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Izuku unlocked the door to his studio apartment. He removed his shoes and coat in the genkan and placed his keys in the bowl on the shelf. He trudged his way to the couch and set his bag on the coffee table that was littered with take-out containers, beer cans and bottles, and sighed. He grabbed the pack of cigarettes on the table, pulled one out, and placed his palms over the end of the cigarette and lit it. He took a big inhale, letting the nicotine course through his lungs, instantly relieving the stress from the horrible day he had. He exhaled the smoke through his nostrils, not for show, but just a habit that he had picked up. It wasn’t like he was impressing anyone anyways.
“What a day,” he groaned. He leaned forward and ashed the cigarette in the ashtray. He opened his bag and pulled out his laptop, as well as several papers from his class that needed grading. He booted up the laptop and waited for the ancient piece of technology to start up. He grabbed the remote and powered his TV, finding the Pro Hero network channel, something he put on for background noise while he graded papers and created lesson plans.
The studio apartment wasn’t something to boast about; his bed was pushed in the corner of the room. It was decorated with a simple green set of sheets with an embroidered emerald-green comforter. A folded divider stood to the side of the bed, opened all the way to at least give him some sense of privacy in the big room. His burgundy couch was an era from his college days, highly uncomfortable, and he was pretty sure there were springs sprouting out from the bottom of it. The kitchen was small, hardly any counter space, with a tiny gas-powered oven and even smaller refrigerator. He had a few cabinets that hung above his sparce counters, only able to hold a handful of dishes and some pots and pans. His bathroom was down the hall. It contained a tiny tub with a rainfall shower (the most luxurious thing he had in the apartment) a single sink that hung on the wall and a dirty toilet that had seen better days.
Izuku pulled out the answer key from the test his students took earlier that day and began marking the tests with his red pen. He was drifting in and out, occasionally taking a drag from his cigarette, when a sentence from a talk-show host pulled him from his focus of grading tests.
“Welcome back, we’re sitting here with Pro Hero Ground Zero, who is here to give us an exclusive interview and to answer some burning questions from the audience, as well as questions we pulled from twitter.”
Izuku snapped his gaze to the TV, an ash falling from his cigarette onto the hardwood floor. The camera panned to the hero, and Izuku’s face fell.
“Kacchan.” He whispered.
Izuku watched the interview enraptured, his cigarette long abandoned in the ashtray. He watched as Katsuki answered question after question, filling in on the life that Izuku missed out on. On the life that they were supposed to chase together, until Izuku found out he was quirkless and the bullying began.
“This next question comes from twitter from user @Gr8XplosionGod who asks, “what is your biggest regret?””
The camera panned to Katsuki, and Izuku could see Katsuki’s eyebrows furrow, and his mouth was pressed into a thin line. A shadow crossed his face and his jaw tensed. He could almost see the explosive blond grinding his teeth.
“...Tch, my biggest regret huh?” Katsuki started. “It’s not that simple, I have a lot of regrets, and most of them revolve around one person who I bullied when I was a kid, back when I was a shithead.”
Izuku straightened. His body grew rigid. Was Kacchan talking about him?
“So, you were his childhood bully?” The interviewer pointed out.
The camera panned back to Katsuki, and Katsuki let out a deep sigh.
“It wasn’t always like that, he was my best friend at first, had been since we were practically born since our moms were best friends as well. Then he found out he was quirkless and our dreams of being heroes together was shattered in an instant and some stupid part of my brain decided that I should just leave him behind since he was never going to be able to catch up to me”
Izuku’s face fell. His mind flashed back to sitting on that cold chair in the doctor’s office; an x-ray of his foot was displayed on the lit wall. The doctor telling him he would never have a quirk, explaining about the extra bone in his foot that was found in children that never manifested a quirk. He remembered his mom holding him, while he cried asking her if he could still be a hero like All Might, and she just said, “I’m so sorry Izuku” when he just wanted her to tell him he could still be a hero.
Then it was even worse when he told his best friend, and was even more hurt when the bullying started, and Katsuki came up with that horrible nickname.
