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𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
Patty purrs softly as she presses her face into Abigail’s chest, arms gently snaked around her as the woman carries her through the woods. The woods once seemed dark to Patty, especially at night, yet now they seem quiet. The forest’s inhabitants are all heading to bed, the night dwellers keeping watch. Patty and Abigail are no different.
She lifts her head softly, blinking heavily as Abigail lets go of her breath, her head tilting in Patty’s direction as she does so. She notices Patty stirring slowly, and she fixes her face into a small smile. “Hiya, dear.”
“..mmiisss..” Patty mumbles. “..where are we… ‘goin?”
“‘Goin back home,” Abigail replies, slowing her gait down to smooth over Patty’s bangs.
“..mm..” Patty frowns. She isn’t ready to go home. She’s just spent such a lovely day with Abigail.. getting to lie with her, and watch the stars.. letting Abigail take care of her, like a sick child.. getting to be with Abigail, after waiting so long for something so domestic.. she isn’t ready. She doesn’t want to go back home. “..already?”
“Already?” Abigail repeats.
“..can’t yew let me stay?” Patty whines. “I don’t want tew go back already…”
“Go back? Patty, I ain’t ‘takin you back outside ‘tha woods.. remember?” Abigail soothes. “We’re ‘gonna stay t’gether from now on, right?” Claws stroke Patty’s cheek, Patty leaning into the touch.
“..yeah, sawry..” Patty sighs. She keeps her mouth open, waiting for words that don’t come out. Something sits in the back of her head- what other home is there for her? All she can remember is waking up in the morning, in Abigail’s dwelling in the woods.. where else could she have remembered? What else could she have remembered?
“‘Yer all good, daffodil.” Abigail hums. “Go back t’sleep. I’ve ‘gotcha.”
Patty does as she’s told, letting her eyes shut gently. The breeze blows through her curls and relaxes her, even moreso with Abigail still gently stroking Patty’s cheek. She hums softly as she carries her, and Patty smiles to herself as she leans further into Abigail’s side.
The sun is beating down on Patty, despite the usually shaded cover of the woods. She sits under the careful protection of one of the trees surrounding the clearing, fidgeting with her hands as Abigail runs about doing… something.
Her head spins even as she sits. Her entire body aches like nothing she can ever remember feeling. The feeling of the gentle breeze ticking past Patty’s face fills her with nausea she can only relieve by resting her head against the back of the tree she’s under, closing her eyes and breathing slowly. She feels hot and cold at the same time, and she doesn’t know what to do to relieve that.
She hears grass rustling, and hooves clicking. Someone sits down next to her in the grass, and gently moves to sit beside Patty, by her tree. A hand strokes her arm, and Patty lets out a whine.
“Oh, sorry,” Abigail’s voice hits Patty’s ears quickly. “I didn’t think you were ‘sleepin,”
“I wasn’t.” Patty mumbles.
“Oh,” Abigail hums. “..d’you want to? I don’t mind..”
“No, no, it’s foine,” Patty rubs her face softly. “I just don’t think I slept super well.”
Abigail frowns. Patty hates seeing her upset. It reminds her of- no, no, now is not the time to be thinking about that. She gently puts her hand over top of Patty’s, squeezing it softly.
“‘Yer hands’re so soft, Patty,” Abigail comments.
“Really?” Patty asks. Of all the things Abigail could have complimented..? Whatever, she doesn’t mind, she’s just happy to be sitting here with her love.
“Yeah.” Abigail smiles to herself. “Way more than mine. I mean, that makes sense, ‘yer just new’t all this, and y’ain’t done a whole lot..” Patty’s ears start ringing before Abigail can finish her tangent. She holds her other hand to her other ear, shutting her eyes and letting out another whine.
She feels another squeeze on the hand Abigail is holding. Something touches her hand she doesn’t instantly recognize, and Patty opens her eyes again to see Abigail’s lips meeting her hand. She looks on at Patty, eyes full of concern. “..was it that bad?”
Patty snorts, a hand clamping over her mouth to hide her amusement. “N-No, Abby, don’t worry.” She giggles. “Dat’s very sweet of yew.”
Abigail kisses her hand again, and another bout of giggles erupt from Patty’s mouth. “What’re you ‘doin all that for?”
“I don’t know,” Patty’s mouth starts to slowly fix itself into a smile. “Maybe yew’re just real sweet, huh?”
Abigail’s eyes widen. “I’m sweet?”
“As sweet as sugar.”
The giggles come from Abigail this time, who takes Patty’s other hand, a flush washing over her cheeks. “Does this make me twice as sweet?”
