Chapter Text
Howard Han stared at Athena Grant and Bobby Nash who were sitting opposite him.
“What do you mean they won’t file the missing persons report?” He asked, trying to control his frustration. He failed and it fairly oozed out of his tone. Maddie was missing! Why did no one but him care?
Athena exchanged a glance with Bobby and gently waved her hand in a calm down motion. “I did take down the report and file it. But it was flagged internally. Some new protocols thanks to digitizing the whole system due to the pandemic.”
She sighed, “Unfortunately my going onto the scene during the sniper situation to save Bobby, when LAFD expressly told me the scene wasn’t cleared, means I am, for the moment, unable to work on cases where there is a conflict of interest. Which means I cannot handle cases which connect to the 118.”
Chimney shook his head in frustration even as he understood the validity of what she was saying. “So they won’t even file it?”
“They will. The report stands, but you’d have to come in and speak to the detective assigned to it so he can verify the details himself before he puts it into the system and begins his due diligence.” Athena’s voice was gentle. “I explained your situation. He is willing to meet you here if you think that would be easier for you. Or at your home. Or you could come into the station.”
Chimney sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, even though he knew he was disheveling it further. “I just want this done as soon as possible, Athena! Maddie’s out there somewhere in the state she’s in. I just want to find her and bring her home,” he ended, upset at his situation all over again.
He should have never stayed at work through the blackout. He should have gone home. He should have called someone, Karen, anyone, to go check on Maddie. He clenched his fists in anger, at himself for not leaving, at Buck for not giving him a power bank to charge his phone fast enough, at Bobby for leaving when his family had been in trouble but not offering him the same leeway to just take off. He had prioritized everyone and everything over his own family. Over Maddie and Jee-Yun. And now he was paying the price for it.
“Yes, it’s urgent. He’s at my house. Do you think you could… Yes, please. Thanks… See you soon.”
He glanced up to see Athena coming toward him. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed her walk away.
“Williams’ on his way here. He’ll verify the details I put down in the report and file it under his name,” she explained.
He glanced at Bobby then at Athena. “You trust him?”
Athena nodded. “I’ve not worked directly with him but I’ve never heard a negative thing about him.” She waved between Bobby and Chimney. “He’s actually your Battalion Chief Williams’ eldest son, Jake.”
Chimney frowned. “So they give him any cases involving LAFD personnel?”
“Oh, no. He’s a detective in the Missing Person’s Unit. That’s why he’s on this case. He’s recovering from being shot and is on light duty which is why he’s the perfect one to dive into this.”
He nodded at Athena’s explanation. At least they weren’t just sticking him with some legacy kid. He dragged his hand down his face and checked his phone to make sure he hadn’t missed a text from Albert and Buck who were babysitting Jee-Yun for him.
A short while later the bell rang. He glanced up to see a tall, lean man, dressed in dark jeans and a blue shirt with a light jacket walking down the stairs with Athena.
“Bobby, Chim, this is Detective Jake Williams. Jake, you remember my husband Bobby? And this is Howard Han,” Athena introduced them.
Jake smiled a friendly smile and nodded at Bobby. “Captain Nash, yes I remember from the department cookout. Your brownies were legendary. Nice to see you again.”
Bobby smiled, “Thank you, Jake. Nice to see you again, too. Please have a seat.”
Jake nodded at Chimney. “Paramedic Han,” he set his tablet down and took a seat opposite Chimney, “let’s see how I can assist you today.”
“Hi,” Chimney forced himself to be polite. He couldn’t afford to vent his frustration at the inaction that he considered on part of the LAPD. He needed them on his side in order to find Maddie.
“Coffee?” Athena offered.
“None for me, thanks,” Jake said pleasantly.
“Would you like us to leave?” Bobby asked.
Jake waved his hand toward Chimney. “That’s up to Mr. Han.”
Chimney swallowed and shook his head. “They can stay.”
Jake nodded and glanced over whatever was on his tablet. “Why don’t you lay out the situation for me?”
Chimney bit back a frustrated growl. The man had all the notes. All the details. The situation was right in front of his face on his stupid tablet! Why did he need him to go over it again?!
The man’s cold blue gaze cooled him off from venting though. He swallowed his frustration and retold the story as quickly as he could.
“My girlfriend, Maddie, the mother of our nine month old daughter, left her at my firehouse with a note. She left four days ago and isn’t returning my calls, texts or emails. She wouldn’t just leave our daughter, leave me this way!” He swallowed hard. “She has been experiencing post partum depression. Her medication wasn’t helping and she felt she needed a change with it. We… we were going to get that done when the blackout happened. I was away at work for five days while she was alone with our daughter, Jee-Yun.” He paused, exhausted from telling the tale again and looked at Bobby who nodded.
Bobby cleared his throat. “I was still at the firehouse, the 118, when Ravi from B shift came and told me that Maddie had left Jee-Yun with him along with an iPad. I called Chimney, uh, Howard, and asked him to return. We saw on our external CCTV footage that Maddie drove away from outside the 118.”
Jake nodded slowly. “That sounds… deeply upsetting.” His eyes flicked over his tablet again. “It says here that she left you a message, Mr. Han. What were the contents of it?”
Chimney looked at Bobby and Athena who nodded at him. He sighed and nodded. “Athena has the message.”
“Howard sent it to me so that I had a copy of it.” Athena tapped on her phone then offered it to Jake.
Jake accepted it and glanced at Chimney instead of playing the message. “Will it upset you to hear this again?”
Chimney shook his head. “I’ve watched it a million times already searching for some clue.”
“Oh?”
The man’s casual, unbothered tone rankled at Chimney. Why did he even expect the man to care? It wasn’t like the mother of HIS child was missing. Bobby clearing his throat distracted him into glancing at Bobby who shook his head minutely. Chimney swallowed back his frustration. Calm down, he took that gesture to mean. Why was it Chimney that needed to calm down?!
“Watch the video. Maybe you’ll see something, notice something we’re missing,” Bobby offered politely.
