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C/AskCitti – 6d ago
U/HolyBladeofD15
What was the weirdest thing that happened at your workplace?
(Weekly Asks)
13.3k votes. 39.9k replies.
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U/TiredMarliner
Very old incident, this was around twenty years ago, I think. I used to work at a chain baby/child supply store in U-Corp before I got my devyat fixer license and fucked off from that shithole. One time I was working in nightshift with 3 other people, and 5 minutes before closing we got like 5 syndicate members busting down our front door. Now the place where I work in was pretty much dominated by the Middle, and seeing em busting down a business’ front door because the business owner accidentally slighted them was a pretty common sight, so honestly, me and my co-workers started to panic a bit. But then that was when I realized that only one of those five dudes was dressed like a Middle sibling. There was a thumb member who won’t stop smoking indoors (I don’t want to be the one to tell her off so whatever), a 9ft tall cybernetic bro who legit needed to bow to even enter the store, some dude in a suit, and a woman dressed up in all white with a veil covering her face. That wasn’t the weirdest part though, because Middle bro just squared up to me and asked me “Where do you keep all your baby stuff?” so it dawned on me that he and his buddies were apparently here to buy. I just pointed him at the correct direction and bro and his four buddies cleared the shelf pretty quickly. Like when I say they bought everything, they REALLY bought everything from the early childcare aisle, no crumbs no nothing left behind. Middle bro paid for all of them while yapping about how their (???) daughter’s gonna love it and they all leave one by one. To this day, that encounter still keeps me up at night and I cannot stop wondering about this daughter that they supposedly have. Is she fine? Is she alright? For my peace of mind, I really hope that she turns out fine...
1.3k votes.
U/BrokenMeridian
I think you’re just describing someone’s failed polycule, and their daughter is one of those creepy ultra-realistic dolls that some peeps in F-Corp loves.
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U/I<3XCorpGalvanizedSteel
This was twenty years ago tho. Those dolls only became a fad like five years ago.
U/ModelledPainter
I just want to know, is their daughter biological? Because genuinely who would be the one to get pregnant in that sort of arrangement?
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U/BlackSilenceFan
Middle bro probably got bent over and passed around like a blunt. They are just pussies like that lol.
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U/UnjerkedSilence
Do you think the Middle has an article describing what they should do when someone assumes that they are a sub???
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U/MaestroSimone
“Grind his bones into fine dust” or “561 kicks to the crotch”. They are kinda uncreative like that.
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U/Euniseiros
Happened like 1 week ago and if you live in T-Corp, I think you might know about the incident that I’m talking about. I work at this restaurant chain that I’m sure everyone’s familiar with (Hint: It starts with an H). I was working front of house; everything was chill until this lunatic on a horse broke in through the windows and started trashing the place. Didn’t feel like dying so I just ran out through the fire exit, so unfortunately didn’t see most of the actions, but there are plenty of videos that you can find of the incident online (if you know where to look for it). Pretty sure that dude got kicked out at the end, and I think they’re now organizing a manhunt for him.
787 votes.
U/AffectionateLili
Oh shit, I know precisely the incident that you are talking about. Fucking wild because ain’t that located at the place where all the fancy shops and restaurants are as well? How tf did nest security let that guy slip through. We paying our taxes for absolutely no border patrol it seems…
EDIT:
Link to the Monochrome Times article for those outside of T-corp,
Crazed man on headless wolf trashes newly opened HamHamPangPang in bizarre incident. ‘Bloke just started swinging at me! ‘Course I gotta swing back!!!’ Heathcliff Earnshaw, 20 years old.
U/KinoKinoki
Probably yet another dude who got fed up after being denied entry after they failed the newly implemented security rules in HHPP.
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U/UniNekko
Justified in that case ngl. One time me and my buddy of mine got denied entry because the security quizzed us on the year HHPP opened in K-Corp. I’ve never even been to K-Corp.
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U/AmpuleSnorter420
Tbf to them, it does deter scalpers from going in and buying like 700 of their limited-edition items and then stuffing them in stasis boxes before selling them on the black market.
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U/SunnyWhaler
Place I used to work at like 3 years ago. It was a relatively medium sized workshop in U-corp, specializing in patented ‘Lumina’ tech, which is just fancy word for ‘Weapon that shines really brightly’, though most people usually just hire us to install lights on their whaling boats. That’s fairly normal all things considered, but the first year I was working there the CEO of the workshop won’t stop hyping everyone up for this summer event. When I asked what’s the event about, no one answered, they just gave me vague non answers like “Oh you’re gonna love it!” or “It’s just a fun stress relief, no biggie.”. Sus as hell but I figured its one of those forced company trips. Lo and behold, came summer, and I found out that the hyped up summer event involves throwing 2 week old mouldy bread and heckling at this group of index proselytes. Like, they’re not even trying to hurt us or anything, they just came there to stare at us like a bunch of fucked up looking seagulls in front of our office. It happened every summer, and we have no idea what prescript they got to make them act like that. I left the job after managing to secure a work visa in a nest, but I have the gut feeling that they’re still gonna do that again this summer.
572 votes.
U/RowRowMyButt
Most normal index prescript be like.
U/FutureHierarchofHCorp
Typical index behavior lmao. At least they’re not directly causing harm as per usual
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U/Servant_of_the_Will
The notion that we are merely doing all of these things purely to cause ‘harm’ must end. What we do is merely to ensure that everything is in accordance with the will of the city.
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U/SweetestSkies0999
SILENCE CULT!!!
