Chapter Text
“I’m so close to texting my fucking ex.” Shane flung himself onto the chair opposite of Ilya in the campus cafe and let his hockey bag drop to the floor.
“What? No! Why?” Ilya grabbed one of the two coffee mugs in front of him and pushed it across the table towards Shane. “This is terrible idea. And you look like angry kitten at 8am on a Monday. So scary.”
”Ha ha, very funny”, Shane grumbled and looked deep into the blackness of his coffee. It was just as dark as his mood. He actually felt murderous after the weekend. And so fucking horny, he was gonna combust. “But I’m really serious about texting Max. He seems to be the only top in this stupid town that is not taken and doesn’t have ‘no fems, no fats, no Asians’ in his profile. Can you believe that? And all other gays, it appears, are needy bottoms who won’t even admit so. They have ‘vers’ in their profile, but never wanna fuck you. What a fucking waste of my time.”
Ilya drew his eyebrows together. “So people are racist, but you are very horny ... and totally not one of these ‘needy bottoms’ yourself.”
Shane blushed now. Hard. What an embarrassing thing to admit to your straight friend. But whatever. The café was still empty, most students didn’t have classes before 9, but of course hockey training had already been at 6:30. No one would listen into their conversation. “At least it’s right there in my profile. I don’t need some awful guessing game who is gonna do the fucking until we’re in the bedroom, or wanna flip a coin for it like fucking Michael. At least he fucked me with his dildo in the end, unlike Nathan who thought all jocks must be tops and basically accused me of being a liar.”
“Wait. Who is Michael? And who is this asshole Nathan?”, Ilya interrupted before Shane could rant on. “And this cannot be true. There must be other guys in Ottawa who wanna fuck you. Not only … what's his face … spoiled little trust fund kid.”
“Ilya …”, Shane warned him. But then he remembered. He and Max had broken up. There really was no reason to defend him anymore. Especially not when it was true. Max was a spoiled trust fund kid who could never put himself into Shane’s shoes. He never understood why Shane had to work twice as hard as him, why he couldn’t stay out until late before an exam because he actually had to ace it. Never mind the fact that Shane had to focus on hockey, too, scoring goals and winning games to impress any scouts or coaches that may or may not be watching him play. He made assistant captain alongside Ilya this season and when Scott Hunter would be drafted into the NHL next year, everyone was sure that Shane would be taking over the reigns of the Ottawa Otters.
“Don’t you remember that you broke up with that rich prick because he was too ashamed to introduce you to his Hampton daddy? For months he made you feel like shit because he apparently is ‘under a lot of pressure’ to meet his parents’ expectations when choosing a partner. Fuck him!”, Ilya spat. “And I don’t mean literally. There must be more rainbow fish in the sea. Or whatever.”
”You’re right”, Shane sighed, but wouldn’t look up from his coffee. Because not texting Max wasn’t actually fixing anything. He was deliberately not counting the days, but it had been months now since he had last gotten laid, or rather fucked. Blowjobs didn’t really count. Nothing since had worked out, no dates, no hookups, no nights home alone with his two brand new dildos. And it was distracting him from hockey, being on Grindr and Hinge all day, trying to get out of this funk – or whatever this was –, when really all he needed was to be thoroughly fucked.
“Maybe I should try a bi guy. Chances are much higher that most of them enjoy topping, right?”, Shane voiced his next thought, but also looked at Ilya for a reaction. Not that he’d know much about the topic, after all, Ilya was incredibly straight – but also very comfortable in his sexuality which is why he was the one Shane now confided in. His roommate Hayden would be a child about it because he didn’t ‘want to imagine Shane doing the nasty’ and other than Scott and his boyfriend, Shane didn’t actually have any queer friends. And well, Scott was his captain and Kip would more than likely berate him about safe sex and not hooking up via apps; they both were really more like his gay uncles: too concerned and too in love with each other to see his problem.
“I guess? But they could like being pegged by their girlfriends, too.” Ilya must have seen the disappointment on Shane’s face because he immediately retracted his words. “They probably switch at least. Have you messaged any yet?”
“No.” Shane shook his head and made himself look away from the way Ilya’s upper lip still had some cappuccino foam on it. “They’re almost no bi guys on the apps. I guess they don’t need it, they have plenty to choose from out in the real world.” He laughed, but in truth there was some bitterness to it. Although he currently was just looking for a good fuck, at heart Shane was a romantic and would have preferred meeting guys at bars, cafes, the gym, the rink, wherever. But then he’d have to wait for two years or longer before he ever got laid again. He was not great at picking up social cues and flirting in particular.
And Ilya knew this. Which must be why he immediately jumped in to offer being his wingman. “We can go out on Friday, hit the bars and maybe go to Neon Night at Inferno after. The guys with pink, purple and blue lights will be the ones you want”, Ilya smirked.
Shane groaned miserably. “If only it were that easy. My gaydar is horrible enough as it is, but actually spotting a bi guy in a crowd is like matching with someone on Hinge who truly wants a relationship and not a third or just some casual sex. Ergo, next to impossible.” Ottawa really needed more gay clubs and bars, it would make life so much easier for Shane. But as it was, the only two gay bars in town were total dumps and had been closed because of mice already a few times since Shane had moved here. No one and nothing, not even the promise of a willing strong top, could make Shane enter either establishment ever again.
Ilya’s strikingly blue eyes found Shane’s when he finally licked that foam of his lip. “That’s why I’m going with you. I’ll be your gaydar, or bi-dar, it doesn’t really matter, as long as he’s a top. And any guy flirting with me will be ruled out immediately, those are all bottoms.”
“What?”, Shane spluttered. Ilya did get hit on by quite few guys whenever they went out together (which was not very often up until now), but this was just presumptuous. “You’ve never actually fucked any of them, so how’d you know?”
“Oh, Hollander. I don’t need to fuck them to know that. They approach me because I’m huge and muscular and have a thick Russian cock. What else would they want?”
Ilya was such a cocky bastard. But Shane couldn’t really argue with that even if he was stereotyping. Ilya was objectively a very beautiful and beefy guy. His sparkling eyes and unruly golden locks highlighted his boyish charm, while the rest of his body was all hard lines and muscles. Not that Shane tried to notice all that much. Being one of only two gay guys on the team, he avoided both eye contact and any type of glance in the communal showers. Still, with Ilya proudly prancing around without a shirt on as soon as it hit 18 degrees celsius in the spring, it was hard not to at least sometimes take a little peak at his broad chest, his impressive pecs, the light hair running down into his boxers …
“Well, if that’s the best plan we’ve got, I may as well sign up for life in a monastery now”, he joked.