Those cold blue eyes stayed locked on Chimney for a long moment before he blinked and focused on the phone in his hand.
“Hi... I’m sure that you are confused. Hurt and… uh.. really scared. I don’t know what to say. You don’t need to go to the police. Or come looking for me. I’m not in any danger and no one is making me do this. But Jee is not safe with me. Not now and maybe n-… I know that you’re gonna take really good care of her. And she’s better off without me… I love you. I love both of you. And I’m really sorry.”
A slow blink was the only reaction Maddie’s heartfelt video received for a long moment where time seemed to stand still. Then Jake nodded, offered the phone back to Athena and proceeded to tap on his tablet. Chimney glanced at Bobby who looked probably as flummoxed as he did by the man’s indifference, then glanced at Athena who didn’t seem bothered by it.
Finally, just when Chimney was ready to prod at him for a reaction, the man spoke up.
“Did she pack a bag? Did you notice any of her clothing missing?”
He blinked. “Uh… um… no. Not that I noticed. But-but that doesn’t mean anything. I-I didn’t check for it.”
“What did she pack for your daughter when she left her at the station?”
“Um… her diaper bag, a bottle of formula, her teething ring.”
Jake looked at Bobby. “Do you personally know Maddie, Captain Nash?”
“Just Bobby, please. Uh, yes, I do know her and we’ve met often socially. She is Howard’s girlfriend and one of my other firefighter’s, Buck’s, sister,” Bobby answered quickly.
Jake nodded. “So Maddie did not hand Jee-Yun over to you but went to another firefighter?”
“No.” Bobby glanced at Chimney then back at Williams. “We had had our three shifts combined to deal with the blackout situation. I stepped out to deal with a family emergency then returned to wrap the shift and wait for Captain Marchson to take over from me after he had had a short break. Captain Hoskins had just gone nearby for a bite. Maddie handed Jee-Yun over to the B shift probie, Ravi Panikkar, who was the only one on the floor at the time.”
Chimney personally thought Bobby had over explained himself. None of this extra stuff mattered! What mattered was that Maddie was missing and she needed to be found!
Williams inclined his head slightly. “Panikkar was the only person on the floor at the time or the only person in uniform on the floor at the time?”
Chimney scoffed silently. How did Ravi’s state of clothing matter?
“In uniform,” Bobby said quickly.
The man nodded and then those cold blue eyes focused right back on Chimney. “Maddie Kendall.”
Chimney frowned. “What?”
“Her name is Maddie Kendall, not Buckley.” He tapped the side of his tablet. “You stated her name for the report as Maddie Buckley.”
“Uh…” Chimney floundered for a moment. “Her-her maiden name is Buckley.”
“She’s a widow,” Athena added smoothly.
Williams nodded and clenched his jaw briefly before tapping the side of the tablet again. “Her legal name is Maddie Kendall. It would be wise for you to use her legal name so as to avoid complicating matters.”
Chimney felt sick even at the thought of referring to Maddie with that asshole’s last name. She was Buckley whether this jerk wanted to list her by it or not.
The man glanced at Athena then back at Chimney. “Tell me why you think Maddie Kendall is a missing person, Mr. Han.”
Chimney stared flabbergasted at the man. “Isn’t it obvious?” He threw out his hand to wave toward Athena. “The message she left! She’s looking off to the side. What if, what if someone coerced her to leave that message?!”
A slow, measured blink was the only response he received for a long moment that caused his blood to boil hotter at the way this man was treating this dire situation.
“Was Maddie involved in any situation with people who had cause to harm her?”
“What?! No! Of course not!” Chimney said passionately. Just what the hell was this asshole implying?
“Do you have any reason to offer me as to why you believe someone could have coerced Maddie to leave this message?”
Chimney shook his head. “No. I don’t know. She kept looking off to the side! That could be a clue, right?” He leaned forward. “Maddie wouldn’t just leave me. She wouldn’t just leave Jee-Yun. She wouldn’t!”
Athena cut in gently, “And she has PPD. That could be a factor, couldn’t it? She’s not well.”
Williams cut his gaze to her and he nodded before focusing back on Chimney. “Do you have anything else you think I may need to add to my report?”
Chimney finally felt relief trickle through him. The man believed him. He would file the report. “I-I tracked her to a bank in Oxnard. Maybe you could start checking for her there? Surely the bank would have CCTV footage you could check?”
Williams inclined his head and tapped on his tablet. “How did you track her to Oxnard, Mr. Han?”
The hair rose on the back of Chimney’s arm but he brushed the sense of foreboding aside and answered, “It was on her bank statement.”
“For a bank account you share with Maddie?” Williams asked casually.
The man’s continued casual tone rankled him. “No,” he said flatly.
Williams turned slowly to look at Athena, his eyebrows rising up a small amount before he turned and focused back on Chimney.
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Han.” He closed the lid on his tablet and stood up. “I’ll look into this.”
Chimney sat back, satisfied and relieved that he had been taken seriously by the detective. He noticed Athena and Bobby exchange a glance before Athena stood up and accompanied Williams to the door. Finally, now the cops would get on with their jobs and find Maddie for him.
—
Jake Williams pulled his seat belt on as he reflected on the meeting he had just left. He now understood why the joke about the 118 being cursed floated around in their circles in badge and ladder bars. He shuddered at the idea of his baby cousin dealing with these people.
“Suck it up,” he murmured to himself.
Pulling open a Google doc he selected the appropriate tab and glanced over the information he needed. The one pro of this situation that he could see immediately was that he knew exactly where to go next to do his due diligence by dotting his I’s and crossing his T’s.
“Right.” He put on the ‘00s Pop music that was his happy space music and began driving.
Twenty-five minutes later, as U2’s Beautiful Day played from his speakers, he pulled up to the 118 firehouse and parked before walking inside.
“Junior, is that you?”
He smiled at the booming call of Captain Hoskins. “Hey, Cap. How are you?” The man was just over a decade older than him and had only ever known Jake as Junior.
