Archive of Our Own

With his damp face sticking to the sheets, ass smarting with every push of Jaemin’s hips, deliriously, Donghyuck can’t help but giggle. Jeamin gets so chatty during his ruts, and he’s been saying the same thing for the past however minutes he’s had him pressed like this, a jambled murmur of take it, just take it, it’ll stick this time being mouthed against the back of his neck. He’s always amazed by how… careful Jaemin is even during his ruts, because even though his hands are squeezing Donghyuck’s wrists tight, and his hips fuck into him so hard it shakes the bed against the wall, there’s no pain, just mind numbing pleasure that leaves his mind clouded.

They don’t take what the other says during their cycles to heart. Too many hormone-addled thoughts, hardly ever something they would voice out loud during normal circumstances, so Donghyuck just closes his eyes and does exactly that: he takes it.

But he keeps thinking about it. Two weeks out of Jaemin’s rut, and the memories keep popping in his mind at the randomest times. He can almost feel the phantom touch of Jaemin’s hand on his lower stomach, possessive, promising to knot him, to knock him up with his pups. He’d sounded so sure of it too, and even though Donghyuck knew how unlikely it’d be, being on the pill and all, he can’t help but feel disappointed when the pregnancy tests come out negative, all three of them. It’s an impulse then, almost driven by instinct, to book an appointment with his gynecologist that Monday, nine sharp, and not say a peep to anyone, least of all Jaemin.

Jaemin and Donghyuck have been an on-and-off something for a couple years. Never serious, never put a name to it, other than knowing the other will be there as long as they’re both single and wanting. It has worked great for them, even at their friend’s confusion, who try to not get involved in all that mess, as they like to call it. This past year, though, has been more on than off, for reasons he tried not to investigate too much. Because unfortunately for Donghyuck, no one could fuck him quite like Jaemin could, every single time, always to the point of tears, until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Tale as old as time, he thought he’d have it all under control. He told himself he wouldn’t catch feelings, and had the audacity to believe it. 

Initially, it worked great. As usual, they fucked, they hung out with their friends, they got drinks every once in a while, and the world kept spinning. Unbeknownst to him, the shift happened slowly, without Donghyuck noticing until his heart felt like it was squeezed too tight when he looked at Jaemin, and he knew he was truly fucked when he deleted all dating apps from Jaemin’s phone without telling him –and checks that they remain gone every few days, no longer having silly excuses to come up with to grab Jaemin’s phone but not really needing any. 

It’s still confusing to him how it went from liking Jaemin, to trying to get pregnant without him realizing. He can’t help feeling ridiculous while flushing his birth control down the toilet, and then shoving the remaining trash to the bottom of the can to hide the evidence. He feels even weirder when he texts Jaemin to come over, even though his response back is as routinary as anything (a simple kay, be there in 30). His doctor’s sage face flashes in his mind as he watches the pills disappear. It won’t happen immediately, is what she’d told him when he asked if it would be difficult to conceive, especially outside of heat, though not impossible. His body has years of hormones to re-establish, for his body to make sense of this new direction again. Those words though, not impossible, bounced around his mind every time he started to second guess himself. Donghyuck isn’t scared; Jaemin’s the type of alpha that will make it happen no matter what. For now, he just has to bid his time.

It’s never hard to get Jaemin to come over, just a few texts and thirty minutes later he’s there, takeout bags on one hand, phone in the other. Donghyuck doesn’t even need to open the door for him, just wait for Jaemin to press the four-digit code, the click of a lock, all the familiar quiet sounds as he rids himself of his sneakers and pads into the living room to place the food on the coffee table. He realizes Donghyuck’s just been staring at him from behind a wall the whole time, but in his very Jaemin manner, he doesn’t even react to it. He stretches instead, arms high above his head to expose the muscled planes of his stomach, then drops on the couch and luxuriates on it like a spoiled cat, taking so much space Donghyuck has no choice but to squeeze himself next to him when he goes to take a seat as well, immediately feeling cornered and small. Jaemin’s good at that, at making his instincts flare up in alarm. 

“Hey,” he says, squeezing his legs together, scooting so there’s at least some modicum of space between them, that Jaemin respects for all of five seconds. He’s wrapping himself around Donghyuck like a boa constrictor within seconds, arms squeezing tight and head snuggled beneath his jawline. “Oh my God, man, relax.” 

Jaemin does not hear him, or pretends not to, too busy sniffing him like a dog. He inhales deeply before letting the breath go, brushing all hot and damp against his warm skin, sending a shiver down his spine that only worsens when Jaemin starts scenting him. He does this every single time they spend even a few hours apart, like Donghyuck smelling like anything other than him is an issue he singlehandedly has to fix before doing anything else. Donghyuck lets him, going limp in his hold as Jaemin’s mint and cinnamon scent wraps around him like a blanket. He smells sweeter than most alphas, and stronger too –Donghyuck can always find him before anyone else, just following that comforting scent– the undertone of mint seeping so well Donghyuck swears he can taste it, right underneath his tongue, unescapable. 

Usually, Jaemin’s scenting feels like a well-run routine, comforting and relaxing at the end of a tiring day. He’s not sure what kind of demonic entity has seeped and taken control of his brain, but instead of calming him, Donghyuck feels his chest tighten up, breaths coming in short through his parted lips. There’s saliva pooling at the back of his mouth, thick when he swallows it, and then he feels it, throbbing at his core as something warm spreads in his shorts. It almost feels like his heat, though he knows they’re still a few months from then, but it’s that animalistic instinct that has him whining and craning his neck so Jaemin can get closer to the vulnerable scent gland there. He gets so sugary when wet, ripe mandarins, vanilla almost to the point of burning, so cloying even to his own sensitive nose, but Jaemin loves it, seeks it every moment that he can.

He doesn’t have to see to know Jaemin can smell it, the way his whole body freezes for a few long seconds before he’s squeezing him even tighter is enough of a tell. “Oh?” he gasps, quiet and teasing, so close Donghyuck can feel the smile that spreads on his face, wide and pleased. “Does that feel good, hmm?”

He uses the tip of his tongue to wet the scent gland, tasting the pheromones right from the source. Jaemin swears up and down that it tastes just as good as his slick, a ridiculous notion that has him flushing even though he knows it’s full of shit. His lips close tight against it, sucking until he’s sure a mark will form there tomorrow, and all Donghyuck can do is clutch at the strong muscles of Jaemin’s back as he continues to leave a nice ring of wet bites across his neck, from one scent gland to other just like a damn collar.

He’s familiar with begging, but right now the words get stuck in his throat. He doesn’t know what to ask for, how to tell Jaemin that he needs him so deep inside it literally, fundamentally, changes his body, his whole life. So at the lack of words he simply has to cling tighter, using the leverage of his body to climb his way onto Jaemin's lap. He settles in heavily, squirming his hips until he finally settles flush against the bulge in his sweatpants. He’s not even hard yet, still so big and heavy just a swivel of his hips has him rubbing up so good and well against his clothed pussy. Jaemin finally manages to untangle their bodies, so he can instead lean back on the couch, looking up at Donghyuck with a smug expression, settling his wide hands on his hips, stopping him from rubbing one out on him like he really wants.

“If you wanted to fuck you could’ve just said so,” Jaemin comments, eyes roaming his face before he follows the lines of his body. It’s like he just realized the way he’s dressed, with the tiny shorts Donghyuck bought because Jaemin ripped the original pair, and one of his ridiculous cat shirts that is three sizes too big. “No need to play coy, baby.”

Donghyuck flushes, subtly trying to take a deep breath while also keeping his body still. He feels needy and desperate, but too embarrassed to admit defeat just yet. “Asking you to hang out is like asking you to fuck, since we end up doing it anyway.”

Finally, Jaemin uses his hold to rub their crotches slowly, and Donghyuck feels his cock twitch against him, growing thicker between them. He has to bite on the inside of his cheek to hold in the sigh trying to escape as Jaemin goes in a slow circle, fingers tightening imperceptibly on him. He’s sure Jaemin can’t feel it, the way he’s getting so wet it’s staining his shorts and seeping through the fabric, but one corner of his mouth lifts as if he already knows anyway. 

“It’s a great way to spend our time,” he assures, lifting his hips to grind back in time with his hands pulling at Donghyuck’s body. It’s slow, a torturous drag that sort of hurts more than anything, but he grunts like it’s the fucking best. “So what do you want, baby? What do you need?”

He doesn’t need to answer, Jaemin is touching him like he knows better than Donghyuck himself, clinging closer to Jaemin until he can finally kiss him. For just a moment, a moment before Jaemin kisses him back just as fiercely, it feels like Donghyuck hadn’t been breathing until then; his chest expands, releases and unclenches, the feeling of Jaemin’s lips soft and willing beneath his relaxing every muscle of his tense back. 

The sweetness, the relief, doesn’t last long. It gets wet fast, Jaemin’s jaw propping wide so their tongues can meet, tangle, a messy swipe across Donghyuck’s teeth that never stops being weird no matter how many times Jaemin does it. He loves it, God, he loves kissing Jaemin. Before him, Donghyuck didn’t know kisses could feel so encompassing, and it’s hard to focus on anything but softening his jaw as well and let Jaemin lick his way inside. Somehow it’s always the right amount of tongue, even as spit starts dribbling down his chin, all the heat and damp does is drive Donghyuck drunker, until he’s being held up with Jaemin’s strength only, melting into his lap, mewling at every bite that gets soothed with his tongue. When he starts rubbing himself again, he finds Jaemin’s cock hard and meeting him with every roll of their bodies, hot through the layers separating them. He can’t kiss Jaemin back anymore, panting openly into his mouth, eyes rolling back behind shut lids. It feels so hot, hot everywhere in the room, their bodies, so good Donghyuck almost forgets what he was even supposed to do, other than chase his orgasm just like this. 

Then Jaemin stops trying to kiss him, too, groaning into his mouth instead. “Wait, wait,” he’s murmuring, even if neither put any effort into stopping at all. “Let me get the condoms, hold on.” 

Like a switch turned on, Donghyuck freezes, blood growing cold for a second. Jaemin tries to stand, wrapping an arm around him so as to not dislodge him, and all Donghyuck can do is whine. A pathetic noise that rumbles in his chest, thighs tightening around Jaemin’s hips as he shakes his head. Jaemin’s still wearing his shirt, and he fists it at the shoulders, almost thinking about thumping his fists on them but deciding against it at the last second.

“Jaem, no, c’mon,” he’s shaking his head as he says it, both in distress but also to clear his mind, because he’s too fucking horny and scared and needy to think properly. “I’m on the pill, remember?”

Jaemin pauses, wild eyes finally turning to find him, studying his face. He tries to school it into something that doesn’t look too desperate, unsure if he succeeds or not. 

“You hate the mess, though.”

He shrugs back, releasing the shirt so he can instead play with the hem, fingers teasing at the tense muscles there. “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbles, and then when Jaemin still doesn’t relax, he pulls the shirt over his chest, shoulders, all the way off, relieved when the fabric cuts his intense staring for a little bit, at least, ruffling his sweaty hair before finally throwing it over the back of the couch. “You’ll help me clean later, won’t you?” 

He says in a voice so coy it shocks even him, but it must activate something in Jaemin’s dumb Alpha brain, his eyes going all dark and gooey, canines glinting in the light as his lips curl in the lightest of snarls, so many teeth on display. Before he realizes it’s happening, Jaemin’s pulling his own shirt off as well, eyesight obscuring for just a second before Jaemin is there again, all flushed, skin glinting with sweat, cinnamon burning at the back of his tongue. He’s kissing him again, full bodied –chests pressed tight, legs twitching in hopes of bringing them closer. The only thing that could have distracted him would’ve been Jaemin hand’s finally dropping from his waist, a slow caress that ends when he finally gets to cup his ass in his palms. He’s always grabbing at Donghyuck like he weighs nothing, his fingers so strong he swears each fingertip burns a mark, his grip firm as he rolls their hips together in a delicious circle. 

And then he’s using that strong grip to rip the shorts open by the seam at the middle, the fabric tearing loudly in his ears, startling him back to reality. 

“Again, seriously?” Donghyuck asks, and he swears it’s exasperated, but breathless as he is, he can hardly even understand himself. “You’ll have to replace them yourself this time, asshole.”

He doubts Jaemin’s listening. He’s squeezing his ass so hard it makes Donghyuck sit up in his lap, and then the fingers of his right hand quickly slide lower, pausing at the seam between cheek and thigh before they find his folds. His breath hitches, eyes stuck on Jaemin’s face as he brushes the tips of his fingers lightly between his lips, wetting his fingertips with the slick there. Just that small caress has Donghyuck clenching tightly, as if Jaemin will put something, anything, inside him if he wants it bad enough. His middle finger dips in further, brushing against his hole but not penetrating, just gathering the wetness before reaching higher, higher. The first brush against his clit has Donghyuck moaning, loud and humiliating at such a simple touch. Jaemin smiles at the sound, stupidly smug, making a small circle against the nub to spread the slick well. 

“No underwear, and your pussy’s dripping like this?” Jaemin starts, and all too soon his hand is gone, but Donghyuck doesn’t even get to whine pathetically before Jaemin’s lifting his fingers and sucking them into his mouth eagerly, tongue working to lick them clean. His face does something obscene then, eyes rolling back, nostrils flaring with a rough breath as he pops them out. “Baby, you’ve been dying for it, haven’t you? I’ve left you alone for too long, hmm?”

And he shouldn’t, he doesn’t want to, but he’s nodding before he can stop it, worlds tumbling out of his mouth. “Yes, Alpha, I need it.”

It’s incredible to watch how Jaemin’s pupils further dilate, until there’s only a thin ring of brown surrounding them, eyes dark and heady. “Need what?”

