Chapter Text
In the first place, Kim Soleum never expected to wake up to a normal day.
Ever since he got dropped into this horror story, he had already given up on experiencing a normal day again. But…
He certainly did not expect this.
After Kim Soleum woke up and got ready for work, he opened the door of his room, about to step out to a whole new day. But when he heard the door across from him opening, he stiffened momentarily before quickly putting on his crazy guy act to outfreak a freak.
He prepared to open his mouth and spout whatever nonsense he could think of to terrorize his roommate first thing in the morning, but when he moved his gaze to Baek Saheon's room, he didn't see anyone within his line of sight.
Except, there seemed to be a bundle of mallows hidden under a comforter with the softest brown fur Kim Soleum has ever seen in his life.
The mallows could walk—oh my god, it's padding closer, holy shit—and had one green sparkly star on its porcelain skin, staring up at him with dainty, pouty lips.
Kim Soleum nearly died.
No. He said it often, but this time, he really, almost died.
On closer look, Kim Soleum was almost convinced he had unknowingly entered a darkness. But then again, how could something like this exist inside a darkness?
Perhaps he had unknowingly died and was now in heaven, meeting an angel???
"Uhm."
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit, shit—
SHIT—
The mallow raised his head further in an attempt to assert dominance (fuck—) and glared slightly at Kim Soleum with his singular eye, his pout deepened.
"Where is Saheonie?"
K.O.
Kim Soleum fell to the ground.
Maybe it shouldn't come as a surprise. Kim Soleum was a coward; weak to graphic horror and gore, but an absolute softy when it comes to small animals and children.
What should come as a surprise is the fact that, for some magical reason, his asshole roommate turned into a child.
Said asshole did not only physically become a child, but his mentality seemed to have regressed as well.
Currently, Kim Soleum sat the child Saheon on the couch with him, thankful that he still had at least 20 minutes before he had to absolutely head to work, otherwise he would face a sanction he would rather not know.
When working in Daydream Inc., there are many lines that one should not cross.
Kim Soleum was having a hard time. This was a situation he was wholly unprepared for. Nothing in his phone would help him with how to deal with this situation. None of the previous records in the Darkness Exploration Record he had read before explained a situation like this.
How the hell, why the hell, and what the hell Baek Saheon did to turn into a child is beyond Kim Soleum.
Unfortunately, that was not his only problem.
Child Baek Saheon was looking down at his hands that were on his lap, his lips automatically forming a pout. Kim Soleum wouldn't dare get ahead of himself, but from how he saw it, it seemed like the child was thinking deeply to himself.
Child Baek Saheon tilted his head to the right, then to the left.
Kim Soleum had to force his eyes shut as he hid his face under his interlocked fingers, contemplating his whole life.
Whatever this was, it was definitely a new murder method Baek Saheon planned to use to kill him. Otherwise, how could it explain the tightness Kim Soleum felt in his chest???
This has to be a new torture method. It has to.
Because there was no way Kim Soleum had the urge to bite those cute, chubby cheeks. That would be strange! Considering that the child in front of him was originally a sociopath, who only cared about himself!
"Mistwer… Where is Saheonie? Saheonie is in a strange place."
Child Baek Saheon spoke, still with that damned pout that could ruin an entire city.
Kim Soleum cursed under his breath before straightening his posture and looking coldly at Baek Saheon.
Flinch.
….Okay, maybe that was the wrong approach. Kim Soleum was so used to terrorizing Baek Saheon that he had instinctively made the same expression he normally would show around him.
But when he saw the child flinch, Kim Soleum felt his heart sink.
Now that the child Baek Saheon looked at him with a trembling pupil, Kim Soleum swore his chest was being stabbed.
Kim Soleum quickly put on a harmless, gentle face.
"This is the place we live in."
Baek Saheon obviously did not believe him. The child, unsurprisingly, did not know how to control his expression.
"This is not Saheonie's house."
Now it was confirmed. Child Baek Saheon did not retain his adult memories.
'Perhaps this makes it easier to deal with him.'
A child Baek Saheon, who has no recollection of his original form, may be just another harmless child, after all.
Okay. That would be easy. Sure. Kim Soleum would take this challenge from the world.
Kim Soleum smiled softly, deliberately making his voice gentler to get the child on his side.
"Sah-yah, this is your house with Appa."
Child Baek Saheon flinched, his shoulders trembled, while his pupils shook rapidly.
'…Oops. Did I make a mistake?'
Kim Soleum was instantly concerned that he had messed up, and now the child was more wary of him.
