Balluna
Fandoms
- Original Work (3)
- No Fandom (3)
- Formula 1 RPF (2)
- Marvel Cinematic Universe (1)
- Iron Man (Movies) (1)
Recent works
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Summary
I drift back;
Into your arms even though I haven't met you yet and never will, oh dear future love of mine. Be more patient than I am with you.Today and always I'll wait, but you'll never arrive,
oh dear person I strive to love and hug and kiss.Slam Poetry about my struggeling with longing for love, yet never receiving it (mostly meant in a romantic way)
or
the poet is very lonely and wanted to express this
UPDATED: second chapter includes a sequel-poem:
"I think I might want to whisper your name"Oh, dear unknown love of mine, I have a thing to say. I think I might want to whisper your name
Would chocolate sticks turn to nothing between the both of us; would we only try at night, in the dark, hiding ourselves from each other?
Series
- Part 1 of Poems My Brain Has Fabricated
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I don't feel so good either, now you're just a memory by Balluna
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies)
30 May 2025
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Summary
Tony wants to forget his pains – most of the time.
The world had forced him to move on after years and years, but how can you deal with losing a kid that never was yours to keep in the first place?
"[...] Tony had thought of naming him after Peter. As horrible as it sounds, he is happy Pepper had vehemently protested his idea. He doesn’t know if he could’ve handled losing Peter twice."
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After Peter got dusted, Tony struggles. Him and Pepper try for a baby, and Tony just wishes to forget.
- a story leading with trauma, and ending with more of it. -
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Summary
The girl turns to Oscar and gives him a hug. All the while Logan is left to stand there, arm extended to return the phone with sweaty palms, praying for the interaction to end. A twing in his heart echos in the emptiness of it.
[...]
And then Oscar wins his first ever Formula 1 Grand Prix, leaving Logan behind in the dusts of P19.
He finds himself mourning as he stands with shaking legs and looks over at his best friend hugging his team.
[...]
pause, then Alex talks again:
"I think I'll need to show you some of those Lance-Fernando edits"Logan can't help but compare himself to Oscar, over and over again. He struggles with doubts about belonging, self-worth and trusting Alex in the truth; that it'll all be fine eventually.
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4x Logan feels like the most hated driver,
4x Logan feels welcomed,
1x someone else is the most hated -
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Summary
"Would someone come by with a knife – daring to stab the broken teen through his chest – he would probably scare them away with the state he was in.
Hands shaking harsher than a ride along an uneven country road strewn with deep potholes.
They'd be scared of what could possibly be going on in this man's head – a darkness clouding the Dutchman's mind, only rivalled by a black hole's nothingness.
It was just him, all alone, leaned against an old car, watching the stars as he wished for another one's life.
[...]
He dreamed of a world where they'd at least understand where his recklessness originated."or
Max gets once again abandoned on a highway, doesn't cope well with the newly acquired trauma and learns that somebody does care -
One Day I'll Let Depression Win; Not Today, Not Tomorrow, But Maybe Yesterday by Balluna
Fandoms: No Fandom, Original Work
18 Dec 2023
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Summary
One day I'll let depression win;
Not today, not tomorrowI'll wait for sweet death to engulf my worthless body in darkness
I'll wait for it to let my soul roam free
I'll wait for it to pull me out of the weighted vest that pushes me into the earth beneathOne day i'll let depression win;
Not today, not tomorrow
But maybe yesterdayaka poet is just a tiny smidge depressed
Series
- Part 2 of Poems My Brain Has Fabricated
Recent series
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- Words:
- 933
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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you forgot that i love you by huelovescum
Fandoms: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
16 Nov 2025
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Summary
Beomgyu and Taehyun’s love has always been quiet, tender, and fragile—built on small moments and unspoken promises. But even the strongest bonds can strain under the weight of memory, time, and unspoken truths. As misunderstandings grow and the line between reality and perception begins to blur, Beomgyu finds himself facing choices that could unravel everything they’ve ever shared. A story of love, loss, and the fragile threads that hold hearts together, where every memory counts—and every moment could be the last.
Bookmarked by Balluna
20 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
note to self: "re-"read this (only skimmed so far)
! only for severe depressive phase !
- left a comment, page 1
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Summary
Welcome to The Midway, the pamphlet says. Beomgyu tries to read it, but he can’t get his brain to concentrate when there’s a hot guy in front of him. “What’s The Midway?” He asks.
“The halfway point between life and death,” Taehyun answers monotonously. “Also known as Pity Purgatory.”
“Pity Purgatory?”
“Yes.” Taehyun looks away from his computer for a moment to stare Beomgyu in the eyes. “You’re here because you died a premature death that was… undignified.”
“You mean I died because of something stupid.”
“Generally that, yes.”Bookmarked by Balluna
19 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
this is the greatest thing since the invention of port-a-potties
no srsly, I LOVE THIS WITG MY WHOLE HEART 😭😭 it had the perfect length but i still want to see taehyun find out abt the world and all that omg
also this reminds me sm of miracle workers!! i love miracle workers
///SPOILERS!!
Yeonjun was apparently so tired that he missed the trash can earlier, leaving the banana peel laying next to it instead of inside the bin. There’s a very bad idea forming in Beomgyu’s brain.
