Chapter Text
“Dean!” A voice rang out behind me, but I kept walking without turning around.
Everything had happened way too fast since Davenport showed up. So fast that I hadn’t even realized I’d left Malone’s and was now outside, walking without really knowing where I was going.
I hadn’t seen any of it coming. Not his arrival. Not that damn fight.
That asshole Logan had told him I was okay with him joining the team. Except nobody had bothered telling me. And if I’d had to beat the shit out of someone else tonight, Logan would’ve been a pretty good candidate.
After everything that guy had put Summer, my sister, through, I could hardly pretend I regretted going after him. Honestly, I probably could’ve done a lot worse.
Fucking Davenport.
And yet, even I knew that wasn’t the only reason. There was her.
Allie.
Just thinking her name made something tighten painfully in my chest.
I still couldn’t believe she’d slept with him. Out of every guy on this planet, every guy in this city, this state, this whole damn country, she had to pick him.
Him.
That was the exact moment everything had gone off the rails. I’d pictured them together before I could stop myself. In the same bed. His hands on her. His body against hers. And the thought hit me with such a violent wave of disgust that I almost felt sick.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I felt a hand suddenly grab my arm and force me to turn around.
Allie.
Her cheeks were flushed. Her breathing uneven. Her eyes blazing.
“What is wrong with you?!”
“Let go of me! And go back inside!” I shouted immediately.
The alley was completely empty. No cars. No pedestrians. No sound except our voices echoing between the brick walls.
Just her and me.
“No way. You had no right to react like that, Dean. We’re not together, and we had an arrangement that we both agreed to.”
I clenched my jaw because she was right. And that was exactly the problem. We weren’t together. We never had been.
Tonight, I’d admitted something I’d been trying to ignore for weeks. That she wasn’t just a girl I slept with anymore. She’d become a lot more than that.
Was I attracted to her? Obviously. Did I have feelings for her? Maybe.
But now, I didn’t even know anymore. Everything had gotten so confusing that I couldn’t tell the difference between what I actually felt and what I was supposed to feel. All I knew was that the thought of her with someone else felt like having something ripped out of me with bare hands.
“You think I don’t know that?” I shot back bitterly. “You think I planned this? You think I chose to feel this way?”
I ran a hand through my hair before letting out a humorless laugh.
“Well, I didn’t, Allie. I know my reputation says otherwise, but I don’t control everything. I might be Briar’s biggest manwhore, but I still have feelings.” My voice cracked slightly on the last words.
Suddenly, I heard Garrett’s voice getting closer, followed a few seconds later by Wellsy, Logan, and Tucker. Of course.
They’d finally come outside too.
I turned my head slightly when they appeared. Judging by their faces, none of them looked particularly happy about the situation. But beneath the annoyance, I could see something else.
Confusion.
Maybe they’d heard what I’d just said to Allie. And honestly, why should I care? I’d never been known for keeping my mouth shut. If everyone knew how I felt now, so be it.
“Holy shit, man. You’ve done some stupid things since I’ve known you, but this is probably the stupidest one yet,” Garrett said, rubbing a hand over his face.
Beside him, Wellsy had already moved over to Allie. It was only then that I noticed the tears shining in her eyes. My stomach twisted immediately, but I looked away before I could think about it too much.
“Fuck all of you,” I spat, pointing at Logan. “You all knew he’d called him. You all know why I’ve never been able to stand that guy, and you still made that decision.”
My gaze briefly moved over the girls’ faces. They all looked just as lost as each other. Especially Allie. Like she was still trying to understand what had actually happened inside Malone’s.
“For the record, I didn’t know,” Garrett replied immediately.
“And for fuck’s sake, man!” Logan snapped. “What was I supposed to do? We lost Garrett and Birdie. As captain, I had to make a decision and—”
“I swear to God, I’m gonna—”
I took a step toward him before I’d even finished speaking. Tucker and Garrett immediately grabbed my arms. “Let me go!”
I struggled for a few seconds before they finally released me. I immediately backed up several steps, putting some distance between Logan and me. Just looking at his face made me want to start all over again.
At that moment, Beau stepped out of Malone’s too. My best friend. His eyes moved from me to Allie without him needing to ask a single question.
He already knew everything.
I’d told him about us. Well… told was a strong word. The truth was, he’d figured it out long before I’d said anything. During our drive to New York for Thanksgiving. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Could you…” Allie’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Could you give us a minute alone, please?”
Silence immediately settled over the group. Wellsy hesitated, Garrett too. But Beau stepped in before either of them could argue, and after a few more seconds, they all headed back inside. Leaving us alone.
Again.
“Dean… look at me, please.” Her voice was much softer now.
I watched her slowly step closer and reach for my arm. Instinctively, I took a step back. Just one. But enough to make it clear that I didn’t want her touching me.
Not now.
Not when I was already incapable of thinking straight whenever she was in the same room. I finally lifted my head. Our eyes met and for a few seconds, neither of us spoke.
“What do you want?” I asked coldly.
I saw her throat tighten.
“I… I don’t know why you did what you did. Maybe I’ll never know. Maybe someday I’ll understand. But…” A tear rolled down her cheek.
Fuck.
Because despite everything that had happened, despite my anger, my jealousy, despite the feeling that my heart had been ripped out of my chest ever since Davenport walked through Malone’s door, all I wanted in that moment was to pull her into my arms, hold her close, wipe away her tears, and kiss her.
But another image immediately flashed through my mind.
Hunter Davenport.
“But it didn’t mean anything, Dean,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “It never meant anything.”
I finally found myself saying the words I’d been dreading since the start of this conversation. The words I didn’t want to say. The words I already knew I’d regret before they even left my mouth.
Because despite everything I wanted to do in that moment, despite the almost painful urge to pull her into my arms, one thought kept circling through my head. Hunter.
Always Hunter.
And the harder I tried to get rid of it, the stronger it became.
“It’s over, Allie,” I finally said.
I watched her face fall instantly. As if she refused to accept what she’d just heard.
“No,” she whispered. Her voice was so quiet I almost thought I’d imagined it. “I don’t want that. And I know you don’t either.”
I briefly closed my eyes because she was right. Of course she was. I didn’t want it to be over. I didn’t want to pretend she’d never existed. I didn’t want any of this.
But it didn’t matter anymore.
Because sooner or later, people got used to anything. I’d get used to her absence the same way I’d gotten used to everything else.
A few weeks. A few months, maybe.
“Yeah, I don’t want it either!” I replied more sharply than I intended. “I don’t. But the thought of you with him makes me sick.”
I saw the pain cross her face before I’d even finished speaking. Still, unable to stop myself, I kept going.
“I can’t get it out of my head. I’m trying, damn it. I’m really trying. But every time I think about you, I think about him.” My jaw tightened.
“You disgust me.”
More tears spilled down her cheeks as she slowly shook her head.
“You don’t mean that.”
She tried to step closer again and, knowing it would probably be the last time, I let her. Her hands came up to cup my face, and I immediately closed my eyes.
Jesus.
This was exactly why I had to end it. Because one touch from her was still enough to make every certainty I had crumble.
Her scent surrounded me instantly. That smell I could’ve recognized among a thousand others. The one that had worked its way into everything without me noticing. My memories, my thoughts. Every damn moment I’d spent with her.
For a few seconds, I simply let myself exist. Without thinking. Without dwelling on everything that had brought us here.
Just her. Just us.
I finally opened my eyes.
“It’s over, Allie,” I whispered. “Go back to Sean. Or get together with Hunter. Do whatever you want. But forget about me.”
Her breathing broke immediately.
I swallowed hard. “And I’ll try to do the same.”