Work Text:
Regulus Black was twenty-three minutes late to class.
This was unusual enough to bring the room to a gradual, suspicious silence when the door finally opened.
Regulus was rarely late. Regulus was usually already seated before anyone else arrived, his parchment aligned precisely with the edge of the desk, his ink bottle uncorked, his expression communicating that he had been forced to share oxygen with the rest of them and had yet to forgive anyone responsible.
Today, however, he appeared in the doorway with his bag hanging neglected from one shoulder, his pale face blank with annoyance and his arms wrapped protectively around an enormous white cat.
The cat was not merely fluffy.
It was offensively fluffy.
She was a great cloud of pure white fur gathered against Regulus’s chest, so thick and soft that it nearly swallowed his hands. Her tail hung over his forearm like a feathered plume. Tufts of fur burst from between her toes, around her neck, from the tips of her ears and along her round cheeks. A neat collar was almost hidden beneath it all, though a small bow remained visible beneath her chin.
Her eyes were a pale grey-blue.
They were nearly identical to Regulus’s.
So was her expression.
Both Regulus and the cat stared into the classroom with the same cold, flat, deeply unimpressed look.
For several seconds, nobody said anything.
James Potter slowly lowered his quill.
Sirius turned in his seat.
Peter blinked twice.
Remus looked from Regulus to the cat and then back again, his eyebrows lifting.
Lily pressed her lips together.
Mary’s mouth fell open.
Marlene made a strangled sound into her sleeve.
Alice clasped both hands beneath her chin.
Frank stared.
Fabian and Gideon exchanged one long, delighted look.
Barty Crouch Junior, seated beside the empty place Regulus usually occupied, immediately looked furious.
Evan Rosier leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for one brief moment, as though he had known this was coming and had been trying desperately to pretend otherwise.
Pandora Rosier brightened.
Dorcas Meadowes looked at the cat.
The cat looked at Dorcas.
Dorcas inclined her head respectfully.
The professor stared at Regulus.
Regulus stared back.
The cat stared too.
“Mr Black,” the professor said at last.
Regulus adjusted the white mass in his arms, lifting her slightly higher against his chest.
“Yes?”
“You are late.”
“Yes.”
The professor waited.
Regulus did not elaborate.
The enormous cat’s tail flicked once against his sleeve.
The professor looked pointedly at her.
“Would you care to explain?”
Regulus glanced down at the cat as though there could not possibly be anything about the situation that required an explanation.
Then he looked back at the professor.
“This is Artemis.”
Silence.
James covered his mouth.
The professor’s expression tightened. “I was referring both to your lateness and to the fact that you have brought a cat into my classroom.”
“I know.”
“And?”
“And this is Artemis.”
Mary ducked her head behind Lily’s shoulder, shaking violently.
Lily whispered, “Stop it.”
“I’m not doing anything,” Mary whispered back.
“You’re laughing.”
“I’m trying not to.”
Marlene leaned across the desk. “He’s introduced her twice. What more do you want from him?”
“Miss McKinnon.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Marlene,” Frank murmured.
“What?”
“Probably don’t help.”
Fabian rested his chin on his fist. “I think it helped.”
“It definitely helped,” Gideon agreed.
The professor inhaled slowly.
“Mr Black, why are you late?”
Regulus looked down at Artemis again.
The cat looked up at him with the same expressionless grey-blue stare.
“She did not want to leave the bed.”
A snort escaped Sirius.
Regulus’s eyes flicked towards him.
Sirius immediately straightened his face, though his shoulders continued to shake.
The professor stared. “The cat did not want to leave the bed.”
“Artemis,” Regulus corrected.
“The cat.”
“Artemis.”
“Your cat.”
“My daughter.”
Barty slammed his quill down.
Several people jumped.
“No,” Barty said.
Regulus turned his head.
Barty pointed accusingly at Artemis. “No. We are not doing this again. That thing is not your daughter.”
Artemis slowly turned her face towards him.
Her expression did not change.
Barty glared back.
“She is my baby,” Regulus said coldly.
“She is a cat.”
“She is a little angel.”
“She bit me.”
“You frightened her.”
“I was sitting down!”
“You were sitting near her.”
“It was my chair!”
“She was there first.”
“She stole it!”
“She chose it.”
“It was my chair before she was born!”
Regulus’s face remained blank. “That sounds like jealousy.”
“I am jealous!”
The admission rang through the room.
Barty froze.
Evan opened his eyes again.
Pandora’s smile became dreamy.
Dorcas looked down at her parchment, shoulders moving once with a silent laugh.
James dropped his head onto his folded arms and shook with amusement.
Remus looked at Barty over the top of his book. “At least you’re honest.”
“I hate that cat,” Barty declared.
Regulus drew Artemis closer, cupping one hand over the side of her head as though protecting her from the cruelty of the world.