Child Baek Saheon scooted away from him. Kim Soleum would never admit that it made his heart ache.
"A, Appa…?"
Kim Soleum continued with his acting. He smiled with his eyes closed.
"Yes, Sah-yah? You called for Appa?"
"Eep—!"
'Eep?'
What was that strange, adorable sound just now?
Kim Soleum looked at the child and saw that Baek Saheon was pressing his hands to his mouth, shutting his eyes desperately, as if that would erase the shy look on his face.
Crack.
Oh, sorry about that. That was just Kim Soleum's sanity cracking for a bit.
"B, B, But… But… Saheonie doesn't have an Appa…"
Thud!
Whether those words instinctively made Kim Soleum kneel in front of the child or not was something he would not admit out loud. Anyway, Kim Soleum gingerly reached for child Baek Saheon's hands and held them in his.
Baek Saheon opened his eyes, and Kim Soleum made sure to look at the child straight into his eyes so that the child would see clearly his sincerity.
"Sah-yah, Appa is here now. Appa won't leave you anymore."
So what if the one in front of him is his roommate-turned-child? In Kim Soleum's eyes, all he could see was a child that he must protect at all costs.
Fuck ghost stories. Fuck darkness. Kim Soleum is going to be a father.
Child Baek Saheon looked at him with a wide, innocent eye, and Kim Soleum swore right there and then that he would make him the happiest child in the world.
Kim Soleum called his supervisor for sick leave, then brought child Baek Saheon to the nearest department store to buy clothes and everything else he would need.
Clothes, toys, cute eyepatches that would suit him well, utensils for a child, even furniture that matched his height, and even smaller pillows and blankets. Kim Soleum went all out.
When he briefly thought to himself that perhaps he was going too far, but when he saw his bank account, he decided to add small stairs that Baek Saheon could use so he wouldn't have trouble climbing to bed.
Why hesitate when Daydream Inc. paid him well?
Kim Soleum was very happy with all his purchases. He felt as if he had reached Nirvana.
The next agenda was what to feed the small baby.
Once again, Kim Soleum did not hold back from buying everything the child needed and wanted (though Baek Saheon hardly asked for anything and just quietly allowed himself to be carried in Kim Soleum's arms the whole time).
He filled their refrigerator to the brim until there was not a single space left.
Kim Soleum was so busy catering to child Baek Saheon that it was easy for him to lose track of time. By the time he regained awareness, he was already tucking baby Sah-yah into bed, right next to him.
"…."
Baby Sah was not a fussy child. He was quiet, well-behaved, and too obedient.
"…."
Kim Soleum gently patted baby Sah's chest to lull him to sleep, humming softly to fill the silence in the room.
He watched as the child slowly drifted into dreamland.
Listening to baby Sah's soft snoring, Kim Soleum eventually fell asleep.
Kim Soleum could not possibly leave baby Sah alone in the dorm.
Even though the rational part of his mind said, 'What could happen while he's alone in the dorm?'
His softened tofu of a heart screamed, 'ANYTHING could happen in the dorm, and NO ONE will be there to protect him!!!'
So Kim Soleum did what should be unthinkable.
He brought baby Sah to work.
Getting stares left and right was to be expected. Kim Soleum did not let it bother him that much, though he was worried that the child would be anxious at having so many eyes on him, so Kim Soleum crouched down to scoop baby Sah into his arm.
"Sah-yah, you can lean on Appa's shoulder if it gets overwhelming, okay?"
Baby Sah didn't seem to understand him, but nodded his small head nevertheless. His soft brown hair bopped along with his movement.
Kim Soleum let out a sigh full of adoration.
Getting to the elevator and reaching the right floor without trouble was already a lot to ask. The stares were more blatant in those small four corners. Still, Kim Soleum kept a straight face.
Though his expression faltered momentarily when baby Sah buried his face on the junction between Kim Soleum's neck and shoulders, as if he was trying to hide.
Kim Soleum was mentally clutching his chest while thanking heaven above for blessing him with the cutest baby in the world.
He would definitely raise him well!
Ding!
There was a brief moment of contemplation about whether he should pay a visit to the office of F-squad to explain what happened to Baek Saheon and ask for a few days of leave on his behalf, but Kim Soleum decided to go to the D-squad office first, and maybe let baby Sah stay there to wait for him.
He didn't really like the idea of bringing baby Sah with him on his visit to the F-squad office later. Something about showing his cute baby to people he didn't know left a bitter taste in his mouth.
'I have no idea how Baek Saheon's relationship is with his squad. But considering his personality, his social life there must be shit.'
