Chapter Text
Let the record show, Shouta Aizawa blames Hizashi Yamada for what was happening.
Not that he knew what the loud blond did, of course. It could’ve been anything. A random comment. A quick glance. A slightly exaggerated facial expression.
When they were teenagers, Shouta had felt somewhat threatened by Hizashi. Not that he told him, of course. Hizashi had known anyway.
There was just this… look? Feeling? Glint? Whatever it was, Hizashi had it. It was like he knew more about you than he was supposed to. Like he could force you to talk about things you don’t want to talk about without you even realizing. Like, behind the loudness, he was an analytical genius that specializes in whatever last caught his attention. Like something to be afraid of.
He brushed it off as illogical at the time. People weren’t supposed to be like that. Then he started to notice these… comments Hizashi would say. How they’d always be right before some petty teenage drama that always revealed something about someone. Something he’d describe as interesting.
By the time Shouta realized his gut feeling of danger around the blond was in fact correct, he was already attached. So, like any logical person, Shouta decided to accept this… whatever about his new best friend. It wasn’t really his business. Unless it was, but he trusted the man to not make it about something important. Just some harmless fun.
God, he’s going to throttle him.
“You can’t possibly say you think me and my mentee are worse than you and yours,” Shouta said, rubbing the bridge between his nose. Him and Shinsou? Worse than Yagi and Midoriya? Yeah, right.
“Young Shinsou looks just like you but in purple! Believe me, I’d know! They made merch of me in literally every color before,” Yagi fruitlessly points out.
“Midoriya has called you Dad before.” That was actually a great story. Well, great stories. It happened a lot.
“He has done that to every male teacher.” Ah. Right. Either that boy has some terrible experiences that make normal fucking teachers seem parental or his father is Weird with a capital W. Or both, but Shouta doesn’t have time to think about that.
“His room is a shrine to you.” Shouta really wishes he’d never gone into that room. The eyes following you, the fake smiles everywhere, the frozen bodies of dozens of All Mights… yeah, no.
“Young Shinsou has multiple sets of the one piece of merch you have!” Unfair. Yagi has no point.
“That he got from Midoriya.” Shouta pointed out. That… was a day. Midoriya showing up with two bags full of the only piece of official Eraserhead merch in existence and passing out all the ones in the first bag to everyone in the class. Including Shouta. Who was hiding in his sleeping bag. Some of them made their merch into phone charms, which he had to stare at every. Single. Day.
“The first one!” With the second bag, however, Midoriya had a very different plan. One that reeked of either Nedzu or Hizashi. Or both. It was probably both.
“No, the first one was the free one. Your mentee decided selling official Eraserhead merch to my mentee after buying out the stock was a good idea.” When asked about the bag, Midoriya just named prices. Figuring out what it meant before anyone else, Shinsou had run up to him, asked how much it was for the entire bag, and slammed down the aforementioned money the second Midoriya had named his price. It would’ve been entertaining if it wasn’t Eraserhead merch and Shouta’s goddamn apprentice. Fuck.
“He was only selling a couple! And Young Shinsou still bought all of them!” Yagi has a point, not that Shouta will admit it.
“I don’t think you get the point. You guys have matching track suits.” That… was an interesting encounter.
“You have the same weapon.” Unfair. Wouldn’t hold up in court.
“You’ve brought Midoriya lunch!” Much to the amusement of the other teachers.
“You’ve brought your boy lunch too!” The other teachers wish they knew this. How Yagi knows this, Shouta doesn’t know. This time, he blames Midoriya, although the true culprit was snickering behind him on the couch. Fucking Hizashi.
“Ok, look, that doesn’t matter! It’s not like he freely walks in and out of my office regularly!” Again, much to the amusement of the rest of the teachers. They have a betting ring for how many times a week Midoriya will be seen in Yagi’s office. So far, Shouta’s best friend has won every single time. That bitch.
“Yeah, but you gave Young Shinsou permission to come into your office anytime he wants! I never told Young Midoriya he could just come in. And he’s only in there when I invite him!” Let the record show, that was taken out of context. He had told Shinsou he could come to his office whenever he needed a break from 1-A. Shouta’s actually surprised that he hasn’t taken him up on his offering yet. God knows Shouta would have.
