Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

‘Class 5A’

[6:28 AM]

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] : @everyone whos ready for the first day of classes! :D

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : no

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : i hate this already

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : somebody kill me

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : gladly.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : not u fuck off

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : 🖕

SweetHomeAlabama [@naomitanizaki] : im excited!!

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] : me too!!! :]

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : I am fully prepared to learn and get ready for my future.

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : lol nerd

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : 👀🏳️‍🌈

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 🌈🌈🌈

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] :  fruity af

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : fr

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : @everyone Would anyone like to come get breakfast with me and Nathaniel in the dining hall?

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : MEMEMEMEME!!!!!

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : stfu

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : no <3

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : @edgarallanpoe tell nathaniel to go fuck himself

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Ok-

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : not again

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Nathaniel asked me to tell you that: “God will never forgive you and when you perish you will burn in hell and suffer like the sinful rodent you are. You are a stain on the beautiful world God created for us and you should be treated as such.”

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : OMFG AJLKGJSFLKHJLDKH

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : LMAOOOO

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : JFC THIS GUY IS INTENSE

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : THIS GUY SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WOULD COME TO UR DOORSTEP AND TELL YOU ABT GOD’S GREATNESS OR WHATEVER

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : A JEHOVAH’S WITNESS??

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : YEAH

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : He’s carried a bible around since he was like… 10.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : JKGLDJLHJFLJLKF

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : WTFFFF

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : WHY DO U KNOW THAT????

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : WAIT YEA

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : POE’S A STALKER CONFIRMED?? (NOT CLICKBAIT)

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : LMAOOOO

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : HES NOT A STALKER YOU BANDAGE-WASTING WALKING PILE OF SHIT

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : i

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : @edogawaranpo 👏👏👏

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : tyty 😌

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Thank you for defending my honor, Ranpo-kun.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : anytime poe-kun 🥰🥰

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : …a whole fruit basket

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : SHUT

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : @edgarallanpoe no fr tho why do u know that

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Me and Nathaniel grew up together. He’s one of my foster siblings.

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : WHAT

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : 🍵

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : RLLY???

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : I was unaware of this, despite having classes with Nathaniel for 2 years prior to now. 

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : isnt he a senior?

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Yes. He wants to become a priest, I believe. He should be moving back to America after he’s finished getting his degree.

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : slay christian girlie 😍😍🙏🙏🛐🛐🛐✝️📕⛪

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : GJGLSKJGLKDGJLD STOPPP

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : LMAOOO

SweetHomeAlabama [@naomitanizaki] : how many siblings do you have poe?

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Uhhh I believe 6 in total? I have 2 foster sisters and 4 foster brothers. If you count Nathaniel’s girlfriend, since shes basically family, then 7 in total with 3 sisters.

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : HOW DOES NATHANIEL GET BITCHES??

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : cuz hes better than u 😒🙄

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : STFU U FUCKING FURRY 

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : IM NOT A FURRY DIPSHIT UR LITERALLY SO BLIND

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : EMO LOOKIN ASS BITCH

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : U WANNA GO?

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : MEET ME IN FRONT OF DORMITORY 2 MOTHERFUCKER

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : BET

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : STOP ENCOURAGING THEM???

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : GIN NO

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : @ginakutagawa ILL RECORD

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : ILL BRING THE POPCORN

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : TY BESTIE

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : NP GIRLIE

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : fuck it

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : ill bring blankets for us to sit on

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : LETS GOOO

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : YOU SHOULD NOT BE FIGHTING ON SCHOOL GROUNDS!! I AM DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF YOU FOR ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR, ESPECIALLY ON A CLASS DAY!!!!!

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : SUCK MY DICK MOTHERFUCKER

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : fruity af 🌈🌈

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : frrr

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : stfu ranpo u cant say anything

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : NEITHER CAN YOU???

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 😒💅

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : how did this go from talking abt poe’s foster siblings to a fucking fight to dazai and kunikida being gay (again)???

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : I am a straight man.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : AINT NO WAY

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : WTF HOWWW

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : I LITERALLY WATCHED U AND DAZAI MAKE OUT HOW TF R U STRAIGHT?????

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : That was for a dare. There were no feelings involved and therefore that is no proof that I am not a straight man. A man does not fit my ideals.