If that was the case, then there was no way of telling whether his squadmates or supervisor would treat Baek Saheon kindly while he was trapped in a child's body.
Kim Soleum didn't really care about Baek Saheon's relationship with others, but he would let all hell loose if someone touched his baby Sah.
Try harming even a strand of his hair and see what happens.
Kim Soleum finally arrived at the D-squad office. Upon entering, his squadmates turned to greet him like they usually did, only for them to stop in their track.
A suffocating silence passed them by.
That silence was broken by Eun Haje.
"Roe…" She slowly pointed at the cute marshmallow Kim Soleum was still carrying in his arms. "Who is that?"
There was no hint of hesitation in Kim Soleum's response.
"It's my child."
This time, it was Park Minseong who looked at him strangely.
"But he looks just like—"
Ah, that's right. Of course. He would definitely look like Baek Saheon, because this was Baek Saheon himself.
Kim Soleum corrected himself.
"It's our child."
"…."
"…."
"……………………………."
Kim Soleum shut his eyes.
'Shit….'
He belatedly realized what kind of nonsense he said, but it was already too late. His co-workers were already exchanging looks and nodding among themselves.
What exactly were those two telepathically saying to each other? Kim Soleum wasn't so sure if he wanted to know or not.
He quickly thought of how to escape from this awkward moment.
"Uhm… Seniors, is it okay to bring my child here? There's a bit of a situation at the dorms, and I can't leave him there."
Of course, he kept it vague. There was no way he was going to admit out loud that his cute child is the devil incarnate, just with a temporary memory loss, who was for now, no different from a harmless, innocent child.
Eun Haje and Park Minseong stared at him for a moment. As in, really stared at him for a moment.
Kim Soleum broke out into sweats.
'…Did they notice something?'
The cute marshmallow wiggled around in his arm, and Kim Soleum's attention was quickly shifted to him.
"What's wrong, Sah-yah?"
Baby Sah blinked his big eye at him, hesitantly glancing at Eun Haje and Park Minseong's direction, before quickly hugging Kim Soleum's neck again.
His quiet voice slowly came out.
"Appa…."
PWAK!
An arrow struck Kim Soleum's chest, straight to his heart.
He nearly bit his tongue from suppressing a scream.
"Keuk… Y, Yes, Sah-yah? Appa is here."
But instead of saying anything else, baby Sah just hugged his neck more. Kim Soleum tried not to cry right there and then.
"…Roe Deer-ssi."
"Ah- Yes, ma'am?"
Eun Haje blinked her eyes slowly as if she were a lizard blinking and watching him carefully.
Kim Soleum tried not to flinch.
"It's your child?"
Before the question could even register in his mind, Kim Soleum's mouth already moved on its own.
"Yes, ma'am."
Eun Haje's expression didn't change.
"And the mother is?"
Kim Soleum nearly choked, but he had to act as naturally as possible, even though deep inside, he was already cursing himself for slipping up like this.
"It's…. You already know him."
Nonsense. All of this. Screw you, adult Baek Saheon. Screw you, too, damned ghost story.
Kim Soleum began cursing everyone he could possibly curse while protectively hugging baby Sah.
"You said there's a bit of a situation at the dorms."
This time, it was Park Minseong who looked at him with unblinking eyes.
It was intimidating to see Park Minseong without his friendly smile, and Kim Soleum tried not to let it affect him that much. Really. Even though his heart was already trembling.
"Did… Something happened to him?"
Of course, what his words really meant was whether or not Baek Saheon ran away and left all responsibilities to Kim Soleum.
As much as Kim Soleum did not want to cover for his roommate, he truly could not let his coworkers misunderstand that Baek Saheon ran away from his responsibilities, because Kim Soleum was literally carrying him in his arms.
Even though he was trying hard not to associate his cute little mallow with that damned snake.
"He had a bit of an emergency and had to stay somewhere. That's why for the meantime, it's just Sah and me."
Good thing Kim Soleum had been calling the child Baek Saheon as 'Sah-yah', or it might cause problems if he accidentally called him Saheon.
His seniors still seemed to have a lot of doubts and questions, but they accepted his explanation for now. When they stepped aside and let him walk to his desk, Kim Soleum could finally let out a relieved sigh.
Baby Sah was now sitting on his left thigh. Kim Soleum checked his expression to see if he was uncomfortable anywhere, but as always, baby Sah was quiet and was just blinking his eye slowly.
The child didn't talk a lot. He was well-behaved and tactful. Something that a normal child his age shouldn't be.