Captain Hoskins smiled as he came over. “I’m doing just fine. I'd hug you but ya know, the times we’re in.” He clasped Jake’s right arm and squeezed gently. “How’s the arm?” he indicated Jake’s left shoulder where Jake had taken a through and through two months ago.
Jake rotated his shoulder gently to show he had full range of motion back. “Back to working order. But I'm on light duty for another two weeks.”
“Good, good. Been praying for you.”
Jake inclined his head. “I appreciate it, Tom. I'm here about a case. If you don't mind and can spare him, I just need Panikkar for a quick chat.”
Thomas Hoskins raised his eyebrows. “This about Han's girlfriend?”
He merely nodded.
Hoskins nodded. “Yes, of course.” He turned his head and called up, “Ravi! Come down here!” He turned to Jake and indicated a door nearby. “If you need privacy you can use my office.”
“Thanks, but we'll step outside. Some vitamin D will do me good.” He glanced at Ravi coming down the stairs and smiled at Hoskins. “Thanks for your time. See you when I see you next I guess.”
“Ah, hopefully we have the department cookouts back up soon.” Hoskins laughed tiredly, “Soon being next year.”
It was Jake’s turn to clasp Hoskins’ arm and squeeze gently in commiseration.
“Ravi, this is Detective Williams. He'd like a word regarding the Han situation,” Hoskins said as Ravi joined them.
Ravi glanced between them and nodded. “Sure, Cap.”
Jake tilted his head toward the open doors and walked out to his car knowing Ravi would follow. He leaned against his car and looked over the young man with a little smile.
“Firefighter Panikkar, you look good.”
Ravi grinned. “Why thank you, Detective Williams.”
Jake noticed that Ravi’s body language didn’t loosen up. He continued holding himself straight, his posture solid. Yeah, the younger man was coming into his own.
“Your captain doesn't know we know each other,” he stated.
“Ah,” Ravi smiled bashfully, turning into the kid he remembered meeting and seeing grow up in front of his eyes, “no. HR thought it better this way. No chance of favoritism, you know?”
Jake nodded. He did know. He came from a family where there were first responders scattered in every generation. In his generation six of them were serving across the LAPD and LAFD. Seven if one counted Dylan. Eight if they collected Ravi as one of their own. Which they had.
He was tempted to take a minute to catch up with Ravi but knew now wasn’t the best time. Ravi could get called out at any moment.
“Let me get right to it and let you get back to your day. Tell me about the morning Maddie Kendall left her baby with you.”
“Umm,” Ravi put his hands on his hips, tilted his head back and stared up at the sky for a moment. He nodded and then focused on Jake. “We’d just been put on stand down from the blackout. We had a small crew who were on duty. So the heavy rescue assets and paramedics from A and C shift headed home, and B shift’s assets were resting. Everyone with families, particularly younger children, headed home. My crew was changing and I was on the floor as I’d already showered and gotten ready.”
Jake nodded encouragingly and didn’t interrupt him. He was happy to be getting a full picture from someone his past experiences had taught him he could trust.
“Maddie Buckley,” Ravi paused and frowned, “um Kendall?”
“Her legal name,” Jake provided smoothly.
“Oh. She didn’t change it when she… I mean…” Ravi trailed off, visibly confused.
“No, she didn’t. It’s her name, one she has lived with for a good part of her adult life,” Jake said gently. God, this generation seemed so young and idealistic. He hoped nothing ever shattered their world view and instead they got to gently experience life with a different lens.
“Yes. Right. Sorry.” Ravi blew out a breath. “Um, so… Maddie Kendall walked in and asked me to take the baby in the car seat from her. She also gave me an iPad and told me to make sure Han gets it and that she’d left a video message explaining it all to him in it.” He looked visibly uncomfortable. “I kept the baby with me and soon after Cap, um Captain Nash of A shift arrived back, so I told him what had gone down. He called Han to come back. Once he arrived, he told him the situation and I gave him the iPad.”
Jake inclined his head slightly. “Did you hear the message?”
“Uh, some of it. I already knew it had to be personal so I moved away pretty quickly. But um,” he bit his lip briefly then met Jake’s eyes and continued, “a baby had been left in my care. And it was up to me to hand her over to her father. I just,” he winced, “it sounds so entitled of me. I know that. But I felt like it was my duty to hear the message to ensure the baby hadn’t been… abandoned, I guess, and there wasn’t any other issue.”
Jake latched right onto those words. “Any other issue?” he asked lightly.
Ravi rubbed the back of his neck and blew out a breath. “Jake, I… I guess I’ve overheard a lot. People don’t notice me as the probie when I’m just here and there, you know? I heard a firefighter on A shift, Buck, um Buckley, he works with Han and is also Maddie’s brother, he’s been, complaining I guess, that since like soon after she had the baby, she’s been incommunicado often.”
“That could just be life with a new baby without even considering the pandemic,” he offered lightly.
Ravi shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, I guess. But it’s not just a complaint from like the first few months, you know? The baby was born in January, it’s September now. He’s barely seen his sister in person and she doesn’t really keep in touch. He’s not allowed to go over either.”
Jake narrowed his eyes at that word. “Allowed?” he asked carefully.
“Like, they won’t let him come over. Make excuses. Meet ups get canceled last minute citing some excuse. I mean, I guess it can all be legit and new parents thing, plus the pandemic, but how can the pandemic be the issue when Han works the same job Buck does?”
“Do you know who makes the excuses? Has Buckley heard from his sister or has Han been making the excuses for her? Or for them?”
Ravi tilted his head and Jake waited patiently. This conversation was proving to be more fruitful than he had expected it to be. He had gained a lot more from it than the bare facts he had come to verify. God bless helpful, trusting souls.
“I’m not certain. But I think it was Han who Buck was primarily interacting with about this.” Ravi shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I’m just not certain.”
Jake nodded his head. “You’ve given me plenty, Ravi. If I need to follow up on this, I may ask you to type up what you’ve shared with me today and send it to me. If that’s the case, I’ll send you an email on your LAFD email walking you through our new digital process.”
