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Jin wakes up in Bergen, Norway, and instead of Namjoon, Jungkook is lying next to him. He remembers using his hyung powers to evict Namjoon out when he couldn’t take the snoring anymore but he doesn’t remember how Jungkook came to replace his roommate. It’s not like he’s surprised though, waking up with jungkook next to him on the bed or on the floor beside his bed has become a common occurrence that Jin treasures.
Because Jeon Jungkook, the one who is so eager to grow up and finally do all other adult things, somehow reverts back into who he was years ago when he’s with Jin. Meaning, he’s clingy, eager to please, always looking for a cuddle, and generally so precious that it makes Jin feel warm and fuzzy.
Absentmindedly, Jin strokes jungkook’s hair. He acknowledges however that just because Jungkook acts young doesn’t mean he’s as young as he was and Jin knows this because he was there before, during, and after puberty. Jungkook’s transformation yielded the result of a devastating chiseled figure with muscles on muscles on muscles (and those thighs, damn), a heart of gold, and a wicked sense of humor. Jungkook has grown and changed so much that Jin almost gets choked by how proud he is.
He doesn’t notice that he started squeezing Jungkook’s head until said person mumbles a complaint and rolls away from him. Jin flops back, arms spread like a starfish. As he watches the early sunlight dance on the ceiling, it makes him sad.. a little. That time is moving so fast. Because that means he’s growing older too. And the reality of what that means (military, injury prone body, declining fan base) is too scary.
“why do you look so serious this early?” Jungkook’s voice startles Jin from his thoughts. He turns his head and sees Jungkook laying on his side, staring at him through hooded eyes.
“It’s like 5 am hyung” Jungkook continues.
Jin sighs, turning his head back to look at the ceiling, “It’s nothing. Hyung’s just being sentimental and thinking about the good old days.”
Jungkook groans. “You’re such an old man. Let’s go back to sleep” he says and then proceeds to drag Jin into his arms for a cuddle.
“You can’t manhandle me like this just because you have big muscles. I’m still older than you.” Jin complains but snuggles in anyways as Jungkook makes shushing noises into his head.
“Such disrespect” Jin mumbles.
With Jungkook’s arms around him however, he’s cozy and warm and comfortable and you know what? Sleeping in for a few more hours sounds amazing.
Back in Korea and bombarded with a terrifyingly busy schedule, Jin finds himself under the snacks table, scrolling through his webcomic’s latest update, hiding from the stylist noona. There’s really no reason for why he’s being difficult, only that it’s been the same routine for the past few days and Jin might not be much of a rebel but he has his limits too.
“Hyung.”
Jin jumps in surprise, hitting his head on the table. He holds his head in pain and scowls at the figure now crouching next to him. Jungkook.
“You scared me” He pouts, rubbing his aching head. “My head’s like a baby’s you know.”
Jungkook shrugs and replaces Jin’s hands with his.
“Noona told me to get you” Jungkook says, fingers massaging Jin’s head. Contrary to his purpose, Jungkook doesn’t drag him out to deliver him to stylist noona but sits next to Jin, content with massaging him in silence.
They stay that way for a few minutes and Jin doesn’t realize half his body is lying on Jungkook’s lap until Jimin comes to the table and scowls down at them.
“Could you two please do that away from the food?”
“Could you do that away from the food” Jungkook mock copies Jimin’s words, voice pitched ridiculously high that it has Jin laughing into Jungkook's leg.
“Go away hyung” Jungkook dismisses Jimin, his focus back to massaging Jin, his hands now on Jin’s broad shoulders.
Jimin huffs, hands on his hips, “You two are gross and I don’t appreciate this blatant PDA.” he says and then promptly stomps off.
“He’s just jealous he’s not getting massaged.” Jin says consolingly to Jungkook who’s gone stiff at Jimin’s words.
Jungkook slowly relaxes, “...right.”
Jin pat’s Jungkook’s thigh and sighs in contentment, practically melding his body with the one below him when Jungkook resumes his massage.
Jin moans when Jungkook gets to a knot in his back. It must be a huge one judging by the strangled noise Jungkook makes.
“You’re so good at this” Jin moans out at another good press. He looks up and sees Jungkook’s eyes wide and glassy, teeth biting hard into his bottom lip. Jin opens his mouth to ask but lets out a grunt instead at Jungkook’s fingers digging into his back. He buries his head back down and resolves to enjoy the rest of his massage before noona comes after him with a vengeance and a blowdryer.
Its a few day later and they’re in their waiting room when someone knocks on their door. They’re one of the seniors now so it’s not a surprise that junior groups come to their waiting room to greet and give them their albums.
This time, it’s a rookie girl group. A pretty well known one. They have stars in their eyes despite the nervous tremor in their voice when they say their greeting. Jin can see more than one shy glance directed to his members. Especially the maknae line.
What captures his attention however, is the one girl in front of him. While the other members of both teams awkwardly exchange short conversation about the girl group’s album, the one in front of him approaches with halting steps to greet him personally.
Apparently her unnie is his classmate in one of his acting classes and he’s genuinely delighted because he got to be partners with the older sister for a workshop once.
“It’s such a small world” Jin says, looking down at her flushed face, “That’s really interesting.”
And Jungkook must think so too because he hasn’t left Jin’s side the entire time he was talking to her. Even making himself comfortable by draping an arm across Jin’s waist.
The girl glances quickly at Jungkook before looking back down. Must be a crush then, Jin decides. It doesn’t help that Jungkook’s staring at her so intensely too.
----
Minutes later, the group already left and Jin’s sitting on the make up chair, hands going over the choreo again just so he doesn’t forget.
“If you glared at that poor girl any harder she would’ve burst into flames” Jimin’s amused voice breaks Jin’s concentration.