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : bros so deep in denial

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : bffr…

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : i give up.. u guys r so hopeless smh

[ @edogawaranpo has sent an image. Its a photo of Nathaniel and Poe talking, but is zoomed in more specifically on Nathaniel. He has a cross necklace, a bible next to his breakfast dish, a miniature bible on his belt, and he has rosary beads wrapped around his hand. ]

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : i-

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : bros devoted af..

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] : good for him! ^v^

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : do u think he has an emergency bible somewhere

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : He does.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : LSJGLKFJLHD

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : LMAOO IM DYING FJLSKHGJD

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : NATHANIEL IS SCOLDING POE 4 EXPOSING HIM

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : I CANT BRWTHE

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : JKLJFKGJDLKHKLD

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : this chat is so fucking weird 😭

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : FR

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : this fight entertaining af tho

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : theres a whole crowd

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : i love watching my brother get his ass beat

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : sushi is definitely stronger than he looks. most of the crowd is cheering him on

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : wait kyouka ur here??

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : yeah

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : come sit with us, theres space on the blankets still

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : we have plenty of popcorn

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : ok where r u guys?

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : by the cherry blossom tree right next to the dormitory entrance

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : oh ok i see u guys

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : is dazai filming?

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : he has been the whole time

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : good cuz i wanna see that shit!!

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : why dont u just come watch???

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] :  uhm cuz im EATING????? DUH???

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : He won’t go because I don’t like crowds and he doesn’t want to go without me.

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : AWWWWW 🥺🥺

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : thats so sweet…

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : FUCK OFF YOSANO

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : no 🌈

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : I THINK ATSUSHI JUST BROKE AKUTAGAWA’S NOSE

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : OMG YEA

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : FUCK I WANNA SEE THIS SHIT- IMA JOIN U GUYS

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : WE GOT PLENTY OF ROOM AND SNACKS!!!

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] : can i come too? i want some popcorn

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : OFC!! COME ON

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] : yay!!! :D

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : DAMN IF WE HAVIN A WHOLE ASS PARTY IM COMING TOO

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : ME AND NAOMI R COMIN!!

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM!!!

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : THIS IS SO MUCH FUCKIN FUN LOLLL

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : i love watching ppl beat each other half dead 😍

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : FR!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : dont worry guys, if one of them dies, we can make sure nathaniel puts them to rest 😌🙏

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : JGDLFJHLKDJHL LMAOOO

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Us three are heading over to you guys now.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : i thought u didnt like crowds?

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : I don’t, but as long as Ranpo, Nathaniel, and Karl are there I should be fine.

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : who tf is karl???

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : My pet raccoon.

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : UR WHAT??

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : WHY A RACCOON????

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : WHY NOT A DOG OR A CAT??

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Why not a raccoon?

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : fair enough ig

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : @edgarallanpoe can i see him?

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : Of course! We’re almost there.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : HURRY UP THIS SHIT IS GOOD

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : cheering for atsushi!!

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : as you should.

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : no plz i bet dazai 50 bucks that akutagawa would win

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : be prepared to pay up then.

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : atsushi for the win!! 😍😍😍

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : ??? akutagawa is literally ur brother?????

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : so? i wanna see his ass beat lmao

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : JGKSFJLKGD

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : dayum tough love LOL

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : OMG KARL IS SO CUTE GUYS 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[ @kyoukaizumi has sent an image. Its a picture of Karl sitting in Kyouka’s lap and nibbling on a piece of popcorn. ]

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : AWWWW

SweetHomeAlabama [@naomitanizaki] : ADORABLE!!! <3

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : He is quite precious.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : OMG UR AWAKE

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : HI 😍

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : 🌈🌈🌈🌈

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 😊🔪🔪🔪

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I have been awake for about an hour already. I just haven’t said anything.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : thats so valid of you 💕💕💕

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : ❤️

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : JFLSKJGLKDFJLKGD

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : FUCK YEA I THINK AKUTAGAWA DISLOCATED ATSUSHI’S JAW LMAOOO

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : bro there are so many people making bets 😭😭 this feels like an actual fighting ring LMAO

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : fr

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : SHIT

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : CAMPUS SECURITY IS COMING

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : FUCKFUCKFUCK

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : SCATTER

[8:22 AM]

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : this class is so boring 😒

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : its literally the first day?? all theyre doing is explaining their class bro

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : my professor is making us take a mandatory review

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : damnnn that sucks

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : what class is that?

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : algebra

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : istg ima skip at this point

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : No you will not. This review is very beneficial to your education and your success in this class. Now stop texting during class, I can see you’ve missed half the notes.

