Chapter Text
Ang 'yong bisig
Ang sandalan
'Pag nangangawit na'ng walang hintong isipan
Ang 'yong tinig
Ang takbuhan
Kapag walang ibang gustong mapakinggan
Mawawala na ata sa wisyo si Win sa sobrang kaba niya. Kanina pa yata siyang pinagpapawisan ng malamig pero hindi niya pwedeng ipakita yon. He tried to remain completely calm on the outside but internally, his mind was going a thousand miles a minute. 12 times niya na ata nacheck if he had all the things he needed for tonight. Buong dinner set-up? Catering na mag-aayos non. The fairy lights? Naimpake niya na yon, ikakabit na lang nila ni Kana. The photos? Isasabit na lang rin. Yung lanterns? Nabili na ni Gun. Ano pa bang kailangan niya? Ah si Bright…
Teka! Si Bright!
“Dew, parang awa na sunduin niyo na si Bright. Hindi ako makakilos kasi andito pa siya. Ang dami ko pang gagawin! Paki-bilisan please!” Bulong ni Win sa telepono nang sagutin ni Dew ang tawag niya. Tumawa lang ang kausap niya at nangako na malapit na sila para sunduin si Bright. Sinabihan pa siya nito na kailangan niyang kumalma. Iyon rin ang paulit-ulit na paalala sa kanya nila Kana pero hindi niya naman alam kung paano kumalma ngayong araw na ‘to!
Sakto namang pagkababa nung tawag ay bumalik si Bright sa kwarto nila at niyapos ang boyfriend niya. Win instantly melted into his arms. “Bukod sa pagmamahal ko, ano pang kailangan mo mamayang gabi?”
Win made a face at his boyfriend pero niyakap niya parin naman ito. “Kinikilabutan ako sayo, Bright. Magtigil ka.”
Binigyan lang siya ni Bright ng mapangasar na ngiti. “Kinikilabutan sa kilig?”
Mabilis na kinurot ni Win ang tagiliran ng boyfriend niya na agad naman napaliyad sa sakit.
“Aray, soulmate!”
“Isa pa!”
“Hindi na! Hindi na!”
Gigil namang lumipat ang kurot ni Win sa pisngi ng mahal niya na nakabusangot na ngayon. “Kulit mo ah, kung di lang talaga kita mahal eh.”
“Buti na lang mahal mo ko.” Bright cheekily said.
Napabuntong hininga si Win habang tinitignan ang boyfriend niya, inayos pa nito ang buhok na nakaharang sa mata nito. “Lakas ata ng gayumang ginamit mo sakin nung college eh.”
“Aba! Ako nga yata ang nagayuma mo eh? Di ko alam ba’t ako nainlove sayo eh di ka naman naliligo?”
“Hoy! Tuwing may bagyo lang naman, soulmate!”
“Sinungaling. Kahapon lang di ka naligo eh.”
“Umulan kahapon!” Win pouted.
“Hay nako, sige na dahil birthday mo mamaya pagbibigyan kita.”
Win grinned at his boyfriend and tightened his arms around him. Binalik naman ni Bright ang ngiti ni Win at binigyan pa ng sniff kiss ang pisngi nito. “Advanced happy birthday, soulmate. Mahal na mahal kita.”
Win sighed in contentment as he ran his fingers through the short hair on Bright’s nape, his lover’s face still tucked into his cheek. Win could feel the tip of Bright’s nose gently nuzzling it. The nervousness in the pit of his stomach temporarily stalling as it was replaced by the warmth Bright always made him feel. For the first time that day, he let himself lean into Bright; letting the stress he’d been carrying all day fall away even for just that moment. “Thank you, soulmate. I love you more.”
For a few moments, Bright and Win stayed in that position. They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, swaying slightly to music that no one else could hear but them. They stayed in their own little world and Win let himself stay right there and enjoy that moment before the chaos of the rest of the day swept him away again. He relished in the strength Bright’s arms provided and decided that this is exactly what he needed to get through the rest of his plans for that day.
“Sigurado ka ba na gusto mo sumama ako kela Dew? Pwede naman kita tulungan na lang maghanda para sa birthday salubong mo. Di ko nga alam ba’t gusto ako isama nila Dew dun eh mag-furniture shopping lang naman siya para sa condo nila ni Tu?”