“She looked like she was about to cry” Taehyung laughs and Jin frowns, hands stilling. What girl?
“She was being weird to Jin hyung. Who knows what she wanted” Jungkook defends himself.
“Ya! No girl will date you if you keep acting like Jin hyung’s guard dog” says Namjoon.
“I’m pretty sure Jungkook doesn’t want to date any girl” Hoseok says, making everyone but Jungkook and Jin laugh.
“He’s got someone special in mind” Taehyung teases, eyebrows waggling.
Jungkook scowls, face red. He pulls out his phone and proceeds to busy himself with it.
Jungkook looks up and meets Jin’s eyes but quickly looks back down, face getting redder.
Jin stares at him contemplatively for a moment, something heavy settling in his stomach, he turns to Yoongi who’s seated next to him. “Hey, does Jungkook like anyone?”
Yoongi snorts, “Ask him yourself.”
That wasn’t a no. Jin frowns. He doesn’t know why he’s so bothered by the thought of Jungkook dating. Maybe because Jungkook usually tells him everything but apparently not when it comes to this. That must be it.
It’s not a good feeling.
“Who is it?” he asks.
“Seriously?” Yoongi asks incredulously. Jin flaps his hands impatiently, of course he’s serious.
Yoongi rolls his eyes and raises his voice, “Hey Jungkook, Jin hyung wants to know who you like.”
Jungkook jerks his head up from his phone to stare at Yoongi then at Jin then back to Yoongi again. Horror dawning on his face.
“Seriously?” Hoseok asks Jin. Really, why is it so hard to believe that Jin wants to know?
“I-” Jungkook starts, looking around the room in panic.
Something in Jin melts. He could never stand seeing Jungkook in distress.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don't want to” he says gently.
Jungkook stares at him, mouth twisted uncomfortably but his eyes are now burning with intensity. He takes a deep breath and time seems to slow down as Jungkook clenches his fists in determination. All the members are staring at the two of them, holding their breath, and Jin doesn’t know why but his heart is beating so much faster.
Jungkook licks his lips, “I-”
Jin leans forward.
Jungkook stands up, “Hyung I-” He hears someone squeak from somewhere in his right.
He takes a deep, fortifying breath, “Seokjin hyung I-”
“Guys time to head off to the stage” Sejin hyung says, bursting from the door. The tense atmosphere breaks and Jungkook skitters away while everyone gets busy preparing.
Jimin groans, “So close.”
Namjoon’s shaking his head as he puts on his mic pack. They fall into uneasy silence, broken by the sound of Yoongi repeatedly slamming his head on the table.
Sejin hyung looks around noticing every detail as always. He sighs, arms crossed as if to brace himself from what he’s about to hear, “What happened?”
There’s a pause. Nobody’s sure what to say
“Well?” Sejin hyung asks, voice firming.
Jin clears his throat, feeling off balance for some reason, “Nothing hyung. I was just asking who Jungkook liked.”
Sejin hyung looks at Jungkook who went to a corner to escape, then to the members who look back at him with a wild look in their eyes, then back to Jin,
“Seriously?”
Jin corners Jungkook after their performance. Everyone’s getting changed to go back to the dorm but Jin doesn’t want to put this off for much longer. Every moment they spent in the same space had been unbelievably awkward and Jin remembers feeling heavy guilt every time he caught Jungkook staring at him only to turn away quickly, clearly uncomfortable.
So here he is now, with Jungkook trapped against the wall, Jin’s arms barring his exit.
He knows Jungkook could easily break out but the fact that he doesn’t and just stands there, head ducked and silent means that he’s willing to talk to Jin. Which is all the encouragement Jin needs to start talking.
“I’m sorry about earlier” He apologizes.
Jungkook looks at him and shrugs lightly, “there’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s not a big deal”
“Clearly it is if it made you uncomfortable.” He rests his hands on Jungkook's shoulders. “And even if it’s not a big deal, I shouldn’t have pushed.”
Again the guilt comes, he should’ve known better. He doesn’t know why he was so upset, and because he thought about his feelings more, he disregarded how Jungkook must’ve felt, to be put in the spot like that in front of the other members.
Jungkook puts his hands on Jin’s waist, the weight of it becoming a solid anchor in the tsunami of his thoughts.
“It’s okay, really” Jungkook assures him, and the sincerity in his eyes has Jin relaxing in relief. He touches his forehead against Jungkook’s,
“You promise?” he asks softly, wanting to be sure. This close together he can see the way Jungkook’s eyes soften, pouring out warmth.
“Promise” Jungkook swears. Jin ducks his head into the crook of Jungkook’s neck as Jungkook pulls him in for a hug.
“Wanna sleep in my room tonight?” Jin asks. The shoulder his cheek is resting on tenses.
“Do you want me to?”
“Of course” says Jin, he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t mean it.
Jungkook let’s out a breath and with it all his tension. He cards his fingers through Jin’s hair.
“Then sure, hyung. Anything for you.”
Jin smiles into Jungkook’s skin, happiness flooding through him.
“Great” he says, squeezing Jungkook tighter.
“That brat is trying to take my place” Yoongi announces the next day over breakfast, awake surprisingly early for once. Jin looks up from his cereal, confused.
Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Jeon Jungkook? the kid that’s sleeping on your bed right now?”
Ohhh, realization dawns on him.
“We made up!” he tells Yoongi brightly.
Yoongi takes a seat, raising an eyebrow, “I didn’t know you fought.”
“We didn’t fight but it was weird and tense yesterday” he explains, “so we made up and everything’s normal again.”
“And how does that explain him sleeping in our room?”
Jin shrugs, happily spooning more cereal into his mouth, “Does it matter?”