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : ??? r u stalking me??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : first poe now u.. 😔

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : i knew he was crazy all along..

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : anyone who studies before the school year starts is crazy anyway lmao

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : true

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Dazai I’m literally sitting right behind you.

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : OH

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : hi bbg ;)

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : LAJLKGJSFLKG LMAOOO

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : ew

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Stop with your inappropriate behavior before I report you to the Dean of Students! And put your phone away and focus on the lecture!

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : omg hes blushing 🥺🥰🥰😊

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : I AM NOT!

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : AWWWW

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : yall r so fruity fr… 🌈🌈🌈

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : Focus on your class, Yosano.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : i will, sorry 💕

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : It’s quite alright. ❤️

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : @doppokunikida why cant we be like this ^^^

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : bro is literally so desperate 😔

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : press f to pay respects 😔😔

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : f

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : f

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : f

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : HELP KUNIKIDA-KUN JUST REPORTED ME TO THE PROFESSOR

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : damn thats some pretty rough rejection 😔

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : JGLKDJGLKFDHPGHMP8RHG03NGF

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : bro just died

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : finally

[12:04 PM]

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : FINALLY LUNCH TIME!!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : IM SO HUNGRYYYY

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : ur always hungry

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : true

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : BUT STILL

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : WHO WANTS TO EAT LUNCH WITH ME? @everyone

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : If it’s alright, I’d like to sit with you. Nathaniel is currently calling his girlfriend, so he will not be joining me.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : OFC OFC UR ALWAYS WELCOME POE-KUN!!

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : …

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 🌈🌈🌈

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : fuck u

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : im gonna sit with u whether u like it or not

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : kouyou’s coming too 💕💕

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : ugh fine 😒

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : can me and naomi eat with u guys?

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : ofc!!

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : ty!!

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : me, gin, and dazai r coming over!!

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : dayum i guess ill come too

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : i’ll sit with u guys since i cant sit with atsushi

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : oh wait where are atsushi and akutagawa? i didnt see where they went after the fight this morning lol

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : theyre in the infirmary. atsushi’s jaw got dislocated and akutagawa’s nose is broken

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : DAMNNN

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : did their phones get taken away? i feel like one of them wouldve texted by now

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : yeah their phones were confiscated LMAOOO

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : wait really?

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : yeah ryuu told me when i visited

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : sushi is gonna be lonely tho :c

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : i can try to convince the dean of students to give it back to u

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : how??

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : yea sorry ranpo, i dont think ur persuasion skills r that good 😭😭

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : agreed, i hear the dean is pretty damn strict

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : guys plz 😭

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : hes literally my dad

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : WHAT

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : EXCUSE ME???

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : 👀👀

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : ill see if i can get him to get both their phones back 😎 dw he loves me too much to say no 🤪🤪

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] :  😀😄😀

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : okay then

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : @chuuyanakahara Can you inform Dazai that our algebra professor needs to speak with him after classes? His phone is still in her possession.

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : why do i have to do it?? ur the one whos gay for him

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : fr 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : I do not understand why I must repeat this so frequently but I am NOT gay. I am a straight man and I am most definitely NOT in love with Dazai of all people. He does not fit my ideals in the SLIGHTEST. Chuuya, you are not only friends with him but also having lunch with him right now, so it only makes sense that you should be the one to inform him.

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : denial is a river in egypt..

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : jfc fine ill do it

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : ‘i do not understand why’ BRO U LITERALLY MADE OUT WITH HIM.. WE SAID KISS HIM NOT STICK UR TONGUE DOWN HIS THROAT??

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : LJDLKGJLG LMAOOO

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : FR THO I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THAT?? LIKE BRO I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA KISS DAZAI ON THE CHEEK OR SOMETHING NOT EXPLORE HIS ENTIRE GODDAMN MOUTH??????

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 🎶dora dora dora the explorer🎶

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : STOPPPP

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : IM DYING PLSSSS SDGJLKDFJKLG

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : LUNCH IS OVER. THE CAFETERIA IS CLOSED, GET TO CLASS OR LEAVE AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE.

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : okay dora 🙄

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : JFSLGJKLDJBLKDJKHL

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : PLSSSS

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : LDJFKLJGLSKJLM HFAHFLSGHAHAA

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : LMAOOOOOO

[ @doppokunikida has muted this chat.]

[4:02 PM]

[ @osamudazai has unmuted this chat.]

