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„Dean? Deeean?“ Cas shouted through the whole motel. “I made you pie!” Nothing happened, apart from the bar keeper who looked at him strangely.
Cas sat down on a chair, hoping for Dean to come off his room. After five minutes a door opened. Cas was excited and stood up but immediately sat down again when he saw Sam coming towards him.
“Hey Cas.”, Sam said, he sounded exhausted and tired. “Where is Dean?”, Cas asked and he saw how Sammy had a sad look on his face right after he asked. “Uhm, Cas, he… he’s in the hospital.” The pie nearly fell off Cas’ hands as he heard the last word. “What happened?”, he said, his voice getting quieter with every syllable. “There was this demon… I couldn’t do anything for him.” “I have to see him!” There was a moment of silence before Sam told him that it wouldn’t be a good idea to visit Dean right now. Cas looked at Sam like he wouldn’t understand, so Sam had to explain further: “He has serious injuries and he’s getting operated right now. It’s a 50/50 chance for him to survive it.”
The angel’s face got more worried and sad with every word. “We need to go. Get a car.”
Five minutes later they both sat in the Impala and drove to the hospital. Dean’s music played, which made the drive seem endless. When they finally arrived the immediately went to a doctor to ask where Dean was. “He’s in room 254. But he’s still sleepi-“ Before the older man could finish his sentence both Sam and Cas ran to the room. “Dean…”, Cas said shocked when he saw his friend laying on the bed. His whole body was covered with band aids and bandages. Castiel went closer to him and laid his hand on Dean’s head. “He’s so weak…”
“Will he…”, Sam started but needed to stop as there were tears falling from his eyes. “Wake up?”, Cas completed the sentence but didn’t answer, because he didn’t know the answer. Even if he would have, he wouldn’t have told Sam, who was nearly crying behind him.
“Can you heal him?”, Sam asked with a weak voice. “I can try.” He combined all of his powers. He laid his hand on Dean’s chest so his power could pass over to him. After just a few seconds Dean opened his eyes but his reaction was different than expected. “Cas… no…”, he whispered as his eyes were watering. “Let me go.”
Dean opened his eyes again, a bit afraid of what he would see. Would he be in hell again? He was standing in a house he knew. He had been here while being in heaven the first time. This wasn’t hell. A smile appeared on his face; that’s how he wished it would end, because he never thought it would end like this, with all the people that he killed and that died because of him.
“Dean.” Someone interrupted his thoughts. He knew this voice very well – it was Castiel’s.
“Cas, why are you here?”, Dean said and ran up to him. “Dean, I have to tell you something.” Silence – only Dean’s breath, not a single other noise. “This is not heaven.”
“What?”, Dean said, anger showing in his voice. “I told you to let me go. I wanted it to end, Cas. I was desperate, I wasn’t seeing another end. I wanted to die!” “No Dean, you didn’t.” “You don’t know about that, Cas! You’re just an emotionless angel, you will never understand!” Tears began to roll down Dean’s face, still there was more anger than pain. “Dean, listen to m-“ “No, Cas. I don’t want to hear anything from you now. I know Sammy will be hurt, but he can get along on his own and have a normal life! With me he isn’t having a good life and that’s not what I want for him! And I don’t have any other friends there, don’t you understand that my life is useless, that I am useless!”
Silence again. Dean, now in tears, looked up at Cas, waiting for him to reply but the angel didn’t know what to say, he only formed his friend’s name on his lips. Both of them didn’t talk for over ten minutes; Cas wondered what Sam was doing while they were away. ‘He’s probably hunting the thing that hurt Dean, if they haven’t already killed it’, he thought. Dean sat down on a chair in the living room, trying not to cry anymore and Cas could hear him whispering something. He went closer to understand, not to close, he didn’t wanted to interrupt Dean. After some steps he could understand. “I’m so sorry.”, Dean said all the time, pressing his face into his hands. Cas didn’t asked him why he was sorry and for what but soon Dean noticed him and said: “Cas, you can talk to me. I can feel you staring, come on.”
“Dean, you don’t have to be sorry.”, said Cas, making some steps forward, closer to his friend. “Again, you don’t understand it! I’m sorry because I failed everyone, I failed you!” “That’s why you shouldn’t die. You can change it.” Cas stood right in front of Dean now, laying his hand on the hunter’s shoulder. “Even if I come back, I can’t make it better. In heaven I would have a new beginning, a new chance.” Now Dean almost whispered, the anger and range was completely gone, leaving only the pain. “Sam won’t be with you there.” This seemed to be the final argument. Dean stood up, looking at Cas with watering eyes. “Ok Cas, do it. Bring me back.” Cas did as told and laid his hand on Dean’s head; one second later they were in the hospital again. Sam, who was looking out of the window turned around to hug his brother. “Thanks for coming back.”, he whispered before taking a step backwards. “I will always come back for you, Sammy.” Dean laid his hand on Sam’s shoulder. Then he turned to Cas “And for you.” With his free hand he took the angel’s hand and kissed him on the cheek.