Felicia_Fancybottom



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    Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

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    03 May 2025

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Harry accidentally sends a dick pic to Draco.

    So what does Draco do? He does the only rational thing he can think of: Give Harry lessons on how to sext.

    He totally doesn't do it for his own enjoyment and Harry totally doesn't play into it for his own either... Chaos is bound in ensue.

    *

    This fic uses workskins to simulate an iMessage conversation. This is a crack!fic.

    Language:
    English
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    22,166
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    6/6
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    05 Apr 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark 65

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    it’s just a ditch of dicks

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    08 Mar 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    what it says on the tin

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    4/?
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    08 Mar 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “What’s up, creepy crawly?” The Alpha bumped shoulders with Pete. “You’re quiet.”

    “Don’t feel good.” Peter mumbled. “M’in heat.”

    “Heat.” Wade echoed dumbly. “I uh-- I didn’t know you people did that sort of thing.”

    “My people?”

    “You arachnid idenitfying individuals.” Wade mimed having eight legs and fangs. “Didn’t know you spidery folk did the monthly horny cycle thing.”

    “I’m human, Wade.” Peter said tiredly. “An Omega. Human.”

    “Right. No.” the Alpha nodded. “Sure. I totally knew that. Definitely knew you were human. Yep.”

    The silence was fifty shades of extremely awkward, so Wade took a deep breath and decided to make it all worse.

    “...you want me to help you through your heat?”

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    06 Mar 2026

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