Yoongi stares at him for a moment, “I guess not.”
Yoongi grabs a banana from the fruit basket on the table to eat. They sit in silence for a while, content with the early morning peacefulness, before Yoongi breaks it.
“Did you ever find out who he liked?” Yoongi asks.
Jin frowns. He doesn’t want to think about this.
“No” he says.
“Well, if you take the time to observe, you’ll know who it is.” Yoongi says, standing up to leave. “He’s closer than you might think.”
Yoongi slouches off, leaving Jin confused.
“Okay Hobi would you say that Jungkook’s type is an idol, an actor, a fan, a classmate, or a normal citizen?” Jin asks. Notepad and pen out, ready to write down notes.
After Yoongi left him with those cryptic words, Jin had some time to think and after being bothered and irritated by each and every thought of Jungkook liking someone, Jin decided that for his peace of mind, he’s going to investigate and find out once and for all who Jungkook liked.
“Hobi please get up, I can see you from here.” he says to Hoseok who was slowly crawling to the door while Jin was lost in thought.
Hoseok flops to the ground. “Hyung please, I’m not comfortable talking about it.”
Jin nods, “Okay I respect that.”
Hoseok sighs in relief.
“But also, if you could just tell me if I know him or not that would be great” he continues.
Hoseok groans.
----
“Would you say that he’s taller or shorter than me?” Jin asks.
Namjoon sighs, massaging his forehead with his fingers.
“Hyung I’d say he’s about your height”
Jin hums, writing it down in his notepad, “Is that a fact or an estimate?”
“It’s fact hyung, please, I need to finish this melody.”
Jin raises his hands, “Alright, alright. I’ll stop bothering you.”
He walks out of Namjoon’s studio feeling triumphant. He’d expected Namjoon to stop answering him on the third question but Jin managed to get five answers from him! He hums as he walks, wondering if Jungkook would like to get dinner with him later.
----
“Is he good looking at least?” He asks Taehyung, who’s sprawled on the couch.
“Jungkook thinks he’s the handsomest in the world.” Taehyung replies absently, scrolling through his phone.
Jin frowns, “More handsome than me?”
Taehyung pauses. He looks up from his phone to stare at Jin for a moment. Taking catalogue of the sulky pout on Jin’s face.
He laughs, “Hyung I’d say he looks exactly like you.”
Jin’s frown deepens, “In what way?”
“In every way.” Taehyung sing-songs before going back to his phone with a little giggle.
Jin scowls down at him, his notepad lying uselessly open in his hand. “Kim Taehyung you-”
quack quack quack
Jin deflates, “Hold that thought.”
He picks out his phone from his back pocket, mood brightening when he sees who the caller is. He moves away to answer.
“Yo JK!” he greets happily.
“Hyung! do you wanna get dinner tonight?”
“I was thinking about that earlier!” Jin says, delighted.
“Really?”
“Yeah! Our telepathy is no joke.”
They giggle at each other for a few seconds before Jin calms down.
“Where are you now?”
“Me? I’m on my way to the company” Jungkook answers.
“Do you wanna meet at that restaurant near here?” Jin asks. Jungkook hums from across the line.
“Sure. See you then.”
“Mmm, Bye, I love you”
“Love you too.” Jungkook replies softly. As always, warmth blooms in Jin’s chest from those words.
Theres a moment of silence before Jungkook whispers a soft bye before hanging up. Jin smiles fondly down at his phone before pocketing it. When he looks up, Taehyung’s staring at him in disgust.
“You guys are so gross.”
Jin feels the tips of his ears getting warm. “What’s wrong with that?” he asks, voice raised.
Taehyung raises his hands defensively, “Nothing, nothing. I’m just saying.”
Jin uses a hand to fan his flaming face.
“Do you guys do that a lot?” Taehyung asks suddenly.
Jin looks at him in confusion, “Do what?”
“Say I love you” Taehyung says with a meaningful look.
He shrugs, “Yeah but I do that to all of you.”
“Um. You don’t to me” Taehyung says.
Jin frowns wondering why this is being brought up before understanding hits him.
Eyebrows set in determination, he strides to where Taehyung’s sitting. He drops his body on top of Taehyung, clinging to him like an octopus.
“Hyung what-”
“Shhh” Jin interrupts, pushing their face together. He strokes Taehyung's hair. “I’m sorry if you felt left out.”
“I dont-”
“I’ll only say I love you to you from now on.” Jin declares. Taehyung struggles under him.
“Hyung please don’t do that. I don’t wanna die.” he pleads with wide, panicked eyes. Jin shakes his head.
“There’s no need to feel shy. I’ll be a better hyung from now on.” He swears. Taehyung whimpers.
Jin presses a loud, wet kiss on Taehyung's cheek before springing up, “Okay. Gotta go meet Jungkook.”
He fixes his clothes and hair before setting out, “Bye tae, I love you the most!” Jin calls out as he exits the room.
The door slams behind him with a bang and Taehyung wilts from the couch to the floor.
“I’m doomed” He wails at the empty room.
When Jin enters the meat restaurant, Jungkook’s already there, looking at the menu. He waves to the auntie at the kitchen before sitting across Jungkook.
“Hey Jungkookie.” He greets.
Startled, Jungkook looks up from the menu. He smiles when he sees Jin. “Hey hyung. What do you wanna eat?”
“You choose. I can eat anything.” Jin says.
Jungkook nods, concentration back to the menu. He calls a waitress over to give their orders and when that’s done he looks back to Jin with a smile.
“What did you do today hyung?” He asks.
Jin’s mind quickly flashes back to him hunting down the members and investigating about Jungkook. He shrugs, “Nothing much. You know, just hanging out at the studio.”
“What about you?” He asks Jungkook.
