Wonky Time Adventures Featuring An Unwilling Sauce Gay
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Or the one where Sasuke Uchiha says fuck it and becomes a romance author by flavouredice
Fandoms: Naruto
20 Jun 2025
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Sasuke has long since lost count how many lives he has lived. He would like to close his eyes and to never open them again, but barring that, he would like to enjoy his extended vacation. In this life, he will travel, and he will write. And so help him, he won’t have to do anything else.
Now if only being a romance author would be so easy.Series
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'There’s no two ways about it,' Sasuke thinks when he cracks his right eye open. His left stubbornly refuses to budge. The inn, which could have been generously described as dilapidated when he first walked in, is now a wreckage among smoldering rubble, barely recognizable. And there is no blonde Uzumaki yelling his ear off about returning to Konoha, and there is no old man in white robes claiming to be the Sage of the Six Paths. On the periphery of his sensory vision, poor as it is, Sasuke can feel the slow rousing alarm of a group of maybe chuunin level shinobi. 'I truly have drawn the ire of Bishamonten.'
This is the story of Sasuke Uchiha, a shinobi out of time and out of place. Against his will he has been drawn back into the orbit of Konoha, but one that is very different from that in which he grew. His ability to return to where and when he was apparently rests in the hands of fiction and legends, and for some cursed reason they have decided that he has not yet paid his pound of flesh.
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Things Sasuke desperately wants to know:
- Why is he in an endless desert with two suns?
- Where, in this vast sandy hellscape, is Sarada? Is there a no-child-left-in-another-dimension policy he can invoke on this godforsaken planet?
- And to that bright blond in the eye searing red coat: does he know anyone named "Naruto" by any chance?
Things Sasuke undoubtedly knows for sure:
The short and not-so-sweet of it: Sasuke's not in Konoha anymore. The desert? Infinite. The machines? Straight out of one of Kakshi's weird art nouveau sci-fi post-apocalyptic romances that he swears by. The new blonde in his life? Suspiciously Naruto-esque. The short spunky woman with dark hair and even darker eyes? Sasuke laments the argument he's going to have to have with Orochimaru again about how they can't use Uchiha genes in unsanctioned cloning experiments. Now if only he could use Kamui with his Mangekyou Sharingan.
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