He definitely wanted Ravi’s statement added to the file he planned to open on Maddie Kendall, even if it was just for him to connect the dots at a later stage if he needed to. But not just yet.
“Of course. I’m happy to help. Is Maddie okay?”
“That’s what I’m working to find out.” Jake smiled at him. “Thank you for your time today, Firefighter Panikkar,” he said, a touch of pride in his tone as he stated Ravi’s designation. “I wish you a safe shift.”
Ravi smiled back. “It’s eerie how much you all sound like each other when you say your official goodbyes. I wish you a safe shift too.” He nudged his chin toward Jake’s arm. “Glad to see you out of the sling and back at it.”
“Thanks, kid. See you around.” Jake waved to him and moved to get into his car.
As he drove away from the 118 he decided he needed to speak to Maddie Kendall’s brother next.
—
Nineteen minutes later Jake was walking down the hallway to Buckley’s apartment. All the key players in this situation living in the vicinity of the 118 made moving around to them a smooth experience. As smooth as driving in Los Angeles could be at any rate. He knocked on the door and waited, glancing briefly at the ring cam.
The door opened seconds later and a tall, broad figure filled the doorway. He had recognized the man by name as the firefighter who had been caught under the ladder truck a few years ago. But to see him now… He looked young. Buckley had to be closer to Ravi’s age than Jake’s own of thirty-eight.
“Firefighter Buckley, I’m Detective Jake Williams from the LAPD. May we have a word?” he asked politely.
Buckley nodded immediately and stood aside. “Uh, yeah. Please come in. Is this about Maddie?” he asked immediately.
“Yes,” Jake said calmly. “I’d like to verify the facts of the report I have with me and then go over what you may like to add.”
“Yes, sure.” Buckley led him to the dining table and indicated he take a seat. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
“Cold water if you have some.” Being able to play host relaxed most people.
“Yeah, sure. I have regular cold water and a mint infused one if you’d like to try some?” Buckley said as he moved to the fridge.
“The mint one, please.” He took the time to glance around as he took a seat. The apartment was a loft. Not overly large, but good for a man Buckley’s age. Though he didn’t get how anyone who did the kind of job they did, where injuries arrived frequently, lived in a place where his bed meant a whole bunch of stairs. Then he figured it was no different than his father living in a house where he had to trudge upstairs to bed.
He nodded at the glass Buckley set down in front of him. “Thanks.” He took a sip of the water and found the hint of mint to be pleasantly cooling. “How long do you infuse the mint for?” he asked casually to make conversation. Buckley’s shoulders were tense and that wasn’t going to help the conversation he wanted to have.
“Oh, uh, I fill an infuser bottle or jug up in the night with water and the mint and leave it through the night. I take the mint out the next morning or eight to ten hours later and it’s good to go,” Buckley offered.
Jake nodded and took another sip. “What about lemon? My brother’s been making me infuse lemon slices in my bottle of water. He insists it’s good for me.”
Buckley nodded, “Lemon’s good. I was doing lemon and mint for sometime but I find with this heat that the lemon flavor was bothering me. It was annoying more than soothing so I switched to just mint.”
“I was thinking the same, to be honest. The mint is just so much more refreshing.” Jake picked up his tablet and flipped the lid, tapping it awake and getting right into the filled but not filed report on Maddie Kendall.
“What is your sister’s legal name?” He kept his tone bland and conversational. The usual bureaucratic tone that people were almost trained to just respond to.
“Uh, Maddie Kendall,” Buckley answered promptly.
Interesting that Buckley knew and immediately provided Maddie’s current legal name rather than the name he had known her by for more than half his life.
“What report is this?” Buckley asked suddenly.
He looked up from the screen to meet Buckley’s eyes. “A missing person’s report,” he replied smoothly.
“A missing person’s report?” Buckley frowned. “Who filed a missing person’s report on Maddie?”
Jake raised his eyebrows. His eyes flicked to the screen as if looking for the name then flicked back up to meet Buckley’s. “A Howard Han. Maddie’s boyfriend and the father of her child,” he said calmly.
“But she left. Is she still considered to be a missing person?” Buckley asked curiously.
Well, wasn’t this interesting. Jake tapped his finger against the side of the tablet. “She left? Of her own free will?” At Buckley’s nod, he prodded further. “How are you so sure of this?”
“Well,” Buckley paused and blinked rapidly. “Well, she left Chim, um, Howard, a video stating she was leaving. In it she specifically stated that he didn’t need to go to the police.” He paused again and swallowed hard. “And… and she called me,” he admitted softly.
Now we’re getting somewhere. “When did she call you and what was said on this call?” he asked gently. Here is where he may get the answers he was looking for.
Buckley sighed and slumped forward, resting his elbows on the table and dragging his hands down his face. “She called me the day she left,” he admitted softly. He met Jake’s eyes, “I… I haven’t told Chim.”
Jake dipped his head in acknowledgement. “Tell me the conversation you had with Maddie,” he said gently. It was simple to see that just being gentle with Buckley would get him all the answers he sought. Buckley wanted to help which was different than Han who just wanted Maddie Kendall found, whether she wanted to be or not.
“She-she called me and said she needed to figure some stuff out. And she-she was more worried about Chimney, you know? She asked me to check in on him and Jee-Yun and make sure they were okay.”
Jake nodded. “Did you know your sister is experiencing post partum depression?”
Buckley shook his head then paused and nodded. “I-I do now. I mean, Chim confirmed it after Maddie left. But-but I suspected, for the past few months.” He rubbed his palm over his mouth. “She-Maddie’s, she’s had a, I think it’s a history of depression.” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “She-we-our brother,” he paused and blinked rapidly.
Jake stayed silent to give the man time to gather himself and his thoughts together.
Buckley sighed. “She has a history of depression and-and staying in uncomfortable situations. But also of running away,” he admitted.
Jake waited. It almost felt like Buckley was confessing his sister’s secrets to him and feeling guilty about it. Which was quite normal in a sibling dynamic.
“We had a brother who died of cancer when I was a baby. Our parents made Maddie promise to never speak of Daniel again. They forced her at nine years old to forget the brother she had spent eight years with.”