Jungkook gets a gleam in his eyes and launches into a story of his overwatch games and how it went down. Jin nods in hopefully the right places and tries to look interested. It’s not often Jungkook speaks so passionately about something, and Jin wants to indulge him as much as he can.
Their food arrives halfway into Jungkook telling him about his 3rd game with Heechul. Jin cooks the meat and stuffs his face with side dishes while Jungkook rambles on. As intense as Jungkook is getting about his game, Jin can’t change the fact that he’s absolutely clueless and getting tired of this line of conversation.
When Jungkook takes a break to eat the meat, Jin uses that time to change the subject.
He clears his throat, “Is that all you did today?” he asks.
“Oh!” Jungkook snaps his fingers, “I talked with my dad about bowling.”
That’s.... not much better but it’s pretty cute.
“I’m gonna ask Yugyeom to go bowling with me tomorrow.” Jungkook continues, “I’m sure it’ll be fun.”
Jin pauses. Mind blazing with what hidden meaning Jungkook’s words could possibly contain. Could it be? Is Yugyeom the mystery person? Does Jungkook like Yugyeom?
Jin mentally curses the fact that he left his notepad behind. He tries to remember the information he gathered.
Jin knows that Yugyeom is tall and handsome. But to be fair, that description is pretty vague and describes more than half of the idol population. But Jungkook is shy and if he and Yugyeom are getting close...
Closer than I might think is what Yoongi said.
Then there’s no doubt!
“By any chance” Jin begins, “Do you like him Jungkookie?” he asks. And does he like you? Something harsh and nasty inside him asks, Because If not then Jin’s gonna have to sit down and talk with this Yugyeom. Jungkook is handsome, tall, hard working, patient, gentle, caring, and many other adjectives. In fact, just thinking about how amazing Jungkook is is hurting Jin’s heart. No one deserves his Jungkook.
Jungkook tilts his head, looking at him in confusion, “Ummm, yes?” he says hesitantly. “He’s my best idol friend.”
Hmm. Jin purses his lips.
He supposes Yugyeom’s not a bad choice but he’s still not satisfied. He’s kinda irritated to be honest. Why Yugyeom? Is it because they’re both dancers? Dancing’s not that amazing. Anyone can dance. Jin can dance, and he’s improved a lot!
But he heard from Jackson that Yugyeom could be a brat, so does that mean Jungkook likes someone with the same personality as him? It’s not special though, Jin is pretty laid back and playful for an eldest hyung. Is it because of his looks?
“Do you think he’s handsome?” he asks, holding his breath.
Jungkook is still looking at him like he grew another head, “I guess? Hyung why are you asking?”
Jin eats a huge chunk of meat to buy time. So Jungkook thinks he’s handsome. Didn’t Tae say something about it earlier? But... Jin frowns. He doesn’t think him and Yugyeom look the same though?
“Do you think he’s more handsome than me?” He asks.
Jungkook chokes on his drink. Jin eats some bean sprouts while Jungkook coughs. He’s nervous for some reason and he can’t bring himself to look at Jungkook.
Jungkook wipes his mouth with a tissue, eyes wide. “Hyung of course not” he says incredulously. Jin jerks his head to look at Jungkook.
“Really?” He asks, relieved but 100% confused. That’s not what Taehyung said earlier.
Jungkook grabs his hand, “Of course! Hyung, you’re the handsomest man in the world.”
Jin freezes.
“Jungkook thinks he’s the handsomest in the world.” Taehyung said earlier.
Jungkook's last words echo through his head and Oh.
Oh no.
Jin’s brain short circuits.
He spends the rest of the meal in a daze, barely aware of what comes out of his mouth when he talks to Jungkook. His mind is furiously working, connecting the pieces. He’s remembering his gathered data and remembering previous interactions. At last he reaches a startling conclusion.
He’s 99.9% sure that he’s the one Jungkook likes.
Jin’s heart races and he panics at what this could mean for their relationship and what it could mean for their group. So Jin does what he can to stay sane for the duration of the time he spends with Jungkook. He clings to the .1% and refuses to believe that Jungkook likes him.
Jungkook pays for their meal and it sends Jin’s mind into overdrive although he tries his best to excuse it. Jungkook always pays for their meals when they eat out. He’s been doing since the end of last year when he insisted on paying for their coffees and had gotten into the habit of doing it ever since.
If Jungkook does like him though then how did it even start? When did it start? How long has this been going on? Is Jin... Jungkook’s first love?
Jin pauses.
There’s only one person who can answer his burning questions.
“Park Jimin”
Jimin yelps, dropping his banana milk.
He presses a hand to his chest to calm his racing heart. He turns around to face the voice and finds Jin standing at the door, half covered by its shadow. “Hyung you scared me.”
“Park Jimin you need to come with me right now, it’s an urgent matter.” Jin says, advancing towards Jimin.
Jimin’s eyes widen in alarm as Jin grabs his hand, leading him out of the kitchen, “What’s the matter?”
“Urgent! An urgent matter. Didn’t you hear what I said?” Jin asks, looking back at him quickly in annoyance. “Keep up Jimin.”
Jimin sighs in resignation as Jin drags him into his and Yoongi’s room. He starts to get worried though when Jin immediately collapses on his bed with a drawn out groan.
“Lock the door please” Jin mumbles, voice muffled by his pillow.
Jimin quickly obeys. He comes back and sits on the space next to Jin’s body.
He pats Jin’s butt softly, “What’s wrong hyung? What happened?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jin asks. Jimin frowns.
“Tell you what?” he asks.
Jin sits up and stares at Jimin with accusing eyes, “Why didn’t you tell me about Jungkook?”
Jimin freezes.
Ah, Jin thinks. So it’s true then.