[ @osamudazai has revoked admin privileges from @doppokunikida .]

[ @osamudazai has given admin privileges to @ozakikouyou .]

[ @ozakikouyou has revoked admin privileges from @osamudazai .]

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : wtf??

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : why did dazai have admin to begin with

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : maybe that was his reward for giving kunikida head

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : JGLKDSJGLKDFJHLKDJ GIN PLEASEEEE

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : UR SO OUTTA POCKET

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : ew can we not talk abt dazai giving head

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : im just saying… maybe kunikida explored more than just his mouth

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : STOP

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : HELP GIN JUST STARTED BLASTING THE DORA THE EXPLORER THEME SONG FROM HER ROOM 😭😭😭

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : IM DYINGDGGKL

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : im guessing dazai got his phone back then

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : u know it 😎

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : the professor was such a bitch abt it tho

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : she was all like “i do not accept this kind of rambunctious behavior in my lectures, especially not on the first day blah blah blah”

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : JKFSG WHAT?? THE HELL?????

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : who tf uses the word rambunctious???

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : IKR

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : THEN SHE KEPT GOING ON ABT HOW KUNIKIDA WAS A MODEL STUDENT AND “the best student shes ever had” AND ISTG SHES CRUSHING ON HIM OR SMTH???? I WAS SO FUCKING CONFUSED LMAOOO

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : STOPPP HOW OLD IS SHE??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : IDK SHES IN LIKE HER LATE 40s TO MID 50s????

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : maybe she’ll fit kunikida’s 58 requirements for an ideal woman 😍😍😍😍

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : FR

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : BRO I THINK SHES LITERALLY MARRIED THO??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : SHE LIKE HAS A RING ON N SHIT

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : WAIT IS IT SHIO-SENSEI??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : YEAH HER

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : I THINK HER HUSBAND IS ONE OF THE JANITORS

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : FR?

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : FRFR

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : OMFG LMAOOO

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : why does this sound like a sitcom 😭😭

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : OMG IT DOES THO SJGKLJKLDG

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : coming this summer..

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : one professor. one student. one janitor. and a shitload of red flags.

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : PLSSSS

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : LMAOOOOOO

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : i-

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : bro i missed one day wtf

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : ATSUSHI!!

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] : HIIII WELCOME BACK!!! :DD

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : hello!! missed u guys :]

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : u got ur phone back?

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : yup! fukuzawa-sensei gave it back to me because of ranpo

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : thankfully they didnt call our guardian 😭😭

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : we hate him

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : fr

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : i cant wait until kyouka’s 18 so we can leave him

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : (and be adopted me kouyou)

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : i

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : .

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : what

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : :)

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : WHAT.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : kouyou mommy arc

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : STOPPPP

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : im going to kill u

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : love u too bestie 😘

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 🔪

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : @osamudazai WHEN DID YOU GET ADMIN PRIVILEGES AND WHY DID YOU REMOVE MINE?

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : idk why does the algebra professor have a crush on u

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : SHIO-SENSEI DOES NOT HAVE A ‘CRUSH’ ON ME. SHE IS A MARRIED WOMAN AND IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY UNPROFESSIONAL OF HER TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR ONE OF HER STUDENTS. YOU ARE OUT OF LINE DAZAI AND IF THIS CONTINUES ANY LONGER I WILL HAVE TO REPORT YOUR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR. 

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : BRO SHE LITERALLY CALLED U ‘A HANDSOME GENTLEMAN’ AT ONE POINT??

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : LMAO WHAT????

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : FR??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : FR.

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : WAIT

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : DID I MENTION SHE WENT THROUGH MY PHOTOS

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : NO???

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : THAT FEELS ILLEGAL??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : I THINK IT IS

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] :  BUT LIKE

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : THE MOST RECENT ONE WAS OF KUNIKIDA SO SHE JUST LIKE… STARED AT IT AND LICKED HER LIPS

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : EWEWEWEWEW

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : GROSSSSSS

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : 🤮🤮

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : SHES DEFINITELY CRUSHING ON KUNIKIDA…

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : hold up

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : why do u have a picture of kunikida??

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : OMG YEAH??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : i

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Dazai.

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : When did you take a picture of me.

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : LMAO GOTTA GO 

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : I GOT A ROOFTOP WAITING FOR ME 😍😍

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : BYE LOL ✌️

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : DAZAI GET BACK HERE!!

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : @everyone scale of 1-10, how fruity are these mfs?