Jake felt his mouth drop open in shock. Jesus Christ. He refrained from touching the cross he wore around his neck and crossing himself. May such people never find him.
Buckley swallowed and licked his lips. “When she was like eighteen-nineteen, she had a boyfriend. Doug Kendall. She left home and moved to Boston with him. She went to nursing school, he went to med school. They lived there for a number of years before moving back to our hometown of Hershey and marrying.”
Jake nodded to show that he was actively listening. Like Ravi, Buckley was proving to be immensely helpful in helping him form the picture he needed. One that he could base on facts rather than emotions.
“She hid from us, our parents and me and everyone, that Doug was physically and verbally abusive to her. When I was nineteen I begged her to come away with me. We’d-we’d both run away and get a new start. She agreed but then backed out and gave me her car keys instead to set me off to a good start on my own.”
He paused and blew out a breath. “She went no contact with me. I would send her post cards as proof of life to the hospital she worked at as I moved around. But she never called or emailed me. I eventually settled in LA in 2016 and attended the Fire Academy here and got a job with the LAFD. In 2018 I walked into my apartment one evening to find her just there. Back in my life after seven years of silence.”
Jake raised his eyebrows. “How did she know where you lived and gain access to your apartment?” he asked casually.
“Um, I’d sent her one last postcard that I was in LA now, with my last address. Apparently she went there, got my current address from my old housemates and,” he winced, “and flirted with the building manager to let her into my apartment.” He paused. “Well, it wasn’t my apartment. It was my girlfriend’s apartment. She was away on a trip and I was subletting from her.”
How very interesting. “Maddie had continued brushes with depression when she moved here?”
Buckley frowned and thought it over. “Yes. At least I think so. And PTSD.” He swallowed and licked his lips. “She-she had-has PTSD over the DV she experienced. And-and she worked at the Los Angeles Service Center. There she had calls where she broke the line by following the caller into their life to try to help them. Um, Doug, her ex husband,” he paused, “late husband? I consider him an ex because she had left him when he died.” He shook his head. “He um, he stalked her here to LA. He befriended Chimney and found out when Chim and Maddie’s first date was and stalked Chim to Maddie’s new place where he attacked Chim and left him for dead. Then he kidnapped Maddie. So PTSD from that. Maybe Chim has PTSD as well.” He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Jake felt they had veered way off of course from what he absolutely needed for this report but any information about a possible missing person was information worth having.
“Sorry. I feel like I kinda went off on a tangent,” Buckley admitted, an embarrassed flush on his face.
“No. It’s good that you’re painting me a picture about Maddie beyond just what I have, which is a report that she’s missing as claimed by her boyfriend and the father of her child.” Jake gentled his voice. “I have seen the video. In the video Howard showed me, Maddie states clearly that she left of her own free will.”
Buckley heaved a heavy sigh. “Try explaining that to Chimney and getting him to believe you.” He dragged his hands down his face again.
“When was the last time you saw Howard?”
“This morning,” Buckley admitted. “I went to see him and watch Jee-Yun cause he was meeting Bobby and Athena.” He met Jake’s eyes. “I guess about this report?”
Jake inclined his head. “Tell me, how did Howard seem to you? He seemed quite stressed out to me,” he offered gently.
Buck shook his head. “The same. Stressed. And,” he winced, biting down on his lip as if warring with what he wanted to say.
“Everything you say stays between us, Mr. Buckley,” Jake assured softly.
“Buck, please. Or Evan.” He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. “Chim, he-he was spiraling. He-he’s been watching the video Maddie left him. Over and over again. Replaying parts of it. Sure that she’s looking off screen at someone. That someone may be coercing her, making her make the video.” He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and worked it with his teeth for a moment.
Buckley slumped, as if he couldn’t hold onto this any longer. “He said he needed to make sure there’s no one out there that’s trying to hurt her. I told him no one wants to hurt Maddie. But he said Doug did. I-I reminded him that Doug is dead. And he,” he winced, “he questioned if he is, though? He asked me if I had seen Doug’s body, if anybody had. And that,” he paused and closed his eyes, shaking his head.
Blue eyes opened after a moment and focused on Jake. “He said the day after Maddie disappeared, she withdrew $20,000 out of a settlement account from a bank. In Oxnard. He thinks someone is maybe trying to coerce her. He said the money in that account came from Doug’s estate. And that Doug would have considered it his.” He shook his head. “I-I know Maddie inherited it all as his wife ‘cause he didn’t change his will. I didn’t realize Chimney had those details as well.”
He leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table. “I told him, that-that sometimes Maddie leaves. It’s what she does. She puts distance between herself and her problems. But he…he didn’t like hearing that. He asked what the problem was in this instance, him or their daughter.” He shook his head again and met Jake’s eyes. “She told him what the problem was,” he said softly. “That she felt Jee-Yun wasn’t safe with her.”
Jake took a sip of his water to give them both a moment—him to process everything Buckley had said and for Buckley to get a bit of a breather.
“Do you believe that Howard believed all that he was saying about Doug maybe having coerced Maddie, possibly from the grave?” he asked carefully. He needed to get a handle on Howard Han’s mental scape. The man was now the sole guardian of a child.
Buckley immediately shook his head. “I did ask him that. If he really believed anything he was saying to me. And he said… he said he really didn’t want to hate her. He didn’t want to believe she could do this to him and Jee-Yun.” He blew out a breath. “I told him he just had to give her time to come home. That I know my sister. But he said he thought he had known her too but now he’s not so sure which is why he has to keep watching the video.”
Jake nodded. “Do you believe or suspect that Maddie felt Jee-Yun isn’t safe with her because she’s experiencing PPD?”
Buck nodded. “I-I guess so. She’s been isolating herself for-for months. This entire year honestly.” He dragged his hand down his face. “God, has it been nine months?” He shook his head. “She gave birth and of course Covid protocols were in place so I didn’t see her or the baby in person until March. And that was a brief visit. Soon after there was the sniper situation targeting LAFD personnel.”