Kim Soleum tried not to think too much about it. He didn't want to get too curious about Baek Saheon's childhood life, lest he find out things he shouldn't know.
But… He just couldn't help but worry about his baby Sah.
What if he really is uncomfortable somewhere, but he's just choosing not to say anything?
Kim Soleum gently tapped baby Sah's chubby cheek, instantly earning him the child's attention.
"Sah-yah, if you're sick or uncomfortable anywhere, you can always tell Appa, okay?"
Baby Sah just nodded. Still, something about his lack of words (or protests, for that matter) left Kim Soleum dissatisfied.
"Sah-yah, if there's anything you need, Appa can get it for you, hm? So don't worry and don't hesitate to tell me anything. Appa will do anything."
A slightly different reaction. In the form of his one eye blinking, tilting his head slightly, and his hands clenching and unclenching.
The adorable thing.
Baby Sah hummed, as if he was preparing his vocal cords, before nodding and voicing out a response.
"Mmkay, Appa."
Mmkay, Appa.
KEUK!
Kim Soleum swore he could taste blood in his mouth from getting K.O.d for a second time.
After Kim Soleum went to the F-squad office and got Baek Saheon a week's leave, he strode back to the D-squad office, finding it quite unbearable to be separated from his cute mallow.
Even though it had only been 10 minutes since he left.
"Sah-yah, Appa is back."
Kim Soleum tried not to slam the door open from his excitement, though he was sure he still somehow opened it too roughly, because the first thing he saw upon his return was baby Sah trudging towards the door.
"!!!"
Could this be…
Was this that moment when one comes home, and their child runs to welcome them back?! Kim Soleum teared up. He immediately crouched and opened his arms.
"Sah-yah!"
He tried not to let his tears fall, but he was so touched by the baby's cuteness that his voice quavered.
But then baby Sah, who came to him, pressed his lips together, tightly held the hem of his shirt, and looked at Kim Soleum with an eye that seemed to shimmer with… Tears?
Kim Soleum faltered.
What on earth happened in that brief moment he was away?
Kim Soleum looked around the office but didn't see Park Minseong or Eun Haje anywhere. Except…
"Roe Deer."
Kim Soleum's head snapped in the direction of where that familiar voice came from.
When he saw the familiar lizard head, he understood why baby Sah was a nervous wreck.
Right. Any child would be scared of that, right?
Kim Soleum felt a pulsing headache that made him instinctively massage his head. For now, he decided to gently pull baby Sah towards him and carry him in his arms.
Baby Sah quickly hugged his neck, just like when he met Eun Haje and Park Minseong earlier.
"Section chief, good morning."
Lee Jaehoon nodded curtly.
Though his vertical eyes focused on the child in Kim Soleum's arms. All the protective alarms in his head started blaring.
"…"
"…"
Because of his personality, Lee Jaehoon was not the type to ask any questions first, but he also wasn't trying to hide it from how blatantly he was staring intensely at baby Sah.
Kim Soleum had no choice but to ask.
"Did something happen while I was away, section chief?"
Obviously, he wasn't actually asking if something happened. He meant that if Chief Lizard terrorized a poor child while his guardian was away.
Surely, he wasn't so much of a bastard that he would do something like that, right? But then again, Chief Lizard was not one who understood most social cues.
Even if he did, he probably didn't do it on purpose. Still, Kim Soleum was quite protective of the child. He didn't like seeing his poor mallow almost shedding tears.
He didn't want his mallow to become a soggy mess.
Lee Jaehoon did not retract his intense gaze despite Kim Soleum's questions.
"Why is Kim Soleum-ssi's roommate here?"
Kim Soleum tried not to flinch.
'…Did he notice?'
Of course, Kim Soleum played his ultimate trump card: feigning ignorance.
"What do you mean, section chief? This isn't my roommate. It's my child."
Lee Jaehoon's vertical eyes moved towards him.
It felt as if he was being closely studied.
"Kim Soleum-ssi's child?"
"That's right."
"With that roommate?"
Kim Soleum, "…"
He cursed under his breath.
"…Yes."
Lee Jaehoon, "…."
Kim Soleum, "…."
The silence that passed by them was more suffocating than when he was interrogated by Eun Haje and Park Minseong earlier. Kim Soleum nearly cried.
Thankfully, Lee Jaehoon stopped staring intensely at either of them.
"I see."
Kim Soleum changed the topic while gently patting baby Sah's back.
"Where did assistant manager Eun Haje and senior Park Minseong go?"
"They entered the darkness first. They asked me to watch over the child until your return before following them."
Darkness? Great. Just his luck.
