Chapter Text
Day 103.
To his left, the rustle of sheets signaled Wilson waking. The loud clang of an alarm clock picked up then hastily dropped, then followed. His friend grumbled an expletive.
You’re awake?
“You’re awake?” The sound of Wilson hastily unzipping his case reached House’s tympanics.
Why didn’t you wake me! We’re going to be late!
“Why didn’t you wake me? We’re going to be late!” More rustling sounded, as Wilson rummaged through his own clothes.
Oh, don’t mind me! You’re only the head speaker at a lecture planned six months in advance!
“Oh, don’t mind me! You’re only the head speaker at a lecture planned six months in advance!”
Exasperated sigh.
Wilson let out an exasperated sigh.
Well, I, for one plan on going. I’m sure that watching an empty stage for half an hour will make for one exhilarating time.
“Well, I, for one plan on going. I’m sure that watching an empty stage for half an hour will make for one exhilarating time.”
He could feel the dark eyes lingering on his back a moment, before the bathroom door slammed. House rolled over, grabbing his vicodin bottle off the nightstand between the two beds. He flicked the lid off and gulped down two pills, frowned, then gulped down two more.
Better.
The shower turned on in the other room with a gentle hiss. The alarm clock still flashed 1.14, the time it had evidentially shorted out at, the night before. House watched it flick over to 1.20. A fully dressed Wilson stepped out of the bathroom, tie in hand. He ventured over to the wide mirror overlooking the beds and looped the attire around his neck, under the shirt collar. The lessened throb of his vastus medialis muscle allowed House to sit up.
“Red tie today. Brings out the colour of those gorgeous brown eyes. Tell me, Jimmy, are you trying to look pretty for someone?”
“Hm… well, considering that you are the only person I currently know in this town…”
“Well, then I can only extrapolate from that, that you are trying to look pretty for me.”
Wilson threw his hands up into the air. “Halleluiah! He finally notices.”
The snarky response did not go unnoticed by House. It had not gone unnoticed the first time he’d tried this particular route, nor the 15 times after that.
Wilson finished fixing his tie and turned to face him. “Well, if you do decide to go to the university to do the lecture, in the clothes you wore to bed the night before, I can say it will make quite the impression.”
House had heard this particular line 16 times. He had to admit some disappointment that his closest ally was just as unimaginative as all of the other utter dimwits in the town. Though he had to remind himself that Wilson occasionally threw out the odd sentence that completely caught him off guard. On day 77, Wilson had been particularly memorable, throwing out three off the cuff remarks throughout the day, that he had not said previously, despite being in the exact same setting, at the exact same time.
“I want you to humour me a moment.”
I always humour you. It’s the backbone of our relationship.
“I always humour you. It’s the backbone of our relationship.”
“Tell me what happened last night.”
Bemused expression. “Do you really think that a room full of doctors would not instantly see through feigned amnesia?”
“Just… answer me…”
“Will you actually get changed and go to this lecture if I answer?”
No. “Sure.”
As Wilson began to talk, House noted, with some interest, the differing inflections he would give some words, the added emphasis he would give others. The words, themselves, however, were always the same.
Six times now.
“Well, we finally arrived at Dunedin Airport at around six o’clock. I wanted to grab something to eat. You were desperate to get to the hotel, first. You do remember where we are, right? A little university town in the southwest of New Zealand? Or has this conveniently slipped your mind too?” He paused. House didn’t react, so he went on. He continued to talk, always the same sentences, no matter how House reacted to the question. Finally, in desperation the day before, House had responded by asking for detail about those ‘homosexual college experiences you always seem so shy in talking about’. Wilson had shot him a slightly bemused, mainly aggrieved look, before continuing on.
“We arrived at the hotel around seven thirty, to discover that they’d made a mistake with the booking and had only given us one room, the last available. Both of us were too fatigued, at that point, to argue it so decided just to sort it in the morning. We then went into the room, where you took a shower and used all the hot water up. We ordered a pizza… using my credit card-”
House had started to fidget, drumming his fingers along his thighs, about halfway through Wilson’s speech.
“Interesting phenomenon… sexual attraction…” He began.
“What? Why are you even…? Actually why am I standing arguing with you? If we leave now I can at least get my morning coffee and not murder you before we even reach the university!”
“The reticular activation system is activated in the brain, releasing serotonin, dopamine and epinephrine. The sympathetic nervous system kicks in. The heart rate rises, the pupils dilate, the body is flooded with feel good chemicals.”
A slightly puzzled, still bemused, more irritated look past over Wilson’s usually genial face. “Is this going to be your speech? Well, interesting change from the one you were told to do, about advancements in theoretical medicine.”
“That ol’ RAS kicked in really good, the first time I saw those pretty puppy dog eyes.”