Donghyuck takes his bottom lip between his teeth, hesitating only to watch Jaemin grow desperate beneath him. “Your cock, Alpha,” he grabs Jaemin’s wrist and guides it to his stomach, lower on his navel, shivering when his damp fingers land cold on his feverish skin. “Need your cock right here.”

Jaemin makes a rough sound, something that has his neck bending in submission. He lifts up to his knees for a few seconds, helping Jaemin to push the band of his sweats and underwear low enough to finally release his erection. He’s thick and long, intimidatingly so, but Donghyuck’s used to it, made for it, rubbing the wet tip with his palm to spread the precome beading at the slit. He loves the way it glides between his fingers, thumb following the thick vein in the middle, and soon enough he’s adjusting on his knees again, holding the base steady as he presses the head to his hole. 

Jaemin shifts on the couch, letting him go in favor of leaning back on it, stretching his arms on the backrest. He smirks at him, eyes lidding lower as he stares intently. “It’s all yours, sweetheart.” And even though it’s an annoyingly Alpha thing to say, and he looks so fucking smug Donghyuck wants to get off of him just on principle, he makes it sound sweet somehow.

The tip always feels blunt as he first presses in, Donghyuck thinks, taking a deep breath before starting the low descent. His thighs ache with the effort of holding his body steady, lowering himself slowly until the head finally pops inside. It’s an instant relief, his body adjusts as Jaemin’s shaft keeps sinking in. Without condoms, Jaemin feels like he’s burning, every inch stretching him well and good, having to prop his thighs just that bit wider to compensate the stretch. 

If Donghyuck’s being honest, he hates being on top. He likes to sit there and look pretty while Jaemin does all the hard work, but for the first time in a while, he feels excitement fluttering in his chest as he lifts up again, just halfway, before dropping again, fast and hard. 

“Ah, fuck,” he pants, breath hitching as he does it again, higher and slower this time, feeling the stretch until their hips are pressing tightly once again, sticking their skin together with the wetness gathering between his thighs. Jaemin won’t always knot for him, but he must be in a good mood today, Donghyuck feels it rubbing just underneath his clit as he sits down heavily. “‘S just… so much.” 

The words are slurred, hardly intelligible, but it’s true. Jaemin feels so fucking deep, like Donghyuck’s being split apart, hardly able to keep himself stitched together. He touches his palm to his navel again, where Jaemin’s saliva had left its sticky mark. It’s not physically possible, but if he presses hard enough he knows he might feel something, something where Jaemin’s cock has bullied itself inside him and buried in deep. 

“Take your time,” Jaemin tells him, ever caring even as his voice is strained, all his muscles clenched tight with the effort to keep still. Donghyuck grinds his hips again, a small circle that has the cock inside him press on his walls, rub against his mound, making his body twitch. That’s good, so good, and he does it again, eyes squeezing shut as the sensations almost become too much. 

“Wanna come,” he doesn’t know if he’s asking for permission or simply warning him, either way his fingers drop from his stomach right between his legs, finding his swollen clit and pressing in a tight circle to match the sway of his pelvis. He feels so obscenely wet he can only wonder again if maybe his heat did come early somehow. Jaemin’s scent hits him like a brick wall, cinnamon and mint hitting him so strongly at once all Donghyuck can do is bend over, face pressed tightly against Jaemin’s neck where it’s thickest, and come. His orgasm comes in waves, his whole body twitching and shivering, clenching without rhythm, eyes shut so tight lights start shining behind his eyelids. 

Vaguely he can feel Jaemin’s hands on him, his strong arms wrapping around his waist so he can hold him tightly, murmuring sweet things against the shell of his ear, but Donghyuck can hardly process anything other than the throbbing going through his body, the burning heat in his veins. It must be a while until he comes back to himself, struggling to open his eyes and lift himself from where he was hunched over, trying to crawl into Jaemin’s skin. Donghyuck’s vision is blurry, but a few blinks and he finally makes out Jaemin’s tense body,  his head thrown back and away, teeth clenched tight. He’s taking deep, heaving breaths, like he’s trying to keep himself sane, too. Donghyuck takes his distraction as a sign to attempt to move his body, knees lifting him weakly, hardly a bounce but it has Jaemin groaning all the same, arms tightening around him. His hips twitch, both of them moaning in unison as it makes his cock hit deeper, and when he realizes Donghyuck can take it, they lift up again, with purpose this time.

“God, fuck,” Jaemin hisses, arms constricting around him, giving him no out, no escape. Donghyuck doesn’t want to go anywhere else. His thighs feel wet, when Jaemin pumps his hips again –harder this time– their skin makes a wet slap, his slick sticking briefly to the sweatpants they couldn’t even bother to get rid off, with the shreds of his shorts hanging awkwardly still. “Shit, feels so good.” 

Donghyuck whines, nods, too incoherent to echo how good it feels with words. But his body says everything he can’t, with his heavy arms lifting to wrap around Jaemin’s shoulders. Secretly, he always cherishes how romantic it feels sometimes; yes, their sex is filthy, but the intimacy, the way they seem to wrap around each other like even mere oxygen between them hurts, it makes him tear up a little. Jaemin starts picking a rhythm, it’s always like this when Donghyuck is on top –he’s unable to move much soon enough, and Jaemin ends up picking up the slack with no complaints, easily planting his feet on the floor so each thrust of his hips goes smoothly, deep. 

It’s too much again, soon enough. Each dirty slap, slap, slap, seems to echo, drowned out only because Donghyuck can’t stop moaning. He’s making all these gaspy, pained noises, punched out of him the faster Jamin fucks him. The mere strength of each thrust keeps bouncing him on his lap, higher and harder that Donghyuck can’t do much but cling harder onto him. He feels so goddamn full, is the thing, but he can feel how Jaemin just keeps getting thicker, his knot rubbing insistently against his entrance. He wants it, he needs it, he needs Jaemin to fucking come right now because his body is starting to feel foreign now, too much. 

“Jaem,” he tries, a hiccuped mess. It seems to fuel something inside Jaemin, to hear him messed up and senseless, one of his hands falls from his waist to smack loudly against his ass cheek. It doesn’t hurt, just a sting that spreads hotly, and his palm soothes the burning skin before tugging his asscheek apart. The very tips of Jaemin’s fingers rub against his swollen slit and press,rubbing against his wet cock with every thrust, and Donghyuck forgets anything, forgets words, himself. All he can do is sob, “Jaemin!”

He wants to come, he wants Jaemin’s knot, he wants Jaemin to kiss him, he wants too much all at once and can’t fucking say it. He hears himself whine, head lolling against Jaemin’s shoulder before lifting it up with some effort. It’s not easy to find Jaemin’s lips; Donghyuck lands closer to his ear, kissing the damp skin there before parting his own mouth. His tongue finds the damp skin of Jaemin’s cheek fast enough, tasting the salt, dragging it messily until he finally finds him. Jaemin’s really fucking him now, loud, fast, body shaking and bouncing in his lap as the drive of Jaemin’s hips jostles him up his body, thighs wet with slick and sweat. It should be disgusting, but all it does is make Donghyuck moan loudly into his mouth, finding Jaemin’s tongue so he can suck on it, he tastes so good. Kissing him like this is almost impossible, more like panting into each other’s open mouths, saliva smearing messily as their tongues try to meet, trying to tangle with each other, so Donghyuck stops trying altogether. 

He’s truly throbbing now, his clit feeling swollen and almost on this side of painful, he’s sure he’d actually break into tears if he tried to touch it. But he doesn’t need to, all he needs to do is ask. Jaemin likes to do as told. 

“Alpha,” he says, only now understanding that his voice is hoarse and achy. “Alpha, I need it, I need you,” Jaemin answers something, voice raspy, hips slowing down if only in favor to press in deeper. “Want your knot, y-your come.”

Jaemin gasps, Donghyuck’s only desperation so easily echoed. “Yes, baby, my omega,” his knot is an oppressive force as Jaemin’s hips start rolling rather than just fucking, teasing like it’ll pop inside any second, any second until it finally does. For a moment, just a short moment, Donghyuck thinks he can’t take it. It almost feels unbearable against his hole, pushing and pushing. And then he takes it. His cunt takes it, accommodates for it, and the pleasure is overwhelming. He doesn’t get to warn Jaemin this time, the white-hot pleasure hits him all at once, and all Donghyuck can do is feel it.

It’s a full-bodied thing; his thighs shake, his nails dig into Jaemin’s shoulders hard enough he’s sure he might lift skin. There’s no trying to kiss Jaemin now, just moaning into his open mouth, feeling the tears that had been teasing at his lashline finally fall when he feels Jaemin’s come finally pumping into him. There’s no panic at being bred, no anxiety of being fucked full of Jaemin’s pups, just mind-numbing pleasure as he clenches around Jaemin and refuses to let go. 

He’s not sure how much time passes, hours or minutes. He only comes to himself slowly, Jaemin’s wide palms soothing him, caressing up and down his back slowly, feeling the curve of his spine and waist with leisure. He tries to say something, arms shaking as he tries to lift himself up from where he had buried into Jaemin’s neck, scent always soothing, so familiar. It jostles the knot still plugging him up, and Jaemin’s half hissing with sensitivity, half whispering lovely things that have Donghyuck melting right back into his arms.

“Shh, it’s alright love,” he murmurs. His voice is deep, and so warm, so relaxed. “Go back to sleep, I’m here.”

It’s the best thing Donghyuck has ever felt, and he has no strength to protest even if he wanted to. 

Two weeks and four pregnancy tests later, Donghyuck confirms what he already knew. It’s not like Jaemin has science defying sperm, and he keeps hearing his doctor’s warning. Patience, it can take time, your body has to adjust. 

In other words, they just have to keep on trying.

This takes Donghyuck to places he’s never been before: online forums and Facebook groups of struggling Omegas trying to conceive. The wife tales of herbal teas, tracking his cycle and ovulation period, and what positions will best induce pregnancy. It’s all a stressful jumble of information that leaves him ridden with anxiety. The more he scrolls, the more the stories go from tricks that helped conceive, to people struggling with years of infertility and the struggles of pregnancy. For the first time since he’s gone on this crazy quest, it puts things into a proper perspective for Donghyuck: what the hell is he actually trying to do?

Now he’s second guessing if he’s actually ready for the impact this will hold for their lives, and feeling guilty to be doing all of this behind Jaemin’s back, and even though his doctor told him he had nothing to worry about… what if he just can’t do it? What will he do then.

He thinks of Jaemin, who is always just a phone call away. No one gets quite under Donghyuck’s skin like he can, and yet no one has ever made him feel safer than him, either. Jaemin, with the cat food he keeps in his bag so he can feed any stray cats living in alleys, who cooks him dinner while calling him lazy and spoiled. So many things that Jaemin has done to make him fall in love, it should be easier to just come out and say it, but Donghyuck can’t settle with just that. He needs them intrinsically tied together for ever, he needs to be a part of Jaemin’s life in a way no one else is, bonded and mating.

Yet, the guilt does not quite leave him, and like many other crises in his life, Donghyuck deals with it by drinking alcohol with his friends.

Life gets busy, but somehow, once a month, they will all make it work. Someone, usually Renjun or himself, chooses a location, and the rest try to show up on time without their work clothes still on. Donghyuck doesn’t quite manage running home to get rid of his sweaty button up shirt, and when he stumbles into the cozy little bistro Renjun chose this time, he realizes Jaemin didn’t get the chance to either. Neck buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to reveal a veined forearm, he looks so casually handsome Donghyuck wishes everyone who set their eyes on him went blind. 

As usual, Jaemin is already scooting over so he can sit next to him, arm already settled on the booth’s backrest so it rests casually around him once he’s sat and comfortable. Chenle sends him a smug cat-eyed smile, and Donghyuck does his very best to ignore him.

The bistro is just the perfect balance of picture-worthy without trying too hard, lights low, jazz playing faintly in the back as the usual tinkling of bustling of a Friday night settles into the atmosphere. 

“Hey,” Jaemin says softly, one corner of his mouth lifting casually, fingers tapping twice on Donghyuck’s shoulder. “I ordered you a drink already.”

He tries not to blush at the casual intimacy of it all. “Better be good,” he sing-songs. “Or I ain’t paying for it.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes at him. Donghyuck doesn’t mind; the yellow light hanging above their table is doing lovely things to them, warm and sparkly, long lashes brushing his cheeks with every blink. “I got you one of those whiskey-orange things you like.”

Donghyuck doesn’t reply back, simply hums, too damn pleased he’s sure the whole table can smell it. Jaemin tries to be so casual about things, but he knows all of Donghyuck’s orders by heart, the sap. It seems he was the last one to arrive, not exactly an oddity, and he greets the rest of his friends he had accidentally ignored, too distracted by… yeah, well. Distracted. Admittedly, it’s been a while since he’s seen everyone: Jisung has some short, fucked up looking bangs he probably gave himself while Renjun’s hair is almost at his shoulders, Jeno’s hair is now jet black instead of his usual brown, and Mark is sporting a beard that on anyone else would look lame, but he’s somehow making it work.

With all his friends around him, Donghyuck feels himself relax back on the booth, in the safe circle of Jaemin’s arms. They’re all on scent blockers right now, but still, their comforting scents cling to their jackets, their bags, a strange mix that is no less relaxing. He digs into the basket of fries on the table, pushed closer to him by Jeno, and tunes into the conversation his friends barely paused to greet him before sputtering on. 

“Bro, listen to me,” Chenle is saying, and even though he sounds sort of urgent, he’s smiling so wide no one could possibly take him seriously. “There’s just no fucking way you wouldn’t do it for a million bucks.”

Mark shakes his head, mouth pursing in disgust, but he, too, looks all too happy to be getting mildly yelled at.

“Won’t do what?” Donghyuck whispers, leaning closer to Jaemin as he chews another fry. Renjun, on Jaemin’s other side, has clearly decided this conversation over several minutes ago, and is instead perusing the menu very seriously.

