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the party's crashing us by ziammehome
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
28 Jan 2026
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Obi-Wan Kenobi just wants a quiet night at home with his television, his cat, and a six pack.
But when he stops for beer at the gas station, instead he finds Anakin: a twenty-two year old tripping on acid and seemingly stranded with nothing but the clothes on his back.
Well, Obi-Wan can't just leave him there, can he?
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
09 Jul 2026
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Slipping Through My Fingers by Hiyu for InfiresAddiction
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
25 Jun 2026
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Henry has spent nearly a fortnight tracking the poacher known only as Ghost. But when he finally finds the camp he's been searching for, he discovers something far more precious than he ever expected. Hans. His lord. Tired, bruised, and worn thin, but alive. Letting Hans leave once was a mistake Henry will never repeat. This time, he's holding on—fully set on bringing his lord home, making him whole again, and taking care of him the way he always should have. In the depths of the forest, Henry finally finds Hans again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,195
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 72
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 502
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
02 Jul 2026
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literally just porn without plot. it's winter, it's cold in pirkstein, and henry holds the (unofficial) title of lord capon's bedwarmer
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
26 Jun 2026
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皮克斯坦因未来的领主大人有某方面的障碍，身为他的随从理应帮他解决任何问题，当然也包括这个
*kcd1背景Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
20 Jun 2026
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Memento Mori (Remember To Die) by sugaryhoneyicedtea
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
09 Jun 2026
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“Do you mean sodomy?”
The word carried a heavy weight. Most people uttered it with hatred in their hearts. It was a sin, an act against the divine word of God. Hans and Henry heard it plenty, more times than they could count. But to hear a word and practice its meaning were two different subjects. They both knew what it meant, what they were condemning themselves to. And yet, they lay unafraid, unwavering. A hair’s breadth apart.
“Yes, I suppose… As an act of devotion of sorts.”
Henry’s heart fluttered, and he smiled. He held Hans’ chin between his fingers and moved his head until their eyes met again. In those combinations of blues, a spark flickered.
Memento Mori- A reminder of mortality; an encouragement to live without fears, concerns, and doubts.
Or, the night they spent together before Henry, alongside Samuel, sought for Margrave Jobst. In his absence, Hans defended the Suchdol fortress while haunted by his thoughts, which were only silenced in their reunion. Albeit Hans' arranged marriage lingered near, they found their escape and solace in each other.
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
12 Jun 2026
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“The nights are getting colder,” he landed on. “You’ll warm my bed from now on.”
Henry’s eyes widened, and he raised an eyebrow. He quickly glanced at Hanush, but his lack of reaction made Henry’s gaze return to Hans. The nobleman wasn’t even sure his uncle had heard them, staring at the fire absentmindedly as he was.
“What?” Henry repeated, this time dumbfounded.
“Well, it's your duty as my squire.”
Henry tilted his head as he continued to stare. Hans couldn’t hide his amusement at his confusion. As he looked into them, he felt stricken once again by just how blue his best friend’s eyes were. It was especially noticeable when his big, goofy eyes were held wide open as they were, matching the look of a begging puppy. Adorable.
“Sorry, my lord, but… Could you clarify what you mean by warming your bed?”
______Chapter 2: Bonus scene.
These tags apply for chapter 2:
Christmas - Romantic Fluff - don't look too closely at historical accuracyBookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
10 Jun 2026
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Henry is sent on a fool's errand by a villager yet again, tasked to retrieve the scale of a mermaid, said to have healing properties. Hearing of the creature haunting the shores of a lake near Maleshov, his curiosity is piqued, and he sets out to find the origin of the rumor.
What he finds is not quite what he expected.Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
24 May 2026
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塞缪尔不知道这气味从何而来
English version is in Chapter2, enjoy!
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
11 May 2026
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Carve a spot for me in your soul, wrap me in its embrace by cherryjuice0
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
05 May 2026
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Post the Suchdol siege, Hans and Henry spend what little time they have together left with each other before the wedding. Drinking, dancing, and finding refuge in each other in whatever corners they could hide away in from prying eyes. Embracing in each other's touch drinking each other in, now that they both know they feel as strongly as the other.
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
11 May 2026
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Henry found out who the poacher was, and slightly surprised it was Hans. They used the interaction to make up, and do other things.
(Aka the alternative timeline were they make up before the wedding)
Series
- Part 1 of Falling in Love with His Squire
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
08 May 2026
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In a kingdom that's on the brink of war, an Omega is too dangerous to be left unclaimed.
Hans Capon does not want a husband, especially not another one of Uncle Hanush's poorly arranged matches. He's run away before and he'll do so again.
Meanwhile, Henry has been tasked with becoming Hans' newest husband. He is the shield that is supposed to protect Hans.
