Chapter Text
I’m Lying: A ‘Memoir’ review DRAFT.dox
Last edited 5 minutes ago
Word count 54
I hate this book. I hate this book so much, and I don’t hate anything. I hate you for writing this book, and I hate myself for reading it, and I hate the 2.99 you gave me, and I hate that I need to know your real name, and your real friends, and
Kevin Day @kevinday✔
Always fun to meet my fans!
[picture]
[The picture is of Kevin, who is smiling, and a blond man with hazel eyes, who is not. In the background are the nondescript surroundings of the inside of a coffee shop. There is another man at the table just out of view. He has red hair, and the photo shows that he is grinning into his palm, though few other details about him are seen.]
go wildcats! @tstandsfortroy
is that @n.skanky in the background?
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
guilty as charged
Quote Retweet
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
And, again, they did not include my name #tlcowards
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
I’m starting to think that TLC just fucking hates me
[screenshot]
[The screenshot is of another cropped TLC headline that reads “Hidden Romance?! International Sensation and Soccer Star Kevin Day Caught on Date With NYC Bestselling Author!”]
Kevin Day @kevinday✔
ok im starting to see it now #tlcowards
soccer i hardly know her @footballfruit
i was today years old when i discovered that @n.skanky and @kevinday✔ knew each other irl
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
i really dont know how you didnt know weve both been pretty open about being friends
soccer i hardly know her @footballfruit
does he give you free tickets to his games?
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
No
soccer i hardly know her @footballfruit
wtf why???
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
because i hate soccer
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
I think I should use this opportunity to peer pressure @kevinday✔ into reading my book
i fucking hate yams @jessienjames
he hasn’t read it?? why???
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
because he hates me
Kevin Day @kevinday✔
Can the #skanknation stop asking me to read @n.skanky’s book???
Kevin Day @kevinday✔
I’m not going to do it
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
relationship fucking over
Kevin Day @kevinday✔
This is why people think we’re dating
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
way to blame the victim
Kevin Day @kevinday✔
how are you a victim
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
they think im dating YOU
family chat!!!!!
homosexual support cast: waht
homosexual support cast: [image]
The image is taken from Kevin Day’s twitter. It is the image of Kevin with his blond and unamused fan.
homosexual support cast: aaron is this you????
homosexual support cast: did you get an autograph from the hot man for your favoritest cousin????
kaoru: no
homosexual support cast: you didnt???
kaoru: no as in thats not me
kaoru: nicky change my name
homosexual support cast: why :’(
homosexual support cast: it fits you so well!!!
kaoru: im not into that weeb shit
hikaru: yeah actually fuck this
hikaru: pick a better twin reference
homosexual support cast: andrew, if this isn’t you i think we have a triplet to track down
hikaru: thats not necessary
homosexual support cast: as in you don’t want to meet him or……
hikaru: as in we don’t have a triplet
homosexual support cast: oh! okay!
homosexual support cast: did YOU get an autograph from the hot man for your favoritest cousin?????
hikaru: no
kaoru: i thought you hated all sports
hikaru: i do
kaoru: so why did you take a photo
hikaru: im full of whimsy
hikaru: nicky change our names
homosexual support cast: why should i
hikaru: because i will not stay whimsical for long
homosexual support cast: fine
and also kevin is here
kevin: jean you can start using this chat again me and neil made up
french man: oh thank god
french man: did you finally read his book?
kevin: god you too?
french man: what do you mean?
kevin: neils skank nation is peer pressuring me on twitter
french man: his WHAT
gotta go fast: my beautiful skanknation
gotta go fast: someone on tumblr made a flag for it too
gotta go fast: [image]
The image is a flag with orange stripes that gradually turn red at the final stripe. There is a free for use flame decal on the bottom. In the center, in a free for use flame font, is the word “SKANK” in all caps.
gotta go fast: one day this flag will fly on the moon
french man: oh thats what your profile picture on pintrest is
kevin: you have a pintrest? and no other social media???
french man: yes, kevin. and one day i will have the wedding of a god
kevin: but to answer your question no. i have not read neils book
french man: you should its really good
gotta go fast: omg thats so nice
gotta go fast: but no it really isnt
french man: well it wasnt terrible
kevin: with a review like that how could i not
kevin: neil can you give me a copy
gotta go fast: no
kevin: wtf why???