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : 10

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : 10

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : 10

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : 13

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : 10.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : 22

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : 5000000

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : so we are all in agreement that kunikida + dazai = 🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : yes

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : yup

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : Absolutely.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : omg guys..

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : we should set them up on a date

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : YES

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : YESYESYES IM ALREADY MAKING A GC FOR THIS!!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone WHO WANTS TO HELP?

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : ME

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : ME

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I will gladly assist if it will end this painful pining.

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : ‘painful pining’ LMFAOOO

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : IT ACTUALLY IS PAINFUL THO

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : FR!!

[ @edogawaranpo has created a group chat.]

[ @edogawaranpo added 3 people.]

[ @edogawaranpo renamed chat to ‘operation kunizai’.]

[ @edogawaranpo has given admin privileges to @edogawaranpo .]

[ @edogawaranpo has given admin privileges to @ozakikouyou .]

operation kunizai

[4:52 PM]

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone 

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone 

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone 

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone 

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone 

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone 

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : @everyone 

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : OMG ITS HERE!!

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : KUNIZAI WILL BE REAL WHEN WERE DONE WITH EM

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : TRUTH!!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : OKAY GUYS, WE NEED A PLAN.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : ANY IDEAS??

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : MISTLETOE?

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : WRONG SEASON

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : 7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN?

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : KUNIKIDA WOULD KNOW SOMETHINGS UP BEFORE WE’RE ANYWHERE NEAR THE CLOSET.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : (which is weird cuz he spends a lot of time in there)

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : SPIN THE BOTTLE?

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : Kissing clearly isn’t enough for them given the truth or dare incident. Kunikida would also quickly catch on.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : i feel like we need something more than just touching or kissing

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : we need to make them realize their feelings, not just their attraction

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : ur so right

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : But how do we go about doing that?

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : i have an idea.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : SHARE SHARE SHARE

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : im impatient plz type faster

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : jfc calm down

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : I AM LITERALLY FERAL RN.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : SJHLDFJHDDLFHJLKD HURRY UP

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : STFU

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] :  JEEZ

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : OKAYOKAY

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : we’re doing a classic. someone will invite kunikida to dinner and someone else will invite dazai, but when they both get there, neither of the people who invited them show up. BUT, the bill is on us, so they will feel obligated to stay. BOOM, now they're forced to have a date.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : UR A GENIUS

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : ik tyty😎

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : dont feed his ego its big enough already

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : 🖕🖕🖕🖕

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : whos gonna contact them tho?

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I can speak with Kunikida. It’s unlikely he’d believe anyone else.

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I’ll see if I can convince him to bring flowers too.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : yes.

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : i can try to convince dazai and maybe get him to bring smth

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : honestly he’d just go if i told him the food was on me

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : yeah he wont need much convincing LMAOOO

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : should we message them now?

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : yeah its best if we go ahead and have them meet up tonight

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I will be preparing to adopt Kyouka and Atsushi, so it’s best if I do my part as soon as possible.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : 😀

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] :  we still havent agreed to this

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : but thx ig??

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : It’s no problem. <3

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : okay so can u guys invite them both that nice restaurant near the ramen place at abt 7:25 pm?

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : working on it now!!

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I am buying a bouquet of flowers as we speak.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : GOOD LUCK GUYS!!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : FINALLY..

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : OPERATION KUNIZAI HAS BEGUN.

Class 5A

[4:56 PM]

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : why is dazai on the roof of my dormitory building

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : its a great view up here!!

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : the perfect scenery to my last moments alive 😍

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : he’s just trying to kill himself again dw

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : oh ok

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : wait what

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : again??

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : ew why are u here

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : ive always been here dumbass

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : maybe all ur emo makeup is making u go blind

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : IM NOT FUCKING EMO

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : U WANNA GO AGAIN?

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : BRING IT BITCHBOY

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : guys can u not rn?

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : im sorry kyouka

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : where r u rn?

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : kouyou and higuchi’s dorm

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : can i come over?

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : idk lemme ask them

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : they said you can

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : omw

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : sorry.

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : its okay :)

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Dazai. Get down from the roof you suicidal maniac.

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : hmmm

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : how abt no

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Dazai.

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Don’t make me have to come get you again.

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : fineeeee

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : ill postpone until tomorrow 😔😔

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] : @kyoukaizumi can i come over too? i bought some tofu!!