Both women laugh, and Patty feels claws gently smooth her cheek over. She leans into the touch, and Abigail smiles to herself. Patty leans into her side, and lets Abigail comb through her curls. “What were yew ‘doin earlier?”
Abigail grabs for something at her side that Patty can’t see. “Can y’sit up on ‘yer own?”
“Think sew.”
Patty pushes herself away from the tree, and turns towards Abigail. She lets Abigail put her hands on her shoulders carefully and smooth her fur over. Her curls are longer now, she remembers, and the feeling is strange on her back. She misses her shorter hair, and she misses how it once felt.
When did she ever have short hair?
Patty buries her head in her hands, and she winces when she feels claws dig into her face. No blood is drawn, and no scar is left, but it is another reminder of how different everything is. The worst part is, though- she can remember all the differences, but she can’t remember when it was ever different. All she knows is being in the woods with Abigail, and it hurts her head. Everything hurts. Patty hurts.
“I didn’t mean to, if I was pulling,” Abigail replies, Patty not realizing she’d spoken. “Tell me if I am.”
“What are yew ‘doin?” Patty asks with a hoarse voice. She turns her head, and sees a pile of flowers in her love’s lap.
“Got these ‘fer you, Pattycake.” Abigail gestures to the wildflowers in her claws. Her hair still has a faint wave from the previous days, and she looks down at Patty with those kind eyes of hers. Claws comb through curls, and flowers plant themselves in between them. Patty groans as Abigail scratches her back for her, leaning into the gentle touch.
“Mm.” Patty decides. She leans back, and her head falls into Abigail’s lap. She looks up at her love, who, in return, gives Patty her cute little smile. “Abby, weren’t we ‘goin t’ dew ‘somethin t’day?”
“I don’t remember off the top of my head.. why d’you ask? Is there something in particular y’wanted t’get done?”
Patty closes her eyes, humming under her breath softly as she tries to think back to the day prior. Nothing rings any bells, and her face scrunches in frustration. It is slightly relieved by Abigail continuing to weave flowers into her hair, but it isn’t much.
“..I can’t remember anything.” She frowns, turning to Abigail. “..sawry..”
“That isn’t your fault, don’t apologize,” Abigail says matter-of-factly. “But, no, y’didn’t say anything about it yesterday.”
“Is dere anything yew want t’dew?” Patty asks.
Abigail goes silent for a few moments. “..well.. there is ‘somethin, but..”
“What is it?” Patty quicky turns around to face Abigail.
“There’s some places.. here in the woods that I’ve wanted t’take y’ to ‘fer a while.. I didn’t in the past, cause we just haven’t the time.. but..” She mumbles. “We don’t need t’ today.”
“Why nawt?” Patty asks.
“Y’don’t look too hot,” Abigail frowns. “I don’t know if y’d be up for it, that’s all.”
“I can handle it.” Patty feels a new emotion rising in her chest.. one she hasn’t felt in a while, much less ever around Abigail. Her tone indicates a lack of malice, yet.. it’s as if she forgets Patty can make her own decisions.
“Patty, y’look like ‘yer about to pass out.” Abigail signs. “I just worry if it’d be too much ‘fer you.”
“I can handle it.” Patty repeats, her tone lowering. The feeling feels awful. It reminds her of a time when she’d not been in control.. stuck under people who hadn’t cared for her or her well being, just caring to keep power over her. She can make her own decisions, she isn’t a child needing to be coddled. She’s a grown adult.
Abigail smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Alright. Okay.
We’ll go.”
Patty smiles back at her, and the feeling in her chest lies dormant again. What is that? She doesn’t remember the name for it.. it probably isn’t important.
Patty’s arms snake around Abigail’s neck as she traverses through the woods in her more deer-like form, resting carefully on her back. They walk through a field of wildflowers, and are surrounded by trees on every side.
“Where tew next, Abby?” Patty mumbles, her head still spinning like she’s on a theme park ride.
“Mm, well, we went by ‘tha creek and ‘th little waterfall already, plus ‘tha little clearing I’ve taken y’to before.. and there’s the cliff we went to last night.. hmm.. oh! I have an idea!” Abigail trails on, and on.. and it all sounds like ringing in Patty’s ears.
She lifts a hand of hers, the other still around Abigail’s neck, and she holds it tight over her ear. The ringing doesn’t stop, and she shuts her eyes, tight as she can to try to block the noise out. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
Abigail stops, and says something to Patty, but all it is to her is noise. She whines, curling into herself. The whole world is far too loud for her, and her head feels like it’s about to explode.