gotta go fast: because i hate you
kevin: we made up!!
gotta go fast: yeah
gotta go fast: now im at my usual level of hatred
kevin: whatever
french man: i think i can share my kindle copy
gotta go fast: i also have it up on youtube
kevin: i dont want to listen to you whisper that long
kevin: i heard enough of it in the nest
french man: stop your whining
french man: you weren’t even roommates with him
and also kevin is here
french man has created a new channel # kevin’s book club
french man: i cannot send kevin my kindle copy
gotta go fast: uuuuughghghghhhh
gotta go fast: fine. kevin, i will get you a copy
kevin: i’d say im honored but im not
gotta go fast: check your email
french man: wait so kevin DOESNT have to buy his?
french man: favoritism much???
gotta go fast: he’ll pay some way else
french man: okay. no longer pissed
kevin: pay how
gotta go fast: [wink emoji]
kevin: neil
kevin: neil!!!
and also kevin is here
#kevin’s book club
kevin: neil i hate you so fucking much
french man: what did he do??
kevin: scientology
french man: he what
kevin: scientology
gotta go fast: aww kevin are you being saved?
kevin: fuck you
french man: escape one cult just to immediately slide into another
french man: what a man, kevin day
gotta go fast changed the group name to cult member premium
gotta go fast: what OT level are you on?
kevin: you know what you know what you know what.
kevin: fine
kevin has changed his name to ted cruz
ted cruz: i have been saved
ted cruz: fuck you neil
ted cruz: i am the holiest man in the scientology empire
gotta go fast: guys do you think if i asked my uncle he’d be able to find shelly
ted cruz: you wouldnt need to because she is totally fine actually
french man: wow
french man: kevin i have to say
french man: scientology hasnt changed you at all
ted cruz: i fucking hate you both
gotta go fast: guys im serious should i call stuart y/y
french man: NO
ted cruz: NO
Jean_M’s most recently edited Pinterest boards
godly wedding 647 pins
kitty cat!!! 103 pins
kevin day getting hit in the face with a ball 68 pins
american french mistakes 781 pins collaborative with N.J10
the beast @goingoblinmode
hey @monsterreviews are we ever getting that review of @n.skany’s book?
stop writing poetry @monsterreviews
the more you ask the less likely i am to post it
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
does that mean it’s done [side eye emoji]
stop writing poetry @monsterreviews
wouldn’t you like to know
I’m Lying: A ‘Memoir’ review DRAFT.dox
Last edited 30 seconds ago
Word count 684
I don’t know how to review this book. I don’t know how to. I’ve made an entire career based on hiding myself, based on the sarcasm and cynicism that I built up around myself to survive. Most of the time, that’s all I am. I’m an asshole. It’s not a bit that I do; I don’t answer texts from the only family I’ve ever had, I ignore the homework my therapist gives me because it might make me feel better, and the only friend I’ve made in the past four years is a woman I met at a self-defense class, and I see her once a month while we try to beat each other up. Whatever hate comments you have seen pinned in my comment section, about how hateful I am, about how joyless I am, are not pinned because I find them funny. It is a warning. I am shooting a gun into the air, I am making sure you know exactly who I am and what I’m doing. My therapist says I’m setting boundaries; I just think I’m being honest. I am destructive. I am joyless. I have a bad thing to say about almost everything and I do not care enough about anything to keep my opinion to myself. I don’t even care enough to hate the things I criticize; it’s just a way to pass the time.
I don’t have anything bad to say about this book. I don’t have anything bad to say about this author. The only real gripe I have with this book is that it wasn’t published sooner, only because it means that I wasn’t able to read it sooner. I think that if I was any younger, any more vulnerable than I am now, a book like this would have changed my life. This book has become a friend where I have none. I have read it once a week since it came out.
I am not going to give you a dissection of my childhood. As honest as I’m being right now, I don’t think that I can tell anyone about what happened to me. About what I did. I don’t think this draft will make it past the editing phase. I think I’ll delete it like all the rest of the half baked garbage I’ve written about this book. I cannot bring myself to tell anyone, I cannot bring myself to create anything genuine, anything that isn’t soaked in layers of dispassion and criticism. This is not because I am a liar–I have been told by counselors, my brother, and every one night stand I’ve ever had that I am brutal in my bluntness–but because I am not honest. The only person who could even come close to claiming they know me, is my thirteenth court mandated therapist.
