. "Don't try. I'm not going to have sex with you."

He squeaked. "I- I know! Nor do I want that."

Yet the man continued to explain, "And those plants didn't do anything, you're fine."

"I know??" He felt like he was going insane within an NPC conversation, he reiterated, "I'm just saying I'm asexual- like, in general."

"And you don't need to have sex." Liu Qingge didn't shift his voice as he lightly mocked, "In general."

Was he… being rejected or validated?? Those steely eyes were glaring at Shang Qinghua for even existing, everything being spouted with such an indifferent attitude that he just nodded, convincing himself he could fake his understanding of Liu Qingge until the warrior truly clicked. "Right. Thanks."

Wrong answer?? Liu Qingge squinted at him. "Don't thank me for that."

Wait- don't thank him for acceptance, so it was fine?!?!?

Ugh, Shang Qinghua was truly going to get a migraine at this rate… After a few seconds, he just decided to nod and keep quiet, watching to make sure he didn't trip into anything else.

Shang Qinghua and Wei Qingwei got along surprisingly well. Granted, sometimes the blacksmith would procrastinate his paperwork and 'accidentally' send it to An Ding quite shortly before the deadline, but aside from Qinghua's quarterly frustrations, they were decent friends.

It started with Wei Qingwei ripping out a crude dad joke relating to swords, typically expecting cringe, disappointment, disgust, or even (temporary) innocence, but Shang Qinghua pushed a pair of imaginary glasses up his nose bridge and kept matching the man's perverted tongue. At the good ones, Wei Qingwei let out a belly laugh and patted him on the back, sometimes even bruising the smaller one if he wasn't careful with his enjoyment.

That day, Shang Qinghua held his sword as he wandered into his shixiong's workspace. The man was- well, surprisingly not metal-wielding. He held his metal tools over a blue flame, stretching a piece of glass like it was slime, his movements precise as he wiggled his hands then brought the sculpture away from the heat source.

His eyes lit up when he saw the peak lord quietly watching him. "Ah! Shang-shidi, come here!"

Shang Qinghua stepped closer, tilting his head at the blue and clear piece. "A fish?"

"Yes!" It wasn't perfect, the azure fins were lop-sided and the proportions were off, but the glass sculpture was probably better than anything the logistics peak lord could create.

He hummed. A contagious smirk slipped onto his lips while he raised an eyebrow. "Is metal not causing sparks to fly anymore?"

The man made a single laugh as he shook his head. "Can't help but spice things up."

"Is it making you feel molten?"

"Oh, it's certainly hotter than iron."

He dramatically frowned. "Does Wei-shixiong mean to tell me he prefers this new tool he found?"

"If it makes my shidi feel any better, the only blade I'd blow is yours."

Shang Qinghua laughed. "Not within my lifetime."

"Hm? Does the tip not point?"

"It works fine, I only arrived for a general check-up. No resentment on it, I hope."

Wei Qingwei turned off his flame and took the sword in his hands. "Eh, based on what I hear, the blade hasn't been drawn often enough for that."

A beat of silence fell in the air. "About my sword, or… my sword?"

"The latter," the blacksmith admitted. His eyes fell onto the weapon in his hands; he gently ran his hand along the non-sharpened surface. "It seems fine, but this one will keep it for a day to go through the usual routine."

"That's fine." He lingered on the other conversation for longer than he probably should have. Twisting the words until he suddenly asked, "What are people saying?"

Wei Qingwei looked up from the sword. "About Shang-shidi?"

"Yeah."

He shrugged, but his eyes were just as open. "Nothing in particular. There just hasn't been talk about it." He became suspiciously interested, "Does someone catch my shidi's eye?"

"No one here." And he quickly drafted a few conversations in his mind:

• 'I'm asexual,' a familiar path he's been down before.

• 'I'm married to a demon,' well uh- hm, that was definitely a longer conversation-

• 'I'm asexual and I'm married to a demon,' uhhh one weird conversation at a time, please!

"This one is uh- asexual?" He admitted, though he hated how it sounded like a question, he confirmed, "No sexual attraction to others."

"Ohhhh." He nodded after a moment and quietly said to himself, "I've got a disciple like that. Good kid."

Shang Qinghua stood there. That's all he could really do.

Wei Qingwei eventually filled the silence, "While one of your swords might have rust without the blood, I'll ensure the other has no bloodrust."

The An Ding peak lord chuckled. "Deal." He stepped away.

