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In hind sight, Buck really should have agreed with Bobby and told people that he had more issues after the bombing than just his leg. Bobby had seen the medical records, but when he’d looked ready to hold Buck back for a second time, to keep him as the man behind, Buck told him he’d lose his job for refusing work based on his new disability. It would be worse discrimination than just holding him back because of hurt feelings.
The point was, he should have told someone he was disabled. That he required hearing aids to be able to hear. After he got them he grew his hair out for the first time in years, but no one had questioned him about it. Hen, Chimney, and Eddie had lived with him during COVID, for a good seven months, and none of them noticed or caught on. They just seemed to think he was letting his hair grow rather than trust Chimney to cut it for him, which was slightly true too. Eddie knew he was proficient in ASL and actually did some classes and picked it up, too, thinking it was a fixation Buck had, not a necessity. Even Christopher was getting into the lessons when they did video calls together when they couldn’t actually be together. The kid was so quick at picking it up that Eddie often cheered and celebrated (not that Buck was any better).
“What have we here?” Buck froze when the guard that definitely wasn’t a guard, tapped Buck’s ear with the muzzle of the gun he held aimed at Buck. “Huh. Never would have thought they’d let a disability like that be allowed for one of your kind.”
“What-”
“Pull off here.” The guy in the back directed, cutting off Eddie’s question. Buck pulled over and shut the ambulance off, climbing out when the gun stayed pointed on him. The guy from the front took Buck’s turnout coat and tossed it in the cab before forcing him to walk to the back where Eddie was experiencing the same treatment. “Show me.” The other guy said, looking at the other guard, somewhat ignoring Eddie, but not really.
“Easy to miss with all the curly hair, but I’ve seen these kind before.” The guy who’d ridden up front reached out and Buck tried to duck away but the other guy put an arm around Buck’s neck, trapping his hands and holding him in place while pointing his gun at Eddie.
“Don’t fucking touch-” Buck grunted before one of them got his hearing aids out, one after the other, and held them in his palm. Cutting off Buck’s ability to hear entirely. Buck could feel the vibrations of the guy holding him saying something, but couldn’t hear a word of it. Eddie looked at what was in the guys’ palm, his eyes going wide, before the guy tipped it and let the hearing aids fall to the ground. Buck moved to try to get them, and even Eddie jerked like he was going to before the dick stomped on them. “You’re so fucking stupid.” Buck breathed heavily, “I’m literally dead weight to you now.” The guy who had an arm around him shoved him at Eddie, and of course Eddie caught him. Eddie held his face and looked at his ears, even though Buck tried to push him away. “They didn’t hurt me.”
“Don’t give me attitude.” Eddie signed while speaking once he let go of Buck’s face. “What can you register? Murmurs? Low tones? Static?”
“Static or nothing.” Buck signed while speaking. “Ringing sometimes. I can feel the vibrations if I’m close enough to at least know someone is trying to talk.”
“Follow my lead, ok?” Eddie signed, giving him a strict look. “Eyes on me, stay focused on me.” Buck nodded and couldn’t help standing closer to Eddie, their shoulders pressed together. Buck didn’t really pay attention to the men, trying to focus solely on Eddie, but he wasn’t great at lip reading. Especially when Eddie wasn’t looking at him. He didn’t know what all was talked about, he honestly didn’t care and just wanted to get back to his bag at the station and dig out his backup aids.
Eddie put a hand on his back and guided him back into the ambulance when some sort of decision was made. He made Buck sit at the patients’ head, that way he could see Eddie better and be able to communicate with him. Eddie signed occasionally, telling Buck what supply they needed, so Buck would grab it and pass it to Eddie while they drove. He hated not knowing what was going on while there were men with guns taking them hostage, essentially. When the ambulance stopped, Buck was hoping the trip was over.
“They want you to take the patient inside.” Eddie signed.
“What?” Buck frowned. “I’m going to be zero help, I can’t pass shit off, I can’t answer questions, I can’t do anything but literally walk them inside.”
“I wrote out what I could.” Eddie held up a clipboard and set it next to the patient before focusing on Buck to sign again. “Someone should be inside, Athena possibly, she’ll keep you safe until I can get there.”
