Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Adrien just knew there was something wrong, he had a terrible gut feeling the whole day. With Marinette closing off every day more, he had been pretty skeptical and opposed to skip school for a last-minute photoshoot his father scheduled.

Every day that passed, his friend lost a bit of the light she emanated and it really wasn’t the time to lose entire days of school, when he was supposed to look out for her. 

Not that his father would have understood.

Saying he was worried was an understatement. Accidents happened between her and their classmates at school or hangouts, to which he was almost always absent for external reasons; his father. 

He heard about many misunderstandings that led to her isolating herself and their friends isolating her furthermore.  

And eventually she just detached from the group.

He was sure something was going on, aside from the Lila situation, but if he couldn’t get through her for that matter, how could he hope she’d open up with something even more personal and hidden to which he was possibly a stranger?

After the battle against Miracle Queen, Ladybug crumbled. She acted as if everything was fine, but it was obvious things were the total opposite. And he could understand totally, what happened was terrible and hurtful, he could only imagine what his partner felt, the amount of guilt she carried, no matter how much he tried to convince her that the blame didn’t fall on just one person. 

In the end, he wanted to be there for her, but he also had to give her the space she needed. It was a complex situation.

And as complex was Marinette’s situation. It started way before, but once they came back to school after those events, things escalated for the worst. 

He tried to mend the divide between his first friend and the other classmates and for a while it seemed to work. He even managed to bond on a deeper level with her. Surely Adrien didn’t like the circumstances, but he was happy about strengthening his and Marinette’s friendship.

Then all fell apart between his own hands and she shut everything, Adrien included, out. 

It wasn’t the rude kind, the indifference or grudge she held towards him when they met and got into that gum misunderstanding. It seemed a refusal driven by fear, as if his sole presence could burn and harm her and she felt a desperate need to protect herself. 

He didn’t know what he did wrong, but he certainly knew he needed to do better.

Both girls he cared about the most were shutting him out and he had just to stay there and see them falling apart.

They were the strongest and most resourceful people he ever met, but as wonderful as they were, they were also human and his cat instincts yelled “protect”.

When the group chat of his class went totally silent during the whole day, from morning to afternoon, he finally got the sign that told him to act quickly. 

The first person Adrien called was Nino, hoping to receive some kind of explanation to the bad gut feeling that pervaded him… and the answer lived up to his bad luck. 

“Marinette was what!?” Adrien asked, his eyes widening with incredulity. She was suspended? And she slapped Lila? It couldn’t be right…

If it was, something bad must have happened for sure. Marinette must have had reasons to act like that and things got out of her control.

“Yeah dude, she was like… out of herself. Well, she just hit once but she was shaking in anger and had this look like… she was out for her blood? If Kim didn’t take her away I have no idea what would have happened next.”

He shook his head. Marinette was fierce and he didn’t doubt for a second that she could kick anyone in the butt if needed, by words or actions, but it didn’t mean she was the kind of person to just jump at someone’s throat. Even someone as despicable as Lila. Not without a reason.

If she was driven to such an action it was because her limits were reached, Lila must have stepped too much in the grounds she already shouldn’t have crossed, even with his warnings. 

He wasn’t stupid, he knew it was very probable Lila kept tormenting Marinette, going behind his back and acting against their deal. She striked when he wasn’t around, which happened a lot recently. 

His hold onto the phone tightened at the thought of someone trying to take away his dear friend’s smile, trying to ruin the life of the kindest and warmest person he had the luck to know.

“But suspending her it’s way exaggerated…”

“It is, b-but… well dude, we all know Mr. Damocles…” Nino massaged his scalp “To be honest, I found it too harsh myself. Getting suspended is already a lot, but then being pushed to publicly apologize and getting double assignments for every single subject... Not even old Marinette could handle”

Adrien’s nose scrunched at Nino’s wording. Why were all of them so firm on seeing her as a different person? She didn’t change, she was just hurt.

From how Nino described the facts that occurred, probably aligned with everyone else’s view, Marinette stood between them as an unrecognizable and out of her mind being. Someone aggressive, dangerous and with unjustified reactions.  

All Adrien got, instead, was how scared, vulnerable and broken she must have been. 

He should have done better, if they reached that point it was because he underestimated the situation, he didn’t take bigger measures to protect and help his friend.
And the blond knew now that he had to reach out at all costs to her, even being nosy if needed… he needed to be there and help her pick up the pieces. Because if he didn’t, who would? 

Didn’t he promise to be there no matter what? That it would be fine as long as it was her and him together?

If his guesses were right, she was feeling cornered and alone. And if he was the only one seeing it, he needed to work twice as hard to make his presence strong in her life. 

At least until she could find someone better by her side, who wouldn’t fail in supporting her as she deserved, unlike him. He sure would have suffered about it, but for Marinette’s happiness and wellbeing he was willing to leave his place to someone more competent if needed.

He heard some snickers from the other side of the call, feeling dragged again with his feet on the earth. “I feel a bit sorry to laugh about that, but Lila had the whole hand mark on her face, shining like a traffic light! And she was literally thrown to the ground with a single slap! If the situation wasn’t so bad I would be amused, aside scared, by Marinette’s strength.”

“I never doubted it, she is always full of surprises”

“Yeaaah… but those times they were positive ones. This was… unsettling. I knew she capable of being scary but man, this was so unlike her”

“Lila must have deserved it.” The model heard himself snap, but he honestly couldn’t care enough to keep up his kind boy appearance while Marinette was being thrown in hell by everyone. “Marinette would never react like that with no motives.”

“Dude! Lila was just talking about an actress from a movie! Unless it was someone extremely close to Marinette I don’t see why it should have ticked her off to the point of hitting a classmate!”

The blond sighed. Marinette had plenty of reasons, some unfortunately he wasn’t yet aware of, but he got by himself the biggest one and being targeted by the italian girl for months was valid enough. 

If only he didn’t give her that stupid suggestion when Lila came back… maybe now she would trust and open up to him.

He wanted to spill everything about Lila, to explain to Nino how things were really going, but if they didn’t believe Marinette, how could they believe him? The new arrival to the class who missed most of their bonding activities due to an hectic life he was obligated to? Without Marinette’s side of things and various proofs, he couldn’t drag down Lila as she deserved.