Artemis continued staring at Barty.
Her pale eyes narrowed slightly.
“You upset her,” Regulus said.
“I did not.”
“You did.”
“She doesn’t look upset.”
“She has a subtle face.”
“She has your face!”
“Exactly.”
That broke whatever restraint remained in the classroom.
Mary burst into laughter. Marlene folded over her desk. Fabian slapped Gideon’s shoulder. Gideon wheezed. Peter covered his mouth with both hands, though a high, helpless sound still escaped him. Even Lily looked down quickly, pretending to rearrange her parchment while her lips twitched.
Sirius stared at his brother and the cat.
Then he stared harder.
“Oh, that is unsettling.”
Regulus frowned. “What is?”
“You match.”
“We do not.”
“You do,” Peter said before thinking better of it.
Regulus turned towards him.
Peter shrank behind Remus.
Remus studied Artemis with academic seriousness. “Same eyes.”
“Same expression,” Frank added.
Alice nodded enthusiastically. “They’re both beautiful.”
Regulus’s face softened at once as he looked down at Artemis.
The change was so immediate that James lifted his head again.
Regulus smiled.
It was not his usual small, knowing curve of the mouth. It was gentle and warm and completely unguarded, his eyes softening as he bent his head towards the cat.
“You hear that?” he murmured. “Alice says you’re beautiful.”
Artemis blinked slowly.
“You are,” Alice said. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
The cat’s tail lifted.
Regulus looked pleased. “She likes you.”
“How can you tell?” Sirius asked.
Regulus’s expression went flat again when he looked at him. “Because I know my baby.”
Barty made a disgusted noise.
Regulus ignored him and kissed the top of Artemis’s head.
He kissed between her ears.
Then one fluffy cheek.
Then the other.
Then her forehead again.
Artemis remained perfectly still, accepting every kiss with the grave dignity of a queen receiving tribute from a devoted subject.
James watched the whole performance with a slowly widening grin.
“Oh,” he said softly.
Regulus looked over.
James rested his cheek against one hand. “That’s adorable.”
“It is not.”
“It really is.”
Regulus kissed Artemis’s head once more. “She is adorable.”
“I meant both of you.”
Regulus stared at him.
James smiled brightly.
Regulus looked away.
James’s grin grew.
The professor cleared their throat sharply.
The room settled by degrees, though Mary continued making small, helpless noises behind one hand.
“Mr Black,” the professor said, “whatever attachment you may have to your pet—”
“My daughter.”
“—your cat cannot remain in the classroom.”
Regulus went completely still.
Artemis went completely still with him.
The professor gestured towards the corridor. “Take her outside.”
Regulus’s face changed.
It was not a dramatic change. His mouth tightened. His nose wrinkled faintly. His eyebrows drew together by the smallest amount.
It was, somehow, an expression of such profound offence that James had to bite the inside of his cheek.
“Outside,” Regulus repeated.
“Yes.”
“Alone?”
“She is a cat, Mr Black. I imagine she will be perfectly capable of sitting outside until the end of the lesson.”
Regulus stared as though the professor had suggested throwing Artemis into the lake.
“No.”
The professor blinked. “Excuse me?”
“No.”
“Mr Black—”
“I am not leaving Artemis outside.”
“You are not permitted to bring animals into class.”
“She has separation anxiety.”
Barty threw up both hands. “She does not!”
Regulus rounded on him. “She does.”
“She disappears for hours!”
“She enjoys her independence.”
“She slept in Pandora’s wardrobe for an entire afternoon!”
“She needed privacy.”
“She got trapped in there!”
“She was exploring.”
“She climbed inside while Pandora was looking directly at her!”
Pandora tilted her head. “She wanted to see my yellow wool.”
“Because you made her those ridiculous boots,” Barty said.
“They are not ridiculous,” Regulus snapped.
The professor closed their eyes briefly. “Boots?”
Pandora nodded. “Little yellow crocheted kitty booties.”
There was another silence.
James turned towards her. “You made the cat shoes?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“So she does not hurt her paws.”
Regulus nodded firmly. “Her feet are delicate.”
Barty stared at him. “Her feet are covered in fur.”
“Not enough.”
“They are extremely covered in fur!”
“You do not understand her needs.”
“I understand that she has claws!”
“Sensitive claws.”
“She shredded my sleeve!”
“You reached towards her without permission.”
“I was picking up my own book!”
“She was sitting on it.”
“Why was she sitting on my book?”
“She likes literature.”
“It was upside down!”
“She was still reading it.”
Evan pinched the bridge of his nose.
Dorcas leaned towards him. “How long has this been happening?”
“Too long.”
“Has Barty always argued with the cat?”
“Since the day Regulus brought her home.”
“I do not argue with her,” Barty said.
Artemis gave him a slow blink.