“I need Bobby.” Buck said a little frantically. “Bobby’s the only one who knows.”
“Try to trust Athena with this. If you can’t trust anyone, just stay out of the way. Make sure they know you aren’t being difficult by signing.” Eddie signed, giving Buck a stern look. “Get the patient inside, I’ll be there shortly.”
“You better fucking be.” Buck grumbled, standing up and getting out with the patient and the other guard. Buck frowned when he got inside the ER and it was empty. It didn’t take long to figure out why, though. Both him and the guard were tackled by police before Buck was pulled to his feet and Athena was pushing the officers away from him. Buck couldn’t do anything but stay in the corner of the waiting room he was moved to once the fake guard and patient were dealt with. He paced around and tried not to fidget, but he was pretty sure it didn’t work. He hated being around so many other people and not being able to hear.
Buck was tugging at his hair when Eddie was suddenly there and stopping him. Buck let out a heavy breath and practically jumped on him. He could feel Eddie maybe laughing a little, and probably saying something, but he already knew Buck wouldn’t hear him. When he backed up, Eddie looked Buck over again, before deciding he must be fine. It took a little while, but they were eventually cleared to take the ambulance back to the firehouse. Eddie had been telling Buck by signing so he knew what was happening. As soon as some of the officers saw, Eddie ended up being their interpreter so they could talk to Buck and get his statement.
Buck climbed in the passenger seat of their cleared ambulance and Eddie got behind the wheel. He knew Eddie was watching him out of the side of his eyes occasionally, but Buck wasn’t going to try to talk. Not when he couldn’t gauge the volume of his own voice in the small space and definitely wouldn’t hear Eddie’s response. As soon as they were parked in the bay again, Buck let out a breath of relief. He turned his head to find Eddie watching him already.
“My spares are in my bag.” Buck said while signing.
“Want me to get them?” Eddie signed. “You can shower off the feel of those assholes harassing you.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Buck nodded while he signed. “Blue case. You’ll probably know what they are when you find them.”
“I will.” Eddie grinned as he signed. They both took another breath before getting out. Buck grabbed his towel and shower things and went straight to the showers, trusting Eddie to find his aids. The shower felt amazing, actually. When he was done he looked over his ears as much as he could, knowing they weren’t actually injured but just making sure.
He got dressed quickly but not quick enough to avoid anyone else ending up in the locker room. Buck felt like he nearly jumped out of his skin when he was dressed and turned and found Ravi standing at his locker, and Hen standing a little ways down from him. Both of them gave him confused looks and their lips were moving, so he knew they were talking, but then Eddie was there and stepping between them so Buck wouldn’t have too much time to freak out (only a little time). He quickly took the aids out of the case and turned them on as he put them in his ears, only no one was saying anything.
“Good?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah, thanks.” Buck said, sighing in relief at being able to hear again.
“I’m so confused.” Ravi said, looking between them and the case Eddie was already stashing in Buck’s bag.
“That makes two of us.” Hen agreed.
“Buck.” Bobby called, and Buck turned and his shoulders finally dropped as Bobby stepped in and pulled him into a hug. “It scared the crap out of me not being able to be nearby.”
“I’m fine.” Buck croaked, nodding against Bobby’s shoulder. “But they- the fake guards- actually, what all happened?”
“Why don’t we go upstairs and have a snack and debrief each other before we head out?” Bobby offered, keeping an arm around Buck before facing the others. “My treat, and Buck can explain whatever he’s comfortable explaining.”
“He doesn’t have to-”
“It’s ok.” Buck cut Eddie off with a small smile. “It’s been years now. We’ll eat, talk, and then go home and try to de-stress because today completely sucked.”
“Agreed.” Ravi, Bobby, and Hen nodded. It didn’t take long for everyone to get up to the kitchen, Bobby constantly looking at Buck like he was afraid he’d disappear or something. Eddie was glued to his side, which was fine, Buck was glad to have the physical reassurance that Eddie was there.
“So I guess growing the hair out wasn’t because you wanted to fluster people with those adorable curls on calls after all.” Hen said, giving him a smile.
