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1.
“Your smile is amazing.”
Wade could only gape at Spider-Man. He'd forgotten his mask was half-way up.
“I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you say-”
“You have the most perfect teeth!” Spider-Man was serious.
“Why thank you, I just had them knocked out and re-grown,” Wade blushed.
“I've gotta go, Wade, but thanks for the burrito and the conversation!” Spider-Man swung away, embarrassed at himself. Wade blew him a kiss but Peter never saw it.
Wade kept his mask up around Spider-Man more often after that.
2,
“So it comes to this. Deadpool,” Tony Stark grimaced under his Iron-Man armour. The full team of Avengers stood in front of Wade.
“Hi, Wade!” Clint waved.
Deadpool was lying on top of a large pile of glittering, gold treasure. Stolen treasure.
“Sorry, guys. I got paid to guard this sweet loot. I think I was a pirate in another life. I feel like Smaug!" Deadpool did a breaststroke in the treasure. "C'mon, guys, treasure! You can't blame me for loving treasure!” Deadpool was wearing a bunch of expensive looking rings and necklaces
Captain America did not look impressed. Black Widow did not look like she cared.
“Wade!” Spider-Man lowered himself upside-down from the ceiling.
“Eeeep!” Deadpool jumped. Gold coins fell everywhere.
“How could you, Wade? I thought you were done working for the bad guys,” Spider-Man crouched in front of him and crossed his arms.
“It's not what it looks like!... Okay, it might be what it looks like. Here comes the guilt,” Wade sighed and twiddled his thumbs.
“Alright, everyone. Get the goods, Spider-Man's got this!” Tony yelled out.
“Hey now, I've still got a job,” Wade made a motion to grab his guns but Spider-Man put a hand on his chest.
“Wade,” Spider-Man leaned in to whisper, “let's go somewhere private and experiment with bondage,” Spider-Man's mask winked.
“OK!” Deadpool jumped up and led Spider-man away by the hand, not caring about his job or the Avengers.
After finding a private room with a bed Deadpool leaned into Spider-Man.
“My body is ready,” he breathed huskily.
“Good. Go stand against that wall. Now, turn around with your forehead pressed against the wall. Put your arms up above your head,” Spider-Man ordered and Wade shivered. Two webs shot out and pinned his hands to the wall.
“You've been a naughty boy, Wade,” Spider-Man was right up against his back, voice low and dangerous.
“Mmm, it's true. I need to be thoroughly punished,” Wade stuck his hips out, hoping they would brush up against Spider-Man and was sad when they didn't.
“You asked for it.”
Spider-Man spent the next three minutes brutally spanking Deadpool's spandex covered ass while the large man just moaned and screamed for more.
“Bad Deadpool! Very bad!” Spider-Man couldn't help but laugh, he was having a hard time keeping up a serious demeanour.
“You know this is only going to reinforce my bad behaviour, right?” Deadpool gasped.
“OK,” Spider-Man stopped and walked away.
“Wait! Don't go!” Deadpool trembled against the wall.
“If you take on one more evil job I'm never spanking you again. The choice is yours,” Spider-Man continued walking.
“Spidey! Don't leave me here!” Wade cried.
“The webs will dissolve in an hour, just enough time for you to think about my offer. Bye, Wade!” Spider-Man said cheerfully and ran off to find the Avengers.
Wade slammed his head against the wall and did a lot of thinking.
3.
“Spidey, it's been a month and I swear to Odin I haven't killed anyone or taken any bad jobs from any bad guys and-and and- I've been so good! Do good boys get rewards?” Deadpool was jumping up and down like a puppy.
“Promise you're not lying?”
“I promise! No bad stuff. Life's been kind of boring, though,” Wade pouted and Spider-Man couldn't help but laugh a little.
“Alright. Well, you're in luck, good boys do get rewards!”
Wade gasped and hopped in excitement.
“Oh! Oh! Can I get spanked, please?”
“Actually, I was thinking I could take you out to a movie,” Spider-Man said shyly.
“Oooh, you're totally asking me on a date, aren't you? I'm all yours,” Deadpool offered his arm and Spider-Man surprisingly enough took it.
Spider-Man insisted on buying the movie tickets and popcorn. It was such a small gesture but Wade couldn't help but swoon and watch Spider-Man more than he watched the movie.
After the movie they walked down the street with a bucket of popcorn Wade had insisted on getting refilled on the way out.