He already tried to bring it up, to leave some hints around and speak separately to his classmates, but he was already shot down easily the moment he started the topic and considered the one too nice to see a negative change in a person, incapable of reading people and their social interactions. 

His father had him stuck like glue to Lila and his friends were too caught up by their new reality of things to take his concerns seriously

Even if the guy had to admit, he really wasn’t good at standing up for his opinion.

Something he needed to change if he wanted to help his bluebell eyed friend.

Marinette was now seen as the one who changed too much and Adrien as the innocent and kind guy who was too naive to accept the bad from someone he believed good. While probably he was the real one who understood the dangerous road everyone took.

“You were in the same class for years, you should know better”

“I know dude…” Nino sighed, there was clear embarrassment and natural regret in his voice “And I want to believe her, but… you surely have seen too. She is not the Marinette we knew last year…” 

Something told him that Nino knew things he wasn’t willing to share, he had a particular perspective on Marinette like everyone else and there was a specific reason for it.
However, he had his own share of facts too and nothing Nino would say could change Adrien’s mind, so he didn’t pressure him to speak. 

He knew he should have insisted, but instead he just focused on another question “Last year? You speak as if she was different before”

“She kind of was? We basically grew up together and share good memories but… we weren’t that close as it seems. Good classmates who could have fun together on the school grounds or the park, but she wasn’t really close to anyone in particular. Sometimes it feels like I know Marinette more than anyone because of how we used to hang out in the same group of kids for years, but then I realize I just… don’t? Or at least I didn’t”

“Why? That doesn’t sound so different from our Marinette, just more closed off” Adrien’s eyebrow raised, while he refused to use any word that could express acceptance of having a different friend at hand than the one he got to know.

The boy with glasses inhaled, trying to explain the best he could “You know I developed a brief crush on her around the time you joined our class. Knowing her for a long time would make you think I would have crushed on her already before, but I didn’t feel anything like that for her earlier and I’m extra sure about it. The boom coincided with one of her many changes, there are differences between Kidnette and Teenette ” he called her by nickname for the first time after a while.

“From how we tell our child tales, Kidnette seems like an open and popular girl, but she was much more introverted and shy. Before Alya joined our class she was more like a soft breeze. Only after, she started standing up to Chloé and picked up this sense of leadership she never really showed”

“Maybe it was because she had people to support and encourage her after Chloé walked all over her for so long” Adrien suggested. He knew Chloé was… trying to be better, and he appreciated that from his childhood friend, even if they weren’t close anymore. But there was no denying of her past actions and he still had bitter feelings about her bullying people, even more if it was Marinette. 

“Yeah, I think Alya helped her a lot to come out of her shell, but her change was… sudden. Mari was never one who let others condition her too much, so I am sure there was something else too. I have no idea what, but it took out of her a whole new world and… it was a drastic change. So by now it’s difficult for me to be surprised and totally reject the idea of her changing once again, even if it’s for the worse.”

Again, Adrien could understand Nino’s point of view, but his thoughts developed on a whole different line. 

He didn’t know the kid Marinette, the one Nino grew up with and lasted until Alya’s arrival, but he knew the current one. She was a fantastic person: kind, generous, supporting, creative, passionate, competitive, loving and social. He trusted and cared about this Marinette and knew she was there, the same person. 

Such a wonderful person is not just built with time, he could feel all of that as a natural and inner part of her. He believed in people changing, but someone like Marinette didn’t just become all she was suddenly, she just had a boost of confidence to open up and show how amazing she was. 

He could say that because he knew what it felt like to wear the mask of a small part of his true self and keep contained all the other shades. Fearing to be inadequate once opening up. He related so much that it was easy for him to come to the conclusions. 

Maybe he and Marinette were more similar than he thought… and in this case it didn’t make him all the happiest. 

The knowledge that his dear friend felt those same feelings, such a beautiful person inside out carrying that burden, made his stomach twist. 

Adrien shook his head, he didn’t want to hear any of that “No Nino, I know Marinette.”

“Well I am not denying it, but you’ve known her for less than me and you got closer only recently. And even Alya who is-was… her best friend-”

“Didn’t you say earlier that you thought you knew Marinette but then realized you didn’t? What makes it so impossible that I know her better than you all for what she is? I am the only one acting accordingly! Or at least… who tries to.” I may failed at that “I am the only one trusting her fully in this situation”

“...” Nino lowered his gaze, letting the words sink but visibly taken aback by that answer. He seemed genuinely taken aback by the accusation. But if he felt called out, perhaps Adrien’t didn’t throw sentences at the void “Dude, don’t you think we’s to reject the possibility too? That our Marinette has changed? Don’t you think we would like to get through her and drag out the Mari we once knew?”

“As long as you keep thinking she is a different person I won’t” he controlled the hiss coming out his teeth. He didn’t want to let out all his frustration on Nino, but the situation was bad. Very bad. And even if he held part of blame he was baffled at how he was the only was keeping firm on trusting their Everyday Ladybug. “She needs us to trust her”

“Unconditional trust brings so far without bases”

“Lila didn’t have bases yet all of you gave it to her.” He ignored Nino’s grimace “Why not with Marinette? Who gave us plenty of reasons just for being who she is? At this point I think it was her who had unconditional trust in us and we all let her down. That’s why we are in this situation.”

“Dude…”

Adrien knew the class tried genuinely at the start, that they cared about Marinette to some extent, but by now they just gave up entirely. And he couldn’t just accept that Lila won, because no matter what she thought, it wasn’t a game. Marinette’s life wasn’t a field to play on and to bring to ruins. She deserved so much more.

He brought a hand to his blond locks and started massaging his temple. Continuing the discussion was pointless; he was just getting more frustrated and right now he had other concerns to take care about. 

Marinette.

“I need to go now, I still have some things in my schedule. Please consider what we talked about” He turned off the call hastily, since the only thing he received from the other line was silence. At this rate, he would too start acting unlike his own person. At least the Adrien everyone thought to know.

But how couldn’t he? That Adrien persona barely helped his Princess or got through her.