Izuku snapped out of his thoughts and turned his gaze back to the screen.
“But to answer your previous question, If I had to pinpoint the biggest regret from back then, it would have to be when I fell into the river,” Katsuki confessed.
Izuku’s mind flashed back to then, following behind Kacchan and the other boys who used to bully him. He remembered them marching across a log, when Kacchan lost his footing and fell into the river. Izuku’s heart fell, and he took off running down the hill to his friend, not caring about the mud and water that had filled his shoes and soaked his pants. He just needed to make sure his friend was okay.
Izuku reached for the remote and turned up the volume.
“You fell into a river?” The interviewer asked, a shocked expression on her face.
Katsuki turned his head away and took a big inhale.
“I was six years old, had just discovered my quirk the year before. I was hanging out with some stupid extras and the boy I started bullying, my former best friend. We were chanting something about being members of my agency or some shit, marching across a log that stretched over a river. I lost my footing and fell into the river. I remember being drenched by water, and almost had the wind knocked out of me. I got up onto my hands and knees when I heard a voice speak out to me.”
The interview didn’t say anything, too engrossed to the story that Katsuki was saying.
“It was my former best friend. He was holding out his hand, asking if I was okay.”
Izuku could see the hurt cross Kacchan’s eyes. He inhaled and closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I should have taken his hand, accepted the help from the boy who I used to spend countless hours hanging out with, pretending to be heroes. But I didn’t, in my shitty mind, him offering his hand was like him saying he was better than me, and instead of taking his hand, I smacked his hand away and said I didn’t need help from a Deku, somebody who was useless.”
Izuku could swear he could see tears starting to form in Kacchan’s eyes, and at that moment, he could feel the tears forming in his own eyes as well, haunted by that encounter in the river, where his and Kacchan’s relationship had forever changed, and the true bullying and the beatings started.
The camera panned back to the interviewer; her expression had frozen, disbelief spreading across her face. Her eyebrows had shot upward, and her jaw was hanging slightly open. Izuku could see her trying to form thoughts, trying to form a sentence. Izuku could almost see the color drain from her face.
It was only a few moments before she was finally able to speak.
“You... called him a Deku?” The hurt was evident on her face as she spoke about it, and it almost came out as a whisper.
Katsuki’s body went rigid; his eyes had been cast downward, avoiding the look from the interviewer. His shoulders had curled inward as if he was trying to hide, and Izuku could see the sharp breaths that Kacchan was taking in. The tension clearly evident in his shoulders and the atmosphere in the small studio space.
“It’s one of my biggest regrets, one I wish I could seriously take back, one I wish I could go back in time and fix.”
Izuku sat there, his eyes entranced with the scene on the TV. His heart was beating fast in his chest.
Kacchan regrets it?
The camera pans back to the interviewer. Izuku could see a thought form on her face.
“If that boy was here right now, what would you say to him?”
Izuku could see the shocked expression on Kacchan’s face, taken aback from the question. His eyebrows had lifted in surprise, and his eyes had widened. His lips had parted, looking for an answer that was escaping him. He was blinking rapidly, trying to form a thought. It took him a few moments before he was able to collect himself. He cleared his throat, turned his gaze towards the camera, and spoke directly into it.
“When we were kids, I looked down on you. You were quirkless, someone who should have stayed so far behind me. I didn’t want to accept you as you were, and so I grew distant and started bullying you. I had to bully you, reject you, break you down, so in some twisted way in my head I would feel superior to you. Then you moved away and everything changed. I attended UA and was haunted by all the things I had done and said to you, and I was surrounded by people who were so much better than me. We were supposed to attend UA together, to live our dreams as hereos fighting side-by-side. I wish you were here in front of me so I could say this to your face, Izuku, but I’m so sorry, sorry for everything.”
Izuku’s eyes widened; the breath had been knocked out of him. His eyebrows shot upward, and he stared at the TV in stunned silence. His jaw had gone slack, and he quickly snapped it shut.
Kacchan’s apologizing? Apologizing to ME?