Jaemin snorts, taking a sip of his own drink, a dark whiskey to match Donghyuck’s cocktail. “Give up on sitting for a year.”

Jeno, sat between Mark and Chenle, has his head swinging back and forth between them as their debate grows heated. Clearly, Donghyuck needs to catch up on drinks.

Mark’s shaking his head harder than necessary. “Okay, how would I go to the bathroom then?”

This makes Chenle pause. “Mark,” he starts, very serious. “We are Asian. Just squat.”

“Wouldn’t squatting be considered sitting, technically?” Jisung interrupts, and this only gets Chenle to shut up for a few seconds before he’s opening his mouth again, doubled in effort.

“So,” Donghyuck says, scooting so he can catch a glimpse of the menu Renjun’s still reading. “What are we eating?”

The night progresses in similar fashion, with good food and conversation that is less ridiculous. There’s a lot of catching up to do, and by the time their plates are cleared, Donghyuck’s previous anxiety feels like a distant thing. They’ll be leaving soon, but for now Jaemin is by the far corner, taking tasteful pictures for Renjun’s next Instagram post, while Jisung, Mark, and Chenle are finishing their embarrassingly long pool match, which leaves just him and Jeno. Donghyuck, of course, has ditched his seat in favor of sitting sideways on Jeno’s lap, resting his cheek on Jeno’s soft hair. Faintly, if Donghyuck tries hard, he can catch Jeno’s nonintrusive scent; when they first started to become friends, he used to think he was catching hints of a very expensive detergent, but he quickly learned that the clean cotton scent is inherently the Beta’s own, and over the years it’s become one of the things Donghyuck most closely relates to home. 

In his Jeno fashion, he simply helped distribute Donghyuck’s weight more comfortably on his lap, keeping one hand on his knee and squeezing every so often to a rhythm only he can follow. 

He’s admittedly a bit drunk. Not a lot, but just over the threshold of tipsy, so the lights around him are brighter, and his friends even warmer, and his tongue too loose. “Jen, have you ever considered having kids?”

He feels it underneath his cheek as Jeno tries to look up at him. He’s not sure they’ve ever discussed children more than an offhanded yeah, maybe in the future kind of thing, so the question gives Jeno a pause. It’s a while before he’s squeezing his knee again, but when he speaks, it’s clear. “It used to feel like such a far away thing, right?” he hums, voice suddenly kind of nostalgic. “I suppose in recent years, I’ve considered it, but I’d have to be dating first to make that happen.”

Donghyuck hums back, considering what he’s actually trying to get at. “And you would marry, or not?”

“It’s the smart thing to do,” Jeno states, serious. “For tax benefits, and security during separations.”

It’s the rather logical, unromantic response Donghyuck would expect from him, and it makes him smile. Then Jeno’s pulling back from underneath his cheek, properly this time, and he can’t escape those big puppy eyes when they’re directed at him from up close. 

“You want kids?” 

Donghyuck feels his neck grow warm, or maybe that’s just the alcohol, but he finally drops Jeno’s warm gaze to stare at a loose threat on the neckline of his t-shirt. “Yeah,” he clears his throat, tries again. “I mean, yes. I would like it.”

Jeno nods. “Why?”

And with everything that has been going on in his mind lately, it’s not a question that stumps him. “I want to love someone so much we can build a life together, marriage, house, babies, just… everything.” And when Jeno doesn’t seem convinced, he chews on his bottom lip, hesitating, before continuing. “I know life would never be the same, but… I’ve always wanted it. To be a guide, to have a kid that would know I’m unconditionally there for them, always, no matter what.”

This close, he can see the minute way Jeno’s eyes widen, considering him for a few seconds. Then, he smirks, the asshole. “That’s nice, Hyuck. Does Jaemin know that?”

When he blushes now he knows it’s entirely Jeno’s fault. “What?” Then, too fast he practically stutters. “I mean, like, why would he?” At Jeno’s smug silence that only continues to stretch, Donghyuck can’t help but to scoot closer, practically nose to nose. “Why? Has he said something?”

Jeno giggles, his eyes wrinkling cutely, and it makes Donghyuck laugh, too. He shrugs, and with his eyes curved like this, his smile wide, it’s the most mischievous he’s looked. “You should ask him,” he says, knocking their foreheads together. It’s only then Donghyuck realizes Jeno’s probably too tipsy to be having this conversation too, exacerbating the giggles bubbling in his chest. “Maybe he’ll give you his freak puppies.”

“They wouldn’t be freaks!” Donghyuck defends. He knows Jeno’s only joking, but he already feels so protective over his nonexistent puppies he can feel the pout forming anyway. “They would be… ours! And perfect!”

“No way,” Jeno, still knocking their foreheads –soft thump thump thumps vibrating in his skull– says. “With a knot like that, they could only be freaks.”

Donghyuck sputters, ready to defend… what, Jaemin’s knot? He will if he has to, he loves it so much, but before he can start ranting about it, a shadow creeps over them. His forehead feels warm and clammy from Jeno’s sweat, he has to rub it clean with the back of his head as he looks up. Mark is there, Jisung too, and behind them with a frown marring his face stands Jaemin, broad, tall, and beautiful. Like usual, he’s the most sober person in the room, barely a whiskey and a beer before he started chugging water like the responsible man he is. Still, he’s frowning as he shoulders his way between his friends, hands reaching out to circle Donghyuck’s wrist.

“Hyuckie, you’re drunk,” Jaemin states, no doubt in his voice. The fingers on his wrist are firm but gentle, and he’s pulling him right out of Jeno’s lap before he can even say anything, his free hand coming up to steady him by the waist as he stumbles, upright and dizzy all of the sudden. “Let me take you home.”

And it’s not a question either, just certainty that Jaemin will take care of him regardless. He hears Jeno mutter something behind him, sounds suspiciously like no one’s taking him from you, but he doesn’t care. He’s too busy nodding, stomach swooping and twisting as Jaemin wraps an arm around his waist properly for support, wide palm burning through the fabric of his shirt.

Their taxi home is quite, a slow ballad playing softly through the speakers as they cruise through the city. This late at night there’s no traffic, and they’re only a few minutes away from Jaemin’s apartment when he speaks up.

“What were you and Jeno talking about?”

It takes a few seconds for his brain to catch up, but when it does, Donghyuck has to bite down on the smile trying to swallow his face. “Hmm? Oh, you know. Just stuff.”

The thing with Jaemin is that he is not afraid of confrontation. What he says, he means, so Donghyuck is not surprised when he feels the weight of Jaemin’s stare on him. He turns to meet it, brave under the darkness and shadows the car offers, meeting it more intently that he’d be able to otherwise. “That so?” And when he hums back, Jaemin presses on. “Looked real cozy, is all.”

His voice is gruff, like he’s trying to hold back, he’s so jealous Donghyuck knows it must be killing him. “Yeah, well, y’know,” and he decided to poke casually next, trying to remain calm even as his heartbeat starts picking up. “Life stuff. Kids, marriage, that sort.”

Jaemin pauses then. His dark eyes consider him for a long while, and from the corner of his eye he can tell that the ride is almost up, a few more corners and that’s it.

“So you want kids?” He says it casually, just as the driver is pulling over. Jaemin mumbles a quick thanks, passing a few bills over before stepping out of the car and making his way over to Donghyuck’s side to open his door, helping him get out before wishing their driver a good night. It never stops being embarrassing, and equally charming, how attentive Jaemin is. Even the simplest things, like getting his door and helping him step out even though Donghyuck’s sobered up plenty on the ride home. 

The thing is, this feels like a trick question. Like if he answers too honestly, his whole ruse comes up in flames, so Donghyuck decides to tinker with the truth a little bit. He wraps an arm around Jaemin’s bicep as they make their way inside the building, the air outside the building cool despite it being the peak of summer, just to be hit with dry, conditioned air once they step inside the lobby, the receptionnist half-heartedly wishing them a good night as they step into the elevator, the cold air making the thin hairs on his warm skin stand on edge.

“Kids are alright,” Donghyuck starts, picking up their conversation as casual as anything. “I’m not dying for it right now, but if it happens, it happens.”

That’s more than tinkering, that’s just lying, but it’s a white lie, just a tiny one.

Jaemin tilts his head to look at him again, and under the harsh LED lights of the elevator, he has nowhere to hide, only offering a guileless smile as the elevator dings on their floor, making the short walk down the hallway to Jaemin’s apartment.

As soon as they open the door, Jaemin’s cats are already waiting there, meowing loudly when Jaemin starts cooing at them, asking them about their day like one day they’ll finally start talking back. Donghyuck bends over to scratch one of them behind the ears —Lucy, who for some unknown reason to them really likes him— but soon she's scuttling after Jaemin as he walks over to the kitchen, to give their wet food as is customary. 

Usually he would have made himself comfortable in Jaemin's bed, but he decides to follow him to the kitchen, quietly watching as Jaemin moves around his home with ease, feeding his cats with so much care, melting a little at the loving smile Jaemin gives them as he watches them eat.

"Do you want kids?"

He just sort of blurts it into the air, and it startles Jaemin, eyes wide as if he just realized he'd been followed, but he recovers quickly. "Sure. like you said, if it happens, it happens."

Despite how secretive Donghyuck used to find Jaemin, in recent months he's come to take him at word value. What Jaemin says, he means. Most imporantly, what he does he means. So it's maybe not the enthusiastic answer he was dying for, but it’s good enough for him. It works, and he can feel whatever liquid courage he still has mix in with relief.

Assuaded, he finally starts making his way to Jaemin’s bedroom. He’s in the kitchen doorway before pausing, turning to look at Jaemin over his shoulder, batting his eyelashes at him. Jaemin must catch something in the air, his nostrils flare up, head turning sharply towards him. Donghyuck unbottons his shirt slowly, taking his sweet time with each buttom before gracefully pushing it off his shoulder, finally dropping it on the floor.

“Don’t take too long, yeah?”

He catches Jaemin nodding out of the corner of his eye, but decides not to acknowledge it, leisurely crossing Jaemin’s apartment, slowly ridding himself of his leather belt, pausing only for a moment to unbotton his slacks to push them slowly over his hips, down his thigs, stepping out of them to leave a trail behind him. Jaemin actually hates when Donghyuck makes a mess like this, but if he can rip his shorts off, Donghyuck can do this.

The bedroom is dark when he opens the door, and closes it quietly behind him so the cats won’t try to sneak in. Only then does he push his boxers down his legs, bearing his body to the tepid air. He’s been here enough that even in the dark, he can make his way to the bedside to turn the lamp on, and once he can actually see in front of him, he turns on the humidifier, the AC, a well worn routine at this point. He climbs onto the mattress, luxuriating in the neat sheets, turning his neck so he can take a shamless sniff of Jaemin’s cinnamon and mint scent, feeling surrounded by him everywhere he turns, this space is just so him. It’ll be a bit before Jaemin actually makes it here, because he’s anal about caring for his cats, so Donghyuck knows the routine by heart: feeding them, checking their water fountain, then changing the litter box bags for a new one, and then cleaning the air purifiers in the living room, and only then will he come find him. So in the meantime, he has to keep himself busy.

He teases a hand down his chest first, light and teasing until he finally brushes against a nipple, peaked under the cold air, tweaking it lightly before letting go, again, then the other one, until he’s finally pulling it roughly.

It always hurts just a little too much, so good and tempting, and it’s finally then that Donghyuck can finally smell the tangerines, the hint of vanilla. He uses his free hand to sneak it between his thighs, brushing his middle finger between his folds. He’s getting wet already, or he’s been for a while probably, and he drags the wetness around in lazy circles, around the rim of his hole before findind his clit, already feeling swollen. Jaemin won’t be long now, he thinks, he’ll come soon smelling of mint and cinammon so strongly it’ll itch his nose, the back of his throat, with his thick arms and thick cock. God, just thinking about it makes Donghyuck’s thighs shake, almost closing on instinct as he presses on his clit again, a tight circle with more purpose. He sighs, a pitiful noise as he moves his fingers down again, until he can push two fingers inside him, slowly until he meets his knuckles. He’s a bit tight, but he feels as his body relaxes around him, pumping his fingers once, twice. It’s perfunctory, really, as Donghyuck can’t ever quite reach his sweet spot with his fingers well –the angle awkward and his fingers always just shy of too short—but it still feels good. It feels better when he thinks of Jaemin again, turning to stuff his face into the pillows and breathe in deep.

If he strains his ears, he can hear Jaemin moving around the apartment. He’s so diligent, he thinks, fingers picking up speed imperceptably. So caring and responsible, so thorough, and just faintly he thinks he hears Jaemin’s voice, probably sweetly talking to the kitties as he moves around efficiently. He’d be a great dad, a great mate, someone who would do anything to make sure his family is safe and sound. Donghyuck pants, squirming on the mattress, nose full of Jaemin, mind full of him too, unable to think about anything else and wishing he’d just hurry up already.

This ridiculous rabbit hole in his mind has left him gushing, and when he pulls his fingers out, they’re webbed with sweet slick. Curiously, Donghyuck brings them up to his mouth, presses the tips in against his tongue to taste. Jaemin swears up and down he tastes as good as he smells, and Donghyuck can agree it is actually sweet, not like vanilla, but something that tingles in his tongue all the same.

It’s like this, with his legs spread and fingers in his mouth, that Jaemin finds him. Donghyuck startles, fingers popping with a quite sound around a gasp, eyes open to find Jaemin shutting the door behind him.

“Fucking hell,” Jaemin grumbles, not sounding put out at all. “I was picking up shit while you were doing this?”

It startles a laugh out of him, and he’s almost too distracted by Jaemin pulling his shirt over his head to reply. “Told you to hurry up, did I not?”

Jaemin, hair fluffled up and frizzy, throws his shirt to the side distractedly, and then drops to his knees. Donghyuck lifts up on his elbows to watch him crawl his way to the end of the bed, overwhelmed by the sight of it all; his dark eyes, cheeks pinking up, that spicy-sweet smell filling the room, making it hard to breath.