Jake immediately nodded. So that’s where he also recognized this man from. “You were the firefighter who saved your colleague. And climbed that tower,” he said, impressed at the young man’s bravery and skill.
Buckley flushed and nodded. “My colleague and friend, Eddie, he has a son, Christopher. I was busy for a few months helping with Eddie’s recovery and Chris’ care. So Maddie canceling on plans and not returning texts didn’t ping my radar as much. I figured new mom, messages were going to slip by. Chim continued giving me updates at work and showed me videos and pictures and such. But eventually I did suspect PPD just because my sister has had a history with depression.” He bit his lip briefly. “Our mother does too.”
Jake nodded slowly and asked the question he had planned to once Buckley had mentioned Han’s emotional state and reaction over the video. “Do you believe Howard Han to be capable at this time of taking adequate care of Jee-Yun Buckley Han?”
Buck immediately nodded. “He-Chim-he loves his daughter. He-this morning when we were talking, he stopped watching the video when Jee-Yun began crying and went right to her. Howard, he’s a good father. He loves Jee. Maddie-Maddie wanted him to take care of Jee.”
Jake nodded soothingly. It was time to turn the conversation before Buckley shut down speaking over his defense of Han.
“I’m going to look into this. But I have to tell you now, Evan, that your sister, Maddie Kendall, does not qualify as a missing person. She does qualify as a Voluntary Missing Adult. Due to her potentially altered mental and emotional state, I will enter her into the system as a Voluntary Missing Adult-Welfare Concern. What this means is that law enforcements job, if and when they come across her, is to verify her welfare. If she is determined to be safe and sound, we will not disclose her location or any further information to you or Howard. Beyond that, we cannot violate Maddie’s right to privacy. She has the right to walk away from her current life.”
He kept his tone gentle, knowing this wasn’t comfort. It was finality.
—
That evening Jake went over all the facts and evidence that he had in the Maddie Kendall file.
Maddie had taken the time to record a cohesive video message for her boyfriend. In the message she looked tired, sounded emotional but also sounded certain of herself.
He nodded and added a transcript of the video message to the file while adding a note that the video message itself was saved on the cloud for now.
Maddie had handed over her baby to a firefighter in her boyfriend’s firehouse along with the iPad that contained the video message. She had not sent him the video message directly.
There were no signs of immediate danger.
Her boyfriend was very aware that she had left voluntarily and yet had attempted to file a missing person’s report on her. He had also knowingly attempted to file the report under her maiden name. Han had misrepresented the situation.
He had found no evidence of coercion.
He drummed his fingers on the desk debating with himself if he wanted to add the rest of what he had found out and what he suspected.
Could he add Buckley’s name to the report? Note down the Voluntarily Missing Adult had reached out to her brother asking him to watch out for her boyfriend and their child? He knew there was no hope of keeping it confidential if he did. He knew Sergeant Grant was monitoring the situation. He suspected it most likely that she would inform Han about it.
He tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. While Han may do well with the confirmation that his girlfriend had left voluntarily, with the current highly emotional state he was in, where he was desperately seeking an answer, the possibility of him lashing out at Buckley was also high.
He straightened up and decided against adding the insight he had received due to his conversation with Buckley to it for now. He wanted to see if Grant did anything with the report first. He needed to be sure they were on similar pages, if not the same page, about Maddie Kendall.
He straightened up and read over his report. Then filed the case.
Maddie Kendall: Voluntary Missing Adult - Welfare Concern Only
—
The next morning, Jake wished he could be surprised that he had been called in to Captain Maynard’s office. He hoped it wasn’t for what he thought it was over.
His hope that Sergeant Grant realized she was overly invested in her husband’s team and needed to take a step back died a rapid death when he stepped into the office and found Grant present as well.
“Captain Maynard, Sergeant Grant, morning,” he said politely.
The tightening of the Sergeant’s jaw told him everything he needed to know. She had accessed the Maddie Kendall file.
“Detective Williams,” Captain Maynard smiled wryly and inclined her head, “Jake, have a seat.” She sighed and waved her hand over the laptop screen facing her. “Please explain this to me. The Maddie Kendall file.”
“Am I being asked to defend my first case back after medical leave?” he asked lightly as he took a seat and set his tablet down. He had gotten quite comfortable with taking it around with him and moving between it and his phone to work rather than paper.
“No.” Maynard sighed. “Your competency isn’t in doubt here or being called into question, Jake. Athena just, she has some concerns. I’d like it if we could discuss it.”
Jake inclined his head. “Certainly.” He didn’t bother to point out that this case was not under Captain Maynard’s purview and he was not required to explain anything to her. She was a captain but she was not his captain. He glanced at Athena then back at Maynard. “Should I explain my report and then we can discuss it?” At her nod, he flipped open his tablet and pulled up the file he had left handy as he had been expecting this.
“Maddie Kendall does not qualify as a Missing Person. But as she does have documented post partum depression, and a history of depression, I felt comfortable listing her as a VMP with a welfare check if found. The report was brought to us by her boyfriend who knowingly misrepresented the facts that he knew of. He also knowingly attempted to file the report under her maiden name rather than her legal name. The legal name that is on the birth certificate that she filed for their daughter. He has a video message from Maddie telling him not to call the police and that she was leaving voluntarily.”
He paused when Athena interrupted him. “But she has PPD! It-”
Athena stopped speaking abruptly when Maynard held up her hand. “Let him finish, Athena,” she said firmly. “Continue, Jake.”
He blinked once to display his frustration at the way this was going. He decided reciting some facts were going to get him nowhere so he flicked to Maddie’s video transcript and began speaking it in his flattest tone possible.
“To quote Maddie, ‘Hi. I’m sure that you are confused. Hurt and really scared. I don’t know what to say. You don’t need to go to the police. Or come looking for me. I’m not in any danger and no one is making me do this. But Jee is not safe with me. Not now and maybe… I know that you’re gonna take really good care of her. And she’s better off without me. I love you. I love both of you. And I’m really sorry.’ End quote.”