Suddenly, the world starts to darken at the edges. Her grip on Abigail’s neck falters, and she sees Abigail’s horrified expression before everything goes black.
“tty, Patty, hey,”
Claws brush hair away from her face.
“Patty. You’re okay. Patty-“
Patty’s eyes take a second to adjust to the sights above her. Abigail is hovering over her, panting and scared. Her hands come over Patty’s shoulders and hoist her to an upright position against a tree. She fidgets with her claws, waiting anxiously for a reply from her partner.
“..abbbyy?” Her voice is drawn out and slow.
Patty watches Abigail sigh with relief, and she squeezes Patty’s hand softly. “Don’t scare me like that.”
“I didn’t-“ Patty stops herself. “..sawry.”
Abigail’s nose twitches. “Again. Stop apologizing.”
“Sawry-“
“Stop!” Abigail raises her voice. “None of this is ‘yer fault. If I hear y’ say sorry one more time.. I’m..” Abigail stops to think of something, anything, but she ends her sentence with another sigh. “This ain’t no one’s fault except those.. those people..”
Patty opens her mouth, memories rushing back to her. “..Hector.”
“Hm?” Abigail lifts her head.
“..Hector. He did dis t’yew.” Patty mumbles. “He- he hurt yew. Abigail- he hurt da both of us. It’s- it’s his fault.” She clenches her fists. “I’m ‘goin t’ kill dat man.”
“Patty, hey,” Abigail cups her face. “Calm down. He ain’t here. He ain’t ‘hurtin either of us right now.”
“But he did. He did dis t’yew, and t’me, and he’s why yew’re hurting.”
“But he’s also why we’re together,” Abigail reminds her. “And y’ain’t ‘gonna get ‘nothin done ‘stayin upset about it all.”
Patty is about to add onto her sentence, but her voice hitches as she coughs into her arm, her body violently shaking as she does so. “B-But.. dere’s a reason why dere’s—“
“Patty,” Abigail insists. “‘Yer not up to how y’were before. Y’need t’ rest.”
Patty’s head finds itself against the tree. She whines as the pain continues to soak through her whole body. She’s been trying to ignore it all day, basking in the warmth Abigail has been radiating.. yet, it is still not enough. Patty has changed so much, and her body is begging for a break.
“Come, now,” Patty feels herself being lifted from the grass into arms. “Let me take care of you. Please.”
“..mmm..”
“You’ve done so much, Patty. You’ve been so brave. You don’t need to be brave right now.”
Patty groans as she is gently placed back on the bed of sticks and leaves. It is ever so comfortable, and something sits behind her head that props it up. It feels like a pillow of sorts. The same thin blankets from the day prior are draped over Patty’s body.
Her curls are laid behind her, and her bangs are pushed out of the way as some sort of damp rag is placed over her forehead. She sighs as it instantly starts to cool her down, and she feels her cardigan being slid onto her body.
Her head is lifted off of the pillow forwards with one of Abigail’s hands, and she hears Abigail ask her to open her mouth ever so faintly.
“Y’need t’ eat, Patty..” Abigail asks when Patty keeps her mouth shut. “I ain’t ‘gonna let you starve.”
Patty opens her mouth eventually, something hitting her tongue. She can’t see what Abigail is feeding her, but it’s something somehow delicious. The taste is somewhat familiar to her.. some sort of meat, she can gather. The warmth of it fills Patty’s chest as she swallows, and she smiles softly to herself as Abigail gives her a second serving of the dish.
..she doesn’t ask what she’s eating. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to know.
Rustling of the bed is heard above Patty, and she feels something wet against her cheek. She looks up to see Abigail, sitting on her limbs in her deer-like form, gently grooming her.
She remembers it to be something she’d do whenever she and Patty were together, whether it be relaxing in the clearing or by the log where they’d sit together.. Abigail working away at her jam..
Patty sniffles. When did that happen? She doesn’t remember ever experiencing that. Why is it in her brain? How did it get there? How does she have memories of herself before she looked the way she did before? It hurts more than her body.
Abigail is quick to brush away her tears, and she takes on her more humanoid form quickly, sitting over Patty. Her hands hover over her face, and she stares down at Patty anxiously. “Are’y hurting still?”
Patty nods, trying to hold back more of her tears. She doesn’t know if she has any more tears left in her, considering she’s been crying so much the past few days. She’s been waiting for it to feel good- to feel like she’s finally letting go of it all, but she’s been waiting for far too long.
