CryingWanker
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Please, tell me how the fuck i’m supposed to deal with losing you. by CryingWanker
Fandoms: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
16 Oct 2025
Tags
Summary
He couldn’t breathe. The most he could do was gasp and grasp for air that felt as if it simply weren’t there. His eyes stung like all hell, but all he could focus on was the fact that, had he not gotten there just in the nick of time, he would have had the blood of Rimmer’s second death on his hands.
It was him who didn’t know where to stop, who didn’t know how much of an effect his words and actions had on Rimmer, just how badly he had been suffering.
OR: Rimmer tries to kill himself, and Lister manages to stop him. Over the next few weeks, Lister simmers in the paranoia that he wont be there next time, and that it was probably his fault in the first place. Rimster comfort and cuddles ensues !
-
Tags
Summary
Lister was.. different, Rimmer noted, noticing how he was almost childlike in his current attitude. Well then, if Lister would act like a child, Rimmer would treat him like one. Not in the cruel, tough-love, condescending way, but in the way you’d speak to an excitable and jumpy animal that you were trying your hardest not to scare away, because if you spoke too harsh or too loud, moved too quickly or too suddenly, it would flee and cower.
OR: Lister has a not so nice time cooped up with Rimmer for a week straight during Marooned, but Rimmer is much more understanding than he ever expected the hologram to be.
OR OR: i cant stop writing ts, please help me. -
And the roads still long but you come along, and you hold my hand, and you understand. by CryingWanker
Fandoms: Lifesteal SMP
25 Aug 2025
Tags
Summary
And all he felt in that moment was pure hatred. The amount of hatred he felt was so overwhelming, he felt like he had to claw and scrape and peel off his skin, only if to let there be enough room for the anger to live. His body wasn’t big enough, he had so much anger and hatred within him in that moment, his physical form was too small to contain it all.
It was like lighting a fire in a box and watching all of the disgusting, black smoke be trapped inside, suffocating and burning until it inevitably died. Having only been able to be freed by making a hole in the box.
Spoke’s skin was the box. It was too constricting. He needed it gone, and he would have tried, had his hands not been more needed for covering his ears as the sounds of the world brutally assaulted his senses.
OR: spoke has a meltdown and parrot helps :( plus some devious duo!!
-
And I’m asking you to hold me just like the morning paper. by CryingWanker
Fandoms: Unstable Universe (Web Series), Lifesteal SMP
22 Aug 2025
Tags
Summary
All he wanted in that moment was to be with Mapicc, safe to do what he wanted. And what he wanted was not to be this.
Not be repulsively tall and gangly, with arms too long and legs too far. He wanted to be small, cradled in someones arms, not big enough to feel the pain and torture of this wide world, not big enough to have thoughts that scared him, just small enough to be talked to with care and patience. Just small enough that people wouldn’t hurt him again.
Smaller.
Spoke wanted to be smaller.
OR: spoke and mapicc follow minute back to his base, but spoke isnt feelign great :( luckily for him, minute and mapicc are there!!!! and then minute takes care of both mapicc and spoke and they eat sandwiches and bicker and sleep! yay! mafia trio!
-
You do it to yourself, you do. And that’s what really hurts. by CryingWanker
Fandoms: Lifesteal SMP
18 Aug 2025
Tags
Summary
Spoke didn’t know how much time had passed. He knew it was over an hour, but he didn’t know anything else. All he knew was the inwards collapse of his chest, leaving him raw and empty, the echoing sounds of his own cries and screams piercing his ears which had started ringing at some point.
His head throbbed in time with his heart beat. It hurt, and his mouth was dry and his eyes were stinging like a bitch, but he just couldn’t stop crying.
OR: spoke angst and pride duo fluff after :( read the tags pls !