Chapter Text
"—and I get that! I really do, but I just don't think that's what I want anymore. I can't tell if you're saying that out of concern or if you're just saying you're not supporting me in this," Marinette muttered, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
Marinette wasn't trying to start an argument with her mother, but something about morning before coffee grated her mother's nerves in such a way that even just looking up Gotham City University had soured the morning mood. She understood that it made her frustrated, but bringing it up because she was looking at the website was a bit much for her.
It's hard to believe that you have to make decisions on your future at such a young age. You're sixteen and making decisions on what to eat from the cafeteria and then all of a sudden you're expected to know what you wanna do for the rest of your life. These decisions aren't typically instantaneous, and they definitely don't come without some sort of deliberation, so why was every adult in Marinette's life acting like she should already know by now?
—okay, that might be an exaggeration, and maybe even a half truth, but just because she's known exactly where she has wanted to go to school for fashion designing her whole life doesn't mean she can't change her mind! People change! Her parents seem to struggle wrapping their minds around it, not to mention she hadn't even brought it up to her teachers yet.
"I'm not saying I don't support you Marinette," her mother replied, moving her eyes in a way that looked suspiciously like rolling her eyes, "you know that. I just don't know if this is the best thing to pivot to. Why not a different school?"
"It's not just the school. It's the city's recent rise in design and fashion. The doors already opened a crack and I just need to step inside before it closes on me. I think I have a chance to really do something great, something I can't do anywhere else." Marinette looked down at her hands. "I know this isn't something you want for me and I can understand that, but I think the fact that Grandmere just moved there and then the class trip just by some luck being there is a sign."
Her maman examined her with a level look for a moment before sighing, "are you doing this to hurt me?"
"What?" Marinette exclaimed, "of course not. I'm not even saying I'll for sure go there, but the school trip will be the perfect opportunity to decide. I can even tour the school if I manage my time right."
"I just don't understand why you waited so late to tell me this," her mother pinched her finger to the bridge of her nose, " you'd be moving there a month and a half from now."
"If I like it there," Marinette inputted quickly, "and that's a big if. It's not even just the rise in fashion if I'm being honest. It's also an opportunity for scholarships beyond my imagination."
"Some bigger companies in the city started up an incentive program that creates high reward scholarships for those who get degrees through their colleges, restore trashed and vandalized city property, and fill their quota for community service." Marinette stated all of this matter of factly, trying to minimize her biasedness on this topic.
Her mom looked at her intently before casting her eyes to the clock in their living room, "listen, we can talk about this later, right now you need to get to school. You're going to be late."
Marinette knew just by looking at her that they were far from done when it came to this topic. That was fair; she wasn't an adult. This would be a massive change and the fact that her mother was still considering it was a miracle alone. Her father refused to even speak about it. It was her mother that was even entertaining the idea. She was trying to remember that she should be grateful that she had gotten this far with this, but it was a genuine struggle. A lot more than her college fantasies and career relied on this working out. Trying to convey that urgency without it coming off as some sort of teenage rebellion or attitude was a losing battle, but the issues that weighed her shoulders wouldn't lighten until she succeeded with this, so there was little choice.
"I can't ever be on time," Marinette muttered under her breath, scrambling for her backpack and her journal.
"Marinette, I love you, sweetheart. Have a good day at school," her mother yelled as she ran downstairs in a flurry of paper, limbs, and pencils.
Marinette threw back something that loosely resembled the words "I love you" back and departed as quick as her legs allowed her to school. Tripping minimally, she would arrive not a second too late.
School, while she was now in her final year for high school, was both different and the same. You could rely on a lot not to change but it sort of resembled the calm before the storm. There was something different in the air this year, and it affected all of the seniors differently.
Tikki, rustled in her purse as she finally settled into her seat, nestling a paw on Marinette's finger for reassurance; it was much appreciated. The arguments lately with her mother really unsettled her, but school was a whole other beast as well.
For starters, there was a new seating arrangement then last year. Not a big deal at all, except for the fact that it wasn't chosen by their teacher. No, her classmates had changed it up. Marinette wouldn't usually complain but the fact that she had just showed up last month to a seat in the back row by herself did sort of hurt.
"You understand, don't you girl?" Alya had checked in with her at lunch. "Lila's eyes just got worse during the summer. It's only temporary though, she said it's almost like a flare up."
It wasn't like Marinette wasn't altruistic, but her patience with Lila had long ago worn thin, and she was tired of drawing the short end of the stick. She went from best friends to a total stranger to Alya within the last month, and if the occasional stares and mocking gestures were any indication, she would assume it would soon be more than just that.
—she could also just be imagining it though. She's had a short fuse lately, and anything Alya did for a while could be viewed a bit biasedly considering how she's deserted her, but that's still no excuse to dramatize things. Marinette was allowed to be hurt, but she wasn't allowed to think about it. Knowing this, she stored away how she was feeling and pet Tikki silently.
Up towards the front she saw Lila look over her shoulder for just a moment. Blue met green before Lila settled towards the whiteboard, her cheeks seemingly in a smile. A white blinding emotion rushed through Marinette and Tikki's grasp tightened.
It was fine. Everything was good and even if it wasn't this would be out of her control so she might as well let it go. The hand that had somehow formed into a fist on her desk relaxed back into a flat palm, and she focused as Miss Bustier finally began her lesson on science. Soon everyone other than her teacher faded out of view as Marinette focused on what was actually important; not flippant teenage drama.
———
Lunch brought its own troubles and worries. Marinette chose the last banana pudding and set it onto her tray before heading over towards the table closest to the window. Her thoughts were far away from school, but focused on the partisan heroes that while four years into their battle, were no closer to winning the war.
She took a bite of her apple and thought back to her first year as Ladybug. It had seemed so much more hopeful then. Everything was fine as long as the day was saved. Marinette was thinking long-term then, but how would she know Hawkmoth would still rage on well past her first year of high school?
Things had taken on a depressive light within the last two years. It was just different. All of a sudden they couldn't afford to be untrained. Battle strategies had to be known, and minor mistakes were not to be made. The team of Miraculous holders had more on their plate than they ever had their first year, and the time it was taking from their teen years was a lot.
Marinette was feeling burnt out, but ultimately just as convicted to end this fight. It was ending this year. The trauma and pain that civilians in the city had gone through had gone on long enough. In fact, the longer this went on the faster Akumaizations happened. Akumas were able to fester on the emotions surrounding the previous battle.
This was another reason Marinette needed to get out. She had done her best throughout the years, but suppressing her emotions so long was getting to her; she felt volatile. She needed time to just breathe. Away from all of this and everything else that bothered her. The city needed her at her best, and right now she wasn't there.
Marinette felt even worse when she felt like her position as Ladybug was weakened by something going on in her life. It was like she was failing the city, which in turn only made her more likely to be akumatized. It was stupid how effective Hawkmoth's power was. The longer it went on, the more effective it was.
"—Do you mind if Lila has your banana pudding? All that's left is blueberry pie, and she's allergic to blueberries but really needs some sort of sugar for her. . ." Rose paused, " I actually don't remember what it's called but something makes it to where she has to keep her sugar levels stable."
Marinette eyes her untouched pudding and looked towards Lila's table. Alya was looking at her expectantly while running her hand through Lila's hair, who looked tired and slumped. The only thing that gave it away was the slight smile Lila gave her when she saw she was looking her way.
"Sure," Marinette placed the pudding container into Rose's hand. "Hope she feels better."
It wasn't worth it, but Marinette couldn't stand to deal with anything like this anymore. She needed out. Desperately. Not just the school. The entire city.
—^—^—^—^