“No, no, none of this, Hollander. We’re going to get you laid. Even if I end up fucking you myself.” Ilya set down his empty mug and smiled devilishly.
Shane’s laughter got stuck in his throat as the image of Ilya bending him over his couch popped up in his head. How his cross necklace moved with his thrusts, his hips bucking into him. But stop, no. This was just Ilya’s fucked up way of teasing him. Ilya Rozanov was as straight as a battering ram. And he had no actual interest in fucking his lonely and horny friend and teammate.
“Keep it in your pants, Rozanov. I know that’s hard for you, but you should try it sometime”, Shane retorted, but his smile was just as weak as his comeback because now the image of Ilya pounding into him would be stuck in his head all day, taunting him more than this stupid dry spell. Ilya Rozanov was truly a menace.
✨🪩
On Thursday, Shane sat in his econ class, just doodling because his mind was everywhere but with whatever Professor Cooper was telling them, when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Hayden (who sat next to him and was actually taking notes) pressed his elbow into Shane’s side when he pulled his iPhone out. “I swear, if you open Grindr in class, I’m staging an intervention”, he hissed.
“That’s actually homophobic, Hayd. But no, it’s just Ilya texting me.” Shane knew that his roommate didn’t really understand Grindr or why Shane needed it or even the fact that he still was eager for a proper rebound after Max when it’s already been months. In Hayden’s mind, Shane should just date someone new, someone better, someone who actually deserved him. If it only were that easy. When one was already struggling to find a good fuck, dating was entirely hopeless.
“Since when are you and Rozanov that close?”, Hayden huffed. “And I’m surprised he’s already awake. It’s like 9:30, and from what Marly told me earlier, he should still be soundly asleep in some chick’s bed after last night.”
“We’re both assistant captains. And he’s trying to help me with something.” Shane ignored the rest of what Hayden had just said. There was no need for him to hear about Ilya’s newest conquest. It wasn’t really worth finding out about her anyways, there was always going to be a new girl next week. Unlike Shane, Ilya had no troubles finding someone to fuck. Which may be exactly why he was the perfect wingman.
“Helping you with what?” Hayden peaked over Shane’s shoulder as he opened Ilya’s message.
“What the fuck? Why is he sending you an eggplant emoji?!” Hayden squealed so loudly that Professor Cooper directed an angry look their way. “Mr. Pike, if you and Mr. Hollander could please discuss your grocery list after class and focus a little more? Although I do know an excellent Eggplant Parmesan recipe. I’ll send it to you if either one of you gets an A on the exam in two weeks.”
“Sorry, sir”, Shane apologized as Hayden frantically nodded along. “This won’t happen again. And that recipe sounds delicious.” Although he wasn’t really a big fan of eggplants. Well, unless it was code for a big dick.
In the end, Shane just managed to send Ilya a thumbs up, before redirecting his focus to the whiteboard on which Professor Cooper had drawn a graph that Shane blindly copied into his notebook while trying to ignore Hayden’s insistent stares. Fucking Ilya, always getting him into trouble. Over a year ago, when they had just met and started playing together, he had actually convinced half of the Otters that Shane invented a new trick, calling it “The Hollander”, when in reality, he just mimicked Poponov’s sidestepping slapshot from the Montreal vs San Francisco game that aired the weekend before. And Ilya had known that very well, but he just loved to make people, and Shane in particular, blush – or at least he said so, when Coach Wiebe let the clip run at next practice and praised Shane for his “perfect adaptation”, so that everyone found out that Shane was really just copying one of the best players in the NHL.
Fortunately, Shane didn’t have to explain himself, or rather Ilya’s message to him, to Hayden until after class. But as soon as Professor Cooper left the room and their classmates packed up their stuff, Shane was immediately cornered by him again. “Are you and Rozanov fucking, or what?”
“Jesus Christ, Hayden”, Shane shushed him. “Of course not. You know that he’s straight and I’m certainly not that desperate.” Yet, Shane almost added. He had pushed that joke Ilya had made a few days prior (and the subsequent image that had popped up in his head) so far back into his mind that it hopefully never emerged from there again. It was no use if he were to develop a crush – or whatever – on his straight teammate now. “That was just code and him being an asshole.”
Shane threw his notebook and pen into his bag and grabbed his water bottle before he made his way to his next lecture hall. Unlucky as he was, Hayden was in his next class, too. “What’s he helping you with, then? And unlike Cooper, I really don’t think it’s dinner.”
“We’re just going to Neon Nights tomorrow and he offered to be my wingman”, Shane finally admitted as he sat down.
“Didn’t you just get laid last weekend? You brought that guy home, but I guess he didn’t stay the night …”, Hayden voiced his unfiltered thoughts.
“He was an asshole. And no, I’m not gonna tell you why because you’re always so judgey about sex. Which is exactly why I’m going out with Rozanov and not you.”
“Just because I’m not a slut like Rozanov, doesn’t mean I’m not sex positive. And what does he know about your type that I don’t?”, Hayden asked. Sometimes he was such a baby. Although he was – for the most part – a great roommate, friend and ally to Shane, he recently had acted like he was 12 years old when it came to Shane’s sex life.
“For one, he has better gaydar than me, let alone you. Plus, the fact that you’re slutshaming him already shows that you are not very sex positive at all”, Shane couldn’t stop himself from adding. “And now let’s please change the subject because unless I’m actually bringing a guy home, that’s really none of your business. And even then, it’s only your concern if we somehow keep you up all night.”
Hayden rolled his eyes dramatically and fiddled with his pen. “Just text me if you’re bringing someone back tomorrow night. I could go to Jackie’s or something for a few hours.”
“Because that would be such a burden to you”, Shane smirked. “Poor Jackie, only getting some if I do. You better hope Ilya is actually is as good of a wingman as he claims to be.”
“Fuck”, Hayden groaned. “He’ll be such an insufferable asshole if he gets you laid. So whoever you pick, he better be fucking worth it.”
✨🪩
It was Friday night and Shane had agreed to meet Ilya at Lowtides at 10pm from where they would walk to the club whenever it felt like the time to go dance in the black lights. After a thorough shower – which yes, included bottom prep –, Shane had opted for his favorite black tank top, accessorizing it with a necklace he made out of some old glow sticks that he had found in his desk drawer. His jeans were tight and highlighted his round ass; Ilya had previously called them his “fuck me jeans” which … was on brand for tonight. For his finishing touches, Shane had subtly applied some cologne that he had nicked from Max (he always got the expensive ones that smelt like it, too) and styled his black hair into a kind of wet look with a swoopy middle part.