“Should’ve told me to not even bother and just come,” Jaemin says, but it’s distracted. He’s reached the end of the bed, and does not waste any time to wrap his fingers around both of Donghyuck’s ankles, and pulling. His grip is strong, and soon Donghyuck finds himself staring at the ceiling instead as he’s dragged down the sheets, until he’s right where Jaemin wants him, with his calves over Jaemin’s wide shoulders, propped and exposed for him.

He wants to say something, and also maybe catch his breath, and is completely unable to do either. Without warning, Jaemin bends close, hovering just a few inches above his wet cunt. His breath is harsh and hot, and Donghyuck thinks he says something, knowing him probably something annoying, but it doesn’t matter. He blows cold air on his clit, the sudden sensation making him hiss, and then finally the wet tip of Jaemin’s tongue pressing against his it. It’s a tight, short press, before he’s dragging it down, down, quickly finding his hole and lapping over it, quick and obscene.

“F-fuck, Jaemin,” he whines, thighs trying to close around Jaemin’s head, hips chasing the wet heat of his mouth. Jaemin doesn’t answer, but he does press a loving kiss to his mound, over his trimmed pubes, then the crease between thigh and pelvis, then another small kiss over his clit. Soft, teasing, he trades kisses and nibbles around his thighs and hips, coming just shy of his pussy over and over again, and he does this until Donghyuck feels like he’ll lose his mind, clit pulsing, gushing wetness down his thighs.

“Please, please,” he pleads softly, shocked by the saccharine tone. “Alpha, please.”

Jaemin groans against his flushed skin, a sound deep and guttural in his throat, Donghyuck has to lift up again just to see what could make him sound his like that. It’s hard to focus his blurred sight, but when it does, he realizes just how wet he really is. Between his thighs of couse, but with all the kissing and biting Jaemin hass managed to put shiny stains all over his hips and lower stomach, flushed and shiny all over. He brings one hand, the clean one, to push his fingers through Jaemin’s hair, soft and long between his fingers. He cups the back of Jaemin’s head, but when that still won’t make Jaemin look away from his wet cunt, he brushes through until he can cup a flushed cheek. Finally, Jaemin meets his eyes. He looks wild, his pupils blown and unfocused, eyebrows furrowed like he’s stressed. Donghyuck wishes he could kiss him, the devotion looks so lovely on his face, but instead uses his grip to push him down again gently.

“Take care of me, Alpha, please?”

Jaemin only blinks at him dazedly for a second, before nodding, finally putting his mouth to good use. He doesn’t tease this time, instead leans down and suck his clit between his lips. It’s too much too fast, as sensitive as he feels it almost hurts, and Donghyuck falls back on the bed with a loud thump, head thrown back.

He moans, voice somehow already sounding teary. “Oh! Oh, fuck, yes!”

This only seems to encourage Jaemin, opening his mouth to instead use the flat of his tongue, drawing tight circles against his swollen clit. It’s a lot, too much, Donghyuck can’t even see, his vision blurred and unseeing on the ceiling as Jaemin drags down lower, and then the tip of his tongue finally catches on his rim, dips a bit, and then again with purpose. Jaemin must be overwhelmed too, breathing in his pheromones from where they’re strongest, groaning as if in response everytime Donghyuck so much as whines. Just like when he was opening himself up, Donghyuck feels himself tighten up before relaxing, opening so Jaemin can push his tongue further in, drinking directly from the source. He can’t lay still. His legs twitch, hips twisting to chase and then to run away from Jaemin’s sloppy mouth. To his credit, Jaemin looks like he can’t sit still either; one of his shoulders moves up, down,  a steady movement that can only mean he’s got a hand wrapped around his cock. One moment he’s lapping eagerly at Donghyuck’s hole, deep and relentless –making all these embarassing slurping sounds, saliva and slick sounding loud in the room– and then just as suddenly he’s pressing the pointed tip of his tongue against his clit, tight circles that go slow then fast the slow again.

He almost jumps when he feels the tips of Jaemin’s fingers circle his cunt, pressing in easily to the knuckle all at once. He whines, thighs propping open as his body obediently relaxes, makes space for Jaemin, finally sighing happily when Jaemin’s thick fingers stretch him in a way his own never can. The Alpha, despite being so desperate he’s more instinct than man at the moment, pumps his fingers in evenly, scissoring them to test the give of his hole, making a pleased sound in the back of his throat when he finds no resistance, just wet, soft heat.

He’s close, he can sense it, coiling hot and heavy in his stomach as Jaemin buries his face deeper, pulling out his fingers so he can push three fingers in this time, wrist snapping with the effort to curl his fingers.

“J-Jaem,” Donghyuck pants, thighs twitching, not wanting to suffocate him but literally unable to stop it, feverish and overwhelmed. “I wanna come, w-want to, please.”

And Jaemin, obedient Alpha he is, takes it as encouragment to push his face closer, drunk on Donghyuck, fingers and mouth unrelenting even as Donghyuck’s hips twitch in a desperate attempt to escape the barrage of sensations.

He doesn’t bother to warn him, Donghyuck comes without being able to stop it. His mouth gasps open, but no sound comes out, unable to with the air stuck in his lungs as it is. His orgasm doesn’t wash over him, it blazes, burning him from the center and spreading throughout to the very tips of his fingers. His hips try to ride it out on Jaemin’s mouth, clumsy, messy grinds of his hips that only help to make it hurt, to make it feel to much.

Only then, only when it’s too much, does he manage to escape Jaemin’s mouth, inching himself up the mattress in a mess of contorting hips and arms, snapping his thighs closed even with Jaemin still in the way, and only then can Donghyuck gasp for air. Jaemin doesn’t chase him, even though he’s done it before — ate him out to the point of tears and begging— instead he allows Donghyuck to catch his breath, forehead pressed against one of Donghyuck’s damp thighs, his breathing loud and heavy like he’s in pain, too.

Donghyuck wraps his arms around himself, chasing each breath like he’ll never catch up again, mind completely blank. He feels tingly all over, muscles spasming without notice as his body continues to ride on the pleasure. And yet, still.

Still, it’s not enough.

Donghyuck feels empty, craving for Jaemin in a way that must transcend just the physical, he thinks.

To stop hugging himself feels like he’ll shatter apart, but he reaches down anyway, trying uselessly to grip at Jaemin’s sweaty skin to try and pull him up. “Jaemin,” and when he only receives a faint hum, he doubles the effort. “Up, c’mon.”

Jaemin grunts when he lifts up on heavy arms. A quick glance down confirms that he’s still hard, cock heavy and an agry red, so hard it must hurt. His Alpha hovers over him for a second, watching him closely with intelligent arms before leaning down to kiss him.

It starts surprisingly tender, just a soft press of their closed mouths, and he can’t help but flush when all he can feel is how wet Jaemin is, smeared all over his lips and chin and all he can smell for a brief moment is the overly sweet tangerines and vanilla. Jaemin breaks the kiss for a second, to press a warm kiss to Donghyuck’s blushed cheek, and then he’s right back to his lips, like magnets, like a planet orbiting its star.

Jaemin kisses whatever breath he’d managed to take right out of him. He coaxes his mouth open with a languid lick across his lips, lips stretching into a smirk when he feels Donghyuck moan into his mouth, running his tongue over the roof of Donghyuck’s mouth. He feels unreasonably sad for a moment when he can only taste himself, but he still he tangles his tongue with Jaemin just as enthusiastically, wrapping himself around Jaemin like he’s trying to fuse them together –arms around his neck, legs tight over his hips so he can press their bodies together, cock nestling in the crease of his thigh, making a happy little noise when Jaemin starts rutting against him. Soon it turns too messy, kisses too wet and open mouthed, getting all these little sounds wheedled out of him as the room turns heavy again.

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck manages between kisses, and even though he’s supposed to, he can’t seem to unwrap himself from Jaemin just yet. “Fuck me.”

He’s not asking, but Jaemin nods anyway, leaving one last kiss on his parted lips before trying to stand up. Immediately, Donghyuck locks himself around him tighter, whining, ashamed by how distressed he sounds for a moment.

Jaemin chuckles, pressing his mouth to Donghyuck’s neck, right against the sensitive gland there. “Baby, let me just get the condom.”

“Don’t need it.”

Like déjà vu, just like last time, Jaemin freezes. The silence only stretches for a few seconds, but he sounds perfectly neutral when he replies. “You’re not on the pill anymore, remember?”

As annoyingly attached at the hip as they are, he couldn’t hide that little detail for too long. A flimsy excuse about hormone imbalance and letting his body breathe had been easily received, and then Jaemin had spent the next twenty minutes researching nutrient heavy meal recipes for him.

So Donghyuck just shurgs, nosing behind Jaemin’s ear where the sweat has curled up the ends his hair. Here he smells so purely of himself, a spicy saccharine scent. “I’ll get the morning after pill tomorrow,” and to sell it well he adds, “just wanna be dripping with you today.”

Jaemin’s cock twitches against him, so Donghyuck knows he’s already won this short battle.

Finally he untangles his limbs, letting Jaemin lift up on his knees, until he’s stading off the bed again. Just as easily as he had earlier, Jaemin pulls him by the ankles, and Donghyuck is too happy to let him manhandle him about. Jaemin helps him stand on shaky legs, only a few seconds before he’s spinning him around and using a gentle hand on his shoulderblades to push him face down, flushed cheeks nestled against the rumpled bedsheets. Then another hand on the crevice of his knee, lifted up and bent on the edge of the bed. It’s not quite the mating press all the Facebook groups swore by, but it’s close enough, so he wiggles his hips and stretches until he’s comfortable, his arms straight high over his head, and finally relaxes.

He hears the rumple of fabric as Jaemin pushes down his own slacks and kicks them off, finally standing in the open space between his legs, standing closer.

He expects Jaemin to slide in one swift motion, but his orgasm must have left him dumb enough to forget who he’s dealing with. No, what Jaemin does instead is to slap the tip of his cock against his hole, each making a wet sound as he’s still dripping down his thighs. He clenches around nothing, whines, and Jaemin chuckles faintly.

“How about just the tip, hmm, princess?” He says, stopping the slight slapping to instead exert just the slightest pressure, the slightest push of his cockhead against his entrance. Donghyuck, reluctant to humiliate himself further with more begging, just shakes his head, pushing roughly against the bed sheets all the while his hips cant up, trying by sheer hope to push Jaemin inside. “No? A sweet Omega like you can take my cock whole, can’t you?”

“Yes,” he pants, hips still futilely pushing back, chasing Jaemin’s cock when he steps away just as easily. “Yes, Alpha, I-I can. I want to.”

Jaemin hums, finally pressing a palm to his lower back to finally still Donghyuck’s body. He leans his body weight into him, just the slightest, Donghyuck’s back curving obscenly to accommodate for it. Jaemin finally presses in, the blunt head pushing until Donghyuck has no choice to relax and take it. The Alpha goes slowly, not to be careful, but the feel the way Donghyuck’s body blooms for him, opens up so easily until he’s got nowhere to go, hips to ass, knot pressed tightly and yet unable to be envopled just yet.

It always leaves him breathless, that first push of Jaemin’s hips. And yet, his body always melts right into it, meant to take it even as he chokes on it, feeling every inch of Jaemin inside him. Already his eyes go unseeing, stuck on the wall across him as he feels his body accommodate for Jaemin. It’s not only how long he is, but how thick, and yet he takes it, takes it like he was made just for him.

He makes a weird sound, nasal and stuck in his throat, trying to catch his breath even though Jaemin hasn’t even moved yet. He’s simply stood there patiently, that possesive hand still holding his hips in place, but the other one has managed to slip into the curls at the base of his skull. Yet, he doesn’t pull, simply runs his fingers throught it softly, untangling it, saying sweet, disgusting things like that’s right, just for you baby, things that make Donghyuck’s tummy feel molten.

“’S good?” Jaemin asks, and instead of pulling out he steps in closer, and for a delirious moment Donghyuck thinks he’s try to bully his knot inside him, equal parts scared and wanton. But no, Jaemin just grinds there, languid circles that do more for Donghyuck than for himself, pushing a broken little ngh, hah, right from his throat.

“Y-yeah,” Donghyuck manages to answer, trying to pitch his hips up, to no avail; Jaemin’s grip is strong, his body heavy, and Donghyuck has no leverage here. And it should scare him, or at least make him nervous, but all it does is make his core pulse, hole twitching like a heartbeat, needy.  “More, please, Alpha.”

In that same torturous pace, Jaemin pulls out and thrusts back in, inch by inch, then again, again, again. It feels good, but not enough, not nearly enough, Donghyuck needs him in a way that feels dangerous, in a way that he’d never want anyone else to see, too raw and vulnerable.

Standing on the one weak leg is hard, but Donghyuck tries anyway, finally gaining some leverage to press again Jaemin’s hips, taking his cock in deeper. The angle is not quite what he needs, the rhythm too slow, and Jaemin too entirely in control while Donghyuck feels like an animal that’s been left to starve for too long.

“Jaemin, Jaemin,” he tries to say, vocals slurred and strung along awkwardly with the saliva flooding his mouth. “Faster, I can take itit!”

Jaemin doesn’t reply, but he does huff, and then there’s a knee kicking Donghyuck’s leg wider apart, as if it was even possible, then Jaemin’s other knee falls heavily on the mattress, pulling him closer, hips lifted at a higher angle. When he fucks inside him again, he does it with strength, a loud wet smack that rings in Donghyuck’s ears. This, this is the angle, cockhead pressing insistently against his walls as Jaemin’s hips pick up speed. Donghyuck can longer even catch his own scent –face turned into the sheets, and when he lifts up all he can taste is mint, cinnamon tickling his nose as he tries to breath through parted lips.

