Chapter Text
The alien, Rocky had repeated countless times (despite the fact that Adrian perfectly remembered their first proclamation), was not currently an accurate representation of themself or their species.
Adrian found this difficult to believe; even emaciated creatures, though weakened and sickly, retained the core features of their kind. And the alien—Grace, Rocky had named them—had all that Adrian would describe as the core features of a Human. Four limbs, a fleshed-exterior, organs curled around an endo-skeleton, and various exterior embellishments of keratin and calcium.
According to Rocky, Grace’s appearance to Adrian’s senses was drastically different to how the alien had been during first contact. Grace’s limbs now lacked several centimeters of fat and muscle, their ‘hair’ had gone patchy and brittle, their ‘teeth’ were loosened and fewer in number, and the scarred flesh on their arm and shoulder should have been whole and healed, rather than a weeping open (reopened) wound.
Adrian had promised to keep this in mind, and they did their best to project their mate’s description onto their expectations, over the picture audible to them on the other side of the medical ward’s xenonite walls. It was painfully clear to them that Rocky wanted them to have a positive opinion towards the Human.
Rocky had come back a changed person, in many different ways. Gone were many of the behaviors and quirks that Adrian associated with happier, simpler times; in their place were mood swings and sharp reactions outlined in painful, medical detail by several psychologists and neurology specialists, with whom Adrian had been required to consult.
Rocky was traumatized. Adrian was sure the same could be said for themself—from the years of suffering alone, believing their mate dead and their planet doomed. But they spared little energy for that, because compared to Rocky…oh, Adrian could hardly even imagine.
The time alone. Twenty-two dead, to a silent, undetectable killer. The pressure of the mission, on Rocky who was an engineer, not an astronomer or a biologist or even a scientist at all. The fate of Erid in their hands. And then the life-changing experience of first contact with sentient, intelligent alien life.
It was the sort of life-altering experience that Adrian could not even comprehend. Yet somehow, Rocky had done the impossible. They had survived, persevered, and returned home, bringing with them the means to save their star and planet, and an alien.
Grace.
This was the first time Adrian had been allowed to actually meet them, to listen. They were only here at all, so soon, because Rocky had thrown around their new Savior privileges liberally—and it had been important to Rocky that they meet. That Adrian met Grace.
Rocky had come back a changed person, but there was an aspect of their personality that had obviously stayed fixed, an aspect Adrian had always loved; Rocky was devoted. Rocky loved so hard that it consumed them. Rocky loved like it was an obsession, like it was fresh air against their vents, like they would go hyperthermic without it.
‘There appears to be a real risk,’ said Psychologist Prime, tapping a stylus against their tablet in an idle way that frayed at the edge of Adrian’s sore nerves, ‘That should Alien Human-from-Earth-of-Sol Asylum-seeker Savior-of-Erid Grace perish, then your mate Savior Rocky may experience a radical and potentially fatal decline in physiological and psychological health.’
‘...I see,’ said Adrian. With exceptional calmness.
‘This is less likely, with you there as support,” Psychologist Prime assured, like this was any sort of comfort.
Adrian decided they hated the Psychologist Prime.
Adrian had felt the full force of Rocky’s love when they reunited, as Rocky threw themself against their carapace, wailing and clinging like they would die if something dared separate them again.
They heard it now in every anxious tap of Rocky’s finger against the wall, listening for the countless signs of life in the human’s body. There was no doubt in Adrian’s mind that Rocky loved Grace.
“...well?” said Rocky nervously, their soft tapping never ceasing in its rhythm. “What do you think of them?”
“I think they are as disgusting as you warned me they would be,” Adrian admitted. Rocky tittered out a strained laugh, a mixed nuance of amusement-terror-anxiety-hopefulness-disapointment.
“It takes adjusting,” Rocky said quickly, an obvious attempt to reassure. “With time, the disgust fades.”
“I am sure it does,” agreed Adrian. They leaned their weight back, lifting their forelegs to tap their hands together, studying Grace further. Blood circulated through its body; weak organs and muscles strained to complete their tasks. Stuttering sacks of flesh—the ‘lungs’—shakily sucked in the oxygen provided by their artificial environment and the multitude of tubes connected to their body.
Adrian was familiar with creatures that were sick, injured, and dying. Rocky’s alien friend was all three.
“All this is from starvation?” Adrian asked, allowing their legs to drop back to the floor.
“Yes.” Rocky sunk low, letting out a mournful trill. “I could not share our food. It is poisonous to Humans, and Grace could not figure out a way to separate the poison from the nutrients. The Star-Killer-Predator provided energy, but no nutritional value. It is junk food.”
