1 - 20 of 22 Works by DojoLoach
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"I don't know, Blitzø. It seems like a bad idea," Stolas said with a frown.
Blitzø folded his arms over his chest and stomped one of his hooves. "It's totally fucking safe. VASS already told you!"
(VASS had not said that the cave was safe, in fact.)
"We don't know what's down there or how we will get back up," Stolas replied. "What if one of us gets hurt?"
"Yeah fuckin' right! I'm so strong and fast that I could kill literally anything with my bare hands. Like, literally anything at all! And you're the baddest bitch alive, so," he paused to slap Stolas on the ass and then grabbed his hand. "Let's go!"
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Or; The second in the series of my Pikmin AU where Blitzø and Stolas explore a cave. Each chapter is like its own little adventure where they might fight or fuck or both or neither.
Series
- Part 2 of Pikmin AU
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“Moxxie, who the fuck is that?”
Blitzø had told Moxxie he didn’t want another court jester. They had been through a shit ton of them and the last one, Dennis, had been so fucking terrible he’d decided it was a position his castle didn’t fucking need.
“He’s a jester, Your Majesty.” Moxxie provided unhelpfully. “Or maybe he’s a clown.”
The guy was dressed in a goofy ass costume made up of reds, yellows, and blues, with a pointy hat on top of his head and the stupid markings painted on his face. Obviously he was a jester. But he was also freakishly tall and covered in feathers, and Blitzø had never seen him before.
“His name, Moxx. And what the fuck is he doing here?” Blitzø snapped, lower eyelid twitching.
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Or; A mysterious clown owl shows up at Blitzø's castle. He doesn't speak, he's not very funny, and Blitzø is unreasonably horny about it.
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It felt amazing to be close with him like that again. The only light in the room came from the dull glow of the TV, and the way it hit Blitzø made it hard for Stolas to look away from him. He’d been a bit disappointed when the documentary ended, casting them mostly into darkness, but it wasn’t reason enough to stop.
It felt amazing until suddenly it didn’t.
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Or; Stolas struggles to understand why something from the past is bothering him so much now.
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The Very Horny Caterpillar by DojoLoach, HelluvaBoink, NeverALonelyDay
Fandoms: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
05 Apr 2026
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Blitzø hadn’t planned to go out during the lightning storm, but his antennae was twitching like crazy. Somebuggy was giving off some extremely horny pheromones out there, and Blitzø was going to get to the bottom of it.
Or; Stolitz as bugs. What else do you want me to say?
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The owl picked up the painting at a thrift store. He didn’t really seem like the type, but his eyes lit up the moment he saw it. Blitzø thought maybe he bought it as a joke for someone else, but then the owl took it home and put it up on the wall in the middle of his dining room. He stood back with his hands on his hips and smiled all wide at it.
Fucking weirdo.
Whatever. He seemed like an easy target, anyway.
“TADAAAA–ah fuck.”
Blitzø leapt out of the painting and fell flat on his fucking face.
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Or; Blitzø has a job as a sad clown in a painting that is released when people cry in front of him and then he tries to cheer them up but really he just wants them to kill themselves
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Stolas gazed out into the endless expanse of space before him. He’d been away longer than intended–it was time to turn back. Yet, as he stared into the silent void, a strange feeling crept in. The thought of returning home–to his planet, to his wife–didn’t bring him comfort. Instead, it stirred a deep, aching loneliness he didn’t know how to address.
Then, out of nowhere, there was a deafening crash. And then he was plummeting, plummeting, plummeting down…
• • •
The little creature he had met after his crash landing was quite cute, and how fortuitous that Stolas could communicate with him!
“Y’know, I could help you if you wanted me to,” Blitzø said with a grin, tail swaying slowly behind him. “But you have to give me something in return!”
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Or; A Pikmin inspired AU where a recently married Stolas crash lands on an alien planet where he meets Blitz, an alien creature who agrees to help him as long as he agrees to return the favor, one day. (No Pikmin knowledge required to read!)Series
- Part 1 of Pikmin AU
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Summary
3...2...
“Hey, can I borrow that?”
Stolas’ eyes flew open and he stared down at the ground to find an imp staring up at him.
"Your stool." The imp sighed and held up his own noose. "Just like, when you’re done.”
“Oh!” Stolas felt quite foolish. “My apologies, um… yes, of course you can borrow it when I’m done. I won’t be needing it anymore, after all.” He smiled, then tried to bring himself back to the task at hand. He inhaled and exhaled slowly and closed his eyes again.
3…2…
“So is this your first time doing something like this?”
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Or; Stolas and Blitzø meet when they both show up at the same forest to kill themselves.
