Chapter Text
Grace was grateful for what the Eridians had done for him, he’d be the first to tell you that. He was a creature so far removed from the species typical understanding of life, his comfortable living conditions so reactive—so strange—in comparison to their own it was terrifying. He was a literal alien!
Despite that, however, they still put in so much effort into making sure he was comfortable—into making sure he was happy—that thinking about it for any longer than a few minutes left him teary eyed.
That did not stop him from being incredibly bored.
Grace fiddled with the small bit of synthesized fabric he had been painstakingly trying to craft into a scarf (it did not look like a scarf. If anything, it looked like a spider had gotten drunk and tried to make its best approximation of a tube), humming idly in thought.
Even knowing the struggles he and Rocky faced in space—and the absolute certainty that he did not want to go through anything similar ever again—the anxiety-inducing events had done wonders to keep him occupied.
“How long humans live, question?”
Grace paused, turning away from the project he had been idly tinkering with to blink stupidly at his best friend. His best friend who… he forgot was there (time seemed to drift by like wind, these days).
”Uhm, well—that’s kind of a complicated question?” Grace said, thumbing the bottom of his jacket as he thought over an answer. The two xeononite needles clinked together loudly as he set them down gently on top of his already littered countertop.
”Humans typically live to around ninety Earth years, VVI Eridian years. But that kind of thing can change from person to person, usually due to health and general living conditions.” Grace rubbed his chin, before quickly moving to adjust his falling glasses.
They hadn’t really talked much about the differing life-spans of their species. First, it was because the weight of what they were doing made learning the intricacies of their differing societies and cultures a side-task, only to be explored in times of extended waiting. Then, it was simply because the topic just… never really seemed to come up.
Grace knew with certainty that Eridians lived for a very long time. Back when the two of them were first getting to know each other—only just barely grasping the other's language—Rocky had gone on long tangents about the many many years he and his mate, Adrian, had been together before the Astrophage crisis. He knew, compared to Eridians, that even the oldest of humans were basically babies.
Rocky whirred, a noncommittal tune that showed he was thinking about something big and didn’t know how to voice it properly.
”And how old is Grace, question?”
Grace blinked, hit with the sudden realisation of where exactly this conversation was steering into.
”Let’s see…” Grace bit his lip, toying with the flesh in an obvious bid for time.
“I was in my mid-thirties when I left, then I was put under for four years… plus the years it took to get to Erid…” Grace said, eyes lingering at the open window. The artificial sun seemed to mock him.
”I’m around my late sixties, now? Give or take?”
Rocky let out a sour note, a mix of pain and disbelief.
”Grace is going to die? Grace is going to die soon? And did not think to tell Rocky?” Rocky yelled, stomping his claws as he began to pace Grace’s small living room.
He rubbed the back of his neck, waving a hand as he tried to figure out how to handle an Eridian that already looked to be ignoring him in favor of stewing in his own anger.
”I’m not even seventy, yet. Thirty years is a long time for a human!” He defended, standing up from the couch to follow Rocky as he chittered and mumbled under his breath.
”Thirty years is not long for an Eridian! Barely a blink!” Rocky stomped for emphasis, waving his claws erratically at Grace with a pointed buzz.
Back when they were on the Hail Mary, in a moment of pure grief, Rocky had admitted to them that he had been alone in the Tau Ceti system for almost forty six years. Rocky had told him, then, that forty six was not considered a long time for Eridians—but it had felt like a long time when he was alone.
”Species is so fragile! Cannot even live to Eridian adulthood!”
Grace huffed, shaking his head to rid himself of those depressing thoughts, and crouched to meet Rocky at eye level. He was slightly offended at jab, but decided to table those feelings for now.
“Rocky—Rocky,” He reached out, placing a firm hand at the top of his best friend’s carapace.
“You're not going to lose me anytime soon. I still have plenty of time.” Grace said with a smile, leaning for one of their signature hugs. Grace was lying, really—but he chose not to think about the silver strands he kept finding in his hair, or the rigidity of his bones that only got worse the longer he spent in the doubled gravity. Talking about it would only make Rocky worry.
Rocky grumbled, lifting his arms to grudgingly reciprocate the action. Grace could tell that this was a topic that would not be dropped anytime soon, but he was content to let it lie for now. There were only so many days of the week Rocky has been able to visit now that Erid’s space program had taken off. Eridians of various backgrounds and knowledge desperately wanted Rocky's input on all sorts of cosmic fairing ventures—Rocky had complained that it was overwhelming, even for an Eridian.