To Hayden’s credit, he actually whistled as soon as Shane left the bathroom and put on his New Balance sneakers in the hallway. “Jesus, if no guy hits on you within the first five minutes of you being there, I’ll eat my helmet next practice. You clean up nice, Hollzy!”
Shane blushed and got his jacket from the wardrobe hooks by the door. “No need for that. Have a great night!”
”Text me, if you’re bringing someone back here”, Hayden shouted as he disappeared into the living room. And then there was nothing left to do but text Ilya and leave.
When Shane got to Lowtides, Ilya was actually already there. He lived closer to the bar, sure, but still, he must have left before Shane even had put on his shoes. He was talking to some guy Shane had never seen before, smoothing down his curls where they gathered at the nape of his neck. His broad shoulders and muscular back were hardly covered up by the tiny gray tank top he was wearing. Ilya actually looked sinfully sexy tonight and Shane doubted himself for a few seconds that he’d even be able to look at anyone else. But no, Shane really couldn’t go down this road. He has had enough crushes on straight guys in high school, there was no need to continue this trend in college, although Ilya physically was everything Shane liked in a guy. Like even his ass was unfairly plump for a straight dude and looked good enough to bite in those ripped Levi’s that definitely were Ilya’s favorite because he wore them all the time.
“Already checking out the vibe, I see”, Shane said in a way of greeting as he approached Ilya who had just finished talking to the tall and dark haired guy.
Ilya turned around and assessed Shane, his eyes going up and down his body. “You made it, Hollander. And you look hot, well done.”
”Don’t infantilize me, Rozanov. I’ve gotten laid before and only need a little help picking them, alright?”, he growled and immediately hated the way he had just walked into that one. But if anyone could ragebait him, it was Ilya. He had a gift for it, just as his cunning chirps on the ice were yet to be matched by anyone else’s Shane has ever encountered. While speaking a second language, no less.
“Let’s get you a drink first”, Ilya offered and made his way over to the bar. Shane stuck closely by his side, crowds weren’t really his thing and neither was getting drunk. But Ilya had a point, he needed to look cool and approachable. Having a drink in his hand would definitely help with that. He decided on a Moscow Mule and clinked glasses with Ilya.
“To finding a top and having him fuck you into the mattress”, Ilya grinned and downed his Tequila before biting into his lime.
”Jesus, Ilya–“, Shane spluttered, but took a sip of his drink anyway. Ilya had wanted him to take a shot, too, but there may or may not have been a Tequila incident in Shane’s freshman year that was still all too memorable. Just the thought of it made him gag – and even on his knees with 8 inches down his throat he usually didn’t gag. Not that he would advertise this story to Ilya. Although he may know more about his sex life now than anyone else not directly involved in it, Shane was not that shameless.
“It’s what you want, no?” Ilya was already searching the crowd, craning his neck, his shoulder muscles flexing under the straps of the tank top.
“Okay, yeah, but like no need to announce it to the entire bar … and say it like that”, Shane grumbled, but also took a look around. Lowtides was already packed. There were quite a few people who clearly were also going to Neon Night after, some had even put on stripes of fluorescent color on their cheeks and there was a girl with a glowing braid. Shane wondered how she’d done that, but Ilya was already pointing out a blonde guy with broad shoulders and a nice face.
“What about him? Maybe he’s straight, but could be bi.” Ilya was already half way across the room to talk the guy, when Shane dragged him back by his belt loops.
“What are you doing, dude?”, he hissed. “Are you just gonna ask him if he’s bi and a top and if he would wanna fuck your friend?”
Ilya laughed. “I mean, that would work. But you know, I could also just flirt with him a little to see if I catch a vibe.”
Shane gulped. A straight guy flirting with another very likely straight guy just to see if he’d like to fuck his gay friend – Ilya truly was an agent of chaos. “Have you flirted with a lot of guys before, then?”, enquiring minds (meaning Shane’s and Shane’s alone) wanted to know.
“I flirt with you almost every day, Hollander”, Ilya deadpanned and shook his head as if he was disappointed. “No wonder you need help with this, if you haven’t noticed that either.”
“But you’re just doing it to rile me up and be a menace. There’s no like actual intent behind it”, Shane argued.
“Maybe not, but it’s still flirting. And watching you squirm is one of my favorite past times”, Ilya smirked. “So I’ve had a decent amount of practice.”
Shane loved how comfortable Ilya was in his own skin. It was incredibly attractive. He really didn’t discriminate when it came to being a little shit to his teammates (in fact, he teased the only two queer guys the most, now that Shane thought about it, but it was obvious he did it because he was fond of them – although he would never admit so regarding Scott) and always took it as a compliment whenever a guy hit on him.
“Okay, whatever. Go for it, but don’t be surprised if he wants your cookie instead.” Two could play that game, Shane thought, although he knew he was definitely losing this round. But he was not going to give up just yet.
Ilya slapped his own ass as he turned to make his way over to Mr. Tall and Blonde. “It’s a good cookie, Hollander. What can I say?”
Shane rolled his eyes as he watched him go, but secretly, he was smiling and just hiding it behind his Moscow Mule. He took another sip as he observed Ilya approach and flirt with the guy he had picked out. He was pretty much Shane’s type down to a T. He had blonde, slightly curly hair, high cheek bones and amazing biceps that stretched the sleeves of his dark blue shirt. On his right arm there was a tattoo that Shane couldn’t quite make out in the darkness of the bar, but it looked hot. Still, compared to Ilya, the guy almost seemed a little short and his shoulders were definitely slimmer than Rozanov’s, too.
Ilya was looking at him with sparkling eyes – how the hell did he do that – and even put a hand on his bicep as he talked to him. If the guy didn’t fold at that, he was definitely straight, Shane couldn’t stop himself from thinking. Ilya wouldn’t necessarily have to be the guy’s type for that. But maybe he actually was, if you were looking closely at Mr. Blonde’s body language, he had turned both his feet toward Ilya and didn’t back away from his close stance either. Just as Shane downed the rest of his drink, however, Ilya smiled clearly afflicted and suddenly walked away and back to the bar.
“What happened? He actually seemed kind of into it, until, well, you were not”, Shane realized.