Barty pointed. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“She cannot understand you,” Frank said carefully.
“She absolutely can.”
Artemis’s tail flicked.
Barty looked vindicated. “See?”
“You have somehow lost several arguments to an animal,” Remus observed.
“I have not lost.”
The cat yawned.
Barty’s eyes narrowed. “That was deliberate.”
“It probably was,” Sirius admitted.
The professor struck the desk lightly with one hand.
“Enough.”
Everyone quietened.
Regulus continued holding Artemis closely to his chest. One hand spread beneath her body while the other supported her back. Her front paws rested against his shoulder, nearly lost beneath the thick fur around her legs.
“She cannot stay,” the professor said.
Regulus’s face remained offended.
“She will cause a disturbance.”
“She is silent.”
“She is an animal.”
“She is better behaved than most of the people in this room.”
“That is not difficult,” Lily muttered.
Marlene glanced at her. “Traitor.”
“I included myself.”
“Oh. Fair.”
The professor pointed towards the door again. “Outside.”
Regulus’s grip tightened protectively.
“No.”
“Mr Black, this is not a negotiation.”
“She has separation anxiety.”
“You have already said that.”
“Because you have failed to understand it.”
“She will be distressed,” the professor said flatly.
“She will.”
“She currently looks entirely unbothered.”
Regulus looked down at Artemis.
Artemis looked up at him.
Something passed between them.
James saw it.
So did Remus.
So did Evan, judging by the way his shoulders sank.
Regulus bent his head until his mouth was hidden against the cat’s ear.
He whispered something.
It was too quiet for anyone else to hear.
Artemis’s ears twitched.
Regulus straightened.
For one moment, nothing happened.
Then Artemis made the most miserable sound anyone in the room had ever heard.
“Mrrrroooow.”
Alice gasped.
The cat pressed both front paws against Regulus’s chest and stretched upwards, clinging to him.
“Mraaaaaow.”
Her eyes widened.
Her ears drooped.
She pushed her round, fluffy face beneath Regulus’s chin and began pawing desperately at the front of his robes.
“Mrow. Mrow. Mrrrrrrow.”
“Oh, no,” Alice whispered.
Frank stared at the cat. “She does sound upset.”
“She’s acting,” Barty said.
Artemis released a high, broken little whine.
“Rrrrreeeow.”
Regulus’s face filled with immediate concern.
“Oh, baby.”
He gathered her even closer.
Artemis wrapped both front legs around his neck.
“Shh,” Regulus cooed, swaying her gently. “I know. I know, darling. It is all right.”
“Mrrrow.”
“I am not leaving you.”
“Mraow.”
“I know.”
Regulus kissed her forehead.
Then her nose.
Then beneath one eye.
He stroked the thick fur along her back, making slow, soothing passes from her neck towards her tail.
“You are safe,” he murmured. “Papa has you.”
Barty made a strangled sound.
Regulus ignored him.
Artemis’s fake crying grew louder.
“Mrrrrow. Rrrrrooow. Mrow. Mrow. Mrow.”
“Oh, she’s heartbroken,” Mary whispered, eyes wide with theatrical horror.
“She is lying,” Barty hissed.
“Look at her,” Mary said.
“I am looking at her!”
“Then how can you be so cruel?”
“Because she is evil!”
Artemis buried her face against Regulus’s neck.
Barty pointed wildly. “She is laughing!”
“She is crying,” Regulus snapped.
“She is purring!”
“She finds my presence soothing.”
“She is manipulating you!”
“She is a baby.”
“She is enormous!”
Regulus covered one of Artemis’s ears with his hand.
“Do not body-shame my daughter.”
Barty looked ready to climb across the desk.
Evan caught the back of his robe.
“No.”
“Let me go.”
“No.”
“She knows what she’s doing.”
“Yes,” Evan said. “That is why you are not going over there.”
Artemis peered over Regulus’s shoulder at Barty.
Her eyes were no longer wide.
Her ears were no longer drooping.
She looked blankly triumphant.
Barty saw it.
His face twisted in outrage.
“Did anyone else see that?”
“No,” Dorcas said.
“You did.”
“No.”
“You’re smiling.”
“I smile all the time.”
“You do not!”
Dorcas’s expression became perfectly flat. “I have no idea what you mean.”
Pandora watched Artemis with open admiration. “She remembered the signal.”
Barty’s head snapped towards her.
“The signal?”
Regulus’s eyes narrowed at Pandora.
Pandora blinked.
Then she smiled serenely. “The signal that she is upset.”
Barty made a noise of complete disbelief.
James pushed his glasses further up his nose, smirking at Regulus.
“You trained her.”
Regulus continued stroking Artemis. “I do not know what you are talking about.”
“You whispered something.”
“I reassured her.”
“And then she started crying on command.”
“She realised the seriousness of the situation.”