”C’mon, bud. While you’re here, we can catch up on the last few episodes of The House Wives.”
Rocky whirred happily, dancing excitedly to the living room and tugging gently on Grace’s cardigan as he chatted on and on about the “cultural merits of romantic-drama.”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
It was, as he expected, not a topic Rocky was keen on forgetting.
This last month alone Grace’s best friend had brought up the topic a total of twenty-seven times, at least once per visit. Sometimes, the first words Rocky would say to him once he finally managed to open the door was “Grace any closer to dying, question?”
The incessant pestering was driving him a little insane—but it was more sweet than anything. Just another way of Rocky showing how deeply he cared about Grace.
“And Grace is sure there is no human technology that extends human life expectancy?”
Grace sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He took it back, this rock is going to turn his brain into goo.
“Yes, Rocky. I’m sure. That type of stuff was mostly science-fiction—or theories so far out of our technological capabilities people wouldn’t have been able to test them even if they wanted to.” He muttered, turning his head away from the TV to look at his nervously chittering companion.
Once the topic of human frailty had come up, Rocky had begun showing a renewed interest in all sorts of human sciences—specifically those relating to biology. Grace had tried to explain to him that, while he had a pretty good overall grasp of biology because of his degree, he was by no means an expert on the entire field as a whole. This did not dissuade Rocky, however—as he simply began to ask more general questions, rather than the ultra specific questions he had before (why did he want to know the specifics of inheritance and probability, anyway? There were no other humans here except for Grace).
Rocky seemed to be lost in deep thought, nervously tapping one of his claws against the hard floor of his living room as he pondered over… something. It seemed that Rocky had been thinking about whatever he was thinking about for a while now—or, at least, since the first time Grace had explained the relatively short life-span of humans.
He exited out of the movie they had been only half-watching for the last few minutes, setting the remote down on the couch arm and fidgeting uncomfortably.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked, shifting forward to get just the slightest bit closer to his friend.
Rocky, for the last few weeks, had been drifting through Grace’s home like he was trying to figure out some complicated puzzle. It felt akin to having some sort of estranged cousin over rather than someone he almost died for, and the insurmountable distance drove a stone deep in his heart. Grace tried not to feel this way, telling himself Rocky was likely dealing with a lot of pressure as of late—but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Rocky might just… leave, and go somewhere Grace can't follow.
“What if…” Rocky started, pulling Grace’s attention once more.
“What if Rocky figures out a way to extend Grace’s life?”
Grace stilled, his breath caught in his throat as he thought over the numerous ways he could answer.
This… this was what had been bothering him? Grace’s limited mortality?
Grace knew Rocky loved him, just like Grace loved Rocky—but to think about how much losing Grace had brought Rocky out of sorts was almost… heartbreakingly endearing.
Grace scratched at the soft fuzz that lined his cheeks with a blunt, chewed off fingernail, squinting as he carefully considered the question. Was extending human life even actually possible? Grace knew that, in theory, it could be done—but was that something he really wanted? Was that something he could say yes to, knowing that if Rocky couldn’t figure out a way he’d be infinitely disappointed?
He drummed a finger against his thigh, before letting out a slow breath.
“I don’t know, Rocky. That’s—I’ve never thought about it, before.” Grace said, so quiet it was practically a whisper. Like he was trying to hide the answer. He knew that Rocky heard him, anyway.
Rocky let out an inquisitive hum, claws nervously opening and closing as he seemed to mull over his response.
“Grace does not want to live long like Rocky, question?”
He let out a small chuckle, shaking his head.
“That’s—that’s not it, bud. I’m just… worried about you. What if you can’t crack the code to a longer life, and you have to watch me die after trying so hard? Humans have been trying to do it for centuries, ya know?”
A breath of steam roared from Rocky’s carapace, fogging up his clear xeononite suit as he began to walk in quick, continuous circles. His mind seemed to once again take him by storm.
This was not the first time Rocky had worked himself into a stupor just through thought alone. The many years being aboard the Hail Mary and fretting over complex problems (like how to ensure Grace would be able to sustain himself once his food reserves finally depleted. Like how to prevent Grace from dying before they reached Erid. Like how to keep him from dying after they finally did) made him accustomed to these short, but manageable outbursts.