Izuku didn’t pay attention to the TV after that, he only knew that the interview had concluded, and he was left there with the sudden apology left by his former best friend and childhood bully.
He grabbed another cigarette from the pack on the table and quickly lit it. The nicotine hit his lungs, and he let out a long exhale. He kept the cigarette at the edge of his mouth as he pulled out his phone and searched his contacts for his mother’s phone number. He held the phone up to his ears, and he heard it ring several times.
He heard a click on the line, before his mother’s sweet voice settled in his ears.
“Izuku...everything ok?” His mother’s worried tone evident. Izuku never called her out of the blue like this; he usually texted her.
Izuku took the cigarette from his mouth after taking a quick inhale.
Smoke poured out of his nostrils as he answered his mother’s question.
“Sorry to suddenly call you mom, but I have a question.”
He could hear his mom let out a sigh of relief before she answered him.
“What’s your question sweetie?”
Izuku flicked his cigarette over the ashtray, letting the ashes fall. He brought it back up to his mouth and took another quick inhale.
“Do you still have Auntie Mitsuki’s phone number?”
His mom seemed to be startled by the question.
“...Yes” she answered, her voice barely above a whisper. Huh.
Izuku took in a big inhale but let out a shaky breath.
“Can you send it to me, I need to get ahold of her, I have a very important question I need to ask her.” Izuku mumbled out.
“Is this about the interview that Katsuki did?”
Izuku froze. His mother had watched the interview?
“Yes”
“I’ll send you her number so you can get ahold of Katsuki, and Izuku?”
Izuku listened intently to the phone; he could hear the lecture coming.
“...Be careful sweetheart, I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“I will mom, don’t worry.”
And with that, he hung up the phone, and his mom had sent Auntie Mitsuki’s contact information a few seconds later.
__________
After the lengthy phone call with his Aunt Mitsuki, Izuku finally got Kacchan’s contact information. Mitsuki had also warned Izuku to be careful.
His thumb was hovering over the call button. His heart was beating fast, and he was trying to muster up the courage to call him. After several minutes, Izuku quickly hit the call button and brought the phone to his ear. It rang a few times before Izuku heard Kacchan’s threat come through the line.
“Whoever you are, you have five fucking seconds to announce yourself before I hang up the phone.”
Izuku almost chuckled, typical Kacchan.
“Hi Kacchan,” Izuku smiled into the phone.
He heard Kacchan’s breath hitch, and he could imagine the shock on the blonds face at hearing Izuku’s voice.
“...Izuku?” He whispered.
Izuku chuckled into the phone.
“Yeah, it’s me Kacchan”
“H-How did y-you get my n-number" Kacchan stuttered.
“Auntie Mitsuki,” Izuku responded with an amused tone. It was funny hearing Kacchan struggle with words.
“Ugh, fucking hag, she could have at least warned me you would be calling so I could have given you a better greeting”
Izuku smiled.
“I asked her not to; I wanted it to be a surprise”
Izuku could hear Kacchan scoff.
“I’m surprised the old hag could keep her mouth shut, she’s never been one to keep a secret”
Izuku giggled into the phone. He remembered his childhood, at how much of a gossip Auntie Mitsuki was.
“You’re not wrong about that, she always was a gossip”
“...Tch, you’re telling me, should have heard how many people she told that Riot and I were dating because we hung out together so much”
Izuku could feel something in the pit of his stomach. Jealousy? No, that’s ridiculous, Kacchan can date whoever he wants, he shouldn’t be jealous, had no right to be jealous.
“I saw the interview Kacchan”
Izuku could practically feel Kacchan going still on the other end of the line.
“...You did?” He whispered.
“Can you come over? I want to talk to you face-to-face, not over the phone,” Izuku asked.
Kacchan took a sharp breath. Mulling over the question that Izuku asked him.
“Sure nerd, send me your address and I’ll be over after patrol. I get off at 10pm.”
Izuku glanced over at the clock. It was 8 o’clock, so he had a few hours to get his apartment in order before Kacchan arrived.
“Okay Kacchan, see you in a few hours.”
Izuku hung up the phone and texted Kacchan his address.