“Yes, but you invite him multiple times a week-“ Shouta tries to point out.
“That’s because Young Iida told me he was missing me when-“ Yagi interrupts.
“How do you not hear yourself right now, oh my god-“
“Look at Young Shinsou’s costume! He’s identical-“
“You’re talking to me about costumes? As if-“
“Hey, Shinsou! Hey Midoriya!” Hizashi suddenly shouted out. Both men slowly turned to the door. Sure enough, there were their mentees. Fuck.
“Shinsou. Problem Child. What do you what?” Shouta crossed his arms, trying to keep his composure. Holy shit-
“We’re here for an art history project!” Midoriya says brightly. Shinsou rolls his eyes.
“Never mind that, were you two talking about us?” He says, sounding almost excited. Shouta is silent.
“I plead the fifth?” Yagi says hesitantly. Hizashi snorts.
“That only works in America! Now, why don’t you tell these little listeners exactly what you guys were talking about, yo?” Hizashi has his, according to Shouta, “I’m messing with these bitches SO hard right now” face on. Shouta glares at him.
“Yeah, I was pretty curious when I was hearing you shout at each other in the halls!” Midoriya says brightly, smiling with a measurable wattage to Yagi. Everyone is silent. After a few moments, Shinsou rolls his eyes, pointedly not looking at his mentor, and turns to Midoriya.
“So, are we bringing them into the pact or dissolving it?” He asks. Midoriya snorts.
“What pact?” Shouta questions immediately, way too grateful for a change in topic.
“Oh, nothing. Just the pact we made to not make fun of each other for their mentors!” Midoriya says cheerfully. God, is he ever anything but happy? Wait, hold on a sec. This topic isn’t better!
“To… what?” Yagi says intellectually.
“Yeah, everyone in 1-A teases us for you guys. Since you’re apparently embarrassing enough to argue about who is more embarrassing, I can’t say I blame them.” Shinsou drawls, finally looking at Shouta, eyes full of amusement with a slight tinge of embarrassment. What.
“I don’t treat you differently during class, though.” Shouta tries to point out. Key word is tries.
“You swat at him regularly. We all assume that’s a form of affection,” Midoriya shrugs. Hizashi giggles in the background.
“Well… Yagi, I see you’re not trying to argue.” Shouta deflects as Hizashi’s giggles turn into full blown laughter. He’s not trying to avoid the topic. He’s not.
“Wait, now hold on there, Aizawa-“
“I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I’ve seen Midoriya’s mom come in crying because she was proud of him for not breaking bones and you still manage to regularly beat that out in terms of embarrassment,” Shinsou points out, interrupting Yagi. At this point, Hizashi is howling. Shouta stops, thinking.
“Is this why you came into practice one day covered in All Might gear, Problem Child?!” He asks, scared. Up until the… damage done to the gym floor by means of a certain hair clip, Shouta had been wondering why his mentee wasn’t making fun of Midoriya for his fashion choices. Afterwards, he had assumed it was a healthy dose of fear. Not… this.
“No, I just wanted to wear All Might stuff!” Midoriya says, barely keeping in his giggles. Shinsou rolls his eyes, clearly having heard this excuse before.
“Right, while this is enlightening, I’m going to ask again. Dissolve the pact or rope them in?” Shinsou questions again. Midoriya thinks for a second. Shouta watches them, slightly scared.
“Why don’t we ask them? I don’t really care either way!” Midoriya says brightly, turning to Shouta, eyes glinting. He gulps, thinking of “talking” about Midoriya and All Might with Hizashi and Nemuri. About the occasional cup of tea with Nedzu to “discuss” the two. About the quiet snickering through the entire teacher’s lounge when Midoriya comes in there looking for Yagi once again.
“Absolutely not,” Shouta hisses out. This seems to rejuvenate Hizashi’s laughing fit. At this point, he would’ve been worried for his friend if it wasn’t for the fact that he was 100% behind this. Once again, Shouta didn’t know how, but he knew he was. That fucker. Midoriya also starts giggling.
“Thank fuck. Midoriya.” Shouta watches as Shinsou turns to his still snickering friend.
