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After replying to Faruzan’s messages, Kaveh sets his phone aside and turns back to his computer. Since it’s only midnight, Kaveh wants to make some progress on his blueprint before heading to sleep.
Kaveh dives into his work, working on perfecting his blueprint until he’s satisfied. The world around him fades for a while until his eyes start to droop.
Deciding that it’s time to sleep, Kaveh saves his progress and closes his laptop before putting it away underneath his bed. He grabs his pajamas from his drawer and tip toes out of the bedroom, careful to not wake Alhaitham up next door.
It is only in the solitude of the bathroom, picking out the products he’s going to use for his nightly self-care routine does he start to let the events earlier in the evening sink in. He recalls the art exhibit they went to and the hour-long discussion they had on the main piece’s meaning, the constant teasing and back and forth banter as they rank their favorite paintings.
He remembers the building getting so cold that Alhaitham lent Kaveh his jacket to keep him warm for the rest of their time there. If he closes his eyes, he could still smell the subtle scent of vanilla and coffee that emitted from that jacket.
If he really concentrates, he can still feel the way Alhaitham held him, back pressed against Alhaitham’s chest as those large hands curled around his own as they waited for another group to move on from a painting so they can admire it themselves in peace.
When Kaveh looks back at the mirror, he’s blushing just as hard as he did at that time, and his entire body feels hot. His heart is beating so hard, Kaveh has to grip onto the counter to make sure he doesn’t faint.
All he can think about is Alhaitham. His stupid smug smile, his gentle caresses, his deep baritone voice that sends shivers down Kaveh’s spine. He thinks about how much he wants to be around Alhaitham, how he never wants to leave his side, and most importantly, how he yearns to be even closer…
“Fuck.” Kaveh curses as he realizes what this all means for him.
He’s fallen for Alhaitham.
Honestly, he should’ve seen it coming. Given the years of history they have, it’s no wonder he feels this way. Still, he can’t stop the panic rising within him from this revelation.
He can’t be in love with Alhaitham. Not like this. Not when they’re still barely roommates that can get along. This is just a recipe for disaster.
As he lies in bed, the realization still haunts him. He needs help, and he should ask his friends about this. Maybe they can give him advice? Despite the fact that he can barely keep his eyes open, he musters all his energy to reach over to the nightstand and grabs his phone, opening up the private group chat without Alhaitham to send his message of distress.
He hits send and closes his eyes, knowing that when he wakes up, his friends will have some words of advice for him.
It is well into the morning when Kaveh wakes up. The first thing he does is stretch his body, hearing the different cracks from every pull of his muscles. Then, he grabs his phone to check his messages. If he recalls correctly, he asked something to the group chat before he went to sleep. By this time, everyone else should have already woken up and seen the messages.
When Kaveh picks up his phone and looks down at his lockscreen, he expects a couple of notifications. Replies from his friends, greetings from clients, and reminders for the day are nothing out of the ordinary. The last thing he expects is for his phone to have over 300 notifications waiting for him.
Panic surges through his veins as he hurriedly unlocks his phone and opens the group chat. Did something horrible happen while he was asleep? Why did half of his friends call him over a dozen times so early in the morning?
Kaveh is about to check the group chat when he notices his most recent notification. It’s from Alhaitham of all people. His stomach plummets as he reads the ominous message Alhaitham left earlier.
Did something happen involving Alhaitham? His intuition tells him so, but he can’t put a finger on it. Was it about last night? Or maybe…
Kaveh opens up the group chat and backreads, feeling his soul leave his body as he does so. In his sleep deprived state, he ended up sending the messages to the wrong group chat! He can’t believe he messed up that badly. He might as well have shouted it down the street with a megaphone in hand. Could he have not been any more tactless?!
At least he knows why he has so many notifications. His poor friends. They were all attempting damage control as he was sound asleep. As grateful as he is for their help, he recognizes that this is his mess alone, and the only person that can salvage it is his own self.
Kaveh presses the call button on his phone and waits for the person on the other line to pick up. They reply instantly.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” Kaveh greets as he paces back and forth in his room. “I just saw your text. Are you still in the apartment?”
“I’m in the kitchen. Do you want some coffee before we talk?”