“Nah, I just …” Buck sighed and tugged a hand through his still slightly damp hair, “honestly I thought it’d be easier and maybe better with hiding them. I mean, not many people actually look at people’s ears right away to see if the person has a hearing aid or not. And I don’t have piercings to draw attention, so growing it out just seemed … it’s what I needed. I wasn’t comfortable with them at first, with the idea anyone could look and just know. Everyone was so freaked out about everything else with my recovery, I didn’t want to make it worse by telling anyone I’d lost one of my senses instead of my leg.”
“Except that wasn’t part of your lawsuit.” Hen pointed out.
“No.” Buck shook his head and looked at Bobby.
“If it had been, most of us aside from you, Hen, would have been out of a job or even on probation. Just because the lawyer said a lot that we didn’t want to hear, didn’t mean that he was wrong. Buck and I talked afterwards. When I was keeping him as man behind for so long. He told me what I was doing was wrong and could be a huge case for discrimination and showed me all his test results and letters from the doctors and even from the academy. He did a lot of leg work to be able to prove that he could still do the job. But he didn’t have to actually tell anyone else that he had an impairment that required an aid of any kind.” Bobby explained. “As captain, I was the only one who needed to know. And I promised Buck I would support him whenever he felt ready enough to share.”
“So what happened with you guys at the prison?” Eddie asked, changing the subject slightly.
“A riot. A full on riot that left us trapped in the infirmary for a bit. Hen ended up having to be the doctor since the doc that was there had his hand injured enough that he couldn’t perform any emergency procedures. We came up with a plan to release nitrous into the air vents.” Bobby sighed. “Anyway, we had to sort of divide and conquer. Ravi got the worst job just because he wasn’t medically trained enough to help Hen, nor did he know how to rig up the nitrous so it went into the ventilation system. He dressed as a prisoner and had the key from the guard and went and got the ventilation system rebooted and running again to basically gas everyone out so the new guards could come in and get everyone back in their cells.”
“I was so close to pissing myself.” Ravi admitted, looking a little haunted. “I’d rather work a thousand MVAs. Or like, do another dozen incidents involving a chainsaw again.”
“What about you guys?” Bobby asked, looking between Buck and Eddie.
“One of the fake guards pulled a gun on me when we were maybe three miles from the prison.” Buck admitted. “Eddie was busy with the patient who ended up being one of the actual guards, but he knew something was wrong as soon as I was forced to turn off the sirens. That’s- uh, that’s when the guy saw them. Or saw one. My hearing aid.” Buck tapped his right ear. “As soon as we were pulled over, the other guy pointed his gun at Eddie and basically put me in a headlock while the other asshole took my hearing aids out and just fucking stomped on them.”
“I didn’t know what they were doing until the guy was tipping his hand over and they were falling to the ground.” Eddie said disappointedly. “I couldn’t just rush them and risk either getting shot or having them hurt Buck. Luckily I already knew ASL since me and Chris learned over COVID, not realizing we needed to know it to talk to Buck when he didn’t have his hearing aids in, instead of because he’d just thought it would be fun to know. One of the guys was basically using this whole scheme as a very elaborate suicide plan. His son was dying, needed a new heart but he wasn’t very high on the recipient list. Athena found a way to be able to make it happen, so long as the kid never found out the heart he got was his dads. He shot himself as soon as she called and gave us the update.”
“You talked to her?” Buck frowned. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“She called Trent, the guy who orchestrated everything, and he threatened to shoot you if I told you what was going on.” Eddie said irritatedly. “He knew ASL enough to know when I was asking for supplies, so I couldn’t risk telling you anything. There were too many ways that could go wrong. If he shot you, there would be no way for you to hear me trying to reassure you or ask anything. We’d be screwed, because I’d need my hands to treat you and also to talk to you since they already destroyed your way to hear me. When we got to the hospital, they said Buck had to take the patient inside. Again, he said if I didn’t get Buck to go inside, they’d shoot him. Him leaving with the other inmate was really difficult. Thought I was gonna have a panic attack as soon as the doors were shut again and he was out of my line of sight.”