“Sumama ka na, soulmate. Naka-oo ka na chaka magb-bonding rin kami nila Kana. Wag ka na makisali.” Pilit ni Win.
“Pero gusto ko dito sayo, soulmate.” Pagmaktol ni Bright, may kasama pa itong pout.
Di napigilan ni Win na humalik na lang sa nakangusong labi ng boyfriend niyang walang kasing cute sa mga mata niya. Binitawan niya na rin ito dahil baka panggigilan niya pa lalo. “Mamaya babalik ka rin naman sakin. Sumama ka na.” Konting tiis lang, soulmate. Mamaya akin ka na forever.
Sumimangot na lang si Bright pero pumayag rin. “Hay! Sige na nga, basta tawagan mo ko pag kailangan mo ko ah.”
-
Win rubbed his palms together as he took a long appreciative look at his hard work. The fairy lights laid out on the grass twinkled in the darkness of the night. Candle lit lanterns were also placed on the ground in a straight line that led to a medium-sized tipi where various photos of Bright and Win through the years were hung on nylon strings. The tipi also housed a blanket laid out on the ground containing a simple dinner, an expensive bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and a few pillows stacked aesthetically on the ground.
Napalunok si Win dahil pakiramdam niya ay masusuka na siya sa kaba. Nanlalamig na rin ang mga palad niya at ipinilit niya na lang ipasok ito sa bulsa niya para maibsan ang panginginig nito kaso pati ata ang tuhod niya ay nanlalambot na. Huminga siya ng malalim at pumpwesto na.
Ready na ang lahat. Si Bright na lang ang kulang and as if right on cue, rinig niya mula sa di kalayuan ang pagmamaktol ng boyfriend niya.
“San na ba kasi si Win? Malapit na mag-midnight! Sinasabi ko sayo, Dew, sasamain ka talaga sakin pag di ko siya na-greet ng saktong midnight!”
“Bright” And there he was, the love of his life, walking towards him. Win heavily swallowed as he felt like the wind had just gotten knocked out of his chest. He stared at the gorgeous man dressed to the nines, just like he was, standing just a few feet away from him.
“Soulmate!” Despite his nerves, hindi napigilan ni Win na ngumiti pabalik kay Bright nang makitang lumiwanag ang mukha nito nang masilayan siya.
“Hala! Ano ‘to?” Manghang tinignan ni Bright ang kumikinang na set-up sa likuran ni Win. Parang mas lalo tuloy bumilis ang tibok ng puso ni Win nang panoorin niya si Bright na tuwang-tuwang tinitignan ang hinanda niya.
Bright’s perfect features were accentuated by the twinkling lights, his doe eyes danced over the scenery surrounding him and a soft smile tainted his perfectly shaped lips. If he hadn’t loved him so much already, this would have been the exact moment he would have fallen deeply. Win was absolutely mesmerized and captivated by the beauty of the man he loved with all his heart. He was terrified but suddenly, he never felt more sure.
Win held his hand out to Bright. “Tara, soulmate?”
With no hesitation at all, Bright took his hand and held on tight.
Ikaw ang aking palagi
Ako'y iyong kakampi
At kung sa hirap ay abutin
Basta ba't magkatabi
“Bakit naman ako ang sinurprise mo? Diba ikaw ang may birthday, soulmate?”
Parehas nang nakaupo sa ibabaw ng blanket ang magkasintahan. Patuloy parin ang paglibot ng mata ni Bright sa mga litrato nilang nakasabit sa loob ng tipi kung saan sila nakaupo. Si Win naman ay hindi maialis ang mata sa boyfriend niya. Yung kabog ng puso niya pakiramdam niya ay dinig na dinig na ni Bright.
“Soulmate…”
“Hm?”
“I think you might be the love of my life.”
Napatingin sa kanya at natawa na lang si Bright sa sinabi niya. “Ngayon mo lang narealize?”
Win’s face, however, remained serious. “Promise mo sakin na mamahalin natin yung isa’t isa habang buhay? That no matter what, nothing will change?”
“I promise… hey…” Bright watched with wide eyes as Win took a deep breath before shifting his position, now kneeling on one knee. “Win? What are you…?”