He immediately got to work cleaning his apartment. He grabbed a garbage bag and started throwing away the take-out containers that had been left on his coffee table and also throwing away the empty beer cans and bottles that littered everywhere.
He moved to the kitchen and started doing the dishes that had sat in the sink for the past week, Izuku had been too exhausted to do them. After those were finished, he grabbed a broom and started sweeping the entire studio apartment, something that hadn’t been done in several weeks.
He grabbed the mop from the closet in the bathroom, grabbed the bucket he kept under the kitchen sink, and filled the bucket with hot water and some Pine Sol. He got to work mopping the floors and his apartment was soon filled the lemony freshness that the Pine Sol offered.
After all that was done, he finally sat back down on the couch and helped himself to another cigarette. He looked at the clock and saw he had a little over a couple of minutes until Kacchan was going to be here.
He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the Hero Network app using his thumb to scroll while the cigarette was between his pointer and middle finger. He saw all the comments about Kacchan’s interview earlier that evening.
He broke out of his trance on his phone with a knock on the door. His stomach dropped, and he took one last inhale of his cigarette before snuffing it out in the ashtray.
He walked briskly to the door and opened it while letting the smoke exhale through his nose.
Kacchan stood there, out of his hero costume. He was wearing a simple black tant top and grey sweatpants that hung low on his waist, the waistband of his boxer-briefs peeking out of the top of his sweatpants. Kacchan’s arms were thick with muscle, and his broad chest hinted at years of training. Defined muscles lined his torso, his chest firm, and his abdomen marked by visible ridges of muscle. His obvious strength seemed to be woven into his body. Izuku felt meek in comparison to the absolute hunk of a man in front of him.
“You going to quit staring and let me in?” Kacchan teased.
The moment he caught Izuku staring, Izuku whipped his head away with such speed he nearly gave himself whiplash. His face turned the color of a ripe tomato as he desperately searched for something else to look at. His face was burning crimson, and he struggled to find something—anything—to say.
“...S-sure, c-come in,” Izuku squeaked. He was rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.
Of course, Kacchan noticed him staring. God, he wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.
He could hear Kacchan chuckle before he stepped past Izuku and took his combat boots off in the genkan.
Kacchan looked around Izuku’s shitty apartment and let out a whistle, obviously teasing him about the tiny apartment.
“What a shitbox nerd, this really where you live?”
Izuku scowled. He marched over to Kacchan and slapped his back.
“Hey! We can’t all be rich like the number four hero now can we,” Izuku whined.
Kacchan sucked in a breath and turned away from Izuku. Something Izuku said had clearly struck a chord with the blond man.
Izuku rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch and sat down. Katsuki followed him and sat down on the other end of the couch. Izuku groaned.
“What, are you that embarrassed to sit next to me?”
Kacchan snapped his gaze toward Izuku, and a scowl formed on his face.
“...Tch, whatever”
Izuku rolled his eyes. Typical Kacchan.
Izuku picked up the pack of cigarettes and held it out towards Katsuki.
“Smoke?” Izuku asked him.
Katsuki looked him up and down, then pulled a cigarette from the pack.
“Sure, thanks” Katsuki grumbled. Izuku offered Katsuki a lighter and the blond took it from his hands. Katsuki cupped a hand around the end of the cigarette before he lit it, inhaling slowly as the cigarrete caught. Katsuki offered the lighter back to Izuku.
Izuku pulled another one out of the pack and tucked it between his lips. He flicked the lighter, the metallic sound of it breaking the silence between them. He lowered his head, inhaled, and the end of the cigarette glowed a bright orange. He leaned his head against the back of the couch before letting out a long exhale. The thin ribbon of smoke curled lazily into the air.
Katsuki just stared at him. Izuku turned his gaze back to Katsuki, taking another drag from his cigarette before flicking the ashes in the ashtray.
“So, you said in the interview you wished you could apologize to me face-to-face.” Izuku broke the silence.
Katsuki stiffened. The cigarrete hanged at the corner of his mouth. He brought his hand up to grab the cigarette before taking a big inhale. He let the smoke leave out of his nostrils, before flicking the ashes into the ashtray as well. He repositioned himself on the couch, so his body was facing Izuku.
