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Shiemi and Rin are sitting next to each other again and both are so red-faced that Shiemi feels better about the situation. Well, she assumes she's red faced because her whole head feels hot. Her heart still pounds but after their previous 'talk' it's still hitting different now that she's figured out more things about herself.
“Thanks for wanting to talk about this again.” Shiemi said.
Rin, shrugging, chances to look back at her. “You make it sound like it's a big deal.” He said.
“It feels like one. This took me so long to figure out, and I feel so silly for not figuring it out sooner.” She said.
Rin frowned. “Figured out what?” He asked.
Shiemi let out a breath, “Oh, mostly about me. I'm still not sure I'm ready for romance. B-but I could be at some point, I think that's what I want more actually,” Her face flamed even more, “I-I remember you said that you wanted to-to do things-”
She's cut off by a sort of choked laugh, “I-I uh wow, sorry about that. Guys are-” Rin cut himself off, shaking his head, “No, this is on me for being pervy and gross-”
Now it's her turn to cut him off, waving her hands, “No no no, it's normal to want that stuff. Just as it's normal to...not want that stuff. I did some reading and well, turns out that's normal too. Turns out there's lots of people who don't ever want that. And I think I'm one of those people.” She said.
“Oh.” Rin said.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Rin, bumping his shoulder into hers, grounds her and lets her breathe.
“Ok then.” Rin said.
“Really? It's, ok?” She asked.
“Of course. If that's how it is, that's how it is.” Rin said.
Shiemi melted against him. “I knew that you wouldn't care, not really. But it still feels weird. To know this and still sit with it.” She said.
“How did you know?” He asked.
“After I talked about it with Izumo, we went to the library. She wanted us to get some books before going on any forums. S-she knew the best places to look for so I wouldn't get any misinformation,” She can still remember that night and just how kind Izumo truly is, “So what we found made so much sense to me, it was almost like knowing all along and somehow not. Does that make any sense?” She asked.
Rin leaned back for a minute, a kind of reel, before sucking in a breath and nodding, “Yeah...Yeah that makes total sense actually. I've felt the same when I found out about Satan.” He shook his head, looking alarmed all of a sudden, “N-not that those things are alike! They're not! This is good, this is totally cool, so you don't wanna do stuff at all? L-like-” He cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck.
“No, not really.” She said. “I read that romance and...and sex are two separate things to want. I only want one of those things and the more I thought about it...the more it makes sense that I could feel romance for, well, for anyone, I guess. If the right stuff happens.” She said.
“Hmm, so like, you'd want to romance girls too?” He asked.
“I...I think so.” She said.
“Ok.” He said. “That's no big deal.”
Shiemi felt tears pricking at her eyes, not so overwhelming that she's going to start sobbing but there's a happy trembling in her that feels so new and unexpected that she doesn't know what to do with it. Just the sense that she's incredibly lucky. She puts her head on his shoulder, letting her tears dry on his shirt.
“So...uh, this is gonna sound weird but, but maybe in case this ever comes up but...” Shiemi looked up at him and felt nothing but encouragement so she continued, “If we ever do date and you need to...well do things. Then you can always meet someone who can help. As long as you're safe, it's fine by me.” She said.
“Uh...wow.” He said.
“I know! I know that's. That's really a lot. And maybe we won't even end up...dating, but well, if we do, I. I just thought you should know that it's fine if you want to do that kind of stuff with other people.” She said.
“It's fine. It's just...a lot. Man, you guys really talked a lot about this. Got it all planned out, huh?” He asked.
Rin gave a little laugh. Shiemi can't tell how nervous he is, or if it's bad nervous or what. Shiemi shrugged. His neck laugh was looser and she giggled at it.
“I guess so. Izumo is very prepared. She says we have to look out for each other.” She said.
Rin's gaze turned thoughtful, eyes going a little far away before widening, as if something had clicked into place for him. Shiemi hoped he didn't ask after it, not because she thought it was bad but because it was Izumo's story to tell. Izumo's a private person but she's getting more comfortable with revealing more of who she is, so she probably just needs more time. Shiemi knew that the least they could do was give it to her.
“If...If I do that, could you meet them? I think you'd be able to tell if they're any good for me.” Rin said.
Warmth filled her up like Rin's flames, just as bright and safe, and her smile is so wide her face is aching.
“Of course.” Shiemi said.
Rin lays his head down on her shoulder and they stay that way for a while.