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    “Sometimes, I wish he was a worse person,” Ilya admits one night, while he and Yuna are doing the dishes. Shane and Ilya had come over for chicken parmesan, and it had been a lovely dinner, right up until David, clearing the plates, mentioned that he had met a guy at the store the other day who was a big fan of Shane’s, had a kid who idolized him.

    David asked if Shane could sign a piece of merchandise for him, maybe record a video. Shane said yes, because he had a rule, about doing things for child fans. Now, Shane was off shooting a video while Ilya did the dishes, and Ilya already knew the way it would require Shane to drag his public face up from the depths of his stomach, the work it would take him to shed it afterwards, the way it would taint this evening.

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    26 Apr 2026

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    Casey Williams @casey_williams - October 1, 2018
    Slowing Down Life and Speeding Up Hockey - My one-on-one with Ottawa’s newest center, Ilya Rozanov. [LINK]

    --

    The Ottawa Centaurs from 2016 to 2021 as told through the tweets of their resident beat reporter.

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    06 Feb 2026

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

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    05 Feb 2026

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    Harry was supposed to be good at this.

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    28 Oct 2020

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    "So you're a dyke now," Pansy said after they'd settled at a table far from the pounding noise, sipping on a mai tai.

    Hermione winced. "Don't use that word."

    "It seems you're never quite done policing what I can and can't say," Pansy said.

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    11 Jan 2021