Abigail frowns. She finds herself lying down next to Patty, pulling the woman close to her in her arms. Patty presses her head in the crook of Abigail’s neck, sighing deeply as she lets herself relax in her love’s arms.
“I ain’t good at this,” Abigail admits. “‘An I’m sorry.”
“..hm? What’dyew mean..?” Patty asks softly.
“..this is all ‘happenin so fast, ‘an I’m so sorry about that, Patty. Y’don’t deserve any of this. Y’deserve t’ still be with ‘yer loved ones.. y’deserve t’ not be ‘hurtin.. y’deserve the world, daffodil. I’m sorry I ain’t that.” Abigail says.
“..it is all fast, but dat ain’t anyone’s fault.” Patty mumbles. “At least I’m with yew.”
Abigail smiles to herself, her hands running over Patty’s head softly. She presses a kiss into her cheek, and Patty returns it with one on her lips. “This is the best part, though.. ‘gettin t’ be with you.”
Patty laughs to herself softly. “Issit?”
“‘Yer so kind t’ me,” Abigail whispers. “‘Yer the kindest person I think I’ve ever met. ‘Yer beautiful, too. But that ain’t important t’ me.”
“Then why mention it?”
“‘Cause it’s nice ‘knowin you know how beautiful y’are.” Abigail supplements, pulling Patty closer to herself. “Y’deserve t’ rest.”
“Mm.” Patty replies.
“You’ve spent so much time ‘worryin ‘bout me, daffodil, y’don’t need to worry about me ‘no more.” Abigail tells her. “I know this is all so different, and scary.. but I wanna make it less scary.” She soothes.
“When can I worry about yew again?” Patty asks, her voice slow.
“When the morning comes,” Abigail figures. “When you’re not hurting, dear.” She nuzzles against her head.
Patty nods against Abigail’s side, a quiet purr rising in her throat. Her tail wraps softly around Abigail’s long legs. “When did yew start ‘callin me daffodil?”
“A while ago,” Abigail admits. “Daffodils’re the first flowers to come back after the winter. They.. they push through all the cold dirt and still bloom. Reminds me of you- I hope that’s alright..”
Patty smiles softly. “Dat’s sew sweet, Abigail-“ She coughs into her arm, and a mix of phlegm and water comes out.
She inches away from Abigail, but Abigail is quick to pull her close again. “What’s ‘tha matter?”
“I think I’m sick,” Patty sighs. “..I don’t want tew get yew sick tew.”
“I don’t care.” Abigail murmurs into her shoulder. “‘Yer ‘recoverin.”
“From what?” Patty whines. “I knew ‘somethin happened, but what?”
“You died, Patty-“
“I know!” Patty’s voice begins to raise. “What happened? Why am I da way I am, a-and nawt how I used tew look b’fore?”
Abigail opens her mouth and closes it. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. If I knew why you changed so much.. I’d tell you.”
Patty feels more tears down her cheeks, yet these tears feel hot and angry. “..I’m sawry ‘fer ‘raisin my voice at yew, Abigail. I know yew don’t know. I just…” She sucks in a breath through her nose. “It makes me feel like I’m a little kid. Nawt ‘knowin ‘anythin, and other people ‘thinkin they know more den I dew. Especially about myself. It’s.. it’s how dey treated me. ‘Fer years.” She feels so tired after getting it off of her chest, and she has no idea why she remembers any of this. It hurts.
“I bet.” Abigail frowns. “I’m sorry if I was making you feel that way.. I didn’t mean to.”
“I know, Abby,” Patty mumbles as she nuzzles against her neck. “Dat’s why I love yew sew much.”
“There has to be more than that,” Abigail jokes, but Patty doesn’t laugh. She purrs as she rubs against the crook of Abigail’s neck, the whiskers dotting her face tickling Abigail softly.
“You should rest. That’s me ‘bein a concerned girlfriend, Patty.” Abigail says.
Abigail referring to herself as Patty’s girlfriend blankets her in an unexplainable comfort, just like the night prior. She coos as Abigail kisses her cheek again, her eyelids beginning to flutter shut. As they close, she remembers how tired she is. Yet, despite how much her body hurts, her mind feels fuzzy.. the warmth from being with Abigail fills her with all the comfort to kickstart her healing process.
And, yet, despite how long it had felt like sneaking out of her parents’ house as a teenager to meet with her secret lover; now, being here with her love feels like returning home after a long day. No more hiding, no more secrets, no more regrets. All she can remember is love, loving, and being loved.
𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