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : YESYESYES

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : come over now

TofuPlz [@kyoukaizumi] : i need tofu

Cows!!:D [@kenjimiyazawa] :  okay!! :D im heading there now :]

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : why doesnt anyone bring me food :( 

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : I can bring you mac and cheese from the food court if you’d like.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : YES PLS

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : TYTYTYTYTY

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : It’s no problem, Ranpo-kun.

PutThePoeInPoet [@edgarallanpoe] : I can have my foster siblings send some snacks from America for you if you’d like to try them sometime as well.

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : :O YESSS ID LOVE THAT!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : this is why ur my favorite

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : ok damn bitch

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : friendship ended

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : also 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : this is why ur not my favorite

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : hold up

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : @ginakutagawa r u playing the drums?

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : yeah, srry is it too loud?

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : nono i was just curious

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : it sounds rlly good

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : ty :) 

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : i forgot u guys were roomates for a second and i thought yosano had some weird drum sense or smth 😭

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : LMAOOO

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : I WISH

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : LSHGLJSLGJLSK WAIT

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : U PLAY THE DRUMS GIN??

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : yup!

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : OMG WE SHOULD MAKE A BAND

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : OMFG DO U PLAY SMTH??

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : I PLAY GUITAR SOMETIMES BUT LIKE

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : I CAN SING RLLY GOOD

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : I doubt that.

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : JGLSFJHDLKDGH

SweetHomeAlabama [@naomitanizaki] : LMAOOOOO

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : UR SO MEAN TO ME KUNIKIDA-KUN :(((((

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : as he should be

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : HEY

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : :0

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : CHUUYA CAN BE OUR LEAD GUITARIST

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : WAIT WHAT

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] :  I DIDNT KNOW HE PLAYED

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : HE DOES!!

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : OKOK I CAN BE DRUMMER, CHUUYA CAN BE LEAD GUITARIST, AND U CAN BE LEAD SINGER SUB GUITARIST??

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : I DIDNT AGREE TO THIS???

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : too bad <3

StillGrowing [@chuuyanakahara] : ??????

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : WAITWAITWAIT

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : RYUU CAN PLAY BASS

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THE BASSIST LOL

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : @ryuunosukeakutagawa UR OUR BASSIST NOW

GothNotEmo [@ryuunosukeakutagawa] : uhhh???? okay??

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : can i be ur tech?

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : IF UR GOOD AT IT, SURE

Ginger. [@junichirotanizaki] : nice :]

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : i can play piano/keyboard for u guys when u need ig

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : GOT IT

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : WE MEET ON THURSDAYS BITCHES

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : did u guys just make a band out of nowhere??

BetterThanYou [@ginakutagawa] : yes.

WomenAmirite [@ichuyouhiguchi] : understandable have a great day.

@ozakikouyou and @doppokunikida

[4:57 PM]

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I need a favor. Are you available?

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : I am available for the rest of the afternoon. Is everything alright?

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : Yes, I’m everything is fine. I wouldn’t ask this of you regularly, but something urgent has come up and I need all of my attention to be focused on it, which has made me suddenly busy. I apologize for such short-term notice. 

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : Yosano and I were meant to go out to a restaurant together tonight at 7:25, but with me taking care of all of this, I won’t be able to make it. However, we already made reservations and it is extremely difficult to get reservations there. I would hate for the night to be a waste, so I was wondering if you could go instead and give her some flowers and company as an apology from me. I’d hate to leave her all alone.

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Of course I am able to. I’d be more than happy to help, and I’m sure Yosano would appreciate it. 

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : A thousand thank-yous. I am in your debt. I’ll send you the address and the proof of reservation. Can you stop by my dorm to pick up the bouquet?

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : It’s really no problem, Kouyou. I’ll stop by on my way to the restaurant.

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : I’ll be waiting. Make sure to wear your best.

CouncilPresident [@doppokunikida] : Understood.

operation kunizai

[4:59 PM]

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] :  Kunikida has agreed to come.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : LETS GOOOOO

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : ur amazing 😍😍😍

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : ❤️

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : 🌈

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : 🪚🪚

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] :  Have you convinced Dazai yet, Yosano?

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : working on it now 🥲

@osamudazai and @yosanoakiko

[5:00 PM]

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : hey u available tonight at 7:25

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : yea why

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : i cant make it to dinner with kouyou, but its rlly hard to get reservations at this place and i dont want to leave her there alone so i was wondering if u could go keep her company and give her some apology chocolates from me

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : will i be paying

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : no ill handle the bill

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : then ofc yea lol

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : why me tho?