“Sure, let me brush my teeth first.”
“I’ll wait for you then.”
Kaveh spends the entire time brushing his teeth on edge. His mind spirals as he thinks about how everything can go wrong. There is no way Alhaitham hasn’t seen those messages. They’re right there after all! He just hopes that Alhaitham’s reaction won’t end with him in the street.
He can handle rejection. Kaveh knows that having these feelings with the kind of relationship they have is ill-advised. While it may break his heart at first, he can move on. Even if Alhaitham doesn’t feel the same, it’s better than to be homeless.
After getting ready, Kaveh enters the kitchen to find the promised cup of coffee, and Alhaitham reading a book at the table. He takes the coffee and sits down, fingers drumming against the ceramic as he waits for Alhaitham to finish his page and look up.
Kaveh’s heart pounds as he finds a way to start the dreaded conversation.
“So… about last night…”
“Tighnari texted me to not look at what you sent in the group chat.” Alhaitham states. “And I haven’t.”
A wave of relief washes over Kaveh. There is something to salvage after all! He can delete the message and pretend it didn’t happen and Alhaitham will be none of the wiser.
“If you don’t want to tell me what you sent, don’t,” Alhaitham adds.
And there it is. The ball has been placed in his court. He can either delete it and pretend it never happened, or come forward about what was sent.
As he thinks about what he’ll do, Alhaitham takes his hand. Kaveh looks up in surprise to find teal eyes staring at him with an intensity brighter than the sun. His face turns hot as Alhaitham leans in.
“But, I would like to know, and I want to hear it come directly through you rather than through text.”
Kaveh’s heart pounds. “I sent an embarrassing text.”
“How embarrassing?” He presses.
“Enough that I want to crawl under a rock and rot away for all eternity.”
“That bad?”
Kaveh nods. “It’s really bad. It wasn’t meant for that group chat at all. I just wanted to ask the others something personal.”
“And you didn’t want me to see it?”
“Yes, but, I have a reason! That message… if you were to read it…” Kaveh sighs. “I’m afraid of how you’ll react to it.”
“React how?”
“I don’t know, badly? It could be something that can ruin our already fragile friendship and I don’t want—
Alhaitham’s eyes widen in surprise as he leans even closer. “Kaveh,” he says in a serious tone. “Our relationship may not have always been the greatest, but you could never drive me away.”
Kaveh looks into his eyes and takes note of the determined glint in them. He really does mean business. Whatever Kaveh says, it won’t change anything. And yet…
“You don’t understand. What I said could change everything for us.”
“For better or for worse?”
“I don’t know. That depends on you. Which is why I can’t tell you because—”
Kaveh is so nervous that he’s already out of breath. He feels his heart pound as Alhaitham continues to intensely stare at him.
“Because…?”
“Because I had a lot of fun last night, and it’s like what we used to be, and I don’t want to lose that.” Kaveh places a hand on his beating heart, pushing back tears as he adds, “I don’t want to lose you.”
Alhaitham’s hold on his hand tightens.
“I don’t want to lose what we’ve managed to build together either. And if there is a chance this could form something greater then I’m willing to take that chance. So tell me,” Alhaitham pleads. “I promise whatever you have to say won’t ruin things.”
“I…” Kaveh bites his lip before shaking his head. “I can’t do it.”
Disappointment flashes across Alhaitham’s face before quickly being replaced by his usual neutral expression. “I understand.” He flatly says as he begins to pull away.
Somehow, this only makes Kaveh feel worse. He feels as if he may have missed a life-changing opportunity. When he should be happy that the matter is resolved without the risk, he instead feels like a coward.
“Wait,” Kaveh abruptly calls out.
Alhaitham looks at Kaveh expectantly. Kaveh fidgets in his seat, as he takes in a deep breath.
“The message I sent last night. It said that I’m in love with you.”
Alhaitham’s lips part in surprise. “What…?”
“I said that I’m in love with you!” Kaveh confesses, unable to look Alhaitham in the eye.
Silence. Kaveh doesn’t even dare to look back at Alhaitham. Now that the truth is out, the future is uncertain. Either way, nothing will ever be the same.
“Well?! Say something!”