“I did” Katsuki answered softly.
Izuku nodded his head, taking another drag from his cigarette, giving Katsuki permission to continue.
Katsuki took a big drag from his cigarette, letting out a big exhale, the smoke drifting over towards Izuku. Katsuki clearly looked like he was trying to find the words he needed to say. His mouth opened and closed a few times. His lips pulled into a tight frown. After a few moments of silence, Katsuki finally found the words he needed to say.
“Look, I know you saw and heard my apology from earlier, and most of what I wanted to say I didn’t have time to say in the interview.” Katsuki started, staring at Izuku’s green eyes.
“When the old hag told me that you moved away because of all the bullying, it broke something inside of me, something that I didn’t know existed. It was something that I had hidden, never wanting to get out, something I knew could never happen.”
Izuku stared at him, Katsuki whispering out the words, struggling to get his feelings out. Izuku reached out his hand and placed it over the blonds that was fisted into his thigh. He could feel Katsuki tense up from the touch.
“What was it Kacchan?” Izuku asked him.
Katsuki sucked in a sharp breath. He brought his cigarette back up to his lips and took another drag from it.
“How much I loved you, Izuku” Katsuki confessed.
Izuku stared in stunned silence, eyebrows lifting as the words sank in. His mouth opened slightly before closing again, his shoulders tightened, his gaze searching Katsuki’s face as if making sure he’d heard correctly. When he realized that Katsuki wasn’t lying, the surprise melted into something warmer. His tense shoulders loosened; a small, genuine smile tugged at his lips.
“I loved you too you know”
Katsuki’s head snapped up and looked at him with utter shock; his eyes had widened. Katsuki’s shoulders stiffened as the weight of the confession settled over him. He drew in a slow breath, looking momentarily speechless. His mouth opened and closed a few times.
Izuku chuckled at the revelation that Katsuki was going through. He took a final drag from his cigarette, tilting his head back before exhaling and letting the smoke drift into the ceiling. He put the cigarette out in the ashtray.
“I’ve always loved you, you know, even when you were bullying me, even when I thought you hated me. I just thought that if you took your anger out on me, then at least you wouldn’t be taking it out on someone else. I could handle it because you were always my hero Kacchan.”
Katsuki’s cigarette had long been abandoned in the ashtray; smoke still wafting off of it, filling the air with the scent of tobacco.
“Izuku...” Katsuki whispered out, tears falling down his face. He looked so damn beautiful when he cried.
Izuku reached out his hand, cupping Katsuki’s cheek and wiping the tears with his thumb. Katsuki leaned into the touch.
“I still love you,” Izuku confessed.
They sat in silence, neither willing to break the fragile moment. Katsuki leaned closer, searching Izuku’s face for any trace of uncertainty. Finding none, he lifted his hand to gently cup his cheek. Their foreheads nearly touched before he closed the remaining distance, brushing a soft, tentative kiss against his lips. It was brief, almost questioning, but when they pulled apart, they were both smiling.
Relief softened every line of Izuku’s face. He let out a quiet laugh, the kind that came after holding his breath for far too long. His hand found Katuki’s, fingers intertwining before he leaned in. This kiss was slow and gentle, filled with affection rather than urgency, as though they were finally allowing themselves to believe what they'd just said aloud.
When they finally pulled apart, neither one of them knew what to say.
Katsuki brought their intertwined hands up to his mouth and gave the back of Izuku’s knuckles several featherlight kisses.
Izuku’s face flushed, his body warm with the tender affection that Katsuki was showing him. This was a side of Katsuki he had never seen before.
“You’re amazing Kacchan, always amazing,” Izuku responded throught his fluttered eyelashes.
Katsuki chuckled.
“You’re pretty damn amazing too nerd, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it,” Katsuki apologized.
Izuku reached up his free hand, cupping Katsuki’s cheek, stroking his thumb across the cheek.
“You were worth waiting for,” Izuku confessed as he leaned in for another kiss.