Jimin laughs uncomfortably, “Hyung what-”
“I know okay” Jin say, cutting off whatever excuse Jimin was gonna say. “I know” he repeats softly.
But the truth is, he doesn’t really know. He doesn’t know how it started, he doesn’t know how serious Jungkook is about him, he doesn’t know. All he has is a strong hunch and Jin’s not above using acting as a means to get answers. He didn’t suffer through college while working to waste his skills.
Jimin sighs. “To be honest, I’m kinda surprised it took you this long.”
Jin groans and covers his face with his hands. This is confirmation.
“Is it really so bad hyung? That Jungkook likes you?” Jimin asks.
“No.” Jin mumbles, head still buried in his hands. It was surprising and maybe a bit distressing but this isn’t the first time someone close to Jin developed feelings for him. Things like this usually rolls off his back with no problem.
“Then what’s wrong?” Jimin asks.
Whats wrong is not that Jungkook likes him, but how Jungkook likes him. If Jungkook felt this way for as long as Jin suspects he has, then that means he’s Jungkook’s First Love. In other words, the kind of love that changes a person. Or worse, scars a person. First Love is not the kind of love you mess with okay. Its the kind of love that’s hugely monumental in a person’s life. Jin still remembers his and he was 10 when it happened.
“I can’t be Jungkook’s first love Jiminie.” Jin he says in near hysterics. “I can’t-”
“Hyung” Jimin interrupts. “I’m pretty sure Kookie’s first love was IU-sunbaenim”
Jin stares at him in shock. Jimin nods his head sagely.
“But I thought that was just a music idol thing.” Jin says.
Jimin shakes his head emphatically, “Hyung don’t even get me started. Trust me, there were many tears and a lot of illegal ice cream.”
But then... “What does that make me?” Jin asks.
Jimin puts a hand under his own chin, eyes wide and sincere, “You’re his true love!”
Jin chokes on his spit.
“Be serious! That’s not even a real thing!”
Jimin sighs, “Hyung you’re so unromantic”
“Let me put it this way” he continues. “Jungkook’s in deep, deep, love with you and he’s serious about it. Like. The forever kind of serious.”
Jimin finishes his speech with a satisfied nod as if it was that simple. Love is messy and never easy. Jimin talks about Jungkook’s feelings as if its a straightforward thing with no complications or side-effects. As if it won’t change their group dynamics or ruin them if the press ever catches wind of it. Jin won’t even begin to touch how he feels about all of this. He’ll do it when he’s all alone with no one to see him break down, thank you. But the fact of the matter is,
“It can’t be that simple.” he says. Because nothing ever is, especially in this line of work.
Jimin stares at him sadly for a moment before engulfing him in a big hug. “Oh hyung.” he sighs into Jin’s neck. “Why not?”
Jin opens his mouth to list all the ways it can never work but no words come out. Jimin gives him a squeeze before standing up.
Jimin walks to the door, unlocking and opening it. He turns around to look at Jin, "Just think about it before you make any decisions okay?” he says before walking out and closing the door behind him gently.
Jin lays back down, one arm covering his eyes. He doesn’t know what to think. In fact, he doesn’t even want to think about Jungkook and his feelings. Confronting it head on is a scary thing to do but really the scariest thing Jin can think of right now, is how under all the inner conflict and stress, he’s pleased that Jungkook likes him.
A few days later and Jin is still coming to terms with the fact that Jungkook likes him. He’s torn between locking himself in a room to sort out his feelings and ignoring it all together. It doesn’t help that now that he’s paying attention, he realizes how often he and Jungkook spend time together. He tries his best to act normal but if the confused look Jungkook gives him everytime they hang out is anything to go by, he’s definitely not succeeding. Jimin keeps darting him worried looks. The rest probably know either through Jimin or just by correctly assuming that Jin finally knows. Everyone does their best to help by generally being careful and tactful about all of this.
“You’re being stupid.” A voice spits out at him from across the table.
Jin sighs. Everyone except Yoongi.
Jin takes another long drink from his bottle of soju. It’s his second bottle of the night and he’s just finished telling Yoongi his doubts about this whole thing with Jungkook.
“As your roommate, I can say that you’re in denial right now which is shit.” Yoongi says, cradling his shot glass.
“You like him back. I’ve been waiting for you to realize it but I guess this is why i’m the one they call genius.” he continues.
“No one actually calls you genius.” Jin points out.
“Shut up.” Yoongi snaps back. “And stop trying to change the subject. What’s really holding you back?” he asks, face flushed by the alcohol but eyes clear and scrutinizing.
“I guess I’ve gotten so used to seeing him as a cute younger brother that thinking of him as a potential boyfriend feels wrong.” Jin admits reluctantly.
Yoongi stares at him with shrewd eyes, “But you haven’t really seen him as a younger brother for a long time now right?”
Jin bites his lip, hand twisting the neck of the soju bottle while he thinks of his reply.
“Be honest hyung.” Yoongi says. Jin looks up to find Yoongi’s face set in serious lines.
Jin’s insides twist uncomfortably but this is why he went to Yoongi in the first place. He trusts Yoongi to be honest with him and because of that, Yoongi expects Jin to be honest too, even if it means dragging out painful truths to the light that Jin would much rather stay in the darkness.
He puts his bottle down and traces the dents on the wooden table with his fingers while he thinks. He can’t deny that as Jungkook grew up, his feelings for the younger one changed too. It’s normal. People change and opinions change. Jin just didn’t expect the way his own feelings shifted. He admits that he’s had moments where he thought about how handsome Jungkook was, moments where Jungkook made him flustered, and he’s experienced heart fluttering moments with Jungkook as well. Jin’s aware of them all, he just didn’t look too closely at them.