“I was so freaked out when we got inside and no one was there. Got tackled, so that helped. Athena got the officers there to leave me alone and just moved me to a corner of the waiting room while they took care of the other guy. I couldn’t really process anything again until Eddie was there and stopped me from pulling my hair out in frustration that no one could tell me anything. He ended up being stuck as my translator so I could answer the questions the officers had been trying to ask me that I never heard. Anyway, then we got here and Eddie said he could get my backups out of my bag while I tried to shower and not feel so violated and overwhelmed.”
“Tried to get there before everyone else got in, but ran to make sure they were charged.” Eddie said softly.
“They’re my backups, so they’re almost always charged.” Buck shrugged. “When we have longer shifts I have to have both sets because they only last long enough to get through about 18 hours.”
“Less.” Bobby argued. “Last 24 you only got about 14 before you had to switch.”
“Yeah, I needed a new set before that dick went and crushed them anyway, so I guess it isn’t a complete loss.” Buck wobbled his head. “I, uh, for the record, I can’t hear anything if I don’t have them in. Like at all. So if you say something and I don’t respond, make sure I can see you. I can read lips a little, if you don’t know any ASL, but I have to be looking at you and you have to be looking at me directly.”
“If he’s in my office, it’s usually because he needs a break.” Bobby added. “We take precautions when he has bad days, same with his leg, with feeling pain or a headache caused by having to hear instead of sitting in silence with an ice or heat pack.”
“Only Bobby knew.” Eddie said carefully.
“Eddie.” Buck said, warning him not to bring up what Buck knew he was going to bring up.
“You didn’t even hear him come in, did you? Or what he actually said to you?” Eddie pushed.
“I have the video from the security system I can listen to if I want, but I don’t need it. The message was clear enough without sound.” Buck said as firmly as he could.
“What are we talking about?” Ravi asked, looking a little nervously between them.
“This.” Eddie snatched Buck’s phone out of his hand and navigated to the security file from when Chimney came over after the blackout. He pushed play and set the phone so Hen and Ravi could watch. Bobby had already seen it, because Eddie had forwarded it to him when he saw Buck’s black eye. Hen actually gasped and covered her mouth when it happened in the video. “I kept trying to figure out,” Eddie stated as he picked Buck’s phone up again and locked it, “why you didn’t say anything or reply, why you just let him be a dick and then leave. But it’s because you didn’t have your hearing aids in so you didn’t know he was there at first, and then you didn’t feel comfortable asking him to wait a minute so you could get them.”
“They were on the charger on the counter.” Buck sighed. “He was already a mess, and if he found out that Maddie doesn’t even know I have a disability- it wouldn’t have helped. I don’t know what he was talking about, all I know was Maddie left me a voicemail that said she needed to leave to get some help and to make sure we were all there for her partner.”
“I,” Hen said, turning to face Eddie who gave her a confused look, “would be willing to pay for a video of Christopher learning about Buck’s hearing aids. I want to know if that kid makes it emotional and uplifting or if he’s a sarcastic brat like his daddy.”
“Ha!” Buck laughed while Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Buck’s staying with us tonight, so we’ll do a video reveal or something later.” Eddie agreed. “I’ll send it to you three and you can tell me what you make of it.”
“You’ll send it to all of us.” Athena said, surprising them as she reached the loft. “Here I thought it’d be another few months, at least, before anyone found out.”
“Of course you figured it out.” Buck snorted. “How long have you known?”
“I knew when your parents showed up.” Athena shrugged. “So not as long as I should have. But I saw you and Bobby signing a bit frantically at each other after that big warehouse fire, and I saw how he looked over your ears and made sure you were ok. He was checking to see if they melted.”
“They didn’t, not really. Or not entirely.” Buck wobbled his head. “I mean, it was close, and I had to get a new set, but they didn’t melt out of my ears thankfully.”
“Hearing aids aren’t cheap.” Ravi stated with a frown. “How are you able to afford getting new ones so frequently?”
“Good insurance.” Buck shrugged. “And having a good friend that knows how to work the medical system like it’s nobody’s business and is kind enough not to ask questions even though she can tell I’m purposely not saying why I needed her help.”