“11 years mo na ko minamahal… but I have never felt more loved than I did in our last 3 years together. Tatlong taon. Tatlong taon na rin nakalipas mula nung sinubukan mo kong alukin ng kasal at humindi ako. I know I broke your heart that day pero sa loob ng tatlong taon na yon, wala akong narinig na kahit isang reklamo mula sayo. Wala kang ginawa kundi pawiin ang lahat ng takot na meron ako gamit ang pagmamahal mo. Despite everything, you never wavered in your love for me. Even when it got hard, you stayed by my side. Pinatunayan mo sakin araw-araw na regardless of whether we are married or not, alam kong wala kang hindi kayang ibigay dahil sa pagmamahal mo sakin. You kept your promise na pipiliin mo ko araw-araw… kahit sa mga araw that I wouldn’t even choose myself… kahit sa mga araw na hindi ako karapat-dapat na piliin mo. You loved me enough that you even gave up one of your greatest dreams just to stay by my side. I knew right then and there that you deserved better and this is why I strive so hard to meet you halfway so that I can give to you my very best--the very best version of myself that I can give. The version that is still trying everyday to be better, the version that is still terrified but also the version that is now ready to give you all that I am.”
Tulo ng tulo ang luha ni Win habang nagsasalita siya habang si Bright ay nakatitig lang sa kanya. Naka-awang pa ang bibig nito, nanginginig ang mga kamay at mabilis ang kabog ng puso. Hindi niya kailan man inisip na mangyayari ito sa harapan niya kaya hindi siya makapaniwala sa nangyayari. Mas lalong nanlaki ang mata niya nang gumalaw si Win. With one hand, Win pulled out an elegant red box from his back pocket and with the other hand, he popped it open to reveal a similar gold ring to the one Bright had purchased years ago.
“I’m sorry it took so long, soulmate, pero ngayon handa na rin ako patunayan sayo na ganun din ang pagmamahal ko sayo. Na basta ba’t magkatabi tayo, susuungin ko rin ang lahat, pati ang mga kinakatakutan ko para iparamdam sayo na mahal rin kita. You’ve always been the braver one in our relationship so today, I decided that I’m going to be brave too. Today, I kneel in front of you asking for the chance to spend the rest of my life with you...as a married couple. I’m ready to move forward with you, soulmate. Alam ko madami pa kong utang na kailangan bayaran sayo so please let me pay for it for the rest of our lives together. Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree, will you share your surname with me? Will you be my husband?”
Nagulat na lang si Win dahil biglang napatingala si Bright na tila bang pinipigilan ang pagtulo ng luha niya ngunit pumatak ng pumatak ito sa mga pisngi niya.
“Hoy hala! Ba’t ka umiiyak? Wag ka umiyak!” Win immediately panicked, this suddenly felt like the first time they spoke 11 years ago, only this time their roles were reversed. He did the same thing Bright did to him that very day, he put one hand on top of his head and slowly started caressing his hair.
“Sigurado ka ba sa ginagawa mo? I don’t want to force you into something you don’t want. I don’t want you to be unhappy. I never want you to be unhappy with me.”
Win’s hand slipped from the top of Bright’s head to the nape of his neck and he gently pulled Bright forward so he could meet his eyes. “Soulmate, I could never be unhappy as long as I am with you. I still get cold sweat when I think about marriage but when I imagine it with you? Suddenly, it doesn’t seem so scary anymore. As long as it’s forever with you, I want this. I want you with all my heart. So please… marry me?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, soulmate.”
“Wala nang bawian ‘to ah?”
Pinangsikitan na ng mata ni Win ang kasintahan niya nang mapansin na inaasar na siya neto. “Isa pang tanong mo, Bright Vachirawit, sasapukin kita.”
Through his tears natawa na lang si Bright sa fiancè niya kaya inabot niya na lang ang kaliwang kamay niya dito. Win smiled back at him, the most beautiful smile Bright had ever seen on his face. With shaking hands, Win took his hand and slipped the sparkling gold ring to right where it belonged.
Win pulled Bright up to his feet where he then wrapped his arms around Bright’s neck. Bright’s arms automatically encircled around Win’s waist and their lips met in the middle. They moved at the same time and in perfect sync. They melted right into each other, their lips moving against each other in perfect rhythm. Heads tilted, lips parted, hands roamed, tongues intertwined, and time stood still. None of them battled for dominance but instead simply seeking union and intimacy in that heated and passionate moment.