But while Jin denied his feelings before, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an extremely self aware person. To come to the conclusion that he likes Jungkook in a way that’s not strictly platonic is hard but Jin’s wrestled with harder thoughts and truths before and he won against them all. That’s how he gets to survive and handle all the baggage idol life brings him without breaking down or losing his sense of self.
Besides the previous memories, Jin thinks back on how he felt when he thought Jungkook liked someone else. The burning desire that consumed him to find out who the mysterious person was just so he can have a face to direct his negative feelings to. He remembers how relieved he was when he realized Jungkook didn’t like Yugyeom, and how it felt when he found out Jungkook liked him. It’s amazing really, how deliberately obtuse Jin can be.
“Well?” Yoongi prompts when the silence lingers for too long.
“No.” He finally answers Yoongi. It’s...surprisingly freeing and a huge relief to admit. Saying it out loud makes it real and solid, but while he’s happy about his new found clarity, it doesn’t take away his fear. “Is that okay?” He asks quietly.
Yoongi huffs. “Why wouldn’t it be?” he asks, eyebrow raised as if he can’t believe Jin would ask such a stupid question.
“If this gets out...” Jin begins.
“It won’t”
“But what if it does?” Jin asks. “Yoongi the consequences-”
“It won’t happen” Yoongi interrupts, voice firm.
“How can you be so sure?” Jin asks in despair. They’re getting more and more popular now and technology has advanced so much that no place is safe. If he let’s it slip, any desperate person can come upon it and sell his story for the highest price. If Jin becomes the reason BTS falls apart, he’d never forgive himself.
Yoongi sighs, most likely sensing Jin’s quickly spiraling thoughts.
“Hyung.” He says calmly. “Unlike you, the members and I knew about this for a long time now.”
Jin pauses. He takes a drink from his bottle. He hadn’t taken into account how the other members might feel about all this.
“We’ve had a long enough time to get to terms with it and we’ve all talked about it at some point.” Yoongi says. “The point is hyung, we trust you. You wouldn’t let whatever it is you’re fearing to happen and I’m sure Jungkook won’t either.”
“Yoongi-”
“Plus” Yoongi cuts him off, “You have us you idiot. We won’t let that happen either.”
Jin closes his eyes in acceptance and relief. He knows that he’d fight tooth and nail to protect their group but just knowing that his members are there for him makes him believe that he’ll fight tooth and nail and win. He gives a small smile that Yoongi returns.
“So” Yoongi says, slamming his shot glass on the table. “What are you gonna do now?”
Jin groans, “I don’t even know. I don’t know where to start.”
“You could start dating for real. God knows you’ve been going on dates for the better part of the year.” Yoongi shakes his head, “I can’t believe you never noticed Jungkook stealth dating you. Idiot.”
“Hey!” He protests.
“Hey what?” Yoongi challenges.
Jin opens his mouth to retort but quickly closes it. He deflates. Hey nothing. He can’t say anything back because what Yoongi said is the truth. Jin would need two hands to count how many “dates” Jungkook and him have been on this month alone and the month isn’t even over.
Jin sighs, “I’ve been really stupid huh.”
Yoongi shrugs, “Yeah.”
Jin nods and offers his bottle for a toast. Yoongi downs his shot and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “What are you gonna do about it?” he asks.
Jin hums in contemplation. “Talk to him definitely.”
Yoongi nods in agreement.
“But not immediately, I think.” Jin says. “I wanna straighten some things out first.”
“That’s fair” Yoongi concedes, fingers tapping the rim of his glass restlessly.
Jin smiles at him, “Okay enough about this, Let’s get wasted.”
“Oh thank God.” Yoongi says, already pouring out another shot.
-----
It’s hours later and they’ve finally staggered their way back to the dorm. They reach their room and collapse on their pushed together beds, door swinging shut behind them.
“Hey” he whispers, turning his body to face Yoongi as Yoongi does the same with a small grunt. A sliver of light makes it possible for them to see each other’s face.
“Thanks for tonight.” He says sincerely. He gives Yoongi a wry smile, “You really are a genius.”
Yoongi’s gummy smile in return is the last thing he sees before drifting off to sleep.
Jin wakes up with a hell of a hangover and he’s so grateful that they don’t have any schedules today. He buries his head in his pillow as he remembers what they talked about last night. Jin sighs. He needs to talk with Namjoon. But before that, he wants to sleep some more. Thinking and talking can wait until his head stops pounding.
-----
“Joonie?” Jin knocks on the door twice before he peeks his head in, eyes wandering from the shelves filled with toys and mementos to the lone work table where Namjoon is sitting focused on his computer, head nodding along to a beat that only he can hear from the massive headphones he’s wearing. Jin closes the door softly, lock clicking when he turns it. He walks up to Namjoon and taps his shoulder.
Namjoon jerks his head to Jin in surprise. “Hyung you scared me” he says, taking off his headphones. He takes one look at Jin’s face, “What’s wrong?” He asks.
“I need advice.” Jin says. “Do you have time?”
Namjoon nods, “Of course.” Gesturing for Jin to sit on the bean bag while he sits on the floor. “What about?”
“Jungkook and me” He says, sinking into the bean bag and Namjoon makes an Ah of understanding.
“What about it? I talked to Yoongi hyung earlier and he said you had it settled.”
“Mostly settled” Jin corrects, sinking into the bean bag. He looks at Namjoon sitting cross legged in front of him. “Do you think it’s a good idea?” He asks.
Namjoon hums, picking at the rip of his jeans absently while he thinks of what to say.
“I think that this isn’t something that can be narrowed down to good idea or bad idea and I know you know that too.” Namjoon says. “I think what you want to know is, if I agree with it or not.”
“Perceptive as always.” Jin says with a rueful grin. Namjoon gives him a small smile in return before turning serious again.