“He definitely gave me a vibe, but not a good one”, Ilya said. “Even if he’s queer or whatever, that guy is bad news.”
”Rozanov”, Shane sighed. “I just need to get laid, not marry him.”
“Is not so hot when you find out he has a nazi tattoo, though, right?” Ilya’s eyes darkened. “I didn’t see it at first because his sleeve was covering up some of it. But he definitely has ‘1488’ tattooed on his right bicep.”
And yeah, that made Shane speechless and a literal shiver creeped down his spine. Why did the bouncers even let that guy in? There were plenty people of color at this bar and Shane suddenly not only felt embarrassed, but also very unsafe. He looked back over to the guy and saw the group of people he was talking to. All white, of course. This is why putting yourself out there was not only hard, but actually dangerous.
”Come on, we go now.” Ilya gently guided Shane through the crowd. He must have seen the fear in his eyes. Shane just followed him and was glad that his friend went straight for the exit. “Didn’t know this bar was frequented by white supremacists now”, he said as they walked past the bouncer and out into the cold night. Shane didn’t hear if the bouncer replied anything, he was just happy to be able to somewhat breathe again.
“Let’s go.” Ilya grabbed Shane’s hand and tugged him along, down the street where he only let go of him when they turned another corner and were out of sight of the bar. “I’m sorry, Shane. This was not the night I planned. I understand if you wanna go home.”
“This is not your fault, like at all. But it fucking sucks.” Shane breathed in the cold November air and watched Ilya light a cigarette. He didn’t know why, but still feeling the warmth of Ilya’s hand in his, he suddenly felt calm again. Watching Rozanov blow smoke swiftly up into the sky, too, was also very soothing.
“I know, I know. But no need for lecture now, I’ll quit tomorrow”, Ilya tried to lighten the mood, but Shane noticed how clenched the corner of his mouth was as he took another drag.
“We shouldn’t let this stop us. There’s still a full night ahead of us to flirt and dance and find someone to go home with”, Shane declared and just because he could, he took the Marlboro from Ilya’s lips, put it between his own and let the smoke fill his lungs. As it turned out, this was a terrible idea and he started coughing at once. So much for looking unbothered and cool.
“You should stick to sucking matcha latte straws and dicks, you’re awful at this”, Ilya laughed and stole his cigarette back. “But good, the glow sticks were like 3 dollars, would be a waste.”
He got the small package out of the front pocket of his jeans and started assembling a necklace for himself and a second one for Shane as well as a couple of bracelets. “All the colors of the rainbow for you tonight”, he said as he closed the colorful assortment around Shane’s neck. Shane felt his warm breath next to his temple and felt a little more confident again. He could do this. He would not have prepped in vain because he was going to find a good strong top that definitely wasn’t a nazi at the club.
“Now, you look perfect”, Ilya said satisfied. “Glowing like you’re pregnant.”
Shane huffed out a laugh and slapped Ilya’s arm with a yellow glow stick. “I’d need to have sex first, unless my name’s Maria now.”
“Don’t you worry, my friend. We will get you knocked up tonight”, Ilya said with a shit eating grin on his face.
✨🪩
It was loud and dark in the club and the floor was so sticky that Shane had even more trouble to move his stupid feet to the beat. The black lights and a sea of glow sticks were the only source of light, the music made the dance floor vibrate and a film of sweat stuck to Shane’s skin.
“I’ll go get another drink”, Shane announced to Ilya who was dancing next to him. It always surprised Shane how well he knew how to move his hips; usually broad muscular guys like him just stiffly sidestepped to the bassline. Well, that was what Shane was doing, anyways, and he felt so awkward and judged for it. But Ilya hadn’t said a word and just kept dancing, well, maybe even trying to show Shane how to grind a little. And he guessed that worked out better because now people were actually noticing them despite the woozy light. The reason why Shane wanted to get another drink, however, was because he didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings. He wasn’t here to grind on Ilya, he was here to meet a guy to take home. Although once, when Shane bucked his ass a little further into Ilya’s crotch than intended, something hard had grazed his cheek. Must have been Ilya’s belt buckle. But what if it wasn’t? This was so confusing. He never should’ve agreed to having Ilya play his wingman. Now all he did was compare potential candidates to him. When they stood there, side by side, no one stood a chance.
“No, no, Hollander. Next one will get you shitfaced.” Ilya shook his head and one of his curls got stuck to his sweaty forehead. “And when you’re drunk, you can’t give consent, yes?”
Shane hated being such a lightweight. Despite his build, it only took him a few drinks to be completely off his face because he never made a habit out of drinking. So, yeah, Ilya was right, another cocktail would push him down a path of no return, and as turned he just spotted a handsome guy with dark hair, a full beard and a backwards hat decorated with glow sticks. His kind of lumberjack. Actually, that guy looked a lot like Cliff Marleau –
“Marly!”, Ilya shouted and was already gone, moving through the mass of bodies towards their teammate. Shane just wanted to sink into a hole and die. Why did all the hot guys have to be Otters? Ilya, Cliff, Hayden when he kept his mouth shut …
“Roz? And Hollzy? When did you get here?” Cliff wrapped an arm around Ilya’s shoulders and gave Shane a fist bump who was questioning his life choices. Or taste in men. Probably both.
“We’ve been here a minute already, but shit’s so dark I can’t even see my own feet”, Ilya yelled as the bass dropped and the crowd around them went wild.
“That’s kinda the point. You just gotta feel it.” Cliff made a weird circle motion with his hips and at least now, Shane didn’t find him all that attractive anymore.
“But we’re here on a mission and I need to actually see something to get Hollander laid.” As soon as those words left Ilya’s mouth, Shane jabbed his elbow into his ribs. Why couldn’t he ever shut up?
Shane blushed, but at least he was sure no one could see it. “Ilya is just helping me sort out the bad apples”, he tried to explain himself.
“Well, guys are assholes, so I get it, Hollzy. Good for you for getting out there”, Cliff replied graciously and clapped him once on the shoulder. “Anything in particular you’re looking for? What about an Otter?”
Shane was stunned. It was like his heart actually dropped out of his fucking ass. What the fuck was happening? Was Cliff propositioning? Didn’t he have a girlfriend? Or did he see the way Shane had just looked at Ilya while they were dancing?
“What? No! Why would I wanna fuck a teammate?”, he stammered and he wasn’t so sure the black lights were still able to hide his crimson cheeks now.