“Carla.” Eddie said with a sigh and small huff of a laugh. “Of course. She was probably one of the first to figure it out.”
“I’m honestly surprised that none of you figured it out on your own.” Buck said, pointing between everyone. “I lost one of my aids during the tsunami, so I only had one that was in and even kind of working by the time I found you all. I had to order new ones while I was watching Chris and using my backups. The company I use is pretty fascinated by how much work I put them through.”
“Probably helps them make improvements they never thought of so they can market to a younger more active crowd, not to mention intense work environments.” Hen nodded understandingly.
“I know this is … kind of a shock. But you can’t let it affect how we work together. I’ve been fine a majority of the time. And when I’m not, Bobby lets me just hang out in the office without them in so I can recenter. That or he sends me home. Which has only happened once.” Buck stated. “I can still do this job, that hasn’t changed.”
“I mean, it’ll be a lot more helpful knowing that we have people fluent in ASL on calls in case we need someone.” Hen pointed out. “We already use either of you for Spanish, so now we can use you for your skills in signing as well.”
“Eddie-”
“Your Spanish is ridiculous.” Eddie cut Buck off, earning light laughs from everyone else. “Your accents are all slightly off, and I know it’s because South American Spanish is slightly different from Mexican Spanish, but still. It would be fine if your Pennsylvania would stay out of it.”
“I do fine when we talk at your house or with any of your family, but get me in an emergency and it goes back to that stupid accent I can’t get rid of.” Buck groaned.
“It’s not stupid, and it makes the people we talk to laugh and smile.” Eddie argued. “I will always think it’s ridiculous that it happens. It’s like when you’re nervous and start rambling about whatever reddit or google wormhole you fell into. It helps the patients relax, it just also makes it almost impossible for me to get anything done because I can’t stop laughing. Like when we had that one call with all the clowns and nitrous tanks and we were both laughing about the way everyone else’s voices sounded.”
“On that note, everyone should get home.” Bobby said, standing up. They’d only had sandwiches, so it wasn’t a lot to clean up for dishes, but Buck definitely wanted to go home and crash. “Buck, I better hear from you in no more than 10 hours or I’m tracking you on our phones if Athena doesn’t do it before then and physically come check on you herself.”
“You know I will, too.” Athena agreed.
“Yeah, I know.” Buck snorted. “Eddie will probably harass me about calling or texting you anyway.”
“He’ll be at my place, so that should be easy enough.” Eddie said, standing up with everyone else.
“Not gonna argue, Buck?” Ravi asked, looking curious.
“We went through a lot of shit today.” Buck said carefully. “If we go back to our separate places, we’ll both be too anxious to get any actual rest, and if we do manage to get to sleep, we’ll wake up in a panic and call. Only I would have to get my hearing aids in before I could even hear what Eddie may or may not be worrying about, and if I don’t answer, he’ll come over and there’s every chance I’ll be trying to head over to his place anyway. It’ll just be easier if we cut out all the middle work and stress and just crash in the same place.”
“If you need a place to crash with people around who went through a shitty day like you did, you’re welcome to come take up the couch.” Eddie offered, looking at Ravi. “I mean, I don’t know what kind of mansion you might be used to-”
“Fuck off.” Ravi said, laughing as Eddie grinned.
“Just saying mister landlord, might not be up to your standards.” Eddie shrugged.
“You know what, just to get a front row seat for Christopher learning about Buck’s hearing aids, I’m coming over. I want to see how excited that kid gets that his Buck has to deal with things differently, kinda like he does. And if you record me crying or anything, I’m gonna retaliate.” Ravi said certainly.
“Works for me.” Eddie laughed. “Get your shit, and let’s go. Buck, you’re riding with me.”
“Yeah, I know.” Buck snorted, heading for the locker room to get his bag.
As soon as they were back at Eddie’s house, Ravi face-planted on the couch, barely managing to wave when Eddie dropped a pillow and blanket on him before they went to the bedroom. Buck yawned so big that his jaw cracked. He took his hearing aids out when he flopped on the bed. He could see Eddie smiling, so he might have been laughing. Buck was too tired to care and just snuggled further into the bed and passed out. He felt Eddie’s hand settle in the middle of his back, which only made him melt more from the steady pressure.
