Chapter Text
Virgil rapped on the door — and nearly flung himself backward when it immediately swung open.
“H-hey, Logan.” Virgil attempted a half-smile.
“Virgil,” Logan greeted him, holding the door open. “Please, come in.”
“Thanks.” Virgil entered. “So. That ‘trial’ today, huh.”
“Yes, I found it quite difficult. I suppose I am unaccustomed to taking a purely observational role.” Logan sat in his office chair, sighing.
Virgil leaned against the wall. “I’m sorry we didn’t summon you sooner.” He caught himself twisting the sleeves of his hoodie and quickly stuck his hands in his pockets.
Logan looked away. “Yes, well. There’s no use in dwelling on the what-ifs and should-haves. No harm was done.”
“Falsehood,” Virgil said wryly. “Even if everything turned out fine — which it didn’t — we still hurt you by leaving you out. Believe me, I know how it feels.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, Virgil, I am incapable of feeling hurt.”
Here we go. “Yeahhhh. Uh. That’s actually why I came over to talk to you,” Virgil replied. He watched Logan from under his bangs. “Do you remember when Thomas still thought he was straight?”
“Of course.”
“He was so deep in the closet he probably thought he was in Narnia.” Virgil caught Logan’s head tilt and quickly amended, “Sorry, metaphor. Point is, Thomas didn’t know he was gay. But you knew.”
“I did. Virgil, what point are you trying to make?”
“Please,” Virgil raised a hand, palm out, “let me keep going?” Logan hesitated, then nodded, expression neutral.
Virgil allowed himself a deep breath before continuing. “You knew. But Thomas was too afraid to admit the truth to himself. Remember talking to Deceit about that?”
“Yes.” Logan studied Virgil. “He told you about our discussion, I take it.”
“I was there,” Virgil said simply. Logan’s eyebrows rose as he made the connection. “I was in Deceit’s room. I heard the whole thing. And... I was scared you were going to ruin everything.
“I kinda pushed all my fear onto you to get you to shut up. Called you a robot, emotionless. It’s my fault you don’t think you have feelings. You do. Deceit was lying at the trial today. I couldn’t — I can’t just let you keep thinking that you don’t.” Virgil slowly breathed out, deliberately relaxing the tension in his shoulders as he did. “I’m really sorry, L,” he murmured.
He finally looked up. Logan had his eyes closed, deep in thought.
“Fascinating. I wasn’t aware that you had manifested so early,” Logan mused, eyes opening. “It does make sense, given the inner turmoil we were experiencing at the time...”
“‘We.’ Exactly. You felt it too.”
“I was referring to ‘us’ as reflections of and actors within Thomas’s personality,” Logan corrected, not ungently. “As Deceit then pointed out, I did not feel this turmoil as you and the other sides did, though I was aware of it. He was correct, as were you. I am not a robot, but there is an accuracy to the metaphor.”
Virgil bit his lip. Seeing this, Logan continued, “I do accept your apology for your actions back then, and I appreciate your telling me, Virgil. But you did not cause me to accept a false premise. You and Deceit helped me to understand a truth about myself: I do not experience emotions as you all do.”
“Dude, you don’t even know how wrong you are,” Virgil said, his voice rough.
Logan gave him a slight smile. “Please, explain it to me, then.”
Virgil ran a hand through his hair, trying to think. Shit, I’m literally the worst person to have this discussion. ...Wait. I’m not the right person, so who...? “Who were you waiting for when I knocked just now?”
“I wasn’t waiting for anyone in particular.”
“No, that's not true. You were at the door as soon as I knocked, and you glanced behind me to see if anyone else was coming. You were...” Virgil swallowed. “You were disappointed I wasn’t someone else.”
Logan’s brow furrowed. “Virgil, I am deeply sorry that I gave you the impression you weren’t wanted —”
“I know,” said Virgil. “I’ll get over it. Who did you want to see, really?”
Logan leaned back in his chair, thinking. “Patton, I suppose... I would value a ‘debriefing’ about today’s events.”
“So why not go to him?” Before Logan could answer, Virgil continued, “I think you might want Patton to come to you. Because he owes you an apology. He knew he was in over his head, but he didn’t ask for your help when he could have.”
Logan opened his mouth, but Virgil cut him off. “He hurt you, Lo. I don’t know if you’re disappointed or frustrated or, or, or angry, but I know he hurt you. You’re handling it really well but you feel it. You feel.”
“That’s... quite a hypothesis,” Logan said finally.
He didn’t say anything else for thirty-two seconds (or, as Virgil estimated it, approximately forever).
“So... what are you thinking, teach?” Virgil finally dared to ask.
Logan met his gaze. “A lot of things. Always, a lot of things. This, though,” Logan murmured, trailing off a moment. He cleared his throat. “I can’t fault your analysis, Virgil, but neither can I support your conclusion.”
“Why not?” This was a mistake. Why did I think I could argue with Logic? Why am I still here?
To Virgil’s surprise, Logan let out a short laugh. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know.” Logan smiled, but his eyes looked tired. “I value your perception and insight in our conversations with Thomas, which is why I am troubled to find myself reluctant to accept your words now.”
Virgil opened his mouth. Then he closed it.
Logan continued. “My reaction is... illogical, which in and of itself tells me that you have hit on something substantial.
“So, no, I can’t tell you why I don’t accept your argument. What I can do is promise that I will consider the matter further, and reevaluate my presuppositions as necessary.”
That’s an invite to GTFO if I’ve ever heard one. Virgil stood up off the wall and cracked open the door. “I guess I can accept that. Thanks for hearing me out, Lo.”
“Of course. I appreciate your candor, Virgil,” Logan responded. “Though... would you do me a favor?”
He sounded so tentative, Virgil immediately turned and stuck his head back through Logan’s door. “Yeah, sure, Lo. What do you need?”
“Would you ask Patton to meet me in the kitchen, say, in an hour?”
Virgil grinned. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.”
Logan returned the smile. “Thank you.”
Virgil gently closed Logan’s door. As he turned around, he spotted Patton tiptoeing down the hallway, clearly trying not to be noticed.
“Patton!” Virgil called, jogging after him. Patton froze, quickly plastering a weak smile on his face.
“Oh! Heya kiddo, good to see you but your old pop is just popping off to bed for a nap, ha ha...”
“Make it a short one,” Virgil said. “Logan wants to meet with you in an hour to talk about all the” — he waved his arms around — “everything today. And I think he’s really upset that you didn’t call him for help,” he added, “but you know how he is about recognizing his own feelings. It would be really really nice if you apologized, okay?”
Patton sagged. “Yeah... Yeah, you’re right. I’ll talk to him.”
“Good. Thanks, Patton.” Virgil rocked back on his heels, adrenaline fading. “Remember: the kitchen in one hour. This is important, Pat, don’t sleep through it.”
“Okay,” Patton acquiesed. “The kitchen in an hour. Got it.”
Virgil gave a two-fingered salute and walked off, more than ready for a nap of his own.
As Virgil’s door clicked shut, Patton raised his middle finger in an obscene parody of Virgil’s salute. His smile soured and grew scales. “‘The kitchen in an hour.’ Hmph,” Deceit muttered, sinking out. “I’ll be sure to extend the invitation.”