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“What do you mean you’re going out? Out where? And why can’t I come?”
“It’s nothing exciting, Blitzø. I’ll be back in a few hours,” Stolas said, waving a hand dismissively as he hoisted his tote bag over his shoulder.
“You didn’t answer like, any of my questions.”
...So, yeah. Blitzø followed Stolas to the mall and was spying on him, big fucking whoop. It wasn’t his fault, Stolas had been acting really fucking weird and had basically forced him to do this!
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Or; Stolas experiences a Sinsmas Stallion Stampede and Blitzø freaks out because he had no idea that Saltine was going to die at the end of that stupid French movie.
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Blitzø couldn't be the last unicorn there was. After learning that the wicked Prince Stolas was the one responsible for their disappearance, he sets out on a quest to find the Prince and his people.
Though he is determined to get answers, he struggles to remember what he was searching for when he finds himself transformed into the body of an imp. He is haunted by strange memories and things are not making any sense, and the Prince is not exactly as everyone had described him.
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Or; The Last Unicorn inspired AU. Starts off similar to the plot of TLU then diverges completely. You do not need to have seen the movie or read the book to understand this fic!
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Most teenagers couldn’t wait for their 18th birthday, because for most teenagers it symbolized a time when you truly gained your independence and had the freedom to do what you wanted when you wanted.
For Stolas, turning 18 felt like the exact opposite.
“What if you married someone terrible? Like… someone super embarrassing, or whatever… that even if your Dad made you get a divorce no one wanted to marry you because of how terrible they were?” Blitzø asked.
Stolas stared at him for a long while before answering. “I am marrying someone terrible and embarrassing. Her name is Stella.”
“No, Stols.. what I’m saying is what if you married someone like an imp? Wouldn’t that be enough to make them not want you anymore? Matter of fact, make it a dude, just to really drive it home to the other Geotia that you’re totally unhinged.”
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Or; Stolas and Blitzø remained friends after meeting as children, and Blitzø has the brilliant plan for them to get married to tarnish the Prince's reputation so that no other Goetia will want to marry him. And for absolutely NO other reason, or ulterior motive. At all.
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The Evil Slutty Witch and the Hungry Imp by DojoLoach for caitsoprano
Fandoms: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
05 Nov 2025
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Blitzø should’ve known throwing fucking bread crumbs wouldn’t be good enough to lead him back home. Of course some birds or squirrels or something were gonna eat them, and of course he was gonna be stuck out here in this stupid fucking forest and die just like his stupid fucking Dad wanted. ...Or that's what he thought before he, luckily, found a house made entirely of cheese and hot sauce. However, unluckily, it belonged to the evil slutty witch he'd heard so much about.
The rumors about him started up about a year ago, and warned that although he seemed sweet, he would try to trick you into touching him. If you made the mistake of doing so, he’d eat you alive. Blitzø used to think it was all bullshit, but many people had said they’d seen the witch, and they all agreed that he was unusually friendly and seemed particularly desperate. And this owl seemed unusually friendly and particularly desperate.
So as long as he didn’t touch him, then, it should be fine.
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Or; A (loosely) Hansel and Gretel inspired fic where Blitzø gets lost in the forest and starts eating Stolas' house, and Stolas is a witch who may or may not be evil and/or slutty.
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Blitzø had always loved art, but he never dreamed that one day he would be able to make a career out of it. Yet here he was, running his very own pottery painting studio in the Pride ring. He had named it I.M.P., short for I Make Pottery, and it was doing very well for itself. Apparently, a lot of demons needed a creative outlet, and I.M.P. helped fill that void.
Right now, he needed to hire another employee desperately, but it was proving difficult because of how damn picky he was. He had one more interview lined up and had already mentally decided he wasn’t going to hire the applicant because she was only 17.
Or; Blitzø owns a pottery painting studio and hires a young owl to work there and finds out she’s the daughter of the prince he met 25 years ago, and also the prince grew up to be really hot.
Series
- Part 1 of Pottery AU
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Blitzø still woke up every day feeling so lucky that he had Stolas in his life. He loved his owl, he loved their family, he loved waking up to him, working with him, talking and laughing and crying with him… he loved Stolas more than anything. And he almost never wanted to be apart from him.
Almost.
“Oh, we get to be teammates, Blitzy!”
Fuckin’ shit!
He could already hear Loona and Octavia doing their best to stifle their laughter, and he had to grit his teeth so that he didn’t scream in frustration. Now was not the fucking time for him to get stuck with Stolas in a minigame!
