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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    02 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Gentlemen,” Lyonel interrupted. “We aren’t here to debate the ethics of sex work, we’re here to partake in it.”

    OR

    When the stripper actually likes you and neither of you really know what to do with that.

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    27 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Hobbits on average eat six, sometimes seven meals a day. Bilbo struggles with eating drastically less than this while on the journey to Erebor and at the same time does not wish to show his weakness.

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    25 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 55

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    Having never taken a hobbit as a lover, Thorin has some difficulty learning how to please his betrothed. Luckily, Bilbo is the patient sort and has always been very good with directions.

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    21 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Is there something on your mind, Frodo?” he asked, patiently waiting as the boy seemed to pause as though thinking.

    “Uncle…” he began, only to trail off. He then huffed and pulled away slightly until he was looking right up at Bilbo. “You’re not happy here, Uncle,” he stated bluntly, “you don’t like the Shire. You miss the Lonely Mountain.”

    “I am happy, Frodo-”

    “Don’t lie! You always lie about it, Uncle,” Frodo told him, “I want you to be happy. I want to see you smile again, like you did for me.”
    ---
    Bilbo returned to the Shire to take care of his young nephew Frodo after Frodo's parents died. He left behind the one he loved and the family he cared for dearly, but a promise is a promise and a Baggins keeps their promises. Thankfully, Frodo loves his uncle just as much as he loves adventures, so if convincing Uncle Bilbo to take him to Erebor means that his uncle will smile again, that's a win-win situation for him!

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    21 Jun 2026