Every thrust bounces him up the bed, and that deceptively sweet hold Jaemin had on his hair has finally turned possesive, fingers tight around the roots, not pulling but holding him still as the strenght of his hips jostles his body. All too soon he feels filled to the brim again, ready to burst, and Jaemin hasn’t even knotted him yet.

It’s at the tip of his tongue, begging Jaemin to breed him, to fuck him full, he needs it so bad he has to clench his jaw tightly. It springs tears to his eyes.

Hips still pumping fast and deep, he feels Jaemin crumple around him, little by little. First the arm on the matress, then the one in his hair, until Jaemin’s body falls on top of him in a heap of feverish, sweaty mess. He’s so big, is the thing, wide shoulders, thick arms, big hands, so encompassing. He should feel suffocated, but as Jaemin chest presses him firmly to the bed, all Donghyuck can do is smile, an expression that must look so crazy he’s just glad Jaemin can’t see clearly. He wishes he could feel Jaemin’s heartbeat in his chest like this, right inside his ribcage, but he can’t, he can’t, all he can do is focus on the unbearable heat, the cock fucking deep inside him like they were made to fit like this.

There’s sharp teeth teasing at the nap of his neck, nibbling lightly before sliding closer, closer to the gland at the junction between neck and shoulder. Jaemin clamps down there, on the sweaty skin, not hard enough to bond them, but fuck if it doesn’t make Donghyuck sob a desperate noise, hole clenching with every thrust that treatens to push the bulging knot inside him. He knows, faintly, that he’s begging for it, but it’s all too messy, his voice is too wet and thick he can hardly make out much other than please, please, need it.

Jaemin’s jaw relaxes, but he doesn’t stray away, instead pressing all his answers to the damp skin, warm drool and sharp teeth dragging with each word. “Yeah? Want it, baby? Gonna take it well, aren’t you?” Donghyuck feels himself being lifted slighlty, only for Jaemin to be able to wrap his arms around him, one tight over his waist, the other one lower, so Jaemin can press his fingers to his mound. The angle is awkward, but his fingers manage to find his clit and press there, just slightly, not doing much other than to make Donghyuck twitch with sensitivity, pusing another needy whine right out of him.

“Yes!” He manages to reply, finally giving up, eyes falling shut and tense body melting, so all he can do is feel. Feel, when Jaemin slows down to instead press against him in deeper thrusts, deeper. His knot, fully inflated, so thick it’s intimidating to think about, catches, but not quite, punching the air right out of his chest. It’s too much, too full, too much of Jaemin swallowing him up everywhere. The first tear rolls slowly down his cheek, then another one. They don’t get to go far, soon Jaemin licking them up, tongue hot as he tastes them, smile wicked against his flushed skin.

“Mine, Donghyuck,” Jaemin murmurs, almost too quiet to catch beneath the wet smacking of their hips. Before Donghyuck can even try to respond, the Alpha fucks his hips in one last time, deep, grinding until Donghyuck’s body gives way. His pussy twitches around the knot as it carves its way inside his walls, and it’s like being split, like being made again as he lies there and fucking takes it, takes it just like Jaemin said he would.

The fingers pressed against his clit make the slightest swipe, clumsy in the restricted space, a tight circle all he needed to finally come again.

It’s like being unraveled, and the only thing keeping him together is the safe circle of Jaemin’s arms. His cunt clenches one last time, locks them together, and Donghyuck sort of… loses himself. His whole body shivers, tenses, nothing but a pained, drawn out moan as he comes. Jaemin does, too, with a quiet moan that Donghyuck just hardly catches, warm come spilling inside of him. It feels like it goes on for so long, for both of them; at one point Jaemin does bite him, jaws clenched around a shoulder as their bodies tremble in tandem. Donghyuck can’t see, can’t speak, can hardly blink, and it’s fucking bliss, core unspooled, dripping wet with cum and his own slick, thighs twitching and trembling even though Jaemin’s not playing with his clit anymore, fingers simply pressed there lovingly.

Donghyuck drifts. The seconds tick by, counted only as their breathing slows down, and syncronizes with each other, when Jaemin’s chest rises, Donghyuck’s back follows. Even before this whole idea took root in him, he was always amazed by how good it felt to be connected with Jaemin like this. It’s true that they seldom avoided a condom, even on the pill, become the mess is annoying to deal with each time. Even now it’ll take a while more for Jaemin’s knot to fully deflate, and yet every so often his softening cock twitches, spurting more come inside him, pushing more out of his swollen hole each time. It’s an odd sensation, that he probably only comes to enjoy because he loves Jaemin so much.

Cautiously, Jaemin brings the hand pressed to his mound up, careful not to rub any of the sensitive skin, so he can hold him better, fully embraced in the arms encircling his waist. It takes some of Jaemin’s weight off of him, and he can’t tell if he should be grateful or sad, but either way his brain starts working, trying to form a coherent sentence.

“Feels so dirty,” he whines quietly, not missing how hoarse his throat feels, but really, he’s complaining just because he can.

Jaemin huffs behind him, a short laugh the ruffles his damn hair. He presses his lips to where his teeth had clenched to the meat of his shoulder, a soft kiss reminiscent of an apology. “I’ll fix it, don’t worry.”

Donghyuck just smiles, sighning contently. He knows Jaemin will.

And even though it’s expected, realizing he’s not pregnant again leaves him feeling empty in a way that goes further than just physical. It’s a ridiculous thought to have, a regressive one, but he can’t help it. What if he’s a defective omega? Already male omegas have a harder time conceiving, and then, what if his birth control just further ruined him?

He thinks back to conversations he had eevesdropped on as a child, his grandmother and her friends talking about how loose Omegas were nowadays. How they ruin their bodies because they’re running away from reponsabilities, and that in their times they would never. It’s a sobering thought, because Donghyuck would never want to refer to his body, himself, as something defective, whose only purpose is breeding. Donghyuck is just Donghyuck, worthy because he lives and breathes.

Still, it doesn’t make him feel better. Doesn’t help to rationalize away the pain that he feels at still not having Jaemin, being Jaemin’s, whatever the hell that means.

So yes, sue him, it leaves him in a bit of a funk. He spends the next few days with his phone on Do Not Disturb ninety percent of the time, canceling on Jisung when they were supposed to game together, and being very vague when Jaemin asks to come over and he has to politely decline.

Of course, that doesn’t deter him. Jaemin, at his core, is protective of the people he cares about, and intense in his need to take care of them. Soon he shows up at Donghyuck’s apartment with his two enourmous reusable bags heaping with groceries, hair a mess in sweats and slides.

Donghyuck doesn’t jump right out of his skin when he hears the door beep, if only because he knows by heart who has his apartment code, and Jaemin is at the very top of the list. Still, he frowns, stomping to the front door with a frown marring his face. Even disheveled, Jaemin looks handsome and smells delicious, his scent fresh and strong. Meanwhile, Donghyuck is still in his work clothes, and he reeks of stress and sweat, still debating whether dinner is worth it tonight, or if he should shower and just call it a night.

“Do you not have more important things to do on a Thursday night than to invade my home?”

It’s supposed to be a petulant statement, but he’s tired and still pretty much sad, so it’s hardly a tease. Jaemin’s lips quirk in a small smile, pausing only to press a kiss to his cheek before beelining for the kitchen. He sets one of the bags on the floor, the other one on the counter, and he rumages in that one for a few seconds as Donghyuck just watches, with the same interest one watches a zoo exhibition.

“What’s all this?” he askes, stepping closer so he can try to peek. There’s no need for that, since Jaemin quickly straigthens, one hand with a bottle of lotion, that other a bottle of wine. Both of them Donghyuck’s favorite.

“Just groceries and stuff,” Jaemin shrugs, like it’s a normal thing to do for your friend with benefits. Which, Donghyuck realizes, is par for the course for them. He takes the lotion from Jaemin, wondering when the hell he mentioned he was running out, or if Jaemin’s just super observant. “Go shower, I’ll just put these things away.”

“Um?” Donghyuck tries, but realizes he’s pretty lost on words. He’s too overcome with all these complicated, mushy emotions, and all he wants to do is bury his face in Jaemin’s chest and completely disappear. Instead he clears his throat, nodding, turning away so Jaemin won’t catch the tears starting to fill his eyes, and marches his ass to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, he feels more like himself, slathered in cream and stepping out to find Jaemin. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, quickly typing away on his phone. The bags are neatly folded by his elbow, and it’s such a domestic sight it makes Donghyuck’s stomach tighten all over again. Jaemin must hear him, because he looks up from his phone even as he’s typing. Whatever it is he was doing, he locks it with a final tap and pockets it, quietly stretching his arms so Donghyuck can walk right into them. It’s just like coming home, feeling secure in Jaemin’s arms, letting the Alpha rub his chin all along his hairline, following his cheek, until he can press his warm skin to the underside of his neck. Donghyuck will be going to bed with Jaemin’s coforting scent all over him, and he can’t help but hum happily as he lets it happen.

This is the quiet comfort that makes Donghyuck feel like he’ll go mad with jealousy. He doesn’t want anyone else to know how dedicated Jaemin is to those he loves, to know the comfort and safety his body offers. He’s selfish, self-centered, call it whatever it is, but it’s his.

Still wrapped around him, still rubbing mint and cinammon everywhere he can reach, Jaemin tentatively speaks up. “You’ve been missing all week.”

Donghyuck shrugs, trying to further press himself against Jaemin’s body, wishing they were naked if only to feel the soft comfort of his skin. “Been tired ‘s all.”

Jaemin hums quietly, and holds him for a little longer, long enough that Donghyuck starts to feel guilty. “It’s just been a long, weird week,” he tries to reassure, kissing the edge of skin where Jaemin’s neck meets the collar of his shirt. “Did you miss me?”

Although it’s supposed to be teasing, Donghyuck knows he’s vulnerable enough for it to come off as the honest question it is. And Jaemin, good, caring Jaemin, doesn’t even tease him about it. “Like a damn limb,” he confirms, squeezing him tighter with each word like he’d been holding it in this whole time, a tad desperate too. Donghyuck giggles, a childish little tinkle he can’t hold in. It’s not like he’s randomly forgotten everything that had been weighing on him this whole time, but God, it feels close enough. Like Jaemin is ready to share the burden, if only Donghyuck let him. But he can’t, he can’t put what he’s been trying to do to Jaemin into words without sounding insane, so instead he steps away, just a little, so he can look into Jaemin’s dark eyes clearly.

“You didn’t have to come,” he says, and rushes to continue before Jaemin can interrupt. “But thank you. It’s so… stupidly kind that it makes me wanna punch you a little bit.”

“Everything’s so violent with you,” Jaemin replies, entirely flat. He leans in close again, and Donghyuck’s braces himself to be kissed breathless, as Jaemin often does. Eyes squeezed shut, lips parted, waiting, Donghyuck gasps at something else entirely.

Jaemin kisses his forehead.

A long, warm press of his chapped lips to the very center of it, a kiss that last long, eternal seconds. He wishes it would never stop, genuienly springs tears to his eyes. He loves him, so much it scares him, yet he doesn’t step away. He relishes in until Jaemin parts with a soft smack, though he stays just as close. His warm breath brushes his hair gently.

“There’s dinner in the microwave, though I’m not sure if you’re hungry,” Jaemin tells him, voice low like he’s afraid of shattering the air around them. “And I brought fruit, strawberries and stuff, it’s washed so you can just grab them whenever, okay?”
He nods, straining his neck again so he can look at Jaemin’s eyes, who never, ever seems to cower from him, no matter how open and honest they are. “Are you staying?”

Jaemin gives him a sad little smile, shaking his head, messy bangs brushing his eyebrows. He’ll need a haircut soon. “I can’t,” he explains. “Early morning. I just wanted to check up on you, make sure you were taking care of yourself.”

He can feel himself pout, and does absolutely nothing to stop himself from doing so. But before he can even whine about it, Jaemin’s already huffing, bending down so he can press the tips of their noses together.

“I’ll make it up to you, yeah?” He says, their lips brushing, his warm eyes swallowing him whole. Donghyuck would agree to follow him to the ends of the world if he asked like this. “Promise.”

He kisses him then, finally, so tender. A press of their parted lips that doesn’t chase anything, doesn’t prelude anything other than wanting to be close, just because the distance between them simply should be put to rest, with the heats of their bodies coming together like this.

It doesn’t last nearly as long as Donghyuck would have needed. Eventually, with a final quiet smack of their lips, Jaemin takes a step back, and then hesitates before taking another. Wise choice, because Donghyuck could have stayed there all night if he’d let him. He has half a mind to chase after him, even as Jaemin picks up his bags, the pesky distance between them expanding once again.

“I’ll call you, okay?” Jaemin reassures him one last time, walking to the door but with his neck craned back, so he can look at him one last time before closing the door.

It’s silent in the apartment, but funnily enough, Donghyuck doesn’t feel alone at all.

Jaemin is a man of his word.

Saturday morning, Donghyuck’s wake up to his door dinging as someone inputs the code, steps in. Donghyuck, even sleepy and comfortable in bed, easily recognizes the quiet shuffling of Jaemin’s footsteps as he make his way around the apartment. Soon he’s standing by the doorway, in dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt that looks both casual, but too well-fitted to be so. His hair is pushed away from his forehead carelessly, and most importantly, he has two cups of takeaway coffee.

Donghyuck lifts up a corner of his duvet, patting on the mattress until Jaemin fully steps inside the room, walking over so he can set the cups on the nightstand, before quickly shuffling out of his jeans.

“Hurry up,” he murmurs, voice still deep and sleepy as Jaemin is left in nothing but his nice navy blue boxers.

“No outside clothes on the bed,” he replies, but there’s a smile already overtaking his face as he shuffles in next to Donghyuck, fussing with the pillows before settling in properly with a happy sigh. Donghyuck wastes no time in stuffing himself right in the crook of his arm, chest comfortably working as a pillow, and closing his eyes again, nose pressed to the soft fabric of Jaemin’s shirt. Blissful, beautiful, comforting Alpha scent, sweeter than any other he knows, warps around Donghyuck like a warm blanket, and he melts right into it, so happy he can’t even speak. No words, just happy hums and embarassing chirping sounds that rumble in his chest.