“Jesus, no!”, Cliff burst out and gestured with his hands. “I mean like a slim, hairy guy. Like a bear but more like a twink. Is that not right?”
“What the hell are you on about, Marly?”, Ilya intervened.
But finally, for Shane the penny dropped. “Oooh, I’ve actually never used that term before. How’d you know about that?”
“My sister is like obsessed with gay men. She once made a family quiz about queer slang and famous gay couples”, Marly shouted over the music. “Because apparently, we were ‘uneducated and homophobic’ for not knowing what a kiki is.”
“I don’t even know what that is and I’m actually gay”, Shane grumbled.
“But not very good at it. You have terrible gaydar and didn’t even tell your best friend that we had a queer coded team name”, Ilya pouted. “I wanna know the lore! Like what is a bear then and are we in a gay-off with the Boston Bears?”
Best friend? When did that happen? Not that he was complaining. High school Shane would’ve been stunned though. Best friends with the hottest guy on the team.
“Bears are just like big hairy guys”, Cliff supplied. “And I guess next time we’re in Boston we should ask the Bears to kiki with us. Like have a little gay party.”
“I’m sure they’re gonna love that suggestion”, Shane said dryly, but secretly, he was enjoying this. Marly may have been kind of forced into it by his sister, but he still cared enough to remember something he had learned about queer culture. He was a good egg and Shane was glad he felt so safe around his team and had come out to them as soon as he joined freshman year.
“I don’t think Hollander likes bears or otters, though”, Ilya said now. “He’s more into … hunks?”
“Of course you are, Hollzy. If he can’t manhandle you like the opponent’s defenseman, it’s not really all that fun, right?”, Cliff smirked.
Shane didn’t even know what to reply to that. It was not untrue. While getting smashed into the boards didn’t make him hard, he did like it when a guy threw him around a little. Like on the bed, or anywhere else soft.
Ilya must have noticed Shane’s embarrassment because he quickly quipped: “Been thinking a lot about your assistant captain’s sex life, have you, Marly? As if he’d ever touch you with a ten foot pole.”
Marly just laughed and lifted his hands in a peace offering as he backed away. “I’m gonna leave you to it now. Roz clearly hasn’t set you up yet, Hollzy. Don’t let him get off easy!”
“Scout’s honor!”, Shane replied and silently hoped that Cliff wouldn’t ask him about the results at practice on Monday. He had a creeping feeling that he’d be going home alone today, too. Going out with Ilya had been fun though apart from the incident at Lowtides. Ilya had tried to set him up with a couple of guys after they had gotten to Inferno, but they didn’t really hit the mark and when Shane had shown interest in a big latino guy with a bunch of tattoos, Ilya was sure from just looking at him that he was straight. So Shane trusted his judgment and did not even bother to go talk to him and, just like they were doing now, went back to dancing and throwing glow sticks into the air as the beat dropped again.
By the time it was 1:30am, Shane was fully sober again, but sweaty and exhausted. He texted Hayden when he went to the washroom.
“I think I’m done for the night”, Shane declared when he got back to Ilya who was smoking a cigarette out back by the rooftop bar. There were very few people around as the temperature had dropped significantly the last few weeks. It was freezing and Shane could see Ilya shivering in his flimsy tank top. “But you can stay. At least one of us can still get laid tonight.”
He had noticed a dark haired girl with amazing neon make-up watching Ilya basically all night. Just because Shane had failed to pick up, didn’t mean Ilya should miss out, too. But apparently, Ilya didn’t see it like that.
“No, I’m leaving with you. And I’m sorry, Hollander.” Ilya put his cigarette out and blew one last smoke ring into the starry night. “I didn’t realize how dark it would be at the club, but what I really don’t get is why guys are not queuing up for you around the whole damn block. You’re one sexy motherfucker. And cute. Like maybe even funny, unintentionally sometimes, but still.”
“Wow”, Shane mocked, but in truth it felt incredible to hear Ilya call him sexy and cute. He wasn’t the type of guy to just say so because he pitied Shane. “And no worries, man. I’ll just develop a porn addiction or try out those smutty romance novels that Kip keeps recommending instead.”
“See? You are funny”, Ilya laughed and slung one arm around Shane. “But we’re not giving up just yet.”
“We are not?”, Shane asked dumbfounded.
“Nope”, Ilya said and let the P pop in his mouth like a gum bubble. “I have an idea, but let’s get out of here first.”
✨🪩
“Is this your genuis idea? Walking me home?”, Shane asked when they were only a few streets away from his and Hayden’s apartment. He tightly wrapped his jacket around himself, he really should have opted for his coat. But who was he to complain when Ilya was still just in his tank top and ripped jeans? He could’ve gone home straight from the club, it would’ve been a lot closer, but no, here Ilya was, ominously quiet and walking Shane to his apartment instead.
“Part of it, yes”, he replied.
“Okay?” Shane didn’t understand how that could possibly add up to him still getting thoroughly fucked tonight, but Ilya didn’t offer up any further explanation. “So, what’s the pla–”
“Do you find me attractive?”, Ilya interrupted him and suddenly stopped walking. His warm breath stood like small clouds in the air. “Like would you wanna fuck me? Or rather have me fuck you?”
“What?”, Shane stuttered. “I–”
“I know, I’ve joked about this before. But I’m actually serious now.” Ilya’s piercing blue eyes found Shane’s. “If you want, I can fuck you.”
“But you’re …” Shane hardly managed to get out any words. He tried to collect himself. What the hell was Rozanov doing? Was this some kind of sick joke? “You’re straight. Why would you wanna do that? I don’t need your pity.”
“No, no, that’s not what this is”, Ilya insisted and stepped a little closer. The night was so quiet around them. “I don’t pity you. I just think you’re way too hot to not to get laid when you want, and I’m offering.”
“That’s literally the textbook definition of pity”, Shane spat quietly. How did this night go to shit so fast? Had Ilya only offered to be his wingman out of pity, too?
“Blyat, I’m terrible at explaining this.” Ilya clearly was in loss for words and wrung his hands before he tried again. “Okay. I’m not only suggesting this so you get laid. I’ve just been curious. Like I’ve tried basically anything but this. And we’re in college and you know, we like each other, right?”
“So it wouldn’t be a pity fuck, but I’d be your ‘gay experience’ you’d one day tell your son about when you suspect he might be queer?” Shane didn’t know if that made it any better.
“No, I mea– I don’t know. I’m not thinking that far. But I do really think I’d enjoy fucking you.” Ilya shrugged. “But if you don’t want me or don’t see me that way that’s okay.”