“Hyung, I’ll be honest. I was definitely worried when I first found out that Jungkook liking you wasn’t a phase. As a friend and especially as the leader, it weighed on me a lot.” Namjoon admits. “I guess it’s a good thing it took you so long to notice now that I think about it. It gave me a lot of time to think about what this could all mean for our future. I thought about the many ways it could possibly result to and you know, I recently read something fascinating about how one person’s future could-”
“Joonie” Jin interrupts softly and Namjoon jerks his head.
“Right, right. Sorry.” He apologizes, scratching his cheek, “What was I saying before I went off track? Getting worried?”
“Yeah.”
“Right.” Namjoon says. “Hyung I worried constantly about the set backs but something changed my mind. Do you know what it was?”
“What?” Jin dutifully asks.
“I saw you and Jungkook together one day in the kitchen. I don’t even remember if you were cooking together or something but I clearly remember standing there, looking at the two of you and I saw how happy you were. Without a doubt the atmosphere was filled with quiet sort of love.” Namjoon says, shaking his head, “You weren’t doing anything special but the emotions there were so pure that I knew that It wasn’t something that should be stopped just because of fear.”
Jin sits there in silence, letting Namjoon’s words fill the cracks in his resolution.
“I’m here for you. The members are here for you. We’re all here for you. For the both of you. We love you no matter what and whatever happens, we’ll be there to support you.” Namjoon says softly.
Jin smiles, touched. Namjoon knew even before Jin did that Jin didn’t come here for advice. Not really. He came here for assurance and that’s what Namjoon gave him.
He stands up and reaches down to pull Namjoon into a hug. “Thank you.” He whispers into Namjoon’s shoulder. “You’re the best leader.”
Namjoon squeezes him tighter and Jin starts believing that it’s gonna be okay. He can love Jungkook and Jungkook can love him. They can have a relationship. It’s okay.
Hoseok is the one that clears away all of Jin’s reluctance.
They’re at the dance studio for Jin’s extra dance tutorials. While Jin has improved a lot and his body is used to dancing now that it usually moves the way Jin wants it to, the new choreo is harder than the last one and with Jungkook on his mind, Jin hadn’t been able to do any of the dance moves as well as he would have liked. Hence the dance tutorials.
Jin lies exhausted on the floor, a steady ache thrumming through him not only because of the physical activity but also the fact that he’s missing Jungkook. They haven’t spent the usual amount of time together during the past days as Jin was busy talking with the other members. And although they constantly text each other, Jin still misses him.
Jin’s come a long way, these past few days, in regards to Jungkook and his feelings. He’s accepted that Jungkook loves him and acknowledges to himself that he feels the same. He wants to take the next step and talk with Jungkook so that they can finally start being in an actual relationship and not just go on dates-that-Jin-didn’t-even-know-were-dates dates. He’s ready. Jin is ready. Which is why it’s so hard to understand why he can’t bring himself to just talk already. Something’s holding him back.
Hoseok peers down at him, water bottle for Jin at hand. “Need a break?”
Jin groans as he sits up, “Yes please.”
“Here.” Hoseok says, handing him his water as he flops down next to Jin.
Jin nods in thanks as he gulps it down greedily.
“You and Kookie banging yet?” Hoseok asks casually.
Jin chokes on the water, coughing and spitting it everywhere, “Hobi what the hell?”
“What?” Hoseok asks defensively, “I thought for sure you’d be on that stage by now.”
Jin scowls, “I haven’t even talked to him yet. He probably doesn’t even know I like him back.” he says, wiping his mouth with his shirt.
“Oh shit, really?” Hoseok asks incredulously, eyes wide.
Jin slides onto his back, staring at the bright fluorescent lights, “Yeah.”
“Why not hyung?”
Jin sighs, turning his away when the light becomes too glaring. “I wish I knew.” He says quietly.
They fall into silence only broken by the sound of Hoseok lying down on his side to face Jin.
“Hyung.” Hoseok begins, breaking the silence, face serious. “Are you worried it’s gonna be like what happened with Hyosang?”
Jin tenses. He hadn’t even considered it but... it’s not impossible. Jin only dated someone as close to him as Jungkook is now once and Jin can’t deny that that relationship played a huge role in Jin’s desire to put boundaries between work and pleasure. After they broke up was the time Jin started saving people’s names on his phone as business like and impersonal as possible.
“You know it wont be like that with Kookie. It’s completely different.” Hoseok says and Jin does know. Or at least he thought he knew it already but obviously not. Jin knew he needed to get over something, turns out he just needed someone to point it out to him.
All this time he thought he was ready but subconsciously he was still scared. He remembers loving someone from the same team only to end up being burned by them but he know’s it’s different this time. Only the bare bones are the same.
“Hyung you know this right?” Hoseok asks again when Jin doesn’t respond. His eyes are worried.
Jin huffs a relieved laugh, “Yeah Hobi. I know.”
A voice sounding suspiciously like Yoongi echoes through his head, ‘You know now so what are you gonna do about it?’
-----
When he and Hoseok finally finish with practice it’s way past midnight. They walk into their dorm bone tired. Jin is stumbling a little bit but he’s happy about the result of tonight. He got to figure out why he was so hesitant to finally just talk with Jungkook and he finally memorized the dance moves.
He gently puts a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder, “Thanks Hobi.”
Hoseok smiles at him tiredly, “You know it’s no problem.”
Hoseok stops in front of his door, “Goodnight hyung.”
“Night.” Jin echoes back as Hoseok walks in. The dorm is quiet, Yoongi and Namjoon probably still at their studios and Jin thinks that the rest might be already asleep. He takes a shower and gets ready for bed.