So here is a rare moment of honesty, even just for myself. I hate this book so much. I hate the way the prose was so engaging that I read it in one sitting. I hate the way it made me feel. I hate the way that I saw myself so distinctly in the pages, and yet knew intrinsically that the author was so different from me. I hate the way the author manages to never tell the truth in any interview, in any fan engagement, in any real way. I hate the way I don’t know this author’s name. I hate the fact that I have a folder in my photos that’s dedicated to twitter takedowns by this author. I hate the fact that I took a selfie with Kevin Day just for a chance to be closer to him.
I hate the fact that, even though I read his book, even though I scour the internet just for a chance to see his face, to learn even one real and tangible fact about him, I will never know him.I can’t because I am just somebody on the internet whose entire career is making fun of his profession.
I gave I’m Lying: A “Memoir" by N.Wetskanky five stars.
on hiatus @monsterreviews
After careful consideration, and then a firm reminder from my reflection that I can do whatever I want, I have decided to go on hiatus. Do not bother me about why or when I am coming back. I will not answer.
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
wow was my book really that bad?
family chat!!!!
C3P0: andrew why did you announce a hiatus??
C3P0: is everything ok?????
luke: andrew’s on hiatus?
luke: wait is andrew leia
luke: why is andrew leia and not me
luke: out of the two of us i am more suited to government work
C3P0: this is because andrew is more likely of the two of you to be the huttslayer
leia: i am more likely to kill jabba
luke: i still don’t like it
leia: cry about it
C3P0: andrew why are you going on hiatus???
leia: i do what i want
luke: how are you going to pay rent this month wiseass
leia: dont worry about it
leia: im mr moneybags
C3P0: yet another win for the andrew as leia community
luke: what the fuck does that mean
leia: as long as i pay it who fucking cares
leia: am i not allowed to take a break
leia: do you want an itemized list of my bathroom trips too
luke: wow someone is testy
C3P0: lolololololll you said testie
luke: i fucking hate this family
skanknation president @sallymaykemyday
anyone notice the beef between @monsterreviews and @n.skanky
skanknation president @sallymaykemyday
I mean literally every time they’ve interacted with each other has been @monsterreviews antagonizing @n.skanky
skanknation president @sallymaykemyday
Like I understand reviewers needing their own spaces to review and public personas but this guy is sort of being an asshole
skanknation president @sallymaykemyday
And then he promises a rant review and goes on hiatus??? This guy fucking sucks
skanknation president @sallymaykemyday
Also note how even though @monsterreviews has been basically bullying Wetskanky on every one of his posts, he doesn’t actually respond when @n.skanky called him out. Wtf???? #monsterreviewbeef
beanie baby maybe @cinabonsinzzz02
After the illustrious @salliemaykemyday pointed it out, i couldn’t get #monsterreviewbeef out of my head, so here is a masterlist of screenshots of @monsterreviews antagonizing @n.skanky. Feel free to add your own!!!(thread spool emoji)
[screenshot][screenshot] [screenshot]
skanknation president @sallymaykemyday
how awful it is to be proven correct lol
bts before bros before hoes @juncooked
i dont read and i dont watch reviews and i ESPECIALLY dont do vtubers but literally what is wrong with this guy #monsterreviewbeef
soupy cat from outerspace @thefutureishere320
there were so many opportunities to NOT be a dick wtf #monsterreviewbeef
can you believe it? @deepdiverdan
Watch my newest video unpacking the AUTHOR v REVIEWER BEEF taking the internet by storm #monsterreviewbeef
https://youtube.com/watch?/AUTHOR v REVIEWER BEEF!!!! [gone wrong]/03587941079
[The thumbnail is of a white man, presumably deep diver Dan, making a face of exaggerated surprise and shock. The background is of the screenshots of the “beef” between the two. There is a mind explosion emoji in the top corner.]