It was time to try with his other faces, maybe the ones he couldn’t show easily to others. If he wanted to reach the deepest part of Marinette, perhaps he should take his own advice and be upfront on his. He needed to pull out his deepest self to do it. 

Starting from his cat alter ego “Plagg, Claws out”

…

The weather wasn’t the best, so he didn’t really expect to find her on her balcony, out in the open. However, he knew what one could do to escape that nasty feeling of suffocating.

The wind blowing on the skin exposed from the short sleeved shirt of her pajama was clearly making her shudder even from a distant view. 

Or maybe it was her sobbing?

When he landed by her side he verified she wasn’t sobbing, but was one thin wall away from breaking down. It was both comforting and worrying.

While of course it wasn’t his desire to see her crying and being in pain, it wasn’t healthy either to keep all inside.

And it worried him a lot how capable she was to do so.

She clearly noticed his arrival as she didn’t get even barely spooked or surprised by having the superhero by her side. She didn’t move even an inch, she stayed there, close to the wall and sitting on the ground, with her head laying between the arms resting on her knees. She was curling up on herself as if she needed to protect herself from the world, but it was visible how much exhausted she was and unable to do so.

It was a heartbreaking sight for him; someone so dear to him, putting all her faith to a broken and empty shell of herself, as if it was her only shelter in life. 

“Princess…” he spoke softly, caressing her back with care and patience. She didn’t deserve to be alone in this. No, she didn’t deserve to be in the situation in the first place.

“I’m not supposed to see anyone…” She said with such a simplicity that it spoke volumes about the resignation she was into. “Or well… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do… nor my parents I guess”

Chat Noir didn’t answer, just keeping on with his comforting touches. He would let her say anything she needed as long as she didn’t do it to hurt herself. He could wonder how much she needed someone to listen, and if she truste enough Chat Noir to do that, he would give any aid.

“I should be grounded for a thing that happened today at school… but apparently they are so disappointed and lost on what to do to punish me that they didn’t specify how I am restricted”

It was so hurtful to just hear her think and accept the idea of being a disappointment for her parents. Every single day he felt that way with his father and the last thing he wished was for her to share such a horrible emotion.

She tightened her grip on her arms “I-I know they are just worried about me and punishing Marinette is a way to show that, but if they don’t even know what to do with me it just confirms they don’t recognise me. How can they punish their daughter if they’re not sure it’s her anymore?”

“Mari…” He felt his throat rough. How could someone destroy that wonderful girl and her reputation so much that no one could see her anymore even if she was in front of them? Not even herself? How could someone even do that willingly and take enjoyment from it?

And how no one would just barge their way in, through the walls she put up? Letting it be and suggesting to turn their head the opposite way was wrong enough when he proposed it, but now that things were visibly worse and it was desperately needed to act differently, everyone just let it go.

And so she was letting go and fading everyday more.

He knew many people loved her, in primis Tom and Sabine, so why was everyone just losing hope? Why did everyone refuse that she could still be their Marinette but also hurting?

“I don’t want to disappoint them more than I already did…”

He couldn’t stay silent anymore “What they won’t know won’t hurt them. Also, they don’t know the full situation” But even if they don’t, I wish they trusted you “You’re not a disappointment.”

“I never said that…” she murmured.

The hero shook his head “But you think it”

She didn’t deny nor confirm, so he knew already he was right about his guess. “My priority is you, Mari.”

“No puns? You had that served on a silver plate…” She tried to change lighten up the mood, but there was a sense of defeat so big that she knew it was going to fail “I see… we are serious tonight”

“I’m learning to have better timing” he sheepishly grinned, surprising her. But it was clearly half-hearted, he was uncertain on how to carry on the discourse. 

If it could have brought even a small smile out of her, he would have punned instantly, but he knew that right now it wasn’t a laugh that she needed. At least not before letting out all the rest first.

His hand from the back went further towards the shoulder and finally settled around her arm. Not receiving any hint of opposition, he settled next to her and guided her body against his. 

It took some seconds of feeling his warmth against her skin and going through her body to finally let her head lean on his shoulder. 

She felt exposed and vulnerable, but at the same she felt safe for the first moment after weeks. There, secure in his arms, enough to let the pile of stress leak out from her.

“I guess you already know what happened” He was kind enough to give her space and not pressure into a conversation, but she knew he would inevitably wait for them to address the topic. 

“More or less, rumors flow rather… quickly around your school.”

“Ah… not surprised…” she shrugged, then went into a thinking status for a bit, insecurity filling her voice “You’re here thought”

“Of course I am” he instead confirmed with such assurance, like if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

She bit her lip, appreciating his words but waiting for the inevitable disappointment he would feel towards her in knowing more “You can believe them, it happened for real…”

“What I believe, Marinette, is you. I won’t say it was… the best way to react, but I don’t blame you either. You’re human and I may don’t know much of what’s going on,-” Oh boy, he knew more than he let on “-but I know you Marinette. You don’t act like that with no reasons and there is nothing that could make me ever disappointed in you”

She didn’t answer, channeling her energies to keep the urge to cry deep inside her instead of using them to speak. It was like he knew exactly what to say and this didn’t help her to keep fragility on hold.

Because with him she felt like she could be fragile. 

“I know that I wasn’t able to visit you a lot recently, but I’ve seen you suffering more and more all along. I don’t want that for you”

“I won’t get akumatized…” she assured, even if more than something she was convinced about, it was something she couldn’t allow herself.

“I don’t care about that! I care about you!” he scolded gently. 

If he had to be honest, her being akumatized always worried him because he knew for sure that if that ever happened, Chat Noir and Ladybug could easily be defeated. Marinette would make a very dangerous and powerful akuma because she was incredibly resourceful and smart. She defeated an akuma by herself handling multiple Miraculous while him and Ladybug were both taken out of commission. 

Also, he didn’t know if he would have the will to fight against her. He probably would be a useless burder, not being able to lay a finger on his Princess.

But in this case it wasn’t his priority and he could protect her. If an akuma came, he would Cataclysm it. For her, he would. 

Now all he cared about was easing her turmoil and giving her some peace.