“Yes, Shinsou?” He manages to get out between giggles. What proceeds is the most brutal tear down Shouta has ever witnessed, all aimed around All Might and Midoriya. What seems to be months of roasts spews out of Shinsou’s mouth as Midoriya just laughs harder and harder, not even trying to defend himself. Around the time Shinsou gets to the sheer amount of money Midoriya has spent in the last week on All Might merch, Midoriya and Hizashi are both on the floor, laughing, and Yagi looks like he’s about to join them by means of fainting from embarrassment. Not only that, but every now and then, Midoriya just gives Shouta these looks that remind him of a strange mixture of Hizashi and Nedzu, eyes filled with unending humor and knowledge, leaving Shouta feeling as bare and embarrassed as Yagi, causing him to tuck his face into his capture weapon, definitely not avoiding the small boy’s gaze. Absolutely not. It’d be illogical. Nemuri comes into the room at one point, leaves, and comes back with Ectoplasm, Vlad King, Thirteen, and a bunch of popcorn. They start cheering Shinsou on and throwing popcorn at Shouta and Yagi, who just stand there and take it. Why the hell had either of them thought that having a mentee was a good idea?
Eventually, Shinsou stops, breathing hard. Midoriya slowly gets up from the floor, munching on a handful of popcorn from Hizashi, who was now in the peanut gallery.
“You done?” He says, smirking.
“These past two months have been hell. Hell!” Shinsou shouts at him. Shouta understands. Way too well. “You left me with your friends! With All Might! Knowing I couldn’t make fun of you!”
“To be fair, I didn’t know we were having lunch together that day,” Midoriya points out, a playful smile on his lips. Ah. So he did know. Problem Child.
“Yes you did! Aizawa, he did, right? Look at that face! Tell me I’m not going insane!” Shouta suddenly remembers having this same conversation with Nedzu when he was a student and Nedzu was a teacher. About Hizashi, obviously.
“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” Shouta says bluntly. If he had to go through it, so does Shinsou. It builds character.
“Er, if it helps, Young Shinsou, I didn’t tell him I was inviting him for lunch til I ran into you guys,” Yagi says, still bright red. Shinsou wails.
“I know you knew, Midoriya. Even if I never prove it, I know it. You’re WAY too smart for you own good!” And if that wasn’t familiar to Shouta’s ears. Hizashi sends him a mischievous look, grinning sharply. Shouta rolls his eyes, pointedly looking away. Hizashi pouts, until an idea strikes him, his eyes glinting mischievously and he suppresses a smile.
“Aww, this reminds me of old times!” He says happily, causing Shouta to look at him sharply. That little fuck. Midoriya and Nemuri laugh. What does MIDORIYA know about it-
“Oh yeah, definitely!” Nemuri says, giving away nothing. Shinsou looks at the two for a moment before promptly screaming.
“That’s it! I’m leaving! I’m leaving! Midoriya should’ve never met Mic-sensei, I don’t know what the fuck Midnight-sensei and Mic-sensei are talking about or why my fucking mentor looks more embarrassed by THAT conversation than me walking in on him arguing with fucking All Might about who’s worse with their apprentice, and at this point, a passing grade in art history isn’t worth it! Goodbye!” He says, slightly hysterical, walking out the teacher’s lounge and slamming the door behind him. Shouta wishes he could follow suit. Midoriya grins.
“I did it,” he says to Hizashi, a sharp smile on his face.
“What did you do to Shinsou, Problem Child?” Shouta asks, trying his best to cover his embarrassment with a disappointed teacher face. It doesn’t work, at least not for Hizashi, who snorts.
“Nothing you can prove!” The person who Shouta is seriously debating on throwing out a window says, pulling down his stupid fucking sunglasses to wink at him. Fucking Hizashi.
“Hizashi, what the fuck,” Shouta says eloquently. Thirteen snorts.
“Oh, don’t blame him! Shouldn’t you have better situational awareness, Aizawa-sensei?” The fucking Problem Child questions, looking way too innocent. Shouta glares at him as Hizashi starts howling.
“Get out.”
“Hey! I still need to talk to Midnight-sensei about classes!” Midoriya whines.
“You expect me to believe that that wasn’t something Hizashi told you to say to Shinsou to get him into the teacher’s lounge?” It has happened before. Shouta doesn’t want to talk about it.