Dan Wilds @wildswildbooks
I’ve been asked all sorts of times about my opinion about #monsterreviewbeef. Usually I try to stay out of any sort of drama in the book community, but for my buddy @n.skanky…….let’s just say there’s a reason no one ever collabs with him [side eye emoji]
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
is it because he doesn’t do collabs ever? it says so on his channel page
[screenshot of said channel page]
Dan Wilds @wildswildbooks
That is part of it, yeah. I once tried to reach out to him about doing a review, and he said (and I quote) “I don’t do collabs. Do not assume your popularity means you’re an exception.” and nothing else #monsterreviewbeef
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
Gee I can’t possibly imagine why he was so rude when you contacted him about breaking a boundary he made pretty clear
Private Twitter messages
Dan Wilds
I think it’s clear that we have a problem
Wetskanky was his real name
i don’t have a problem with you
Dan Wilds
Your public twitter beef with me claims otherwise
Wetskanky was his real name
sorry
Dan Wilds
Don’t apologize. I didn’t contact you privately to scold you. I want to work through this in a place that isn’t public.
Wetskanky was his real name
oh
ok
Dan Wilds
So. What exactly is the problem with what I said? Why did it make you lash out?
Wetskanky was his real name
i wasnt lashing out
Dan Wilds
Then what would you call your public callout
Wetskanky was his real name
monsterreviews isn’t a bad guy and i dont know why people are making him out to be
Dan Wilds
He is pretty rude
Wetskanky was his real name
so am i. so why is everyone on my side.
everyone is treating me like a hero for this when i ‘harassed’ him as much as he did me
don’t i get a say about whether or not this guy is harassing me?
Dan Wilds
No you’re right.
I’m sorry.
I let my own opinion and interactions with him cloud my judgement.
I shouldn’t have made a public statement on a situation I have no part of.
I’ll make an apology
Wetskanky was his real name
thank you
Dan Wilds
Can I make a suggestion to you?
Wetskanky was his real name
i guess
Dan Wilds
If you really feel this way you should make a public statement about it
Wetskanky was his real name
do you really think that would help?
Dan Wilds
I do
Much more than lashing out at me
Wetskanky was his real name
i wasn’t lashing out
and i’m not apologizing
Dan Wilds
I should’ve guessed that
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
just letting you guys know, btw, etc that @monsterreviews was not and never has harassed me. i was an aggressor far more often than he was, so if we cancel him we must cancel me too. in the war between me and @monsterreviews, i am not on the #skanknation side
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
as a matter of fact, if you stand against @monsterreviews you stand against the #skanknation
Excerpt From I’m Lying: A ‘Memoir’ Bookmarked on Andrew Minyard’s Kindle
“I had a court mandated therapist. Of course I did. While I was testifying there was a woman on the jury who fainted. She actually tizzy-couch fainted. At that point I was seventeen, and I had all my scars. Honestly I don’t know what anyone expected.
I waltzed into that therapist's room with a chip on my shoulder and a haughty confidence. I was certain that I knew better; I was a unique case, and this made me confident that any therapist would fail me. My suffering was special, my feelings were special. My childhood wasn’t that bad, and I heard my father’s laugh like a live-studio audience. I was managing. I was falling apart. I knew myself better than anyone, because I didn’t want anyone to know me. What could a therapist possibly offer me?
So the C-PTSD diagnosis came out of left field. Here was this thing, this label, that explained so much of what I thought was my own burden. I loved and hated it in equal measure. I wasn’t crazy; I was always going to be crazy. My therapist said I was an ‘abuse survivor.’ The earliest moment of abuse I can remember was before I was four. I never stood a chance.”
Andrew Minyard Note
“I am unique, but my suffering is ordinary. I was always going to be crazy. We never stood a chance.”
Excerpt from I’m Lying: A ‘Memoir’ highlighted on Andrew Minyard’s Kindle
“My deepest regret is that I learned to speak French of my own volition. In my defense, I was an impressionable child living in France. My second deepest shame was the fact that I orchestrated the events that led to a mob hit on my best friend’s adopted brother, and I didn’t tell anyone. That motherfucker deserved to die, but my friend deserved to know.”
Andrew Minyard Note
“LOL same”
Private Message 12:36 pm
Nicky
Has he said anything to you? About the social media thing?
Aaron
Oh you mean the insane and unique amount of hatred he’s receiving for his insane and unique obsession with an author?
No.
It’s like you don’t know him at all.
