ImperialProcrastinator



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are teammates, charity co-founders and ex-rivals. They are definitely not dating, and are obviously both super heterosexual.
    It's a new season and Lily (Shane's very real girlfriend, who is definitely not his Captain Ilya Rozanov) has decided to join the group chat for the spouses and partners of Ottawa Centaurs, which Jane (Ilya Rozanov's very real girlfriend, who is definitely not his alternate Captain Shane Hollander) is already a member of.

    What could go wrong?

    ( The sequel to "I just need a quiet place where I can scream how I love you")

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,787
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    559
    Kudos:
    1,571
    Bookmarks:
    183
    Hits:
    19,649

    29 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    “Me finding out that instead of mysterious and cool, people think I’m autistic and lesbian.”

    Ilya and Shane get Reddit’s advice under the aliases Lily and Jane. Things spiral from there….

    Words:
    35,142
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2,508

    28 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 26

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander can’t keep sitting on his couch, nursing a broken leg and watching his team drown without him. He’ll do anything to fill the gap hockey left behind, even something as stupid as competing on Celebrity MasterChef.

    Shane wants a distraction so big he’ll forget hockey, forget Rozanov, and especially forget that afternoon in Boston, and the outstretched hand he walked away from. Unfortunately for Shane, ignoring Rozanov won’t be so easy when he’s one table away, wearing a matching apron, and talking to the cameras about the recipes that shaped his childhood.

    (Or: Right after the tuna-melt scene, both Shane and Ilya get injured, and to fill the time they both decide to go on Celebrity MasterChef.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,346
    Chapters:
    3/12
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1,040

    27 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    In an effort to get back to the Stanley Cup finals, The Boston Bears adds a new skating coach to the permanent coaching team: Newly retired pair skater Shane Hollander, who's fresh of an Olympic gold medal, and possibly-

    No, scratch that. He is definitely the prettiest man Ilya Rozanov has ever seen. Especially when he moves across their shared ice like he was born for it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,394
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    625
    Bookmarks:
    193
    Hits:
    8,687

    27 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Just got the word from the officials, Metros are shutting Miitka down for the night," LeClaire says almost dispassionately. “Third period we’re up against,” LeClaire consults his clipboard, “Shane Hollander. Drafted 2009, current starter for the Laval Maples, posts a .905 save percentage.”

    Ilya stays where he is, rolling the name around in his head once, without much interest.

    Hollander.

    Doesn’t ring a bell.


    Inspired by that one twitter post, what if Shane was a goalie?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    156,245
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    3,878
    Kudos:
    8,736
    Bookmarks:
    2,647
    Hits:
    195,634

    26 Jun 2026