“That’s not what I’m saying”, Shane argued and welp – he just walked right into that one. Did Ilya just actually rage bait him into admitting that yes, he very much saw him that way? “I mean of course I’m attracted to you, you’re like the hottest guy on campus and you know it.” There we go, anyone would say so, right?
“So what’s the hangup? I don’t understand this, Shane. It’s a win for you because I’m a strong top like you want and it’s a win for me because I get my dick wet and tick off something from my list.” Ilya brushed a curl away from his eyes and tucked it behind his ear.
“Is there actually a list?”, Shane asked incredulously.
“No, not a literal one at least. But it’s been on my mind”, Ilya admitted.
Shane really needed a minute to process all of this. He started walking again, in five minutes he’d be home and then, yeah, then what? Shane turned back around to where Ilya was still standing, hesitating whether to follow or leave Shane alone.
“Are you coming or not?” This wasn’t how their night was supposed to end. Shane didn’t know how it should, but definitely not like this. With Ilya freezing his balls off in the dark streets of Ottawa after he actually kind of confessed something vulnerable about him.
“So what are you say–”, Ilya started when he caught up with him again.
“Wouldn’t it be like super weird?”, Shane interrupted him because why not try being honest for a start. Okay, maybe not too honest. There was no reason why Ilya should learn that Shane had imagined them fucking on his couch earlier this week. But other than that he had nothing to hide. Probably.
“I’ve had plenty of anal sex, Shane. With women, yes, but it won’t be that different”, Ilya said and matched Shane’s steps.
“But you do know that I have a cock, right? And no boobs.”
“I’d argue about the boobs because your pecs are actually quite impressive”, Ilya teased. “But yes, I do know that you have a dick. It’s nice.”
“Nice?!”
“Da. Like perfectly sized and for all I know you may be still be a grower. I’ve never actually seen you get hard in the showers or locker room”, Ilya said nonchalantly.
“What the fuck? Are you looking at me when I’m naked?” Shane was baffled. While he tried so hard not to look at any of his teammates while they were in various stages of undress in front of him, Ilya apparently was just enjoying the show.
“Of course I am. I’m looking at all the guys. Pretty sure Hazy has the biggest cock on the team.”
And naturally that’d be the reason why Ilya was ogling everyone’s naked bodies. “You’re a pervert.”
”Exactly.” And Ilya was so fucking smug about it, too. “But back to your nice dick. I don’t think I’ll mind it. Like once, I slept with this trans girl, right? And she still had a cock, but didn’t want me to touch it. So obviously I didn’t, but if she had asked me to, I definitely would have.”
This was actually the wildest night of Shane’s life. And he hadn’t even decided whether to take Ilya up on that offer or not. “But you’re straight, are you not? Or you could be bisexual?”
“Could be, but no, I don’t think so. I’m just a sexual person in general.” As if Shane hadn’t noticed.
They finally turned the corner to Shane’s apartment. This was it. If he invited Ilya up that would be a decision he couldn’t – or rather wouldn’t back away from. As soon as Ilya crossed that threshold, Shane knew that he wouldn’t be able to say no anymore. The couch which he wanted to be bend over would be right there, and Ilya and his chiseled jawline and his abs that Shane always had wanted to lick. Fuck.
They were doing this.
It was insane and irresponsible. But it was too late already. They had crossed that line as soon as Ilya had so blatantly asked Shane if he wanted Ilya to fuck him.
“Okay”, Shane stated. “But only this once, yeah? I don’t want it to mess with our friendship or the team. And not a fucking word to any of them.”
Ilya smiled softly. “I don’t want that either. And I promise, no, I’ll make sure you won’t regret this.” He shuffled closer as Shane stuck his key into the door. Ilya’s chest was touching Shane’s back now. “You’ll come so hard, you'll see stars beyond our galaxy tonight, Hollander”, he whispered into Shane’s ear, his hot breath reddening Shane’s cheeks.
Ilya must have noticed the way Shane first stilled and then almost moaned and threw his head back to have Ilya gnaw at his neck because he devilishly quipped: “Oh, so you like poetic dirty talk. What a cliche you are. Want your straight friend to fuck you with his big Russian cock and wax lyrics about it, too.”
“Oh my god, please stop”, Shane groaned and pushed him through the front door.
The elevator, like always, was out of order, so they rushed up the stairs instead. As soon as they stepped into the apartment, Shane motioned for Ilya to take off his shoes, kicked off his own and made sure Hayden was actually out. And thank god that he was because Ilya decided to just stick his tongue down Shane’s throat right then and there in the hallway. He crowded him against the wall, one hand clasping around his chin as he leaned in. Shane was pretty sure he was going to black out. Ilya Rozanov was actually kissing him. With tongue, like full on making out. A moan escaped Shane’s lips as he grabbed onto Ilya’s curls, drawing him in closer. “Fucking hell, Rozanov. Are you sure I’m your first guy?”
At that, Ilya ‘stone faced Russian’ Rozanov giggled. “I have made out with others before, just not fucked.” He leaned in to kiss Shane again, his lips almost soft now, pressing sweetly onto Shane’s until his tongue sloppily made his way back inside Shane’s eager mouth. “But maybe you’re the first I actually wanted to kiss. The others were mainly because girls thought it was hot.”
Sure. Because that’s what guys like Ilya who could have any girl anyway did on the reg. But there was no time to process any of this, as Ilya’s hand suddenly came down to the front of Shane’s jeans. He rubbed his crotch where his half erect cock was pressing against the seam. “Bet you would’ve jerked off to it, too. Or is two guys kissing not enough for you? Do you need a warm mouth to fully grow hard?”
Swiftly, Ilya popped open the first and second button of Shane’s jeans, before he unceremoniously shoved his hand into his pants and down his briefs. “Fuck”, Shane panted as Ilya’s hand wrapped around his thickening cock. “I mean if you’re offering …”
“I sure am.” And with that he sunk down on his knees and tugged Shane’s jeans and underwear all the way down until they pooled around his ankles. His cock stirred as Ilya’s warm breath brushed past it and grew to its full size, hard and heavy, as soon as Ilya wrapped his hand back around it, giving it an experimental tug.
“Shit”, Shane moaned and had to close his eyes briefly. But as he opened them again, seeing Ilya down there on his knees, curls a mess and lips already a little raw and plump, was still very much real. Ilya leaned further in and let his tongue tentatively run along the vein underneath Shane’s cock, licking his way up to the head, before sucking the redend tip fully into his mouth. His left hand was still tugging at the base when he swirled his tongue around the head once more, before taking the cock as deep as he could into his throat, nuzzling his nose into Shane’s trimmed pubic hair.