Wilson stepped to the edge of the bed, threw House’s case on top and started unzipping it.
“If you’re trying to come out to me, there’s no need. I just always assumed you were gay. What, with all the women you have slept with, over the years I’ve known you.”
He flung it open, pulling out a bunch of clothes, then threw a pair of boxers, two shirts, three socks and two pairs of pants at his friend.
“Oh no, not gay, not even bisexual.” House didn’t even bother to catch them. Most landed in a heap around him. One well-aimed sock hit him in the chin. “On a Kinsey scale, I’d probably sit about a 2. In fact, I can only think of three times in life I’ve been attracted to a man. Ben Cornfield in high school. Captain of the football team. Yes, I realise I was being dreadfully, pathetically cliqued there. Ross Jones… oh, did I never tell you I had a college fling too? Well, I would say Chase, but he is just so irritating. It sort of spoils the whole pretty thing, when he constantly walks around looking like someone has shot his grandmother. And then made him eat her.”
“Charming.” Beat. “So you’re saying I’m the third one? It’s way too early in the morning to be dealing with… whatever you’re doing. I really need a coffee.”
“Why not? Why can’t you be the third one?”
“Right… so for the past ten years, you’ve been secretly crushing on your best friend. Despite going through countless women… and showing no sign whatsoever of being in any way interested in men.”
“Maybe I figured that you weren’t exactly into the exclusive Y chromosome, so gave up. And you really think I have shown no sign whatsoever of being interested in you?”
“I really think I need a coffee. Get dressed. I’ll see you at the lecture.”
###
Day 104
“Red tie today. Brings out the colour of those gorgeous brown eyes. Tell me, Jimmy, are you trying to look pretty for someone?”
“Considering that you are the only person I currently know in this town…”
“Oh I know a lot of people in this town. And most of them are so painfully boring. I was expecting some great Miss Marple style ‘the distraught mistress of the local minister did the murder after shooting her best friends dog’ gossip, but there’s nothing!”
Wilson finished fixing his tie and turned to face him. “Well, if you do decide to go to the university to do the lecture, in the clothes you wore to bed the night before, I can say it will make quite the impression.”
“I’m not going. I only went the first three days. Well, that was after days one, two and three. So that would be days four, five and six.”
He didn’t add that the first three days involved three separate visits to the local hospital, forcing them to examine him using every diagnostic technique available, to figure out what, neurologically, was wrong with him. After three days of the same doctors, arguing with him in exactly the same way, he decided to give up, and at least enjoy himself.
“What? Why are you even…? Actually why am I standing having this inane conversation with you? If we leave now I can at least get my morning coffee and not murder you before we even reach the university!”
In the past 104 days, he’d learnt a lot about his best friend. One of the most interesting, was that he could act in the most inappropriate manner, and Wilson would simply take it in his stride. Seven times, he’d actually walked in on House and a prostitute, in the hotel room. Twice, with House and two prostitutes. Two of those times, the prostitute was a man. Wilson had simply shut the door, and allowed House to continue with whatever inventive form of sexual hijinks he had put his mind to, that day.
The only times he did show true concern, was when House somehow convinced him that he was repeating the same day over and over. Wilson certainly didn’t believe him. But he did believe that House believed it, and thus had been overcome with something acutely psychological. House didn’t entirely disagree with that diagnosis.
“How about we just stay in?”
“Yes, great idea! We traveled half way around the world, to not do the speech that is the entire reason for us being here!”
“Well, there are other things we could do. It really didn’t take me that long to be bored with picking up women and hiring hookers.”
That long was from day 10 to day 55. From day 55 to day 90, he started sampling men, with the odd woman thrown in. Even that started to get rather dull, after a while. Particularly as he started to get more and more aware that none of these people were the one he always woke up to, every morning. The one he was being forced to admit, as the same day passed again and again, that he was frustratingly attracted to.
“You’re saying you want to hire hookers together? Ah… I’ll pass. But thanks for the offer.” The sarcasm on the last sentence was quite clear.
“I was hoping maybe you and I could have sex.”
Wilson stepped to the edge of the bed, threw House’s case on top and started unzipping it.
“If you’re trying to come out to me, there’s no need. I just always assumed you were gay. What, with all the women you have slept with, over the years I’ve known you.”
He flung it open, pulling out a bunch of clothes, then threw a pair of boxers, two shirts, three socks and two pairs of pants at his friend.
“You’re saying you’ve never thought of it?”
“Most heterosexual best friends generally don’t think about sleeping together. Sorry to break it to you.”
“But you’re not entirely heterosexual, are you?”
A slight blush graced Wilson’s cheeks. “A lot of people experiment in college.”
“Then there was Amber. In other words, me. Just without the Y chromosome.”