“Have we gotten to the kissing part of the date yet?” Wade couldn't help but ask. Spider-man took a moment to consider this but before he could respond they heard screaming down the street.
“Is that-”
“Yes, I think that might be Godzilla and King-Kong. Those are totally illusions, right? Those aren't real monsters, we can just ignore that, right?” Wade wasn't impressed.
“Wade,” Spider-Man reached out to hold Wade's hand, “are you ready to be a hero?” Spider-Man's smile was visible under the mask.
“Since I was five, where have you been?” Wade gave the bucket of popcorn to a man lying on the street and let Spider-Man take his hand and run away with him.
4.
Spider-Man and Deadpool had been too tired to get to any goodnight kisses after the giant dinosaur and giant monkey fiasco and post-disaster clean-up.
However, Spider-Man had agreed to go on a date with Deadpool the very next night.
“Hey,” Spider-Man met Deadpool on a rooftop under a full moon.
“Hey,” was all Wade could get out before Spider-Man was pulling him down and planting searing kisses all over his lips.
It didn't take long for them to devolve into a tangled heap of limbs on the ground as they rode each other to orgasm, fully clothed and making a complete mess of their tights.
“Hoooly fuuuck,” Wade looked up at the moon and had never been so struck by its beauty before, “you are a complete fucking animal,” he sighed fondly. Spider-Man snuggled into him.
“Mmmmm. I hate having to wait until the end of the date to get to the good part,” Spider-Man kissed his hand.
“So what do we do now? Find a cozy room with a bed and a TV and pretend to watch movies while we go down on each other?” Wade said hopefully.
“Another night. I was thinking we do something cheesy like sharing a milkshake or banana split and then go out crime-fighting,” Spider-Man wrapped his arm around Deadpool's neck and felt the larger man scoop him up by the waist. Wade lifted him up in his arms and kissed him, imagining how picture perfect they must look under the moon.
It sounded like a perfect night to Wade.
5.
“Wade, babe, you awake?”
“Peter, love, you're alive! Why you cryin', boy?” Wade's current state was a bloody mess of broken bones and stab wounds. He still had enough energy to feebly reach up to stroke his boyfriend's cheek.
Peter was unmasked and had Wade's head in his lap. They were at home on their couch. Peter leaned over to plant a few upside-down kisses on Wade's face.
“Because I hate seeing you hurt, dumbass,” Peter sniffled and couldn't stop himself sobbing even though he knew Wade's body was repairing itself.
“Don't cry, baby boy. My super power is not being able to die, remember?” Wade kind of loved being treated as if he was fragile even though he wasn't.
“I know,” Peter wiped away his tears, “but when you're hurt you're like a girl on her period, all cranky and bleeding. You're bleeding all over the co-ou-ouch.” Peter couldn't help but cry even though Wade was laughing at him.
“I love you,” Wade said as if he were in a dream. Peter tried to stop crying and kissed him.
“Love you, love you, love you,” Peter kissed Wade's face over and over again as if he would disappear. Wade didn't mind the tears wetting his face at all.
-1.
Wade and Peter were wearing their comfy pajamas and watching Golden Girls. Wade was sitting on one end of the couch while Peter was lying all over it with his head in Wade's lap, his face looked up at the ceiling mournfully.
“God, I fuuuucking haaaate Golden Girls,” Peter admitted.
“The fuck did you say, son?” Wade looked down at him incredulously.
“I hate it, hate it, hate it!”
“Get the fuck off my couch, philistine!” Wade made no motion to push Peter away in spite of his great disappointment.
“I can't stand Bea Arthur and her trampy man voice,” Peter groaned.
“Get the fuck away from me, ho!” Wade said but still didn't move him.
“You know, I think it says a lot about how much I love you that I'm willing to endure this,” Peter sat up and snuggled into Wade.
“Oh no, you do not insult Bea and then try and get all romantical on me!”
“You know, just because we love each other doesn't mean we have to love all the same things, right?” Peter pressed a kiss into Wade's cheek who swatted him away.
“You hate Golden Girls you hate me, you are no longer my soul mate. Get off me, ya damn Yank!” Wade made the weakest attempt to push Peter away which didn't even budge Peter one centimeter.
“Just because I don't like Golden Girls doesn't mean I can't still love you... Wade? Wade, forgive me, I'll do that thing you love with a banana and Nutella...”
“Fine. And since we're being honest with each other I'm never watching Cosmos with you again.”
“That's fair, we already watched the whole show.”
“Fuck.” Wade slung his arm around Peter and kissed him anyway.