When Buck woke up, he was alone in bed, which he expected. His hearing aids weren’t beside the bed, which meant Eddie must have taken them to plug them in to make sure they were charged, even if he’d only worn them for a little while and they should still be plenty charged. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as much as he could and went to use the bathroom before looking for anyone else. He found Ravi barely awake at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him, Chris, working on homework, and Eddie talking to Carla by the counter. It was kinda funny how everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him when he came in. Carla smiled at him and hugged him before handing him a new green case. He opened it and found a new pair of hearing aids, but they were over the ear ones, which meant they’d be more noticeable. They were a sort of tortoiseshell color, so they’d actually blend in with his hair really well. He put them in and turned them on, Carla looking them over to make sure they fit right.
“These were on backorder, so when Eddie called to tell me what happened, and these finally showed up, I figured it was serendipitous timing.” Carla said with a soft smile. “How do they feel?”
“Good.” Buck nodded. “I mean, I’ll have to give it a couple days since I haven’t done the over the ear ones before, but yeah. So far they feel fine.”
“You’ll let me know if that changes.” Carla said sternly.
“Of course.” Buck agreed. “Thanks for doing all this for me and not asking a lot of questions.”
“Don’t thank me for understanding that you weren’t ready to talk about being disabled because of a traumatic accident. It’s a lot to deal with. I knew you’d talk when you were ready.” She gave him a quick hug. “On that note, be good everyone, and I’ll see you tomorrow, Christopher.”
“Bye Carla.” Buck, Chris, and Eddie called. Then Eddie was looking him over, checking the aids himself before pushing Buck to sit at the table.
“Can I see them?” Chris asked curiously.
“Just be gentle, mijo.” Eddie said, kissing Chris’ head.
“They match your hair.” Chris said, touching Buck’s curls instead of his ears. “Were you scared to tell me?”
“No.” Buck shook his head lightly, not dislodging Chris’ hand. “I was just scared to say it out loud, at first. It took me a while to understand that it wasn’t anything to be scared about. If you aren’t scared not being able to see without your glasses, then I shouldn’t be scared not being able to hear without hearing aids. Right?”
“And how long did it take you to figure that out?” Chris asked with a crooked grin. “Between me, dad, and you, we make up those three monkeys doing the whole, hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. Because dad’s face says a bunch that he never says out loud.”
“It does.” Buck said, snickering as he glanced at Eddie who gave them both an exasperated look behind his phone that was definitely recording them. “Take your glasses away and you can’t see it, take my hearing aids away and I can’t hear it, but I don’t think we can tone down your dad’s thoughts coming out through his face.”
“You’re both ridiculous.” Eddie huffed, making them laugh a little more.
“Yeah, now say that without hearts in your eyes.” Ravi muttered, making Chris laugh again.
“Dad just likes when our whole family is together.” Chris said, still smiling. “With Buck here, we have everyone again.”
“Yeah, yeah, now finish that up while Buck calls Bobby and Athena so they know he’s up and doing ok.” Eddie huffed, typing on his phone already. Probably sending the video to Hen or the group chat they all had.
Buck got a quick hug from Chris and a fist bump from Ravi before going to the living room to call Bobby. He did a video call so he could show Bobby and Athena his new aids and get them to relax a little. Ravi stuck around to have dinner with them and play some video games with Chris. Apparently the kid was a balm for all of them, because hearing him laugh and harass them about how bad they were was perfect. Ravi went home when Chris was going to bed, promising to call if he had any issues.
Buck knew he waited way too long to tell anyone about his hearing, but it actually didn’t turn out too bad. It was better than he’d expected, really. Everyone was supportive and helpful instead of telling him he couldn’t do his job anymore or that what he was doing while disabled affected them too much to be able to work with him. He knew his worry and hesitation wasn’t unfounded, based on everything that happened, but he also felt relieved having finally told everyone. And it felt good being able to get up in the morning and have Eddie and Chris signing with him now that they knew he was doing it for a reason and not just for a fixation.