Nicky
I’m just worried
Aaron
I’m not
Nicky
Aaron!
Do you think its a coincidence that he just *happened* to go on hiatus *right before* a hate campaign against him????
It’s all boiling over!!!
Aaron
Of course I don’t! I’m not fucking stupid
But if he wants us to stay out of it there’s nothing we can do
And honestly?
He kind of deserves it
Nicky
AARON!
Aaron
I mean…I don’t think he should be cyberbullied but his parasocial thing for that guy is bordering on concerning
He watched a full 8 hour video of this dude whispering
Twice
This might be like a… reality check. A really harsh reality check.
Nicky
I guess????
I’m just worried about him!!!!
He’s never taken a hiatus b4
Aaron
Yeah well
He had to snap eventually
Messages Nicky Drafted and Deleted
Hey Andrew I just want to let you know…..
Andrew~we’re always here for you…..
I wish you would just call me…..
I wish I could be there….
We could go to the club….
I wish….
Private Messages 8:44pm
Nicky
Checking in! Aaron says you’ve been rotting in your room! I just want proof of life
Andrew
[thumbs up emoji]
Quote retweet
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
I only came out on top because I have a weird book no one likes. I am not about to publicly advocate for the bullying of a book reviewer as a published author. I was not offended, and he was not out of bounds. You have been exiled from the #skanknation #reviewsareforreaders
sebscreams @jasonsebastian
Anyone else find it weird that @n.skanky is defending @monsterreviews tooth and nail? I mean, he already came out on top. He may as well just take the W
Quote Retweet
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
I guarantee that I’ve faced harsher criticism than @monsterreviews. In fact, and this is something that very few people know, my father was an abusive, cannibalistic serial killer. I am certain that I know and understand what abuse is, and how to deal with it. Thank you for your defense! You have been exiled from the #skanknation [side eye emoji]
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathan_Wesenski#Crimes
[The link leads to a wikipedia article for Nathan Wesenski, specifically under the tab of the crimes that he was charged with]
a beautiful life @happybookwife28
We can’t be mad at @n.skanky regarding the #monsterreviewbeef. As an online abuse survivor myself, sometimes we faun over our abusers. What @monsterreviews has done is horrible and harsh. @n.skanky is a survivor, and any criticism of his response to the Monster is tone policing
Quote retweet
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
yeah… what? #monsterreviewbeef
[reaction image of Nathan Wesenski’s mugshots, except the user has put a plethora of pink bows, sparkles, and Hello Kitty characters to decorate them.]
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @highskyover
uhmmmm…. What??? #monsterreviewbeef
[Screenshot of the twitter search page. The search was for #monsterreviewbeef. All of the posts made were from one account, and all of the posts contained various thirst traps, Patrick Bateman crossovers, and highly edited pictures of the serial killer Nathan Wesenski.]
Private Messages
Dan Wilds
Dude I told you to make a public statement not start a reverse smear-campaign
Wetskanky was his real name
I refuse to be a bother to this random reviewer any more
Besides. I thought he was funny
Dan Wilds
Jesus Christ
on hiatus under fire @monsterreviews
@n.skanky i don’t need you to fight my battles for me
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
I don’t care.
on hiatus under fire @monsterreviews
well fucking stop
Wetskanky was his real name @n.skanky
you don’t control me
Private Messages
on hiatus under fire
What the fuck is your actual problem
Wetskanky was his real name
I could ask you the same question
Private Messages 3:40pm
Nicky
Andrew! Just checking in!
Private Messages 4:21pm
Nicky
Andrew?
Private Messages 5:38pm
Nicky
Is Andrew OK?????? Like is he ALIVE????
Aaron
?
Yea he’s fine?
He’s been rotting in the living room all day today
Nicky
I texted him like two hours ago asking for a checkup and he didn’t respond
Aaron
He’s def just ignoring you
He’s been typing on his phone all day so he definitely saw your text
Nicky
I swear that boy….
Andrew’s Recent screentime
Your screentime went up 65% this past week
[Breakdown for today]
Twitter: 5hrs 20min
Spodify: 30min
Safari: 25min
Subway Surfers: 12min
Private Messages
Wetskanky was his real name
Well… goodnight I guess
on hiatus under attack
whatever [middle finger emoji]