They were both panting as they pulled away, settling to just press their foreheads against each other’s as they caught their breath.
“Happy birthday, soulmate.”
Win grinned. “Thank you, soulmate.”
“Di ko man lang nabigay sayo regalo ko bago mag-midnight. Birthday mo pero ikaw nagsurprise at nagbigay ng regalo sakin.”
“Ha? Anong regalo? Eh I already got the best gift tonight… in the form of my future husband.”
Namula naman ang pisngi ni Bright sa narinig niya at umabot pa nga ito hanggang tenga niya. He ducked his head as he blushed but a gentle smile was clear on his lips. Hindi niya kasi akalain na matatawag siya ng ganon ni Win.
“Wag ka mag-alala. What you gave me tonight is more than enough for me, soulmate.”
Bukas, ang sulat ko'y iaabot
Laman nito'y 'wag ilagay sa limot:
"Kalawakan ko ang 'yong kamay"
Bukas, ang sampaguita kong napulot
Ay ibibigay sa 'yo, o irog
At mga diwa natin ay 'di na mawawalay
Win huffed as he tapped his g-tech repeatedly on the table. It’s been months since the proposal and the wedding is coming together smoothly. Neither he nor Bright wanted a big wedding so they were pretty hands-on as they planned for a small intimate one by the beach. Lahat halos ng preparation ay ginagawa nila ng magkasama mula sa pag-pili ng susuotin nila hanggang sa pag-ayos ng table arrangement during the reception. Yun nga lang itong ginagawa ni Win ngayon, alam niyang kailangan niyang gawin mag-isa.
His vows.
Yamot siyang napakamot sa ulo niya. Gusto niya nang ipalo sa ulo niya ang maliit na booklet na hinanda nila ni Bright para sa vows nila. Sa tanan ng buhay niya hindi niya maalala yung huling beses na hindi niya alam kung ano bang sasabihin niya. Napakadaldal niyang tao at lawyer siya! He always knows what to say at never rin siya nagpapigil sa kung anong gusto niyang sabihin but with his vows? He was completely stumped. It was like he either had too much to say or nothing at all. Hindi naman sa wala siyang masabi kay Bright. Hindi nga matahimik ang isipan niya sa dami ng tumatakbo dito. Nahihirapan rin kasi siya to put his thoughts and feelings into words. He loves Bright so much that it almost seems like there are not enough words in the world to be able to fully encompass how he feels about his soulmate.
But he had to do it. He had to figure it out kasi wala na siyang choice. He had to get his vows done tonight because he was getting married in... He checked the clock on his phone and realized that it was already 5 minutes past midnight. So in that case, he was marrying Bright later today.
“Fuck!” He could not believe that he had waited all this time to sit down and get this done. He never crammed and yet here he is cramming his wedding vows. Bright was going to throttle him.
Bright.
Ano kayang ginagawa ni Bright ngayon? Was he writing his vows right now too?
Technically, mahigit 12 hours niya na hindi nakikita ang mapapangasawa niya. Kaya rin siguro hindi siya makapag-focus sa dapat niyang gawin. Andito sila sa iisang private resort ngunit pinagbawalan sila ng pamilya ni Bright na magkita. Malas daw pag nagkita ang ikakasal 24 hours before the wedding. Gusto sana magmaktol ni Win dahil ayaw niya mahiwalay kay Bright pero hindi rin kasi siya maka-hindi sa gusto ng Mama ni Bright. Ayan tuloy magkahiwalay sila ng cabin ni Bright ngayong gabi. Si Bright kasama ang pamilya niya at si Win naman kasama si Gun, Kana at ang Ate niya na umuwi pa galing Canada para sa kasal niya at ang Mama niya na ngayon ay nakakasundo na nilang magkapatid.
Win sighed. Alam naman ni Win that he wasn’t supposed to… but he really wanted to see Bright. He knew a part of him couldn’t focus because he was worried about what was going to happen later. Si Bright lang ang magpapatahimik sa magulo niyang isipan. He just knew that seeing Bright would give him the clarity he needed to finish his vows.