James’s grin turned fond.
“You are evil.”
Regulus glared.
Artemis glared too.
James’s expression softened. “And adorable.”
Regulus looked away again.
“Stop saying that.”
“No.”
“Potter.”
“Black.”
“Stop flirting with me while my child is in distress.”
James leaned forward across his desk. “I could comfort you both.”
“You would make it worse.”
“I’m very comforting.”
“You are loud.”
“I can be quiet.”
“No, you cannot,” Sirius said.
James did not look away from Regulus. “I can try.”
“You once spoke continuously through an entire examination,” Lily said.
“I was thinking aloud.”
“You were singing.”
“That helps me think.”
“You sang the same line thirty-seven times.”
“I was trying to remember what came next.”
“There was no next line.”
“That explains why I couldn’t remember it.”
Regulus adjusted Artemis against his chest.
The cat gave another miserable little whine.
“Reeow.”
Regulus immediately turned all his attention back to her.
“Oh, sweetheart.”
He rubbed one finger gently beneath her chin.
“You are all right.”
Artemis kneaded her paws against his shoulder.
Regulus’s face melted again.
It was almost alarming to watch.
The cold, sharp boy who regularly looked at the rest of them as though calculating precisely how much inconvenience their deaths might cause him now appeared to be one soft breath away from dissolving into the cat’s fur.
“My beautiful girl,” he whispered.
Artemis blinked up at him.
“My little angel.”
“Mrrp.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Mrrp.”
“You are Papa’s perfect baby.”
Barty’s forehead hit his desk.
“I cannot live like this.”
Pandora patted his shoulder.
“You can.”
“I cannot.”
“You have managed so far.”
“Barely.”
Fabian leaned towards Gideon. “Do you reckon he’s jealous because Regulus calls the cat his baby?”
“Obviously.”
“I am not jealous of the name,” Barty said into the desk.
“Then what are you jealous of?” Gideon asked.
Barty lifted his head.
His hair was flattened against his forehead.
“She gets carried everywhere.”
Pandora nodded. “Sometimes in the carrier.”
The professor’s face went blank. “The carrier.”
Pandora smiled. “I made it.”
“Of course you did,” Evan murmured.
“It is a cat version of a baby carrier,” Pandora explained. “For when Artemis does not want to walk.”
Marlene stared. “The cat decides when she doesn’t want to walk?”
Regulus looked insulted again. “She should not be forced to walk when she is tired.”
“She has four legs,” Barty said.
“And?”
“You have two!”
“I do not see how that is relevant.”
“You carry her when she has twice as many legs as you!”
“She is little.”
“She is fat.”
Every head in the room turned towards Barty.
Regulus’s expression became lethal.
Barty slowly realised his mistake.
Artemis stared at him.
Regulus covered both of her ears.
“What,” he said quietly, “did you call my daughter?”
Barty glanced at Evan.
Evan released his robe and sat back.
“No,” Barty said. “You cannot abandon me now.”
“You did this to yourself.”
“I meant fluffy.”
“You did not,” Regulus said.
“I meant she has fat fur.”
“Fat fur,” Remus repeated.
“Yes.”
“There is no such thing as fat fur.”
“There is now.”
Regulus continued staring at him.
Barty raised both hands.
“She is very beautiful.”
Regulus’s expression did not change.
“And elegant.”
Nothing.
“And graceful.”
Artemis licked one paw.
“And appropriately proportioned.”
The cat continued washing herself.
“And I am sorry.”
Regulus slowly uncovered her ears.
“You apologise to her.”
Barty looked at Artemis.
Artemis stopped licking her paw.
They stared at each other.
Barty’s mouth tightened.
“I am sorry.”
Regulus raised one eyebrow.
Barty clenched his jaw.
“I am sorry, Artemis.”
The cat resumed washing herself.
Regulus looked satisfied. “She forgives you.”
“She did not even look at me.”
“She is being gracious.”
“She hates me.”
“Because you call her fat.”
“One time!”
“Today.”
“Because she is enormous!”
Regulus’s eyes narrowed.
“Fluffy,” Barty corrected quickly. “Extremely fluffy.”
“Good.”
The professor lowered themselves into their chair with an air of someone whose spirit had quietly left their body.
“Mr Black.”
Regulus turned.
Artemis’s head turned at the same time.
The professor looked at both of them.
Then at the corridor.
Then at the rows of watching students.
Alice looked close to tears over Artemis’s distress.
Frank appeared sincerely concerned.
Mary and Marlene were visibly prepared to argue on the cat’s behalf despite having met her less than half an hour ago.
Fabian and Gideon were enjoying themselves far too much.
Peter was attempting to coax Artemis’s attention with a tiny movement of his fingers.
Remus was watching the entire situation with detached fascination.
Lily was pretending not to be entertained.