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : ranpo is busy and despite ur chaoticness u know what lines not to cross

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : i trust u not to make her uncomfortable and to do what i ask

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : …

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : thats actually really nice ty

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : no problem :] 

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] :  make sure to dress nice and come get the chocolate b4 u leave k

SuicideEnthusiast [@osamudazai] : gotcha 😎

operation kunizai

[5:04 PM]

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : dazai has agreed to go 👍

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : YESSSSSS

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : AAAAA IM SO EXCITED AND NERVOUS TO SEE IF ITLL GO GOOD!!!!

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : hopefully they will FINALLY realize their feelings 😭😭

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : fingers crossed fr 🤞🤞🤞

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : ill get nathaniel to pray for them 😌⛪⛪🙏✝️

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : JLSKDJGLKDFJGLKDJLKD LMAOOOO

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : also im gonna have dazai bring a box of chocolates

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : omg yes. classic.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : we’re the best matchmakers ever 😎😎

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : agreed 😎

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : our ship shall sail 😎😎😎😎

[7:15 PM]

It was a pleasant evening in Yokohama. The sun had set about an hour prior, so the streets were bathed in the beautiful lights the city provided during the later hours. The streets had only a few people wandering about, which made Kunikida’s walk much more peaceful than he had initially expected. Although, he would prefer to just sit down at this point, as he had adjusted his deep green suit jacket more times than he can count and his dress shoes were not the most comfortable to be walking in. Thankfully, it only took him about 10 minutes to walk from campus to the restaurant, but he was surprised by how early he had arrived. He’d planned to arrive at about 7:20, but a few minutes earlier didn’t hurt, right?

The table he was lead to was beautifully set up with lit candles, a bottle of fancy wine, and shimmering silver cutlery located outside the restaurant with a view of a lower part of the city off to the side. Kunikida sat in one of the two chairs with a pleased smile, as he hadn’t been to such a nice restaurant in a long time, so it was a nice unexpected treat. He poured himself a glass of wine to sip on whilst he waited for Yosano to arrive, but soon found himself distracted by the beautiful bouquet he had been sent with. It was a gorgeous arrangement of blue flowers with a few green plants scattered here and there to break up the constant blue. Curious, Kunkida inspected the small tag attached to the bouquet.

Ishikawa Botany & Floristry

For my daisy, more beautiful than words can describe.

Blue Roses: mystery, attaining the impossible, love at first sight

Blue Daisies: long-term loyalty and trust

Thyme: courage

Kunikida leaned down to—literally—smell the roses when he heard some call his name.

And not just any someone.

“Kunikida-kun~!”

Dazai.

Kunikida sighed and mentally prepared himself to deal with Dazai’s bullshit. However, when he looked up to face said nuisance, his eyes widened and his face lit up in sudden warmth.

Holy fucking shit.

Dazai looked phenomenal. Especially compared to his usual messy, wrinkled clothing, his outfit was astonishing. He was dressed in a smooth black turtleneck and a matching set containing a maroon suit jacket and dress pants, along with a few pieces of golden jewelry including a necklace, a black-jeweled ring, a dangling earring, and a pair of cufflinks. To add onto to it all, Dazai’s hair was cleaned up and brushed to one side and Kunikida swore he could see a bit of eyeshadow decorating his upper lids. 

Kunikida felt as though he couldn’t breathe.

Dazai, in contrast, seemed mostly unaffected as he took a seat opposite of Kunikida. “What are you doing at a place like this?” He asked, haphazardly pouring himself a glass of wine. 

Kunikida forced himself to snap back into reality and breathe. He grabbed the bottle away from Dazai and filled the rest of the glass before Dazai could manage to stain the tablecloth any more than he already had. “Kouyou asked me to come and inform Yosano that while she could not make it to their dinner, she still wanted her to enjoy the night.” Kunikida grumbled, setting the bottle aside.

Dazai’s eyebrows lifted in soft surprise. “What a coincidence! Yosano asked me to do the same thing for Kouyou.” He chirped, sipping from his glass of wine with energy Kunikida lacked.

Kunikida’s heart sank. So Dazai was actually supposed to be at this table? With him?

He rose from his chair with the bouquet in hand. “I suppose if Yosano will not be coming, I should take my leave and get back to studying-”

Dazai caught his wrist as he began to walk off. “Wait!” He called, causing Kunikida to stop in his tracks. “They went to all this trouble to get a reservation, and you went to all the trouble to get dressed up… whats the point in leaving if someone else is paying anyways?” Dazai asked, looking up a Kunikdia with something akin to hope in his eyes.

