Cante_Merle



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    June 2018. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are about to execute the first step of their ten-year plan, with Ilya signing with the Ottawa Centaurs when free agency begins on July 1.

    Except Shane accidentally, drunkenly, outs himself to the Montreal Metros at the end of the season. Who are not as okay with it as Shane would have hoped.

    AKA the most eventful Canada Day that the MLH has ever seen.

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    05 Jul 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    01 Jul 2026

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    Something both Shane and Ilya understood about hockey, that many other players didn’t, was that what separated good players from the greats was the ability and willingness to plan and engage in psychological warfare.

    Shane and Ilya went about it in different ways but that didn’t change the fundamental truth: to be the best hockey player was to be ruthless.

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    30 Jun 2026

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    “He’s such a jock,” Cassie says with a chuckle. She puts her glass of dark liquor on the bar so she can fold her arms. When she sees Ilya looking at Bood, she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m talking about your man. That guy is hockey if it was a person. And thank god for that, I’ve seen those Reebok ads.”

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    30 Jun 2026

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    If insanemuppet let's me borrow their words: "hollanov competition to embarrass the other on socmed (shane is winning)"

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    28 Jun 2026