Chlocifer



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    “Well, I guess you got what you wanted from me already,” Hollander continued. “Whatever. Fuck you.”

    “Wait, no, Hollander.” Ilya turned, throwing an arm into Hollander’s path. “That’s not—”

    “No, it’s fine. Stupid of me to expect anything else.” Hollander shook his head, gaze downcast, the barest hint of angry pink tinging his freckled cheeks. “Thanks for making it good, at least.”

    It. His first time.

    Ilya was the worst sort of asshole.

    ---

    In Sochi, Shane isn’t shy about calling out Ilya for ghosting after getting what he wanted. Once they’re safely away from Russia, Ilya forces himself to be honest with Shane about what that first time meant.

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    05 Jul 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    03 Jul 2026

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    “How much longer?”

    “I don’t know, probably like fifteen minutes?” he can hear Shane shrug through the phone.

    “Hmm. . .” Ilya looks at Shane’s location where he’s watching him inch closer to their house on the map. “Phone says thirteen.”

    “Are you watching my location?” Shane laughs from where he’s talking to Ilya through the screen in his car.

    “Mmm, yes. I’ve been so miserable without my husband. I want you home.” he groans. “Now, preferably.” he adds and Shane huffs a laugh.

    (ie. shane is on the way home from a work trip and talks to ilya the whole way home until they're finally reunited (plus a little glimpse into the future))

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    30 Jun 2026

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    If Ilya Rozanov was set to be branded for life in the space above his butt crack, he was damn well going to pay a premium for it.

    Booking with one of the most exclusive tattoo studios in North America was the easy bit.

    Having his brain melted into oblivion by Shane Hollander’s steady hands and even steadier voice was decidedly not part of the plan.

    Or, the one where tattoo artist Shane is very good at giving instructions.

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    29 Jun 2026

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    Sock @ilyarozanovssocks
    Mate, I can guarantee that absolutely no one would be lucky to have you.

    Lily @shanehollandersrealgf
    Ah, and Rozanov is better than me?

    Sock @ilyarozanovssocks
    Obviously.

    Or: Ilya wants to thirst and brag about his boyfriend in public, so he finds a way to do so.

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    12 Jun 2026