“I really think I need a coffee. Get dressed. I’ll see you at the lecture.”
###
Day 105
To his left, the rustle of sheets signaled Wilson waking. The loud clang of an alarm clock picked up then hastily dropped, then followed. His friend grumbled an expletive.
You’re awake?
“You’re awake?” The sound of Wilson hastily unzipping his case reached House’s tympanics.
Why didn’t you wake me! We’re going to be late!
“Why didn’t you wake me! We’re going to be late!” More rustling sounded, as Wilson rummaged through his own clothes.
Oh, don’t mind me! You’re only the head speaker at a lecture planned six months in advance!
“Oh, don’t mind me! You’re only the head speaker at a lecture planned six months in advance!”
Exasperated sigh.
Wilson let out an exasperated sigh.
Well, I, for one plan on going. I’m sure watching the empty stage for half an hour will make for one exhilarating time.
“Well, I, for one plan on going. I’m sure that watching an empty stage for half an hour will make for one exhilarating time.”
He could feel the dark eyes lingering on his back a moment, before the bathroom door slammed. House rolled over, grabbing his vicodin bottle off the nightstand between the two beds. He flicked the lid off and gulped down two pills, frowned, then gulped down two more.
Glancing at the clock, he dressed himself as fast as he could.
###
“And so I introduce Doctor Gregory House.”
Polite applause rang through auditorium. House smiled at the rather immodestly dressed lecturer and stepped up to the lecturn, his cane tapping on the wooden floorboards. He looked about the very young looking students in attendance and spied one that looked rather out of place. Wilson sat in the front row, between a bored looking gothic boy, and a pretty brunette, who tapped on her mobile phone with such fanaticism, it was as though stopping would cause her to go into cardiac arrest.
House cleared his throat and smiled at all of the not-particularly eager faces before him.
“I’m here to fill your already overstuffed little minds with garbage about the advancement of medical procedures, in the past few years.”
A shocked silence filled the audience. Wilson rested his forehead on his hand.
“I thought I’d start by singing a song. This is dedicated to the man in the front row, my colleague Jimmy Wilson.”
Wilson looked up and gave House a look that told him exactly what internal organ he’d be force-feeding him, once the humiliation was over.
“You’re just too good to be true…” House began. “Can’t take my eyes off you.”
Right up until the chorus, he was aware he had the entire room’s full attention. Even mobile-obsessed girl had flicked the receiver shut, to stare at him. He felt rather impressed with himself, considering that it was possibly the only time that any one had ever fully engaged a room full of students.
“Everybody DA DA DA DA DA DADA DA!”
As with all singalongs, it started small, a few students at first, then built, then more grew bold to join in, until finally the entire auditorium was singing along with him.
“I LOVE YOU BABY AND IF THAT’S QUITE ALRIGHT I LOVE YOU BABY TO FILL THE LONELY NIGHT I LOVE YOU BABY. TRUST IN ME WHEN I SAY!” The entire auditorium sang.
”That’s beautiful. Everyone…”
For his part, Wilson sat ramrod straight in his chair, smiling and laughing along with everyone else. For a moment he caught eyes with House. It was clear, despite the clear frozen, obligatory upturn of lips, that he was not impressed by the performance.
“OH PRETTY BABY.” The audience sang. “DON’T BRING ME DOWN I PRAY OH PRETTY BABY. NOW THAT I’VE FOUND YOU STAY AND LET ME LOVE YOU BABY LET ME LOVE YOU!”
The song ended and the entire audience erupted into applause and cheers.
“Thank you! You’ve been marvelous!”
He stepped off stage. The lecturer who had introduced him moved to him, mouth agape.
“Thanks for inviting me.”
###
He was half way down the outside corridor, when he heard familiar footsteps rushing towards him.
“What the hell was that all about?”
House turned and shrugged. “I just wanted to tell you how I feel.”
Wilson simply stared at him a moment, eyes blazing. House felt his heart start to inexplicably pound. This wasn’t his usual secretly-bemused-by-his-antics best friend. This was quite clearly humiliated and pissed off Wilson, who was about to give him a great scolding.
He won’t remember tomorrow, House told himself.
“I’m not going to get into the fact that you humiliated me in front of an entire room of students. For no reason whatsoever! Oh except to feed your ego, I guess. But you completely disregarded the importance of the speech you were about to make. This university-“
“Oh forget about the university!”
“Forget about the university? Do you have any concept-? Let me refresh you on a few things. I got you this lecture, remember? The hospital was about to fire you. And with good reason. But I told them you’d be a good boy and do this one thing for them, to prove your loyalty.”
Oh… House felt something within himself deflate. In all of the 105 days, he’d somehow forgotten that fact.