Grace sighed, but sunk deeper down into his couch. He knew that Rocky would explain his thought process eventually.
Rocky tilted his carapace towards his friend in acknowledgement.
“Human technology is better in some aspects, yes. But Eridian technology is also better in others! Rocky will surely find a way.” He finally said, stomping one of his claws in emphasis as he stood proudly in front of Grace.
Grace smiled
“I’m sure you could! But…” he swallowed, turning his head to look out towards the wide expanse of beach and artificial ocean.
In all honesty, Grace wasn’t sure a longer life was something he could stomach. If he said yes, if Rocky did manage to find a way to give him an Eridian-long lifespan, he would long outlive everyone he’d ever known on Earth.
The time dilation already assured him that he’d die much later than the friends and acquaintances he had made during the building of the Hail Mary project—something that still unnerves him, even now—but he would have at least died in a what would be considered a reasonably short timeframe in comparison to an Eridian one.
Maybe… maybe he wanted it, though. Maybe these short twelve years on Erid, plus whatever time he had left, just wasn’t enough for him.
It wasn’t. It isn’t, Grace thinks—but he’s not entirely ready to make such a momentous decision.
“Could I think about it for a little while?” He mumbled, pulling his cardigan tighter around his shoulders.
Rocky jumped for joy, giving Grace jazz hands as he happily danced up to join him on the coach.
“Yes Yes! Think for a long time! Gives Rocky many opportunities to explore new ideas!”
Grace laughed, wrapping an arm around his friend as he turned back towards his TV. (Really, it was just a screen from the Don’t Go Crazy Room, but same difference).
“Thanks bud. You’re the best.” He said, running a finger gently over the top of Rocky’s carapace.
Rocky hummed happily as he smothered himself further into Grace’s arm, trilling as he booted up one of Rocky’s latest film fascinations, Avatar.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
It had been nearly a year before Grace finally even came to a semblance of an opinion on the matter.
His head was still reeling over the implications of the concept—extending human life! A feat that has been reserved to fiction and nonsensical magics since humans could comprehend mortality! It was exciting, he admits.
Grace rubbed at his arm, fingering the thick, calloused scars that ran up and down the length of flesh.
It was also terrifying. Humans weren’t built to live that long—humans weren’t even built to make it past a single century without intense complications. If Grace says yes, he’ll be alive for much longer than a single century.
Grace vigorously rubbed at his face, glasses hanging low on his chin as he thought and thought and thought.
He wants this. He wants this so bad and he doesn’t know how he should feel about that.
Is it greedy to want more time with his best friend? With the world he’s come to see as home? Grace thought it was—Grace thought he was selfish for wanting this chance he’d been gifted on a silver platter that no one else ever has.
He thinks briefly of his two crewmates that died on the way to Tau Ceti—Olesya IIyukhina and Yao Li-Jie, names that still rang loud and clear in his head like crashing bells—and is suddenly hit with an intense bitterness.
They should have been here. They should have lived, so that they could have been offered this too, some part of him whispers. But most of him is glad that they are not. None of them would have survived the trip to Erid if they had been.
Grace sighs, moving sluggishly towards his kitchen. It was too early for these thoughts. Too early to compartmentalize all these silly feelings into the proper boxes so he can pick through and examine them without bias. Early is relative, since there was no true day-night cycle besides the artificial one the Eridians had made for him, but the still sleep-ridden fog of his brain didn’t truly care. The sun had just come out, and he needed his morning coffee (or, more accurately, his taumeoba, caffeinated sludge equivalent. There had, miraculously, been untoasted coffee beans stored deep within the Hail Mary’s forgotten repository compartments, but the Eridians still weren’t confident they could create an optimal environment for the seeds to sprout properly).
Today was… well, it was one of his rest days. The proverbial “weekend,” so to speak. Grace had long given up working around a purely Earthen calendar—but it still brought him a bit of comfort to refer to these types of things in the way he grew up to know them. It was honoring his original home, almost. Rocky thinks it’s silly, he knows, but Adrian had been enthralled by the human’s psychological response to homesickness.
Grace paused in the doorway of his kitchen, scratching at the worn cotton of his pajama shirt.
I haven’t seen Adrian in a while, he thought, incredulous.