Kunikida found himself unable to decline.

“Fine. I guess you have a point.” Kunikida acquiesced with a sigh. “I’ll stay, but only because Yosano and Kouyou would not want this to go to waste.” 

Dazai grinned and began rambling off about whatever seemed interesting to him at the time before Kunikida could even sit down.

He was in for a long night.

[9:14 PM]

After a wonderful meal, a bottle of far-too-expensive wine, and various conversations, their dinner was coming to a close. Kunikida had managed to loosen up quite a bit more than he had expected he would, and he found himself smiling and laughing more in one night than he had in the past month. Dazai’s company was pleasant and Kunikida was surprised by a warm, homey feeling in his chest.

However, Dazai had quieted down some as the night grew older. When he did speak, it was in a rather hushed tone. “..Kunikida, did you mean what you said in the groupchat?” He asked.

Kunikida raised an eyebrow. “I’ve said quite a few things in the groupchat, Dazai. You’ll have to be more specific.”

Dazai sighed. “About our kiss meaning nothing to you?”

Kunikida’s eyes widened and his heart ached. “I…” He paused. “I may not have been entirely truthful.” Dazai peered suspiciously at Kunikida as he paused again. “I enjoyed it, if that is what you’re asking.”

Dazai’s apprehensive manner shifted in only a few short seconds. His elbows rested on the table as he leaned forward towards Kunikida. “Would you like to do it again?” He whispered, eyes glinting with mischief—or was that attraction?

Kunikida’s heart answered before his mind could process what was happening. “Absolutely.”

The two leaned towards each other and connected for a soft, careful kiss. Then another. Then another. By the time they had fully pulled apart, Kunikida noticed Dazai’s lips were kiss-swollen and pink. His chest swelled with admiration.

Dazai held an item out to Kunikida before the both of them had a chance to compose themselves. “Here. I was supposed to give this to Kouyou, but I don’t think Yosano will mind if you have it.” The item in question was red, heart-shaped box with a blue ribbon tied in a bow around it. Kunikida recognized it as a classic chocolate box. He couldn’t, nor did he really want to, contain his smile.

“Thank you.” Kunikida said as he accepted the box and stood. “We should both be heading back to campus. It is getting late and we both have class tomorrow.”

Dazai looked disappointed, but stood regardless with a sigh. “Always the killjoy..” He mumbled.

Kunikida scoffed and held out the bouquet for Dazai. “Someone has to follow the rules for the both of us.”

Dazai gently took the bouquet and sniffed the flowers. “The both of us? You’re making it sound like we’re a couple, Kunikida-kun.”

“We could try to be one, if you’d like.” Kunikida replied, holding his arm out to Dazai.

Dazai’s eyes widened in surprise, but his expression soon shifted to one of content. “I’d love that.” He said, linking arms with Kunikida as they began their journey back to campus.

Dazai returned to his dorm with a bouquet in his arms, a soft smile, and a flower tucked behind his ear.

operation kunizai

[9:39 PM]

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : OMG OMG OMG

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : DAZAI JUST GOT BACK TO THE DORMS A HE HAD THW FLOWERS

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : HE WSS SMILNG AND SHIT AND HE HAD ONW OF THE FLOWERS BEHIND HIS EAR

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : OSNGLDHJLDH OMFGGGG

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : THE SHIP HAS SAILED HOLY SHITWJ

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : FINALLYYYYY

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : TOOK THEM LONG ENOUGH LMAO

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : SHOULD WE TELL THE OTHERS?

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : No. Their relationship has just begun, it’s best if we don’t put strain on it by telling everyone before they’re ready to know.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : ok, makes sense!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : im just glad the plan worked B)

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : yess, they both deserve a nice relationship

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : fr, maybe theyll balance each other out

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : omg ur so right. kunikida’s sternness + dazai’s chaos = ✨perfection✨

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : EXACTLY!

LiteralGoddess [@ozakikouyou] : Alright, that’s enough. It’s getting pretty late and you all need to wake up for classes tomorrow, so I think you should all head to bed now.

NotAFurry [@nakajimaatsushi] : yes maam!!

DrGirlboss [@yosanoakiko] : goodnight everyone, great work!!!

SnacksAndCrime [@edogawaranpo] : night!!