While their marriage begins as a necessity, they both grow together and discover what it's like to finally rely on another person as their relationship blossoms into something neither of them expected.
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
26 Apr 2026
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Henry and Hans have run off to God only knows where and Sir Hanush is furious. At Henry. At Radzig. At himself for agreeing to join his house with Lord Kunstadt's.
Radzig lets his friend rage. He knows it isn't about the boys. Their argument is a little closer to home for they have always avoided naming what exists between them.
But with everything settling down, Radzig intends to remind Hanush that he was not the one who started it all.
Written for A March Around the Kingdom — Day 7 Rattay
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,260
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2
- Kudos:
- 21
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 182
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
25 Apr 2026
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For the first time in his life of indulgence, Hans has found something he can never have, Henry. In a stroke of genius, the young lord comes up with a game that allows the two of them to enjoy each other's company more freely; by pretending he is the god Apollo and Henry is the mortal Adonis. But what happens when the young lord's feelings grow too big for his body, and Henry becomes more than a friend and an infrequent lover?
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
24 Apr 2026
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But If Thy Wife I Were, And Had Thy love by gondolinarchivist
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
05 Apr 2025
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Henry playfully wrestles him to the ground, and their laughter shakes the trees. This is what life ought to be: easy and sweet and without any past or future. The rest of the world can hang for all Hans cares; all he wants is to make Henry laugh, and to turn him every shade of red possible.
“Shut up or I'll fill you up,” Henry threatens. “I’ll get a strong son on you.”
Something flutters in Hans’s chest. “I'm not a fucking maid, Henry.” He struggles a little more, just for show, and Henry pins his hands above his head.
“Could be,” Henry counters, grinning. “My maid, my girl, the way you take me.”
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In which Henry helps Hans forget about his upcoming nuptials, a wedding night is shared, and Hans yearns to become something other than what he is.
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
14 Apr 2026
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七岁的亨利捡到一个名叫“哈娜”的小女孩，他找了她很多年。
亨利并不知道，命运女神其实早已把“她”送到了身边。Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
12 Apr 2026
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The Great Pizzle Measuring Test by IPegYourBardon
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
04 Mar 2026
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Hans turned, folding his arms. Even hungover, he managed to look imperious. “A comprehensive evaluation must include endurance, agility, and strategic thinking.”
“This is not a battlefield.”
“It is a matter of honour.”
“It was a tavern joke.”
“It was a declaration.”
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
12 Apr 2026
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servant to the lord of pirkstein by bexthebard
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
24 Mar 2026
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Hans Capon has travelled to the backend town of Skalitz with Uncle Hanush. Somehow, this town seems so much smaller now that he’s grown up.
In need of a servant, Hans picks a new one from the streets of Skalitz. His name is Henry and for a servant, the man has some of the boldest eyes that Hans has ever witnessed.
And also quite surprisingly, this Henry is rather good at making Hans’ heart race.
Written for A March Around the Kingdom — Day 1 Skalitz
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,669
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 18
- Kudos:
- 89
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 622
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
05 Apr 2026
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Hans and Henry make it to the wedding at Semine each using their own methods.
However, despite it all, they still can't seem to stay away from each other.
At least, Hans for one, keeps a sharp eye on Henry throughout the day's events.
Written for A March Around the Kingdom — Day 3 Semine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,721
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 5
- Kudos:
- 56
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 550
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
05 Apr 2026
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“Yield,” Henry commanded. His voice was low, rough and stripped of all deference.
Hans didn’t move. He lay there, pinned under the blacksmith’s weight, his chest heaving up against Henry’s hand. He turned his head slightly, looking up through the visor.
“You enjoy this, don’t you?” Hans wheezed, the words barely audible. “Looking down on me?”
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A resentful young Lord Capon and Henry navigate a romance forbidden by class but forged in blood, moving from bitter rivals to secret lovers amidst the chaos.
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
05 Apr 2026
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Quite a Lot to Take In by macaque for borealis
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
02 Apr 2026
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Henry flushed, crossing his arms. "It's not that! Plenty of girls liked me! It's, er, well my pizzle, it's—"
"Eurgh!" exclaimed Sir Hans, leaping away from him with his finger pointed accusingly. "Your peasant pizzle is diseased! I should have known!" He crossed himself hurriedly, then said, "How dare you get anywhere near me with that, now I've got to go have another visit to the baths—"
"No!" Henry protested, "I'm not diseased! It's too big, it is!"
Or, Henry of Skalitz has never had sex on account of being overendowed. For some reason, Sir Hans Capon decides to make it his problem.
Bookmarked by HOWtodrawoldman
05 Apr 2026