“And now, not only have you made yourself look bad. But you’ve also damaged my reputation with the hospital.”
The wooden doors to the entrance of the lecture halls opened, the clatter of feet and upturned desks signaling that the students would be exiting the room within the next few seconds.
“I vouched for you. And this is how you paid me back. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”
Dozens of footsteps, started down the hall. Wilson shook his head and moved away from House, who stood and watched him go, ignoring the unapologetic amusement of the students.
He told himself he wouldn’t do it again. Surely. He wasn’t that much of a jerk, right?
###
Day 106
“OH PRETTY BABY.” The audience sang. “DON’T BRING ME DOWN I PRAY OH PRETTY BABY. NOW THAT I’VE FOUND YOU STAY AND LET ME LOVE YOU BABY LET ME LOVE YOU!”
The song ended and the entire audience erupted into applause and cheers.
“Thank you! You’ve been marvelous!” He waited until the noise had died down. “Now… lecture….”
###
He was half way down the outside corridor, when he heard familiar footsteps rushing towards him.
“Well, that was… what was that song in the beginning about?” Wilson today looked rather amused. “Humiliating me for forcing you to do this, to begin with?”
“I just wanted to tell you how I felt about you.” He grinned.
“If you’re trying to come out to me, there’s no need. I just always assumed you were gay. What, with all the women you have slept with, over the years I’ve known you.”
House was suddenly aware of the feeling of barbed wire digging deep into the nerves of his thigh. He reached into his pocket for his vicodin, popped the lid and swallowed two.
“I actually think my attraction has been pretty obvious, over the years.”
“Right… so for the past ten years, you’ve been secretly crushing on your best friend. Despite going through countless women… and showing no sign whatsoever of being in any way interested in men.”
“Oh knock it off!”
Wilson blinked, clearly not expecting that reaction.
The wooden doors to the entrance of the lecture halls opened, the clatter of feet and upturned desks signaling that the students would be exiting the room within the next few seconds.
“Say something different! Anything different.”
“Fine! You’re not in love with me. You’re just trying to humiliate me.”
Dozens of footsteps, started down the hall. Wilson shook his head and moved away from House, who stood and watched him go, ignoring the unapologetic amusement of the students watching.
“Just keep convincing yourself of that, Jimmy!” He called out after him.
###
Day 107
“I just wanted to tell you how I felt about you.”
“If you’re trying to come out to me, there’s no need. I just always assumed you were gay. What, with all the women you have slept with, over the years I’ve known you.”
House was suddenly aware of the feeling of barbed wire digging deep into the nerves of his thigh. He reached into his pocket for his vicodin, popped the lid and swallowed two.
“The students are about to come out. Let’s not embarrass ourselves in front of them.”
“Like you care.” Wilson grumbled, but allowed House to lead him further away from the lecture hallway entrance, never the less.
Fallen autumn leaves dappled the green of the university lawn with various hues of red, yellow and orange. Only a few students milled about, walking briskly to the lectures that they were clearly late for. House kicked a few of the leaves about. It didn’t really matter what he said to convince him how he felt. Wilson always reacted in the same way. Complete disbelief.
Hell, he wasn’t even sure anymore why he was so desperate to get his best friend into the sack with him. It had started with the idea that perhaps if he did, then this ridiculous streak of same-days would finally stop. That was soon overridden by the better idea that he had always been somewhat attracted to his friend… ok, more than somewhat attracted but had given up a long time before on anything happening, reasoning that the friendship was preferable to having a fling, then seeing the only good relationship in his life crumbling.
But then, it didn’t matter anymore. They could kill each other and all that would happen was the day would simply repeat over. House had already experimented with the grim reaper, himself. On day 88 House had gone to the shower with the hotel room iron. He discovered that day that there was no afterlife. To be certain, he did it again on day 89. He woke up, as usual on day 90, with Wilson chiding him for not waking him up.
“What would you do if you only had today?”
“You mean, if I was going to die tomorrow? I don’t know, the usual, I guess. Say goodbye to all my loved ones, have lots of sex, go to some far out place. Somewhere I’d never been before.”
House looked up to the sky. It was already darkening. Within a few hours, the freak storm would start.
“What if you weren’t allowed to leave the place you’re in, even if you wanted to?”
A rueful smile crossed his lips. “Are you saying we’re stuck here? As in forever?”
“How would you respond, if I told you that I’ve always been rather attracted to you?”
What can I say? I’m a very good-looking guy. You must be really sexually frustrated if you’re now looking at me!
“What can I say? I’m a very good-looking guy. You must be really sexually frustrated if you’re now looking at me!”
“Must be true, huh?” House decided to give up on seducing his friend for now. He’d try again tomorrow.
###
Day 108
Tbc…