She nuzzled into his shoulder trying to fight the temptation to tear up, but also to hide a bit from his view “It doesn’t matter…”

“It does, it matters to me!” Chat Noir gave her shoulder a light squeeze. “Even more if it’s hurting you, Mari. And I’m saying this as someone who has the exact same wrong mindset! I know how it feels to have people telling you that you’re overreacting, that your feelings don’t matter or they are misplaced and convincing yourself it’s true. I know how it feels to need to bottle everything up because you need to give a good example, because you need to keep alive the vision others have of you…”

Her eyes widened as she right away worried about his words “...I-I’m sorry… you-” 

But figures, he knew she would do that. It was just who Marinette was; someone who worried about the other before herself. “I’m more sorry you ended up feeling it too. This is not about me right now, but maybe we can improve together. If there is anyone I trust with myself… is you! Do you trust me with yourself too?”

She took a few seconds to let his words sink because he spoke them so sincerely and easily that it left her breathless.
He trusted her so blindly both as Ladybug and Marinette, even not knowing they were the one and the same. Even now that he was sharing such a personal part of himself with someone like her… a common, troubled and pitiful civilian.

He was always the one who trusted her unconditionally, even when everyone lost faith in her, even herself. 

She didn’t need to answer verbally, to tell he was the only one she trusted with herself at the moment or any. 

Marinette felt tears leaking out her eyes and her hands rose frantically to wipe them away but her already vain attempt was stopped by Chat, whom took delicately her wrists and dragged them to his chest, stroking with his thumbs the cold palms of her hands and letting her feel his comforting purr. “Let it out”

That stupid cat.

That lovely cat.

She kept sobbing, slowly crawling between his legs and pressing herself against him as if he was her only lifeline. There, in his hold, she felt like nothing could reach her and harm her. Not even her own grief. 

She didn’t care how this moment gave her dejavus of Chat comforting her after Master Fu’s death, caused by her mistake. And she didn’t worry if he could perceive the similarity too and connect the dots.

She cried over her mistakes, over her failures… over her burdens and over her losses. Over the pain and the stress…

Deep inside she despised herself for making use of Chat like that, for always being the one falling apart just to leave him at picking up the pieces and helping her put them in their place. For never being the opposite way.

She wanted to be his pillar too.

Well, he said they would work on it together from now on… even if it would be as Chat and Marinette, she could pay him back someday.

For a long while no words were spoken, all to be said was left at her cries, which then morphed into wonky phrases and ended up with low murmurs. 

Then and there, in that way, she spilled a big part of what she was feeling for the entire situation. She didn’t go into details or explained what happened, the precise accidents Lila caused or what they talked about when she was cornered. 

But for the moment, it was already a big thing to know about her feelings and let her cry it all out. The details, he could find out as Adrien, if she let him. Or as Chat later. 

Anything and any way she needed.

It hurted when she spoke about her loneliness, about her fear of disappointing her cared ones, about the pressure of failure and the terror of not being able to trust anyone anymore with herself. It hurted seeing her resignation over the future she desired, the one he thought Marinette deserved. It hurted hearing about how she didn’t believe in anything good for her life anymore, how sure she was that she would never be again the Marinette others wanted her to be.

He didn’t understand a big part of what she said, why she spoke about those things and what led her to believe them, but he understood the feelings she shared. All he knew was that she needed to let it out without someone making less of it, but also without saying everything would be bright and fine, because he knew well it would be a lie. Life didn’t work like that. People would expect things, even people who loved you. Life could turn and twist and take things away. Some burdens would be thrown at you and you’d have to carry them until the very end.

And no matter how disbelieving it was for him to think that someone like Marinette would be treated like that, how unfair he considered it. She was feeling those things like him and she could as well in the future.  

He shared the same fears and since she felt them too now, they were very valid for him. And he knew the only thing to do was reassuring her of the wonderful person she was and how he would be there any way she needed.

It was the one thing he was sure about the most at the moment. He would give her anything and everything to make her smile, to ease that pain and live the happiest future possible.

The bluenette let him lull her with his touches and purrs, until she was calm enough and relaxed between his arms.

They stayed like that for a while, not sure about how much time passed. Maybe even an hour, as the moon rose even more above their heads. 

Once Chat was sure she regained some tranquility, he dared to ask “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to or feel up to, but… I heard today everything happened because of a movie”

“It did” she nodded, not even wondering how he was aware of things so well to know the particulars.

“And its main actress?”

“It did…” her brows furrowed at the reminder.

“Aside from the lying, was it an important movie for you?” He knew it wouldn’t be any movie if she reacted like that.

“Kinda, but it is because it’s important for someone… I care about”

Chat’s ears perked up at that, but he knew better than to be surprised at her statement. Always, constantly, she managed to amaze him with her compassion. She got in trouble for something that didn’t even concern her directly “Hmm?”

“Solitude…”

His head snapped down, trying to seek out her eyes. The air suddenly became chill against his magical suit. 

Once the name was out it wasn’t hard to figure out whom she was talking about. Conflicting feelings started squirming his gut.

“I never got to finish the movie, so it’s not like I hold some particular preference for it myself, but it led to some chaotic and good memories I have about my friend Adrien. He really wanted to see it because that actress starred in it. His mother starred in it”

Chat’s breath was held in his chest. Any feeling of pleasure about mattering so much as a civilian to her was crushed by the knowledge of being one of the causes of her problems.

“That’s why I lost it when Lila said out of nowhere that she was close to the actress and was in contact with her constantly. In contact with Adrien’s mother who passed away a year ago…” Marinette’s fists tightened furiously, her nails digging into her own skin “She twisted and used Mrs. Agreste's image for her own pleasure. I don’t care if she didn’t know about it, it was disgusting, vile and horrendous. I should be surprised I acted like that, but I am more that I just slapped her. I never felt so angry in my whole life at someone”

Not hearing a single sound from him she continued “I know it sounds bad but I would redo that again forever over staying silent and let her ruin Adrien’s mother's precious memory. Doing nothing to save my reputation? There’s nothing that would disgust me more. Not if I could act on it. And it’s something I can’t bring myself to apologize for sincerely. I will never apologize for stopping her from insulting Adrien and his mother’s memory”

Chat’s brain went on halt. She was humiliated in front of her class, the teachers, her parents… for standing up for his family. His friend lost her reputation, her friendships, her parents’ last drops of trust… she got suspended and punished all because she tried to defend his honor and suffered for his own loss. 