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U/WangWangWang
I’ve been working at this medium sized pharmacy in H-Corp and we sold some oddly specific boluses for oddly specific situations. So, one day, I got this weird blue lady coming in, did all of the customer service spiel but all that she asked for was a single pregnancy test. Pretty normal, all things considered. I gave her the item, she paid, she leaves, all’s well that ends well. But approximately one hour later, she came back looking VERY disgruntled. She asks me for another pregnancy test from a different brand. Wanted to tell her that generally there are little to no differences between these brands but hey, I’m not gonna argue against more money lol. She paid for it, and left. That really should’ve been the end of it but she came back AGAIN! And this time she just straight up asked for one pregnancy test from each brand. I thought I misheard, so I just stood there dumbfounded and she had to repeat her request to me again. Now I like money, as most peoples do. But usually there is this cut off point where your greed turns into concern, so I told her if she really NEEDS to be certain then she should probably get it tested somewhere. Blue lady didn’t look to pleased at that, just told me upfront that it was not an option for her. Which boggles me because she could clearly afford all of those pregnancy tests. Whatever, customer is always right. So, I just caved and sold her the goods. I wonder how she’s doing rn.
131 votes.
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C/RelationshipAdvice – 1d ago
U/Book_Burner_Account
I (??? F) got pregnant after sleeping with my long-term significant other (1000+ M). I need advice on how to approach him and his family about this situation.
Posting under a burner account because I am certain that my significant other, his eldest daughter, and other members of his family frequent this website.
I would like to preface this by saying that for the longest time, the both of us thought that we were biologically incompatible, hence why I am utterly flabbergasted by this. I am certain that I’m pregnant because I’ve bought out the entire stock of pregnancy tests from a pharmacy in H corp and all of them came out positive.
So, I will bite the bullet and ask for help. How am I supposed to start this conversation with him and his family?
27 Votes. 139 Replies.
U/GODevyatGO
Need more context on this, what is your significant other and his family like? If you trust them and you have been with them for a very long time, then there I see nothing wrong with being honest; just have a mature discussion with him first and then ask him whether he wants to pass on the news to his family or not/anything else.
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U/Book_Burner_Account
I suppose that would be wise, I am honestly more concerned for how his family would react more than anything, because knowing him he would definitely want to gather round everyone up and drop the announcement like an anvil after I told him.
U/Kimineko_0w0
I know its technically not my business and all, but I am curious on what biologically incompatible means in this context? Is either one of you infertile or something?
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U/Book_Burner_Account
It says so what it says on the tin. My significant other was afflicted with a peculiar disease which rendered him incapable of having children by normal means.
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U/Kimineko_0w0
Wait but you mentioned that he has a family and a daughter???
U/Baroness_of_Bristly_Loquaciousness
Are you not even going to give us more elaboration on the ages? What is even going on there?
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U/Book_Burner_Account
I genuinely have no idea how old I am. As for my significant other, he never told me his age, and I think it’s also because he also had no idea how old he is. So, I just guessed.
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U/Baroness_of_Bristly_Loquaciousness
SO YOUR MOST NATURAL GUESS IS THAT HE’S OVER 1000 YEARS OLD???
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U/Book_Burner_Account
That was the closest guess that I could come up with.
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U/One_Very_Fun_Gal
Wait so, if I’m getting this right. You have been in a relationship with this guy for Head knows how long, you don’t even know his age, and the most realistic guess you could make about his age is that he has the age of a fossilized museum exhibit? I don’t mean to be doubtful, but do you really know this guy? He sounds shady af. Like have you heard about that old story about that syndicate who pressured people into handing them their unwanted babies so that the babies could be sold to this restaurant in W Corp backstreets?
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U/Book_Burner_Account
While I admire your concern and the veracity of your imagination, I can assure you that I’ve known my significant other for a very very long time. I suppose technically, he was some flavor of a cannibal, but he has since turned a new leaf. I am absolutely certain that he is not a denizen of district 23’s backstreets.
U/Xue_Long_Bao
Honestly, considering that you are typing this out from H Corp, might’ve been easier to buy a termination bolus rather than deal with the family drama (assuming you’re not too attached). I live in P Corp now but my parents emigrated from H Corp and I lived here for a good 10 years or so. Heard that family business gets very nasty there, especially if you’re in the middle-upper class bracket. It honestly sounds like it could be a matter of life and death.
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U/Book_Burner_Account
I’m only visiting H Corp and my significant other is not from H Corp, but I guess I will keep that idea in mind…
U/DunesofSalt
If this isn’t so obviously fake, I would be so looking forward to seeing this in C/BestofCittiUpdates in a few months. Lol.
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U/Book_Burner_Account
Trust me, I wish this is fake too.
U/SevenIntern
So, your significant other is:
- over 1000 years old
- Has a very big family from the looks of it
- Supposedly incapable of having children with you but he had multiple kids in the past
- Some type of a cannibal but not an full on "Mince your flesh and put you in a pie" type of cannibal
OP, any chance that your SO has one of those fancy red eyes combat augment?
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U/Book_Burner_Account
He does have red eyes, but it isn’t a combat augment.
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U/SevenIntern
Try this subforum OP (C/Bloodfiend_Relationship_Advice)
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U/Book_Burner_Account
I have no idea that such a forum exists. Thank you for your help!
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U/GODevyatGO
MOTHERFUCKER, you’ve been sleeping with a bloodfiend this whole time? You could have just put it at the body text instead of leading us on!!!
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U/DunesofSalt
Oh man I really cannot wait for the BOCU post now. Lmao.