Chapter Text
[LAURA_HOLLIS created Dimwit Squad]
[LAURA_HOLLIS added CARMILLA_KARNSTEIN]
CARMILLA_KARNSTEIN: What the frilly hell is this
LAURA_HOLLIS: carm i stg
LAURA_HOLLIS: you KNOW what group chats are
LAURA_HOLLIS: you know how ur followers get about you being "technologically illiterate"
CARMILLA_KARNSTEIN: Can't you change your name in this thing? Because, if so, I'd like to go by Countess Karnstein.
LAURA_HOLLIS: yeah you can... but why...
CARMILLA_KARNSTEIN: ...
CARMILLA_KARNSTEIN: Reasons
CARMILLA_KARNSTEIN: Also, you have to add more than your girlfriend to a conversation for it to be considered a group chat.
LAURA_HOLLIS: i am AWARE
CARMILLA_KARNSTEIN: I do approve of the name
[CARMILLA _KARNSTEIN has changed their name to COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN]
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: Much better...
[LAURA_HOLLIS has changed their name to CARM'S_HOT_GF]
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: ...I'm not complaining about that either...
CARM'S_HOT_GF: ;))))
[CARM'S_HOT_GF added LAFILPHORMES, DA_LOLA, MATTIELIVES, D_BEAR, MELANIPPE, JEEP_THE_DEAD, BETTYTHESMARTONE, and KIRSCHINATOR]
DA_LOLA: oh shit waddup
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: Grandmother curses!
DA_LOLA: shut your mouth, Carmilla
CARM'S_HOT_GF: perry do not talk to my gf like that or else i will beat you with your rubber gloves
LAFILPHORMES: ................laura?
CARM'S_HOT_GF: yeah, hi laf... i added you out of courtesy bc i'm not a bad friend. unlike SOMEONE...
LAFILPHORMES: um
[LAFILPHORMES has left the conversation]
DA_LOLA: i do apologize for that situation, laura. it was in my best intentions and i meant to be more sympathetic, but it came across as cold and rude. i am sorry.
CARM'S_HOT_GF: i forgive you perry
CARM'S_HOT_GF: still bitter, but u r forgiven
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: agreed
KIRSCHINATOR: is the srs tlk ovr withh?
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: Wilson, dear basketball-headed Wilson, why must you type like a thirteen year old middle schooler?
KIRSCHINATOR: ez-er
[CARM'S_HOT_GF has changed their name to LAURACROFT]
LAURACROFT: kirsch you sound like my cousin
KIRSCHINATOR: k kewl
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: THAT IS ATROCIOUS
D_BEAR: why am I even IN this group chat?
LAURACROFT: we need your reluctant tall muscley evilness
D_BEAR: why ???
LAURACROFT: to help us in our quest for the true goodness in life
D_BEAR: and what is that?
LAURACROFT: carm can't reach the last chocolate chip cookie on the kitchen shelf and it'd be great if someone could retrieve it
D_BEAR: I'M OUT
[D_BEAR has left the conversation]
LAURACROFT: dammit
LAURACROFT: guess ur gonna have to quit being stingy carm and buy that stepladder
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: fuuu---
MELANIPPE: LANGUAGE, KARNSTEIN.
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: I DO WHAT I WANT
BETTYTHESMARTONE: I'm the only one who can do what they want because I'm tHE SMART ONE
LAURACROFT: exCUSE YOU
DA_LOLA: i just love a good crescendo of uppercase
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: f u Perry
DA_LOLA: i'm good
MATTIELIVES: She's good.
JEEP_THE_DEAD: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE
KIRSCHINATOR: BRO
[SWAGHILIA has joined the conversation]
LAURACROFT: ????????????
COUNTESS_KARNSTEIN: UM
DA_LOLA: oh SHIT
MATTIELIVES: Lola. LANGUAGE.
KIRSCHINATOR: huh?
JEEP_THE_DEAD: S O S
BETTYTHESMARTONE: oh dear
MELANIPPE: >:))))))))))))))
SWAGHILIA: sup bitches ;) it's elsie
LAURACROFT: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--