He wanted to throw up. Not because he wasn’t grateful, but because after all he’s failed in her regards, she still had his back. Even at her lowest, she stood strong with her wounds and carried a piece of him in her heart. Enough to suffer for him and risk everything. 

“Mari…” His voice came out wonky and she probably didn’t notice because she continued speaking.

“I’m glad Adrien wasn’t there. Sure, he could have easily busted all her lies but at which cost? He doesn’t deserve to hear those things, to have such atrocious lies spat on his face. He doesn’t deserve someone to use his mother like that.” Her bangs jumped up and down at her head shaking “No, I can’t allow that, no matter how disappointed he’s going to be in me for reacting like that-”

“Wait he doesn’t-” I would never be disappointed in you, much less for taking my defense or my mother’s.

“For not taking the high road-”

“Mari-” I don’t care about that stupid, wrong, piece of advice I gave you and hurt you with.

“No threat from Lila could make me blame him”

“Wait, she did wh-?” Threat?!

“I would never blame him for choosing to not pick sides. He doesn’t owe me anything, he deserves to be serene and happy a-and I only bring misfortune-”

Chat threw his arms around her, throwing his torso all over her and lowering his head in the crook of her neck. She halted at that action, the hug was strong but it didn’t hurt. She felt a bit restrained but not caged.

He let out a shaky breath, with firmness in his tone but also warmth “The thing you bring is miracles. You blessed my life by sheltering this stray and offering me your friendship. You did it with everyone around in your life, even if they didn’t notice it enough… and you did it with Adrien. If what you said to me is any indication, I’m sure that he is aware of how lucky his life is with you in it”

She wore a small pout, but didn’t contradict him, not really having the strength to enter such a debate and, much to her shame, appreciating the compliments of someone who could boost her self-confidence with her recent lack of it. 

The one lucky to have those two boys in life was her. 

Marinette was Ladybug; strong, confident, brave… but the last months didn’t really help keeping that image in her mind and convictions in her heart. Even the strongest mountain could crumble if its base was full of holes.

A yawn, followed by scratching her eye tiredly and leaning once again into his chest, signaled to Chat Noir that the time for conversations was soon to be over. 

As if she read his mind, she unconsciously wrapped her arms around his frame. It was absurd to say, but she felt more comfortable there on the floor of her balcony, leaning on his muscular chest, than in her fluffy bed.
Warmer into his touch, while cold wind blew against her skin, instead of under her covers.

“I won’t force you to do anything but… promise me you will try to tell Adrien about it? Or that you will consider?” Before she could protest he continued “I know you don’t want to add another burden on him, but I don’t think he would see it like that”

“Of course he wouldn’t” she let out a shaky laugh, perfectly aware Adrien was too kind hearted for that.

Chat let a small smile blossom on his face, as he fought back the voices in his brain screaming for the discoveries he made. There was no time to freak out, he could do it later when he would be at the mansion. Besides, if he got through her as Adrien, he knew more details would come out and he wouldn’t be pleased at all.

And he needed to make it work. Because as much as he could try to be there for her as Chat, she needed someone in her everyday life to look out for her. Someone that could get involved, someone that could help her find stability in their civilian clothes. 

“Give him a chance to prove it to you. I know it’s hard and scary, but I assure you it will be alright. And if he does something wrong I can still beat him for you”

She snickered again, this time for real and his ears couldn’t be more pleased at the sound. “P-Please don’t! But thank you… for everything really”

“Thank you ” he purred in his thoughts. “For everything.”

…

“Kid?”

“If I was going to break the deal with Lila already, now I’ll make her regret ever getting into Marinette’s life.”

“Hell yeah!” Plagg pumped his fist into the air “Bring some chaos on!”

She was early. 

Adrien wanted to be surprised, but he couldn’t give space to positive feelings. Not yet, until he fixed the issue.

Not until she was sitting alone at the back of the classroom and bearing the pain of loneliness. No one was there yet, but he was sure his classmates’ arrival wouldn’t change the new seating arrangement his friend put herself into.

The only thing he was glad about, was to be able to talk with her with no one to interrupt. He even organized to go pick her up before school to assure them a chance to talk.

He still felt a bit sick for how surprised her parents were to see him there asking about their daughter. As if they were way too used to the fact that no one would seek for their daughter.

But there was no time to dwell on that. 

He approached her seat and this time she heard him approaching, unlike the night of her suspension when he visited as Chat. The bluenette’s head rose in his direction but snapped in turning only when her eyes recognised him. 

Adrien stopped and for a moment they just kept looking at each other in silence. Marinette’s cheeks didn’t turn pink, albeit it was a rare occurrence in the last period, and her nervous expression was nowhere similar to the one she usually wore in the first months of their friendship.

The more they bonded, the less she stammered and freaked out. But at least in those moments, for him, seeing her like that was quite adorable. At times frustrating but nonetheless extremely adorable.

Her expression right now wasn’t. It seemed she wanted to jump out of the window as long as she could escape, but didn’t only so she wouldn’t hurt him. 

The guy inhaled and continued his walk, reaching her spot and sitting down next to her. The bench was large enough so that they could keep some distance and walking on eggshells as he was, it resulted for the best. 

He didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than she already was, only Chat was allowed to take specific liberties at that moment.

But he would keep his promise to help her at all costs.

“Hey.”

“Hey…”

“I-I… it’s good to see you back” He started. Good, that was the truth so it was a good starting point. 

Her eyes tried to avoid getting caught in his, but she didn’t deny him an answer “T-Thanks…” 

“How are you doing?” he tried again sweating cold. It was to be expected that the conversation wouldn’t flow well, at least in the first moment, but apparently nothing prepared him enough. 

“I-I-” She tried to lie.