“No, but he did come up with the idea for the project.” Nemuri says, snorting. Ugh.
“Hizashi, you get out too.” Shouta revamps his statement. Into something better, he thinks.
“But Sho! I didn’t do anything!” Hizashi whines. Shouta rolls his eyes.
“Yes you did. Problem Child, Hizashi, get out before I throw you out of a window.” And he will. He wants to. God, he hopes that don’t leave.
“That isn’t very nice, sensei.” Midoriya pouts. Shouta glares at him. Midoriya giggles. Bitch.
“Yeah, the little listener is right! Be nice!” Hizashi teases. Deciding glaring at Midoriya is a fruitless effort, Shouta turns his glare over to Hizashi. Which is also a fruitless effort.
“I’ll be nice once you’re gone. Now leave.” He hissed out. Hizashi smiles sweetly.
“Fine. I’m taking the popcorn.” He concedes. Shouta gives him a sarcastic smile.
“Says who?!” Thirteen butts in. Hizashi and Midoriya both give them a look.
“Says me and the kid. And we’re leaving! Gotta see Nedzu, you know!” Hizashi says, way too cheerfully. Midoriya whoops in excitement.
“That’s even worse!” Shouta shouts, about to hit something. Preferably someone who’s hero name rhymes with Resent Ic. But that’s just a preference. He’ll also take the hell spawn of a best friend he has. Or the person with the stupidest hair style in the room. Any of those.
“Bye, Aizawa-sensei! Bye, All Might! Bye, Thirteen-sensei! I’ll see you next period, Midnight-sensei! Ectoplasm-sensei.” Midoriya squints at Ectoplasm. Shouta continues to swap between glaring at Hizashi and the Problem Child.
“Hang on, why don’t I get a goodbye?” Ectoplasm says, somehow pouting. Shouta doesn’t question the semantics.
“Integrals.” Midoriya says dubiously.
“Fair enough.” Ectoplasm concedes. Shouta groans.
“LEAVE!” He shouts.
“Bye, Shoooo~! See you later!” Hizashi, god curse the man, says playfully. It takes all of Shouta’s willpower to not throw him out a window.
“GET OUT!” He shouts again. Midoriya and Hizashi both laugh, grab the popcorn, and run out of the teacher’s lounge. The room falls silent.
“Midoriya’s laugh is cute.” Thirteen says, breaking the silence. Shouta turns to them.
“What exactly are you guys doing here?” He ask, glaring.
“Nemuri told us there was drama happening.” Ectoplasm says helpfully. Well. At least he’s honest.
“I can’t believe I couldn’t find Snipe to invite. He would’ve loved this.” Nemuri whines. Shouta rubs the bridge of his nose.
“So none of you are here to do your jobs?” He asks, gritting his teeth.
“Nope! Well, I assume Nemuri was. But it seems what she planned on doing went out the window when you decided to threaten her student into leaving.” Thirteen says cheerfully, not at all daunted.
“I’ll threaten you into leaving.” Shouta threatens.
“Can you take on all of us?” Nemuri says, eyes twinkling.
“Probably. ‘Zashi’s gone.” Shouta points out. Nemuri pales.
“Fuck.” She says eloquently.
“Yeah, fuck. Get out.” Shouta snaps, glaring. There’s silence for a moment.
“Well, would you look at the time! It seems like I have a prior engagement! Don’t wait up, Aizawa!” Vlad King says cheerfully, Ectoplasm nodding along frantically. They both run out of the door.
“Yeah, I gotta go to the new definitely not USJ for… stuff.” Thirteen adds helpfully, also running out of the door.
“And I’m leaving because you’re terrifying, Shouta! So bye!” Nemuri says bluntly, waving at the man, leaving at a leisure pace. Silence falls, the room empty except for two teachers.
“…did you just kick out the rest of the teachers?” Yagi asks, voice trembling slightly. Shouta has suddenly found a new target to glare at.
“Do you want to get kicked out too?” He threatens.
“Absolutely not. Stellar job with that, Aizawa!” Yagi quickly corrects himself, looking scared.
“That’s what I thought.” Shouta hisses, walking over to the couch and promptly pulling out his sleeping bag. Time for a fucking nap.