So he grabbed a black hoodie from his suitcase and ran
Ikaw ang aking katahimikan
Kapag sabay-sabay ang ingay at kaguluhan
Kahit nga ang kadiliman
Kapag ikaw na ang ngumiti, matatabunan
Ducked behind a palm tree, Win dialed Bright’s number. Wala pang tatlong ring nasagot na ni Bright ang tawag niya. “Are you getting cold feet already, soulmate?”
“No but I’m outside your cabin and I need to see you.”
“Ha?! We are not supposed to see each other 24 hours before the wedding.”
“Pipikit ako! Promise!”
“Fine… pero umalis ka sa cabin ko. Wala ako dyan. Andito ako sa cabin mo hehe bilis pinapasok na ako nila Kana”
“Ha? Anong ginagawa mo dyan?”
“Gusto rin sana kita makita.”
Win fought the urge to grin and lost. “Mahal na mahal mo talaga ako noh?”
“Oo. Bilisan mo na bago tayo mahuli.”
-
“Soulmate? Ba’t ang dilim naman dito?” Win’s room was pitch black, he couldn’t see anything.
“Shhhh wag mo i-on ang ilaw para di natin makita ang isa’t isa. Listen to my voice. I’m right here.”
Win held his hands out in front of him, trying to navigate the room without being able to see anything. Buti na lang at kwarto niya ito kaya alam niya naman kahit papaano ang lay-out.
“Bright naman eh, if I fall flat on my face--”
“Tatawanan kita.”
“Soulmate! That’s not something you say to the love of your life!”
“Wag ka mag-alala. Pakakasalan parin kita kahit may black eye ka bukas.”
“Bwiset ka.”
Win listened to the sound of Bright’s soft laughter until he felt a hand outstretched in the dark. Win grasped onto it tightly.
“Bright?”
“I’m right here.” Win felt his hand being pulled forward and the back of it touching Bright’s soft lips.
Win’s other hand found Bright’s shoulder in the dark.
“Are you okay, soulmate?” Bright asked as they held onto each other in the dark.
Win rested his chin on Bright’s broad shoulder. “I just wanted to see you.”
“You can’t see me though.”
Natawa si Bright nang kurutin siya ni Win. “Alam mo ikaw… You know what I mean!”
“Are you sure it’s not… something else?”
“Like what?”
“Like… I don’t know....second thoughts?”
“Tinatanong mo ba ko if I have cold feet?”
“...Di naman ako magagalit if you have them.”
“Is that why you wanted to see me? You wanted to make sure na di ako tatakbo?” Win asked teasingly.
“No. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that if you were going to change your mind, hindi ako magagalit. You just need to tell me.”
Win’s heart melted at Bright’s words but at the same time, it also ached. The consideration that Bright had for Win was astounding but it was also heartbreaking because he knew he had put Bright through so much. “Oh, soulmate. I’m definitely nervous...” Win clutched onto Bright tighter. “But I’m not going to change my mind. I promise.”
“So then why did you want to see me?”
“I was writing my vows and I’m having a little trouble trying to figure out what to say to you.”
“Okay, so how can I help you?”
“I guess I just need a little inspiration...”
“Ahhh... Inspiration ba hanap mo?” Bright’s voice lowered into a deeper but teasing tone. One that Win knew too well.
Win’s cheeks heated and turned into pink as he could almost perfectly picture the naughty grin that Bright was probably sporting right now. “Bright… umayos ka!”
“Ano bang klaseng inspiration ang hanap mo?” Bright teased. Natawa parin naman si Win nang maramdaman ang paglakbay ng kamay ni Bright pababa.
“Bright! Manyak ka talaga!” Win squirmed in his arms but made no move to stop his fiancè’s hands from moving in the direction they wanted to nor did he try to stop the lips that hovered over his. In fact, he was even the one who closed the distance between them.
In the darkness, Win couldn’t see Bright’s smile but he felt it against his lips when he kissed him.
Win got exactly what he came here for. It wasn’t an answer to how to finish his vows but now all his senses and his thoughts were full of Bright.
His clarity.