Kim Soleum's shoulders sank.
"…Do I have to go with you, section chief?"
Kim Soleum did not want to go. If he enters a darkness, it means he has to leave baby Sah alone.
Leaving a vulnerable child in this godforsaken workplace? Absolutely not.
Thankfully, Chief Lizard's response restored Kim Soleum's hope for humanity. Just a little bit.
"No. Kim Soleum-ssi does not need to go. You can stay here until work hours are over."
Although Kim Soleum was glad he didn't need to follow them there, he also did not want to do nothing while his squadmates were risking their lives.
"Section chief, is there any task I have to do? As long as I'll stay in the office, I can do anything."
As long as it was a place where he could keep an eye on baby Sah, a place that won't endanger the child, then Kim Soleum could do anything.
"Kim Soleum-ssi can sort out the papers on that table."
Lee Jaehoon pointed at the table that was usually used as a place where they could drop the papers they wanted to procrastinate on, hoping that someone else would be willing to do it.
Although there were quite a lot of papers, Kim Soleum simply nodded his head. Doing paperwork was better than entering a darkness, anyway.
"Understood. Well then, please return safely with everyone, section chief."
Lee Jaehoon hummed, though his gaze lingered on baby Sah before he turned around.
Click.
Kim Soleum barely let out a sigh when Chief Lizard finally left the office. He quickly checked on baby Sah.
"Sah-yah, were you scared?"
Baby Sah slowly shook his head, though his expression was still gloomy.
Such a sight tugged on Kim Soleum's heartstrings, almost tying it tightly with a knot.
"What's wrong? Did the section chief say anything? Is that why you're making that face?"
For the first time today, he saw baby Sah pursing his lips into a massive pout, his eye glimmering like a pitiful puppy.
'Argh!'
Kim Soleum mentally clutched his chest.
"Mmh… Appa… Am I not Appa's baby?"
Kim Soleum felt something in him crack.
"W, What do you mean? Did something happen while I was away??"
'Damn it. Did Chief Lizard call him Baek Saheon and dispel the illusion that he's my child???'
Of course, baby Sah didn't know the truth. The only thing he heard constantly was Kim Soleum claiming him as his child; hence, baby Sah would think that Kim Soleum is undoubtedly his Appa.
But Chief Lizard seemed to have seen through them before he confronted Kim Soleum. And because Chief Lizard had been here before Kim Soleum arrived, he must have said a thing or two to baby Sah.
Kim Soleum cursed under his breath.
'I should have returned sooner…!'
The sad look on baby Sah's face could have been avoided had Kim Soleum returned quickly before Chief Lizard could say anything.
Alas, this was what had happened. A truly unfortunate thing for Kim Soleum and his weak heart.
He quickly hugged the sad marshmallow.
"That's not true, Sah-yah. Sah-yah is definitely my child. Even if other people say otherwise, you don't have to believe them, okay?"
Kim Soleum felt an ache in his heart while comforting the sad child. He vowed to himself that he would never let his baby Sah ever become sad like this again.
Baby Sah just quietly hugged him back. When Kim Soleum moved slightly so he could look at him, baby Sah wasn't making such a pitiful face anymore, though he was still pouting slightly.
Kim Soleum could not resist and planted a soft kiss on baby Sah's soft bangs.
"Sah-yah, let's go eat cake after Appa finishes work, okay? Don't be sad anymore, Sah-yah. Appa will make it up to you."
Baby Sah blinked at the mention of cake.
Kim Soleum's lips twitched into a smile.
"You want to eat a cake, don't you?"
Baby Sah squirmed and tried not to say anything, but the soft twitching of his little nose already gave it away.
Kim Soleum laughed lightly.
Of course, Kim Soleum could not avoid entering any darkness for long.
Three days later, Kim Soleum had to enter a D-grade darkness alone. They said it wasn't dangerous, and the records of casualties were nearly zero.
But that was the least of his concerns.
"Sah-yah, Appa will be away for a bit, okay? Appa will come back quickly. Promise that you'll wait for Appa right here?"
Kim Soleum made baby Sah sit on his swivel chair and was crouching in front of him, holding his small hands in his.
"Mmh."
Baby Sah nodded and did not protest as usual.
But this made Kim Soleum worry even more.
"Sah-yah, if you want to go to the restroom, you can ask that Noona or Oppa over there to assist you."
He pointed at Eun Haje and Park Minseong, who were standing behind him like bodyguards. Actually, they looked more like they came here just to watch Kim Soleum antsily bid a temporary goodbye to his child, as if this were a free telenovela episode.