While the larger, calmer one of the mated pair did not visit the bio-dome as often as Rocky, they were still usually a frequent visitor. He cannot recall the last time he has seen Adrian in person.
Grace hummed, strolling over to Armando and gratefully grabbing the steaming mug from his robotic fingers.
“Thanks, buddy,” he mumbled, absentmindedly rubbing his palm against the top of Armando's claw-head before turning back towards his living room.
Grace wondered, briefly, if Adrian had become busy with another big project.
He sat down heavily on his couch, silently slurping up the hot juice that fogged up his glasses as it steamed. Adrian often forgot to visit the local human when something extraordinary and exciting happened between thrums. Last time, it was because one of the local zoologist thrums managed to find evidence of a species they had long thought extinct.
Rocky had told Grace about it—telling him that its return was likely contributed to the returning warmth of Eridani’s star—but he wasn’t particularly interested in sharing many details, citing that “Adrian is expert on wildlife, Rocky only engineer.”
Grace chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled a blanket around his (surprisingly cold) shoulders.
He had truly come to think of Adrian as one of his closest friends—especially after all the years the two have shared together. Rocky would always be his number one, but Adrian had become a close second. Grace missed the big guy—not that he’d admit that to Rocky.
Grace sighed, placing his emptied mug on his dining table with a soft thud. He hoped that, after Adrian was finished with whatever he’d been busy doing, he’d visit soon.
Grace never knew what to do with himself on the days he didn’t have any out-standing responsibilities. His garden can function fine without human intervention, he doesn’t have anything to grade, and he wasn’t allowed in the lab without at least Rocky to supervise after he accidentally started a small fire while messing around with the younger scientists.
He sighs, adjusting his glasses.
Grace has picked up quite a few hobbies over the years—not that there’s much else to do, since he doesn’t even have a real job because Eridians don’t live under a capitalist type society—but nothing in particular interested him at the moment.
He sinks deeper into his couch, rubbing at his face with the back of his scarred hand. Maybe he’ll just take a nap and then watch a movie when he wakes up? That’s what he usually does on his rest day… but… Rocky has been complaining about how little he leaves his home when not busy teaching the pebbles. Something about how he doesn’t exercise enough? (He didn’t almost die saving the whole universe to get lectured on his athletic habits!)
Grumbling, Grace springs up from the coach to head towards the bedroom. Today’s as good a day for a swim as any, he supposes. Plus, the water should be good for his aching joints.
He’s shuffling through the clothes in his bed-side cabinet when he hears the tell-tale sound of knocking at his front door.
The banging was loud—meaning it had to be Rocky, as he was the only one who visited him and knocked like that—but it was also hesitant, like the Eridian on the other side was... distracted? (Rocky normally doesn’t visit him on his rest days. Grace wondered what was so important Rocky couldn’t wait.)
So much for swimming, Grace thought, shuffling towards the living room to answer.
Curiously, after the first round of knocking there was not another. Rocky has been in the habit of continuously hitting at the xeononite until Grace finally appeared, only appeased when the other stepped fully outside and on to the silt of the mountain his home rested on. What did it mean, now, that he was quiet?
Grace slipped on a pair of old, worn slippers as he reached the front door, holding his breath in anticipation.
“Hello Grace!” Rocky said, shuffling inside and closing the door loudly behind him.
Grace stumbled, moving to the side to give Rocky space to step through and into the entryway, before he quickly turned to follow behind the excited Eridian as he clambered into his kitchen.
Rocky seemed to be ignoring Grace for the most part, frantically rummaging through his cabinets in search of… well, Grace didn’t know. Though, it appears Rocky couldn’t find what he was looking for, as he chittered angrily under his breath, moving away from the kitchen to invade Grace’s bedroom.
“Rocky!” Grace shouted, moving to stand in front of his friend, hands balancing impatiently on his hips.
Rocky faltered in his steps, skidding to a stop and tilting his carapace up towards Grace in acknowledgement.
“You know I love it when you visit—” Grace cuts himself off with a harsh breath of air, squeezing the bridge of his nose and knocking his glasses askew.
“—but you can’t just barge in here and throw around my stuff without at least telling me what you’re looking for.” He finishes, waving a hand at the mess in the kitchen (which isn’t really that bad, but Grace still finds it a little frustrating he’s going to have to clean it up later.).