Bukas, ang sulat ko'y iaabot
Laman nito'y 'wag ilagay sa limot:
"Kalawakan ko ang 'yong kamay"
Bukas, ang sampaguita kong napulot
Ay ibibigay sa 'yo, o irog
At mga diwa natin ay hindi na mawawalay
“You said we were nervous. I am too.” Bright admitted quietly, holding Win against his chest as they laid on the bed, facing each other. Win couldn’t see him but he knew he was so close that he could feel the tip of his nose against his.
“What are you nervous about? Are you really scared that I’ll run?”
“No!”
“Edi ano?”
“Siguro natatakot lang ako na napipilitan ka lang pakasalan ako cause you feel like you need to make it up to me o dahil natatakot ka lang na iniisip ko na what we have isn’t enough for me.”
Win’s cold fingers come into contact with Bright’s cheek, slowly caressing it. “Soulmate, please trust me. We might have different reasons and it might have taken me a while to come around but I’m all onboard for this.”
“Can I ask what changed your mind?”
“Hmmm… probably the realization that if marriage is your dream, making you happy is mine.”
Bright searched for Win’s other hand in the dark and held onto it when he found it. His gold ring and the gold ring Win was wearing pressed against each other as they intertwined their fingers. Luckily, the ring Bright bought Win ages ago had still been in his possession. He never had the heart to return it so now it sat exactly where it was meant to be: on Win’s ring finger. “Correction: Marriage to you is my dream. Otherwise, it wouldn’t mean anything at all... But Win, are you happy? Will this make you happy too?”
“What do you mean?”
“Ginagawa mo lang ba ‘to para pasayahin ako o gusto mo rin ‘to...?”
“Soulmate… hindi ba pag masaya ako, masaya ka rin?”
“Oo naman.”
“Edi ako rin. Pag masaya ka, masaya rin ako.”
“Hindi naman natin kailangan magpakasal para maging masaya, soulmate.”
“Hindi nga. I’m not marrying you just to make you happy. Syempre malaking part ‘yon pero hindi lang naman ‘yon eh. I’m not just marrying you either dahil takot akong mawala ka sakin. Oo, aaminin ko I considered it before. I would have married you 3 years ago during our fight, just because I was so afraid to lose you… but I didn’t. Not just because you didn’t ask me to but because I know you deserved more than just that reason. Tomorrow, I’m going to marry you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you happy, sharing everything, even our surnames with you. And if you’re worrying about my happiness, please don’t. Naalala mo pa ba yung sinabi natin before? Nung nag-away tayo? All of this just boils down to a piece of paper. Whatever we decide to do, as long as I have you and I’ll get to see you happy everyday… I will be happy. I am happy. How can I not be? I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with the love of my life. I don’t think I can find a greater reason to be happy other than that. Alam ko di natin kailangan magpakasal but I guess it all just boils down to personal choice and this is our choice. Mine and yours. I want to marry you, soulmate. I would happily spend the rest of my life married to you.”
Bright let out a breath that he felt like he’d been holding for so long. Relief and pure joy washing over him like a tidal wave. “Sure ka na talaga?”
“110% sure.” Win assured him, before poking him on the side. “Teka nga, ikaw ata ‘tong may cold feet eh! Baka mamaya ako ang di mo siputin mamaya ah!”
“Hell would freeze over before that ever happens! I just want to make sure this is something we both want.”
“If that’s what you’re worrying about, please don’t. I have other reasons for wanting this too.”
“What other reasons?”
“Ah well…”
Matatapos din ang pangungulila kong ito
Ilang tulog na lamang ang bibilangin ko
“Siguro also because I realized it feels nice…”
“Yung ano?”
“To have a new dream just at the tips of my fingers.”
“Anong dream naman ‘yon?”
“The thought that I will never be lonely again… because I can finally have something I never had--a home.”
“Oh, Win… Sabihin mo lang and I will build you the most beautiful home. Kahit saang lupalop pa ng mundo, I will move halfway across the world, a dozen times over for you if that’s what you want.”
Warmth spread all over Win’s chest at Bright’s words. His eyes filled up with tears. “Soulmate… you don’t have to go anywhere because my home is wherever you are. I found my home the moment you sat next to me in a classroom 11 years ago.”
“Soulmate…” Bright choked out, his voice full of emotion.