"Also, if Sah-yah needs anything, you can tell them, too, okay? They will take care of you while I'm gone, but I promise that I'll come back quickly. I won't take too long, so don't be too sad, okay, Sah-yah? Appa will definitely return right away, so just—"
"Roe, it's time to go."
"Please give me just five more minutes."
Kim Soleum tried not to cry. He really did.
But looking at his squishy mallow, looking at him with his innocent eye, Kim Soleum teared up.
Kim Soleum hugged baby Sah tightly.
"Aegiyah, Appa will definitely return. Just wait a little bit, and I'll be here again. Don't cry, Sah-yah. Don't cry, hm?"
"…Roe Deer, it seems more like you're the one who's about to cry."
He completely ignored whoever said that.
Kim Soleum did not want to break off the hug, but he needed to. He knew he had to go now if he wanted to finish his exploration as soon as possible.
Kim Soleum gently caressed baby Sah's chubby, soft cheek before finally standing.
"We'll go eat another cake when Appa returns, so until then, just wait for me, Sah-yah."
Baby Sah clenched and unclenched his small hand before raising it and.
Wave. Wave.
"!!!!"
Kim Soleum held his hands together and teared up when he saw baby Sah shyly waving at him.
"Aegiyah, Appa will be back soon!"
Kim Soleum felt as if his cowardness disappeared for a bit and that he could conquer this darkness with no problem.
Thankfully, he did manage to finish that darkness under 3 hours instead of the expected 24-hour run.
Kim Soleum checked his appearance, dusting himself all over, before quickly running back to the D-squad office. Of course, running wasn't allowed, so he did something remotely similar.
"Sah-yah, Appa is here!"
Kim Soleum tried not to slam the door open. He did.
His eyes quickly moved to the direction of his desk, where he expected to see the child waiting for him. True to his expectations, baby Sah was still obediently sitting on the swivel chair, though he had a pillow behind him so it would be comfortable for him to sit.
On the desk, there were packs of untouched snacks, though an empty chocolate bar wrapper was neatly placed on the side, indicating that the child had eaten a few of those snacks.
Baby Sah looked at him with a hint of glimmer in his single eye. He carefully jumped off the chair and trudged towards Kim Soleum.
"Appa."
This is it, isn't it? That long-awaited moment of having his child welcoming him back. This time, baby Sah was not running towards him because he was scared of someone, but really, he was welcoming Kim Soleum back, right?
Kim Soleum was practically crying happy tears in his heart.
"Sah-yah!"
Plop!
Kim Soleum hugged the small mallow tightly, pressing his cheek on top of the mallow's head.
"Aegiyah, have you been well while Appa was away?"
"Mm-mh! Noona and Hyung gave Saheon-ie snacks. Saheon-ie kept some snacks to give to Appa."
It felt as if an arrow went straight to Kim Soleum's heart.
"You reserved snacks for Appa?"
Kim Soleum broke off the hug, though he was still holding baby Sah's shoulders.
Baby Sah nodded eagerly.
Kim Soleum was so touched, he peppered baby Sah's face with kisses.
"Aegiyah is so generous and thoughtful. My baby is the best!"
'Please don't ever become scum in the future.'
Even though that was an impossible wish.
Still, Kim Soleum allowed himself to wish that his innocent child would remain by his side a little longer, even if it meant that Baek Saheon would not return for a while.
Kim Soleum knew it was selfish. But he wasn't prepared to part ways with his baby Sah yet.
No. There might never come a time when he would be prepared to.
Still.
Just a little longer. Just a little while longer.
"Appa will finish his report first, then we can go eat cake after, hm?"
Kim Soleum did not know it was possible, but for the first time in the past five days he spent with the child, baby Sah smiled brightly until his eye practically disappeared.
It was his first time seeing him smile that it felt as if the world around them had paused for a moment. Only the child's radiant smile was the sole focus of his entire universe.
"Mmkay!"
Ah. Kim Soleum would do anything to keep his child, after all.
The next day, Kim Soleum grew more comfortable in bringing baby Sah and letting him meet other people in the company.
"Sah-yah, this is Appa's friend, Miss Goral. If you are ever in trouble, Miss Goral can help you until Appa arrives, okay?"
As always, baby Sah nodded obediently. Kim Soleum watched as the child looked curiously at Go Yeongeun before he stepped away from Kim Soleum's side.
Kim Soleum didn't understand what was going on in baby Sah's mind, but when he saw baby Sah bop his head, only then did Kim Soleum understand that he was trying to greet Go Yeongeun.