But Adrien added right away “Honest answer is good also”

Marinette gulped. She promised Chat she would at least try, so it had to be done. There was no use being nasty towards Adrien, he still didn’t deserve her being unkind to him only because of her personal discomfort. “I’m not sure, for now better than last week. But I won’t know for sure until the school day officially starts”

“Hmm” He nodded, looking down into his lap. He was glad she answered honestly, it must have been a good sign at least? “How did you arrive early? You’re usually barging in last second”

“I’m learning to have a better timing?” She tried clumsily to quote Chat Noir’s words from their last conversation. 

Adrien caught the reference, but limited himself to raise an eyebrow.

Marinette tried to change the approach “You can’t sleep in if you don’t sleep at all, can you?” Ok, maybe it wasn’t as fun as her brain thought before speaking it. Gosh, Chat was much better than her at easing the tension. 

Adrien was kind enough to not show if he was creeped out. If anything, his nose scrunched expressed worry but also understanding “I hope you didn’t overwork yourself too much” He cursed under his breath remembering that if she did it wasn’t even her fault. Her assignments have been doubled after the suspension and she probably would have avoided them gladly “If you need help I could help you out” He tried to fix.

A small smile formed on her lips but he knew too well to hope she would just accept that easily “No thanks, but you’re busy enough with your schedule, I wouldn’t want to drag you down and make you fall behind”

“I offered because I know I can do it. You have a lot of things on your shoulders, between being class-representative, homework and other things… let me lend you a hand-”

“I said no thanks .” she hissed but right away regretted it, covering her mouth mortified. He seemed taken aback a little but not totally unprepared, and she didn’t know if it was a good sign he expected her outburst or not. 

Her hands reached the forehead as she leaned on her elbows on the desk. She was the worst.

Adrien right away placed an and on her shoulder, with a bit of hesitation but comfortingly “Hey, it’s okay…”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry, I understand”

For a moment more neither spoke. One limited himself to avoid staring at the friend and putting her pressure, yet not detaching his hand from its position. The other trying instead to take some breaths and face the fact that they were bound to talk more and aside from a fortuite akuma, nothing would make her avoid it.

“I… am not the class representative. Not anymore” She decided to say, clearing up one of the affirmations he addressed earlier. 

That surprised him, shock written on his face. Nino didn’t tell him, nor Marinette made any comment related to such a thing during their talk last week. 

The unspoken question “Why” hung on their heads, even if he didn’t speak.

She still answered, expecting what he wanted to ask “I resigned. It was… for the best” She grimaced at her own words, like they didn’t belong to her and he noticed right away. 

“They made you resign…”

She shrugged “I don’t blame them, I’m in no conditions to fill that position anymore”

“You surely have a lot of things on your shoulders and no one would blame you for stepping back for your own health and comfort. But I still think no one fits that role better than you” He answered firmly, squeezing his hold onto her shoulder. 

“Thanks… but it’s not going to change the reality”

Sighing, the blond turned more towards her and taking both her hands in his, trying not to startle her “Listen Mari, I know that you probably don’t feel like talking to me and I don’t blame you, I’ve not been a good friend to you recently-”

“N-No wait y-you didn’t-” She tried to deny, alarmed, but he gently shushed her.

“I won’t pressure you to open up if you don’t trust me, but I want to do better. I want to be there for you, it doesn’t matter what the others will think” He assured with a smile “Neither I care if they will judge my choice” 

“Adrien-”

“I made a promise some time ago. I told you I would be by your side and it’s time to live up to those words. I should have done it earlier and better, but I didn’t lie about my intentions. To be there for the ones I care about, it’s my biggest goal” He squeezed her hand a bit more, trying to show how determined he was “This is why, now you’ll be able to get rid of me only if it’s what you genuinely want”

Marinette hated how her heart was fluttering, how another person was trying to make her cry so hard. There was no mistake in how sincere his words were, she could perceive it. 

“I know Lila has been up to many things and I know you also have other worries. You don’t need to tell me about them all, only the things you feel comfortable sharing! And you can do it in due time, when you’re ready. But I don’t want to lose you Marinette, you’re not someone replaceable in my life and I’d like to prove it to you if you’re up to it. Are you?” He questioned tilting a bit his head like a puppy “And honestly, not just to please me”

She didn’t expect at all things to take this turn. It almost seemed like… he was aware of more than he let on, like he came to her with a clear goal in mind. Many doubts pervaded her mind, but two things she was sure about; she wanted Adrien in her life still and she promised to give it a try to Chat. 

Probably this would end up hurting her in the long run, her recent luck spoke loudly about that, but she wanted to believe her two friends. So, she ended up nodding as convinced as possible.

Adrien let out a giddly breath, it was a big step forward “Thank you Marinette. And… thank you also for… what you’ve done”

“Hm?” This time it was her turn to tilt her head, letting her soft front bangs bounce on her face and fall to the side. Adrien resisted the urge to gush on how adorable that was. 

He didn’t want to see that expression change, to wipe that hint of smile adorning her lips, but he needed to be honest. He owed her as much sincerity and gratefulness “About defending my mother’s name”

And that made her indeed freeze, her hands fighting the urge to escape his hold, take all her things and just run. 

“Thank you for caring so much” he tried to ease her worries “No one stood up for me like that, ever. The fact alone that you remembered I cared about that movie and that you risked your reputation as a student and person just to stop Lila’s crap… I can’t be grateful enough”

She seemed to calm down hearing those words, but didn’t look totally sure. He wasn’t angry she took out her anger at Lila? That she lost control?

As if reading her thoughts, he went on “Nothing that happened is your fault, it’s Lila’s. I know I told you in the past that taking the high road was the best choice, but that was when I thought she was saying harmless lies to gain attention and find some friends. You know, to fit in. I related to that feeling and I always wanted to believe in second chances, so I thought soon or later she would expose herself or stop lying. I was teached to treat these things like rumors from tabloids and even if it doesn’t change I made a mistake, I now realize things don’t work like that”

“I understand, you just wanted to help…” Marinette answered, pulling up an understanding smile. A sad one, but sincere.