He glanced from Maynard to Athena and saw the impact of hearing Maddie’s words without her emotional tone and big, teary eyes to go along with it. He focused back on Maynard.
“Maddie demonstrated intent and planning. She made sure she went to the firehouse after she knew Han had left. She handed the baby over to a firefighter she was familiar enough with but who is not part of her boyfriend’s circle of work friends. She left without waiting to run into Captain Nash, Han’s Captain.”
“To this, I have additional history from Maddie’s brother, Evan Buckley.” He glanced between the two women. “Information I did not add to the file and I left Buckley’s name off, so that we may first have this conversation.” He knew very well what he was implying here and he did it anyway.
Maynard briefly closed her eyes. “You expected Athena to check the report.”
“Yes,” he confirmed even though it hadn’t been phrased as a question. “May I ask if you have already informed Han that Maddie has not been filed as a Missing Person?” he asked Athena.
Athena’s jaw tightened. “Yes. He’s a friend. You would have done the same.”
Jake felt his own jaw tighten. “With respect, Sergeant Grant, I wouldn’t have. Not with these facts.” His tone was meant as a barb and he didn’t care that it hit.
“Jake, Athena,” Maynard said firmly.
Jake looked at Maynard. “If I may present you with the facts?” At her nod, he glanced at Athena and continued. “Maddie has a past history of depression. Her late husband was verbally and physically abusive to her through the entirety of their marriage. She is a survivor of domestic violence. She removed herself from Doug Kendall with intent and planning and came to Los Angeles from Hershey, Pennsylvania.”
He looked at Athena, “I would greatly hope you keep what I say next between us.” Only once she nodded did he continue. “Maddie reached out to her brother via a phone call the day she left. It was a brief call in which she asked him to watch over Han and the child, Jee-Yun. While this may be information that helps Han, it is also information that I feel may result in him lashing out at Buckley. Currently the man is spiraling and looking for answers where there aren’t any.”
“Han admitted to Buckley that he suspected that Maddie may have been coerced to make the video.” He inclined his head, “By Doug Kendall.”
Maynard leaned forward, surprise painted over her face. “But he’s dead,”
“Yes. When Buckley pointed this out to him, Han said they never saw a body to verify it themselves.” He was gratified to notice the disbelief on both their faces. He pushed on. “Han admitted to opening Maddie’s bank statement and finding out that she withdrew a large amount from the account that held her late husband’s estate.” He was relieved that that point also landed hard with Maynard even though Athena wasn’t surprised by it. “It’s a federal offense for Han to have opened Maddie’s mail.”
He glanced between them. “Currently, Han appears fixated, unnaturally and highly emotionally so, on Maddie Kendall. He does not want to admit that she has voluntarily left him and their daughter behind. Buckley explained to him that Maddie has a pattern of leaving and putting distance between her life and her problems to take the time to process. That is what her brother has experienced with her. Han was unhappy to hear it and was unaccepting of it.”
He closed the tablet and looked between them. “I have worked Missing Person’s for a decade now. What I’m reading is a man fixated on a woman who voluntarily walked away from her life. From him. I will add what I gleaned from Buckley to the case file, her history of depression and of having walked away from her life previously, but I hope we can keep Maddie Kendall’s privacy and autonomy in mind here.”
Athena sighed heavily. “But she has PPD. She has been isolating for months. This could all just have been too much with the timing of the blackout and her being left with the baby for days on end.”
Jake stared at her. “She has been isolating for months,” he repeated her words. “And her boyfriend was aiding her in doing so. He had options, Sergeant Grant. He could have stepped out to check in on her.”
He decided to get personal in hopes she gained some perspective. “Your husband worked under the same circumstances and he stepped out to support you. Han could have asked friends, family, someone to step in and check on her if he felt uncomfortable with her being alone for days on end in trying circumstances. He could have gone to check on his family. He did none of it. So is his emotional state now born from the guilt he feels over possibly abandoning her at a time when she perhaps needed her partner’s support?”
He relaxed minutely as he saw Athena finally relax her body language. Finally.
“We can’t turn Maddie Kendall into a victim just to make it easier for everyone around her to accept that she left.” His words were careful because he couldn’t say what he was thinking—that they couldn’t turn Maddie Kendall into a victim just so a man whose girlfriend left him and their child could feel better about it. He didn’t have it in him to be that cruel.
“What about protecting Maddie in the frame of mind she’s in?” Athena asked.
Jake suspected it was more conversational than adversarial so he modulated his tone a comforting one. One that he used with the families he had to speak to when a loved one was missing.
“Protecting Maddie means respecting her autonomy at this point in time by not chasing after her or turning her into a victim when she isn’t one.”
Athena’s shoulders slumping told him he had finally conveyed the message he had wanted to.
—
“Maddie took Jee-Yun to the emergency room.” Chimney hurried past Buck into his apartment.
“Uh, o-okay,” Buck said hesitantly.
Chimney turned and faced him. “It was during the blackout. There was some kind of accident. Maddie was bathing her and the baby slipped under the water. That’s what she meant when she said Jee-Yun wasn’t safe with her.”
“But Jee-Yun is fine.”
“Yes, exactly, she’s fine. But Maddie is out there somewhere, beating herself up because she lost grip of a slippery child. She needs to know that this wasn’t her fault.”
“And she’ll figure that out if you give her time.”
“Time? She needs me. I’m going after her.”
“Well, sh-she said she didn’t want you to do that, right?”
“But, you’re not listening. She exiled herself because she thinks she’s a danger to the baby. I can’t leave her alone like that, believing that, thinking the worst of herself. She needs to know.”
“Know what? That you love her? That you support her? Chim, she knows. What she needs is time, and she will come home.”
Something struck him at that moment and he focused more closely on Buck. “Why weren’t you surprised? When I told you that Jee-Yun almost drowned, you didn’t even blink. It wasn’t until I said that I was going after Maddie…” He shook his head, “Did you know?”
“Ch-Chim, Chimney…” Buck stuttered.
“She told you? Is that it? She called you and you already knew about this because she told you? Where is she, Buck?”