"Wait!" Shang Qinghua stopped. "It's only a deal if my purchase request gets approved-"

"Wei-shixiong-"

"No no, listen! It's quite important- the silver nitrate lets this one make yellow glass!"

Shang Qinghua sighed and started leaving.

"Shang-shidi! Think about the fish, a blue and yellow fi-"

The door was closed. Wei Qingwei grumbled and lightly kicked a small box. He stared at his little fish. "Don't worry, buddy. We'll make you a realllll nice fish friend one day." He put the glass to the side so it could cool and continued with his work.

Shang Qinghua could handle a lot of problems, but Zhuzhi Lang was just pesky. Well- the snake demon actually seemed relatively respectful, but no matter the reasons the advisor gave to Tianlang Jun (primarily the one that he was already married), it never seemed to get through the man's thick, heavenly skull.

The flamboyant one strolled around his nephew, giving him a pat on the head. "He would be quite resourceful! Nephew, tell your Qinghua what you hunted yesterday."

"Uh- um-" His hands were busy playing with his hair, timidly admitting, "This one managed to chase down a wolf-tailed rabbit."

"A wolf-tailed rabbit!" Tianlang Jun cheered. "You know what they say about a demon's stamina on a field and within the sheets," he wiggled his eyebrows.

Shang Qinghua cringed and only hesitated a moment before he said, "I'm asexual."

Tianlang beamed, grinning from ear to ear, "My nephew is as well!"

The human raised an eyebrow, slowly leaning back in his seat. "Really? Tell me more."

"Yes, he is such a sexual, he can never stop doing it."

Zhuzhi Lang nodded, hesitantly offering, "D- during mating season, this one can orgasm 3 times in a shichen."

"Yes! My nephew is the most sexual one you could meet. He will produce the best children for you!"

Shang Qinghua stared at them for a while before offering, "Number one: that orgasm rate confuses me, but good for you. Number two: asexual."

Tianlang Jun eagerly bobbed his head. "Proof you two will be the perfect pair!"

He pinched his nose bridge and provided, "Asexual means to not experience sexual attraction to others."

Zhuzhi Lang furrowed his brow as if realizing something. But Tianlang Jun quickly popped that bubble as he loudly exclaimed, "My nephew does not require attraction; he will accept anything given!"

The snake nodded but Shang Qinghua just sighed. "Get out of my office before I summon my king."

Tianlang Jun wilted and shrugged, doing a spin as he left the room. "My nephew won't be on the market forever. You should accept his courtship soon."

Zhuzhi Lang mumbled a formal goodbye and left with his uncle, leaving Shang Qinghua in peace once more.

The evening was wonderful. It was the first time in a while that he was caught up on work and he was savoring the dinner of his king's hand-pulled noodles. He yapped between bites until all of the food was down, making sure to say, "Thank you, my king. It's amazing."

"Mn." Mobei Jun finished his meal too and came around the table to pick up Shang Qinghua.

The human squeaked while he was being picked up, but he was compliant into his husband's arms. He pressed a kiss to his king's jawline while he was being carried to the bedroom.

He rolled his eyes as he was placed on the soft sheets. "My king is tired already?"

Mobei Jun shed his typical coat and climbed over his advisor, casting a shadow over him. "Not yet."

"Then-" what are we doing here, but his blood went cold when he realized what his king probably wanted.

He didn't feel any better as his husband confirmed, "My Qinghua has never had enough time to be taken care of." Cold kisses pressed onto the side of his neck. "Please allow this king t-"

"No."

Mobei Jun's entire frame went rigid. He was stuck in his place aside from how his head was slightly tilted.

Shang Qinghua took the opportunity to lightly push the demon away, Mobei Jun being more than willing to give his Qinghua some space as the man curled up with his knees to his chest. "I'm sorry, my king. Everything has been great tonight, I- I do have the time for it too, but…"

"My Qinghua does not want to."

His shoulders tensed, hugging his legs tightly. He was quiet, guilt written all over his face as he glanced at the bed. "Yeah."

A beat passed. "Why?"

It was simple, truly, it was. But fuck, Proud Immortal Demon Way was such a sexual world, what if his king would divorce him upon the reveal? Shang Qinghua tightly closed his eyes. Maybe he could push through, maybe that'd be easier?

"Xiaohua," Mobei Jun called out, bringing him back into reality.