“Missed you,” Donghyuck presses the words right against the fabric of the shirt, sort of hoping Jaemin won’t hear him at all, but of course he does.

He wraps his arm around him tighter, the blanket higher, in their little cocoon away from the rest of the world. “Me too,” pressing closer, lips against Donghyuck’s hairline, so soft. “Felt like I was going crazy.”

He feels so comfortable, so at peace, Donghyuck must drift off again for a bit. Vaguely he can hear Jaemin’s breathing, deep and rhythmical, and feel the way he brushes his fingers up and down his arm, but he doesn’t want to wake up, or move, or face the world, he just wants to stay here and memorize every tick, every breath, be able to recognize Jaemin by touch alone.

“Hyuck,” he hums softly, though makes no move to stand up. “The coffee will get cold.”

“Don’t care. Sleep.”

He likes when Jaemin giggles, relishes in the sound. “Come on, I have a whole day planned for us.”

That does intrigue Donghyuck, enough to crack an eye open. “But we could stay in bed all day.”

“Or,” Jaemin counters, “We can enjoy the perfectly nice day outside, come to bed later.”

“We could stay in bed, and you could fuck me.”

That does make Jaemin laugh, a loud honk that Donghyuck can feel vibrate in his chest. “I’ll do that anyway, pretty boy,” then, he starts sitting up, pulling the covers away from them. No matter how much he whines, Jaemin lifts him easily, pulling him out of bed before Donghyuck can even blink the sunlight away from his sensitive eyes. One hand on his waist, the other one around a coffee cup, Jaemin smiles at him, smug and yet something soft smudging his eyes.
“Morning, sunshine,” he says, before leaning in the short distance to kiss him, regardless of the morning breath. Not only is his mint scent strong, he tastes like it, too, something that lingers even as he steps away. He’s pushing the cup into his hand now, waggling his eyebrows. “Drink up!”

Jaemin, already back in his jeans and ready to go, bustles around him as Donghyuck gets ready. While he’s in the shower, he’s made his bed and has opened the windows to let the morning breeze in, and Donghyuck would bet anything that he’s also done the dishes he left from dinner last night. He’s quick to help Donghyuck dry himself with the towel, and even more eager to help him with his lotion. He’s not even being sexual about it, instead unendingly caring, making sure to rub the lotion in thoroughly, hands warm and loving, a methodical process like he’s studied this before. It makes Donghyuck feel eager and nervous all at once, too restless.

When the silence and butterflies in his stomach become too much, he has to break it. “Where are we going anyway?”

Jaemin, rubbing the last of the lotion onto his knuckles, shrugs. “There’s that movie Jeno was talking about last week, but first lunch. How does that sound?”

“Great,” Donghyuck says, quickly turning away to find something to put on, anything to distract him from the overwhelming attention. “Um, really great, actually.”

“Great,” Jaemin agrees, only slightly teasing, before walking towards the door, humming under his breath. “I’ll be in the living room, so take your time!”

Finally feeling like he can breathe without his heart trying to choke him, Donghyuck finishes putting on his jeans and whatever shirt he can find that will not suffocate him in the summer heat. It’s a date, even though they never call it as such. It makes Donghyuck wonder, what the hell is so deeply wrong with him, that he can’t tell Jaemin he loves him, but go on dates with him and then try to babytrap him. Something wrong, deep inside, but he decides to ignore that and finish getting ready, drying his hair and fluffing it up one last time before going to find Jaemin.

“Looking cute,” Jaemin tells him when he goes to look for him in the living room, giving him a quick up and down look before standing, walking over to him to adjust the ends of his bangs that get constantly tangled with his eyelashes.

“Just cute?” He asks, letting Jaemin fix him up however he likes.

He adjusts his bangs on last time, then tugs on his shirt until it sits right on his shoulders. He must be deemed ready, because Jaemin takes a few moments to rub the edge of his chin along Donghyuck’s hairline, both his cheeks and the side of his neck, thoroughly scented so he is going to walk around smelling like a damn bakery.

“Super cute,” Jaemin reassures, in the midst of rubbing the glands on the wrists together. It would’ve been faster to just use scent blockers, but he doesn’t say, too happy to let Jaemin dote on him. “The cutest.”

“Damn right,” Donghyuck mutters under his breath, letting Jaemin lead him to the doorway so he can shove on his sneakers, leaving his apartment and making their way down the five flights of stairs, no rush in their step.

Despite his initial reluctance (read: laziness), he feels the sun on his skin, the sky an impossibly bright blue, no clouds in sight, an omen for a lovely day together. Jaemin interlaces their fingers, pulling slightly as they make their way down the street to find his car. Around them, friends, couples, families, all make their way together, and Donghyuck feels inexplicably happy like this. These people don’t know they’re just friends with a stupidly complicated relationship, they might see them and just think they’re together, even mated! Part of him, nowadays a very tiny part, feels ridiculous at the thought, but mostly he just feels happy, matching Jaemin’s pace.

“Where are we going?”

Jaemin hums, looking at him through the corner of his eye before pulling his carkeys out, unlocking it with a soft beep and opening the passenger door for him. He waits until Donghyuck settles before closing the door, quickly making his way across and popping his door open, settling in, tugging on the seatbelt, passing his phone over to Donghyuck so he can play whatever he wants on the ride there.

“Remember that restaurant that opened up a few weeks ago? Finally got a reservation, so it better be fucking great.”

Putting in the password, it’s easy to find the playlist Jaemin has for him on his phone, pressing on shuffle and letting the soft notes of a Japanese ballad filter in around them. They don’t talk much on the ride, just a few minutes of a sort of aimless chatter, updating on each other’s lives since they last saw each other, previous to Donghyuck disappearing on him. It’s only when they’re seated and their drinks have been served that Jaemin gives him a look. He can always just read Donghyuck a little too well. It used to be a problem, still is, in times like this one, where Donghyuck wishes they could both just pretend Donghyuck has been acting as usual and nothing is weird.

Alas, Jaemin doesn’t like easy things, so he takes a long drink of his tea, his throat doing a very nice thing when he swallows, and takes a few more seconds as if he’s not quite sure what the right words might be right now.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

Donghyuck also takes a long drink of his own Diet Pepsi, not quite looking as hot as he continues stalling, speaking only when the silence’s about to get too awkard. “Nothing to talk about, really. Just a tough week at work.”

Jaemin raises an impeccably thick eyebrow at him. “I can always tell when you’re lying, I hope you know that.”

Donghyuck’s eyes roll hard enough to strain. “Not lying,” and then adds, because it’s important, “And so can I!”

Jaemin sighs, but more out of reluctant fondness rather than annoyance, reaching out under the table to tap the tips of their shoes together. “Come on. Something’s been bothering you, and you disappeared on all of us. Not even Mark had heard from you.”

At that Donghyuck deflates a little, shoulders shrinking as he ruminates on that. “Work has been tough,” he mumbles, only a little petulant, before sighing in defeat. “Right, well. Just been thinking about stuff lately. Like, life stuff.”

It comes out so stiff and awkward, Jaemin’s frowns like he doesn’t quite get it. “What type of stuff?”

“Just. You know, like work, and family, and things like that,” Donghyuck replies, still vague, trying to shrug it off. He hopes Jaemin doesn’t fixate on family too much. “A bit of a quarter-life crisis, that’s all.”

It’s clear Jaemin doesn’t believe him. He has that pinched look on his face he wears when he thinks Donghyuck’s being overly difficult. But he’s a good man, a good friend, so he doesn’t press, instead tries to smile at him, a bit hesitant at first. “Well, if you do wanna talk about it, you know you just have to ask.”
Warmth spreads through Donghyuck like early morning sunlight. “I know,” he conscedes, finally relaxing a little in his chair. He taps back on Jaemin’s shoes, crossing their ankles together, and that’s that.

After lunch, movies, and a weekend stuck in Jaemin’s apartment, Donghyuck feels like he can breathe, finally. That unwavering pillar that is Jaemin in his life becomes more apparent as the hours tick by them, and instead of deterring him, it just makes him feel more sure in his decision. Jaemin has to be his, no matter how.

So, like any normal person, Donghyuck strategizes.

First and foremost, he has to make sure he’s healthy. And it become an easy task, seeing as Jaemin really is just that great of an Alpha. His carefully curated diet, a workout routine, a better sleep schedule, and, most difficult of all, cuting the pesky habit of vaping with impressive ease.

Jaemin, as expected, is incredibly supportive the whole way. Like any good Alpha, he practically starts shaking at the prospect of being useful, so he helps with food prepping, and they even start going to the gym together, which has been incredibly difficult to Donghyuck’s psyche and his libido. In any case, he bides his time, until he feels confident and ready to try again.

Lucky for him, it comes sooner rather than later, though he wouldn’t know that until later.

For now, the day starts like any other.

Donghyuck wakes up slowly, almost without realizing, until the early morning light washes against the bedsheets. They’re tangled messily around his legs, sticking to his damp skin even though the early morning breeze sends goosebumps across his skin.

Right, his heat. It came a few days early, in what Donghyuck can only assume is a combination of his new lifestyle and the new hormone change in his system without his birthcontrol. It’s not exactly as debilitating as Donghyuck had feared, but it is just now settling in, and Donghyuck already feels like his body is being washed by crashing waves that push and pull at him, body fevered and needy.

He turns to his side, seeking out the warm body next to him and finding him easily, Jaemin sprawled on his back, his face serene. Yesterday was easy to handle, all things considered. That unbearable pain hadn’t overtaken him, mostly he’d felt kind of the same way one does when you might be falling ill with a cold.

But he’s barely awake right now, and he’s throbbing all over, just feeling like a big exposed nerve.

He hears himself whine, a puppyish sound, but it’s too quiet to stirr the man next to him. Really, Jaemin looks so sweet he doesn’t even want to wake him up, but still his body seeks him out before his mind can stop it, fingers smoothing over the warm skin of Jaemin’s navel, following the lines of his muscles, clearly visible even in this vulnerable state. He inches closer, until he can press his sweaty forehead to Jaemin’s shoulder. In comparison to himself, he feels almost cool, and his sweet-spicy scent fills Donghyuck’s lungs, leaves that familiar stickiness on the the back of his throat the longer he breathes him in. It’s okay, he doesn’t need Jaemin to wake up, he can just slot a leg over his hip and press closer, until his cunt presses on the muscular side of Jaemin’s thigh, only the thin material of their underwear separating them.

Drunk on Jaemin’s scent, how solid he feels against him, Donghyuck rolls his hips in a short, aborted press. He pants, openmouthed, and does it again, seeking friction and relief, and getting very little of both.

He tries not to be too much, but another twitch of his hips has Jaemin stirring, a low hum in his chest that ends with a sigh, his stretched arm curling to sling over Donghyuck’s waist to hold him steady?

“Baby,” Jaemin says, words jumbled with sleep, his voice so gravely it has shivers tickling Donghyuck’s spine. “You okay?”

Donghyuck nods, body inching closer, hips picking an unsteady rhythm now that Jaemin’s awake. “Yes,” he says, but it’s not true, he feels like everything is too sharp around him, his skin too tight, everything too hot. “No. Jaemin, please?”

Jaemin turns to his side so they can face each other, noses bumping as he readjust him on the bed. Instead of awkwardly humping the side of his thigh, like this, Jaemin can push a leg between his own and let Donghyuck writhe against his thigh better, lips brushing each other as Donghyuck’s already struggling to catch his breath.

“Does it hurt?” Jaemin asks, still sleepy but clearly assesing the situation, placing a wide palm on Donghyuck’s hip to help guide each grind better, slower circles of his hip that finally actually rub against his clit, sending pulses of pleasure right to his core.

Donghyuck nods. “Only a bit,” but it’s still said in a weak little whine. “Please, Jaemin…”

And there’s so many ways Donghyuck wants to end that sentence. Please fix it, make it better, help me, take me, breed me, an endless torrent of thoughts that he has to swallow down with every bit of his heat-addled mind. And by this point, their heats and ruts are down to a familiar routine, so Jaemin just hushes him sweetly, tugging his briefs down with one hand with a little difficulty, ridding himself of his boxers too so they’re all skin to skin. With no uncomfortable fabric sticking to him Donghyuck can grind on him fully, eyes rolling back and unseeing, body going stiff. It’s not enough, but it’s the closest to relief he’s felt since he woke up, delicious friction met by burning skin.

“That’s it, baby,” Jaemin whispers, not smug, actually too sweet even as he helps Donghyuck ride him like this. “Let me help you, just like this.”

Donghyuck wants to beg for a kiss, he wants to taste him, to breathe Jaemin in, but he can’t form any words. Jaemin, almost as if he could read his mind but simply won’t give it yet, presses soft kisses against his cheek, and the bridge of his nose, warmth blooming with each seemingly innocent peck. And yet, his hand grips at his hip hard enough to dent the meat there, pressing his tigh firmly against his wet cunt as each slide becomes more erractic. He’s too sensitive, everything feels like too damn much, and it doesn’t take long to bring him to the edge. He comes quietly, with his teeth clenched tight as Jaemin helps him through it. It does help,a little to calm the cramping in his navel and to clear his head, but only the slightest. Mostly, he feels unmoored, like the only thing that can tilt the earth back on its axis is Jaemin, Jaemin, his Alpha.

Annoyingly, the room smells cloyingly sweet, his own scent too ripe in his nostrils. With some shuffling he manages to bring his nose to Jaemin’s neck and inhale deeply, filling his lungs of his refreshig scent, stronger in reponse to his own heat. He feels the fingers on his hips unclench, instead falling to wrap around the dip of his back to rest there reassuringly. Jaemin lets him catch his breath for as long as he needs, the room so quiet Donghyuck could almost fall back asleep, if this wasn’t just getting started.