“I-I… I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me.”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What had Buck done. WHY had he done this to him? “Eight… days. You have waited eight days while you have seen the hell I’ve been going through and you didn’t tell me?”
“She-she said she was fine, you know? She-she just needed to figure some stuff out. And she-she was more worried about you. She-she asked me to check in on you and Jee-Yun and make sure that you’re okay.”
Chimney, in that moment, did not lose control. Not in the way it mattered. He just dropped the hold he had on his emotions—his rage, his hurt, his anger, his panic—and channeled it through his body toward the one person he could right now.
A thin, ugly frisson of relief coursed through him as he punched Buck in the face hard enough that the much larger man reared back and down in shock.
“I’m not okay,” he spit out at Buck and rushed back out the door.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
Regret began poking at the hot rage that had enveloped him just seconds ago. By the time he made it downstairs and got into his car, regret had begin climbing up his gut and clawed at his throat.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.
He felt bile rising up his throat and swallowed it back. No, no, no. He hadn’t fucked up. He hadn’t!
Buck deserved it for keeping such a thing from him. Maddie was his girlfriend. The woman he loved. The mother of his child. He had a right to know that she had contacted Buck. It didn’t matter that Buck was her brother. Maddie and he shared a child together and Buck didn’t deserve to get a phone call while all he got was a video message!
He turned his car on and drove away. He was going to set his plan in motion. He didn’t care what Buck thought about it. Asshole.
—
Twenty minutes later he got home and began packing. He was going to go search for Maddie. First he’d go to Oxnard and see if he could chase down any leads himself since that detective had turned out to be utterly useless to him. Then, he’d follow any other trail, paper or otherwise, any breadcrumb that he found.
He scoffed. Voluntary Missing Adult. What fucking bullshit was that?! Maddie had only left because she thought she was a danger to Jee-Yun. She had left because she had called her useless brother who had not stopped her.
His hands clenched in the clothes he was packing. He took a deep breath and worked on relaxing himself. He had known that Buck was no good. The kid was a fuck up. Useless. Immature. And he had gone and proven it all over again by not stopping Maddie from running away.
Maddie leaves. It’s what she does.
He slammed the suitcase shut and zipped it up. Fuck that narrative! Maddie stayed. She had stayed after Doug. She only left now because Buck hadn’t even thought to ask her to stay. If she had called him, he would have reassured her that she was a good mom, a brilliant mom to their daughter.
He nodded as he grabbed the suitcase and lifted it off the bed. He would find her. He would find Maddie and prove to her that she was a good mom. Then he would bring her back home where they could continue being a family. And who wouldn’t be a part of that family would be one Evan Buckley.
Uncle Buck. He snorted derisively. He couldn’t believe he’d been so excited for Buck to be an uncle to his daughter. So desperate for his daughter to have biological family that he’d been happy with a selfish human being like Buck being that family. Well not anymore. Uncle Buck was dead to him. He was not going to allow his baby girl to be around such a horrible man.
—
Early the next morning as he fed Jee-Yun breakfast, he sent Hen a text to let her know that he was leaving.
A short while later he was loading up the car with their stuff. He didn’t know how long he would be away for but he had the space so he had packed well. For himself and Jee-Yun. And a bag for Maddie too.
He’d bring her back with him. He was not going to return without her. He would be the one man who has never failed Maddie Buckley. Fuck Williams and his insistence on using Kendall.
He tapped on his phone and brought it up to his ear as it rang, then frowned as he heard Hen’s ringtone playing behind him.
“Seriously, Chimney?”
He glanced up and tried to smile when he saw Hen coming towards him.
“You were gonna call me on your way out of town?”
“Or leave you a heartfelt voicemail,” he said, finally able to smile wryly at his best friend. “Actually, I was calling to see if we could come by right now.”
“You’re really doing this.”
He nodded, “I’m really doing this. You’re not here to try and talk me out of it, are you?”
Hen smiled and shook her head. “Hell, no. I’m here to see if you wanted a driving partner.”
Chimney softened. God, Hen really was the best. “What would your wife have to say about that?”
Hen made a sound of discomfort, “After yesterday, I think she’d understand.”
Chimney pressed his lips together. “Yeah. Eddie told me about that. So many life lessons. They just keep coming, don’t they?”
They shared a laugh and it felt so good to just… relax and feel normal in this moment in time. To share a laugh and a joke over how difficult adulting was.
“I’d like to go just a few days without learning anything, anything at all.”
“Right?”
As they shared another light laugh, the rage inside him finally quietened. He was at peace for the first time in days. In weeks. Maddie had only let him help her to a point with her PPD. Now, this time, when he found her, things would be different. He’d be more present. He’d insist a little harder, he’d remind her, convince her better that she was a good mother. The best!
“So do you even know where you’re going?
“Nope,” Chimney admitted easily. “I know that she made a withdrawal from some bank in Oxnard. I thought I’d start there.”
“Oxnard,” Hen laughed. “Some really, really important journeys start there, don’t they?”
“Yeah, I heard that.”
Hen sighed. “Are you sure you’re coming back?” she asked through tears.
“Not without her.”
This he was firm on. He was not going to return without Maddie. He would find her and bring her back with them. They would be a family again.
“Then you go find her. You go find her.”
As they embraced he hoped he wouldn’t start crying as well. Because he was on the brink of it. Overwhelmed from days on the edge. He pulled back and nodded at her, then moved toward the car. I am not okay.
Hen cleared her throat. “Be safe, okay?”
Chimney chuckled. “Hey, you know me.”
Hen laughed, “I do. Hence the request, rebar-skull.”
Chimney smiled. “Karen’s a lucky woman,” he said honestly. Hen was the best.
Hen smiled back warmly. “So’s Maddie.”
I am not okay. “Let’s hope she sees it that way.”
He smiled at her then got into his car and drove away from the place he lived toward the woman who made his apartment a home. I am not okay.
He was sure she would understand.
Why he couldn’t let Buck be a part of their lives anymore.
She would have to understand. Because if she didn’t, then none of this meant anything.