‘Junk food.’ Adrian noticed these moments more and more, where Rocky would string together words they had never before heard used in such a combination. It was transliteration of Human verbage, they had concluded. This one, at least, appeared self explanatory. The Star-Killer-Predator was to food as junk was to the objects it once had been; rendered useless.
“...I know you do not want to hear it, mate of mine,” said Adrian carefully. Within the cell, the Human twitched in their sleep—another thing disturbingly alien. Sleep did not render them paralyzed. “But Savior Grace may not survive, despite the efforts of the greatest minds on Erid.”
“I know.” Rocky’s voice was so low it almost escaped Adrian’s range of hearing. “You may think that I do not, but I know.”
“I do not wish for that reality, but we cannot deny its possibility."
“Everyone walks on eggshells around me,” Rocky growled. Adrian paused, tilting their larger form slightly towards their mate. “I am aware Grace is dying, Adrian. I am more aware than anyone here. I have watched them die for years. I have watched them change and decay, helpless to do fucking anything. I am so painfully aware of just how much their fate is out of my hands. All I can do is watch and hope. It makes me feel like I am going to boil alive.”
“Apologies,” Adrian murmured, shifting closer. Rocky hesitated for only a moment, and then allowed Adrian to tuck themself securely against their side. “I did not say that to deny your intelligence or agency. To speak plainly…I am afraid that if Savior Grace dies, then you will die too, Rocky.”
“I would not leave you like that,” Rocky murmured. “Adrian—I would not. Not after how you have waited. Not after how I have waited.”
“My logical side has faith in you,” admitted Adrian. “...my emotional side is terrified that your heart and mind may shatter.”
“I have shattered already.” Rocky’s words, so matter of fact and grim, drew a painful sound from deep within Adrian’s core. Guiltily, Rocky pressed closer to their carapace. “It is true. Aboard the Ship…as one by one my friends fell still. I was sure I was going to die. And I was sure that because we were lost, you would die too, along with Erid. I broke beyond repair.” Rocky smoothed a slow, trembling hand down their front, fingers catching on the threads of their sweater. “You cannot see it, but I am destroyed, Adrian. I am just…cracks and glue. I hardly know myself anymore.”
Adrian found themself speechless. Helpless to comfort their mate, helpless to offer anything of substance, they let out a mournful trill, two of their arms reaching out to cling to Rocky’s nearest limb, clutching it. Rocky pet them in return, their skillful fingers delicately soothing the shape of their mating crest, embedded in Adrian’s arm.
“...I know Grace may die,” Rocky softly repeated. “And even if they live now…Human lives are so short, Adrian. I cannot believe how short their lives are. λIVℓ years—that’s an average lifespan.”
“Oh,” said Adrian, stunned.
Rocky let out a miserable warble of agreement before they continued, “But they are my friend. Grace is my best friend. I love them so much. And I can’t help but think—doesn’t the universe owe me this? Just this one thing?” Their voice wavered, betraying their preemptive grief. “Grace must live. They have to live. It is my right. After everything, everything—I am owed this. I deserve to have this.”
And with that, Rocky dissolved. Adrian clutched Rocky tight, but other than soothing song and a close proximity, they could do nothing but watch their mate cry, overwhelmed with the weight and destruction left in the wake of all they had been through.
On the other side of the wall, the alien slept on, oblivious to their presence or to the careful machinations of the robotic arms that tended to their needs. And Adrian found themself in full agreement with Rocky.
After all their mate had been through, they were owed this much.
Rocky was a survivor. No matter what those damn psychologists thought, Adrian was certain now that even if Grace died, Rocky would live on.
But there was a debt to settle, and the universe was the one wracking up the tab.
“I want to sleep here,” said Rocky softly. “Will you stay?”
“Of course.” Adrian had never answered any other way. They would not leave Rocky’s side; far too much time had passed with them apart. They would sit on cold, sterile floors for eternity, if that was what Rocky wished.
“Will you watch Grace too?” It was a small, plaintive request. Adrian considered the alien, ever-present at the edge of their senses even when their focus was elsewhere. A repulsive, tragic puddle of flesh and dwindling health. A creature that carried Rocky’s heart.
“Of course,” Adrian repeated. “Let’s find somewhere to sit. I will not have you sleep on the floor.”
“And I’m the bossy one,” Rocky grumbled to themself, as though they were not perfectly audible due to the fact that they were hiding most of their body beneath Adrian’s.
Goodness, but did Adrian love them.