After what’s probably only a few minutes, Jaemin asks, “Are you hungry, thirsty?”

The idea of food makes his stomach roll, so he shakes his head, and Jaemin hums back in understanding. Eyes still closed, he can only feel it when Jaemin inches away just a little to instead press their clammy foreheads together, a firm touch that last only a handful of seconds before he’s moving away again, leaving a small kiss on the sweaty skin before laying back and letting Donghyuck bury himself in his neck once again. “You’re feverish, but it’s not so bad yet,” Jaemin tells him, though Donghyuck can only hum back, already feeling exhausted, body starting up with that unbearable itch again.

He tries to stave it as long as he can, trying to bask in the closeness. He’s always loved being held, still remembers the first time he and Jaemin ever cuddled, way before they even started fucking. Back then it had felt natural to gravitate towards each other. They’re both so touchy most of the time, and while their friends like to hug more than the average person, it always felt like Jaemin just wouldn’t push him away when he really needed him, and he’s yet to be proved wrong.

There’s none of that innocence now, not with his the slick starting to trickle down his thighs again. He feels ridiculous each and every heat, when he gets so wet it actually stains the bedsheets, but Jaemin never lets him get too embarrassed about it, fingers always swirling around the fluid between his thighs, spreading it, coating his fingers with it to tease him, even to taste him. Donghyuck cracks an eye open, looking down to find Jaemin’s cock hard on his tummy, knot just barely starting to swell. In his fervor to come he’d forgotten all about Jaemin’s cock, but now that he’s seen it his mouth practically waters, hole clenching like his body remembers what it’s like to have him carving space inside of him. On his heats, Jaemin doesn’t even have to worry on fingering him open, Donghyuck’s body so soft and malleable he can always slide inside in one smoth thrust.

The memory of it has Donghyuck growing frantic again, fingers gripping at whatever part of Jaemin they find first, one hand on his forearm, the other one clutching uselessly at his stomach.

“Alpha,” he pants, in a voice he can hardly recognize as his own. He imagines this is what Jezebel sounded like, so needy and wanton like a siren’s call. “Need you.”

He’s reached the point of not being able to string together proper sentences, just half-baked pleas, but Jaemin hums back like he gets it all the same.

“Okay, baby, let me just…” Jaemin, for a painful seconds, lifts up from the bed on his knees, taking all his heat and comfort with him. He doesn’t go to far, helping lift Donghyuck higher on the bed so he can properly rest against a pillow, and the grabbing another one to put underneath his ass to alleviate some of the pressure on his lower back, then crawls in the open space of his legs. Donghyuck wraps around him like a vine, arms and legs circling tight and bringing their fronts together, damp skin sticky and faces so close he can see the effect of his heat on Jaemin. Eyes dark and blown, nostrils flared and mouth parted, like breating through his nose might be too much at the moment.

Jaemin lifts again, and for a moment, Donghyuck panics, thinking he’ll look for a condom. They’ve been using them more often lately, to his detriment, and he feels like he’ll tear up if Jaemin even mentions it. But no. Jaemin simply slithers a hand between their bodies to grab at the base of his cock, uses it to guide it better between them. He runs the wet head over the slit and up, so he can tap it against his swollen clit, just a teasing touch before running it down again between his folds, finding his hole easily.

Donghyuck gasps, bracing for the familiar feeling of being split in two, but it doesn’t come. It’s just the fucking tip, barely breeching him, and Jaemin’s stupidly smug face.

“You want my cock, baby? My knot?”

If Donghyuck didn’t know any better, he’d think his heat triggered Jaemin rut. For a moment there he doesn’t sound like himself at all, voice too rough, too deep. And still, Donghyuck whines for it like a whore, nodding. He’s too weak to try and fuck down on it, unable to do anything but to squeeze his legs tighter around the Alpha’s hips in hope of pushing him in deeper. Jaemin easily overpowers him, pressing his hips down unto the pillow while keeping his own hips perfectly stilll. He smirks again, Donghyuck catching a glint of sharp fangs, and before he can start begging, Jaemin is finally kissing him.

It’s everything, everything he needs. No prelude, no sweetness, Jaemin licks right into his mouth to prop it open wide, groaning loud, cockhead pushing inside him just the slightest as the Alpha melts right into him. His body falls over Donghyuck like a heavy blanket, leaving him little wiggle room, and it feels like heaven. He clumisly tries to kiss back, just as eager but too cockdumb for it. His mind is foggy again, he can’t think, can only feel and chase the distinctive taste of Jaemin’s spit as they kiss, marveling on just how wet he is all over; his slick, their sweat, the warm saliva coating his chin and the corners of his mouth.

Donghyuck can hardly even kiss him back, tongue lapping uselessly, and it’s only in his distraction that Jaemin finally sheathes himself in. That one sweet, overwhelming slide, with Donghyuck’s body yielding beautifully until they’re pressed pelvis to pelvis, thick knot barely pressing at his entrance, threatening to plug him up all too soon.

That sound that rips out of his throat is animalistic, deafening in the otherwise silent room. His whole body tightens, muscles wound so tight he has to breathe in deep, remind his body to relax, to take it.  

“G-god, fuck,” he pants, or tries too, words garbled, already a tad bit too wobbly. He tries to form any words and finds that he simply can’t, too damn overwhelmed. Jaemin’s answering growl has him shivering all over, brancing for it as Jaemin pulls out, inch by agonizing inch, all the way to the tip before fucking back in.

Without warning, he comes again.

Jaemin stays buried inside as Donghyuck whole body twitches on the bed sheets, cunt clenching so tight it makes a thin breath wheeze out of him. On his heat, it’s always a little too easy to come, and yet each one hits just as intensely as if he’d never been touched before. He finds that he can’t breathe at all, chest stuck as his orgasm burns right through him, Jaemin’s cock pressing in deep, whispering sweet things as he helps him through it. He circles his hips, unable to move much but it’s enough for Donghyuck to start seeing stars. It feels like he’ll never come down, nerves lighting on fire when Jaemin slowly but surely starts fucking him again. Paced, at first, hardly pulling out before pressing back in, hips making a wet slap with each thrust. His body shivers violently, trying to inch away from the stimulation but finding himself unable to do so. He gasps loudly, nails sinking into the meat of Jaemin’s shoulders. He tries to form some words, unsure if he wants to tell Jaemin to stop or to hurry the fuck up, and comes up unable to do either, only a whiny sort of sound leaving his throat.

“Yeah?” Jaemin asks, slowly but surely picking up speed. Their skin is damp and slippery against each other, the temperature so high Donghyuck can’t tell if they’re fogging up, or if his eyes are just teary. “Yeah? That feel good?”

Donghyuck, desperate, nods, noses brushing together with the motion. He tries again to speak but can’t, only these sweet moans that he knows must be driving Jaemin insane, gasping against him when Jaemin fucks him hard, deep, lifting his hips off the pillow and arching his back just so.

That’s as much talking as they manage. Like he’s trying to fuse their very molecules together, Jaemin slips his arms underneath him, holding them tight around his waist and bringing them impossibly closer. This new angle, with his hips raised by the pillow and held tight to Jaemin’s chest, Donghyuck’s back arches. In any other instant it might be uncomfortable, but like this it just allows Jaemin to fuck him deeper, the angle pressing against his walls so good, hitting that little spot that leaves Donghyuck’s mind absolutely blank.

Their scents mix so well, deliriously he thinks it’s what their home would smell like, if they were mated. If Jaemin got him pregnant, Donghyuck’s scent would slowly grow that sweet milky scent of a pregnant Omega, and Jaemin’s scent would grow spicier, marking him all over.

“Alpha,” he gasps, even though his tongue feels heavy in his mouth, hardly able to breathe in enough to speak. “N-need it, please.”

Jaemin grunts, hips growing clumsy for a second. He shushes Donghyuck, warm against his neck. His teeth brush menancingly, and on insitict he bends his neck in offering. It would be so easy for Jaemin to just do it, take him, make him his, and yet the Alpha resists. Instead of ripping into the skin, he presses a deceptively sweet kiss on his scent gland, even as his arms tighten enough to constrict him. “Shh, baby, it’s okay. Let me take care of you.”

When he squeezes his eyes shut, he finally feels the heat of the tears he’d been holding in this whole time fall, two warm streams that slide to the sides of his face and further dampen his matted hair at the temples. Jaemin’s hips pick up speed, bodies bouncing up the bed as each obscene slap echos around them.

But once he’s started Donghyuck can’t stop talking. “Breed me, please?” And it starts sweet, voice like honey, almost too soft to hear above the wet sounds of the cock fucking into him, pushing out slick with every thrust. “Want it, want your pups. Please Jaemin, it hurts, please?”

It does hurt, that familiar cramping low in his guts that doesn’t get easier to deal with every passing heat. He wishes he understood the anatomy of it all better, but right now, cock-drunk and pussy pulsing as his next orgasm builds, and builds, Donghyuck can’t think of anything else. “Wanna be f-full, ngh! Full of –hah– you! Feels so good, always Jaemin, feels so good…”

He tapers off, words becoming incoherent once again because the Alpha kisses him, hard, a sharp fang catching on his lip before a tongue is there to soothe it. Hardly kissing, but his mouth is full of Jaemin’s tongue, his scent so overwhelming Donghyuck can hardly catch his own saccharine smell, only Jaemin, Jaemin, his Alpha that treats him so good. Takes care of him, fucks him like no one else.

And Jaemin sort of loses it right there. He starts fucking Donghyuck, truly fucking him. Rough and fast in a way he usually only does when rutting, just pounding him out until all Donghyuck can do is pant, trying to catch his breath, if only he could stop moaning and begging long enough. It’s filthy, the slide so slippery, their hips slapping wetly. No longer that precises rhythm to make Donghyuck crazy, it’s all over the place now, his Alpha unable to contain himself, knot just sort of catching every few thrusts, so close, so fucking close.

When their lips separate, it’s with a wet smack. Donghyuck wants to cry about it, but when he peeks an eye open he realizes Jaemin has turned all together, his teeth tight over his own shoulder. It’s not quite strong enough to be a mating bite, but he can see a small trickle of blood as Jaemin keeps pumping his hips. But his eyes remain stuck on Donghyuck’s face, focused in a way that should be intimidating. Heavy lidded and slightly obscured, Jaemin doesn’t look away, not even when his knot finally pops in. The relief is almost instant, slotting inside perfectly even as it feels like Donghyuck can’t take it, like he simply can’t fit anything else inside him anymore. But it does fit. It presses in, settles as Donghyuck’s muscles lock right around it, and when he comes this time around, it’s to the feeling of Jaemin coating his walls.

They moan in unison, and even though one eye squeezes shut again, the other one remains on his Alpha’s face like he can’t dare to look away. Jaemin’s jaw has tightened, lips growing a tempting red with his own blood. Donghyuck comes without even a sound, or a sigh, body strung tight as Jaemin grinds in deeper, trying to shove his knot further inside. There’s nowhere else to go, he wants to say, he’s marked Donghyuck and made him his already, but he can’t. He can’t, because his body –previously strung taut like a string, finally just… unwinds. Melts, right into the mattress, even as his thighs, still wrapped around Jaemin’s hips, shake and spasm out of his control.

They’ll be stuck like this for a while. Knots always deflate slower during cycles, and even though he should feel suffocated, Donghyuck rides the waves of his orgasm as they come, relishing in the comfortable weight that presses him right into the matress.

Eventually, Jaemin jaw relaxes and lets go of his own muscle. The skin is irritated, but not all teeth perforated the skin, so they can wait until they separate to clean it properly.

When Jaemin kisses him this time, he’s ready for it. Rather than the messy, desperate presses of before, they linger now. Unhurried, Jaemin takes his bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it until it bruises. He tastes metallic, but Donghyuck doesn’t mind, propping his mouth open so he can chase the taste of it with his tongue. Every so often Jaemin’s cock twitches, spurting more come inside of him. Donghyuck feels some of it spill down towards his ass cheeks, mixing with his own drying slick, but he doesn’t mind, sighing into the kiss, hugging Jaemin tighter with weak limbs.

“Okay?” Jaemin asks him between kisses, voice soft. He sounds like his Jaemin again, attentive and attuned to his body. He feels warm, not heat fever but just too happy and sated, feeling like he’s back in his own mind, at least for a moment.

He pecks at Jaemin’s red mouth once, then one more time because it brings out a gentle smile that only grows sweeter. He settles back in the sheets, feeling a little more like himself, even if the heat remains at the edges. He’s safe here.

“Perfect.” He runs the tip of his finger around the fresh bite mark on Jaemin’s shoulder, avoiding the think slits of the open wound, a frown taking over his face. “You could’ve bit me instead.”

Jaemin doesn’t reply immediately. His eyes dance around Donghyuck’s face, drinking him in as he processes everything. “Could have, huh?” He nods, a lazy loll of his head because his whole body still feels like jelly. He expects a laugh, or a scoff at the very least, but receives neither. The silence is unnerving, really, and he fears he might have overstepped, somehow. He wants to fix it, but is unsure of what to say. To his credit, Jaemin doesn’t look angry, or uncomfortable, his handsome features completely neutral. Nervous, Donghyuck decides to close his eyes. He takes a deep breath, trying to remain calm, focusing instead on the rhythm of Jaemin’s breath, and the thumping of his own heartbeat as it tries to settle.

Jaemin starts circling his hips again. Donghyuck gasps, eyes popping wide to try and look down between their bodies, though all he can see is their torsos stuck together. But then Jaemin does it again, bucking his hips in one strong push that brings him impossibly deeper. They’re both sensitive, the friction makes them hiss in unison, but Jaemin doesn’t stop. His knot still holds them tightly together, but no matter, Jaemin starts a steady rhythm, grinding their bodies together. Maddened with the sensations, with oversensitivity, Donghyuck feels like he’ll go crazy. Jaemin fills him up so thoroughly, Donghyuck swears he can feel him up to his throat, punching whatever breath he’d managed to catch right out of him.