“Of course I wanted to, but I still want you to know that I would have never, ever, suggested that if I knew about how harmful she was. I said it wouldn’t hurt anyone, but in the end you were. You paid it all” he mumbled with frustration towards himself. “So, for that same reason, I wish to know… what she has done to you”

“You want to what?” Marinette tensed a bit. He wanted her to spill everything? She didn’t want to rub salt in his wound! Nor did she know if she was ready to talk about all Lila has done to her. Not even Chat was aware and she literally spilled her entire feelings to him. Was she really able, after Adrien had been so supporting, to throw at him months of bullying for which he would surely feel guilty?

Her friend scratched the back of his head with one hand, still keeping his hold with the other on her own. “I know it’s a lot to ask and as I said, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I will support you no matter what, even if I have to go blind with it, but I also would like to be prepared for what to do. All that is happening… I want to help you fix it. And I want to be more open to you, to not give you any reason to doubt my intentions”

“I don’t doubt you Adrien, it’s just that…”

“If you thought putting distance between us would be the best choice there must have been something I did wrong, among the high road bullshit”

His language was shocking for both of them, he was clearly passionate about the topic.

“A-Adrien!” she stammered almost scandalized at his use of bad words and he held his laughter. Her face was priceless and he couldn’t help but be amused at what she focused on about his discourse. 

With a dumb grin he continued “Sorry, but as I said… I tried to help you last time and it resulted in bad advice because I didn’t know how things were. Now I’d like to know, so I can help and stand by your side properly.”

“...” Her sight was directed elsewhere, as if she was thinking on what to do. From his point of view, there was reluctance and his spirits dropped. He knew he said he would stand with her blindly, but he still hoped…

Adrien gave her hands one last squeeze, assuring her it was fine and proceeded to turn ahead and take his things from the bag, to prepare for the lesson. He wouldn’t pressure her, if time was what she needed, he would just protect her at his best until she felt secure enough to confide in him.

“Lila threatened me the first day she came back”

His head turned fast in her direction, mouth slightly open. 

“I knew about her lies because I saw her stealing your book about heroes, the one that got you in trouble with your father back then. I followed you two hoping to recover it and help, but then Ladybug showed up and called Lila out. Since then, I refused to believe anything she said” she explained, recalling those memories was both painful and nostalgic. Those were bad moments, but things used to be better. “Well, aside that I know Jagged Stone and Clara personally, so I knew she was lying about that.”

He frowned, thinking at how troubling Lila had been even at the start. More than he thought. “Wait, but the book-”

“I took it from a trash can she threw it into, cleaned it up and brought it back to your father” She explained softly.

“I don’t understand… father has never mentioned it to me and I’m surprised he even let Lila close as his muse if he knew she stole the book…”

“Well, that’s because he doesn’t know” She frantically played with her fingers. “I… might have told him I found it casually and borrowed it for curiosity. You know, artistic inspiration. And I might have told him to not tell you…”

His mouth fell open “Marinette!!” it wasn’t really a scolding tone, he was just shocked and worried about the consequences it could have led, and incredulous at how far back she already started looking out for him. 

“Hey, in my defense, it was the only way to avoid your father thinking you lost it and letting you back in school! He wouldn’t believe it if I said a random girl he didn’t know took it to gain attention, it would seem a bad excuse” her petite hands shot up.

“I can’t believe how much trouble you went through since the very start for me…” 

“Oh no, no, it’s okay! It didn’t really lead to any major consequence for me, aside from knowing about Lila’s true intentions, which is for the best” Yes, she may have had to deal with hell because of that, but could she really regret knowing the truth? She’d rather have to bear all this than helping the liar manipulating people or participating in her nasty actions.

“Hmm…”

Marinette cleared her voice, going back to the topic to avoid losing the guts to speak of everything. “So, I knew everything and I confronted Lila because I hate the idea of her manipulating my friends. Lies to appear better herself are one thing, making promises that can lead to troubles in our classmates’ careers is another pair of sleeves.” 

If only that didn’t turn against her “She wasn’t happy at all once she was sure I wouldn’t believe her, so she proposed to me to stand by her side. I refused, because I would never help out hurting people and she proceeded with a war declaration; if I didn’t back away, she would turn everyone against me and take away someone I care about…”

She took a quick pause, letting her own words sink in and how in the end Lila fulfilled her main goal, or at least a big part of it now that Adrien seemed to want to stick with Marinette. Not all was lost, but she still succeeded in half of her intent.

“I didn’t try to expose her anymore after your suggestion. I didn’t want to disappoint you mainly, but I was also confident in my friendships and that they wouldn’t break because of her. I guess… it’s clear now that I was wrong about that” voice becoming a faint whisper, but loud enough for him to understand. 

“She threatened you…” He repeated with a rather dangerous ring to his voice, but not directed at her. He was feeling a burning primal and ferocious energy, and he was sure he would need a lot of self-control to not attack Lila at sight. Somehow, he could feel the same aura from Plagg, a sign that their protective cat side was taking over. 

Marinette took his hands in hers again, placating his savage instincts a bit. “Yeah” She couldn’t deny the truth, but she didn’t want him to end up in her same position. She felt familiarity in his eyes, in that expression of fury. It had almost something… territorial about them. 

So, never leaving that hold, she went on explaining all that happened in time, from the first apparent misunderstanding between their friends, to the accidents that led her to be isolated and framed on various occasions… until she lost everybody’s trust and crumbled from stress.

Overall, he got an almost full picture. While she didn’t talk much about her emotions and internal turmoil, she confessed most of that to Chat, to whom she didn’t however tell the details of the events. She trusted his alter ego with her feelings, and trusted Adrien with the truth. Putting everything together, he considered it a huge step forward.

“I understand… I see now. I’m really, really sorry you had to deal with all of that”

“It’s okay, I’m just… glad you believe me”

“Of course I do” He assured “But I don’t understand… Why did you try to… push me away before today? I know my approach to the situation wasn’t the best but I thought we were getting closer as friends, that things between us were fine…”

The spotted heroine’s civilian alter ego bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t really want to go over that particular event because it wasn’t an issue that regarded only their friendship. If he ever discovered her identity, he would also discover that the event made her commit a tremendous mistake, that cost her mentor’s life and put at risk the whole Paris. 

