DisasterShipBlonde
Fandoms
Recent works
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Summary
Abstract: the science of the human hug is said to stray into the realms of art, moreso when one is actively being pursued by the Royal Navy for crimes against the Crown. We analyse the embraces of the Caribbean's most notorious idiots, grading for quality, fragrance, and overall enjoyability. Funding for this study was kindly provided by BOFA University.
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It’s 1990. Heroin smuggler Ralph and his young accomplice Bryan languish in a Malaysian prison, awaiting the noose.
Based on Amongst Barbarians by Michael Hall.
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Izzy Hands Reviews Important Works of Art by DisasterShipBlonde
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
24 Nov 2022
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Summary
Izzy visits the Tate Britain. He doesn't know much about art, but he knows what he likes, and it's approximately none of this bollocks.
Series
- Part 2 of Izzy Hands: Culture Understander
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Izzy Hands Reviews Important Works of Literature by DisasterShipBlonde
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Nov 2022
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Summary
Izzy Hands has been taking in your library.
Death Of The Author? It bloody will be.
Series
- Part 1 of Izzy Hands: Culture Understander
Recent series
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- Words:
- 896
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 41
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Vignettes, following on from To Force His Hand, as Ed, Stede, and Izzy try new things--sexually and otherwise--in pursuit of a more balanced relationship. Now complete, Featuring such exciting things as trying new snacks! Scrapbooking! Vintage pornography! Flogging! Professional Development seminars! Emotional honesty! Ship Maintenance! Surviving a storm at sea, and cuddling about it!
Series
- Part 2 of To Force His Hand
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,737
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 759
- Kudos:
- 1,638
- Bookmarks:
- 171
- Hits:
- 24,792
Bookmarked by DisasterShipBlonde
09 Jul 2026
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Summary
Izzy is a monk on an island whose society relies on Kraken protection and treats them as gods. The island's religion centers on them, especially their breeding ritual, in which one monk or nun is selected to be their Vessel. Those who survive the process experience visions under the Krakens' mind-altering aphrodisiacs, and are elevated in the society as high priests/priestesses.
It is the greatest honor of Izzy's life to be chosen.
Series
- Part 9 of Kraken and Hen 'Verse
Bookmarked by DisasterShipBlonde
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
Captain Hornigold opens his cabin door to a wonderful surprise: an omega crewman in heat, all apologies and embarrassment. "You'd be right to put me ashore," Izzy Hands tells him. But what kind of captain – and what kind of alpha – would Ben be to reward Izzy's honesty and trust so poorly? No, this is something that Ben is prepared to handle personally.
Bookmarked by DisasterShipBlonde
18 Feb 2026
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Saltwater, Sweetbriar by SpaceCadetGlow for VioletSmith
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
17 Feb 2026
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Summary
Captain Hornigold finds himself undergoing an unexpected, late-in-life heat. Fortunately, he is a powerful man with seven Alphas under his command, and young Mister Hands is the one he deems best for the job.
Series
- Part 1 of Saltwater, Sweetbriar
Bookmarked by DisasterShipBlonde
17 Feb 2026
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Summary
It's not gay if it's a pirate thing. Right?
A week or so after the duel in S1E6 was called off, Stede is peer pressured into smoking weed with Ed and Izzy. Ed has a lovely afternoon satisfying both his hedonism and his masochism. Izzy revels in serving Ed and bullying Stede. Stede is in over his head and hanging on for dear life.
IzzyHandsBingo2025: Ed Teach, Cake, Canon Era
contains homophobic bullying, details in the notes.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,502
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 49
- Kudos:
- 113
- Bookmarks:
- 17
- Hits:
- 1,022
Bookmarked by DisasterShipBlonde
19 Jan 2026