But he bowed too deeply and lost balance.
Kim Soleum jumped forward immediately to catch baby Sah's head before it could hit the floor.
"Aegiyah!"
Kim Soleum's heart beat so rapidly that he thought he was going to have a heart attack from the sight. Thankfully, he managed to hold baby Sah in time before he could hurt himself.
He helped baby Sah to stand back properly. Still, just to be sure, Kim Soleum turned baby Sah in every direction to ensure that he really wasn't hurt anywhere.
Once he was sure that not a single scratch was on him, only then did Kim Soleum let out a relieved sigh.
He turned baby Sah to face him.
"Sah-yah, you shouldn't bow too much like that."
But instead of accepting his words and obediently nodding his head, baby Sah pouted.
"Noona and Hyung said to greet new people politely. Saheon-ie only did what Noona and Hyung taught."
Oh? Was there something like that that happened yesterday while he was still inside the darkness?
'So while I was away, they tried to teach him manners.'
Kim Soleum was grateful for his squadmates; at the same time, he felt regretful.
'I should have been the one to teach him those things, but it slipped out of my mind. I feel like I have failed as a father.'
Kim Soleum was sad that he was not the one who taught baby Sah how to greet people when meeting them. Still, he decided to focus on the situation at hand.
He gently stroked baby Sah's head.
"Sah-yah understood Noona and Hyung's teaching well? Good, good. But next time, bow slowly and only until you can bend back slightly. Don't bow too suddenly so you don't accidentally fall forward, okay, Sah-yah?"
Baby Sah did not protest further, but he was still pouting slightly. Seeing that made Kim Soleum smile.
"Okay. One more time, this time, Appa will hold you."
'After seeing it once, I can't let him nearly stumble like that again.'
Baby Sah didn't say anything when Kim Soleum picked him up and held him in his arms. He must have gotten so used to being carried like this, because Kim Soleum swore he could see a satisfied glint in his eye.
Kim Soleum laughed lightly.
"Sah-yah, say hello to Miss Goral."
Go Yeongeun, who had been quietly watching their interaction until now, blinked rapidly before focusing her gaze on baby Sah.
Did she recognize him as Baek Saheon?
Well, even if she did, she hadn't said it out loud or pointed it out, so Kim Soleum was grateful for that.
Baby Sah had his left arm holding onto Kim Soleum's shoulder, and as instructed, he slowly lowered his head toward Go Yeongeun.
"H, Hello, Noona. Saheon-ie will be in your care."
Go Yeongeun held her hands to her mouth and looked at baby Sah with an almost tearful gaze.
"So cute…!"
It was probably baby Sah's first time receiving a compliment because he blushed slightly then quickly hugged Kim Soleum's neck, as if trying to hide himself.
Kim Soleum noticed that it was something the child did whenever he was too shy or overwhelmed from the attention he was receiving. Whether he meant it or not, this action made Kim Soleum think that baby Sah recognized him as his safe person.
Something about that was messing with his insides.
"Is it okay if I touch his hair? I've never seen such soft curls before."
Kim Soleum could not answer that on his own, so he gently tapped baby Sah's back to get his attention.
"Sah-yah, Goral Noona asked if she could touch your hair. Is that okay?"
For a moment, there was no reaction.
Until slowly…
Nod. Nod.
While still trying to hide his face, baby Sah steadily moved back so he was lowering his head toward Go Yeongeun's direction, though his face was facing down in an attempt not to show his expression.
Go Yeongeun hesitated for a moment before she gently raised her hand to baby Sah's hair and…
Ruffle. Ruffle.
She was biting her lip so hard and shutting her eyes. It was clear that she was holding in a squeal.
Though Kim Soleum swore she was muttering something like, 'Oh, it's as soft as it looks', 'Ah, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity', and 'Mother, father, I lived well.'
As happy as it made Go Yeongeun, Kim Soleum could see that the tips of baby Sah's ears were burning red, so he was certain that the baby mallow was enjoying himself as well.
Kim Soleum's heart was filled with content.
After that, for the rest of the day, Kim Soleum only carried baby Sah around without letting his feet touch the ground.
Of course, he had been questioned by his squadmates when they saw this.
"Kim Soleum-ssi, the child is capable of walking on his own," Eun Haje commented.
"It's better to let him walk so he can exercise his feet and get used to walking around, Roe," Park Minseong sheepishly added.
Lee Jaehoon, as he had been doing in the past days, only stared at baby Sah.
Of course, this didn't really shake Kim Soleum's resolve to carry the child around.
"He almost tripped earlier."