Sirius looked deeply unsettled by the resemblance between his brother and the cat.
James was openly staring at Regulus with a besotted smirk.
Pandora seemed proud.
Dorcas appeared willing to defend Artemis in court.
Evan had accepted defeat before the battle began.
Barty looked as though he were moments away from challenging the cat to a duel.
The cat herself remained wrapped around Regulus’s neck, her enormous white tail hanging over his arm.
“Mrow,” Artemis said pitifully.
Regulus glared at the professor.
“You made her cry.”
The professor closed their eyes.
A long silence followed.
Finally, they sighed.
“Sit down, Mr Black.”
Regulus remained where he was. “With Artemis?”
“Yes.”
“And she may stay?”
“Yes.”
“She will not be removed?”
“No.”
“She may sit with me?”
“Yes.”
“And you will not attempt to leave her outside?”
“No, Mr Black.”
Regulus’s expression became serene.
Artemis immediately stopped crying.
The entire room stared.
Barty shot upright.
“There!”
Regulus looked at him. “What?”
“She stopped!”
“She feels safe now.”
“She understood every word!”
“She is clever.”
“She was pretending!”
Regulus turned away from him and walked towards his desk.
Artemis settled comfortably in his arms, no longer clinging, whining or showing the slightest sign of distress.
The professor watched her pass with narrowed eyes.
Artemis looked back.
Her pale grey-blue eyes were calm.
Blank.
Annoyed.
Smug.
The professor seemed to reconsider every decision that had led them to this moment.
Regulus reached the empty seat beside Barty.
Barty immediately dragged his chair several inches away.
“Keep her on your side.”
Regulus sat, adjusting his robes and settling Artemis across his lap.
“She does not want to be near you.”
Artemis stretched one paw towards Barty’s parchment.
Barty snatched it away.
“She is trying to destroy my work.”
“She is curious.”
“She hates me.”
“You upset her.”
“I apologised!”
“She remembers.”
“You said she forgave me!”
“Forgiveness is not forgetfulness.”
Dorcas leaned around Evan. “That sounded personal.”
“It was,” Evan said.
Regulus placed his bag beneath the desk and arranged Artemis carefully across his thighs.
The cat almost covered his entire lap.
Her fur spilled over both sides of his legs in thick white waves. Her tail curled around his waist. Regulus stroked her back, smoothing down a section that had become slightly tousled while she performed her breakdown.
Then he noticed her collar.
“Oh.”
His expression softened again.
The small bow beneath her chin had shifted sideways.
Regulus lifted it gently, fingers careful as he straightened the fabric and centred it against her throat.
“There,” he murmured. “Much better.”
Artemis looked up at him.
Regulus smiled.
James, watching from across the room, made a quiet sound.
Regulus looked over. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You made a noise.”
“I’m just appreciating the view.”
Regulus’s stare flattened.
James rested his chin on his hand.
“You look nice with a baby on your lap.”
Barty gagged.
Regulus’s cheeks coloured faintly.
“She is a cat.”
“Oh, now she’s a cat?”
Regulus scowled.
James grinned. “Your daughter, sorry.”
“That is not what you meant.”
“What did I mean?”
“You know what you meant.”
“I could give Artemis siblings.”
Sirius spun around so quickly his chair scraped across the floor.
“No.”
Lily closed her eyes.
Mary’s jaw dropped.
Marlene slapped a hand over her own mouth.
Fabian whispered, “Bold.”
Gideon nodded solemnly. “Reckless, but bold.”
Peter looked between James and Regulus with alarm.
Frank turned red.
Alice stared at James.
Remus lowered his book very slowly.
Evan’s eyebrows rose.
Pandora looked delighted.
Dorcas murmured, “There it is.”
Barty pointed at James. “You stay away from him.”
James did not even glance at him. “Wasn’t talking to you.”
“You were talking about making children with him!”
The professor stood abruptly.
“No one is making children in my classroom.”
A stunned silence fell.
The professor appeared to hear their own sentence.
Their face changed.
Marlene made a choking sound.
Mary collapsed against Lily.
Lily covered her face with both hands.
Fabian slid down in his chair.
Gideon’s forehead struck the desk.
Even Evan laughed.
Regulus stared fixedly at Artemis.
The tips of his ears had turned red.
James looked unbearably pleased with himself.
The professor sat down again.
“We are beginning the lesson.”
James raised one hand.
“No.”
“I haven’t asked anything yet.”
“No.”
James lowered his hand, still smiling.
Regulus stroked Artemis with rigid concentration.
“Potter,” he muttered.
“Yes, darling?”
“Stop.”
“You haven’t said you dislike the idea.”
“I am trying to learn.”
“So serious.”
“Unlike you.”
“I’m serious about you.”
Regulus ignored him.
James leaned sideways to catch his eye.
“Regulus.”
