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” It’s okay Levi, no one is here to see you cry,” Irvin once said to him.
Levi sighs as he pulls his uninjured knee to his chest. His words replay in his mind over and over again. He’s right, no one is here to see him, humanity’s strongest soldier cry. But then, he thinks, what the hell is the point? If no one is here to see him, then he can’t even honor his fallen comrades with his tears.
Levi sighs again, his knee still tight against his chest. He’s lost squads before, larger than this, stronger than this, but also nothing like this. This was a team he hand picked himself, of soldiers that he believed he could trust his life with. That was one of the reasons he assigned them into a single team to guard Eren, because he really believed they could protect him.
“Well, I was wrong.” he whispers to himself, forehead resting on his knee as he looks down at himself. He feels the water begin to build in his eyes, threatening to flow over. He just states Irvin’s words in his mind again, and the feeling fades as quick as it came.
His eyes move over to his door. He simply came back and slammed it shut, not bothering to lock it. He knows that no one would bother him after something like this happened. Even Hanji, the women who seems to take pleasure in bothering him, would know not to come in. He feels content, knowing that no human being would dare coming in here.
The next thought hits him like a sack of bricks. His eyes shoot open, wider than anyone has ever seen them. He reaches over and grasps the crutch Hanji got for him. He all but jumps off his bed, hobbling over to the door. He reaches his hand out, mere inches from the lock before the door knob is turned, and the door gently pushed open, revealing one slightly shocked adolescent boy.
Eren. Levi thinks, his expression of surprise instantly fading from his face.
“Um, sir.” Eren starts, “Hanji told me that I should come and find you.”
That settles it. Levi is going to kill that women. He is going to make her death excruciating. Maybe feed her slowly to one of her pet titans, maybe just chop off her head and be done with it.
“Corporal?” Eren asks, interrupting his thoughts, “Are you alright?”
“Fine.” Levi answers within a second, “go back to your room, you need to rest after that mission.”
“You don’t look fine,” Eren whispers.
“What was that?” Levi asks, glaring at the boy. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this, he should just slam the door in the brats face. He decides that would be the best course of action, pushing against the door. However, his force is equally met on the other side, keeping the door where it was.
“I said, you don’t look fine sir.” He repeats himself, voice louder this time.
“Well, you’re obviously looking at the wrong person. Go, Jaeger, before I kick your ass down to your room-”
“It’s not your fault sir.” Of course Eren would bring that up. He unwillingly lets out another sigh before returning his gaze to the boy in front of him.
“It’s not yours either, Eren. Now get the hell out of my face.”
“Your eyes are red, sir. Were you crying?” Eren asks, quickly adding. “It’s alright to cry sometimes Corporal, it just shows we’re human.”
“What the hell is the point of crying if there’s no one there to see it?” Levi finds himself replying instantly. He doesn’t expect the next reply.
“I’m here.”
Levi finds himself surprised, caught in a powerful embrace. The water in his eyes threatens to spill over again. He mentally curses, trying to will it away. He repeats Irvin’s words in his head, over and over. He just can’t seem to follow them as he is held tightly.
“I swear to god Eren,” Levi starts, barely able to contain the crack in his voice that was about to occur. He opens his mouth to speak again, but his voice catches in his throat as he’s lifted into the air. He hears the door shut before he is being taken towards his bed. Just as he’s about to start throwing punches at him, he is gently set down, followed by an added weight right next to him on the bed. He turns, ready to verbally assault the boy, but is again silenced as the arms return to their positions around him.
Now, new phrases are repeating in his mind. “It’s okay to cry Corporal, I’m here.” He can’t control it anymore, he knows he can’t. He cringes as he feels the wetness roll down his cheeks.
For the first time in so many years, Levi is crying.
He trembles in Eren’s grasp, letting out years of pent up emotions out in seconds. Every horrific scene plays out in his head. Eren, to his credit, stays silent as his corporal cries silently into his shoulder. He has already said all he could to comfort him, anything more would have set him off, he knows it.
After a minute, Levi finds himself crying just as hard as when he started. He has no idea when it will stop, he has never cried like this before. He opens his eyes, fully prepared to glare at the boy holding him. Looking up though, he can see Eren’s eyes are closed, a steady stream of water falling down his face as well. He returns his gaze downward, finally feeling the tears begin to stop. His breath catches in his throat as he feels another pair of arms wrap around his torso, then another.. He looks around, but the only two people in the room are himself and Eren. He remembers some stupid story Hanji told before.
“The dead sometimes stay, just long enough to say their final goodbyes.”
The tears return to his eyes, threatening to let themselves flow in sobs instead of a silent stream. Eren smiles knowingly as a cold hand brushes his stomach. This is their last goodbye, and they get see the corporal cry, he thinks. He stays in this position, not daring to let go until he feels the weight leaned against him grow. He opens his eyes, and find Levi’s closed, a light stain present on his face from the tears.
A calm expression is on his face, masking his usually harsh one. He gently pushes Levi off him, setting him down gently on the bed, before pulling the covers to cover his torso. He reaches over the table next to the bed, and gasps the piece of white cloth Levi had left there. He gently dabs at his face, wiping away the lines that had stained his face.
He folds the cloth, returning it to it’s place on the table. He stands, and begins walking towards the door. He pauses though, turning back for a moment to bend over the Corporal’s sleeping form. He plants a light kiss on his forehead, before turning again and walking out the door, closing it as quietly as possible behind him.
For once, Levi slept peacefully.