He calmly spoke, looking at his squadmates with unblinking eyes.
"? It's normal for children to trip and fall."
"He almost hit his head."
"He'll probably be fine."
Kim Soleum firmly shook his head, hugging baby Sah closer to his chest, as if protecting him from otherworldly forces.
"What if he tripped, hit his head, and his head split open?"
Eun Haje and Park Minseong stared at him blankly.
Kim Soleum sighed sadly at their gaze.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. They don't understand what it's like to be a parent at all.
"Anyway, for the time being, he's not allowed to walk until I'm sure that he won't trip or get hurt."
Park Minseong, who could not hold back, slowly asked.
"And how long is that 'time being'….?"
Kim Soleum tilted his head slightly.
"Until I can't carry him anymore."
"…"
"…"
"…"
Kim Soleum ignored their blank gazes, which didn't improve despite his words.
Another peaceful day at work, and now it was finally the weekend.
For their first weekend together, Kim Soleum spoiled the child rotten. They played around with the toys he had bought baby Sah, cooked hearty meals to the best of his abilities, watched children's shows, and wore matching pajamas to bed.
Because he did not need to worry about waking up early the next day, Kim Soleum read a bedtime story to baby Sah that he could find on his phone.
He hoped that the child was as happy as he was.
The next day, it was still the same. Though this time, the dorm was filled with the child's joyful laughter from the child-friendly comedy show on TV while Kim Soleum prepared their meal.
Kim Soleum allowed himself to smile freely while listening to baby Sah's giggles. He hoped that every day would be like this.
But of course, nothing truly lasts forever.
The next day, Kim Soleum woke up to an empty space next to him, where his baby mallow should be. For some reason, despite the child not being in his sight, Kim Soleum did not panic.
There had been a few times when baby Sah woke up earlier than him and had trudged to the kitchen to get his green tumbler to drink water, then he would lie on the couch instead of returning to the room.
Kim Soleum groggily got up while letting out a yawn.
'It's another day with my adorable marshmallow. What should I make for breakfast so he'll be full of energy?'
Kim Soleum contemplated to himself while walking towards the door.
Click.
When he pulled the door open, at the same time, the door to Baek Saheon's room opened. Of course, there was only one person in the dorm with him, so Kim Soleum did not suspect anything.
"Sah-yah—"
It was only after he happily called out with a bright smile on his face that he belatedly realized that the one who got out of the snake's den was not his sweet, adorable, harmless mallow with his cute green and white bow eyepatch, but a grown snake with a black boring one.
Kim Soleum froze completely.
'…Huh?'
Kim Soleum's pupils shook rapidly as he darted his gaze all over the dorm, as if the dorm would suddenly spew out his missing marshmallow.
As if some hidden answer lay somewhere on these walls.
'…Huh???'
But when nothing happened, reality sank in, whether he wanted to or not.
For the first time in a week, Kim Soleum felt like he was having a crisis. A massive crisis in which his life would truly end now.
"Supervisor, sir? What are you doing…?"
Ah.
Baek Saheon really was back.
Which means…
Kim Soleum felt his knees become weak, and he barely held onto the wall for support. All sorts of emotions crashed down on him, and he felt as if he was hallucinating that the ceiling would fall any moment, pressing him down with all of its weight.
No.
It felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest, thrown to the floor, painting it red, as he was left to bleed out. Not caring whether he would survive the pain or succumb to blood loss.
The world probably expected him to stay strong. Probably. But Kim Soleum was never prepared for this situation. He never was.
Kim Soleum felt strong bile rise to his throat, and he barely held back a scream.
Instead, Kim Soleum gritted his teeth and glared at Baek Saheon with bloodshot eyes.
Baek Saheon flinched, instinctively backing away. Still fearful of him. That action of his became the vivid evidence that this bastard was really back, and no amount of denial could disclaim that.
Kim Soleum did not let any scream, even if he wanted to.
He simply slammed his bedroom door shut, called in sick, and cried in his bed while hugging the small pillow he bought for his mallow, which had already gone cold.
It was only yesterday when he listened to his baby mallow giggling and laughing, but now, the silence was making him deaf, as only the sounds of his pressed down wailing on the pillow surrounded him now.
No warmth from the pillow as proof that he had been lying there next to him. No sound of his laugh or even a whisper of 'Appa'.
It was as if every single trace of baby Sah disappeared, except for the things that Kim Soleum bought.
But those materials could never be enough to replace his son's presence. No.
It only made his absence more painfully clear.
Kim Soleum screamed and cried on his pillow for the rest of the day.