Rocky let out a low warble, an embarrassed tune that Grace had only heard a handful of times previously.
“Apology, apology, apology.” He said, tapping a claw in emphasis.
“Just… Excited excited excited! Need human thinking machine! On the verge of ‘break-through’!” Rocky continued, dancing in place and turning in circles.
Grace blinked, stance loosening as he watched his friend’s joyous movements. Then, he finally internalized Rocky’s words. A break-through? A breakthrough on what?
Rocky, oblivious to his friend’s internal confusion, chirped a happy tune as moved back towards the living room, having finally “seen” the laptop perched on the dining room table.
”Eridian scientist found human theoretical paper! A way to target and alter genomes to re-shape and replace aspects of DNA! Need Human Thinking Machine to find more information!” He sings, body wiggling happily even as he lifts the laptop from its resting place.
Oh, Rocky was still searching for ways to extend his life-span. Grace didn’t know why he was surprised—Rocky was not one to stop until he got results he could be happy with—but, gene therapy? The Eridians discovered gene therapy? The process was barely in the early stages of development when he left Earth.
Did the Eridians even have the technology?
Grace must have said that last bit out loud, because next thing he knows Rocky is walking forward to place a heavy claw on his shoulder in reassurance.
“Yes! Yes! Eridians have crafted similar technology before! In early agricultural periods and times of early medicine!” He says, tones tinged with uplifting trills and content hums.
Grace is fascinated by this new and, frankly, incredibly intriguing information, but he’s mostly concerned.
“Why do you need my laptop, then? Don’t you have copies of its data?” He said, tapping the claw that rests heavily on his shoulder with an inquisitive finger.
Tucking the laptop under one of his free arms, Rocky tilts his carapace towards Grace with a nod—then, he quickly shakes it (which only reminds Grace of the time on the Hail Mary where Rocky finally woke up from his oxygen related injuries, where after Grace had done the same thing in response to Rocky’s burning question).
”Have copies, but only partial. Never needed such specific information!” Rocky moves away from Grace, humming with joy.
”Need more information on typical human genome. Already understand Grace’s, but must compare to ensure safety.”
Grace nods—but, really, on the inside he was freaking out. They’re doing this, they’re really doing this. They’re genuinely breaking the boundaries of science for Grace.
He’s choked up, suddenly—but he stuffs down those feelings to better center himself in the present.
“Alright. Just… bring back the laptop in one piece, okay pal?”
Rocky chitters a happy tune, waving goodbye to Grace as he slinks out the door with the Human Thinking Machine in tow.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
It had barely been a week before Rocky returned bearing news on the project.
He learned earlier—once Adrian had come to visit for a brief time after one of his class sessions—that the mated pair had both been working tirelessly, studying the endless number of ways to safely alter Grace’s genome using the cells from the me-burgers. Adrian, being placed as the temporary head of the local biology thrum leading the project, was given much less opportunity to visit Grace underneath the weight of his new workload—but he promised he’d be there to explain the process in detail once they were confident it would work.
“Adrian will visit soon. Very soon. Final aspects of project ‘Saving Grace’ coming to fruition—need only time, now.” He had said, waving a claw dismissively as he left the bio-dome.
He doesn’t know if he should find the title they gave the project funny or not.
He sighs, staring forlorn at the shifting currents of his artificial ocean. Time is strange, now, but, going off the calendar built into the Hail Mary’s internal system… His birthday was coming up, soon. He’ll be sixty eight—over thirty years since he’d last seen Earth in person.
”No! You’re murdering me—I can’t do it! I can’t!—“
Grace squeezes his eyes closed, teeth grinding together as he forcefully pushes those thoughts away. He’s mostly made peace with what happened, with what Eva forced on him (the rough texture of the dirt under his fingernails, the grass in his mouth, the weight on his back), but the memories still hurt.
“Friend Grace okay, question?”
Grace jumps, placing a heavy hand on his chest as he turns his head towards the source of his surprise.
He smiles, then, and his bad mood is completely forgotten as he happily shifts to give his best friend a hug in greeting. The conversation that he had with the Eridian just last week was much too brief to fulfill his desires for physical contact—and Adrian, despite becoming much more used to Grace’s human intricacies, still wasn’t one to regularly participate in physical forms of affection.