“Are you sure?” Alhaitham asks, voice just above a whisper.
When Kaveh turns to face Alhaitham again, he realizes that Alhaitham is leaning so close, their noses are about to touch.
Kaveh’s heart pounds as he nods. “More than anything.”
“Good,” Alhaitham says as his hands cradle Kaveh’s face. “Because I’m in love with you too.”
Their lips clash together in a clumsy attempt at a kiss. For a moment, Kaveh is unsure of what to do before he melts into Alhaitham’s touch. Adjusting the position of his head into something more comfortable before kissing him properly.
Kaveh feels warmth blossom inside his chest as they kiss. He never thought that Alhaitham could ever hold him so gently, that his lips could feel so soft, and that the lingering taste of his coffee could make his head spin. It’s far from perfect. Alhaitham is clearly inexperienced, but Kaveh doesn’t care. It’s never been about perfection for them, but rather the feeling of familiarity, and that is exactly how kissing Alhaitham makes him feel. Familiar and comforting.
It doesn’t take long for things to get heated. Alhaitham’s hands find purchase on his waist and he drags him onto his lap, deepening the kiss. Kaveh moans in reply, wrapping his arms around Alhaitham’s neck as he straddles him.
As they continue to make out, Kaveh does not miss the feel of Alhaitham’s bulge prodding him. He runs his hand down Alhaitham’s chest and palms the erection, earning him a moan from Alhaitham. He smiles into the kiss as he continues his tirade, playing with the waistband of his pants before pulling them down.
“You’re so big,” Kaveh says as his hand runs up and down the length. “I need you inside me.”
“That can be arranged,” Alhaitham replies, his hands gripping Kaveh’s waist before his thumbs slide under the waistband of pants and exposes him to the cool air of their apartment.
Kaveh faintly hears the sound of something being uncapped and before he knows it, Alhaitham is hoisting him up onto the table, spreading his legs as fingers circle around the rim. Their lips urgently reconnect in a hungry kiss, desperate for more.
Kaveh nearly loses his mind as fingers prod his hole, stretching him out. He’s left already seeing stars by the time he feels the head push inside the rim.
“Fuck,” Kaveh curses as he throws his head back. “You really are big.”
“Don’t back out after begging for it.”
“You think I’m backing out?” Kaveh defiantly grins, holding onto Alhaitham’s shoulders as he sinks himself further down. “You’re not deep enough inside me.”
Alhaitham’s breath hitches from the sudden friction, his grip on Kaveh’s waist tightening as he releases a low groan. They hold in place for a moment, languid kisses of encouragement being shared before Alhaitham pushes further in.
They lose themselves to the feeling of pleasure, two bodies becoming one. Each thrust Alhaitham does reaches deeper inside of him, hitting his prostate and each time Kaveh feels like he’s ascended to another plane of existence, tears running down his face from the ecstasy it gives him.
Kaveh is too far gone to form coherent words. Instead of voicing words of encouragement, he whines and scratches at Alhaitham’s back, bucking his hips up to pick up the pace.
Alhaitham comes with Kaveh’s name on his lips, kissing him with fervor as he spills everything inside Kaveh. Kaveh releases as well, chest heaving up and down as he comes down from his high.
“If I had known I can make you even more beautiful than you already are, I would’ve done this sooner,” Alhaitham states as he kisses Kaveh’s tears.
Kaveh has just enough energy to laugh, teasingly shoving Alhaitham’s shoulders. “You have plenty of chances now.”
“Hmm, I guess I do,” Alhaitham smiles as he leans in to kiss Kaveh again. “How about another round?”
“Already?” Kaveh teases, tugging at the hem of Alhaitham’s shirt as he helps him take it off. “You are so insatiable.”
“Only when it comes to you.”
“You read what Tighnari said,” Alhaitham replies as Kaveh sets his phone aside. “Enjoy your boyfriend.”
He closes his eyes and leans in for a kiss. Kaveh chuckles and places his hand on Alhaitham’s face, pushing his head away.
“If you kiss me, you won’t stop,” Kaveh teases. “And I have to help out Faruzan in half an hour.”
“Right now, your time is mine. She can wait.” Alhaitham pries the hand off his face and kisses him.