Shang Qinghua looked at him, unsure how much he owed his husband. If they did it once, they were likely to do it again. Even if he maybe wanted to experiment, he simply felt gross to not know ahead of time. He hated how nerdy it sounded that he would've wanted a borderline sex contract detailing the acts they would do and how often. A tense breath left his chest. "I can't do it. I mean- maybe one day I could?" His voice grew squeaky until he defaulted to, "I'm… asexual."

Mobei Jun stared at him. Neutrally, Qinghua hoped. Those crystalline eyes were burning into him regardless, making him feel smaller with each passing second.

Eventually, the king requested, "Explain."

Okay. It wasn't a bad reaction yet. He fell into a routine, "This advisor doesn't experience sexual attraction." He followed up, "To anyone." After the tiniest second passed, he reinforced, "It's not my king's fault. It's my sexuality."

"Mn," Mobei Jun grunted. He scanned the human, his gaze remaining centered on that saddened face. "My Qinghua does not want sex."

Shang Qinghua cringed. "Maybe one day I could do it? It… would require a decent amount of negotiation." He let quietness drift in the cold air between them before he stated, "It'd mostly be for my king's sake."

Mobei Jun hummed and moved away from his husband by settling on the other side of the bed.

Painful insecurity pushed through his arms as he tried, "Does my king still…" He didn't dare to finish the rest. Knowing his luck, he would jinx himself; he used all of his good luck to get that far, he simply got too greedy to deny his king a bit of after-marriage sex. He didn't look at his husband.

"This king will not have sex."

Shang Qinghua pursed his lips. "If my king needs to go to someone else, t- this one will understand," he hated the idea, but he'd read so many threads online of people having an unfortunate time coming out to their partners.

And Mobei Jun obviously stated, "My Qinghua does not want this king to seek others."

"Yeah."

Neither of them said anything for a moment. The king broke the tension, "Then do not offer that."

Shang Qinghua finally managed to look at Mobei Jun. "This one understands if-"

"No." There was determination in his voice, "This king would only want his Qinghua."

He slightly shrank into himself. "Sorry."

Mobei Jun furrowed his brow. "There is more to my Qinghua than sex."

"I know, but-"

"No," he commanded.

Shang Qinghua's shoulders slightly loosened. "Thanks, my king." He stayed there for a while before he shuffled closer to his husband, making their shoulders touch. The cold barely seeped through his insulated robes, but it was enough of a shift to help him feel grounded. He tried to seem confident as he asked, "My king still wants me?"

"En." His eyes were as blue as a gentle river with snow along the edges. "Nothing could change that."

He uncurled from himself, allowing his knees to settle in a more comfortable position. "Thennn," he slowly began, "Could this advisor make a formal request?"

A nod. Mobei Jun was not averse to a sudden discussion relating to work.

"Could this king bestow this one a kiss?" He slightly broke into a smile towards the end.

The demon huffed affectionately then leaned in, cupping Shang Qinghua's cheek as he tenderly kissed the man. Their eyes were shut and the human took it upon himself to wrap his arms around his husband's neck, slowly shifting into the king's lap. Mobei Jun was delightfully surprised at some of the desperation in the kiss, and after a while of indulgence, he hesitantly broke it off. "My Qinghua still enjoys kissing?"

"Yes," he exhaled. "Cuddling is good too."

Mobei Jun gently held one of his Qinghua's hands and placed it onto his pec.

Shang Qinghua held a suspicious smirk before he gave in to his temptations and squeezed the soft flesh. It nicely melted under his fingers. "The texture feels nice." After another push along the skin, he paused. "If this turns you on, I can stop."

"Nm."

"Okay." He permitted himself to play with the boob like it was a squishy fidget toy. "This advisor isn't innocent, but sometimes I don't know if I'm causing something? Call me out if it seems like I'm teasing you."

Mobei Jun nodded with a hum. Perhaps it was that final seal of approval that made Shang Qinghua bury his head into his king's neck, pressing himself against the cold skin with a sense of bliss. "Thank you, my king."

"There is nothing to thank."

He huffed before allowing the weak argument to drift away from him. "I love you, my king."

"Mn."

Shang Qinghua pouted, "Baobei-"

"This husband loves his Qinghua as well." His face was stupidly smug as he drank his husband's cute frustration. Immediately, Shang Qinghua kissed his king again, a pinch of pettiness on his lips before it melted away, leaving them only with their smiles as he leaned into his husband.