The hot mouth around his cock felt incredible as it was, but as Ilya started to bop his head and earnestly so, too, Shane found it hard to believe that this was his first time sucking dick. “Holy shi–“, he panted. “Ilya, fuck, you gotta stop or I’m gonna –“ Shane pulled him off his cock and a string of drool drew its way from Ilya’s swollen lips to the glistening head of Shane’s cock. He looked absolutely sinful. “I don’t wanna come yet, holy shit. How are you so good at this?”
“I’m just doing what I like when someone goes down on me”, Ilya shrugged. “But is good, yes?” And before Shane could even so much as nod, Ilya’s hands were already back on Shane’s body, this time tugging at the hem of his tank top. Shane promptly lifted his arms and let Ilya’s hands roam over his abs as he took the top off. How unfair that Ilya was still fully clothed, but nothing could be done about that for now because Ilya ducked down and just when Shane thought he’d take him in his mouth again, Ilya grabbed onto Shane’s thighs and threw him over his shoulder like he weighed nothing. “What –“, he gasped as his jeans and briefs fell to the floor, leaving a trail as Ilya manhandled Shane through the door frame to the bedroom. “Your room is this one, right?”
And Jesus, if Ilya throwing him on the bed and immediately crawling up to his pecs, licking his right nipple until it was so sensitive that Shane started panting, wasn’t the hottest thing that has ever happened to him. But as Ilya sealed his mouth with a filthy kiss, pressing his body onto Shane’s, rutting against his thigh as his legs just fell open, Shane had a terrible realization. His entire body must be still drenched in sweat from the club and it had been hours since he prepped, too. He wasn’t loose enough for Ilya to just shove his undoubtedly massive cock up there.
“Shit, fuck. Hang on, Ilya”, he panted and clutched onto the back of Ilya’s neck to still him. “I need to clean up a little first. Can you hold on for like ten minutes?”
“What? Did you not prep before going out?” Ilya looked at him incredulously, but immediately stopped humping Shane’s leg.
“No, I did. But I’m so sweaty and need to … loosen it up a bit again”, Shane said embarrassed.
Ilya still seemed confused. “You’re gonna sweat a lot more in a minute or two, Hollander. And I can finger you open.” He cradled his cheek and tilted his head so Shane had no choice but to look right into his eyes. “In fact, I insist. I wanna see your tight little hole before I use and ruin it.”
A silent groan escaped Shane’s lips. This dirty talk was really doing it for him. Why had he and Max never done this? But nope, not going down that road right now. Especially not, when he had a god-like man on top of him, grinding his hips to meet Shane’s. The roughness of Ilya’s Levi’s helped Shane to calm a bit down and focus on a new task: finally getting Ilya naked, too. Impatiently, he fiddled with Ilya’s belt buckle and yanked down the zipper of his jeans. “Okay, but first, you get naked too, so I know what we’re working with here.”
Ilya stripped off both his jeans and the gray top, his cross necklace springing free from its hem and catching a reflection of the dim light on Shane’s bedside table. “Have you not looked at it before?”, he asked as he hesitated to pull down his briefs as well.
Even through the black material Shane could see the outline of Ilya’s hard cock – and it looked massive. Slowly, he shook his head. “No, not really. Unlike you, I’m trying not to perv on anyone in the locker room.”
A sly smile appeared on Ilya’s lips as he sat up to slowly pull his underwear down. “Well, you’re in for a little surprise then”, he said at the exact moment his thick cock sprung free and, glistening with precum, slapped against his lower abdomen. But wait, there was something even more shiny stuck through its head.
“What the fu–”, Shane gasped at the sight of the golden barbell vertically pierced through Ilya’s uncut glans.
Ilya moved his right hand to the base of his thick cock and carefully dragged it upwards until he reached the piercing. “It’s gonna feel so good, Shane. I promise. Do you wanna touch it?”
Shane gulped. The thought of not only Ilya’s thick cock stretching him, but also the barbell pounding into him, made his belly flip and turn. A soaring ache pulled at his gut. He was painfully hard now, leaking all over his lower abdomen. “Yes”, he finally whimpered, but couldn’t draw his eyes away from Ilya’s cock to meet his eyes.
“Go on then”, Ilya encouraged him. “Touch it, pull it, lick it, suck it. I love all of it. Was best decision of my life so far.”
And Shane needn’t be told twice. He robbed closer until he was literally head to head with Ilya’s cock. Carefully, he let a finger tip circle around one end of the barbell, before he leaned forwards to softly take it into his mouth. The cold metal felt heavenly on his tongue, especially when he further explored Ilya’s uncut cock which was pumping with heat. When Shane took the full head past his lips, the ends of the barbells dragged along the walls of his warm mouth. Ilya’s cock filled him all the way until it hit the back of Shane’s throat. Ilya was panting on top of him now and slowly started fucking into Shane’s mouth. “You like that, don’t you? Having your mouth so full that you’re gonna choke. Makes me wanna fuck your brains out.”
Shane felt another pull in his gut, when Ilya pressed in further, actually making him choke on it, so that he had to come up for some air before he panted: “You’re so fucking hot. I need you to ruin me. Split me wide open on your cock and barbell.”
Ilya threw his head back with a groan, his chest was already shiny with sweat when he once more fed his cock into Shane’s eager mouth. “If these stupid gays only knew how well you can take it.” One of his hands gripped onto Shane’s hair, pulling him faster and faster onto his cock. “One of them really should’ve locked you down. But now I get to fuck your sweet little face and use your hole instead.”
At that, Shane felt his hole clench, and there was no fucking way he could cope with not feeling Ilya inside of it for another minute. He let Ilya’s cock flop out of his mouth, turned fully around to face the headboard and fumbled for the lube in his bedside drawer. He threw the bottle as well as a condom at Ilya who easily caught both in the air. “Then fucking get to it already”, Shane grumbled, got on his hands and knees and arched his back so Ilya was already almost lined up with his clenching heat. “Open me up and fuck me so I can still feel it at practice on Monday.”
Shane heard Ilya curse something in Russian and then pop open the cap of the lube. Soon he felt both of Ilya’s hands spreading his cheeks apart and heard him draw in a breath: “Fuck, Hollander. Such a perfect tight little hole.”