Instead of going to his own bed however, Jin takes a turn and stops in front of Namjoon and Jungkook’s room. The door is unlocked and opens quietly as he walks in. He feels around in the dark before finally arriving at Jungkook’s bed. He crawls into Jungkook’s bed and settles down with a sigh, hands clinging to the body next to him.
“Jin hyung?” Jungkook asks, voice still heavy with sleep as he wraps his arms around Jin.
“Yeah” Jin mumbles, cuddling closer to Jungkook. This is nice. This is so nice and Jin is tired and he’s missed Jungkook so much. He never wants to leave. “Let’s stay like this forever okay? I love you a lot.” Jin says, closing his eyes.
“What?” Jungkook asks sounding more awake now and Jin can’t have that. Its sleepy cuddle time.
“Shhh.” He says, blindly feeling about to put a hand on Jungkook’s mouth. “Sleepy cuddle time.”
Jungkook goes silent and Jin feels sleep claiming him.
“Alright.” Jungkook finally says and Jin nods his head tiredly in satisfaction. “And hyung, I love you too.” he continues, stroking Jin’s hair. Jin smiles into Jungkook’s chest, familiar warmth flooding through him. He presses a soft kiss to the body underneath his head and quickly falls asleep.
-----
It’s still dark when Jin wakes up slightly, the cause being the body underneath him moving to leave. He clings tighter, “Don’t go” he says, eyes closed.
“I’m just gonna pee.” Jungkook whispers. It gets through the haze of sleep and Jin loosens his grip. Jin feels a soft kiss landing on his head and he smiles up at Jungkook.
When Jungkook comes back, Jin adjusts his body accordingly. The bed is frankly too small for two people but Jin has never felt more comfortable. He falls back to sleep quickly, content with his arms wrapped around Jungkook.
When Jin wakes up again it’s morning. His arm has fallen asleep. It seems like he and Jungkook changed positions last night and he’s the one cradling the other instead of the other way around. He looks down at Jungkook and feels the love expanding inside him. This makes him remember that one morning in bergen a few months ago. He was thinking about his life then too and how much Jungkook had grown.
The more Jin looks back, the more he sees moments where it’s obvious that their relationship had been growing and changing into something that borders on an actual romantic relationship.
He feels Jungkook stir awake and he looks down at him with a smile.
Jungkook’s eyes are crusted with sleep, his face is kinda swollen, and his hair is standing up in all directions. And yet at this moment, Jin can’t even imagine a more welcome sight.
Jungkook stares up at him blearily and Jin knows he doesn’t look any better but Jungkook smiles at him in such soft, tender way that Jin’s heart aches. He feels like he’s gonna explode, he’s so happy.
He pecks Jungkook’s lips with his and stares deep into Jungkook’s shocked eyes, “I love you.” Jin confesses.
Jungkook sits up, eyes guarded and Jin hurries to explain, “Jungkook i’m in love with you.” he says, grabbing Jungkook’s hand. “I’m so in love with you and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.” He give the hand he’s holding a quick kiss, eyes trained on Jungkook’s face.
Jungkook has his mouth open in disbelief and his eyes are so hopeful that Jin curses himself for being so blind.
Jin brings holds Jungkook’s hand to his heart, making Jungkook smile. “Kookie I love you and I wanna kiss you and hold your hand and go on official dates with you.”
With each word from Jin, Jungkook’s smile gets brighter.
“And I know we definitely need to talk more about this in depth later but right now I just wanted to let you know how I feel. I couldn’t hold it back in and if you don’t say anything I’m gonna go hide and lick my wounds from your cold rejection-”
Jungkook bright laughter stops Jin’s rambling. He touches his forehead to Jin’s. “Hyung I love you too.” His eyes are clear and bright, his smile wide and showing teeth. Jin smiles back at him equally happy.
He doesn’t know who moves first but they’re kissing. Mouths tentative and soft, content to just explore and greet each other for now. Jin’s heart hurts in the best way and he pulls Jungkook closer with a tiny moan.
They pull apart slowly, smiling at each other.
“I love you.” Jin says, pecking Jungkook’s lips making his eyes crinkle.
“I love you.” Jungkook replies, nose scrunched up in happiness.
“And I love you both.” A voice says making their heads whip toward it in surprise.
Namjoon stand at the door smiling at the both of them, dimples out. “Sorry to interrupt but we have to go get ready for todays schedule.” He says. “Congrats” He adds sincerely before walking away from the door.
Jin and Jungkook stare at each other in silence before descending into happy giggles.
When Jin and Jungkook walk out to the living room hand in hand, dressed up and ready to leave, the other members are already gathered there.
Jimin spots them first. He looks at them and then notices their connected hands, he breaks into a wide smile.
“Wa!” He exclaims, making the other members turn to look at them. “They’re together!”
The room descends into chaos as screams and words pour out from everyone. The members gather around them, engulfing them into a into a giant hug. Pats and teasing come from all around and Jin let’s the happy chaos consume him, smiling wide as happiness courses through him.
Hoseok and Taehyung belt out a congratulatory song, Jimin clings to Jungkook yelling about how happy he is. Yoongi’s voice is raised telling everyone that he’s the reason Jin and Jungkook got together, while Namjoon is smiling wide telling everyone to quiet down but adds to the chaos by screaming and jumping.
Jin feels Jungkook squeeze his hand and Jin, filled with adrenaline, pulls on Jungkook's hand to drag him into a deep kiss, making everyone explode in yells and whoops.
Jungkook kisses him back as fiercely before he gets pulled off and gets enveloped in a maknae line puppy pile.
Jin is so in love. He loves his members, he loves Jungkook. He’s happy, he’s happy. The future is uncertain but he’s hopeful. This is only the start and he’s happy. He’s so happy.