Rocky trills as he returns the embrace, before quickly shuffling out with a hum of overwhelming joy.
”Rocky have news! Excite excite excite!” He says, arms wiggling happily as dances in place.
Grace laughs, moving his legs away from the rushing waves and turning to sit criss-cross-apple sauce in front of his already rambling best friend.
”Rocky was not sure if it would work—only a passing theory! But, when Rocky and Adrian tested, the cells did exactly what Rocky and Adrian wanted!”
Grace blinks, tilting his head confusedly as he tries to follow Rocky’s snipped and incomplete explanations. He’s… a little lost, but he can only assume this is something pertaining to the “Saving Grace” project.
”Need more samples to be sure—don’t want anything bad to happen to Friend Grace, but—!”
Grace raises a hand, cutting off Rocky’s words with a chuckle.
”Woah, woah! Slow down, bud! What did you not think would work?” He says, placing a gentle hand on the top of Rocky’s carapace to pat his shaking friend in comfort (He learned quite early on into their friendship that Rocky kind of… quakes when he’s overwhelmed by his emotions, be it good or bad—this, however, did not appear to be a universal trait between Eridians. Grace can’t help but find this uniquely Rocky trait endearing).
Rocky utters a few short noncommittal hums of impatience, before butting his head appreciatively into Grace’s open fingers.
“Apology apology apology. Forgot that Grace’s human brain is slow.”
Grace gasps, mock offended, as he pushes Rocky away (more like Rocky allowed himself to be moved. Even at peak form Grace couldn’t even pick up the guy) with a half-hearted shove.
Rocky only giggles, moving to rest his two of his arms on top of Grace’s lap with what, on a person, could only be considered a smug smirk.
He playfully struggles for a moment, before sighing—knowing without a doubt that he was stuck here as Rocky’s pillow for the foreseeable future. Grace settles deeper into the artificial sand, hand moving absentmindedly to trail the top of Rocky’s carapace in smooth back and forth motions.
It’s quiet between the two, sans the gentle crashing of the water and the ambient hum of distant machinery. It’s peaceful, here—cuddled up together and distant from the obligations of the world. Grace selfishly wishes it could be like this all the time.
”Rocky and Adrian found a way for Grace to survive on Erid without bio-dome or EVA suit.” Rocky finally says, lifting a claw to rub at the scruff lining Grace’s chin.
He doesn’t know why Rocky likes doing that so much, but Grace isn’t really complaining. He’s kind of been pavloved into enjoying the sensation.
Wait a minute, Grace's brain stutters for a moment, trying to process the words.
“You did what?” He almost shouts, jumping in place. Not that he got very far, considering the heavy weight on his lap—he only managed to wrangle a few discontent grumbles from the Eridian currently using him like a bed.
Rocky, however, is quick to pick up on his enthusiasm. ”Yes yes! In conjunction with a longer life-span, Rocky and Adrian managed to synthesize a possible way for Grace’s body to live comfortably in Eridian temperatures and atmospheric pressure!”
He sucked in a breath, eyes filling up with tears.
He… There’s… There’s no possible way. There is no possible way that this wish he’d held so secretly in his heart is being given to him so readily—so easily. Like it was no trouble to divert so much attention to something so arbitrary. Grace could live in the dome fine—was happy to, even! Rocky and Adrian didn’t have to… They didn’t have to give him this extraordinary gift on top of one already so inconceivable.
“Why?” Is the only word he can manage, sniffling and rubbing at his running eyes with his free arm.
Rocky doesn’t seem to understand, tilting his carapace in confusion (a habit he picked up from Grace. Adrian thinks it’s cute).
”What does Grace mean ‘why’, question?” He asked, stomping a claw into the sand in emphasis.
Grace hiccups, shaking his head.
”I… I can’t…figuring out something like that probably wasn’t easy. Why go through the effort?” He whispers, snot running ugly down his chin. The ending “for someone like me” is left unsaid, but Grace knows Rocky heard it anyway.
He knows his friend was not a stranger to his bouts of self-deprivation—which only got worse once Grace told Rocky about how he ended up on the Hail Mary in the first place—but he’d always held this side of himself at a distance. He’d never let Rocky realize just how bad Grace’s inability to accept his own significance was. Rocky—always quick on the uptake—chuffs a sour note, leaning up to grab Grace’s soft face between two of his claws.
