Chapter Text
All Steven could think about was how the gems would see him. Their sweet angel Universe, shattering a diamond. His mind clouded with thoughts of how they would react, numbing his senses.
“Steven! What have you done?!”
“Steven!”
“Steven!!”
“Steven!!”
He was pulled back to reality and out of his wrecked mind by a voice and a comforting touch. Sometimes that's all you need. He blinked a few times, processing the sight before him. Garnet.. Amethyst.. Pearl. His sole caretakers. His family. How could he ever tell them-
“What happened?!”
Amethyst yelled as she stepped closer. Pearl added
“Are you alright?!”
He fumbled to think of an answer. Something, anything to throw them off his path. He could never tell them. He could never tell anyone what he did. Not Greg, not Connie, not Lars or any of the Crystal Gems. This would be his secret. He would be just like his mother. A liar.
“I’m fine-”
Steven managed to get out, fidgeting with the shards in his jacket.
“Going to see the Diamonds was a waste of time. I thought I needed to figure myself out-”
Garnet spoke up.
“Steven, you’re glowing again.”
He looked down at his hands, the hands that he could barely recognize anymore. They were calloused and torn from his fight with Jasper. The thought of her made his stomach churn.
“You know you can tell us anything, little man”
Amethyst stated, noticing his retreat back into his mind.
“We’ll always be here for you, no matter what happens.”
Pearl said and gripped Steven’s arm. Garnet spoke,
“You don’t need to hide anything from us.”
That was the last straw. Steven yanked his arm away, fury rising in his chest.
“Why do you guys always pretend everything is ok?! Sure nothing can make you hate me until I-”
Steven stopped. He felt the shards in his pocket prick against his hands, the cool crystal making his blood run cold. He must have looked uncomfortable because Amethyst started to talk again.
“Dude, what’s wrong? You’ve been all secretive since you got back from Homeworld-”
Pearl’s voice was weak, she sounded like just saying a sentence would crack her gem in half. Steven had to shake off the jitters he got from thinking about that.
“Are you- ..lying to us, Steven?”
The look on her face, Steven was sure would make his heart stop. That was the face she pulled back when she found out about Lion. About how Rose was keeping secrets even Pearl didn’t know. And it hurt her. But Steven was a terrible liar. Even when he tried the best he could, he couldn’t lie. But he refused to tell the truth too.
“No, no, lying? Me? Pearl, be serious-”
He looked away from the gems and managed a weak laugh. Amethyst shot up.
“You are lying! Right to our faces!”
Shit. He had a feeling his blatant lie wouldn’t work, but he didn’t want to think about that. Ok, plan B.
“I’m not lying- I-”
Garnet laid a hand on his knee. Then, with a swipe of her hand, she took her glasses off. All three of her eyes focused on him. Steven could practically swear he could see Ruby and Sapphire standing there in front of him.
“Steven, you don’t have to lie. We love you and will support you, no matter what happens. We understand how you feel-”
Steven practically snapped back, leaning his body as far away from Garnet as he could muster.
“No. No, you don’t!!”
He yelled loud enough that the cracks in Beach City could open up again. If the windows weren’t already shattered from before, they surely would be now.
“You don’t understand what she did to me! She- she tore my body apart! She hurt the entire universe for fucks sake! If anything, she got what she deserved-!”
He was holding the shards so tight now that they were cutting into his palms. The gems all looked distraught. Then he realized. He said her. They know now. They know something is wrong. Steven stood up from his bed. He needed to get out of here. In his hurry, his jacket slipped from his arm and sunk to the floor. The shards clattered out of his pocket, spreading themselves across the floor. Everyone gasped aloud.
“Steven, are-”
Garnet tried to speak, but Pearl finished her sentence for her.
“Are those gem shards-”
Their voices were shaken, all three gems with hands over their mouths. Steven quickly crouched down to hide the evidence, but a hand pulled on the back of his shirt.
“What are you doing-?”
Garnet muttered, setting Steven with his back to the bed. Pearl leaned down, looking closer at the mess on the floor.
“No- no no get away!!”
Steven struggled, but his intentions were met with a steel grip. Pearl practically flung herself backwards, beginning to stutter
“W-white-”
Amethyst kneeled next to Pearl, setting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“What is it, P?!”
Pearl’s hands flew to her mouth, tears beginning to well in her eyes.
“White Diamond-”