Nothing.
“Regulus.”
Regulus continued petting Artemis.
“Black.”
Nothing.
“Artemis’s father.”
Regulus’s mouth twitched.
James saw it.
“You did it,” he said triumphantly.
Regulus looked at him. “Did what?”
“Smiled.”
“No.”
“You did.”
“I did not.”
“You absolutely did.”
“You are imagining things.”
“I’m imagining our future together.”
Regulus looked back down at the cat.
“You are unbearable.”
James’s voice softened. “You think I’m charming.”
“I think you are loud.”
“Artemis likes me.”
The cat slowly looked towards James.
James smiled at her.
Artemis blinked.
Then turned her head away.
Barty burst into delighted laughter.
“She hates you too!”
James frowned. “She does not.”
“She dismissed you.”
“She’s shy.”
“She looked at you and decided you were not worth her time.”
“That is exactly what Regulus did when I first spoke to him,” James said. “And look how well that’s going.”
“It is not going anywhere,” Regulus said.
James winked. “Yet.”
Regulus rolled his eyes.
His hand, however, continued moving gently through Artemis’s fur.
The professor began speaking.
For nearly a minute, the class was quiet.
Then Artemis shifted.
Regulus immediately looked down.
“What is it?”
Artemis put one paw against his chest.
He bent towards her.
She touched his chin.
Regulus’s entire expression melted.
“Oh, you want attention.”
Barty stared at the ceiling. “She has been receiving attention since she arrived.”
“She needs more.”
“She always needs more.”
“She is affectionate.”
“She is greedy.”
Regulus kissed Artemis’s paw.
“She is perfect.”
“She scratched my face.”
“You criticised her bow.”
“It was crooked!”
Regulus’s hand flew protectively to the bow. “It was not.”
“It was.”
“It had character,” Pandora said.
“Thank you,” Regulus replied.
Barty looked betrayed. “You made it.”
“I know.”
“And you made the boots.”
“Yes.”
“And the carrier.”
“Yes.”
“Why are you encouraging this?”
Pandora looked genuinely confused. “Because Artemis is my niece.”
Barty dropped his head into his hands.
Evan patted his back once.
“You brought this upon yourself by asking.”
Dorcas glanced towards Regulus. “Did you bring the boots?”
Regulus’s eyes brightened.
Barty’s head snapped up.
“No.”
Regulus reached into his bag.
“No.”
He withdrew four tiny yellow crocheted booties.
Pandora clasped her hands together.
Alice gasped again.
Mary made a noise of pure delight.
Marlene twisted around for a better view.
“You carry them with you?” Frank asked.
“Of course.”
“Why?”
“In case the floor is rough.”
“It is stone,” Barty said. “The floor is always stone.”
“Exactly.”
Regulus lifted Artemis gently and settled her upright against his chest.
“Paw.”
Artemis raised one fluffy front paw.
James’s jaw dropped.
“Oh, she knows tricks.”
“It is not a trick,” Regulus said as he eased the yellow booty over her paw. “She understands me.”
“Paw,” Barty said mockingly.
Artemis ignored him.
“See?” Regulus said. “She only listens to people she respects.”
Barty’s eyes narrowed.
Regulus held out his hand.
“Other paw, angel.”
Artemis offered the second one.
Regulus slid the next yellow booty into place.
Pandora leaned across the desk, watching closely. “Do they still fit?”
“Yes. The ties are perfect.”
“I made them adjustable.”
“You did beautifully.”
Pandora smiled.
Regulus put the remaining two booties onto Artemis’s back paws, tying each one with careful little bows.
When he had finished, he lifted her beneath the front legs and held her upright.
Artemis’s back legs dangled.
Four yellow crocheted boots emerged from beneath the massive cloud of white fur.
The room fell silent again.
James looked stricken.
“Oh, that is evil.”
Regulus frowned. “What is?”
“You cannot possibly expect me to concentrate while she looks like that.”
Artemis stared at him.
Regulus kissed the side of her face.
“She looks beautiful.”
“She looks ridiculous,” Barty muttered.
Regulus turned.
Barty raised both hands. “Beautifully ridiculous.”
“Better.”
Regulus lowered Artemis to the floor beside his chair.
She stood motionless for a moment, her paws now cushioned by the crocheted booties.
Then she took one step.
Her front paw lifted far higher than necessary.
She placed it down slowly.
Then lifted the next.
The enormous white cat began walking across the classroom in stiff, exaggerated movements, each yellow-covered paw rising dramatically before touching the floor.
Mary folded over with laughter.
Marlene clung to Alice.
Alice was nearly crying.
Frank covered his smile.
Peter whispered, “She walks like she’s marching.”
Fabian whispered back, “She’s inspecting the troops.”
Gideon straightened as Artemis approached.
The cat passed him without acknowledgement.