Still, she knew it was needed to try to explain as much as possible. At least if she really wanted to make their friendship work strongly “I can’t go into details…”

“It’s okay, what you feel up to”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Yes.”

“It might be stupid”

“If it made you feel that way it isn’t”

“I don’t want to hurt you with assumptions”

“It will be nowhere close to what you’ve passed. I want to be there Mari” The guy reassured, now taking over the hold onto her hands and enclosing them in his warm palms. 

“I-I… that day I was around the Seine and I saw you and Lila hugging” 

Oh? OH.

She fought back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. The memory still ate her liver. “You were getting busier and I don’t blame it on you, but Lila figured I would be vulnerable enough and started pressuring me. Putting ideas in my head I guess, with no way for me to be tranquilized. So when I saw you two hugging I just… felt like she achieved all she desired. Like if I screwed up already everything with you and I drove you away”

She felt a strong pull from their hands and her body found itself crashed against Adrien’s in an embrace. Marinette felt absolutely startled, because even when she learnt about how physical he was when relaxed with people he felt safe around, and how much he craved it in those cases, they never hugged in such a… intimate way. All their hugs have been soft, this was particularly emotional, heartfelt. There was almost a desperate nature to it. 

Suddenly the girl felt herself in a familiar place between his arms, like if she belonged. It wasn’t the first time, a similar feeling occurred to her already in a pair of different arms. It was that very same familiarity that let her relax into his hold and return the embrace. 

“I’m so, so, so sorry Marinette. I swear, Lila was the one who hugged me to make a scene because of our deal”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain anything.”

“No, I have to explain, I need you to know that you could never drive me away, nor could she ever drive me closer to her.” He tightened his grip around her, glad to feel the texture of her clothes under his fingers, to feel her soft breath penetrating his clothes and warming his chest… all sensations that he couldn’t enjoy while wearing his superhero suit. 

He could feel her face pulling up a smile “I know, I believe you. I told you it was silly”

“No, it wasn’t”

“I thought only about myself. I should have reminded that Lila could be as much a trouble for you as it is for me” Suddenly her eyes widened as she hesitantly asked “Wait, what do you mean with deal ?”

There it was, he just stepped on his own feet.

She sighed into his shirt “I won’t pressure you to talk either, but since you asked me to be honest with you and open up, promising to do the same, I would like to know your side of things”

Adrien wasn’t sure to be ready to share about his deal with Lila, he didn’t want Marinette to further blame herself for his own choices when they just reached an improvement. But this was perhaps another test of trust.

It was so easy to believe her and support her to open up, now he had to take the real definitive step by returning the same trust with his feelings. 

It took a whole higher level of courage he wasn’t sure to have. But he did trust her with himself, so he had to demonstrate it. It was only fair to her. 

Marinette probably hadn’t been ready either to share all the experiences from Lila’s bullying, yet she took the leap of faith towards him. 

It was only right he reciprocated.

“I made a deal with her, around the time I noticed she was targeting you”

Marinette wanted to break off from the hug and look him in the eyes, almost to verify if his words were true and why on earth he would do something like that, afraid to receive the answer she expected. 

But she didn’t, letting him sink more into their hug, as he gripped her shirt between his fingers “I would ignore her lies and as if we were friends, as long as she left you alone and stopped her harassment. My father was already dead set on collaborating with her, so I didn’t think refusing to work with her would be any help, if it was even possible.”

Her breath got caught up in her throat “A-Adrien… you made a deal with the devil” she too grabbed his shirt between her hands and trembled into his hold. 

Did he really sacrifice every chance of fighting for his own comfort only to protect her? 

He cracked up a laugh “Yeah… and I hated every second of it, but for you it was worth the try…” his hand rose to her dark locks, massaging them “I’m just sorry it ended up in leaving you more alone than ever and giving her the perfect chance to hurt. I thought I was saving you but I might as well fed you to the lion”

Marinette shook her head firmly, this time taking some space to grab both sides of his head in her hands and make him look at her directly “You were just trying to look out for me.” She couldn’t still phantom how much he was willing to give up for her. His dignity, his body comfort, the small bits of freedom his father allowed… even his right to feel safe and protected.

How could she have doubted him? 

She had to thank Chat next time he visited. Squeeze that kitty cat as if there was no tomorrow.

“I guess we both tried to look out for each other by taking extreme measures and making a mess…”

“When we should have just talked from the start”

“Yeah… We have some kind of hero complex I guess…” 

Wasn’t that true…

Both giggled nervously, trying to let the oddity of that very true statement pass. 

Adrien was the first to break out of it “I know things right now are difficult and it might be hard to go back at the norm, some things might never be recovered” He hated he had to be so honest, but to believe in good things, you also need to be aware of what can be salvaged and what not. He wouldn’t make empty promises, no more of that “But I swear I’ll be by your side and we’ll make the best out of what we can.”

He held out a fist in front of her naturally, not really thinking it through until he was awkwardly waiting for her response.
They both giggled as she raised her own hand “Only if you’ll let me do the same for you”  

“It’s a deal” he nodded with a smile.

“Yeah" she smiled back, holding back a laugh "Hopefully a better one than the last you’ve made”

“There’s no doubt about that” he smirked with confidence "That was a devil, here it's my Everyday Ladybug "

Her smile grew softer, finally wearing a light pink blush on her cheeks, one that Adrien noticed after it missed for so long “Yeah… I still think it's a bit of a stretch, but if I am an Everyday Ladybug I'll need an Everyday Chat Noir ." She already had her Kitty and no one would take his place in her life, both as heroine and civilian, but perhaps she could use an Everyday Chat Noir in her everyday life. "Up for the job?"

Who else could she wish for that role if not the guy in front of her?

"Always" he connected their fists.

It was seeing that smile, that glimpse of light in her eyes just above those dark circles of exhaustion, hearing that tired but natural laugh from her voice… 

It was feeling her a bit more alive that made him feel the same in turn.

"I warn you, I only pay in edible substance"

"I'll serve for life if those are the conditions"

Feeling some of her warmth again was all worthier than any payment for such a natural and obvious duty he had in her regards.

Somehow, he felt he could soon help his favorite bug too.

…

They didn't know at every step forward, they would fall further into the mud.