”Grace—Friend Grace. We love you. You are important to us. We knew this would make you happy, so it is worth it.”
Grace lets out a loud sob, rushing forward to pull Rocky into another tender hug. He’d never been more grateful that Rocky was his bestest friend in the whole galaxy.
This hug is remarkably short compared to their embrace from earlier—but it still fills him with warmth.
”Alright—alright.” Grace finally says, pulling away and rubbing at his reddened eyes. Rocky wouldn’t be able to see the color, but he’d definitely comment on the sound of blood rushing to his capillaries if he let him.
”I… I want this. I want to go through with the procedure.” Especially if it means I can finally hug you and Adrian without the xenonite barrier. Especially if it means I can see your home in its entirety. Especially if it means I can be closer to you. Grace thought, but he dared not say it out loud. He didn’t want to jinx it.
Rocky let out a series of content whirrs, getting up from Grace’s lap to give a series of happy jazz hands.
“Yes yes! I will let Adrian know! Adrian will prepare everything!—will also need to meet with rest of science thrum to explain everything in detail!”
Grace chuckles, standing and brushing away the sand that clung to the soft denim of his pants. If there was one thing Erid had over Earth, it’s that the wet sand didn’t cling annoyingly to his clothes.
Rocky seemed to be talking to himself, now, walking up towards Grace’s house and gesturing animatedly with his claws as he mumbled underneath the sound of the artificial waves.
“Will need… Adrian will want to… If only we had….”
Grace only caught every other word, but he wasn’t too concerned. He trusted Rocky with his life.
The walk is short, as it always is. The distance between the beach and hill is becoming hell on his knees despite that, but Grace would gladly endure the pain to have a little more time with his friend. (He’d subtly asked Adrian if he’d think a cane would help ease the aching, but Adrian had only chuffed with worry, already working to draft up designs for mobility aids that would work on Eridian sand and would still allow him access to his home. Grace wonders if he’d still need it once he went through with the change.)
When the two are finally at the bottom of the waiting staircase, Rocky knocks his carapace against Grace’s side to get his attention.
”There is something you must know before you accept.”
He stops, humming inquisitively as he turns to face his friend. Rocky sounds serious—like what he’s going to say will for sure change Grace’s decision.
“Will take… long time for full transformation, and it will be extremely intense on your body.” Rocky shuffles nervously, tilting his carapace side to side like he’s trying to avoid the conversation all together. Like he wished he didn’t have to say it at all, but knew he needed to.
”Grace will likely have to be placed into a medical coma.”
Grace’s breath stuttered in his lungs. Yeah, he understands Rocky’s hesitation now—he’d gone into a lot of detail talking about the trauma his first coma caused while they were on the Hail Mary. Grace even still gets nightmares about waking up, tube down his throat, and confusion fogging his mind—Rocky’s usually the one to bring him back to himself on those nights.
A coma? Why is he always being put into comas? He didn’t know if he could handle that again.
Rocky seems to take his silence as answer enough already, churning a low tune and arms drooping sadly against his carapace.
Grace doesn’t want to upset Rocky. He doesn’t want his fear to be the reason Rocky loses him so quickly—
“How… how long?” Grace forces out, wringing his fingers together in an effort to stave off the burning memories.
Rocky perks up, but only just. He thinks for a moment, claws opening and closing in a bout of anxious energy. The action is so unlike his normal self that Grace is even more concerned about the answer.
”An Earth year, at least. Maybe a little longer.” Rocky nods his carapace, thumping a claw once in emphasis.
A year? A whole year? Grace swallows thickly, scuffing a toe against the sand as he thinks.
He doesn’t want to be in a coma for a year. Hell, he doesn’t want to be in a coma ever again! Four years and the non-consensual bout of amnesia was enough for him, thank you!
But then, Grace hesitated. He turned back towards his friend, Rocky, who had been there when he was delirious from starvation. Rocky, who had given him everything. Rocky, who had shown him more kindness and more compassion and more love than anyone else ever had.
He thinks, then, that maybe he could be brave for Rocky.
“Alright.” Grace finally says, voice only a hair above a whisper.
“What do I have to do?”
And Rocky lights up, doing jazz hands and chirping with joy. Grace chuckles, giving Rocky a thumbs down as he follows his friend through the open door of his home.
”First, need to take a sample of Grace’s skin!”
”What!?”