“She found me unworthy,” he said gravely.
“She’s very discerning,” Regulus replied.
Artemis walked past Sirius.
Sirius leaned away.
“She is staring at me.”
“She is deciding whether she likes you,” Regulus said.
“I’m your brother.”
“That does not help your case.”
Artemis paused.
She looked up at Sirius.
Sirius looked down at her.
They wore almost exactly the same suspicious expression.
Sirius pointed at Regulus. “She’s you.”
Regulus looked offended. “She is far sweeter than I am.”
“Is she?”
Artemis lifted one yellow paw.
For one hopeful moment, Sirius extended his hand.
Artemis smacked him.
Her paw struck his fingers with a soft crocheted thump.
Then she turned and walked away.
The room erupted.
Sirius stared after her.
Regulus looked smug. “She has excellent judgement.”
“She hit me!”
“She sensed your energy.”
“My energy?”
“Hostile.”
“I was being friendly!”
“You pointed.”
“At you!”
“She is protective.”
Sirius stared at Artemis, then at Regulus. “She really is your daughter.”
Regulus smiled gently. “Yes.”
James watched him.
The smugness softened.
The smile remained.
For a few moments, Regulus seemed to forget the classroom entirely. He watched Artemis make her stiff little journey back towards him, his expression fond and open.
When she reached his chair, she gave a quiet chirp.
“Mrrp.”
Regulus bent at once and gathered her up.
“There you are.”
Artemis settled against his chest.
Regulus tucked her beneath his chin, kissed the top of her head and stroked one thumb across her cheek.
“Such a brave girl.”
“She walked six feet,” Barty said.
“In unfamiliar shoes.”
“She owns the shoes.”
“She does not wear them every day.”
“Because she hates them.”
Artemis began purring.
Regulus looked victorious. “She loves them.”
“She loves being held.”
“She loves me.”
Barty went quiet.
Regulus glanced at him.
Barty was staring at Artemis’s position against Regulus’s chest.
Regulus’s eyes narrowed knowingly.
“You are jealous.”
“No.”
“You are.”
“I am not.”
“You want to be carried.”
Barty flushed. “I do not.”
Fabian looked interested. “Would you fit in the carrier?”
“No,” Evan said immediately.
Pandora considered it. “I could make a larger one.”
“You will not,” Barty said.
“You said you wanted to be carried,” Regulus replied.
“I did not!”
“You complained that Artemis gets carried everywhere.”
“That is not the same thing.”
“It sounded like jealousy.”
“It was an observation.”
“It was a whine.”
“I do not whine.”
Artemis gave a tiny, mocking sound.
“Mrrrow.”
Barty stared at her.
“Keep out of this.”
Regulus kissed her forehead. “Do not listen to him, darling.”
“I was speaking to the cat.”
“Artemis.”
“The cat.”
“My daughter.”
Barty leaned across the gap between their chairs.
“Your daughter is a manipulative little monster.”
Artemis reached one yellow paw towards him.
Barty flinched.
She placed it gently on the end of his nose.
Everyone froze.
Barty went cross-eyed trying to look at it.
Artemis held her paw there.
Regulus stared.
Barty did not move.
The cat’s pale eyes narrowed.
Then she pressed.
Barty’s head tipped backwards.
Regulus’s lips trembled.
“Do not laugh,” Barty warned.
Regulus broke.
It was quiet at first, one startled breath escaping him.
Then he laughed.
It was soft and bright and genuine, his head tipping down towards Artemis as his shoulders shook. The coldness vanished from his face. He looked young, pleased and impossibly fond.
James stared.
So did nearly everyone else.
Regulus pulled Artemis back against his chest.
“Oh, you wicked girl,” he whispered, still smiling. “You are so clever.”
Barty rubbed his nose.
“She assaulted me.”
“She touched you.”
“She shoved my face.”
“She was expressing herself.”
“With violence.”
“You understand violence.”
“That is not the point.”
Regulus kissed Artemis repeatedly across the face.
One cheek.
Her forehead.
The bridge of her nose.
The top of her head.
The other cheek.
Artemis closed her eyes and leaned into every kiss.
“My perfect little angel,” Regulus murmured. “My beautiful baby. Papa’s clever girl.”
James leaned forward.
“I want that.”
Regulus looked at him over Artemis’s head.
“What?”
James gestured between Regulus and the cat. “That.”
“You want yellow boots?”
Marlene snorted.
James smiled. “I want you to look at me the way you look at her.”
Regulus’s expression immediately returned to its usual blankness.
“No.”
“You didn’t even think about it.”
“I did.”
“For half a second.”
“That was generous.”
James pressed one hand to his chest.
“You wound me.”
“You recover quickly.”
“I might not.”
“You always do.”
“What if I need comforting?”
Regulus looked down at Artemis. “Then find a cat.”