He hears Kai’s door opening. Beomgyu only has one chance, or Kai’s intense need to clean since he can’t contribute to the household financially is going to ruin everything. He puts on as bright of a smile as he can and starts running towards the younger man. Kai still looks adorably sleepy. Beomgyu hopes he’s not too mad about this later.
“Kai! Good morning! I’m so happy to–“
His foot hits the banana peel. Beomgyu can feel himself falling, and he hears the crack of his head against the counter. Everything is starting to go fuzzy, and then fades to black. The last thing Beomgyu sees is Kai’s panicked face, and then–
Bingo. He’s back in line.
“I have never had a repeat visitor,” Taehyun says, completely out of the blue. “Not once in six centuries have I had someone end up in my office twice.”
“Well, that’s an achievement then, isn't it? Someone has to do it first.” Beomgyu nods his head towards the corner of the room. “I like your weight rack. Nice touch of personality. It’s really– uh, working out for you. You look good.”
“I’m going to review your footage now,” Taehyun says, although Beomgyu can detect a hint of pink starting to reach up over his collar. Is it working, or is he just pissing Taehyun off? He’s acting pretty shamelessly right now, but it’s not like he has infinite time to woo Taehyun unless he can actually convince Taehyun to let him become an intern or something.
There’s a ding from the computer. Taehyun frowns, brows crinkling up cutely as he leans forward to stare at the screen. Nosily, Beomgyu stands up and bends over the desk so that he can see what’s going on.
It looks like Taehyun has gotten some sort of chat message. He frowns some more, pressing on the icon that pops up. Two different windows appear– in one, there’s a chat log. In the other is what looks like a live video feed of Yeonjun.
“I don’t even think this works, this is what dumb high schoolers do,” Beomgyu hears Soobin say doubtfully. Yeonjun shushes him.
“We have to try. He’s dead on the kitchen floor, this is the last resort before we call the cops.”
Beomgyu watches as Yeonjun takes a deep breath. The three of them are sitting on the ground around the coffee table in the living room. Their hands are outstretched, meeting on the planchette of a ouija board. “Beomgyu. Did you make it back up there?”
“You kept the crane,” Beomgyu says. “Why?”
Taehyun is silent for a moment. And then, “No one ever thinks about me up here. They’re all too focused on themselves, how tragic it is that they died early. It is tragic, of course, but– you…”
Taehyun doesn’t finish that sentence. Beomgyu is surprised to see that Taehyun has folded up his hands in his lap and is staring at them solemnly, but his ears are red.
“Are you shy?” Beomgyu asks, heart racing. “Oh my God, you are! Listen, Kang Taehyun, if no one’s ever told you this before you’re a certified hottie and ten out of ten would tap that a–“
“The contract?” Taehyun interrupts, face red now, too. “If you don’t mind, I’m trying to–“
“Beat last century’s quota, I know. Taehyun, seriously. If there’s any way I can like– I don’t know, come visit and take you out on a date or something, I’d be so down. I know I’m dead right now, and you’re– wait, are you dead, too?”
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lovesickness, lying, and losing (equals loving) by the_man_eating_cat
Fandoms: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
13 Mar 2026
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Summary
And Beomgyu had kept it such a good secret until then.
--
beomgyu has hanahaki. in this world, where one's secrets, lies, and strong emotions can manifest into physical symptoms of illnesses referred to as "rare diseases," keeping secrets can be a complicated thing. worse yet when you're a famous idol. worse yet when you're in love with a bandmate.
beomgyu keeps his hanahaki secret for so long that he's dying now, and he might never get better. the only ones who know are the dance teacher, who saw him coughing up the flowers first, a manager, and the rare disease therapist they send him to.his teammates don't know what's wrong with him. they don't know why he and taehyun have been fighting -- if they've been fighting at all. they don't know why he's so distant now.
and whatever it is they do know, choi beomgyu and kang taehyun both won't tell.
(also soobin might've been sick in the past, too. but he's fine now. right?)alternating povs (predominantly beomgyu) fic with altered hanahaki rules. hanahaki (usually) can be cured via confession. hanahaki is one of many rare diseases. also, rare diseases can be contagious.
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I Am Groot by sherlocksmyth
Fandoms: Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Guardians of the Galaxy (Comics)
04 Aug 2014
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Summary
EXTREMELY NSFW fic told from the perspective of Groot.
EDIT 04/05/2021:
Wow. I just found out this is the top fic on AO3. I’m losing my mind. Thank you guys for the kudos & views! If you want you can follow me on Tumblr: @grootficguy -
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Summary
Every night Yuuri leaves their bed to talk to someone on the phone, and Victor doesn't know how much longer he can take it.
Bookmarked by Balluna
27 Dec 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
After a few minutes, he gave up and sat down on the bed. Tears started pouring down his cheeks. His hands pulled at his hair, and his breathing began to mimic a hummingbird’s wings. Victor looked away from the devastated skater in front of him. He unlocked the phone and pressed the contact his partner had spent so many nights talking to. It only rang a moment before someone picked up; the male on the other end had a calm tone. Victor was ready to confront the Yuuri about the unknown caller.
[...]
-> the woman was too stunned to speak (LITERALLY, MY ENTIRE FACE FELL AND I PAUSECHAMPED. (
SPOILER!!!) i really thought it would be his therapist but oh