Next, there was a lube slick finger prodding at his entrance, gently massaging its way past the rim. Just as Ilya’s first knuckle sunk down into the heat and slowly opened him up, there suddenly was something else being pushed inside. Shane first thought it was a second digit, but as Ilya pulled it out again and began lapping at his hole, Shane’s cock began pulsing with heat at the realization that Ilya was fucking rimming him. A straight guy who not only stuck his tongue down his throat, but also down his hole like it was just another wet pussy for him to lick. Shane was just a moaning, babbling mess by now. “Oh my fuck–, keep doing that … please, shi–, fucking me open so well.”
Ilya had started to eat him out for real now. Combining two digits with his agile tongue, he scissored and licked and fucked Shane’s hole open until it was drenched in lube and spit.
“How’d you want me then?”, he finally asked and Shane could hear him rip the condom wrapper open. He chanced a quick glance over his shoulder to see Ilya slowly rolling the condom down his still rigid cock. The barbell piercing disappeared under the rubber but he could still somewhat see its ends shining through the ultrasensitive material.
Shane hadn’t really thought about this part yet. His brain was still trying to catch up, and while he had imagined Ilya bending him over the couch earlier this week, the dimly lit bedroom was perfect for now. There was no way in hell Shane’d be able to look into Ilya’s eyes as his cock first entered him. He was already in lust, he did not need to fall in love with his straight teammate, too. “Let’s start with doggy. And you can be a little rough about it, I won’t break.”
“Oh, I know”, Ilya grunted and set one of his feet next to Shane’s hip, fully lining himself up now. “I’m gonna make you remember this forever.” And then he fed his cock into Shane’s hole, pushing it past its rim and driving it forward with a powerful thrust until he was fully seated inside of Shane.
“Gah–”, Shane panted as he felt Ilya filling him out, the barbell dragging at his walls and Ilya’s balls slapping against his rim as he bucked his hips again, this time in a more calculated way that made Shane wanna rip his own skin off. “Jesus Christ, just fuck me already.”
Ilya bottomed out, grabbed onto Shane’s lower abdomen, digging into his flesh there and pulled him back onto his cock, grunting as he met Shane’s hips with a violent thrust. A scream formed itself in Shane’s throat but it never made it past his lips. It got muffled by Ilya forcefully pressing Shane down into the mattress as he kept pounding into him. Shane drooled onto the sheets with Ilya’s hand firm at the back his neck, keeping his head down and his back arched. Ilya slammed his cock inside of him again and again with a quickening pace, the piercing catching onto Shane’s rim and soon making him feel raw and sore and fucked open.
This was pure madness. And so much more than he had ever imagined. The rawness, the almost animalistic drive as Ilya kept pounding into him, was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. And then there was the barbell, suddenly hitting his prostate so dead on that Shane felt his eyes roll into the back of his head and his mind fully shut itself off. He felt limb and useless, just taking whatever Ilya was giving him. “Fuck, right there – yes, yes, yes. Oh my god, please, just please”, he senselessly babbled and begged.
”Blyat, your hole is so tight, I’m gonna come way too fast like this, Hollander.” Ilya suddenly slowed down and pulled him up and roughly into his lap while he knelt on the bed. With his cock still seated inside of Shane, Ilya started pumping Shane’s abandoned dick with one hand while the other started playing with his balls. “Such a perfect hole, such a perfect cock. How is it possible to be this fucking perfect, hm?”
“I am … not”, Shane whimpered and could feel the orgasm building inside of him as Ilya spat on his hand and firmly kept jerking him off. “Always need someone to fill me. Like a horny little …slut.”
Ilya groaned and involuntarily bucked his hips at that, driving his cock deeper into Shane’s heat. “Yeah? Is that what you are? A horny little slut? Just letting your fellow assistant captain use your loose little hole?”
”Yes, yes, yes”, Shane whined and started rolling and bucking his hips, before full on bouncing on Ilya’s cock. The cold metal of the piercing was digging into his flesh and then there was just white noise. He came all over Ilya’s tight fist, clenching around his cock and throwing his head back as he just kept bouncing until he felt raw and split open.
“Yobany v rot, you’re so fucking hot, Shane”, Ilya cursed and let go of Shane’s sensitive cock. He brought his hand to his mouth, licking off some of the cum and swallowing it with a hum before feeding Shane two of his fingers. Shane swirled his tongue around the digits, letting Ilya fuck his mouth with them, letting him feed him his own cum. “Such a good fucking slut.”
Shane just smiled blissfully and arched his back a little more to meet Ilya’s mouth halfway when he drew him in for a sloppy kiss.
“So, so good”, Ilya kept praising and gently pushed Shane fully back down on his hands and knees again. “Just clench your loose hole a little more now and hold on tight.”
That was all the warning Shane got, before Ilya violently started pounding into him. He bend his body over Shane’s so that his golden necklace brushed against Shane’s back with every thrust, setting him just on the edge of fully losing his mind by how close they were now and not just connected by the cock driving into him. Both ends of the barbell kept popping in and out of Shane’s hole with a deliciously wet sound and although Shane started to feel overstimulated Ilya just kept going and going, grunting and panting and chasing his own orgasm like Shane was just a warm tight hole for him to use.
And what if he were? Just a good hole for Ilya to fuck. This was beyond any sex Shane has ever had, so he was happy to be used, to be ruined by Ilya’s thick cock.
Shane felt so drunk, just hearing the slapping sounds of Ilya’s balls against his cheeks, that he almost missed the way Ilya drove his cock even deeper inside his heat until he came with a shout on his lips and shaking legs, releasing himself into the condom.
For a minute or two, it felt like the world was spinning and neither of them moved. Shane felt Ilya’s cock growing limp inside of him, but still, he felt so full and couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to be fucked by him without a condom. To be filled with his cum, to feel the drag of the bellbar without anything between his heat and the cold metal. If there was any which way this night could be topped, it would be if Ilya ever fucked him again and went in raw that time around.
“Fucking hell, you killed me, Hollander”, Ilya panted and finally pulled out, clutching onto the full condom.
Shane was so blissed out that he just rolled onto his back, staring straight into Ilya’s electric blue eyes. Which was a huge mistake because Ilya immediately looked away, stood up and carefully tied a knot at the end of the condom, while Shane realized something terrible: He was never gonna feel this way again. No future hookup, no future boyfriend would be able to measure up.
Ilya Rozanov was it for him, in every way, and Shane would never be able to call him his.