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Or; Stolitz family plays Mario Party and Blitzø gets stuck with Stolas for a partner minigame and tries not to crash out
Series
- Part 3 of Friendzoning Universe
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“Come on, Stols. Can you please hurry up and get ready? You said you were excited.” Blitzø whined, staring down at Stolas over the back of the couch as Stolas glared daggers back up at him.
Stolas knew that he should feel sorry, maybe even a little embarrassed. Blitzø had asked him to be ready when he got back from work so they could go do something “special” and “just for them”, and he had been excited.
The problem was that he had let himself get too excited, and as the day went on that excitement eventually turned to guilt as it usually did, and then he started to hate the person who was staring back at him every time he looked in the mirror and “getting ready” suddenly became an impossible feat.
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Or; An angsty then fluffy Lunar New Year Stolitz fic where Stolas is struggling with side effects of getting back on his meds and being generally depressed and Blitz takes him to see fireworks
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“Hm?” Blitzø turned towards the billboard in question, squinting at it. “Uhhh… well I don’t know what that word says, but–”
“Aquarium.” Stolas offered.
“Uh huh. Ok. So it’s an aquarium.” Blitzø said.
Stolas turned to face him, rolling his eyes dramatically. “I’m asking what the thing on the billboard is, Blitzø. You know what an aquarium is, and that is certainly not an aquarium. For fuck’s sake.”
“Not my fault you didn’t specify what the fuck you meant, birdie.” Blitzø said with a playful nudge. He squinted at the billboard again. There was some kind of big ass fish on it with a big, stupid looking mouth. “I have no idea, some kind of fish I guess. It looks stupid.”
“Can we go see it?” Stolas asked, taking Blitzø by surprise. Stolas hadn’t really requested to go anywhere or do anything the past month.
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Or; Blitzø attempts to cheer Stolas up. They end up at an aquarium in search of a weird fish they saw on the billboard.
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So, Stolas lost everything.
Everything.
Ev-er-y-thing.Blitzø was not panicking. He wasn’t. He could provide Stolas with somewhere to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, TV to watch, friends to hang out with, shit, even somewhere to work if he really wanted.
That is, until Stolas had told him that everything included his powers. How the fuck was that even possible? No, Blitzø wasn’t panicking. He was fucking terrified.
Or; Blitzø freaks the fuck out when he realizes Stolas can now get hurt and killed just like anyone else.
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He was so lucky to get to spend so much time around the man he loved and have that man love him back. So he really shouldn’t complain.
He really shouldn’t… but…
“Blitzø, did you eat some of my cookies?” Stolas asked quietly, looking at the half empty package of cookies Blitzø had picked up from the living realm for him.
“No, Stols, for the hundredth time I didn’t eat your fucking oreos.”
He knew Blitzø was lying. And he knew he shouldn’t complain, and he shouldn’t care, and he should just let Blitzø eat the oreos if he wanted them so badly, but something about this situation was really rubbing him the wrong way.
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Or; Blitzø keeps eating Stolas' oreos and it's REALLY pissing him off
Series
- Part 2 of Friendzoning Universe
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It was finally over. The divorce had been finalized.
Stolas was free.
He had gone over this moment in his mind so many times but he never imagined it would ever actually arrive. He’d long ago resigned himself to forever being unhappy, convinced he just wasn’t meant to enjoy his life. Now that it was here, he’d expected to be ecstatic, to be relieved, to feel like he could do anything.
Yet, somehow, he felt even emptier than before.
He was free.
He should be happy.
So why wasn’t he?
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Or; Stolas struggles with his mental health and undoing the damage from years of being in an abusive relationship. Blitzø is there to help get him through it.
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It had been two weeks since Blitzø watched Stolas being orally assaulted by that (absolutely fucking jacked) incubus. Two weeks of telling himself he was happy for the stupid slut owl. Two weeks of telling everyone else he was fucking fine because everyone had to keep fucking asking. Two weeks of him collecting any stray feathers he could find in his car or on his clothes or in his office and putting them in a little jar… for science and research purposes, obviously.
Two fucking weeks too fucking long.
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Or; Blitzø takes up birding as a hobby, and he's not very good at it.
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Something was wrong with Bernard. The carnivorous plant that grew near the edge of the pool had become… irate.
It drove Stolas insane. He felt like a failure for not being able to figure out what he had done to wrong the poor plant. He felt like a failure because he couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
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Blitzø stared at the scuffed toe of his boot, a knot forming in his stomach.
It had been two months since he’d seen Bottlecap and he couldn’t help but miss the stupid thing.
(It has also been two months since he’d seen Stolas, but he preferred to think about Bottlecap.)
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Or; Blitzø misses the plant that bit his foot at the beginning of Apology Tour, and Stolas doesn't know why the plant looks so sad lately.