“I found you.”
Regulus paused.
James grinned.
Regulus looked away, though the faint colour returned to his ears.
Sirius pointed at James. “Stop doing that.”
“Doing what?”
“Whatever that is.”
“Flirting?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“That’s my brother.”
“I know.”
“You say that like it improves things.”
“It does.”
“Potter.”
“Black.”
“There are two Blacks here.”
“I’m looking at the prettier one.”
Sirius opened his mouth.
Then stopped.
He looked at Artemis.
Artemis stared back.
Sirius’s face twisted. “I don’t know whether you mean Regulus or the cat.”
James smiled. “Exactly.”
Regulus rolled his eyes so hard that his entire head tilted.
The professor struck the desk again.
“This is the final warning.”
Everyone quietened.
The professor looked at Artemis.
Artemis, now comfortably settled in Regulus’s lap, looked back.
“Your cat is to remain silent.”
Regulus stroked her head. “She will.”
“And she is to remain at your desk.”
“She will.”
“And there will be no more boots.”
Regulus looked down at the four yellow crocheted booties.
His face became offended.
“They protect her paws.”
“She is sitting on your lap.”
“The desk edge could be sharp.”
“The desk is nowhere near her feet.”
“You cannot know what may happen.”
The professor’s eye twitched.
“Fine. Keep the boots.”
Regulus nodded. “Thank you.”
Barty stared at him. “You said that like you were being reasonable.”
“I am reasonable.”
“No one here believes that.”
Alice raised one hand slightly. “I do.”
Frank nodded. “He did seem concerned about her paws.”
Barty looked betrayed again.
“You are all falling for it.”
“For what?” Peter asked.
“The act.”
Regulus looked down at Artemis. “He thinks our love is an act.”
Artemis gave a sorrowful little chirp.
Barty shot to his feet.
“No. Absolutely not. Do not start crying again.”
The professor pointed at his chair. “Sit down, Mr Crouch.”
“She is doing it deliberately!”
“Sit.”
“She knows exactly what she is—”
“Sit.”
Barty sat.
Artemis curled into Regulus’s lap and closed her eyes.
Within moments, she was purring.
Regulus stroked her in slow, gentle motions, his fingers disappearing into the white fur.
The lesson resumed.
For a while, the room remained almost peaceful.
Quills scratched against parchment.
The professor spoke.
Regulus copied notes with one hand while continuing to pet Artemis with the other.
Every so often, he glanced down to check on her.
Each time, his expression softened.
James noticed every single one.
Eventually, Regulus felt his stare.
He looked up.
“What?”
James was smiling.
“You’re lovely.”
Regulus blinked once. “No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“You are.”
“I brought a cat into class, lied about her separation anxiety and made her cry so the professor would let her stay.”
The professor stopped speaking.
Everyone looked at Regulus.
Regulus went still.
Artemis opened one eye.
Barty slowly rose halfway from his seat, vindication flooding his face.
“You admit it.”
Regulus stared ahead.
“I misspoke.”
“You admit she was acting!”
“I do not.”
“You just said—”
“I said nothing.”
“You said everything!”
“I heard nothing,” Evan said.
“Neither did I,” Dorcas added.
Pandora smiled. “Artemis has separation anxiety.”
Barty looked around wildly. “You all heard him!”
Fabian shook his head. “Can’t say I did.”
“Strange ringing in my ears,” Gideon said.
Peter looked down. “I was writing.”
Remus turned a page. “You may have imagined it.”
Lily’s mouth twitched. “That happens when people become overly fixated.”
Mary nodded solemnly. “Cat jealousy.”
Marlene added, “Terrible condition.”
Alice stroked Artemis’s tail where it had spilled over the side of Regulus’s chair. “She does seem very attached to him.”
Frank nodded. “And she was crying.”
“She was acting!” Barty shouted.
The professor lifted one hand.
Barty stopped.
The professor stared at Regulus.
Regulus stared back.
Artemis opened her other eye and joined him.
The professor looked between their matching pale eyes and matching blank expressions.
Then they turned towards the board.
“I did not hear anything.”
Barty collapsed back into his chair.
James laughed softly.
Regulus looked smug.
“You are evil,” James whispered.
Regulus scratched gently behind Artemis’s ear.
“She is my baby.”
“She’s evil too.”
Artemis’s eyes closed again.
James leaned nearer.
“But she is adorable.”
Regulus looked at him.
“And so are you.”
Regulus ignored him.
Mostly.
The corner of his mouth lifted as he bent to press another kiss between Artemis’s ears.
James saw it.
So did Artemis.
Her tail curled smugly around Regulus’s wrist.
Across the desk, Barty watched them both with narrowed eyes.
“I still hate that cat.”
Without opening her eyes, Artemis extended one yellow-booted paw and pushed his ink bottle over.