“J-Jae-min,” he hiccups, voice wet again, haunted by the overwhelming sensation. At any other moment, it would hurt, it would stretch him beyond limits, would leave Donghyuck feeling raw. But high on pheromones, slick and now come thickly helping the slide, the pain quickly starts morphing into delicious pleasure. “Can’t, I can’t, I can’t!”

Jaemin grunts, hips picking up their pace. It’s a fascimile of fucking, as much as he can pound away at him when their bodies are still interlocked, but it makes his body writhe in what can only be frantic ecstasy.

“Yes you can,” Jaemin hisses. If anything, his Alpha is probably the one in pain, overstimulating himself for Donghyuck’s pleasure. It’s not like Jaemin can come again just yet, but that doesn’t deter him, he doesn’t even slow down. “You will come again on my knot,” Jaemin tells him, but through in this gravel-rough voice it’s more of a command. “And again, again, again.”

A rough kiss, one that leaves his lips smarting, one that only last a few seconds is pressed on his mouth. But before Donghyuck can kiss back there’s a hot mouth crawling down his neck, to his gland. It’s soaked with the oily pheromones, and Donghyuck can only imagine how that tastes at this moment. Jaemin kisses it, nibbles lightly on it, coaxing desperate sounds out of Donghyuck’s lips that steaily sound more like overwhelmed sobs. He’s throwing his head back to make more space, to entice Jaemin into ripping into the skin, but to no avail, each bite remains nothing but a tease, a promise.

The coil in his stomach keeps tigheting, whole body shaking like a leaf in Jaemin’s steady hold. There’s tears streaming down his face now, he even thinks there’s drool on his chin, though it could be his or Jaemin’s, at this point he wouldn’t be able to tell.

Then Jaemin does bite, not on his claiming gland, but on the meat of his shoulder closest to it, to match the bite on the Alpha’s shoulder. It’s hard, a pressure that makes Donghyuck gasp so roughly his throat stings, but the Alpha doesn’t let up, not until the pain turns into blinding pleasure. Cock buried deep inside, Donghyuck comes again.

It’s too much. Too raw, too sensitive, too soon. But Jaemin holds him through it even as Donghyuck claws at him, crying out these desperate sounds as his whole body clenches and twitches in unsteady waves. Vaguely, underneath his own raspy voice, he hears Jaemin moan. Coming again, he realizes, as more wetness fills him up, his cock throbbing and twitching.

Blinding, mind-numbing pleasure, Donghyuck lets himself go, knowing Jaemin will be there to catch him.

----

“Where are you going?”

Donghyuck, all things considered, feels pretty fucking good right now. He had felt sort of dizzy after breakfast, which Jaemin had taken completely out of proportion by making him stay in bed and have some tea and honey concoction to soothe his stomach. Now, well in the afternoon and after a nap, Jaemin looked… funny.

“I just have to go pick something up at the store,” he replies vaguely, rolling on socks while sitting on the edge of the bed. He looks pretty bathed in early afternoon sunlight, his lashes long and his cheeks soft rather than their usual sharpness. Donghyuck likes him so bad, all he wants to do is munch on him. He pouts, he can’t help it, making grabby hands at Jaemin once the other stands up. Jaemin smiles at him, he must be making a pretty lame sight, but he still bends over to plant a big wet kiss square on his pouted lips, quick before springing away and towards the door again.

“I’ll be back soon!”

The apartment is quiet in Jaemin’s absence. It’s ridiculous, but Donghyuck immediately feels so lonely it makes his chest ache. To distract himself, he decides to finally get out of bed, happy to find that he no longer feels wobbly. He picks up a shirt from Jaemin’s desk chair, haphazardly thrown there yesterday after hanging out with Jeno and Jisung, and decides to step into the living room.

He finds Lucy and Luke napping in the cat tree Jaemin has situated by the window, and he imagines Luna must be somewhere in the kitchen, where a nice pool of sunlight starts  flooding the floor right around this time. Jaemin’s fancy couch is huge and plushy, and he melts right into the cloudy softness as he decides to fuck around on his phone until Jaemin makes it back.

Either Donghyuck was thoroughly entertained, or Jaemin is just good at keeping his promise, but it’s not long before the door dings and unlocks just as Donghyuck is reading through their groupchat, which he’d been accidentally-on-purpose ignoring for several days.

He sits up eagerly, twisting on the couch so he can smile up at Jaemin as he finally steps into the living room. In one hand, he has Donghyuck’s order from the bubble tea shop a few blocks away, and in the other one, a brown paper bag. He smiles at Donghyuck, stepping closer to offer the milktea first. Donghyuck takes it happily, popping the straw in and scooting in close once Jaemin sits next to him to bump their shoulders together. Jaemin stares like a creep until Donghyuck takes a few hearty sips, rolling his eyes all the while at the theatrics. Sweet and smooth, he sighs happily after swallowing, leaning against Jaemin’s side to smile up at him.

He gets a smile back, though more hesitant than he’s used to. Then, Jaemin hands him the paper bag. It’s light, and he’s quick to crack it open, expecting some sort of snack. Instead, he finds three little boxes, all the same very familiar brand.

Pregnancy tests.

Milktea forgotten, Donghyuck stares at them for what feels like an eternity. Jaemin doesn’t even say anything, or try to offer an explenation. When Donghyuck finally does look at him, he looks nervous, though his handsome face is set in that neutral look that means he doesn’t want Donghyuck to panic.

“I think,” Jaemin starts, voice calm, “that you should try those.”

Donghyuck stares at him a while longer, stretching the silence like putty. “I already did,” he confesses quietly, realizing that Jaemin doesn’t look angry or scared, just tense. Nervous. “Two weeks ago. They were negative.”

He watches Jaemin bite onto his lower lip, insistant, a nervous habit he never quite managed to rid himself of. Then he nods, looking into Donghyuck’s eyes in a way that, despite the tension, is reassuring. “You should try again.”

He feels himself nod, and he realizes that he’s put his damn milktea down to stand and walk over to the bathroom, but it’s all robotic, an out of body experience. Once inside, completely alone, he takes a deep breath, taking a chance to look at himself in the mirror. He’s both pale and somehow flushed, if that were even possible, his eyes so stupidly wide. He looks scared, he realizes, though nothing about Jaemin’s reaction is screaming I hate you quite yet. One last sigh, and then he’s taking the boxes out of the bag, setting them on the counter.

Since the first time they had sex after getting off the pill, Donghyuck has taken around eight of these little tests. He’d bought the cheapest ones he could find first, but this is one of the fancier ones, with the little screen that tells you you’re pregnant, no faint plus sign to agonize over. Three of them. This, too, he knows how to do and he does so without thinking. Soon the caps are back on, and he’s dashing back to the couch to hand them to Jaemin as they load the results, shoving them against his chest. Donghyuck curls into a ball on the other end of the couch, both hating and needed the space between them.

“I can’t look,” he whispers rather loudly, fingers tangling into the roots of his hair and pulling a little in stress. Jaemin nods, still with that overall air of someone who has it all under control, though his eyes also have this slight crazed look in them. They wait in silence as the three minutes pass by in what feels like a stretched eternity.

Finally, Jaemin looks at them, then at Donghyuck. Then the tests. His face remains impassive, and the longer the silence stretches, the more disillusioned he feels. He uncurls himself from the armrest, inching closer slowly, finally next to Jaemin. His scent is… good, actually. Spicy enough to crinkle his nose, and strong, though that could fucking mean anything.

He reaches out as if to grab the tests, but his hand stops mid air. He looks up at Jaemin, biting his bottom lip hard enough to lift some thin skin off of it. “What is it?”

Jaemin turns them to him silently. There it is, three matching Pregnant results. He has to blink down at them, trying to convince himself he’s not hallucinating. He’d imagined how he’d feel before, if any of the tests had come back positive, the fear and the elation, how he’d tell Jaemin the truth. He hadn’t imagined he’d be so happy he immediately bursts into tears. He tries to hold them back, he really does, hand clapping to his mouth as they start falling down his cheeks. Jaemin is there immediately, tests falling to his lap as he gathers Donghyuck into his arms, holding him tightly.

“Hey,” he whispers, shusing him lightly. “Hyuckie, it’s okay, we’ll be okay,” he must be taking in his distressed scent, because he goes on to add, “We’ll do whatever you want, okay? Don’t cry.”

Fear, that’s what Donghyuck’s feeling. It seizes his heart so quickly, exhaustively, he can’t think, he simply starts babbling. “I’m sorry, Jaemin, I don’t know what came over me!”

Arms squeeze him tighter. “Honey, sorry for what?”

Donghyuck sniffles wetly, rubbing his face into Jaemin’s chest, smearing tears and snot all over the fabric. “I lied!” He sobs, trying to get closer to Jaemin, who accomodates him easily. “I-I threw away my birth control, and I never got the day after pill either! And-!”

He continues, truth spilling without an ending in sight, even though it’s all unintelligible, he’s crying too hard and smearing his words all over Jaemin’s steady shoulder. For a while Jaemin lets him go on and on like this, occasionally shushing him sweetly, one wide hand rubbing over his back soothingly as Donghyuck tires himself out.

He’s sure several minutes must have passed like this, but Jaemin waits to speak until Donghyuck’s sobs have finally subsided, calming down to pitiful sniffles every so often. “Okay now?” and he waits for him to nod before squeezing him one last time, letting him go slowly so he can look at Donghyuck’s messy face. “Hyuck, look at me.”

He whines, shaking his head, eyes squeezing tightly and pushing even more fat tears down his cheek. “Please, baby, look at me.”

There’s kind fingers patting away his tears, patient as they clean his face as well as possible. He doesn’t want to, but cautiously he opens his eyes to meet Jaemin’s. Just like earlier, Jaemin is the epitome of calm. He doesn’t look disgusted, which does make Donghyuck’s chest lighten up the slightest bit. Once he deems that Donghyuck won’t crumple in his lap again, Jaemin rumages around in his sweatpant’s pockets. He pulls out a pill, and then, a condom packet. Donghyuck frowns down at them for a few seconds, not understanding at all, then looks back at Jaemin. Finally his calm semblance cracks, and his cheeks have pinkened up a little bit at the very top. “This,” Jaemin mumbles, clearly embarassed, “is the Plan B I bought but never actually gave you. And this is one of the many condoms I had… poked holes in.”

Donghyuck lets them linger in silence as he process everything. Indeed, after squiting at the rubber, he can see the tiny holes on the condom wrapper. It’s black, and unless Donghyuck had been actively paying attention, he never would have noticed.

“You were trying to get me pregant?!”

Jaemin has the decency to look ashamed, though he’s frowing too. “Yeah, well, you were trying to get pregnant, so. How about that, huh.”

Pricked condom, pregnancy tests haphazardly thrown over their laps, and a melting cup of milktea on the coffee table, the situation finally seems to sink in for Donghyuck. There’s still snot in his damn nose, so when he snorts it’s a wet, honking sound that would be embarrassing if it were anyone but Jaemin. He starts giggling, can’t help it, and it only gets worse when Jaemin’s handsome face slackens in surprise. He starts laughing like a madman, tears springing to his eyes again as he slaps the condom right out of Jaemin’s hand.

He finally climbs onto Jaemin’s lamp, who despite being dumbfounded helps him accommodate and settle on top of him.

“Oh my God,” Donghyuck giggles, trying to breath, to calm down. “We are so fucked up.”

Jaemin pouts a bit, but it quickly melts into a smile, huffing with relieved laughter. “I mean. A little, yeah,” he inclines his head so their foreheads bump, letting Donghyuck giggle milktea breath all over his face. “But… we’re good, right?”

He doesn’t need to answer. Kissing Jaemin is just as effective of an answer. Their lips meet eagerly, a little off center and a lot wet with tacky tears, just short pecks because Donghyuck is too giddy to properly kiss him.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out between kisses, words muffled by Jaemin’s lips. “That’s what I kept smelling the whole morning, what the hell!” He pauses, using his palms to push Jaemin away by the chest to raise a suspicious eyebrow at him. “Did you know this whole time?”

Jaemin’s mouth twists into a cute little thing, caught and guilty. “For like a week, yeah.”

How did Donghyuck not fucking know, he wonders, but he’s too happy to put much thought into it. There’s a more pressing question that he can’t stop thinking about, anyway.

“So…” he starts, hesitating for a second. Jaemin’s eyes are too warm, he can no longer look at them, so his gaze falls low, to Jaemin’s shoulder, where, underneath the fabric, the bite has healed up nicely, matching the one on his own shoulder. “Does this mean that you, well…What does this mean?”

He knows Jaemin is scrutinizing him, with eyes so intense Donghyuck feels like he’s an open book with all the answers written plainly in the corners of his eyes and the edge of his jaw, but he lets it happen anyway. It’s only a few seconds later that Jaemin is pressing closer again, lips brushing when he answers.

“Means I love you,” Jaemin confesses in a quiet whisper. “Means I want to be yours.”

His voice doesn’t waver, and his hands on Donghyuck’s hips don’t shake. Steady and strong as always, Donghyuck can’t help but melting into his touch, once again seeking out to kiss him, to press himself all across the length of Jaemin’s strong body and stay there for ever.

And even though his body is answer enough —literally, carrying his baby and everything—Donghyuck smiles into the kiss, pressing the words into Jaemin’s mouth like they’ll stay there, tattooed forever. “I love you, too. Too damn much.”

LEGENDS

hyuck

[a picture; three positive pregnancy tests and a peace sign]

hi guys

jun-ah

OH HELL NO.

markie hyung

haha guys

you’re joking right.

Guys.

Jeno

(..◜ᴗ◝..)

Scary, but congrats.