“Since I grew up without a home, it has become a lifelong dream to build one for myself… but it took you coming into my life to realize that I won’t get to build it but instead, I found it in you. Nung nakilala kita, doon ko lang na realize that a home isn’t just an infrastructure. A home gives you comfort when you are lonely, a safe space when you feel lost, a place to recharge when you feel weak, and unconditional love when you can’t find it elsewhere. You are my home. When I met you, I was already in complete awe that I even found you. I couldn’t even comprehend that I had the slightest chance of being happy that I often questioned if I was allowed to have you. I was terrified at the thought that I could lose you if I wanted more than what we already had. I had already convinced myself that I didn’t deserve you in the first place so anong karapatan kong humingi pa ng higit dun diba? But I guess as time passed, doing therapy made me realize that I can be worthy of such love that you provide. I am worthy. Hindi ko kasalanan yung nangyari sa mga magulang ko and I shouldn’t let that hold me back from living my life. My past does not define me but it has pushed me to be deserving of you now. I know now that I am allowed to want more… I’m allowed to envision a future with you in it. A future where I can have a home and a family to come home to as well. I want to start a family with you, soulmate.”
In the dark, Bright could only nod his head eagerly. He’d even forgotten that Win couldn’t see him. He was so emotional that the words he wanted to say were only on the tip of his tongue. His heart was beating so fast, it felt like it was going to burst from feeling so proud and so in love with his soulmate.
“I know we haven’t talked about it yet… at least not in detail, so you can say no. But I want to adopt as many kids as we can. I know what it’s like to grow up alone and without a family. That’s why I consider myself so lucky that I found my soulmate. You gave me a best friend, a family, a life partner and a home all rolled into one. I’m so lucky that destiny brought me to you but not everyone is as lucky as I am. I want to give kids--our kids, a home with us too. I just know you’d make the most amazing father, Bright. It would be my greatest honor to start a family with you too.”
“Win…” Bright couldn’t do anything but let out a shaky breath as Win kept going.
“While we’re at it, I also want to admit that I want at least a set of twins via surrogate, if that’s okay? I’m hoping that they look exactly like you with those chubby cheeks and doe eyes. Sayang naman ang magandang lahi mo kung hindi natin ikakalat diba? I even named them already! A girl and a boy: Lux and Soleil.”
“Lux means light in Latin…”
“Yes and Soleil means sun in French.”
“You want to name them after me? Sigurado ka ba dyan?”
“Oo. I told you, I want them to look like you. I want 2 little Brights. What do you think?”
Bright paused for a beat before saying, “I think... I like the names Bentley and Cartier.”
“Those can be their second names.” Win amended after thinking about it for a second.
“Okay, deal.” Bright whispered. “Lahat ng pangarap natin mula bukas tutuparin na natin ng magkasama. I’m here now to make sure that you’ll never have to endure life alone again, soulmate. Dadamayan na kita sa lahat, through the highs and the lows, through sickness and in health and in this life and the next, come what may, I will be by your side.”
“In this life and in the next, I will spend the rest of my life loving you.”
“You promise?”
“I do.”
“Do you promise?”
“I do.”
“Seal it with a kiss?”
“You don’t even have to ask.” Win whispered as he claimed his soon to be husband’s lips in a passionate kiss.
Ang sulat ko'y iaabot
Laman nito'y 'wag ilagay sa limot:
"Kalawakan ko ang 'yong kamay"
Bukas, ang sampaguita kong napulot
Ay ibibigay sa yo, o irog
At mga diwa natin ay, mga puso natin ay hindi na mawawalay
Breathless from all the kisses they exchanged, Bright sighed, “I think you may have just figured out what to say in your vows. I have no idea how I’m going to beat that.”
Win giggled. “I guess I did. Kailangan ko na lang isulat para hindi na natin makalimutan kahit kelan. Iyak ka ulit bukas para maganda yung pictures ah. ”
Natawa si Bright sa sinabi ni Win at tumango-tango na lang. “I can’t wait to marry you, Metawin.” Bright hummed against Win’s lips.
Win smiled as he pressed his forehead against Bright’s, pushing them as close as possible that their lips touched as they spoke. “Isang tulog na lang asawa na kita. Mula bukas, akin ka na habang buhay. Never na tayo maghihiwalay, okay lang sayo?”
“Hmm… I think that’s more than enough.”